KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Mr. O on October 04, 2010, 02:37:00 PM
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Hello. I wanted to tell my story to hopefully help someone else that may need it or maybe I am hoping that actually writing it out and sharing will help me in some way.
I started smoking at the age of 14. About a pack every two-three days. I never had an issue or a problem with it either. Actually, I liked it. Since going down to the gas station for smokes also involved soda. I started drinking soda by the gallon it seemed. (This will tie in later.)
Fast forward 4 years. Still smoking the same. Now I am 18 and in the work arena. My particular line of work is outside. Perfect. Still smoking. Problem now is, my body is so messed up from years of sports and stupidity. Could the smoking have played a part as well? Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, now I take approximately 12 - 15 Excedrin a day. I did work up to that amount as I didn't want to OD day 1.
+3ish Years. I end up having my first child. Hmmm, I think to myself. Time to quit smoking, as this can't possibly be a good thing around my child, so I did. Without smoking though, I got bored. Not sure how I started, but I did with smokeless tobacco about a month later. During this time I went through many different bizarre issues. Maybe it's because I gut it all the time. I had an indoor job at this time so spitting was not really an option
There came a time where for some odd reason it felt like someone was reaching into my back, grabbing my spine and twisting it. This went on for several months until one day I got tired of hearing all the Dr's say, I dunno, I went to the pharmacy and picked up one of everything for every symptom. Know what the problem was? Too much stomach acid. So, I needed an acid reducer. Problem solved. Attribute to dip? Probably, but problem solved so no worries.
As the years went on, I got the point of if I didn't have a dip in my mouth it was because I was eating or going to bed. However, the past few months have been one for bed, wake up in the morning and swap for a fresh one.
8 years total, I quit 15 days ago. Not because I wanted to either. I had to. You see, life insurance policies give a better rate if you are a non tobacco user. I already have a few policies in place, but not what they need to be with the amount of debt I have or would leave.
So, my only reason for quitting was to get a lower rate on life insurance. This will be my only term life insurance so dying in an accident would be the protection I am looking for. Honestly, I see myself picking up right were I left off once this plan is in place. Not a single person in my daily life knows about this either. I have never lied about it, but nor have I ever told about it. Don't have to lie if you don't ever get caught right?
In my head, I am invincible. Nothing bad can happen, and as proven, I can stop if need be. Hat tip to those on this site for their contributions. Everything they say to expect after quitting is certainly true. Days 8+ has been the most difficult, however there is a clear objective here so I must continue. I hope this story someway helps someone else know that maybe, just maybe there is someone else out there with the same history. Thanks for this site, and the stories. Now, back to the soda, Excedrin and stupid MF'n sunflower seeds.
yeah so what's your point?
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Your story is sad and pathetic ....selfish prick cares about no one else including wife and kids. Quiting is a daily commitment repeated EVERY 24 HOURS. You have not shown you can quit.only take a break.
None of our stories are different prior to quitting. Post roll every day and see what it means to quit.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
Wow. Not even close to my intention. Please close/delete this thread then. I will be on my way. GL to all.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
agreed - if that's your story. You will be dipping as you drive away from the lab test. We are here to quit, not just short term but long term. I loved dipping but not enough to kill my self anymore. I quit for me. I want to see my kids grown, I want to meet my grandkids.
So if you are quitting for good, then great post up. If not, go to a quit lite site, or post over at us tobacco.
I hope you quit for good
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
Wow. Not even close to my intention. Please close/delete this thread then. I will be on my way. GL to all.
Bye.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
Wow. Not even close to my intention. Please close/delete this thread then. I will be on my way. GL to all.
Don't give me that boo hoo crap. You'll be back to look at this. Too much too learn here to delete it.
Don't think for a second that something like this would go overlooked. You said you did some reading. Or did you only do enough reading to keep you quit for 28 days?
What is your intention? I'm dying to know.
Our intention is to stay quit.
Why don't you join us?
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Nice work quoting that FTK, he tried to delete his post.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
Wow. Not even close to my intention. Please close/delete this thread then. I will be on my way. GL to all.
Wow... you are free to go back to fucking your dad in the ass now with a fatty in.
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Here's the point.
You are going to use us and this site until you can pass your life insurance policy piss test? Then you are going to go cram you face full of dip. Nice, really fucking nice.
We aren't here for people trying to quit for an insurance policy. For you to even put this crap in here is completely insulting to people that are fighting to stay quit.
To us, this IS life and death.
If you want to quit, we are here. If you are just taking a break....run along.
Wow. Not even close to my intention. Please close/delete this thread then. I will be on my way. GL to all.
Wow... you are free to go back to fucking your dad in the ass now with a fatty in.
'bang head'
duh .................just duh, you should meet my buddy Darwin He'd wanna give you an award. If the Excedrin doesn't kill you , ( think kidney failure on a massive scale) the dip WILL. Does your doctor have Fisher Price written on his Stethoscope? You can't actually be this dumb can you?
On another note - as addicts we all would have said we loved our chew. Google "I love Heroin" and see what you find. Your no different than any other junkie. The only difference between you and a crack head giving $5 dollar blow jobs behind the Wiggly Mart is your choice of drugs and MAYBE that you don't blow dudes behind the grocery store. Your an addict , its that simple.
