KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dchogs on May 16, 2011, 08:17:00 AM
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
Welcome to the site sir. Get comfy. Post Roll in August group.
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
Welcome to the site sir. Get comfy. Post Roll in August group.
Looks like you managed to post roll perfectly. You owe your wife big time for finding this site. I can't express enough how important it is to have your spouse on board with your quit. I assume she has read the "Spouses" section already. That was a huge eye-opener for my wife. She had no clue what was involved until she did some reading on this site. THere are some great supporters here. Use what you need from the site, leave the rest. PM me if you need anything.
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
Welcome to the site sir. Get comfy. Post Roll in August group.
Welcome brother Ben! People will be falling over each other to offer you help.
Don't worry bout f'ing up Roll. Just make your promise and keep it. We'll clean up your mess for a while.
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
Welcome to the site sir. Get comfy. Post Roll in August group.
Welcome brother Ben! People will be falling over each other to offer you help.
Don't worry bout f'ing up Roll. Just make your promise and keep it. We'll clean up your mess for a while.
Please PM me if you need any personal assistance in your quit. Feel free to rage in here. No need to fuss at the wife due to nicotine. We understand and have your back.
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i'm day 1 into my quit, and i'd like to thank my wife for finding me this site. last night, we were researching ways/plans to quit dip, and she found KTC. i'm a fairly regular poster on another message board, and when i saw that KTC has THIS kind of active, supportive membership, i knew it was for me.
i'd also like to thank the community already. i was gearing up for a June 1st quit date, and was going to taper off like the other sites tell you. well, my wife went to bed, and instead of putting in my lip, i started reading the forums. two hours later, i flushed 1.5 cans and went to bed a quit man. thanks for making me quit right away and realize that tomorrow wasn't going to cut it.
woke up this morning and could have sworn the house smelled like tobacco. nic bitch is playing with me already. fuck her and the bear she rode in on. i'm going to go try to figure out how to post roll without screwing it up.
thanks,
ben
Welcome to the site sir. Get comfy. Post Roll in August group.
Welcome brother Ben! People will be falling over each other to offer you help.
Don't worry bout f'ing up Roll. Just make your promise and keep it. We'll clean up your mess for a while.
Please PM me if you need any personal assistance in your quit. Feel free to rage in here. No need to fuss at the wife due to nicotine. We understand and have your back.
Ben...YOU THE MAN!!! Great decision you made last night.... Fight through the suck..Take it day by day hour by hour...There is a difference between a want and a need..You dont need the Bitch and after some time you arent going to want her around either....You need anything, a number, someone to bitch at PM me and I will help you in any way that I can......
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I'm happy to hear it Ben. I was in your shoes a week ago. Reading all the symptoms of quitting and related content on here really helped me with my expectations.
Basically shit gonna suck for 3-4 days and them it's gonna get a lot better. I'm day 8 and am a changed man from a week ago. You can do this. You simply just have to not have any nicotine today.
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
You will get to know them that way quicker than you think. That "August" forum isn't just for roll. You can post whatever you want in there. Instead of "QUOTE", just hit "ADD REPLY" and you can leave a new comment. Post some info about yourself or ask any question you might have. I gurantee somebody will have something to say about it. Give that a whirl. As long as you're quit and posting roll, the forum has very few rules about posting in there.
2nd: a lot of folks get acquainted in the "Live Chat" (icon in upper right corner of screen). I'm not big on chat, for several reasons. I have been in there a few times and it was pleasant. Some of my HOF group spend a lot of time in there, though.
3rd: begin to swap phone numbers with a few folks. I was very hesitant with this step, but it is crucial. Nothing keeps a quitter honest like knowing a flurry of texts will hit him if he misses a couple of posts. Pretty much anybody here will give you their digits if you drop them a PM and ask. This is also a good way to post your name on roll if you can't get to a PC occassionally. Text or call another member, and get them to post for you.
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
That's actually a pretty good question. The roll call thread doesn't seem all that conducive to chit chat.
I've been to the actual chat room numerous times. It's a great place to meet site veterans and think about not dipping. Especially during the foggy suck of days 2-4. I couldn't work for shit so I went in there and just stared at the chat which was entertaining and got me through it.
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.Â
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
That's actually a pretty good question. The roll call thread doesn't seem all that conducive to chit chat.
I've been to the actual chat room numerous times. It's a great place to meet site veterans and think about not dipping. Especially during the foggy suck of days 2-4. I couldn't work for shit so I went in there and just stared at the chat which was entertaining and got me through it.
In your quit group, feel free to ask questions, rage/vent , post links or do whatever else you want to share with your quit group. Your quit group is only as boring as you make it.
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Welcome ben. Check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen. Also, when you are looking for something to occupy your time, read this group from the very first post. Nope, you don't have to read it all at once. But there is some damn funny and very informative shit that goes on in there. Even to this day. Some bad ass quitters in there.
April 2009 The FOQ'ers...
index.php?showtopic=2015 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=2015)
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.Â
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
That's actually a pretty good question. The roll call thread doesn't seem all that conducive to chit chat.
I've been to the actual chat room numerous times. It's a great place to meet site veterans and think about not dipping. Especially during the foggy suck of days 2-4. I couldn't work for shit so I went in there and just stared at the chat which was entertaining and got me through it.
In your quit group, feel free to ask questions, rage/vent , post links or do whatever else you want to share with your quit group. Your quit group is only as boring as you make it.
The June 2011 quit group spends a large amount of time singing my praises. Each group takes on a life of its own.
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Welcome to the funhouse. The guys have been outstanding to keep me going (messages and in the thread). 1 day at a time - I'll do it with you --- and together, along with the others - we can post roll the next day.
It's gonna be a bitch getting through the first week --- as I'm still in it and really am having a few issues now and then. When I do - I jump on and search the threads to see what's going on. Don't cave - it's not what you want!
1 day.... 1 day!
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today's been good so far. the bitch, i think, is waiting for sundown. i've been eating a fair amount of candy. need to hit the store and grab some seeds.
i've given my wife my CC, ATM, cash. we've emptied the change in both cars, and the house change jar is right next to her side of the bed. no sneaking out to grab a quick can.
i can't believe what a pussy i was.
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thanks for the welcome, folks. it's been a busy morning, which is perfect. haven't had time to think about it until just now.Â
quick question... folks say to get to know your quit group, but it seems like the one thread in there is just roll calls. is there another place i'm missing?
That's actually a pretty good question. The roll call thread doesn't seem all that conducive to chit chat.
I've been to the actual chat room numerous times. It's a great place to meet site veterans and think about not dipping. Especially during the foggy suck of days 2-4. I couldn't work for shit so I went in there and just stared at the chat which was entertaining and got me through it.
In your quit group, feel free to ask questions, rage/vent , post links or do whatever else you want to share with your quit group. Your quit group is only as boring as you make it.
The June 2011 quit group spends a large amount of time singing my praises. Each group takes on a life of its own.
LOL
Smokey is an awesome quitter and we would change our name to Smokey's Bitches but then every group thereafter would have to be renamed to Smokey's Biches #2, #3..etc.
Talk about whatever you want in your group guys. Get to know your fellow quitters. You will need each other to stay quit.
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just in case folks are wondering, i posted roll but at the same time as pers, so mine isn't in the copy and paste. i'm on day 2, and i'm not using today.
also, if anyone wants to exchange contact info, let me know. whether you need me or think that i'll need you (and i'm sure i will), i don't care.
dch
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just in case folks are wondering, i posted roll but at the same time as pers, so mine isn't in the copy and paste. i'm on day 2, and i'm not using today.
also, if anyone wants to exchange contact info, let me know. whether you need me or think that i'll need you (and i'm sure i will), i don't care.
dch
Alright, bro, I put you back on your August roll. Folks need to see that early posting. Damn fine job with that! If somebody bumps you, just put your shit right back on there when you figure it out. It can be a tedious dance, but you'll eventually get used to it.
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thick, thick fog this morning. i'm talking to people and trying to figure out what the hell i'm talking about at the same time. really weird, out of body experience right now.
anything help make the fog lift other than time?
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thick, thick fog this morning. i'm talking to people and trying to figure out what the hell i'm talking about at the same time. really weird, out of body experience right now.
anything help make the fog lift other than time?
Time is the only thing that will make the fog lift. Remember this. Since you are quit it will never be as bad as the first three days. Hang on brother it is so worth it.
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I drink a lot of water on the foggy days. It seems to help. Hang in there buddy!!
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I don't think that anything helps. I am just trying to keep busy and occupy my mind.
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Teach 8th Grade kids American History....That was a blast...Standing in front of the room slapping myself in the face...That worked too......Yea seriously my kids thouhgt I was on crack.....Time is what does it....Try to stay busy, exercise and water....
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Teach 8th Grade kids American History....That was a blast...Standing in front of the room slapping myself in the face...That worked too......Yea seriously my kids thouhgt I was on crack.....Time is what does it....Try to stay busy, exercise and water....
i used to teach middle school science. the closest thing i did to teaching them in the fog was teaching hung over. tough work, with or without the fog.
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some pretty cool shit, this quitting.
i almost gave my wife a heart attack when i asked her to walk the dogs with me. that was grade-A, 100% prime tobaccey time 4 days ago (either me walking them solo, or my wife walking them with me at home). i've been more active, and more actively involved in the family. it's amazing how many lies i would tell myself and my family to get dip in my face.
it hasn't been peaches and cream, though, of course. i felt like sam kinison doing the dishes yesterday morning (day 3)... Sam Kinison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czmb6tEwFE8). it's funny cuz it's true.
feeling okay today. a couple cravings, nothing major or faith-shattering. seeds and gum, seeds and gum.
