KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dabean22 on August 05, 2013, 11:37:00 PM
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Holy crap, I'm 67% done and I'm getting excited. I wasn't supposed to get excited. Every other time I've tried to quit, it has loomed over my head weeks before the date and by the time I was ready to stop, I would already nearly be having a panic attack. But this time is different. This time, I actually want to stop early. The author of the e-book reminds me to keep smoking while reading the book but I'm so excited that I want to stop now. I follow his instructions and keep acting normal as I edge closer and closer to 100% on the Kindle app. I check the percentage almost every time I turn the page. The reading is getting better and better, preparing me for the change that I've committed to. I have 2 cigarettes left in my pack and I'm lighting one of them. At 78% done with the book, I now realize that I'm going to have to go out to my car and grab another pack from the carton in my car before this is over. I'm actually disappointed that I'll have more smoking in my future than that one cigarette left in my pack. In all previous attempts to quit smoking having the chance to add a few more cig's before letting go would have been a relief but now I just wanted to have that taste out of my mouth permanently and I was getting excited about the prospect kissing my wife after work deeply and passionately as I come in the door after work. I haven't done that for so many years because she isn't a smoker and a deep kiss isn't something she really enjoys unless I brush and use mouthwash and even then she'll sometimes let me know that the smell was still there.
But the time was getting closer. Allan had opened my eyes to things that I have been ignoring for years without wasting my time by reminding me of all the things I've known since my sister and I campaigned for our Dad to quit smoking about 30 years ago. I now understand that I am an addict, not just someone with a bad habit. I understand that nicotine does not fill the void, it creates it. I understand that there is a long list of reasons for being a non-smoker and I can't tell you how hard I laughed when reading chapter 21. (don's skip ahead, you'll get to it at the right time if you read it) I'm sure my neighbors thought I was crazy. In my own words, I have realized that as I feel the pangs of a "nic fit" that I am truly not wanting a cigarette.... I am wanting to get back to that normal feeling that being a non-smoker can feel like. A cigarette will not create a permanent peace in my chest, it will make me rest in peace. It is not a cigarette that will make that feeling go away. It is a combination of the certainty that I have ingested the last bit of poison that I will ever purposely consume combined with time. THAT is what will relieve me from the discomfort I will go thru. I had been brainwashed to believe that it is a cigarette that will keep me happy and calm but I know have opened my eyes to realize that my wife is happy and calm without smoking! I DON'T NEED THE CIGARETTE TO STAY CALM! Holy crap, I am ready. Why is this book not ending already. He has started trying to recruit me into his army of "quit smoking" specialists and spreading the word of his awesome book (he really thinks highly of his message). OK, now he's listing some phone numbers for help lines etc. I'm sure he'll get on to the final word and review the instructions one last time any mome........ um..... wait...... Did I just read that right....? I spark up. The book has ended. I am re-reading his instructions for the final cigarette and I follow them to the letter.
The first drag, was one like many others before it. The second, I really closed my eyes and focused on the taste and feeling I got. I remember very clearly that taste that I had conned myself into thinking was good. Man is that nasty. I remember the feeling in my chest as I wheezed out the third or 4th drag. I really focused on the way my chest felt. I took one last drag (I was barely more than 1/2 way finished) as a kind of tribute to the little monster inside me "getting a cigarette before execution". After that, I put the butt into an overflowing ashtray and proceed to text my sister (I love you LHG) and let her know that I have finally become a non-smoker for good. I take the next few minutes to find all of the crap that I will never need again and throw it all away. Obviously the butts but the ash trays as well (I'm the only smoker that visits my home). I go out to my car and smile as I notice I've got 3 packs left. I've never done this before but I enjoyed opening brand new packs, pulling out the cigarettes and holding them under running water as I tear the whole pack in half. Doing that 3 times with a smile on my face was a very new sensation to me. My family was tied up in their own business and didn't notice. I like it better that way because although I love my wife and would give my life for hers, I had to save my life for me. This wasn't about her or my wonderful stepson. It is about me and my decision to open my eyes and really see how I have been living. As I stand outside taking out the trash, I give something a try. I say out loud "I am a non-smoker" to see how it sounds coming out of my mouth. It makes me smile. It gives me a touch of confidence. It makes me stand up straighter. I feel good. No, I actually feel great.
I pull up the website my sister (thanks again LHG) has been telling me about. It's a bit clunky for my taste and not the thing I'm used to but from my sisters account, it has the power to save my life. I don't need the website. No, I'm a non-smoker for life. (calm down y'all) That the truth but I also know that, just because I am a non smoker, that doesn't mean that the next few weeks will be easy. Then it hits me. What if I'm wrong? What if I do need this place that makes me copy and paste a bunch of crap just to "post roll". What if I have a 90% chance of succeeding with the information from the book, but the website makes that 92% or 98%? Don't I owe it to myself past, present and future to take that extra step? I log in, introduce myself and, holy crap! people are excited to see me. Does my sister actually have that many people that like her on this website? That can't be it. It must be me! I'm that awesome and easy to like and people are excited to have me here! Wait, I know me. I'm not actually THAT awesome and no one has really had the chance to figure that out either. Holy Shit! These people are actually this interested in helping me because they simply know I need help. These people fucking rock! I'm being bombarded with well wishers and people happy that my sister finally got her little brother to get off his ass and quit already. They truly seemed proud of me for doing it. Proud..... I haven't felt that way in a while but I'm starting to remember what it was like to enjoy that feeling.
The night was a blur with live chat whipping in front of my eyes so fast, I could hardly keep up and also look at my first PM with someone giving me their phone number. (If I had only thought of THIS trick when I was 17 I would be rolling in the digits ^_^ ) One of these days I'll figure out how to bring up that PM and actually write down that persons name and number. At this point, it's a complete mystery. I was also directed by someone to "write a fucking intro already" or something to that effect. To that mystery person, I hope you are reading this........
For nearly 20 years, nicotine has told me what to do 10-30 times a day. It didn't take no for an answer. It demanded, and instructed without regard to my needs and wants. My answer was almost always "Yes sir, may I have another?" With that in mind, to that person that told me to write an intro so eloquently, I smile and tell you, "Go fuck yourself". I don't blindly take orders anymore. If I can say "no" to that little monster inside me that wants something it can no longer have, I can surely stand up to some pushy guy in a chat room. The irony of the fact that my reply is going here in my intro isn't lost on me but I didn't do the intro last night when he told me to so, I think I win. B)
As I write this, I was called upstairs to say goodnight to my wife. I am nearly 24 hours without nicotine. In past attempts, I become unhinged at hour 12-18 and thoroughly loose my shit for the next couple days until someone tells me to "go smoke". Tonight, as I kiss my wife goodnight, she tells me that I am in a better mood than I've been in a very long time. My mood has actually improved from when I was smoking. I am within the first 3 days of not smoking and somehow, miraculously my mood has actually improved? I tell you what, I have drank the cool-aide and let me tell you, it tastes good.
If there are any smokers out there (Sorry guys, LHG told me to post here instead of whackthepack. Blame her) that are having a hard time with it, PLEASE pick up his book immediately and read as fast as you can. If you have already quit but are being tempted, follow all of the rules except the one about smoking while reading the book. As I have mentioned in the first couple paragraphs, there are some very simple ideas in that book that opened my eyes to a truth that I've never been able to see. I know that as long as I have my head on straight, I will never crave a cigarette again. Nothing containing nicotine will ever tempt me again. I no longer crave nicotine..... I CRAVE FREEDOM!!!!!
For the last 24 hours, I have adopted two different methods for staying calm when I'm feeling "that" feeling.
1. I remind myself that there is a "little monster" and I am starving him out. I'm going to kill him for all the crap he did to me while making me feed him. He is going to die. Die mother fucker, die. It is not ME that has the want, it is him.
2. It is not the nicotine that I truly crave, it's the freedom from the withdrawal... a withdrawal that I've been feeling on and off for nearly 20 years. If I felt it 20 times a day for 20 years, I can surely put up with it for 45 times a day for 3 weeks.
I will never smoke again. I am a non-smoker. Thank God that my eyes have been opened and that I have friends here to make sure it stays that way.
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Nice "fucking" intro.
Own your quit.
Slay your craves.
Be Awesome.
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Nice "fucking" intro.
Own your quit.
Slay your craves.
Be Awesome.
Yup. Welcome in bro. This is the place to do it. You need anything pm me... Glad to quit with you!
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Very proud of you!
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So happy to have you join us. LHG has been waiting patiently for you to decide to quit. You already have a huge support system with D as your sis. We're all family here. Welcome, welcome, welcome!!
B)
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Awesome. Glad to see you post with us. Your sister is a bad ass quitter and can help you in many ways, but now you also have thousands of brothers and sisters here supporting you. I sent you my number in a pm, use it!!!! I quit with you.
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Wow, it's the start of day 3 and I had no idea how good it would feel to have thousands of strangers support me. Day 3 will be as easy as day 12 because I know that my cravings aren't really for nicotine at all but for the complete freedom from it. Day 4.....here I come.
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Awesome Intro Dabean22- Now make yourself proud and QLFEDD- drink up the KTC Kool-aide
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Radman, I should put a warning label on my intro..... The surgeon general recommends that anyone that wants to read this intro be committed completely to the cause. Starting to read this intro without complete commitment will likely lead to failure. Don't feel too bad man, we have all been there. What is it I've read several times already? What went wrong, how are you going to fix it, and what are you going to differently this time? Radman, You can do it. I'm there for you bro. Call me if your eyes get tired and I swear, I'll read it to you over the phone if that's what it takes to get you over that finish line. (Just in case it's not clear, I am making fun of myself and NOT the help everyone offers each other)
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.Â
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Awesome Intro Dabean22- Now make yourself proud and QLFEDD- drink up the KTC Kool-aide
QLFEDD... Quit Like Fuck E D D?
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.Â
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Awesome Intro Dabean22- Now make yourself proud and QLFEDD- drink up the KTC Kool-aide
QLFEDD... Quit Like Fuck E D D?
you got that right
Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.Â
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Awesome Intro Dabean22- Now make yourself proud and QLFEDD- drink up the KTC Kool-aide
QLFEDD... Quit Like Fuck E D D?
you got that right
Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day
Just remember depending on the messenger the KTC Kool Aide can be with or without sugar.
Great into, QUIT strong and take it one day at a time.
Baby Steps.
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.Â
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Awesome Intro Dabean22- Now make yourself proud and QLFEDD- drink up the KTC Kool-aide
QLFEDD... Quit Like Fuck E D D?
you got that right
Quit Like Fuck Every Damn Day
My days are no longer damned, now they are blessed!
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My days are no longer damned, now they are blessed!
I like this a lot. You're absolutely right. Great attitude.
Quit with you today, this hour, this minute.
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Quit on Quitter!!!! The Cliff note version is this......You are owning your quit and you will figure shit out on here like the rest of us have.......... You shoes I did once wear!!
HOlla if ya need a brother!!!
J
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
I read some, alot, most, well a little anyways. I had to book mark it to finish it later. Good stuff. Glad to have you in the water. It sounds like you jumped all in. Quit with you.
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
I read some, alot, most, well a little anyways. I had to book mark it to finish it later. Good stuff. Glad to have you in the water. It sounds like you jumped all in. Quit with you.
First day off since I stopped and it was harder than yesterday. Today while in the store I had 3 seperate occasions where I said "Man i gotta remember to buy cigarettes" like the quit never happened. I didnt even finish the thought before i remembered and smiled because that money is mine to keep now but it still happened 3 times in 5 minutes. Damn this shit has some mean tricks up its sleeves.
I quit with all of you every day! Thank everyone.
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
I read some, alot, most, well a little anyways. I had to book mark it to finish it later. Good stuff. Glad to have you in the water. It sounds like you jumped all in. Quit with you.
First day off since I stopped and it was harder than yesterday. Today while in the store I had 3 seperate occasions where I said "Man i gotta remember to buy cigarettes" like the quit never happened. I didnt even finish the thought before i remembered and smiled because that money is mine to keep now but it still happened 3 times in 5 minutes. Damn this shit has some mean tricks up its sleeves.
I quit with all of you every day! Thank everyone.
You ain't seen nothing yet, bro. Not saying there will be tougher trials than right now, but there will definitely be some crazy ones. Catalog them, and learn to be amused. There have been times when I actually laughed at myself because of the desperate attempts to draw me back to the can. A person learns a lot about their own personality while walking the quit path.
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That was freaking epic!! Honestly, I didn't even read the whole thing. I'm supposed to be working, after all. Will there be a Cliff's Notes version?
Anyway, for me, all that matters is that you are here and there is no nicotine in your plan for the next 24 hours.Â
Yes, the site is clunky in some ways. You'll figure it out eventually. LHG or any of us can answer questions about that. You wanna PM somebody? Click on their screen name, then over on the right will be an link to send a message. Easy.
I very rarely do chat.... simply because of what you described. Makes me crazy trying to keep up.
Let me know if you need anything.