Don't think so?
ever feel panic when you can't find your tin?
The planning so you don't run out?
The extra stops all the time so you can pick up your fix?
Ever actually buy a bottled water or a coke just so you could dump it out for a spitter?
Ever avoid a social situation where you couldn't smoke or chew?
Ever lie to anyone about how much you dip?
Ever " borrow" money from your wife or kid to buy a tin?
When you fly do you buy a bottled water before you get on the plane so you have a spitter?
How many stained carpets? Cancer scares? toothaches? sore gums? damaged relationships? lies?
Yeah ...... so anyway, Darwin wants to know how on earth you slipped thru the cracks?
sM
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YIKES..... that's all I can say on that.
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Here's the thing Mr. O all these people with their replies to you wheather you think they are good or bad they are here to help you. If you decide you truly want to quit all you have to do is ask for help and we are here for you. I know you will see this because your last log in was after everyone else commented to you. If you want to quit and need someone to talk to pm me I will listen and hear what you have to say and if I can help I will or point you in the direction of someone else that can help ya.
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ever feel panic when you can't find your tin?
The planning so you don't run out?
The extra stops all the time so you can pick up your fix?
Ever actually buy a bottled water or a coke just so you could dump it out for a spitter?
Ever avoid a social situation where you couldn't smoke or chew?
Ever lie to anyone about how much you dip?
Ever " borrow" money from your wife or kid to buy a tin?
When you fly do you buy a bottled water before you get on the plane so you have a spitter?
How many stained carpets? Cancer scares? toothaches? sore gums? damaged relationships? lies?
Yeah ...... so anyway, Darwin wants to know how on earth you slipped thru the cracks?
sM
A Little of subject here but I just wanted to say what Skoal monster wrote here is the first time I really looked at my self as an addict. I know you were trying to get the point across to somone else but it sure hit home with me. Thanks--
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Hello. I wanted to tell my story to hopefully help someone else that may need it or maybe I am hoping that actually writing it out and sharing will help me in some way.
I started smoking at the age of 14. About a pack every two-three days. I never had an issue or a problem with it either. Actually, I liked it. Since going down to the gas station for smokes also involved soda. I started drinking soda by the gallon it seemed. (This will tie in later.)
Fast forward 4 years. Still smoking the same. Now I am 18 and in the work arena. My particular line of work is outside. Perfect. Still smoking. Problem now is, my body is so messed up from years of sports and stupidity. Could the smoking have played a part as well? Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, now I take approximately 12 - 15 Excedrin a day. I did work up to that amount as I didn't want to OD day 1.
+3ish Years. I end up having my first child. Hmmm, I think to myself. Time to quit smoking, as this can't possibly be a good thing around my child, so I did. Without smoking though, I got bored. Not sure how I started, but I did with smokeless tobacco about a month later. During this time I went through many different bizarre issues. Maybe it's because I gut it all the time. I had an indoor job at this time so spitting was not really an option
There came a time where for some odd reason it felt like someone was reaching into my back, grabbing my spine and twisting it. This went on for several months until one day I got tired of hearing all the Dr's say, I dunno, I went to the pharmacy and picked up one of everything for every symptom. Know what the problem was? Too much stomach acid. So, I needed an acid reducer. Problem solved. Attribute to dip? Probably, but problem solved so no worries.
As the years went on, I got the point of if I didn't have a dip in my mouth it was because I was eating or going to bed. However, the past few months have been one for bed, wake up in the morning and swap for a fresh one.
8 years total, I quit 15 days ago. Not because I wanted to either. I had to. You see, life insurance policies give a better rate if you are a non tobacco user. I already have a few policies in place, but not what they need to be with the amount of debt I have or would leave.
So, my only reason for quitting was to get a lower rate on life insurance. This will be my only term life insurance so dying in an accident would be the protection I am looking for. Honestly, I see myself picking up right were I left off once this plan is in place. Not a single person in my daily life knows about this either. I have never lied about it, but nor have I ever told about it. Don't have to lie if you don't ever get caught right?
In my head, I am invincible. Nothing bad can happen, and as proven, I can stop if need be. Hat tip to those on this site for their contributions. Everything they say to expect after quitting is certainly true. Days 8+ has been the most difficult, however there is a clear objective here so I must continue. I hope this story someway helps someone else know that maybe, just maybe there is someone else out there with the same history. Thanks for this site, and the stories. Now, back to the soda, Excedrin and stupid MF'n sunflower seeds.
yeah so what's your point?
You say you have never lied about it. BULLSHIT - you are lying to yourself every minute of every day. Tard!
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Mr. O,
I read your story. I wish I hadn't. You see, I have other things I need to do today but reading your story has forced me to comment. You obviously have no idea what it is we are doing in here. We are a community of bonafide bad-ass quitters.
Here's the deal, I don't think you knew this...so I will let you pass on that. Now you do. I think deep down you really want to quit for the long haul, you are just too afraid to even utter a sentence hinting at such. So you hide behind the comfort of knowing that you can go back to the stuff when this is all over. You are afraid to live a life without nicotine. And that is FINE! it is ok to be apprehensive about this, it is some tough stuff.
If you do decide that you ARE in this for the long haul, hit me up and I'll gladly support you.
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