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some pretty cool shit, this quitting.
i almost gave my wife a heart attack when i asked her to walk the dogs with me. that was grade-A, 100% prime tobaccey time 4 days ago (either me walking them solo, or my wife walking them with me at home). i've been more active, and more actively involved in the family. it's amazing how many lies i would tell myself and my family to get dip in my face.
it hasn't been peaches and cream, though, of course. i felt like sam kinison doing the dishes yesterday morning (day 3)... Sam Kinison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czmb6tEwFE8). it's funny cuz it's true.
feeling okay today. a couple cravings, nothing major or faith-shattering. seeds and gum, seeds and gum.
Life will be improving day after day...as long as you quit one day at a time. Quit today...celebrate today.
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thick, thick fog this morning. i'm talking to people and trying to figure out what the hell i'm talking about at the same time. really weird, out of body experience right now.
anything help make the fog lift other than time?
chog - this one made me laugh - cuz I felt the same way - just could not explain it as well as you - it was like I was living in 3rd person. I am proud of you and your quit - You inspire us daily - Keep up the good work
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some pretty cool shit, this quitting.
i almost gave my wife a heart attack when i asked her to walk the dogs with me. that was grade-A, 100% prime tobaccey time 4 days ago (either me walking them solo, or my wife walking them with me at home). i've been more active, and more actively involved in the family. it's amazing how many lies i would tell myself and my family to get dip in my face.
it hasn't been peaches and cream, though, of course. i felt like sam kinison doing the dishes yesterday morning (day 3)... Sam Kinison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czmb6tEwFE8). it's funny cuz it's true.
feeling okay today. a couple cravings, nothing major or faith-shattering. seeds and gum, seeds and gum.
Me to the wife while feeding my addiction:
"I'll be back in a second. I'm returning that movie. No, there's no reason for all of us to load up. I'll just be gone a few minutes. Well, if you have to go to Target, then you just go and do that and return the movie while you're out."
Me to the wife last weekend:
"I'm going to return that movie. Why don't we all go and we can stop by the playground and let our daughter play and then go for some ice cream."
Freedom kicks all kinds of ass.
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some pretty cool shit, this quitting.
i almost gave my wife a heart attack when i asked her to walk the dogs with me. that was grade-A, 100% prime tobaccey time 4 days ago (either me walking them solo, or my wife walking them with me at home). i've been more active, and more actively involved in the family. it's amazing how many lies i would tell myself and my family to get dip in my face.
it hasn't been peaches and cream, though, of course. i felt like sam kinison doing the dishes yesterday morning (day 3)... Sam Kinison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czmb6tEwFE8). it's funny cuz it's true.
feeling okay today. a couple cravings, nothing major or faith-shattering. seeds and gum, seeds and gum.
Me to the wife while feeding my addiction:
"I'll be back in a second. I'm returning that movie. No, there's no reason for all of us to load up. I'll just be gone a few minutes. Well, if you have to go to Target, then you just go and do that and return the movie while you're out."
Me to the wife last weekend:
"I'm going to return that movie. Why don't we all go and we can stop by the playground and let our daughter play and then go for some ice cream."
Freedom kicks all kinds of ass.
exactly what i'm talking about. i'm ashamed at how badly i treated my family. they thought i was lazy, and i wish that was all it was.
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thick, thick fog this morning. i'm talking to people and trying to figure out what the hell i'm talking about at the same time. really weird, out of body experience right now.
anything help make the fog lift other than time?
chog - this one made me laugh - cuz I felt the same way - just could not explain it as well as you - it was like I was living in 3rd person. I am proud of you and your quit - You inspire us daily - Keep up the good work
it was really crazy... i was talking to a family about the virtues of coming to my private school and at the same time thinking "where was i going with this," "i better shut up real soon," "i'm not making any sense here," "why am i still talking," "am i talking or thinking right now," "shit, i'm talking not thinking."
trippy...
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thick, thick fog this morning. i'm talking to people and trying to figure out what the hell i'm talking about at the same time. really weird, out of body experience right now.
anything help make the fog lift other than time?
chog - this one made me laugh - cuz I felt the same way - just could not explain it as well as you - it was like I was living in 3rd person. I am proud of you and your quit - You inspire us daily - Keep up the good work
it was really crazy... i was talking to a family about the virtues of coming to my private school and at the same time thinking "where was i going with this," "i better shut up real soon," "i'm not making any sense here," "why am i still talking," "am i talking or thinking right now," "shit, i'm talking not thinking."
trippy...
I know of what you speak. It took a lot of coffee and a fair amount of time for my brain to finally engage today. Nothing quite like what you were laying out chogs but I was certainly in this perpetual haze/heavy/tired feeling where I made silly errors when working on papers or it took me 3 or 4 times as long to string some fairly simple thoughts together. Forget about anything deep or analytical.
As it approaches the noon hour my mind has finally kicked in and I am feeling half way normal but SOB it sucks having your faculties robbed from you. Then again I muse whether or not if would be funny to explain all of this to my betters and end it with "So over the next few months I'll be less than stellar and my mental faculties will be reduced, but I'll be here every day....so 1 out of 3 ain't bad braugh!"
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some pretty cool shit, this quitting.
i almost gave my wife a heart attack when i asked her to walk the dogs with me. that was grade-A, 100% prime tobaccey time 4 days ago (either me walking them solo, or my wife walking them with me at home). i've been more active, and more actively involved in the family. it's amazing how many lies i would tell myself and my family to get dip in my face.
it hasn't been peaches and cream, though, of course. i felt like sam kinison doing the dishes yesterday morning (day 3)... Sam Kinison (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czmb6tEwFE8). it's funny cuz it's true.
feeling okay today. a couple cravings, nothing major or faith-shattering. seeds and gum, seeds and gum.
Me to the wife while feeding my addiction:
"I'll be back in a second. I'm returning that movie. No, there's no reason for all of us to load up. I'll just be gone a few minutes. Well, if you have to go to Target, then you just go and do that and return the movie while you're out."
Me to the wife last weekend:
"I'm going to return that movie. Why don't we all go and we can stop by the playground and let our daughter play and then go for some ice cream."
Freedom kicks all kinds of ass.
exactly what i'm talking about. i'm ashamed at how badly i treated my family. they thought i was lazy, and i wish that was all it was.
We all did it. In the beginning of my quit, I was still romanticizing the good old days of dipping. As I progressed, I came to see that I didn't enjoy dipping at all, but rather had to dip to feel normal. Here's to our new normal, Dchogs. 'Cheers'
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two notable events yesterday:
1. while alcohol isn't a trigger, being around the boys while drinking is. i did that last night, and was (easily) able to turn down the can that was passed around. felt good to see the surprised looks. good friends... no pressure.
2. my wife got me some beef jerky "chew." an interesting experience all around, but i almost vomited when i absent-mindedly pulled out the "dip" and started eating it. disturbing.
what i've learned today:
1. being hungover is more of a trigger for me than being drunk. tough morning.
2. i'm really out of shape, but can still hit the three.
3. life is better quit.
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two notable events yesterday:
1. while alcohol isn't a trigger, being around the boys while drinking is. i did that last night, and was (easily) able to turn down the can that was passed around. felt good to see the surprised looks. good friends... no pressure.
2. my wife got me some beef jerky "chew." an interesting experience all around, but i almost vomited when i absent-mindedly pulled out the "dip" and started eating it. disturbing.
what i've learned today:
1. being hungover is more of a trigger for me than being drunk. tough morning.
2. i'm really out of shape, but can still hit the three.
3. life is better quit.
Way to stand tall bro. Nice work.
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so today was my planned "quit day." my 14th anniversary, beginning of the work week, and right after the holiday weekend.
in keeping with the theme of my original title "thanks," i want to thank the hell out of this site and all of you on it for showing me that you have to seize the moment when you know that you need to quit. there is no tomorrow in terms of "gonna quit." there's always another monday that makes more sense. because of ktc, i'm 16 days into my quit today instead of (theoretically) just starting.
i'm proud to be quit with all of you, especially razz, cornwallace, jbags, and august 11.
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i've been reading a lot of new intros today. it helps my quit, and i recommend it to those that are just one step ahead of the rookies here. in these introductions, i've noticed a lot of hoping, trying, giving my best shot, gotta work this time, etc. while i know it's normal (and i'm not ripping these new guys), i think i'm finally starting to see through the addict-speak. i recognized it before, but i'm seeing what it really means now.
below is something i was writing to a rookie, but felt that it was more of a response to where i've been and where i am now than a response to the rookies.
this isn't something you give an effort to. the nic bitch is too strong for trying. it doesn't matter if you try, really try or really, really, really, really, really try. it's the same old shit as just letting life happen to you. you need to take this quit by the fucking balls, brother. it isn't steering you through the process, you are steering it. you make the fucking decisions.
sounds scary, doesn't it. addicts are experts at pushing responsibility for their addiction onto other people or external events. i can't quit today, i'm going fishing. i was quit but then my dog died. i caved because my wife is a fucking bitch and doesn't understand.
what you'll realize, once you've quit and are out of the suck and the fog, is that accountability and freedom are really fucking awesome. you're making the decisions? to the addict, that's too hard. to the quit, it's a godsend... that way, no one else can force you to dip again. you're making the decisions!
once you start really fucking living life and making your own choices, you'll find that BEING FREE IS ADDICTIVE TOO. i heard on NPR yesterday that the neuro-pathways associated with self-control become more "developed" as they're used. that the person who exercises self control in one area is better able to exercise self control in another area.
43 days ago, that would have been some shocking shit. today, i can say that i know that first hand. i'm eating less. i'm exercising more. i'm hanging out with the kids more. i'm imposing my will on my life instead of letting my life get in the way of what i want.
quitting feels good. i do it every day, and i'm glad that i have the support of my family and KTC. even if i was quit for this long without KTC, i don't think i'd have the understanding and attitude i have now.