Radman, I should put a warning label on my intro..... The surgeon general recommends that anyone that wants to read this intro be committed completely to the cause. Starting to read this intro without complete commitment will likely lead to failure. Don't feel too bad man, we have all been there. What is it I've read several times already? What went wrong, how are you going to fix it, and what are you going to differently this time? Radman, You can do it. I'm there for you bro. Call me if your eyes get tired and I swear, I'll read it to you over the phone if that's what it takes to get you over that finish line. (Just in case it's not clear, I am making fun of myself and NOT the help everyone offers each other)
My name is Rad, and I'm an addict...... I can't stop reading this guy's bullshit. lol
Rich stuff, man. I wasn't sure where you were going with this post, but it was certainly entertaining. You're putting effort into this, and that is how you win. Stay involved and keep fighting.
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At the vet with my dog (throwing up difficulty breathing). Been sitting here for an hour waiting for some good news. She'll be OK it seems but they still don't know what's wrong. Taking the day off to make sure she keeps her pills down. With the stress, im surprised that im not loosing my mind. Im expecting some tough cravings when I get home. Im ready. BRING IT ON LITTLE MONSTER. IM READY FOR YOU. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!
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At the vet with my dog (throwing up difficulty breathing). Been sitting here for an hour waiting for some good news. She'll be OK it seems but they still don't know what's wrong. Taking the day off to make sure she keeps her pills down. With the stress, im surprised that im not loosing my mind. Im expecting some tough cravings when I get home. Im ready. BRING IT ON LITTLE MONSTER. IM READY FOR YOU. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!
Starve that Bitch! Hope your dog gets better! Keep your head up!
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At the vet with my dog (throwing up difficulty breathing). Been sitting here for an hour waiting for some good news. She'll be OK it seems but they still don't know what's wrong. Taking the day off to make sure she keeps her pills down. With the stress, im surprised that im not loosing my mind. Im expecting some tough cravings when I get home. Im ready. BRING IT ON LITTLE MONSTER. IM READY FOR YOU. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!
Starve that Bitch! Hope your dog gets better! Keep your head up!
Remember that nicotine won't help your dog one bit. Only turn u into a slave again. Stay strong today. Hope the pooch is ok. Quit with u.
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
I read some, alot, most, well a little anyways. I had to book mark it to finish it later. Good stuff. Glad to have you in the water. It sounds like you jumped all in. Quit with you.
First day off since I stopped and it was harder than yesterday. Today while in the store I had 3 seperate occasions where I said "Man i gotta remember to buy cigarettes" like the quit never happened. I didnt even finish the thought before i remembered and smiled because that money is mine to keep now but it still happened 3 times in 5 minutes. Damn this shit has some mean tricks up its sleeves.
I quit with all of you every day! Thank everyone.
You ain't seen nothing yet, bro. Not saying there will be tougher trials than right now, but there will definitely be some crazy ones. Catalog them, and learn to be amused. There have been times when I actually laughed at myself because of the desperate attempts to draw me back to the can. A person learns a lot about their own personality while walking the quit path.
I'm sure you all remember (or still do) the addict patdown as you are leaving home/car/work/etc. You know, where you slap all your pockets to see if you have your can (and secondarily your wallet and keys).
I mostly lost that behavior sometime around 200-300 days, but I still occasionally do it. Makes me laugh every time I do it now....
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Tremendous intro! Welcome and I have no doubt you have support coming out of your ears. Holler if I can help...
I read some, alot, most, well a little anyways. I had to book mark it to finish it later. Good stuff. Glad to have you in the water. It sounds like you jumped all in. Quit with you.
First day off since I stopped and it was harder than yesterday. Today while in the store I had 3 seperate occasions where I said "Man i gotta remember to buy cigarettes" like the quit never happened. I didnt even finish the thought before i remembered and smiled because that money is mine to keep now but it still happened 3 times in 5 minutes. Damn this shit has some mean tricks up its sleeves.
I quit with all of you every day! Thank everyone.
You ain't seen nothing yet, bro. Not saying there will be tougher trials than right now, but there will definitely be some crazy ones. Catalog them, and learn to be amused. There have been times when I actually laughed at myself because of the desperate attempts to draw me back to the can. A person learns a lot about their own personality while walking the quit path.
I'm sure you all remember (or still do) the addict patdown as you are leaving home/car/work/etc. You know, where you slap all your pockets to see if you have your can (and secondarily your wallet and keys).
I mostly lost that behavior sometime around 200-300 days, but I still occasionally do it. Makes me laugh every time I do it now....
My father will still tap his chest after a meal from time to time (to check for his pack in the breast pocket of his shirt). He quit about 27 years ago.
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At the vet with my dog (throwing up difficulty breathing). Been sitting here for an hour waiting for some good news. She'll be OK it seems but they still don't know what's wrong. Taking the day off to make sure she keeps her pills down. With the stress, im surprised that im not loosing my mind. Im expecting some tough cravings when I get home. Im ready. BRING IT ON LITTLE MONSTER. IM READY FOR YOU. YOU'RE GONNA DIE!
Starve that Bitch! Hope your dog gets better! Keep your head up!
Remember that nicotine won't help your dog one bit. Only turn u into a slave again. Stay strong today. Hope the pooch is ok. Quit with u.
Man I hate that but trust me it won't help you. And remember you only have to get thru today bro. I know it hurts to be where you are. You will get thru it cause your bad ass posted roll and your a man of your word! I quit with you. Call or text if you need anything even if its just to cuss me out!
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
'clap'
you have experienced one of the keys of the site here. Brotherhood....we are there for one another....
great going....you got this.
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.Â
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
'clap'
you have experienced one of the keys of the site here. Brotherhood....we are there for one another....
great going....you got this.
Did I hear that right?? 4 Days, you haven't went down to the corner store and spent your hard earned money on the poison.
That means your clean brother.
Here's what you need to do. Take a plane to the Himalayas. There is this mountain there called mount Everest,, you've heard of this, right? Make sure you take some climbing gear and some air tanks. I've heard it can be real hard to breathe up there. I haven't personally made the journey yet. This is not about me though,, it's about you. Start climbing brother. When you get to the top take a good look. Take a good look at the world without nicotine running through your veins, desensitizing your feelings and obstructing your vision. Freedom brother, smell it taste it and feel it. We were not meant to be lead around by a weed.
Now if mount Everest is a little to high for you, maybe a little to far, well,, just step outside your front door same thing. Glad to be quit with you.......
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.Â
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
'clap'
you have experienced one of the keys of the site here. Brotherhood....we are there for one another....
great going....you got this.
Did I hear that right?? 4 Days, you haven't went down to the corner store and spent your hard earned money on the poison.
That means your clean brother.
Here's what you need to do. Take a plane to the Himalayas. There is this mountain there called mount Everest,, you've heard of this, right? Make sure you take some climbing gear and some air tanks. I've heard it can be real hard to breathe up there. I haven't personally made the journey yet. This is not about me though,, it's about you. Start climbing brother. When you get to the top take a good look. Take a good look at the world without nicotine running through your veins, desensitizing your feelings and obstructing your vision. Freedom brother, smell it taste it and feel it. We were not meant to be lead around by a weed.
Now if mount Everest is a little to high for you, maybe a little to far, well,, just step outside your front door same thing. Glad to be quit with you.......
Holy Crap! How did I not notice that I've been 72 hours without the nasty weed. Tomorrow morning will be the first morning I'll wake up with no nicotine in my system. Fuck Yeah!!!
Step 1. Complete
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.Â
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
'clap'
you have experienced one of the keys of the site here. Brotherhood....we are there for one another....
great going....you got this.
Did I hear that right?? 4 Days, you haven't went down to the corner store and spent your hard earned money on the poison.
That means your clean brother.
Here's what you need to do. Take a plane to the Himalayas. There is this mountain there called mount Everest,, you've heard of this, right? Make sure you take some climbing gear and some air tanks. I've heard it can be real hard to breathe up there. I haven't personally made the journey yet. This is not about me though,, it's about you. Start climbing brother. When you get to the top take a good look. Take a good look at the world without nicotine running through your veins, desensitizing your feelings and obstructing your vision. Freedom brother, smell it taste it and feel it. We were not meant to be lead around by a weed.
Now if mount Everest is a little to high for you, maybe a little to far, well,, just step outside your front door same thing. Glad to be quit with you.......
Holy Crap! How did I not notice that I've been 72 hours without the nasty weed. Tomorrow morning will be the first morning I'll wake up with no nicotine in my system. Fuck Yeah!!!
Step 1. Complete
THATS RIGHT BRUTHA! YOU DABOMB..KABOOM! QUAKCK! QUACK!
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I just got out of a meeting with a contractor friend that I always smoked with during our meetings in the past. I stood there 3' from him while he smoked. It was the first smell of smoke I've had since my last cig. I was really worried. I was practically scared. I almost asked him not to smoke.Â
I didn't need to worry. I was calm and cool. I can't believe that my first real test went so well. I think Philly80 helped a ton. He texted me out of the blue to introduce himself. I was able to voice my concern and he was able to reassure me before the meeting. Philly80 and all the others that have been building me up over the last 4 days, Thank you.
'clap'
you have experienced one of the keys of the site here. Brotherhood....we are there for one another....
great going....you got this.
Did I hear that right?? 4 Days, you haven't went down to the corner store and spent your hard earned money on the poison.
That means your clean brother.
Here's what you need to do. Take a plane to the Himalayas. There is this mountain there called mount Everest,, you've heard of this, right? Make sure you take some climbing gear and some air tanks. I've heard it can be real hard to breathe up there. I haven't personally made the journey yet. This is not about me though,, it's about you. Start climbing brother. When you get to the top take a good look. Take a good look at the world without nicotine running through your veins, desensitizing your feelings and obstructing your vision. Freedom brother, smell it taste it and feel it. We were not meant to be lead around by a weed.
Now if mount Everest is a little to high for you, maybe a little to far, well,, just step outside your front door same thing. Glad to be quit with you.......
Holy Crap! How did I not notice that I've been 72 hours without the nasty weed. Tomorrow morning will be the first morning I'll wake up with no nicotine in my system. Fuck Yeah!!!
Step 1. Complete
THATS RIGHT BRUTHA! YOU DABOMB..KABOOM! QUAKCK! QUACK!
Beautiful, man.... absolutely perfect use of the tools here.
There will come a time in the not-too-distant future when you will feel a great deal of disgust for the cig your friend is smoking, while also feeling pity for your friend. That's when your quit gets real good, and you can stand there and enjoy feeling like a badass.
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Today was the first entire day, sunup to sundown, that I didnt have any leftover nicotine in my system and I feel great. No, I feel awesome! Im getting ready to hop in the car for a 4 he drive from Philly to Manchester, CT and im actually looking forward to it, not dreading it. I love knowing that if I have any crave, major or minor, I have 14 phone numbers to call and I have hem all on speed dial. I quit with November today. (We really need to start working on a name)
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Today was the first entire day, sunup to sundown, that I didnt have any leftover nicotine in my system and I feel great. No, I feel awesome! Im getting ready to hop in the car for a 4 he drive from Philly to Manchester, CT and im actually looking forward to it, not dreading it. I love knowing that if I have any crave, major or minor, I have 14 phone numbers to call and I have hem all on speed dial. I quit with November today. (We really need to start working on a name)
Ina side note, I finally get to break out my bow for the first time in years. Fishing pole too. A weekend get away with my best friend, an absolute supporter of my quit. It's looking like a really good weekend.
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Today was the first entire day, sunup to sundown, that I didnt have any leftover nicotine in my system and I feel great. No, I feel awesome! Im getting ready to hop in the car for a 4 he drive from Philly to Manchester, CT and im actually looking forward to it, not dreading it. I love knowing that if I have any crave, major or minor, I have 14 phone numbers to call and I have hem all on speed dial. I quit with November today. (We really need to start working on a name)
Ina side note, I finally get to break out my bow for the first time in years. Fishing pole too. A weekend get away with my best friend, an absolute supporter of my quit. It's looking like a really good weekend.
Now, enjoy your life, Nic Free , Glad to be quit with you!
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Today was the first entire day, sunup to sundown, that I didnt have any leftover nicotine in my system and I feel great. No, I feel awesome! Im getting ready to hop in the car for a 4 he drive from Philly to Manchester, CT and im actually looking forward to it, not dreading it. I love knowing that if I have any crave, major or minor, I have 14 phone numbers to call and I have hem all on speed dial. I quit with November today. (We really need to start working on a name)
Ina side note, I finally get to break out my bow for the first time in years. Fishing pole too. A weekend get away with my best friend, an absolute supporter of my quit. It's looking like a really good weekend.
Now, enjoy your life, Nic Free , Glad to be quit with you!
Enjoy your weekend bro. What a good thing to be connected with you today. Peace.
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So I spent the weekend in NH with my best friend. We've been friends since 10 years old and we know each other very well. He and everyone there is completely nic free and it's in the middle of nowhere so the possibility of caving was completely removed from the situation. That being said, when the possibility of caving was removed, I noticed that the cravings were completely removed as well. I was able to go fishing at 6:00 am on a quiet lake, be the only one out there, enjoy the repetitive action of casting, let my mind wander and wonder and the only thing I wanted was another bite on the line and to have remembered to bring coffee with me on the boat. I didn't even notice until that evening that I hadn't had a single crave.
That was a big moment for me. Noticing that I went fishing without a crave made me realize that I have completed step 2 in my mind.
Step 1. Get the nicotine out of your system by remaining nic free for 3 days.
Step 2. Continue until you can do everyday things without thinking about a cigarette at every turn. (starting to live my life)
Now step 3 will be when I go an entire 24 hour period without a crave. That may be a while but I have the rest of my life to get there.
