KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Dlongracing on January 29, 2014, 02:01:00 PM
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I'm 42 years old and I've been using for 25 years. I've never considered myself a "heavy dipper" as I only dipped about 2-3 tins a month. I am a liar. I was dipping every day, but small dips that I would leave in for hours. I dip when I drink, tell myself a lie that it will help me not get drunk. I dip when I drive, tell myself it will keep me awake at the wheel. I dip when I have a work deadline I need to meet, tell myself that it helps me focus. I dip when I'm around people who dip and I dip when I'm alone. The only time I don't dip is when I'm around my kids. Unless you count long car trips. I am a liar. I've quit several times. Last time it was for a few months. During that time I did have a dip here and there, but wasn't buying any dip. That counts right? I'm sick of it. I went to a store that advertised the non-tobacco Hooch. I got to the store and they didn't have any. The guy at the counter asked if I wanted this insteadÂ… holds up tin of kodiak. I hate Kodiak, but in that moment I wanted it. Immediately I thought, well I triedÂ…Â…Â… It was close, but I ended up buying sunflower seeds instead. Very small victory. Every day needs to be a series of small victories. It's not like anyone is going to force me to dip, I control what happens, not the dick that offered me kodiak when I asked for non-tobacco dip, not my friend who offers me a dip on the golf course, not the little nicotine receptors in my brain. I control what happens. Day one halfway over.
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I'm 42 years old and I've been using for 25 years. I've never considered myself a "heavy dipper" as I only dipped about 2-3 tins a month. I am a liar. I was dipping every day, but small dips that I would leave in for hours. I dip when I drink, tell myself a lie that it will help me not get drunk. I dip when I drive, tell myself it will keep me awake at the wheel. I dip when I have a work deadline I need to meet, tell myself that it helps me focus. I dip when I'm around people who dip and I dip when I'm alone. The only time I don't dip is when I'm around my kids. Unless you count long car trips. I am a liar. I've quit several times. Last time it was for a few months. During that time I did have a dip here and there, but wasn't buying any dip. That counts right? I'm sick of it. I went to a store that advertised the non-tobacco Hooch. I got to the store and they didn't have any. The guy at the counter asked if I wanted this instead… holds up tin of kodiak. I hate Kodiak, but in that moment I wanted it. Immediately I thought, well I tried……… It was close, but I ended up buying sunflower seeds instead. Very small victory. Every day needs to be a series of small victories. It's not like anyone is going to force me to dip, I control what happens, not the dick that offered me kodiak when I asked for non-tobacco dip, not my friend who offers me a dip on the golf course, not the little nicotine receptors in my brain. I control what happens. Day one halfway over.
yup...your an addict
But you are in the right place.
Everything you wrote in your intro was me 59 days ago. I was the same lying addict you were. Now Im free and so are you.
Read everything here. Post roll call. Promise to quit. Live up to your promise.
check your inbox (1)
PB
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I'm 42 years old and I've been using for 25 years. I've never considered myself a "heavy dipper" as I only dipped about 2-3 tins a month. I am a liar. I was dipping every day, but small dips that I would leave in for hours. I dip when I drink, tell myself a lie that it will help me not get drunk. I dip when I drive, tell myself it will keep me awake at the wheel. I dip when I have a work deadline I need to meet, tell myself that it helps me focus. I dip when I'm around people who dip and I dip when I'm alone. The only time I don't dip is when I'm around my kids. Unless you count long car trips. I am a liar. I've quit several times. Last time it was for a few months. During that time I did have a dip here and there, but wasn't buying any dip. That counts right? I'm sick of it. I went to a store that advertised the non-tobacco Hooch. I got to the store and they didn't have any. The guy at the counter asked if I wanted this instead… holds up tin of kodiak. I hate Kodiak, but in that moment I wanted it. Immediately I thought, well I tried……… It was close, but I ended up buying sunflower seeds instead. Very small victory. Every day needs to be a series of small victories. It's not like anyone is going to force me to dip, I control what happens, not the dick that offered me kodiak when I asked for non-tobacco dip, not my friend who offers me a dip on the golf course, not the little nicotine receptors in my brain. I control what happens. Day one halfway over.
yup...your an addict
But you are in the right place.