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Dc,
It's obvious to me that you get it, lots of wisdom in that post. Nice Job! From now on your greatest challenge is to remain vigilant in keeping that attitude. Never forget, as Loot says, the day you forget is the day you loose.
Keep up the good work ,
30
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D - Proud to be quit with you man! Keep leading the way - C
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Chogmeister,
I'm proud to be Quit with you today. I really enjoyed your last post. A newby would be lucky to get that kind of knowledge dropped on them. Granted, 1/2 of it would likely go in one-and out the other. It is a very special day when you 'Get it', and you've got it my friend. Like others have said, bottle this feeling and drive up, you never know when you might need it.
Congratulations on the 14th anniversary! Does your wife like the nice, shiny Quit you got her this year? I don't know about you, but my relationship with my wife has deepened 10-fold since my Quit. Half of the benefits she doesn't even notice, mostly that I no long disappear into the night to be alone with my grizzly mistress....or vanish from arguments so I can do stuff my face.
Keep up the good work!
CC
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Nicely done !! Congrats on the 14th Anniversary too.
Get the wife to let you buy some new pants... the ones without the little ring in the back.
STAY QUIT
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Nice. You get it. It does not make it easy, but like you said, you call the shots. Spread the word my friend. Freedom is the shit.
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Nice post DChogs. Proud to be quit with you today and everyday.
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You are my quit hero today.
You brought your fucking A-game today brother. Who knows how many folks you put on the path today. I'm so damn proud to be quitting with you sir.
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Way to quit man!! thanks for that!
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well, 54 days in, and i've finally had my first dip/cave dream... at least that i can remember. i've woken up a couple times with that post-blackout "oh shit what did i do last night" feeling, but nothing that i could actually recall.
i still don't remember a whole lot of the dream, but i clearly remember thinking "fuck it, why not." the can magically appeared, and the baccy was instantly in my lip. it was like i had an evil genie helping me cave. KTC was obviously on my mind, though... i thought "only 3-5% of quitters actually stay quit, so what's the big deal."
obviously felt like a maggot when i woke up until i realized it hadn't happened. it really helped solidify what i already knew... i'm an addict, and i can't let my guard down for a second. especially now in the 50-75 day funk. just one is a death certificate, because if my dedication to me quit ain't good enough to make it, i can't fathom what it would take.
A couple of things i read yesterday that have hit home:
Think about your quit brothers and sisters who help you up the mountain. Is it worth dragging them down with you? Wrap your nicotine scarred minds around this concept. Drill it deep into your thick skulls, and keep your fucking ass clean. There is no excuse, no reason, and no reprise. There is only faithfullness and accountibility to the brotherhood, and even more importantly to yourself.
In a sense I'm laying my honor out there for the long haul with this post, but I refuse to consider any other option. You will find over the next many days, months and years that I'm not very flashy or witty but I am consistent.
I will be here. If I'm not, I'm dead.
The problem, however, is that talk is cheap. It's easy to talk to the talk. The proof is in the pudding, my friends... I know the quit is real when you continue to post roll day after day. You don't have to tell me how much of a badass you are, you only have to prove it on a daily basis.
the one good thing that's come from all the fucking october 11 drama is the frequency that quit gospel is being preached. it's coming from the HoF level, of course, but the greener vets are taking what they've been told and distilling the message into their own unique blend. i'm diggin' those blends and the new flavors of quit.
thanks to everyone for the input this week... your quits have made mine stronger!
stay quit this weekend!
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Never really listened to the lyrics of "The Cave" before... Gotta be an addict song, at least it is to me. Putting it here for me, but hopefully it speaks to others too.
The Cave by Mumford and Sons
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
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And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
pretty much says it all for me...
very astute observation dchogs! great song too!!
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Nice post DC.
These words got me:
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
Thanks for posting that bro.
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Never really listened to the lyrics of "The Cave" before... Gotta be an addict song, at least it is to me. Putting it here for me, but hopefully it speaks to others too.
The Cave by Mumford and Sons
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand
So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Wow...I've been listening to these guys for a couple years and never made the connection. Thanks for posting!
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again, just for me and my journey. i struck upon a boxing metaphor that i like. thanks to sloop for helping me find this within...
Dear Nic,
You poisonous sack of crap, I'm done playing nice. For half my life I let you control me with your lies. That arrangement ended 16 days ago and it seems like you have been having some trouble understanding this so let me be clear. Go fuck yourself.
I tried to be polite, I'm a good guy after all. I quietly posted roll without cursing you. I moped around in a fog but I held my tongue. But you just can't stop. You keep whispering your vile filth.
Fuck you. I'm done. Don't fucking talk to me. The next time you try and get at my ear I'm getting in your face. I'm taking my Quit off the leash. You're MY bitch now.
I WILL win. This is my fucking life. This is my fucking body. If I were you I would walk the fuck away because you will be CRUSHED.
I'm fucking pissed. Don't touch me and don't touch my brothers. You've been warned.
Sincerely,
Dan
Nice. Man up and fight you motherfuckers. You can't take a round off against the nic bitch. We have cavers to the left and to the right that took off just one round, deep into the bout, and got fucking KO'd. Stupid palookas. They knew better. Their corner was telling them to hang tough each and every round. It only takes one.
The good thing is they're back in the fight. Round 1 though, and that can be fucking demoralizing.
Great post sloop. You've got some solid early rounds; let's see what you've got in the next couple.
Time to answer the bell, bitches.
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Just wanted to acknowledge this day.
You are a quit beast. I appreciate your words and the wisdom contained within, that you delivered to new and old today. You made it clear. You made it concise. You're personal message and philosophy are contagious. Thank you.
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"I'm taking my Quit off the leash"
That rocks!
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"I'm taking my Quit off the leash"
That rocks!
i wish i thought of that LL... i was quoting sloop from october (i think) there. i loved his rant that i quoted below.
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Keep up the fight. She knows you are now serious and she is pissed. Every battle won beats her down. Soon enough she will only rear her head on occasion. Let me know if I can help, otherwise, keep posting and know I read your posts and stand behind you.
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.Â
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.Â
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Keep up the fight. She knows you are now serious and she is pissed. Every battle won beats her down. Soon enough she will only rear her head on occasion. Let me know if I can help, otherwise, keep posting and know I read your posts and stand behind you.
Ditto to what Scowick said. You are one Bad- Ass quitter, you got this. You have taken control of your life back, and she ain't happy. This will pass very soon.
Proud to be quit with you,
30
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DC I don't read many other fuckers that perpetually inspire me to hunt down and drive a wooden stake through the heart of the nic bitch. I have read enough of your encouragement to know you can fight with the best and you are mentally strong as steal with conviction. You have quitter balls. You are battle tested. You own that bitch. I'm a big fan of your quit.
Now get in there and grab that liar by the throat. Look in its eyes as its forked tongue tries to hold in its last breath and squeeze. Get your justice my friend. That devil has tried to kill you. Tried to kill us. I'm with you brother every fucking step of the way.
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Kowing is half the BATTLE (http://www.geekologie.com/2009/07/aha_so_thats_the_other_half_of.php)..........
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.Â
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.Â
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Kowing is half the BATTLE (http://www.geekologie.com/2009/07/aha_so_thats_the_other_half_of.php)..........
Kowledge is good Lol http://www.cafepress.com/nationallampoon.33161132 (http://www.cafepress.com/nationallampoon.33161132)
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Came across this a little late DC.
I'm hoping today is working out better for you. Once again, I agree with Soul (seem to be following him around this morning) - you got yourself a bad-ass quit going on and I'm a HUGE fan of what you're doing. I know this wasn't a cry for help - because if you needed a cry for help I know my phone would be ringing.
You're quit is fucking rock solid and it makes mine tighter every day. Once you get past this crave, things will clear up for a little bit. My last big crave was in the 70s. I expect more... but I can handle it with the help of KTC.
You need anything let me know. Proud to be a Quithead with you.
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.Â
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.Â
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Kowing is half the BATTLE (http://www.geekologie.com/2009/07/aha_so_thats_the_other_half_of.php)..........
Kowledge is good Lol http://www.cafepress.com/nationallampoon.33161132 (http://www.cafepress.com/nationallampoon.33161132)
I need to get me some of those red and blue lazers B)
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Dchogs when those deep bone aching craves to fornicate with the nic bitch begins, i just post roll and after I do that and give my word, there is no way in hell I will cave!!! If it wasnt for you guys and KTC i would have caved months ago! Hang in there and stay cowboyed up. Proud to be quit today with you brother! nicofiend
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been in a bad way lately, and it hasn't been getting much better. at this point, i forget exactly what my cravings were like that first week, but these cravings feel just as strong in intensity and duration. all the old triggers are firing with hair triggers. i had to swing into the office to finish some nagging paperwork before my vacation tomorrow (i.e. prime dipping time 81 days ago), and i'm dying. it feels like all of my cells are crying out for the sweet dopamine release of nicotine.
i'm not sure if it's related to increased stress at work, a symptom of the 2 week case of the "blah's," or just a normal crave offensive by the nic bitch. likely all three, to be honest, but that doesn't make it easier.
i know with 110% certainty in the core of my being that if i were doing this alone, i'd have a lip full of grizz mint right now. it is the collective strength of KTC, the wisdom of my quit brothers, sisters, and supporters, and the knowledge that the nicotine door is shut (nailed, bolted, welded) that is keeping me clean. to anyone reading... don't worry. this is not a cry for help. my quit is rock fucking solid. a windshield slashing through a mosquito storm of nic bitches.
august, be aware. this might be coming for you. september, october, november... always stay vigilant. i was CRUISING along 20-70 days. my quit was "easy." i didn't think it would escalate like this ever again.
now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
DC,
Your quit is much stronger than the temporary funk you are going through. You got this brother!