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Something I said in a PM that really rang true. I wanted to share it for others that may benefit from this point of view.
"I had a plan. (not sure if you knew this but I'm a ex-smoker that hijacked your site) I read the book by Allen Carr "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". I smoked while reading the book (as per his instructions) and at the end, I put out my last cigarette and never looked back. It was never a question of "how long can I last without a cigarette?", it was only "I'm done, now I can move on with my life". They aren't lying when they say quitting smoking is 90% mental and 10% physical (OK, I just made that up but it's what I think) I have had a few pangs over the last 10 days but every time I feel like I have a crave, I remind myself of all the advantages smoking has (none), I remind myself that before smoking, I didn't need nicotine. I'm getting my body back to that point. I remind myself that It's not my body craving that nicotine (that ends after day 3) but it's my mind simply playing tricks on me. The crave really doesn't exist. Stop fearing the monster under the bed and just get on with your life and start living it. When you tap your back pocket, make sure to smile and happily say, "Isn't it awesome that I don't depend on that vile weed any more". When you look for an empty bottle in the truck, say "It rocks that I no longer have to waste my time keeping up with that useless habit".
I'm not kidding. Say this crap out loud. "Isn't it great that....." whatever it is that you find great. Every crave will become a positive experience faster than you expect and you will be moving on, not living in the past.
It's time to move on, I know I have. Like the new November name says... The first step is a big one but that's where the fun begins. "SkyDivers" don't turn around and look back at the plane, they look forward to a wild trip that they have prepared for. You have about 50 of us acting as your parachute. Look down and enjoy the ride. We've got your back."
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Something I said in a PM that really rang true. I wanted to share it for others that may benefit from this point of view.
"I had a plan. (not sure if you knew this but I'm a ex-smoker that hijacked your site) I read the book by Allen Carr "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". I smoked while reading the book (as per his instructions) and at the end, I put out my last cigarette and never looked back. It was never a question of "how long can I last without a cigarette?", it was only "I'm done, now I can move on with my life". They aren't lying when they say quitting smoking is 90% mental and 10% physical (OK, I just made that up but it's what I think) I have had a few pangs over the last 10 days but every time I feel like I have a crave, I remind myself of all the advantages smoking has (none), I remind myself that before smoking, I didn't need nicotine. I'm getting my body back to that point. I remind myself that It's not my body craving that nicotine (that ends after day 3) but it's my mind simply playing tricks on me. The crave really doesn't exist. Stop fearing the monster under the bed and just get on with your life and start living it. When you tap your back pocket, make sure to smile and happily say, "Isn't it awesome that I don't depend on that vile weed any more". When you look for an empty bottle in the truck, say "It rocks that I no longer have to waste my time keeping up with that useless habit".
I'm not kidding. Say this crap out loud. "Isn't it great that....." whatever it is that you find great. Every crave will become a positive experience faster than you expect and you will be moving on, not living in the past.
It's time to move on, I know I have. Like the new November name says... The first step is a big one but that's where the fun begins. "SkyDivers" don't turn around and look back at the plane, they look forward to a wild trip that they have prepared for. You have about 50 of us acting as your parachute. Look down and enjoy the ride. We've got your back."
Hey dabeen... I read that book early in my quit on the recommendation of Skoal Monster. Good read and it helped my resolve. I love your attitude. Keep killin your quit brother!!!
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Something I said in a PM that really rang true. I wanted to share it for others that may benefit from this point of view.
"I had a plan. (not sure if you knew this but I'm a ex-smoker that hijacked your site) I read the book by Allen Carr "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". I smoked while reading the book (as per his instructions) and at the end, I put out my last cigarette and never looked back. It was never a question of "how long can I last without a cigarette?", it was only "I'm done, now I can move on with my life". They aren't lying when they say quitting smoking is 90% mental and 10% physical (OK, I just made that up but it's what I think) I have had a few pangs over the last 10 days but every time I feel like I have a crave, I remind myself of all the advantages smoking has (none), I remind myself that before smoking, I didn't need nicotine. I'm getting my body back to that point. I remind myself that It's not my body craving that nicotine (that ends after day 3) but it's my mind simply playing tricks on me. The crave really doesn't exist. Stop fearing the monster under the bed and just get on with your life and start living it. When you tap your back pocket, make sure to smile and happily say, "Isn't it awesome that I don't depend on that vile weed any more". When you look for an empty bottle in the truck, say "It rocks that I no longer have to waste my time keeping up with that useless habit".
I'm not kidding. Say this crap out loud. "Isn't it great that....." whatever it is that you find great. Every crave will become a positive experience faster than you expect and you will be moving on, not living in the past.
It's time to move on, I know I have. Like the new November name says... The first step is a big one but that's where the fun begins. "SkyDivers" don't turn around and look back at the plane, they look forward to a wild trip that they have prepared for. You have about 50 of us acting as your parachute. Look down and enjoy the ride. We've got your back."
Hey dabeen... I read that book early in my quit on the recommendation of Skoal Monster. Good read and it helped my resolve. I love your attitude. Keep killin your quit brother!!!
Sods like someone gets it :D
Keep on quittin'.
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I just stepped out of a store to someone standing there on a smoke break. So much happened in the next 10 seconds it's almost like it was in slow motion.
I looked at her and immediately felt pity for her because she was still shackled to a freaking weed.
I wondered if I should say something to her like "Wouldn't you love it if you could just wake up tomorrow and be a non-smoker?" (she looked mean and pissed off so I decided against it)
I smelled the cigarette and realized.... "Holy Shit, I've been subjecting strangers to my smoke smell for nearly 20 years with barely a thought beyond.... "I can't smoke inside so screw you, you are going to smell my cigarette when you leave the building". I was a dick.
It smelled good. Real good. (wait for it) I walked about 15 feet away all along wondering if my quit was really as solid as I've led my self to believe. I knew, even as I still enjoyed the smell of the cigarette, that I didn't want one but for a moment, I wondered if it would ever be able to tempt me in the future. Then it happened.
I walked behind a big diesel pickup truck idling and smelled that exhaust. I noticed how strangely similar they were and it clicked. I've gotten used to the smell of poison and trained my brain to like it. I know some people when they quit smoking, absolutely hate the smell. I don't believe that I'll be one of those people. My dad had a diesel pickup when I was a kid and that smell brings me back to some really good memories.
I walked away from there with a smile on my face. I have never ever looked for a diesel truck and stuck my mouth on the tale pipe to bring those memories back. I have no reason to feel like I need to fear the fact that the smell of a cigarette doesn't disgust me. It just means that I can be around a smoker from time to time without acting like I'm grossed out (unless I want to fuck with them). I have no idea if this is a healthy attitude or stupid reasoning but it's just the way I felt at the time. Tested (with a small crave) but happy that it's gone from my life.
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I just stepped out of a store to someone standing there on a smoke break. So much happened in the next 10 seconds it's almost like it was in slow motion.
I looked at her and immediately felt pity for her because she was still shackled to a freaking weed.
I wondered if I should say something to her like "Wouldn't you love it if you could just wake up tomorrow and be a non-smoker?" (she looked mean and pissed off so I decided against it)
I smelled the cigarette and realized.... "Holy Shit, I've been subjecting strangers to my smoke smell for nearly 20 years with barely a thought beyond.... "I can't smoke inside so screw you, you are going to smell my cigarette when you leave the building". I was a dick.
It smelled good. Real good. (wait for it) I walked about 15 feet away all along wondering if my quit was really as solid as I've led my self to believe. I knew, even as I still enjoyed the smell of the cigarette, that I didn't want one but for a moment, I wondered if it would ever be able to tempt me in the future. Then it happened.
I walked behind a big diesel pickup truck idling and smelled that exhaust. I noticed how strangely similar they were and it clicked. I've gotten used to the smell of poison and trained my brain to like it. I know some people when they quit smoking, absolutely hate the smell. I don't believe that I'll be one of those people. My dad had a diesel pickup when I was a kid and that smell brings me back to some really good memories.
I walked away from there with a smile on my face. I have never ever looked for a diesel truck and stuck my mouth on the tale pipe to bring those memories back. I have no reason to feel like I need to fear the fact that the smell of a cigarette doesn't disgust me. It just means that I can be around a smoker from time to time without acting like I'm grossed out (unless I want to fuck with them). I have no idea if this is a healthy attitude or stupid reasoning but it's just the way I felt at the time. Tested (with a small crave) but happy that it's gone from my life.
Good job realizing the truths brother. You are starting to uncover the lies daily.
Screw the Smell. You will eventually hate the Smell. It is the smell of slavery and death. Screw the way it looks, smells and feels. I can't stand anything about the poison. It fuels my quit. Join me brother. SCREW THE POISON!!! Glad to be quit with you.
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I was going to throw you a text today, just to check on you but wasn't sure about your text plan, you get unlimited yet? Have a good weekend, no nic, no suckin' on tailpipes...
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I was going to throw you a text today, just to check on you but wasn't sure about your text plan, you get unlimited yet? Have a good weekend, no nic, no suckin' on tailpipes...
Thanks for thinking of me brother. I can't tell you how much it helps knowing that there are so many people that would happily hold me accountable if I missed roll. I wish that I didn't have to work so I could keep up with everyone here.
OK, here's an invitation to the people at KTC. Contact me if you can pay someone to stay on the site. I wan a job with KTC.
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I was going to throw you a text today, just to check on you but wasn't sure about your text plan, you get unlimited yet? Have a good weekend, no nic, no suckin' on tailpipes...
Thanks for thinking of me brother. I can't tell you how much it helps knowing that there are so many people that would happily hold me accountable if I missed roll. I wish that I didn't have to work so I could keep up with everyone here.
OK, here's an invitation to the people at KTC. Contact me if you can pay someone to stay on the site. I wan a job with KTC.
you got one, you just don't know it yet and you won't get any sort of cash payment. Don't worry it's not like you've got to put in 40 hours a week, over the weeks the hours will add up though!
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I was going to throw you a text today, just to check on you but wasn't sure about your text plan, you get unlimited yet? Have a good weekend, no nic, no suckin' on tailpipes...
Thanks for thinking of me brother. I can't tell you how much it helps knowing that there are so many people that would happily hold me accountable if I missed roll. I wish that I didn't have to work so I could keep up with everyone here.
OK, here's an invitation to the people at KTC. Contact me if you can pay someone to stay on the site. I wan a job with KTC.
you got one, you just don't know it yet and you won't get any sort of cash payment. Don't worry it's not like you've got to put in 40 hours a week, over the weeks the hours will add up though!
I've spent over 16 hours on the website since Monday. I want my $2! Oh wait, I saved over $30 since Monday. Ok, I'll cash that check any day of the week.
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I was going to throw you a text today, just to check on you but wasn't sure about your text plan, you get unlimited yet? Have a good weekend, no nic, no suckin' on tailpipes...
Thanks for thinking of me brother. I can't tell you how much it helps knowing that there are so many people that would happily hold me accountable if I missed roll. I wish that I didn't have to work so I could keep up with everyone here.
OK, here's an invitation to the people at KTC. Contact me if you can pay someone to stay on the site. I wan a job with KTC.
you got one, you just don't know it yet and you won't get any sort of cash payment. Don't worry it's not like you've got to put in 40 hours a week, over the weeks the hours will add up though!
I've spent over 16 hours on the website since Monday. I want my $2! Oh wait, I saved over $30 since Monday. Ok, I'll cash that check any day of the week.
We need a "Like button" emoticon.
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I really hope that this time I can make it..... This time im going to try as hard as I can...... We have all heard this said many times. I've only been here for 18 days and I've heard it more than I would like. I've started using a different analogy when people talk like that.
"Think about the worst thing you could possibly do. I mean that thing that would never even enter the realm of possibility in your head. Now think of something that would be 5x worse than that. You got it? You dot even want to say it out loud do you? I know I don't but here goes any way. When I say that "I have quit nicotine", I say it with the same confidence that I say "I will not kill my puppy with a baseball bat". It is not that I am pretty sure I wont do it. I know that no matter what, I will NEVER do eithor one of those things. If you can find your horrible thing and say that the way I did, YOU my brother or sister know the real definition of quit. If you can't make the connection, you are simply trying to stop. That may last but likely wont. You need complete conviction and clarity of mind. After you have that, there is nothing left but to deal with some temporary cravings and then move on with your life. I don't need to tell you to remind you to protect your quit any more than I need to remind you to not hit your puppy with a bat. You will instinctively protect your quit.
I QLFEDD with November. We jump and dont look back.
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Sounds like your mindset has evolved from a simple QLF EDD into the big picture NAFAR! Never Again For Any Reason! Lots of newbs have a hard time wrapping their minds around that concept, and luckily EDD works just fine, but NAFAR is the inevitable outcome for any true quit. We are addicts and just one hit of nicotine will be enough to bring us back to day 1. I sure as hell do not want to go back to the first days of quit ever again, and I think you don't either. Proud to quit with you.
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In the past, today would have been when I relapsed. Today was a bitch. The list is long and mostly lame problems and there are a couple larger ones but the real problem was the nic bitch making the problems look solvable with a cigarette. I can't believe that with all I now know that it would be possible for that thought to enter my head.