Everything you wrote in your intro was me 59 days ago. I was the same lying addict you were. Now Im free and so are you.
Read everything here. Post roll call. Promise to quit. Live up to your promise.
check your inbox (1)
PB
Me too! I was in for 23 years. Little bitty dips all day long. Ninja dipper in church. I could damn near sneak one in if I could talk my wife in to moving doggy style. Read read read. Post roll. You only have to stay nic free for one day man. You can do anything for one day. Then I'll do it with you tomorrow.
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Pbrain nailed it. Read read read. Post roll (if you haven't). Stay close to KTC for a while.
Quitting is hard, brother. But you seem to understand how dip gets into your mouth, and how it doesn't. There are no tricks...just keep choosing freedom. I promise you two things...I will be quit with you all day, and that it gets easier.
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I'm 42 years old and I've been using for 25 years. I've never considered myself a "heavy dipper" as I only dipped about 2-3 tins a month. I am a liar. I was dipping every day, but small dips that I would leave in for hours. I dip when I drink, tell myself a lie that it will help me not get drunk. I dip when I drive, tell myself it will keep me awake at the wheel. I dip when I have a work deadline I need to meet, tell myself that it helps me focus. I dip when I'm around people who dip and I dip when I'm alone. The only time I don't dip is when I'm around my kids. Unless you count long car trips. I am a liar. I've quit several times. Last time it was for a few months. During that time I did have a dip here and there, but wasn't buying any dip. That counts right? I'm sick of it. I went to a store that advertised the non-tobacco Hooch. I got to the store and they didn't have any. The guy at the counter asked if I wanted this instead… holds up tin of kodiak. I hate Kodiak, but in that moment I wanted it. Immediately I thought, well I tried……… It was close, but I ended up buying sunflower seeds instead. Very small victory. Every day needs to be a series of small victories. It's not like anyone is going to force me to dip, I control what happens, not the dick that offered me kodiak when I asked for non-tobacco dip, not my friend who offers me a dip on the golf course, not the little nicotine receptors in my brain. I control what happens. Day one halfway over.
yup...your an addict
But you are in the right place.
Everything you wrote in your intro was me 59 days ago. I was the same lying addict you were. Now Im free and so are you.
Read everything here. Post roll call. Promise to quit. Live up to your promise.
check your inbox (1)
PB
PB is right. You are as screwed up as all the rest of us. You will fit right in as long as you post roll everyday, keep that promise and do it again the next day. Its actually pretty simple. You will find all the support you will need here. Welcome. PM me if you need digits. Welcome to the suck. It gets better if you just hang in there!
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Welcome Dlongracing! You have found the right place to quit. Be prepared for a trying first several days and just know that posting roll and reading here will help get you to the other side of the nicotine leaving your body. After that its all about making it one day at a time (ODAAT)!
I have made it 29 days and I'm quitting with you today!
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Your intro moved me. I just hit 50 today, and your intro was my intro, except I used so long I got past lying and just owned up to it.
Listen to what the others have said. I would only add something that has worked for me: Register and use the chat. For some reason when I was hurting most during the 4 to 15 day period, there always seemed someone in there that I could talk to, and it was convenient that I could hit it while at work, home, etc. What is funny is I have never been a computer chatting type, but for some reason the live chat helped.
I quit with you.
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Nice job posting your day 1 roll. You are on your way.
It's going to suck....but you promised!!!
One day at a time. It will get better. A lot better.
Enjoy your new found freedom
PB
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Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I'm sitting here dipping a slim jim. Its satisfying the oral fixation, and it tastes just nasty enough to satisfy whatever pleasure/pain I got out of the taste of tobacco. Only difference is that I'm gutting the the slim jim juice. I'm feeling good about day one as I'm about to leave the office without giving in. I'm taking stock in my desktop which has slim jim wrappers, a ranch flavored sunflower seed pack and discarded seed spit cup and it's really disgusting. Funny thing is that thinking back I never looked at my multiple spit cups as disgusting, when objectively there are few things more vile than an old spit cup with old spit. I'm going home for the night and day one will be in the books. Overall I didn't get headaches or irritability (that I could notice), but I thought about dipping an awful lot. Can't wait to post up tomorrow.