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August 11~
This is a letter that I've been wanting to write for a while now, but thought that I should wait until I hit the Hall. Well, today's the day. Apologies in advance for preaching to the choir, but a man's gotta preach when he's moved...
and no, this isn't my HOF speech.
In the last 100 or so days, we've seen April, May, June, and July all enter the hall; we've also seen some of those that hit the hall fade away into the ether never to be heard from again. Certainly, I do not think less of the people that fade away or doubt their quit; I also do not think less of the quit groups below the line that shed active members... it happens to every group regardless of the esprit de corps.
That being said, I want and expect more out of August 11. I want all of us to remain active in roll... at least ours, but preferably other quit groups as well. We are entering the hall with great energy in our own way. We've always been a quiet group, but regardless of how chatty YOU were, stick around and post roll. Your quit makes everyone's stronger, and more importantly, there is a ton of collective quit knowledge represented in our quits. It is our responsibility to pass along that knowledge to future quit groups. It is our duty to inspire, cajole, and chastise future quitters. You cannot do that without being here and posting roll.
Think of what Cancrusher, 30, Gmann, Scowick, NOLAQ, and/or Smokey meant to your quit; imagine your quit without them. It's weaker, I bet... I know mine would have been. THAT'S what future quitters would be missing without you. They stuck around for us; we need to stick around for the new quit groups and become their quit guides and sages.
Stick around, August 11. You've made my quit stronger for the last 100 days, and I'll need you ALL for the next 100. So do the new quitters. So do the vets. I learn something every day about myself because of you, and I'd hate to lose that.
So I challenge and charge you, August 11, continue to post roll and remain active on KTC. It is for your benefit, and ours. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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Dchogs,
A big congrats on hitting this milestone.
I am glad to quit with you today.
whsii
Day 11
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I am with you--on to the second floor!
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dchogs I am with you! Gotta stay strong!!! Nico
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Freedom is the shit. Let yours shine.
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Freedom is the shit. Let yours shine.
Indeed. Y'all have made it this far by posting your promise and keeping it daily. No need to fix what ain't broke. Besides, it takes two minutes and it don't cost nothin'. My vote is for sticking around.
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It is our responsibility to pass along that knowledge to future quit groups. It is our duty to inspire, cajole, and chastise future quitters. You cannot do that without being here and posting roll.
I accept. I will remain on the site and help others as those before helped me.
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Great job DChogs. This site still helps me especially after HOF.
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DC seems to know the way out of this hole. I'm with him.
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i'm sure not many of you know, but i work at a boarding school. there's something about boarding school culture that seems to inherently PROMOTE dipping despite everyone's "best attempts" to stop it from happening. the kids that got me dipping in college came from boarding schools, so i feel an extra responsibility to do more than is currently being done. i caught a kid dipping last night and spent some time counseling him instead of writing up the violation... i'm hoping the education, an understanding (but not accepting) ear, and the sparing of the whip will push him int he right direction. probably not... 16 year old kids don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. we were all there, and probably dipping too.
so my question(s) for the fine minds of KTC center around developing a program that is part educational, part support, and part reflective. does anyone have any experience in starting something like that for kids (grades 9-12)? i'd love to just have them join here because this is what they need... i just need to somehow mimic what KTC does and make it happen in real life, face-to-face. please let me know if you have experience or even just some ideas.
my basic thoughts- a "breakfast club" that meets for 15 minutes. start by reviewing the rules of the group, invite the group to accept the rules, and have a quick verbal roll call. then i was thinking of either letting the kids riff if they want to (similar to posting in the intro section or ranting in your quit group) or bring in a HoF speech or a post from Words of Wisdom (assuming i have chewie's and/or the author's permission... do i need that?) that we can then talk about. the group breaks up with handshakes and the kids go about their day.
kids caught dipping would be given the option to simply accept their tobacco violation punishment or to attend the breakfast club (no punishment). if they attend breakfast club and get caught, they get the tobacco violation punishment regardless but can come back to the group with a "caver post."
what do you guys and gals think? this is a lot to bite off as it's a huge problem and teenaged boys aren't typically the most outgoing in terms of seeking and using available help. i also travel a fair amount and would need to have a deputy of some sort some how.
anyway, i'll stop the mental diarrhea and listen to your advice now.
thanks for your help, and i'm damned proud to be quit with each and every one of you.
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i'm sure not many of you know, but i work at a boarding school. there's something about boarding school culture that seems to inherently PROMOTE dipping despite everyone's "best attempts" to stop it from happening. the kids that got me dipping in college came from boarding schools, so i feel an extra responsibility to do more than is currently being done. i caught a kid dipping last night and spent some time counseling him instead of writing up the violation... i'm hoping the education, an understanding (but not accepting) ear, and the sparing of the whip will push him int he right direction. probably not... 16 year old kids don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. we were all there, and probably dipping too.
so my question(s) for the fine minds of KTC center around developing a program that is part educational, part support, and part reflective. does anyone have any experience in starting something like that for kids (grades 9-12)? i'd love to just have them join here because this is what they need... i just need to somehow mimic what KTC does and make it happen in real life, face-to-face. please let me know if you have experience or even just some ideas.
my basic thoughts- a "breakfast club" that meets for 15 minutes. start by reviewing the rules of the group, invite the group to accept the rules, and have a quick verbal roll call. then i was thinking of either letting the kids riff if they want to (similar to posting in the intro section or ranting in your quit group) or bring in a HoF speech or a post from Words of Wisdom (assuming i have chewie's and/or the author's permission... do i need that?) that we can then talk about. the group breaks up with handshakes and the kids go about their day.
kids caught dipping would be given the option to simply accept their tobacco violation punishment or to attend the breakfast club (no punishment). if they attend breakfast club and get caught, they get the tobacco violation punishment regardless but can come back to the group with a "caver post."
what do you guys and gals think? this is a lot to bite off as it's a huge problem and teenaged boys aren't typically the most outgoing in terms of seeking and using available help. i also travel a fair amount and would need to have a deputy of some sort some how.
anyway, i'll stop the mental diarrhea and listen to your advice now.
thanks for your help, and i'm damned proud to be quit with each and every one of you.
sound like somethin ricko wood of done. i'll text his ass and get him over here. assides the fucker aint posted up in like a month.
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i'm sure not many of you know, but i work at a boarding school. there's something about boarding school culture that seems to inherently PROMOTE dipping despite everyone's "best attempts" to stop it from happening. the kids that got me dipping in college came from boarding schools, so i feel an extra responsibility to do more than is currently being done. i caught a kid dipping last night and spent some time counseling him instead of writing up the violation... i'm hoping the education, an understanding (but not accepting) ear, and the sparing of the whip will push him int he right direction. probably not... 16 year old kids don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. we were all there, and probably dipping too.
so my question(s) for the fine minds of KTC center around developing a program that is part educational, part support, and part reflective. does anyone have any experience in starting something like that for kids (grades 9-12)? i'd love to just have them join here because this is what they need... i just need to somehow mimic what KTC does and make it happen in real life, face-to-face. please let me know if you have experience or even just some ideas.
my basic thoughts- a "breakfast club" that meets for 15 minutes. start by reviewing the rules of the group, invite the group to accept the rules, and have a quick verbal roll call. then i was thinking of either letting the kids riff if they want to (similar to posting in the intro section or ranting in your quit group) or bring in a HoF speech or a post from Words of Wisdom (assuming i have chewie's and/or the author's permission... do i need that?) that we can then talk about. the group breaks up with handshakes and the kids go about their day.
kids caught dipping would be given the option to simply accept their tobacco violation punishment or to attend the breakfast club (no punishment). if they attend breakfast club and get caught, they get the tobacco violation punishment regardless but can come back to the group with a "caver post."
what do you guys and gals think? this is a lot to bite off as it's a huge problem and teenaged boys aren't typically the most outgoing in terms of seeking and using available help. i also travel a fair amount and would need to have a deputy of some sort some how.Â
anyway, i'll stop the mental diarrhea and listen to your advice now.
thanks for your help, and i'm damned proud to be quit with each and every one of you.
sound like somethin ricko wood of done. i'll text his ass and get him over here. assides the fucker aint posted up in like a month.
ok dchogs man ricko texted me back and shood be checkin this out to nite. i no he works with the kids so heres hopin he can help out.
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i'm sure not many of you know, but i work at a boarding school. there's something about boarding school culture that seems to inherently PROMOTE dipping despite everyone's "best attempts" to stop it from happening. the kids that got me dipping in college came from boarding schools, so i feel an extra responsibility to do more than is currently being done. i caught a kid dipping last night and spent some time counseling him instead of writing up the violation... i'm hoping the education, an understanding (but not accepting) ear, and the sparing of the whip will push him int he right direction. probably not... 16 year old kids don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. we were all there, and probably dipping too.
so my question(s) for the fine minds of KTC center around developing a program that is part educational, part support, and part reflective. does anyone have any experience in starting something like that for kids (grades 9-12)? i'd love to just have them join here because this is what they need... i just need to somehow mimic what KTC does and make it happen in real life, face-to-face. please let me know if you have experience or even just some ideas.
my basic thoughts- a "breakfast club" that meets for 15 minutes. start by reviewing the rules of the group, invite the group to accept the rules, and have a quick verbal roll call. then i was thinking of either letting the kids riff if they want to (similar to posting in the intro section or ranting in your quit group) or bring in a HoF speech or a post from Words of Wisdom (assuming i have chewie's and/or the author's permission... do i need that?) that we can then talk about. the group breaks up with handshakes and the kids go about their day.
kids caught dipping would be given the option to simply accept their tobacco violation punishment or to attend the breakfast club (no punishment). if they attend breakfast club and get caught, they get the tobacco violation punishment regardless but can come back to the group with a "caver post."
what do you guys and gals think? this is a lot to bite off as it's a huge problem and teenaged boys aren't typically the most outgoing in terms of seeking and using available help. i also travel a fair amount and would need to have a deputy of some sort some how.Â
anyway, i'll stop the mental diarrhea and listen to your advice now.
thanks for your help, and i'm damned proud to be quit with each and every one of you.
sound like somethin ricko wood of done. i'll text his ass and get him over here. assides the fucker aint posted up in like a month.
ok dchogs man ricko texted me back and shood be checkin this out to nite. i no he works with the kids so heres hopin he can help out.
thanks for your help, s.