I finished the weed wacking (all the while talking under my breath and punishing any stray weed like it was the creator of my stress). I put away the equipment and as im still steaming mad i think "Damn, a cigarette would feel really good right now". I actually had that complete thought. Imediately I realised what has been going on all these years as i had made lame "attempts to quit". In the past, I would be stressed out all day as i always wanted another cigarette and then when real stress was added on top of it, a cigarette would actually relieve some stress. The trick was that it didnt release any of the external stress at all but only relieved the stress that nicotine itself caused in the first place. If i had a cigarette right now, it wouldn't relieve any stress at all right now and wouldn't taste good, and would in fact only bring 100x more stress into my life.
THIS IS THE LIE OF THE NIC BITCH...... Your stress will be relieved if you use nicotine. That is a lie. After you have removed that poison from your system (3 days) more nicotine won't relieve your stress, it will reintroduce the stress back into your life that it brings.
I think I'm repeating myself here so I'll wrap it up. My quit is solid because I know I will never smoke again.... Ever. That does not mean that I will never have moments of confusion. I do not feel weak because of that, I feel strong because I know that I am prepaired to SHUT THAT BITCH DOWN.
NAFAR
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In the past, today would have been when I relapsed. Today was a bitch. The list is long and mostly lame problems and there are a couple larger ones but the real problem was the nic bitch making the problems look solvable with a cigarette. I can't believe that with all I now know that it would be possible for that thought to enter my head.
I finished the weed wacking (all the while talking under my breath and punishing any stray weed like it was the creator of my stress). I put away the equipment and as im still steaming mad i think "Damn, a cigarette would feel really good right now". I actually had that complete thought. Imediately I realised what has been going on all these years as i had made lame "attempts to quit". In the past, I would be stressed out all day as i always wanted another cigarette and then when real stress was added on top of it, a cigarette would actually relieve some stress. The trick was that it didnt release any of the external stress at all but only relieved the stress that nicotine itself caused in the first place. If i had a cigarette right now, it wouldn't relieve any stress at all right now and wouldn't taste good, and would in fact only bring 100x more stress into my life.
THIS IS THE LIE OF THE NIC BITCH...... Your stress will be relieved if you use nicotine. That is a lie. After you have removed that poison from your system (3 days) more nicotine won't relieve your stress, it will reintroduce the stress back into your life that it brings.
I think I'm repeating myself here so I'll wrap it up. My quit is solid because I know I will never smoke again.... Ever. That does not mean that I will never have moments of confusion. I do not feel weak because of that, I feel strong because I know that I am prepaired to SHUT THAT BITCH DOWN.
NAFAR
You are badass my friend. Proud to be quit with you.
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There it is... Full on realization of the lie. Well done bro.
Proud of you, man :)
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A family is driving across the country to go to Disney World on a vacation. About half way there one of the children forgets his favorite toy behind at a rest stop. After another couple days of travel, the child realizes that it's missing and starts to have a temper tantrum. He wants to go back. The truth is that everyone understands the shock that the child is suffering. No one says, "Just forget about it and move on" in the first minutes of the kid discovering his lost toy. There is a grief period that anyone would expect the child to go thru. As he think about the missing toy, he continues to be sad/mad/frustrated/all of the above. He arrives in Disney World and barely takes the time to look up. He never bothers wiping his eyes to see any of the spectacles. He never looks up to see the Disney characters right in front of his face. He always says "NO" when asked if he wants to to on the ride with everyone else. In short, he is too focused on the one loss, to appreciate all the gain he could have and is having without even realizing it. This child will never appreciate the trip to Disney World.
Another boy in the same situation also goes thru the period of grief while he mourns the loss of his toy. He feels the pain of the separation between him and his favorite thing. Something that he couldn't think of life without. Something he doesn't ever think he can get over. Something that at times he thinks is the most important thing in the world. Something that..... and as this this boy takes the time to wipe his tears away he sees an amazing site. He now realizes that he is standing with his family in the happiest place on earth and his toy wouldn't have fit thru the gate. If he had his toy, he wouldn't be able to be in this incredible place if he had brought his toy (just work with me here, I know it's not perfect) He allows himself to enjoy his new surroundings. He doesn't forget about his toy but he realizes in that moment and every moment from then on that the value of the toy is dwarfed by the value of the place and experiences he's having. There are still moments when he wishes he could play with the toy (and those become less and less over time) but he knows that the only way to do that would be to leave this wonderful place with much better toys and get back in the car and go home.
Now comes the best news of all. His parents got jobs at Disney World and the children never need to leave. They get to spend the rest of their lives in this wondrous place. The child takes the time to ponder his old toy. What does he do then? Is he going to be the child that puts his face in his hands and cries for the rest of his life, or is he the one that smiles and thinks of the wonderful place he is now and allows the memory of the toy fade as time goes by.
OK the moral of the story is quite clear and I won't insult your intelligence by spelling it out beyond this one thing. In my life, I truly try to focus on the positive side of quitting every single time I feel a crave. I find that this reduces their power and allows me to actually start enjoying the craves as they come. This is because at every crave, I get to be reminded of some of the best reasons that I quit. If I simply said "this sucks" every time I felt a crave, I would be one miserable person.
Depending on how long you have been quit, you may still be in the initial shock of the quit. It's normal to pout and throw your "temper tantrum". Just make sure that you aren't already in Disney World and you still have your eyes focused on your old toy. Open your eyes. There is nothing that your old toy would ever do to make this new place better. If you stubbed your toe while walking, it wasn't caused because you didn't have your toy and it wouldn't feel better if you had the toy. It's just a stubbed toe. Don't let that pain make you ever feel like you need the new toy.
Enjoy living in Disney World for the rest of your life.
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A family is driving across the country to go to Disney World on a vacation. About half way there one of the children forgets his favorite toy behind at a rest stop. After another couple days of travel, the child realizes that it's missing and starts to have a temper tantrum. He wants to go back. The truth is that everyone understands the shock that the child is suffering. No one says, "Just forget about it and move on" in the first minutes of the kid discovering his lost toy. There is a grief period that anyone would expect the child to go thru. As he think about the missing toy, he continues to be sad/mad/frustrated/all of the above. He arrives in Disney World and barely takes the time to look up. He never bothers wiping his eyes to see any of the spectacles. He never looks up to see the Disney characters right in front of his face. He always says "NO" when asked if he wants to to on the ride with everyone else. In short, he is too focused on the one loss, to appreciate all the gain he could have and is having without even realizing it. This child will never appreciate the trip to Disney World.
Another boy in the same situation also goes thru the period of grief while he mourns the loss of his toy. He feels the pain of the separation between him and his favorite thing. Something that he couldn't think of life without. Something he doesn't ever think he can get over. Something that at times he thinks is the most important thing in the world. Something that..... and as this this boy takes the time to wipe his tears away he sees an amazing site. He now realizes that he is standing with his family in the happiest place on earth and his toy wouldn't have fit thru the gate. If he had his toy, he wouldn't be able to be in this incredible place if he had brought his toy (just work with me here, I know it's not perfect) He allows himself to enjoy his new surroundings. He doesn't forget about his toy but he realizes in that moment and every moment from then on that the value of the toy is dwarfed by the value of the place and experiences he's having. There are still moments when he wishes he could play with the toy (and those become less and less over time) but he knows that the only way to do that would be to leave this wonderful place with much better toys and get back in the car and go home.
Now comes the best news of all. His parents got jobs at Disney World and the children never need to leave. They get to spend the rest of their lives in this wondrous place. The child takes the time to ponder his old toy. What does he do then? Is he going to be the child that puts his face in his hands and cries for the rest of his life, or is he the one that smiles and thinks of the wonderful place he is now and allows the memory of the toy fade as time goes by.
OK the moral of the story is quite clear and I won't insult your intelligence by spelling it out beyond this one thing. In my life, I truly try to focus on the positive side of quitting every single time I feel a crave. I find that this reduces their power and allows me to actually start enjoying the craves as they come. This is because at every crave, I get to be reminded of some of the best reasons that I quit. If I simply said "this sucks" every time I felt a crave, I would be one miserable person.
Depending on how long you have been quit, you may still be in the initial shock of the quit. It's normal to pout and throw your "temper tantrum". Just make sure that you aren't already in Disney World and you still have your eyes focused on your old toy. Open your eyes. There is nothing that your old toy would ever do to make this new place better. If you stubbed your toe while walking, it wasn't caused because you didn't have your toy and it wouldn't feel better if you had the toy. It's just a stubbed toe. Don't let that pain make you ever feel like you need the new toy.
Enjoy living in Disney World for the rest of your life.
Thanks for taking the time to think of that parable type it all out. It really does put it all into perspective very well I think.
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There are a few people that have noticed that I'm not as active on this site as I used to be. I want to take a moment to re-assure anyone that is worried about me that I am doing very well. My quit is as strong as ever or stronger. I am still getting the occasional crave but at this point, I see them as more helpful than hurtful. They remind me that I am an addict. I need to keep taking the nicotine beast seriously. I will not let my guard down.
I have recently noticed how much time I spent on the website. It was pointed out to me by my wife that I actually spent more time on the site than I spent talking to her during the day. This bothered me. I would spend most of my lunch hour on my phone and at least an hour a day on the laptop before or after work. For me, this site was becoming a bit of an obsession. I am still here. I still post daily (100% poster) and I still read the others posts and text the people I am close to from time to time to check in on them. I simply decided that I will not spend quite as much time on the site as I normally did. This will probably increase or decrease as my free time changes but for now, I'm going to leave the daily grind of the page up to my brothers in November 13. Thanks for showing concern people. I really appreciate it.
NAFAR - and I truly mean that
DaBean22
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Good to see you are still around and reinvesting in some family time.
Proud of you buddy.
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There are a few people that have noticed that I'm not as active on this site as I used to be. I want to take a moment to re-assure anyone that is worried about me that I am doing very well. My quit is as strong as ever or stronger. I am still getting the occasional crave but at this point, I see them as more helpful than hurtful. They remind me that I am an addict. I need to keep taking the nicotine beast seriously. I will not let my guard down.
I have recently noticed how much time I spent on the website. It was pointed out to me by my wife that I actually spent more time on the site than I spent talking to her during the day. This bothered me. I would spend most of my lunch hour on my phone and at least an hour a day on the laptop before or after work. For me, this site was becoming a bit of an obsession. I am still here. I still post daily (100% poster) and I still read the others posts and text the people I am close to from time to time to check in on them. I simply decided that I will not spend quite as much time on the site as I normally did. This will probably increase or decrease as my free time changes but for now, I'm going to leave the daily grind of the page up to my brothers in November 13. Thanks for showing concern people. I really appreciate it.
NAFAR - and I truly mean that
DaBean22
It has happened before to others and it will happen again. Your number 1 duty is roll, anything beyond that is extra and appreciated.
Enjoy your quit! I quit with you
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There are a few people that have noticed that I'm not as active on this site as I used to be. I want to take a moment to re-assure anyone that is worried about me that I am doing very well. My quit is as strong as ever or stronger. I am still getting the occasional crave but at this point, I see them as more helpful than hurtful. They remind me that I am an addict. I need to keep taking the nicotine beast seriously. I will not let my guard down.Â
I have recently noticed how much time I spent on the website. It was pointed out to me by my wife that I actually spent more time on the site than I spent talking to her during the day. This bothered me. I would spend most of my lunch hour on my phone and at least an hour a day on the laptop before or after work. For me, this site was becoming a bit of an obsession. I am still here. I still post daily (100% poster) and I still read the others posts and text the people I am close to from time to time to check in on them. I simply decided that I will not spend quite as much time on the site as I normally did. This will probably increase or decrease as my free time changes but for now, I'm going to leave the daily grind of the page up to my brothers in November 13. Thanks for showing concern people. I really appreciate it.
NAFAR - and I truly mean that
DaBean22
It has happened before to others and it will happen again. Your number 1 duty is roll, anything beyond that is extra and appreciated.
Enjoy your quit! I quit with you
AGIAN...... THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS YOUR QUIT! WE ALL HAVE TIMES IN OUR LIFE WHEN THINGS HAVE TO BE SCALED DOWN. I HAVE EXPERIANCED TMES WHERE I WAS BURNED OUT FROM ALL THE INVOLVMENT. IT IS O.K.! KEEP POSTING ROLE AND WHEN YOU HAVE THE ENERGY OR TIME TO HELP A BROTHER, DO SO. THERE IS NO RULE AS TO HOW MANY HRS YOU NEED TO CONTRIBUTE. AS LONG AS YOU ARE A MNA OF YOUR WORD AND HELP YOUR TEAM THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. STAY QUIT BRO AND BE PROUD! NO GUILT ALLOWED.
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There are a few people that have noticed that I'm not as active on this site as I used to be. I want to take a moment to re-assure anyone that is worried about me that I am doing very well. My quit is as strong as ever or stronger. I am still getting the occasional crave but at this point, I see them as more helpful than hurtful. They remind me that I am an addict. I need to keep taking the nicotine beast seriously. I will not let my guard down.
I have recently noticed how much time I spent on the website. It was pointed out to me by my wife that I actually spent more time on the site than I spent talking to her during the day. This bothered me. I would spend most of my lunch hour on my phone and at least an hour a day on the laptop before or after work. For me, this site was becoming a bit of an obsession. I am still here. I still post daily (100% poster) and I still read the others posts and text the people I am close to from time to time to check in on them. I simply decided that I will not spend quite as much time on the site as I normally did. This will probably increase or decrease as my free time changes but for now, I'm going to leave the daily grind of the page up to my brothers in November 13. Thanks for showing concern people. I really appreciate it.