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This is a great self evaluation. Admitting and objectively seeing addiction is a huge step.
The day I admitted I was addicted to nicotine was the day I controlled nicotine instead of nicotine controlling me. It does not make quitting easy, it just meant I call the shots.
Well done sir!
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Nice intro. You seem like you are in the exact right place mentally too.
The only thing I want to stress to you is that you should post roll every damn day when you first get up. That way you remove the possibility of falling for the nic bitch for your entire day. It's all about honoring your word to your quit brothers/sisters.
I quit with you brother.
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Welcome to the best ride of your life.....Nicotine Free.........It will be a bitch for the first few days as the suck really sets in and the bitch tries to sweet talk you into coming back for her. Don't give her the satisfaction and stomp on her guts instead. Welcome to the asylum and remember its one day at a time and only one day. That motto is the only way to survive this. Quit with you today............
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OK so some interesting thoughts. I'm reading some of the bio's of the other people on the site and I start thinking... I was never a tin a day or even a tin every two days... maybe I don't ... WTF! Day one and that little fucking voice in the back of my head is telling me "your not addicted like these guys." I know I'm an addict, I act exactly like an addict, I'm licking my lower lip about every 5 seconds, so why does my mind wander to "your not an addict"?
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My guess is because you don't want to be one, none does, yet here we are.
I was a two tin/week guy because I was a stealth dipper, threw tins out when 2/3 gone because it would get dry. I'm still an addict. It's kind of like pregnant, you can't be just a little pregnant.
You're doing the right thing! It may suck, but it's righteous medicine for you and your body.
I'm a quitter and proud, you should be too!
You're not not saying 'you're not an addict', that's the nicotine bitch lying to you!
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OK so some interesting thoughts. I'm reading some of the bio's of the other people on the site and I start thinking... I was never a tin a day or even a tin every two days... maybe I don't ... WTF! Day one and that little fucking voice in the back of my head is telling me "your not addicted like these guys." I know I'm an addict, I act exactly like an addict, I'm licking my lower lip about every 5 seconds, so why does my mind wander to "your not an addict"?
She is whispering in your ear. Filling you with self doubt. She doesn't want to let you go and she won't. She is tricking you.
You are in the right place bro.
We all quit with you
Pb
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Day one and that little fucking voice in the back of my head is telling me "your not addicted like these guys." Â….I'm licking my lower lip about every 5 seconds, so why does my mind wander to "your not an addict"?
oh yea, that's addict talk courtesy of your old friend nicotine. She's pretty pissed off at you because you haven't given her any sustenance in the last 24 hours. Maybe you don't have headaches, or physical symptoms, but you definitely have the subconscious psychological shit.
We've all been there and done that. Many of are still doing that cuz even when the nicotine is out of your system, your addiction to her will always remain. Never again for any reason can you let her win. Ever. Welcome to KTC, your new lifeline to make sure YOU win one day, one battle at a time.
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Congratulations on Day 50. I'm one day behind you. Stay strong, if you're like me, its still very tough. One day at a time.
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Congratulations on Day 50. I'm one day behind you. Stay strong, if you're like me, its still very tough. One day at a time.
the big 50, CONGRATS!
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Welcome to the HOF, 100 is a great start!
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Gratz on the hundo!
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NICE WORK. Loved your first post vey relatable. Can't wait to join you in the hall. Congrats on not being a liar anymore.
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NICE WORK. Loved your first post vey relatable. Can't wait to join you in the hall. Congrats on not being a liar anymore.
Congrats on the HOF!
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A day late, but nice work on the 200!
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A day late, but nice work on the 200!
Congrats on 2nd floor Dlong! Looking forward to the next hundo, ODAAT!