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Sorry I missed this yesterday DC. I think that's a great idea.
My question is how you sell the notion of the breakfast club as an opportunity rather than punishment to a 14 year old? I remember being in such a situation and opting for signing a "no use" contract versus a tobacco class-like thing. The class felt like punishment.
Also, would the parents be notified? And what literature is going out to the parents? I know in an educational setting like that the act of sending literature is akin to admitting the school has a problem.
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Sorry I missed this yesterday DC. I think that's a great idea.
My question is how you sell the notion of the breakfast club as an opportunity rather than punishment to a 14 year old? I remember being in such a situation and opting for signing a "no use" contract versus a tobacco class-like thing. The class felt like punishment.
Also, would the parents be notified? And what literature is going out to the parents? I know in an educational setting like that the act of sending literature is akin to admitting the school has a problem.
good points... stuff i thought of as well, though i'm not sure i have the answers.
for the punishment question... i was hoping that the short nature of the group (15 min) and the fact that it's essentially a get out of jail free card for one tobacco violation would help. 15 minutes can be a long time for a teenaged kid though.
notifying the parents... another tough one. i'm honestly not sure if the parents are notified for each tobacco violation or not. they probably should be. if they are, then having an educational/supportive alternative might be welcomed.
at the end of the day, what we're doing isn't working all that well. i'm willing to try something because failure would just mean the status quo continued to exist unchanged.
also, to anyone reading, feel free to poke holes in my idea (not that that's what soul was doing or trying to do). it'll make the end produce stronger. just be nice about it, i'm delicate. :blink:
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Everyone I know who is a product of boarding school talks about how it was a rite of passage to use tobacco. It's in every movie, too. I think even the preppy handbook talks about where the best place on campus is to hide and smoke.
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Everyone I know who is a product of boarding school talks about how it was a rite of passage to use tobacco. It's in every movie, too. I think even the preppy handbook talks about where the best place on campus is to hide and smoke.
The Dead Can Society
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DC,
I went to boarding school and you are correct, it was part of our "enviroment". It was a long time ago (92-96) but that's also when I started dipping. Fast forward to now, 34 years old, and I am fighting an addiction that I wish I would have been educated about when I first got caught.
Our punishment for tobacco was either rockpile-digging a hole and filling it back up. Or you could sit in detention for four Saturdays where you had to write a specific sentence over and over, 10 pages front and back worth. Either way, it the reason you brought this up, we only saw it as we got caught doing something we weren't supposed to. Nothing else was gained.
I am not sure what the punishments are at your school but maybe if you could do something along the lines of the student having to do a report on consequences of dipping and then present it. The work would have to be done Saturday mornings. This would still leave some level of punishment intact. Otherwise I think you are going to have a problem with parents and handbook guidelines on tobacco tolerance.
I agree with you, it's gonna be pretty hard to convince a teenager to quit but if you can at least put the knowledge of what they are doing into their head. Might make them think about quitting a lot sooner. I think that would have influenced me. If you wanna talk more, PM or give a call. -cas
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Everyone I know who is a product of boarding school talks about how it was a rite of passage to use tobacco. It's in every movie, too. I think even the preppy handbook talks about where the best place on campus is to hide and smoke.
and screw
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Sorry I missed this yesterday DC. I think that's a great idea.
My question is how you sell the notion of the breakfast club as an opportunity rather than punishment to a 14 year old? I remember being in such a situation and opting for signing a "no use" contract versus a tobacco class-like thing. The class felt like punishment.
Also, would the parents be notified? And what literature is going out to the parents? I know in an educational setting like that the act of sending literature is akin to admitting the school has a problem.
good points... stuff i thought of as well, though i'm not sure i have the answers.
for the punishment question... i was hoping that the short nature of the group (15 min) and the fact that it's essentially a get out of jail free card for one tobacco violation would help. 15 minutes can be a long time for a teenaged kid though.
notifying the parents... another tough one. i'm honestly not sure if the parents are notified for each tobacco violation or not. they probably should be. if they are, then having an educational/supportive alternative might be welcomed.
at the end of the day, what we're doing isn't working all that well. i'm willing to try something because failure would just mean the status quo continued to exist unchanged.
also, to anyone reading, feel free to poke holes in my idea (not that that's what soul was doing or trying to do). it'll make the end produce stronger. just be nice about it, i'm delicate. :blink:
If you're going to tell the parents, I definitely think you need to let the kids know that it's policy, if they get busted, the parents get told.
That way they know beforehand, so they don't feel like you stabbed them in the back when you do tell the parents. Lose their trust in that way and your whole project is sunk.
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Everyone I know who is a product of boarding school talks about how it was a rite of passage to use tobacco. It's in every movie, too. I think even the preppy handbook talks about where the best place on campus is to hide and smoke.
smoking is less prevalent than dipping here... all-boys school, and smoking is harder to hide. 99% of non-dipping faculty have problems picking out the ninja dipping students. i can spot a ninja dipper a mile away... can't bullshit a bullshitter.
it's kids looking for a buzz, looking to stretch/break rules, and typical teenaged immorality bullshit.
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DC,
I went to boarding school and you are correct, it was part of our "enviroment". It was a long time ago (92-96) but that's also when I started dipping. Fast forward to now, 34 years old, and I am fighting an addiction that I wish I would have been educated about when I first got caught.
Our punishment for tobacco was either rockpile-digging a hole and filling it back up. Or you could sit in detention for four Saturdays where you had to write a specific sentence over and over, 10 pages front and back worth. Either way, it the reason you brought this up, we only saw it as we got caught doing something we weren't supposed to. Nothing else was gained.
I am not sure what the punishments are at your school but maybe if you could do something along the lines of the student having to do a report on consequences of dipping and then present it. The work would have to be done Saturday mornings. This would still leave some level of punishment intact. Otherwise I think you are going to have a problem with parents and handbook guidelines on tobacco tolerance.
I agree with you, it's gonna be pretty hard to convince a teenager to quit but if you can at least put the knowledge of what they are doing into their head. Might make them think about quitting a lot sooner. I think that would have influenced me. If you wanna talk more, PM or give a call. -cas
i'm not exposed as much to the actual follow through on punishments, but i'm pretty sure we tried the essay route with few, if any, results. i was thinking/hoping that a "support group" option would cover the educational portion along with an accountability portion too.
there isn't a single great solution, or else every boarding school (hell, every school) would be doing that. it's really a universal problem.
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If you're going to tell the parents, I definitely think you need to let the kids know that it's policy, if they get busted, the parents get told.
That way they know beforehand, so they don't feel like you stabbed them in the back when you do tell the parents. Lose their trust in that way and your whole project is sunk.
absolutely. i have a great relationship with 99% of the kids and wouldn't fuck em over like that. i'm not sure what the legal issues really are... the parents might HAVE to be informed that 1) there was a tobacco violation and 2) the student has opted for a support group option.
there are obviously a lot of details that i'd have to figure out (permission forms, etc)... i'm struggling to even have the big picture issues come into focus.
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hay dchogs man i see my boy ricko posted up roll yesterday. on the off chanse he comes back to day i'm bumpin your thred up so's he can find it. i left a note in roll for him.
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I am so excited I have a new best friend in Quit. For what ever reason I kind of took a 50 or so day vacation from KTC, Syndrome texted me about your post and then Butch asked me to post for him and yea I am back in. So first start with what you know about what your up against. Here is your state's grade: http://www.stateoftobaccocontrol.org/st ... /virginia/ (http://www.stateoftobaccocontrol.org/state-grades/virginia/)
Texas is not any better.
I am a high school counselor and I was very fortunate that I could go into my office when I quit and shut the door. I chewed for 23 years and I was a complete mess. I squirreled away cans all over the place in my desk, in my file cabinets, behind bookshelves in the Library, I kept finding them.
about two weeks in I was have having a really bad day and our quarterback had come in to talk to me about college, but I basically unloaded all my grief of dipping to him. Luckily we had a great relationship and he knew that dipping sucked and could see people struggle with it so he was a great support for me and others became great support as well. I really wanted to fix every body and not let anyone dip. that part did not work out so well.
So I made it through my first year dip free and so at the beginning of last school year, I was determined to make a difference in hopefully deterring people from starting tobacco, chewing or smoking.
At first I really had no support from anyone, it was going to be another distraction from testing and curriculum stuff. (They cover it in health class and that is enough.) I signed up for a kick butts day at their website: http://www.tobaccofreekids.org/what_we_ ... butts_day/ (http://www.tobaccofreekids.org/what_we_do/youth_initiatives/kick_butts_day/) , This has been a really helpful website for me and others. It sparked lots of interest and because the State of Texas mandated that schools start public messages against bullying, tobacco, and alcohol, I got some support because nobody else really had to do anything.
My most favorite of all clubs I have come across is the REBEL clubs of New Jersey. http://www.monroetwp.k12.nj.us/HighSchool/Clubs/REBEL/ (http://www.monroetwp.k12.nj.us/HighSchool/Clubs/REBEL/)
The name is catchy, the wording is great, and the target audience are a bunch of Rebels that need a voice.
I have tried several times to form an accountability program for students in need in a group setting, but without much success, but I have found that as I have put myself out there as a person people can talk to about withdrawals and facts of tobacco I have been sought out by students.