NAFAR - and I truly mean that
DaBean22
glad to hear it man. im glad so many people care about you enough to notice. keep up the quittin. im here with ya.
dd
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Just want you to know I'm super proud of you and so glad you're here. :wub:
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Brother I thank you for all you have done and you so deserve some family time. I know you are solid and that makes us all solid with you. Keep on rolling on with your quit my brother.
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Brother I thank you for all you have done and you so deserve some family time. I know you are solid and that makes us all solid with you. Keep on rolling on with your quit my brother.
BearHawk, you are more than welcome brother. You guys are becoming my family man. (DD911 is the crazy uncle (or maybe that's me)) Anything I can do to help, just let me know.
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Dreams suck. Last night I had a dream, no a nightmare. I was driving down the road with the window down like I always do and without warning I exhaled smoke. I looked into my left hand and the cigarette was there. Obviously I had been smoking without realizing it. Even in my dream I screamed "NOOOOO". I thought of all of you guys and how I was going to have to explain how it happened and I was so upset because I couldn't remember how it did. I thought about how some individuals here would react to the news. It was heartbreaking. It took me a few minutes after waking up to assure myself that it didn't actually happen. Lord KNOWS I will not smoke today after a dream like that.
I'm now on day 97 and dreams still suck.
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Dreams suck. Last night I had a dream, no a nightmare. I was driving down the road with the window down like I always do and without warning I exhaled smoke. I looked into my left hand and the cigarette was there. Obviously I had been smoking without realizing it. Even in my dream I screamed "NOOOOO". I thought of all of you guys and how I was going to have to explain how it happened and I was so upset because I couldn't remember how it did. I thought about how some individuals here would react to the news. It was heartbreaking. It took me a few minutes after waking up to assure myself that it didn't actually happen. Lord KNOWS I will not smoke today after a dream like that.
I'm now on day 97 and dreams still suck.
I've had that same dream!
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dabean22 – This married ex-smoker from North Philly started smoking at the age of 16 which is just one year younger than his step-son. He plans on bring some home brewed beer on the train and asks that in case of an emergency on the train that require authorities to be contacted that we give him a head start. That make sense now because this quitter may or may not have had something to do with an accidental fire in a warehouse (I know nothing).
This kitchen designer has enjoyed posting roll EVERY DAMN DAY and indicates that “it just works”. He plans on signing up for 200 and plans to watch his fellow quitters quit strong. He obviously idolizes and loves his sister “LionHeartedGirl” who quit at a stressful time, and stayed QUIT. She is a tough cookie. The list is nearly endless how many people have helped me. I'm just going to touch on the highlights that come to mind this night. I'll miss a few I'm sure: CBird65 spent a couple hours on the phone with me in the beginning that got me headed in the right direction, PaddyMac02 has been one of my oldest friends here and with bjarrett74 has helped me maintain the page and spreadsheet, Pinched got me off my ass by screwing with our group name, Gorilla1 quit on the same day as me and for 84 days we were 100% posters together. Sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed a reminder, DippinDave911 oh what to say about Dave…anyone that looks at our past would be surprised to see us supporting each other now but we got thru it. We found the common enemy, both bent our ways a bit and got our quit on together, bjarrett74, no matter what happens from here on out you and your dedication to this place are humbling your quit dwarfs mine you fucking rock. Get back here soon!
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dabean22 – This married ex-smoker from North Philly started smoking at the age of 16 which is just one year younger than his step-son. He plans on bring some home brewed beer on the train and asks that in case of an emergency on the train that require authorities to be contacted that we give him a head start. That make sense now because this quitter may or may not have had something to do with an accidental fire in a warehouse (I know nothing).
This kitchen designer has enjoyed posting roll EVERY DAMN DAY and indicates that “it just works”. He plans on signing up for 200 and plans to watch his fellow quitters quit strong. He obviously idolizes and loves his sister “LionHeartedGirl” who quit at a stressful time, and stayed QUIT. She is a tough cookie. The list is nearly endless how many people have helped me. I'm just going to touch on the highlights that come to mind this night. I'll miss a few I'm sure: CBird65 spent a couple hours on the phone with me in the beginning that got me headed in the right direction, PaddyMac02 has been one of my oldest friends here and with bjarrett74 has helped me maintain the page and spreadsheet, Pinched got me off my ass by screwing with our group name, Gorilla1 quit on the same day as me and for 84 days we were 100% posters together. Sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed a reminder, DippinDave911 oh what to say about Dave…anyone that looks at our past would be surprised to see us supporting each other now but we got thru it. We found the common enemy, both bent our ways a bit and got our quit on together, bjarrett74, no matter what happens from here on out you and your dedication to this place are humbling your quit dwarfs mine you fucking rock. Get back here soon!
Man, it feels good. Thank you. I feel like I started out driving on the worst potholed dirt road imagineable. More like driving thru the forest. It was slow going. I bottomed out a couple times. I had to ask friends to winch me out of a ditch or two. Over the last few months the road has been getting smoother and straighter. Today feels like that magical time where dirt meets blacktop. I know I still have to look out for deer but my ass no longer has to feel the potholes every 2 feet.
It feels so great to reach day 100 with all of the brothers I've bonded with here.
Sky Diver for life.
NAFAR
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dabean22 – This married ex-smoker from North Philly started smoking at the age of 16 which is just one year younger than his step-son. He plans on bring some home brewed beer on the train and asks that in case of an emergency on the train that require authorities to be contacted that we give him a head start. That make sense now because this quitter may or may not have had something to do with an accidental fire in a warehouse (I know nothing).
This kitchen designer has enjoyed posting roll EVERY DAMN DAY and indicates that “it just works”. He plans on signing up for 200 and plans to watch his fellow quitters quit strong. He obviously idolizes and loves his sister “LionHeartedGirl” who quit at a stressful time, and stayed QUIT. She is a tough cookie. The list is nearly endless how many people have helped me. I'm just going to touch on the highlights that come to mind this night. I'll miss a few I'm sure: CBird65 spent a couple hours on the phone with me in the beginning that got me headed in the right direction, PaddyMac02 has been one of my oldest friends here and with bjarrett74 has helped me maintain the page and spreadsheet, Pinched got me off my ass by screwing with our group name, Gorilla1 quit on the same day as me and for 84 days we were 100% posters together. Sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed a reminder, DippinDave911 oh what to say about Dave…anyone that looks at our past would be surprised to see us supporting each other now but we got thru it. We found the common enemy, both bent our ways a bit and got our quit on together, bjarrett74, no matter what happens from here on out you and your dedication to this place are humbling your quit dwarfs mine you fucking rock. Get back here soon!
Man, it feels good. Thank you. I feel like I started out driving on the worst potholed dirt road imagineable. More like driving thru the forest. It was slow going. I bottomed out a couple times. I had to ask friends to winch me out of a ditch or two. Over the last few months the road has been getting smoother and straighter. Today feels like that magical time where dirt meets blacktop. I know I still have to look out for deer but my ass no longer has to feel the potholes every 2 feet.
It feels so great to reach day 100 with all of the brothers I've bonded with here.
Sky Diver for life.
NAFAR
You're a quitting machine, bro. Congratulations!
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dabean22 – This married ex-smoker from North Philly started smoking at the age of 16 which is just one year younger than his step-son. He plans on bring some home brewed beer on the train and asks that in case of an emergency on the train that require authorities to be contacted that we give him a head start. That make sense now because this quitter may or may not have had something to do with an accidental fire in a warehouse (I know nothing).
This kitchen designer has enjoyed posting roll EVERY DAMN DAY and indicates that “it just works”. He plans on signing up for 200 and plans to watch his fellow quitters quit strong. He obviously idolizes and loves his sister “LionHeartedGirl” who quit at a stressful time, and stayed QUIT. She is a tough cookie. The list is nearly endless how many people have helped me. I'm just going to touch on the highlights that come to mind this night. I'll miss a few I'm sure: CBird65 spent a couple hours on the phone with me in the beginning that got me headed in the right direction, PaddyMac02 has been one of my oldest friends here and with bjarrett74 has helped me maintain the page and spreadsheet, Pinched got me off my ass by screwing with our group name, Gorilla1 quit on the same day as me and for 84 days we were 100% posters together. Sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed a reminder, DippinDave911 oh what to say about Dave…anyone that looks at our past would be surprised to see us supporting each other now but we got thru it. We found the common enemy, both bent our ways a bit and got our quit on together, bjarrett74, no matter what happens from here on out you and your dedication to this place are humbling your quit dwarfs mine you fucking rock. Get back here soon!
Man, it feels good. Thank you. I feel like I started out driving on the worst potholed dirt road imagineable. More like driving thru the forest. It was slow going. I bottomed out a couple times. I had to ask friends to winch me out of a ditch or two. Over the last few months the road has been getting smoother and straighter. Today feels like that magical time where dirt meets blacktop. I know I still have to look out for deer but my ass no longer has to feel the potholes every 2 feet.
It feels so great to reach day 100 with all of the brothers I've bonded with here.
Sky Diver for life.
NAFAR
You're a quitting machine, bro. Congratulations!
Great job dabean.
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dabean22 – This married ex-smoker from North Philly started smoking at the age of 16 which is just one year younger than his step-son. He plans on bring some home brewed beer on the train and asks that in case of an emergency on the train that require authorities to be contacted that we give him a head start. That make sense now because this quitter may or may not have had something to do with an accidental fire in a warehouse (I know nothing).
This kitchen designer has enjoyed posting roll EVERY DAMN DAY and indicates that “it just works”. He plans on signing up for 200 and plans to watch his fellow quitters quit strong. He obviously idolizes and loves his sister “LionHeartedGirl” who quit at a stressful time, and stayed QUIT. She is a tough cookie. The list is nearly endless how many people have helped me. I'm just going to touch on the highlights that come to mind this night. I'll miss a few I'm sure: CBird65 spent a couple hours on the phone with me in the beginning that got me headed in the right direction, PaddyMac02 has been one of my oldest friends here and with bjarrett74 has helped me maintain the page and spreadsheet, Pinched got me off my ass by screwing with our group name, Gorilla1 quit on the same day as me and for 84 days we were 100% posters together. Sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed a reminder, DippinDave911 oh what to say about Dave…anyone that looks at our past would be surprised to see us supporting each other now but we got thru it. We found the common enemy, both bent our ways a bit and got our quit on together, bjarrett74, no matter what happens from here on out you and your dedication to this place are humbling your quit dwarfs mine you fucking rock. Get back here soon!
Man, it feels good. Thank you. I feel like I started out driving on the worst potholed dirt road imagineable. More like driving thru the forest. It was slow going. I bottomed out a couple times. I had to ask friends to winch me out of a ditch or two. Over the last few months the road has been getting smoother and straighter. Today feels like that magical time where dirt meets blacktop. I know I still have to look out for deer but my ass no longer has to feel the potholes every 2 feet.
It feels so great to reach day 100 with all of the brothers I've bonded with here.
Sky Diver for life.
NAFAR
You're a quitting machine, bro. Congratulations!
Great job dabean.
I know I already PMed you, but I wanted to post here as well. Congrats man. Hell of a job, now keep it ODAAT. Quit With you!
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So damn proud of you!
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So damn proud of you!
The Wife is proud of me too. She bought me 2 packs of the limited edition peppermint Oreos to celebrate. She loves me enough to let me finish them before asking me to loose the weight. Now that's love.
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So damn proud of you!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Without you sis, I would not only not be on this site, I would probably still be smoking. More than anyone, I give you credit for saving my life.
Thank You LHG
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I wish I could kill that damn bug on this screen. I have tried but man, he is a survivor. Congrats. thanks for helping out us newbies.
Mogul
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Congrats on HOF Dean! Well done. Proud to be quit with you.
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Conratulations Bean! It has been an honor to quit with you and watch you bring integrity and enthusiasm to this thing. Glad to be your brother.
Peace
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Congrats on the awesome job of making the HOF. I look up to you guys for soon I will be there myself.
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Well done bro!
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Well done bro!
'oh yeah' Rock Star!!!!! 'oh yeah'
Don't let up. Stay with the plan. Your HOF trophy wants company. Start filling up your trophy case! 200 day trophy is yours. You know how to win this but don't let up. You are quit but you still need to rewire and get to recovery.
110 to 130 Expect another battle or funk. You know it is only a phase and it will be easier to deal with because you understand it but many HOF fade in that period.
Don't be a fader. Post roll, keep your word, and only quit today...Repeat.
Congrats this is huge and now you know what is required to stay free.
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
Awesome work man. You are a true leader if you knew it or not. Congrats.
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
Awesome work man. You are a true leader if you knew it or not. Congrats.
Congrats bean.
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
Awesome work man. You are a true leader if you knew it or not. Congrats.
Congrats bean.
Good work with your quit keep it up
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
Awesome work man. You are a true leader if you knew it or not. Congrats.
Congrats bean.
Good work with your quit keep it up
Congrats Dean! You totally deserve it... Roast December well!
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Well, it's day 116 and today it was announced that I get to drive a freaking TRAIN! Seriously, who'd have thunk it that I could actually drive a train just by quitting nicotine. If I had known that, I would have quit a long time ago. OK, that's not true but it is an honor to be asked to welcome a new batch of newbies into the HOF fold. So freaking cool. Thank you KTC.
Well done conductor....a very appropriate selection
Awesome work man. You are a true leader if you knew it or not. Congrats.
Congrats bean.
Good work with your quit keep it up
Congrats Dean! You totally deserve it... Roast December well!
That is great brother Dean, you will make a great driver and conductor.
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Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to. By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
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Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to. By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
Hmnnmm I couldn't even finish reading this shit don't you ever ever question my quit or anyone in my pack. You want drama queen go to face book this is how we roll balls out you don't like it don't want to conform to it its a free site I know you have been made aware of that with prior issues just a flick of the switch and poof the site disappears.
As for me I will remain here and pay it forward and back I will give whatever I have left in the tank to help my brothers remain quit. I am not strong everyday somedays a text out of the blue is all that is needed to pick my head up. As an individual I failed many times to remain quit as a brother/sisterhood I am getting it done ODAAT.
Maybe the issue you have is that you think someone/body owes you for being here. We do it because we know what slavery is like the payoff is when you take a young quitter under your wing and watch them all the way through and you see them emerge as strong quitters. That is what this place is about.
So now you can go back to your pity party or you can dust off whatever funk you are in and reach out for help or you can go help some foggy lil fugger. up to you as for me I am done with this thread.
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
Hmnnmm I couldn't even finish reading this shit don't you ever ever question my quit or anyone in my pack. You want drama queen go to face book this is how we roll balls out you don't like it don't want to conform to it its a free site I know you have been made aware of that with prior issues just a flick of the switch and poof the site disappears.
As for me I will remain here and pay it forward and back I will give whatever I have left in the tank to help my brothers remain quit. I am not strong everyday somedays a text out of the blue is all that is needed to pick my head up. As an individual I failed many times to remain quit as a brother/sisterhood I am getting it done ODAAT.
Maybe the issue you have is that you think someone/body owes you for being here. We do it because we know what slavery is like the payoff is when you take a young quitter under your wing and watch them all the way through and you see them emerge as strong quitters. That is what this place is about.
So now you can go back to your pity party or you can dust off whatever funk you are in and reach out for help or you can go help some foggy lil fugger. up to you as for me I am done with this thread.
I think he just likes drama, Trauma. Llama.
I'm done with this thread, too. I hope it falls to the bottom and we get right back to helping quitters.
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
Hmnnmm I couldn't even finish reading this shit don't you ever ever question my quit or anyone in my pack. You want drama queen go to face book this is how we roll balls out you don't like it don't want to conform to it its a free site I know you have been made aware of that with prior issues just a flick of the switch and poof the site disappears.
As for me I will remain here and pay it forward and back I will give whatever I have left in the tank to help my brothers remain quit. I am not strong everyday somedays a text out of the blue is all that is needed to pick my head up. As an individual I failed many times to remain quit as a brother/sisterhood I am getting it done ODAAT.
Maybe the issue you have is that you think someone/body owes you for being here. We do it because we know what slavery is like the payoff is when you take a young quitter under your wing and watch them all the way through and you see them emerge as strong quitters. That is what this place is about.
So now you can go back to your pity party or you can dust off whatever funk you are in and reach out for help or you can go help some foggy lil fugger. up to you as for me I am done with this thread.
Dean,
You hit 200 days and have made the decision to disappear and stop by from time to time to post roll. You were one of the leaders from November 2013. Jlud and I were the conductors for your group and let me go on record of stating that it was not an easy group to do that for with the drama that did go on. However, Jeff and I remained strong through it all because there are still some bad ass quitters in that group that maintained their resolve quit daily and are still kicking ass.
If you are worried about a loss of connection within your group reach outside of your group and find others.
One consistent message that was being volleyed in November 2013 was "our group", I am a member of the KTC Community that is "our group". I love my Duck Fips and they will always be special to me, but there are many other quitters that I would not be here if not for them, hell none of us would be.
When you are done feeling sorry for yourself, and your lost connections I suggest that you learn the dish out the KTC Kool-Aide too, as it helps solidify anyone's quit.
P
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
Hmnnmm I couldn't even finish reading this shit don't you ever ever question my quit or anyone in my pack. You want drama queen go to face book this is how we roll balls out you don't like it don't want to conform to it its a free site I know you have been made aware of that with prior issues just a flick of the switch and poof the site disappears.
As for me I will remain here and pay it forward and back I will give whatever I have left in the tank to help my brothers remain quit. I am not strong everyday somedays a text out of the blue is all that is needed to pick my head up. As an individual I failed many times to remain quit as a brother/sisterhood I am getting it done ODAAT.
Maybe the issue you have is that you think someone/body owes you for being here. We do it because we know what slavery is like the payoff is when you take a young quitter under your wing and watch them all the way through and you see them emerge as strong quitters. That is what this place is about.
So now you can go back to your pity party or you can dust off whatever funk you are in and reach out for help or you can go help some foggy lil fugger. up to you as for me I am done with this thread.
Dean,
You hit 200 days and have made the decision to disappear and stop by from time to time to post roll. You were one of the leaders from November 2013. Jlud and I were the conductors for your group and let me go on record of stating that it was not an easy group to do that for with the drama that did go on. However, Jeff and I remained strong through it all because there are still some bad ass quitters in that group that maintained their resolve quit daily and are still kicking ass.
If you are worried about a loss of connection within your group reach outside of your group and find others.
One consistent message that was being volleyed in November 2013 was "our group", I am a member of the KTC Community that is "our group". I love my Duck Fips and they will always be special to me, but there are many other quitters that I would not be here if not for them, hell none of us would be.
When you are done feeling sorry for yourself, and your lost connections I suggest that you learn the dish out the KTC Kool-Aide too, as it helps solidify anyone's quit.
P
Just so we're all clear..."Dabean22" is not me. I'm "Bean"...just Bean...the original. And I plan on being here every damn day.
I'm not criticizing anyone's method as long as it works. I understand that typing 5 or 6 letters AND adding one to the previous day's number is difficult. Especially after you have 200-plus practices in a row. I mean, paying it forward and being an example even when it costs you nothing monetarily and so little time really is asking too much, right?
Take care, Dabean22. Hope you reconsider.
- a very dissappointed Bean.
-
First Congrats on 200...
ok maybe its because been trying to get together with this character since we live less than an hour from one another (in an area with a few rock solid quitters and friends), but this hits a little hard and confusing at the same time.
I try to never criticize, but I do feel need to say and liken this to the following scenario:
When you came into the KTC community, you moved into a great neighborhood. You were a great friend in your month as you gathered those around your house as they moved in. Heck they looked at you to look after them and their house when they would stray a little. Then as you say after the hall, some of those moved away from the neighborhood. It happens in all groups. Does it hurt, sure it does as we would not be human. It is even ok to start to focus on building a better and better house for yourself, and tending the garden in your own yard (ie the little less activity on the site after the hall for yourself). Heck, I had done this for couple of weeks, and think this is normal as we regain our own internal energy.
It just seems like with this post and what you are saying is that you are putting up the gate around your house, locking it up and moving away. Not asking those who once looked to you, to now look after you. Not staying in touch with those in the neighborhood that you once considered friends.
Have seen so many that have done this in the past, just forget the structure that they had, and come back to only see complete ruin and have to build a new house in a new neighborhood.
As at the beginning, we cannot force someone to quit, and we now cannot force someone to stay. I just thought I would throw this out there because of the history of what happens (as you mention when you see someone going down the wrong path).
Not going to wish you well, but I will wish that if you choose this that you always remember what you went through. Because if you do that, then things may work out well.
-
Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.Â
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.Â
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to.  By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.Â
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
So... After all your "hard work" you're going to go against what you know works? Too much trouble to ensure you remain quit? Too much trouble to do the opposite of the people who disappointed you? You feel cured? You strong enough to be your own pillar? Interesting...
That's your choice, Bean, but it would be a shame. A) your contributions to KTC help people quit, no doubt. B ) Haven't you learned that there is no finish line? Stay close to KTC for selfish reasons, if nothing else. You are not cured.
I freak out in my cave dreams, too, but one of the first thoughts I have is about KTC. Obviously it is a layer of accountability that helps me keep my quit.
Assuming you didn't post this just to get some attention...
Hmnnmm I couldn't even finish reading this shit don't you ever ever question my quit or anyone in my pack. You want drama queen go to face book this is how we roll balls out you don't like it don't want to conform to it its a free site I know you have been made aware of that with prior issues just a flick of the switch and poof the site disappears.
As for me I will remain here and pay it forward and back I will give whatever I have left in the tank to help my brothers remain quit. I am not strong everyday somedays a text out of the blue is all that is needed to pick my head up. As an individual I failed many times to remain quit as a brother/sisterhood I am getting it done ODAAT.
Maybe the issue you have is that you think someone/body owes you for being here. We do it because we know what slavery is like the payoff is when you take a young quitter under your wing and watch them all the way through and you see them emerge as strong quitters. That is what this place is about.
So now you can go back to your pity party or you can dust off whatever funk you are in and reach out for help or you can go help some foggy lil fugger. up to you as for me I am done with this thread.
Dean,
You hit 200 days and have made the decision to disappear and stop by from time to time to post roll. You were one of the leaders from November 2013. Jlud and I were the conductors for your group and let me go on record of stating that it was not an easy group to do that for with the drama that did go on. However, Jeff and I remained strong through it all because there are still some bad ass quitters in that group that maintained their resolve quit daily and are still kicking ass.
If you are worried about a loss of connection within your group reach outside of your group and find others.
One consistent message that was being volleyed in November 2013 was "our group", I am a member of the KTC Community that is "our group". I love my Duck Fips and they will always be special to me, but there are many other quitters that I would not be here if not for them, hell none of us would be.
When you are done feeling sorry for yourself, and your lost connections I suggest that you learn the dish out the KTC Kool-Aide too, as it helps solidify anyone's quit.
P
Just so we're all clear..."Dabean22" is not me. I'm "Bean"...just Bean...the original. And I plan on being here every damn day.
I'm not criticizing anyone's method as long as it works. I understand that typing 5 or 6 letters AND adding one to the previous day's number is difficult. Especially after you have 200-plus practices in a row. I mean, paying it forward and being an example even when it costs you nothing monetarily and so little time really is asking too much, right?
Take care, Dabean22. Hope you reconsider.
- a very dissappointed Bean.
I respect you all too much to disagree with any of you. I don't plan on stopping by from time to time to post roll. I plan to keep my promise to my brothers to always be available to them. When someone asks me to post roll for them, I will. I value all of the brothers here that still rely on the support system here and would never dishonor them by removing my support.
I have not felt a nicotine craving in over a hundred days. Yes, I remember the times that I used to crave them. I remember the habit but I now understand that I am an addict and that the first time I let my guard down, the bitch will take advantage of it. The fact is that my guard is no longer the website. My guard is now inside myself.
I make this promise to everyone and I take this promise as seriously as any I have made here. If I EVER feel a craving again. If I ever have even one passing thought that it may be OK to have "just one", I will call, text and post roll at that very moment and come back crawling and admitting that it was a mistake. No, my fight against this addiction is not over. It will never be over. I now know enough not to allow myself to believe the lies that the nic bitch has told me for 20 years. LGH will hold me accountable, as will some others that decide to continue to text me from time to time. Anyone that has my number (well over a hundred members) can feel free to check in on me if they feel the desire. I know I'll be checking in with some of my brothers as well.
The fact that you guys are calling me stupid and are disappointed in me just shows how much you care and for that, I thank you. You are the glue that holds this place together. Call me stupid. Tell me I am letting you down. But never stop calling me a quitter.
NAFAR
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I don't share the same sentiments as those below. Right or wrong, I think you are being a selfish asshole for doing this. "Oooh...poor me ... so and so hurt my little butt-feelings and I take it too personal (which is bullshit...others may not call you on it, but I will). Too personal?? Oh, like someone reaching out to you and your responding with "thanks for the reach out man, but I gotta go get on the treadmill." lolol...are you serious?!? hahaha. That's a joke/joke of a response. More like the response of someone looking for a loophole....
But you want to know what is NOT A FUCKING JOKE...YOUR own words you took over as the Conductor of December 13 quit group. Well...I'm in DECEMBER 13 and as a member of DECEMBER 13...damn right it is personal now...PERSONAL TO DECEMBER...you know the one for which you were "paying it forward"...but you go ahead with your own selfish personal agenda. And here you are saying you just can't go on cause it's too personal when someone doesn't post when they said they will, but yet you are no longer committed to posting. See above "More like the response of someone looking for a loophole..."
I hope you come to your senses because you are NOT thinking about how what you are doing is affecting others. That just wreaks of addict babble.
Might want to read before your "train" departs...
index.php?showtopic=9551st=0 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=9551&st=0)
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I'm not sure why you are telling everyone here that you are done posting roll. That is your choice. Are you giving us the big .... 'Finger' ???? Either this works for you, or it doesn't. Sounds like you are all done. Got your 200 days you are ready to tackle this on your own. I hope that works for you.
I will tell you that you need to worry about your quit FIRST. Letting all the failures from your group impact your quit is not where you need to be. I don't know why you got all tangled up in those disaster quits anyhow... sometimes when someone flames out you just need to get out of the way let them do their business.