The catchy posters that are available from state programs are very helpful. I have a couple of extra ones I do not mind sending you. my email at work is richard.armstrong@cfisd.net (http://mailto:richard.armstrong@cfisd.net) send me your mailing address at school and I will ship them to you.
When you let everyone around you know what your doing, then your accountability circle gets really big.
I quit because I was sick of being a slave to nic. My own kids (three daughters are my biggest cheerleaders).
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Rick,
Thanks so much for all of those links and suggestions. I'm traveling right now and about ready to dive into a meeting (and can't post more), but I'll be in touch via PM.
Thanks again!
Thanks for your help too, Syndrome!
Proud to be quit with you guys...
dch
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day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
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day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
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day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
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day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS IT AIN'T OKAY.
You're a fucking gladiator of quit DC. When the coliseum of quit gets erected, there will be carvings of great battles with the nic bitch. I'm certain you'll have a few up on the wall.
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day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS IT AIN'T OKAY.
You're a fucking gladiator of quit DC. When the coliseum of quit gets erected, there will be carvings of great battles with the nic bitch. I'm certain you'll have a few up on the wall.
For what it's worth, I haven't had a serious crave in years. A passing thought on occasion. That's about it.
It gets so much better.
I protect my quit everyday by posting roll. But it is so much easier these days. Not trying to brag, just letting you know it gets to the point where it seems natural that you are quit for good.
-
day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS IT AIN'T OKAY.
You're a fucking gladiator of quit DC. When the coliseum of quit gets erected, there will be carvings of great battles with the nic bitch. I'm certain you'll have a few up on the wall.
For what it's worth, I haven't had a serious crave in years. A passing thought on occasion. That's about it.
It gets so much better.
I protect my quit everyday by posting roll. But it is so much easier these days. Not trying to brag, just letting you know it gets to the point where it seems natural that you are quit for good.
Not even a trigger-related fleeting crave? Nada?
-
day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS IT AIN'T OKAY.
You're a fucking gladiator of quit DC. When the coliseum of quit gets erected, there will be carvings of great battles with the nic bitch. I'm certain you'll have a few up on the wall.
For what it's worth, I haven't had a serious crave in years. A passing thought on occasion. That's about it.
It gets so much better.
I protect my quit everyday by posting roll. But it is so much easier these days. Not trying to brag, just letting you know it gets to the point where it seems natural that you are quit for good.
Not even a trigger-related fleeting crave? Nada?
The worst I get is a passing thought every several months. lasts a few seconds. I laugh at myself for even thinking about and by that time it has passed.
-
day 165
not sure how true this is, but it is something i was pondering on a long drive yesterday.
there's a certain about of shit that you have to go through in order to be quit. it's not necessarily a set amount that's the same for everyone, but i think that a quit requires a certain amount of "skin," so to speak.Â
the reason this is on my mind is that i'm STILL (on day 165) having daily craves, significant craves. on the drive out to richmond yesterday, the fact that i posted roll was literally the only thing that kept that shit out of my mouth. my quit is strong enough to fight these craves, but they're fucking worse than i experience in my first two weeks (at least as i remember them... the mind sometimes looks back on history too fondly). if it wasn't for this site, i'd be using again. guaranteed.
so, back to the "skin" thought... my early quit was pretty easy compared to what i saw other folks going through. i didn't crave all that much, and those craves were easy for a new quitter to get through. the other folks were freaking out... staying quit but freaking out. they went all in early; i didn't have to.
now, i think the nic bitch is seeing how serious i really am. she didn't test me all that much early, but she's not fucking around now. the other folks that had to really man up early, she knows they're quit. i'm still an unknown to her, i guess, and she wants to break me.
not sure if that's valid or if it's just me rationalizing my personal experience. in any case, my current experience definitely highlights the need for folks to post roll after they hit the hall. you never know when you'll need that extra something that keeping your word provides, and it's better to post roll and not need it than to skip a day and leave the door cracked open just a bit.
Never leave a crack in your fortress. Almost any enemy can find your weakness given the proper opportunity.
I was still having a pretty rough go of it about where you are. It lasted well into the two hundreds for me.
I know you hear this all them time. It will keep getting easier and much better.
I do still have an occasional crave ( once a month maybe). But they are nowhere near as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. It's more like a passing thought.
About three or four weeks ago I was watching TV with the Mrs' and one came over me and I said wow hun, I just had a feeling of wanting a dip, she looked at me and said you don't do that anymore. To which I said you are right and it was gone. Just like that.
Given enough time, it will become so for you as well. Your doing great. Hang in there and just remember..........Never Again!!!!
thanks, raz.
you're right about leaving cracks open... can't do it and stay quit. fortunately, i know i'm quit, so i look at my craves with an almost academic interest. why they're happening, why they're intensifying, etc.
even at my weakest moment now, i'm rock solid in my quit, and if i don't feel that confident, i have a plan to enact. i'm pretty sure soul, per, corn, and razz ain't going to say having one's okay. :)
YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS IT AIN'T OKAY.
You're a fucking gladiator of quit DC. When the coliseum of quit gets erected, there will be carvings of great battles with the nic bitch. I'm certain you'll have a few up on the wall.
For what it's worth, I haven't had a serious crave in years. A passing thought on occasion. That's about it.
It gets so much better.
I protect my quit everyday by posting roll. But it is so much easier these days. Not trying to brag, just letting you know it gets to the point where it seems natural that you are quit for good.
Not even a trigger-related fleeting crave? Nada?
The worst I get is a passing thought every several months. lasts a few seconds. I laugh at myself for even thinking about and by that time it has passed.
Nice. Look forward to those days. They are fleeting and bullshit but it will be nice - one day - to get to a point where they do not enter the ol' noggin.
-
it's great revisiting this thread... a lot has changed in the last month plus. daily craves have largely gone away (for now... i'm sure the bitch'll be back), and quit life continues to be good. to those in slumps, it gets better. my worst periods was in the 80's and 160's. the nic bitch must be on an 80 day cycle...
several dipping related experiences this weekend...
1) on my way to memphis for the st. jude's marathon (and associated races), we had some veggies for the car ride. my wife, passing me the ranch, asked me if i wanted a dip. what would normally have launched a series of craves (that i couldn't satisfy in the car with the fam) and a wave of guilt actually allowed me to say, "i haven't had a dip in 200 days, but i'll take some ranch!" wife and kids gave me a round of applause (the 2nd 100 days went faster for all of us!).
2) my family spent the night in knoxville. there, tony gwynn's cancer story came on ESPN. wife and kids both just looked at me and said "we're glad you don't do that anymore." me too.
3) i'm not a runner. i run occasionally, but i'm not a runner. so while my wife and friends were doing the st. judes 1/2 marathon, i did the 5k with my kids and the pregnant women (ouch, right!?!). i'll tell you what... seeing all the families along the side of the race course with signs saying thank you, all the kids that were already cancer survivors thanks to st. jude's, and spending the weekend with a friend's little girl that's beaten her cancer twice and about to start treatment again... i'm not sure what the fuck i was thinking every time i willingly gave myself a dose of carcinogen. st. jude's, the families, and especially the kids are amazing in so many ways. i'm doing it again next year, not only to give me something to train for (at least the 1/2, maybe more) but also to give my quit that extra boost.
4) to all the new quitters out there that might give this a quick read, the most important things i did this weekend while i was away: posting roll and keeping my word.
-
it's great revisiting this thread... a lot has changed in the last month plus. daily craves have largely gone away (for now... i'm sure the bitch'll be back), and quit life continues to be good. to those in slumps, it gets better. my worst periods was in the 80's and 160's. the nic bitch must be on an 80 day cycle...
several dipping related experiences this weekend...
1) on my way to memphis for the st. jude's marathon (and associated races), we had some veggies for the car ride. my wife, passing me the ranch, asked me if i wanted a dip. what would normally have launched a series of craves (that i couldn't satisfy in the car with the fam) and a wave of guilt actually allowed me to say, "i haven't had a dip in 200 days, but i'll take some ranch!" wife and kids gave me a round of applause (the 2nd 100 days went faster for all of us!).
2) my family spent the night in knoxville. there, tony gwynn's cancer story came on ESPN. wife and kids both just looked at me and said "we're glad you don't do that anymore." me too.
3) i'm not a runner. i run occasionally, but i'm not a runner. so while my wife and friends were doing the st. judes 1/2 marathon, i did the 5k with my kids and the pregnant women (ouch, right!?!). i'll tell you what... seeing all the families along the side of the race course with signs saying thank you, all the kids that were already cancer survivors thanks to st. jude's, and spending the weekend with a friend's little girl that's beaten her cancer twice and about to start treatment again... i'm not sure what the fuck i was thinking every time i willingly gave myself a dose of carcinogen. st. jude's, the families, and especially the kids are amazing in so many ways. i'm doing it again next year, not only to give me something to train for (at least the 1/2, maybe more) but also to give my quit that extra boost.
4) to all the new quitters out there that might give this a quick read, the most important things i did this weekend while i was away: posting roll and keeping my word.
Read it brother! Thanks for sharing.
-
it's great revisiting this thread... a lot has changed in the last month plus. daily craves have largely gone away (for now... i'm sure the bitch'll be back), and quit life continues to be good. to those in slumps, it gets better. my worst periods was in the 80's and 160's. the nic bitch must be on an 80 day cycle...
several dipping related experiences this weekend...
1) on my way to memphis for the st. jude's marathon (and associated races), we had some veggies for the car ride. my wife, passing me the ranch, asked me if i wanted a dip. what would normally have launched a series of craves (that i couldn't satisfy in the car with the fam) and a wave of guilt actually allowed me to say, "i haven't had a dip in 200 days, but i'll take some ranch!" wife and kids gave me a round of applause (the 2nd 100 days went faster for all of us!).
2) my family spent the night in knoxville. there, tony gwynn's cancer story came on ESPN. wife and kids both just looked at me and said "we're glad you don't do that anymore." me too.