What is holding accountable?
To me, it is me posting roll EDD and honoring my word for that day. I am accountable to those that choose to post roll. I am accountable to people outside of September 2013 as well. If someone chooses to not post roll... that will not impact my quit what I do. I am in charge of myself and that is what I need to handle. All others know how this works and they choose their fate. Getting mad and obsessing about the ability to impose your will on someone else is a recipe for failure.
In the end... this is about being quit. I do it by posting roll EDD, honoring my word, giving what I can to help others... then I do it again the next day.
This is not for everyone, but I know it works. 243 days of badass quit proves it. You do what you want, brother.
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I'm not sure why you are telling everyone here that you are done posting roll. That is your choice. Are you giving us the big .... 'Finger' ???? Either this works for you, or it doesn't. Sounds like you are all done. Got your 200 days you are ready to tackle this on your own. I hope that works for you.
I will tell you that you need to worry about your quit FIRST. Letting all the failures from your group impact your quit is not where you need to be. I don't know why you got all tangled up in those disaster quits anyhow... sometimes when someone flames out you just need to get out of the way let them do their business.
What is holding accountable?Â
To me, it is me posting roll EDD and honoring my word for that day. I am accountable to those that choose to post roll. I am accountable to people outside of September 2013 as well. If someone chooses to not post roll... that will not impact my quit what I do. I am in charge of myself and that is what I need to handle. All others know how this works and they choose your fate. Getting mad and obsessing about the ability to impose your will on someone else is a recipe for failure.
In the end... this is about being quit. I do it by posting roll EDD, honoring my word, giving what I can to help others... then I do it again the next day.Â
This is not for everyone, but I know it works. 243 days of badass quit proves it. You do what you want, brother.
Damn, Out of respect for LHG I was gonna stay out of this because I tend to be an asshole. But I want to put my two cents is.....
Sounds like complacency to me. After 200 days you damn sure aren't cured. If you think that not having a crave after 100 days means you are free then you missed the entire mark here for the last 200 days. Sounds like you missed it anyway. See, I got complacent around 170-180 days (I would have to look it up to know the real day count), and I started to feel like I was putting too much time into KTC after being a conductor myself. THEN I felt like My group was losing touch with each other. (this all sounds familiar right?) In general, I was out of touch and had forgotten what I was doing and why I was here! Guess what happened? I posted a new day 1! And I would have argued before the day I caved that it could not happen. I was a 100% poster! (until a few weeks before my cave) I was good. See all that I had contributed here? It was worthless the moment I walked away. I sealed my own fate. Good news is that you can come back here if you find that you are wrong and need to post a new day 1. But why do that? It sucks. The shame and the hurt you cause your brothers here. Stick around. Add up your +1's. And then you can look back and be grateful that you dodged a mistake. Just my 2 cents...... I have experience!
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Nicotine is too powerful a drug to take on by yourself. Being accountable to others is the only way to succeed in your Quit! Swallow the ego and admit that you need to make your promise every day to beat this addiction. Own your Quit and be accountable to your peers every day!
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I don't share the same sentiments as those below. Right or wrong, I think you are being a selfish asshole for doing this. "Oooh...poor me ... so and so hurt my little butt-feelings and I take it too personal (which is bullshit...others may not call you on it, but I will). Too personal?? Oh, like someone reaching out to you and your responding with "thanks for the reach out man, but I gotta go get on the treadmill." lolol...are you serious?!? hahaha. That's a joke/joke of a response. More like the response of someone looking for a loophole....
But you want to know what is NOT A FUCKING JOKE...YOUR own words you took over as the Conductor of December 13 quit group. Well...I'm in DECEMBER 13 and as a member of DECEMBER 13...damn right it is personal now...PERSONAL TO DECEMBER...you know the one for which you were "paying it forward"...but you go ahead with your own selfish personal agenda. And here you are saying you just can't go on cause it's too personal when someone doesn't post when they said they will, but yet you are no longer committed to posting. See above "More like the response of someone looking for a loophole..."
I hope you come to your senses because you are NOT thinking about how what you are doing is affecting others. That just wreaks of addict babble.
Might want to read before your "train" departs...
index.php?showtopic=9551st=0 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=9551&st=0)
This kinda reminds me if the time when Garth Brooks realized he had so much success he balled his fuckn little eyes out. He made tooo much money. He was tooo successful. He was ashamed by achieving sooo much. So what did he do about it. He became someone else. He became Chris Gaines. How stupid was that.
Dude. You came here for you. 200 days is a testimony that you made the right decision. Yes it's painful to lose folks along the way. But it's like the line Ginet uses, " I quit with you, for me. " Thats what this really is all about. Hate to see ya go, but ultimately I came here for me and here is where I'll be.
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This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
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Dabean, you certainly had an impact on my quit the last 175 days and I wasn't even in your group. I saw how you held your brothers accountable and lead by example every day. It would now be a shame to fail to share your experiences with new brothers who are in the heat of battle to take back control of their lives. Doing so would only strengthen your quit.
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Day 200 is here and it feels good. I guess it makes sense that I had a nic dream last night. I have grown to love them after the fact even when the freak me out when I'm in the middle of them. This site has been a blessing and a curse over the last 200 days. Some of the people I've grown close to turned out to disappoint me in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible and others have been a spot of pride for me on a regular basis. I have but heads with some of the established leaders here but not because we wanted different things but because we thought they should be achieved in a different way. I have serious respect for those that stay active here.
The fact is that I could not do that. The more involved I got, the more it affected me when I saw guys heading down the wrong path. I felt like I was loosing brothers as they started to drop away. After I reached day 100 I threw myself into driving the train for December '13 and it was great, (Thanks Midwest04z) but after that, it was getting harder and harder for me to be comfortable holding my brothers accountable. I believe that it was my fault. I believe that I take my promise here more seriously than a lot of others. I took it too personally when people that promised me they would post daily had excuses for missing days repeatedly. There have been several brothers here that have made me proud to know them BearHawk among the most prominent.
It is for that reason that I feel bad about not signing up for 300 days. I am still quit one day at a time with the full expectation to be the same for the rest of my life. When I started this journey by starting the book Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking at the recommendation from my sister after my wife had already bought me the book, I had no intention of joining an online support group. When I finished the book and knew exactly why I had failed on all of my previous attempts to quit I knew beyond doubt that I was done with nicotine forever. I decided that I couldn't hurt to join this group my sister couldn't stop talking about. (those of you that know LionHeartedGirl should feel privileged but also know that she can use the spoken word better than most) I joined this group with a healthy respect for the mentality it takes to actually quit and for the pitfalls others have had before me so I poured myself into doing everything I could to support my brothers in quit in any way I could.
A lot happened since then. DippinDave911, bjarrett and of course who can forget the saga that was PaddyMac02, did a lot to change how I was able to connect with the people here. I knew that this site did a lot to give me focus and a place to rage a bit even when I didn't know I needed to. By the time I finished running the train, I had lost a lot of the emotional connection to the members here. That may have been my fault but it's true none the less.
The long and short of it is that I have taken what I needed and I am leaving the rest. I will always come back and post for those here that occasionally text me their promise and I will post for myself on some of those days but as for regular posting, I'm done. Thanks go to everyone that showed me support. There are several here that I will never forget. Thanks to everyone.
(sorry for the rambling. I'm watching the Olympics while I type and have likely been very repetitive very repetitive.)
Hey Dean... Just caught wind of this. Hey thanks for helping me with Dec13 spreadsheet and the conducting advice for Jan14. It meant a lot to me. It's really bad for all of us to see you go. Got one thing for you though. If I could read a book and get cured from this shit I wouldn't be posting this to you right now...
Good luck man!
"D" "O" "C"
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This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
-
This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
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This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
Should I stay or should I go now?
Whatever your decision is it will not effect me. That is both sad and true I suppose Regardless, I will be here giving my word every day and upholding it to those that read it. I am not cured at day 499. Tomorrow? Maybe, but I doubt it. I still think about it many times a day proving the the smoltering remains of that romance are not dead; it is just awaiting for a flame to invigorate it and strip me of my Quit status. That won't happen. Not Today. Because I am here.
You can add your name to that list of "half-assed quitters but more likely cavers that are too weak and pussyish to admit it" that you mentioned (you forgot a few), or you can read what J2B said and choose option 1.
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This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
This is amazing insight. Word of Wisdom Material for me and I suspect KTC
Roam, I was Contestent #1 - I had enough of KTC. It wasn't until I was verbally slapped when Noonelikesaquitter told me what was going on. He said, "Mthomas you're hurting" Then roam meets me on a shitty side of town (refinery and traintracks next to a stinky salty marsh) and we had a good dinner.
I was enlightened. It was easier, life on paper was great but I couldn't deny I was hurting.
You know, KTC does a great job with preparing us for withdrawls, fogs, funks, dreams post hall. We say, "Embrace the suck". Then is gets easier and simple really simple, almost boring and dull.
Then you get into the 200 - 350 range. It hurts. Maybe we need to prepare groups in that range that they will have to "Face the Hurt"?
I don't know but I was saved from myself because KTC and brothers took the time and cared to wake my up and tell me the hurt really happens and its part of the process.
I sure feel great now and thank you for the steak in a shitty part of town. I was Qutter 1 who was saved.
Dabean - you are gettin a response simply because you are us and we are you. Addictive behavor is chronic, and identified with similar symptoms and signs. I understand you and care about your success.
So read what is being said. Vent, Rage, get whatever ales you out. If you hurt but think you shouldn't....Been their.
At least stay posting daily for 50 to 100 more days. Say at 300 days, if you still feel the same, exit stage left. I bet you'll be glad and at the very least wont regret putting a 50 to 100 day morretorium to leave. Let it paly out.
You are too valuable to quitters on the site and we are a value to your quit as well. Support. Many hands makes light work. Sit on this feeling for 100 days and then make your choice. Please?
-
I choose to post roll every day. It's as normal as taking a dump or having a cup of coffee. Why do I continue to do this well into my 4th year of freedom from this addiction? For you newbies out there, I'll tell you.
1. I do it for myself. I know from being around this site for so long that posting roll is the cornerstone of a person's quit. It is EVERYTHING in the beginning and is a sense of comfort as you progress years into your quit. I'm 99.99% sure that I will NEVER, EVER use tobacco again. I keep coming back for that 0.01% because I know if I make that simple promise each day then I can and will remain free. I know you guys will hold me accountable. The only people that I know that cave are people that quit posting roll. It is that simple. I won't be one of those people.
2. Pay it back... you've heard the story a hundred times but i REALLY suffered in trying to quit this shit. I sincerely want to help someone else. I remember those days and how horrible they were. This site is the ONLY thing that made me successful in my quit. I OWE it something and that something is trying to be a very, very small piece of that amazing web of support and help.
3. Many of the closest friends that I have made in my life are in here.
Some of them I haven't even met in person. That sense of brotherhood is a big reason that I remain....
Whatever YOUR reasons for posting roll are I hope you continue to do it. In the early weeks/months of your quit it will be the MOST important thing you do each day. As you progress, I hope you see the value of continuing on. If not I'm sure I'll see you back in here with your tail between your legs as a caver and pure example of what happens when you quit posting roll. That one small gest of posting roll that takes less than a minute a day can and will be the breaking line of if some of you make it or not.
Don't take the chance. Post up....
My promise is here today in the form of a simple phrase:
TCOPE = 1757... today I promise not to use tobacco. One day at a time....
Some wise words from TCOPE above to one of the new pre-HOF classes. This in addition to the vet's words below are some good KTC kool aid.
-
:scowick:
Moving on
-
No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
Hunter S. Thompson
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Nice look at me" walk-off. Reminiscent of LeBron and "The decision". A truly duchy move. Not only that you are leaving but your skewed view of yourself, I was waiting for you to go 3rd person. You care more and too much...than who???? Is there a care-o-meter I'm not aware of?
You will post role on behalf of others and MAYBE even post role yourself??!!! Ewwwwwee. You're my hero!!!
200 days. That is a great accomplishment, I would never say otherwise.
I guess for the elite like yourself that's enough time to go lone wolf.
But...if you ever get weak, crave and consider caving, then you will come crawling back. Gee, that's mighty gracious of you.
The best part is that if you do, we will help you. Not bail on you.
Novel concept, eh?
-
I'm not sure why you are telling everyone here that you are done posting roll. That is your choice. Are you giving us the big .... 'Finger' ???? Either this works for you, or it doesn't. Sounds like you are all done. Got your 200 days you are ready to tackle this on your own. I hope that works for you.
I will tell you that you need to worry about your quit FIRST. Letting all the failures from your group impact your quit is not where you need to be. I don't know why you got all tangled up in those disaster quits anyhow... sometimes when someone flames out you just need to get out of the way let them do their business.
What is holding accountable?Â
To me, it is me posting roll EDD and honoring my word for that day. I am accountable to those that choose to post roll. I am accountable to people outside of September 2013 as well. If someone chooses to not post roll... that will not impact my quit what I do. I am in charge of myself and that is what I need to handle. All others know how this works and they choose your fate. Getting mad and obsessing about the ability to impose your will on someone else is a recipe for failure.
In the end... this is about being quit. I do it by posting roll EDD, honoring my word, giving what I can to help others... then I do it again the next day.Â
This is not for everyone, but I know it works. 243 days of badass quit proves it. You do what you want, brother.
Damn, Out of respect for LHG I was gonna stay out of this because I tend to be an asshole. But I want to put my two cents is.....
Sounds like complacency to me. After 200 days you damn sure aren't cured. If you think that not having a crave after 100 days means you are free then you missed the entire mark here for the last 200 days. Sounds like you missed it anyway. See, I got complacent around 170-180 days (I would have to look it up to know the real day count), and I started to feel like I was putting too much time into KTC after being a conductor myself. THEN I felt like My group was losing touch with each other. (this all sounds familiar right?) In general, I was out of touch and had forgotten what I was doing and why I was here! Guess what happened? I posted a new day 1! And I would have argued before the day I caved that it could not happen. I was a 100% poster! (until a few weeks before my cave) I was good. See all that I had contributed here? It was worthless the moment I walked away. I sealed my own fate. Good news is that you can come back here if you find that you are wrong and need to post a new day 1. But why do that? It sucks. The shame and the hurt you cause your brothers here. Stick around. Add up your +1's. And then you can look back and be grateful that you dodged a mistake. Just my 2 cents...... I have experience!
Jake Frawley is a bad ass. Jake Frawley was a conductor and very active member of this community. After about 200 days he didn't need this community any more! Stopped posting. Stopped responding to texts. That didn't go so well. But he came back and took a different approach. Stopped and listened, took it all in.
I would listen to Jake if I were you, but as the self proclaimed leader of November 2013 (good memory here) I would also feel guilt about abandoning ship. Maybe that is just me? Think about it... When you put yourself in a leadership position, YOU OWE IT TO OTHERS TO BE THE EXAMPLE.
Go back and read Jakes thread if you can tear yourself away from the Olympics for a minute. Lots of similarities.....
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I was going to read all the back story and give some encouragement type argument for you to stick b/c I watched your quit from day 1 and like you and really respect LHG, but you know what? 200 days or whatever, you don't want to keep your tools sharp, and you don't want to keep doing what got you here, then I am not wasting my time beyond saying this. There is someone out there needs some words more than you... Good luck.
-
This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
Dean and I texted before I read this thread and though I don't hold the same view he does, I understood and respected his decision. When I asked him to come to KTC, I asked him for just 100 days and he promised that. I really didn't know if he would go to 200 because though he's loved the community, and is very serious about his quit, it's not something he foresaw himself doing forever. I was hoping as he stayed and settled in, he would find a quiet comfort in staying.
I'm sad he will be leaving and honestly, I hope he reconsiders too.
I got on tonight to look at the thread expecting to be pissed off at members looking for blood. If this thread were directed right at me I think I'd have trouble reading it clearly and seeing the true care behind the words but I do see it. Frankly, I'm really touched by it.
Dean, some of the finest quitters on this site have come here to say "Reconsider. Don't go." It probably feels like a dog pile but it's not. I've seen a couple dog piles. I've seen things that have made me cringe and thought no wonder someone is leaving. This isn't that. This is genuine care and sadness. This reminds me when jrizzle left (that one still stings).
I quoted T-Cell here because I think he's spot on and true. The only reason to leave is if you are 100% certain you can make it on your own. And respectfully little bro, I think it's too early for you. Some of my strongest craves have happened in the 200's.
I know you don't want to stay here forever. No judgment. And I do believe you are quit. But I just think you need to stay a little longer. Can you commit to one year? Try just posting and running for awhile. I know it feels pointless and why bother but can you just try it? I want you to experience one good crave while doing that and then let me know if that little act made a difference for you.
You put a lot of pressure on yourself. It's okay to be selfish for a bit and just post your number and leave. Just you being here is enough though. If you say no, I still respect that cause I do know you and know you would text me if you ran into a problem. But I think there is value in staying at least to the one year mark.
Much love to you.
-
This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
Dean and I texted before I read this thread and though I don't hold the same view he does, I understood and respected his decision. When I asked him to come to KTC, I asked him for just 100 days and he promised that. I really didn't know if he would go to 200 because though he's loved the community, and is very serious about his quit, it's not something he foresaw himself doing forever. I was hoping as he stayed and settled in, he would find a quiet comfort in staying.
I'm sad he will be leaving and honestly, I hope he reconsiders too.
I got on tonight to look at the thread expecting to be pissed off at members looking for blood. If this thread were directed right at me I think I'd have trouble reading it clearly and seeing the true care behind the words but I do see it. Frankly, I'm really touched by it.
Dean, some of the finest quitters on this site have come here to say "Reconsider. Don't go." It probably feels like a dog pile but it's not. I've seen a couple dog piles. I've seen things that have made me cringe and thought no wonder someone is leaving. This isn't that. This is genuine care and sadness. This reminds me when jrizzle left (that one still stings).
I quoted T-Cell here because I think he's spot on and true. The only reason to leave is if you are 100% certain you can make it on your own. And respectfully little bro, I think it's too early for you. Some of my strongest craves have happened in the 200's.
I know you don't want to stay here forever. No judgment. And I do believe you are quit. But I just think you need to stay a little longer. Can you commit to one year? Try just posting and running for awhile. I know it feels pointless and why bother but can you just try it? I want you to experience one good crave while doing that and then let me know if that little act made a difference for you.
You put a lot of pressure on yourself. It's okay to be selfish for a bit and just post your number and leave. Just you being here is enough though. If you say no, I still respect that cause I do know you and know you would text me if you ran into a problem. But I think there is value in staying at least to the one year mark.
Much love to you.
Either ya get KTC or ya don't. I think we all see what happens when ya dont
-
I owe too large a debt to stop paying it forward or backward!
:ph43r: sadly shakes his bowed head and wonders where is the outcry from Nov 13?
-
This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
Dean and I texted before I read this thread and though I don't hold the same view he does, I understood and respected his decision. When I asked him to come to KTC, I asked him for just 100 days and he promised that. I really didn't know if he would go to 200 because though he's loved the community, and is very serious about his quit, it's not something he foresaw himself doing forever. I was hoping as he stayed and settled in, he would find a quiet comfort in staying.
I'm sad he will be leaving and honestly, I hope he reconsiders too.
I got on tonight to look at the thread expecting to be pissed off at members looking for blood. If this thread were directed right at me I think I'd have trouble reading it clearly and seeing the true care behind the words but I do see it. Frankly, I'm really touched by it.
Dean, some of the finest quitters on this site have come here to say "Reconsider. Don't go." It probably feels like a dog pile but it's not. I've seen a couple dog piles. I've seen things that have made me cringe and thought no wonder someone is leaving. This isn't that. This is genuine care and sadness. This reminds me when jrizzle left (that one still stings).
I quoted T-Cell here because I think he's spot on and true. The only reason to leave is if you are 100% certain you can make it on your own. And respectfully little bro, I think it's too early for you. Some of my strongest craves have happened in the 200's.
I know you don't want to stay here forever. No judgment. And I do believe you are quit. But I just think you need to stay a little longer. Can you commit to one year? Try just posting and running for awhile. I know it feels pointless and why bother but can you just try it? I want you to experience one good crave while doing that and then let me know if that little act made a difference for you.
You put a lot of pressure on yourself. It's okay to be selfish for a bit and just post your number and leave. Just you being here is enough though. If you say no, I still respect that cause I do know you and know you would text me if you ran into a problem. But I think there is value in staying at least to the one year mark.
Much love to you.
Either ya get KTC or ya don't. I think we all see what happens when ya dont
I really will miss having my brother DaBean here all the time. The man has helped me through some tough times. I want him to know that he is and always will be my brother and not just in quit. For all you dicked up folks that are giving hell how about this 'Finger'. Hey brother Dean Hang loose and hang in. Keep in touch on the phone. Here's to you and to NAFAR!
Again all you haters - get the hell over yourselves. You ain't the reason we quit, you are help but not mom .. if we needed this much grief we wouldn't have come here; we have wives for that shit.
-
This is utter bullshit, addict speak, planned cave nonsense. Dont get pissy about it either - some folks just drift away and some stay quit. Every single time I have seen someone "announce" they were leaving its been for one of two reasons:
1) they were in a rough spot and crying out for help.
2) they had already made up their mind and were planning to cave, and didnt want other quitters to come a looking when they didnt post roll.Â
In both cases, caving had definitely become an "option" for them.
Case 1 quitters need and are often "saved" by brothers doing exactly what is being done here - calling them out on their nonsense. They forgot day 1, they started to take the longview (forever is a long, long time). They forgot what slavery felt like.
Case 2 quitters are a different breed. They believe they are cured, can have just one, are tired of the daily struggle, etc. A lot of them never truly "closed the door" or burned their boats. In fact, a good portion were highly active early on. Maybe trying to sell it to themselves because they were not REALLY quit. Who knows, I am not a shrink.Â
Dabean, I "hope" you are case 1. I hope you read these messages, go back and reread your intro and conductor messages, your quit group, etc and pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your quit is about you. Others caving may have an impact on you, but it sure as hell cant impact your quit. You gotta be stronger than that.Â
New quitters - take heed. Focus on your quit today. Post roll today. Protect your quit first, then do what you can to help others today. Today. Today. Quit getting so caught up in the major milestones that you don't enjoy the daily victories, the real method to quitting. It is NOT about 100, 200, 1000, 5 years, etc. It is about TODAY. Posting roll today puts my quit at 1000%, no matter what happens, or what anyone else does.
To yoda listen..... nuff said
Completely agree with J2B, but with a minor tweak.
I do think it is entirely possible to leave KTC and remain quit. But I think that decision point is when you the quitter reach 100% confidence in your ability to quit on your own with no peer accountability. Not 90%, not 95%, not 99.5%. If there remains any chance of failure, you are not ready. If you find you leave and drop below 100%, it is time to get your ass back in here.
J2B is right, the rationale dabean wrote is addict babble. An excuse. Can a caver impact other quitters? Sure, they piss me off for not battling like everyone else and for failing/lying to themselves. Can they weaken my quit? No, I won't relinquish that power to them, I am in charge of my quit. Period.
dabean, if you 100% certain go for it. If not, consider sticking around...
But the reasons you gave for withdrawing are simply not valid...
Dean and I texted before I read this thread and though I don't hold the same view he does, I understood and respected his decision. When I asked him to come to KTC, I asked him for just 100 days and he promised that. I really didn't know if he would go to 200 because though he's loved the community, and is very serious about his quit, it's not something he foresaw himself doing forever. I was hoping as he stayed and settled in, he would find a quiet comfort in staying.
I'm sad he will be leaving and honestly, I hope he reconsiders too.
I got on tonight to look at the thread expecting to be pissed off at members looking for blood. If this thread were directed right at me I think I'd have trouble reading it clearly and seeing the true care behind the words but I do see it. Frankly, I'm really touched by it.
Dean, some of the finest quitters on this site have come here to say "Reconsider. Don't go." It probably feels like a dog pile but it's not. I've seen a couple dog piles. I've seen things that have made me cringe and thought no wonder someone is leaving. This isn't that. This is genuine care and sadness. This reminds me when jrizzle left (that one still stings).
I quoted T-Cell here because I think he's spot on and true. The only reason to leave is if you are 100% certain you can make it on your own. And respectfully little bro, I think it's too early for you. Some of my strongest craves have happened in the 200's.
I know you don't want to stay here forever. No judgment. And I do believe you are quit. But I just think you need to stay a little longer. Can you commit to one year? Try just posting and running for awhile. I know it feels pointless and why bother but can you just try it? I want you to experience one good crave while doing that and then let me know if that little act made a difference for you.
You put a lot of pressure on yourself. It's okay to be selfish for a bit and just post your number and leave. Just you being here is enough though. If you say no, I still respect that cause I do know you and know you would text me if you ran into a problem. But I think there is value in staying at least to the one year mark.
Much love to you.
Either ya get KTC or ya don't. I think we all see what happens when ya dont
I really will miss having my brother DaBean here all the time. The man has helped me through some tough times. I want him to know that he is and always will be my brother and not just in quit. For all you dicked up folks that are giving hell how about this 'Finger'. Hey brother Dean Hang loose and hang in. Keep in touch on the phone. Here's to you and to NAFAR!
Again all you haters - get the hell over yourselves. You ain't the reason we quit, you are help but not mom .. if we needed this much grief we wouldn't have come here; we have wives for that shit.
'bang head' Dang it, I tried my best to sink this thread and even had it off the front page.
Buh bye, see ya, take a hike and beat it. I can't believe your self-absorbed attention grabbing BS actually got you the "oh, please please PLEASE stay" drama that you were looking for.
:deadhorse:
-
I owe too large a debt to stop paying it forward or backward!
:ph43r: sadly shakes his bowed head and wonders where is the outcry from Nov 13?
You are right CBird. This deserves attention from the November '13 Skydivers. I signed up to post roll after 100 and then after 200 and will promise to post roll after 300. Why you ask ?? Because this is one road that I will not go alone. I witnessed some close friends cave along the way. I watched paddymac post roll and admitted to using at the same time. I saw dabean take the reigns and lead the train. I read about Zak stirring the group with drama and at the same time I enjoyed every minute of the suck and turmoil that seemed to encircle my group. One time I accidently "bumped" dabean from roll call. It happens. Learning to post roll in the beginning is a challenge in itself. Bean, you have been an inspiration to me and others. So, from one badass to another, get your head back on and post roll today. You can thank me later.