3) i'm not a runner. i run occasionally, but i'm not a runner. so while my wife and friends were doing the st. judes 1/2 marathon, i did the 5k with my kids and the pregnant women (ouch, right!?!). i'll tell you what... seeing all the families along the side of the race course with signs saying thank you, all the kids that were already cancer survivors thanks to st. jude's, and spending the weekend with a friend's little girl that's beaten her cancer twice and about to start treatment again... i'm not sure what the fuck i was thinking every time i willingly gave myself a dose of carcinogen. st. jude's, the families, and especially the kids are amazing in so many ways. i'm doing it again next year, not only to give me something to train for (at least the 1/2, maybe more) but also to give my quit that extra boost.
4) to all the new quitters out there that might give this a quick read, the most important things i did this weekend while i was away: posting roll and keeping my word.
Right on Brother...item #4 is ALWAYS the most important thing.
Keep it going and congrats on that 200...I'm less than a month away from 300 and I can't believe how fast time flies.
I will never forget...I will post roll...I will hold my brothers accountable....I will expect the same in return.
Thanks for your commitment to KTC, your quit Bro's yourself. Proud to be quit with you today DChogs!
-
it's great revisiting this thread... a lot has changed in the last month plus. daily craves have largely gone away (for now... i'm sure the bitch'll be back), and quit life continues to be good. to those in slumps, it gets better. my worst periods was in the 80's and 160's. the nic bitch must be on an 80 day cycle...
several dipping related experiences this weekend...
1) on my way to memphis for the st. jude's marathon (and associated races), we had some veggies for the car ride. my wife, passing me the ranch, asked me if i wanted a dip. what would normally have launched a series of craves (that i couldn't satisfy in the car with the fam) and a wave of guilt actually allowed me to say, "i haven't had a dip in 200 days, but i'll take some ranch!" wife and kids gave me a round of applause (the 2nd 100 days went faster for all of us!).
2) my family spent the night in knoxville. there, tony gwynn's cancer story came on ESPN. wife and kids both just looked at me and said "we're glad you don't do that anymore." me too.
3) i'm not a runner. i run occasionally, but i'm not a runner. so while my wife and friends were doing the st. judes 1/2 marathon, i did the 5k with my kids and the pregnant women (ouch, right!?!). i'll tell you what... seeing all the families along the side of the race course with signs saying thank you, all the kids that were already cancer survivors thanks to st. jude's, and spending the weekend with a friend's little girl that's beaten her cancer twice and about to start treatment again... i'm not sure what the fuck i was thinking every time i willingly gave myself a dose of carcinogen. st. jude's, the families, and especially the kids are amazing in so many ways. i'm doing it again next year, not only to give me something to train for (at least the 1/2, maybe more) but also to give my quit that extra boost.
4) to all the new quitters out there that might give this a quick read, the most important things i did this weekend while i was away: posting roll and keeping my word.
Good stuff DC. I'm real happy for you bro. I can only imagine that feedback from the kids. Mine are a little too young to understand but I can only imagine.
Keep bringing the megaquit.
-
Magnetic poetry from my first week that I just rediscovered:
Healthy
Blessed freedom.
Believe in myself;
Strength and courage to be worthy of you.
Look now,
I am free.
And her reply:
Celebrate with joy for my love is finally here.
This shit matters. It has been a long time since I've had quit tears, and it feels good.
Proud to be quit with y'all.
-
Folks in the Virginia area...
Any interest in getting together? Sloop and I will be getting together in the relatively near future (no specific date, but I'm not letting him off the hook), and I'd like to make it a bigger event if possible.
So, if you're a quitter in the greater DC, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia area, give a shout out. Let's sign up below, roll call style, and make it happen. Days don't matter, just gotta be quit...
sign up here... Username and location.
dchogs... Charlottesville
-
I don't want to be a doosh or anything and take away from your post but my sick mind read vagina quitters. :blink:
I was then shocked that Gmann had not found his way in yet.
-
I don't want to be a doosh or anything and take away from your post but my sick mind read vagina quitters. :blink:
I was then shocked that Gmann had not found his way in yet.
shit. i totally misspelled vagina in my title. good catch magnum.
(and i think we all know why gmann isn't in a thread about vaginas)
-
I don't want to be a doosh or anything and take away from your post but my sick mind read vagina quitters. :blink:
I was then shocked that Gmann had not found his way in yet.
I figured Gmann hadn't been in a vagina since the day he was born. 'crackup'
Sorry, couldn't let that one pass without comment. B)
-
I don't want to be a doosh or anything and take away from your post but my sick mind read vagina quitters. :blink:
I was then shocked that Gmann had not found his way in yet.
I figured Gmann hadn't been in a vagina since the day he was born. 'crackup'
Sorry, couldn't let that one pass without comment. B)
Jesus...every time I read this line I laugh out loud. Thank you Taz for being spot on bro.
-
I don't want to be a doosh or anything and take away from your post but my sick mind read vagina quitters. :blink:
I was then shocked that Gmann had not found his way in yet.
I figured Gmann hadn't been in a vagina since the day he was born. 'crackup'
Sorry, couldn't let that one pass without comment. B)
Jesus...every time I read this line I laugh out loud. Thank you Taz for being spot on bro.
Glad I could help... 'winker'
-
Today, I am two years quit.
I donÂ’t say that with any intention to brag on what a badass I am or how much I have this addiction thing figured out; I start with that simply to give the rest of this message some context. I never wrote a HOF speech, and IÂ’d hesitate to even label this as such because it almost implies that I think I know my shit, but IÂ’m guessing itÂ’s about as close as IÂ’ll come to ever writing one (or knowing my shit for that matter).
So, with that housekeeping out of the way, what the fuck have I learned in the last 732 days? I have learned that it is possible to quit chewing tobacco. IÂ’ve learned that it takes laser-like focus and that you have to stay focused for a hell of a lot longer than you think you need to. IÂ’ve learned that quitting gets harder, then easier, than harder, then easier, then so easy you donÂ’t think about it, then so hard it hurts, then easier, then harder, then easier.
ThereÂ’s a rhythm to quitting that is almost like a metronome ticking away on top of a piano. TickÂ… this is easy; tickÂ… holy shit IÂ’m going to kill someone; tickÂ… IÂ’ve got this figured out; tickÂ… IÂ’m sure I could have just one; tickÂ… I canÂ’t believe I almost threw away my quit; tickÂ…
For the first couple of months, the rhythm of quitting is very regular- like a pendulum. The funks are almost laughably predictable (especially to the vets), though that doesnÂ’t make them any easier to avoid or get through. You have the highest highs on one side where you almost forget youÂ’ve ever dipped, followed by a period of focused quit Zen, followed by the back end of the pendulum arc that has the most extreme stress on your quit, followed by that Zen again- rinse repeat. I see it clearly in my headÂ… the top of the arcs are the danger zones, you feel way too good or way too bad. ThatÂ’s when you are most likely to fuck up and dip. The quit Zen, when youÂ’re focused on your quit even though itÂ’s not that hard, is right at the very bottom of that arc.
As you gain a greater volume of days under your quit-belt, the super-regular tick-tick of the quit metronome starts to slow down. Like any pendulum on this good planet, friction starts to slow down the pendulum arm. The highest highs and the lowest lows just arenÂ’t quite so good or so bad. The cycle slows down and you have increasingly more time between your craves, rages, or funks. Eventually, that quit pendulum comes to rest in its natural stateÂ… hanging straight down in that beautiful zone of Zen.
In the last handful of days, IÂ’ve learned that my pendulum is still swinging and that IÂ’m not quit at rest in Zen. Walking home across campus, I noticed the grounds crew mowing the expansive lawns of my school, and I had a beautiful fleeting thought of how awesome it would be to shed the stress of my job for the (seeming) simplicity of mowing grass for a living. Funny thing is that my mind, after almost 2 years of being quit, immediately jumped to me dipping while I engaged in my new imaginary profession. Two years. T-W-O motherfucking Y-E-A-R-S.
So, to those of you that are just now quitting, way to go; this is the best decision you’ve made in a long time. What seems impossible, isn’t. You’ll have your good days and bad, but as the pendulum slows, the time between your funks will gradually increase. At the same time, you’ll feel like a million fucking dollars after 14 days. “I’ve beat this bitch,” you’ll think. I did, and you’ll be just as wrong as I was in thinking that. I’m two years in and can’t declare any kind of victory. Stay vigilant when you feel great, stay strong when you feel like shit. The beauty of the quit pendulum is that you know things will change and that you’ll eventually come to rest in that happy little zone where you don’t have to remind yourself and you don’t have to fight yourself. You’ll just be quit.
Since this is a quasi-HOF-speech, I suppose I'll end it with some gratitude. Of course, my August 11 Quitheads stand front and center at the vanguard of my quit. Each of you have helped me along the way at one time or another, and I honestly couldn't have done it without the Monks of Quit. I'd also like to thank the folks that have let me be their mentor along the way... specifically Jonbags of September 11's pirate horde and Per of October 12's madmen. You, gentlemen, have helped keep me focused during the good times and bad. I'd also like to apologize for slacking in my support of you here; I'm with you both whether I'm posting roll with you or not. Equally important to me are the good folks that were my quit-heros in the early days: 30, Scowick, Razz, Cancrusher, gmann, chewie, NOLAQ, syndrome, rebel, 9, and Souliman. You have no idea how much you've helped me become a better person, father, and husband. And that leads me to the final group to thank, my family. My wife found KTC for me, my kids helped by asking me my quit number at all the right times, and their support, along with everyone else's, has made this quit a continued exercise in success.
See you tomorrow for 733.
-
Today, I am two years quit.
I donÂ’t say that with any intention to brag on what a badass I am or how much I have this addiction thing figured out; I start with that simply to give the rest of this message some context. I never wrote a HOF speech, and IÂ’d hesitate to even label this as such because it almost implies that I think I know my shit, but IÂ’m guessing itÂ’s about as close as IÂ’ll come to ever writing one (or knowing my shit for that matter).
So, with that housekeeping out of the way, what the fuck have I learned in the last 732 days? I have learned that it is possible to quit chewing tobacco. IÂ’ve learned that it takes laser-like focus and that you have to stay focused for a hell of a lot longer than you think you need to. IÂ’ve learned that quitting gets harder, then easier, than harder, then easier, then so easy you donÂ’t think about it, then so hard it hurts, then easier, then harder, then easier.
ThereÂ’s a rhythm to quitting that is almost like a metronome ticking away on top of a piano. TickÂ… this is easy; tickÂ… holy shit IÂ’m going to kill someone; tickÂ… IÂ’ve got this figured out; tickÂ… IÂ’m sure I could have just one; tickÂ… I canÂ’t believe I almost threw away my quit; tickÂ…
For the first couple of months, the rhythm of quitting is very regular- like a pendulum. The funks are almost laughably predictable (especially to the vets), though that doesnÂ’t make them any easier to avoid or get through. You have the highest highs on one side where you almost forget youÂ’ve ever dipped, followed by a period of focused quit Zen, followed by the back end of the pendulum arc that has the most extreme stress on your quit, followed by that Zen again- rinse repeat. I see it clearly in my headÂ… the top of the arcs are the danger zones, you feel way too good or way too bad. ThatÂ’s when you are most likely to fuck up and dip. The quit Zen, when youÂ’re focused on your quit even though itÂ’s not that hard, is right at the very bottom of that arc.
As you gain a greater volume of days under your quit-belt, the super-regular tick-tick of the quit metronome starts to slow down. Like any pendulum on this good planet, friction starts to slow down the pendulum arm. The highest highs and the lowest lows just arenÂ’t quite so good or so bad. The cycle slows down and you have increasingly more time between your craves, rages, or funks. Eventually, that quit pendulum comes to rest in its natural stateÂ… hanging straight down in that beautiful zone of Zen.
In the last handful of days, IÂ’ve learned that my pendulum is still swinging and that IÂ’m not quit at rest in Zen. Walking home across campus, I noticed the grounds crew mowing the expansive lawns of my school, and I had a beautiful fleeting thought of how awesome it would be to shed the stress of my job for the (seeming) simplicity of mowing grass for a living. Funny thing is that my mind, after almost 2 years of being quit, immediately jumped to me dipping while I engaged in my new imaginary profession. Two years. T-W-O motherfucking Y-E-A-R-S.
So, to those of you that are just now quitting, way to go; this is the best decision you’ve made in a long time. What seems impossible, isn’t. You’ll have your good days and bad, but as the pendulum slows, the time between your funks will gradually increase. At the same time, you’ll feel like a million fucking dollars after 14 days. “I’ve beat this bitch,” you’ll think. I did, and you’ll be just as wrong as I was in thinking that. I’m two years in and can’t declare any kind of victory. Stay vigilant when you feel great, stay strong when you feel like shit. The beauty of the quit pendulum is that you know things will change and that you’ll eventually come to rest in that happy little zone where you don’t have to remind yourself and you don’t have to fight yourself. You’ll just be quit.
Since this is a quasi-HOF-speech, I suppose I'll end it with some gratitude. Of course, my August 11 Quitheads stand front and center at the vanguard of my quit. Each of you have helped me along the way at one time or another, and I honestly couldn't have done it without the Monks of Quit. I'd also like to thank the folks that have let me be their mentor along the way... specifically Jonbags of September 11's pirate horde and Per of October 12's madmen. You, gentlemen, have helped keep me focused during the good times and bad. I'd also like to apologize for slacking in my support of you here; I'm with you both whether I'm posting roll with you or not. Equally important to me are the good folks that were my quit-heros in the early days: 30, Scowick, Razz, Cancrusher, gmann, chewie, NOLAQ, syndrome, rebel, 9, and Souliman. You have no idea how much you've helped me become a better person, father, and husband. And that leads me to the final group to thank, my family. My wife found KTC for me, my kids helped by asking me my quit number at all the right times, and their support, along with everyone else's, has made this quit a continued exercise in success.
See you tomorrow for 733.
Great read, and your a quit bad-ass
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Looked for a good place to put this, and this seemed as inspired as any other...
I had a double dip dream the night before 1000. Dip dream, wake up in panic, back to sleep, re-dream the cave, wake up absolutely convinced...
To me, this is a beautiful comma gift from the nic bitch. It just reminds me that this fight is never over; that I'm one dip away from rock bottom; that my strength and will (thanks in massive part to KTC) keep me on the right side of the knife edge of survival.
It is easy to forget, but I have been blessed with a long memory with dip. I still feel the gentle pull late at night, when work stress is high, or when shit gets real. This is not a sob story, but rather the purest form of a success story. With help and the meaningful promise of my word, I stare the beast in the eye EVERY DAY and tell it to fuck off. Some days it is easy, others, hard. KTC and the members that make it real are the sole constant companion to my resolve.
To the vets, stay strong and stay active. One word can ma e the difference in a single quit... Can save a life. Be the hammer, be the supportive shoulder, be the one role model that makes a difference.
To the newly quit: this place works. Period. Buy into the program, be a man (or woman) of honor, post roll every day, resist complacency, and get involved. It is so simple it is almost easy, but it will be the hardest thing that you do. Lean on your family, your quit group, your friends, and your god... Each will play a significant role in helping you make it.
This is the battle that must be won. It IS life and death. Drink the koolaide and embrace freedom, my friends. It has worked before, and if you let it, it will work for you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
dc
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Looked for a good place to put this, and this seemed as inspired as any other...
I had a double dip dream the night before 1000. Dip dream, wake up in panic, back to sleep, re-dream the cave, wake up absolutely convinced...
To me, this is a beautiful comma gift from the nic bitch. It just reminds me that this fight is never over; that I'm one dip away from rock bottom; that my strength and will (thanks in massive part to KTC) keep me on the right side of the knife edge of survival.
It is easy to forget, but I have been blessed with a long memory with dip. I still feel the gentle pull late at night, when work stress is high, or when shit gets real. This is not a sob story, but rather the purest form of a success story. With help and the meaningful promise of my word, I stare the beast in the eye EVERY DAY and tell it to fuck off. Some days it is easy, others, hard. KTC and the members that make it real are the sole constant companion to my resolve.
To the vets, stay strong and stay active. One word can ma e the difference in a single quit... Can save a life. Be the hammer, be the supportive shoulder, be the one role model that makes a difference.
To the newly quit: this place works. Period. Buy into the program, be a man (or woman) of honor, post roll every day, resist complacency, and get involved. It is so simple it is almost easy, but it will be the hardest thing that you do. Lean on your family, your quit group, your friends, and your god... Each will play a significant role in helping you make it.
This is the battle that must be won. It IS life and death. Drink the koolaide and embrace freedom, my friends. It has worked before, and if you let it, it will work for you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
dc
a huge congrats and thanks for your support in Oct 12
thank you.
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Looked for a good place to put this, and this seemed as inspired as any other...
I had a double dip dream the night before 1000. Dip dream, wake up in panic, back to sleep, re-dream the cave, wake up absolutely convinced...
To me, this is a beautiful comma gift from the nic bitch. It just reminds me that this fight is never over; that I'm one dip away from rock bottom; that my strength and will (thanks in massive part to KTC) keep me on the right side of the knife edge of survival.
It is easy to forget, but I have been blessed with a long memory with dip. I still feel the gentle pull late at night, when work stress is high, or when shit gets real. This is not a sob story, but rather the purest form of a success story. With help and the meaningful promise of my word, I stare the beast in the eye EVERY DAY and tell it to fuck off. Some days it is easy, others, hard. KTC and the members that make it real are the sole constant companion to my resolve.
To the vets, stay strong and stay active. One word can ma e the difference in a single quit... Can save a life. Be the hammer, be the supportive shoulder, be the one role model that makes a difference.
To the newly quit: this place works. Period. Buy into the program, be a man (or woman) of honor, post roll every day, resist complacency, and get involved. It is so simple it is almost easy, but it will be the hardest thing that you do. Lean on your family, your quit group, your friends, and your god... Each will play a significant role in helping you make it.
This is the battle that must be won. It IS life and death. Drink the koolaide and embrace freedom, my friends. It has worked before, and if you let it, it will work for you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
dc
a huge congrats and thanks for your support in Oct 12
thank you.
Well said, and awesome comma! Dip dreams are a gift for sure. Wow 1,000 days of freedom!
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Looked for a good place to put this, and this seemed as inspired as any other...
I had a double dip dream the night before 1000. Dip dream, wake up in panic, back to sleep, re-dream the cave, wake up absolutely convinced...
To me, this is a beautiful comma gift from the nic bitch. It just reminds me that this fight is never over; that I'm one dip away from rock bottom; that my strength and will (thanks in massive part to KTC) keep me on the right side of the knife edge of survival.
It is easy to forget, but I have been blessed with a long memory with dip. I still feel the gentle pull late at night, when work stress is high, or when shit gets real. This is not a sob story, but rather the purest form of a success story. With help and the meaningful promise of my word, I stare the beast in the eye EVERY DAY and tell it to fuck off. Some days it is easy, others, hard. KTC and the members that make it real are the sole constant companion to my resolve.
To the vets, stay strong and stay active. One word can ma e the difference in a single quit... Can save a life. Be the hammer, be the supportive shoulder, be the one role model that makes a difference.
To the newly quit: this place works. Period. Buy into the program, be a man (or woman) of honor, post roll every day, resist complacency, and get involved. It is so simple it is almost easy, but it will be the hardest thing that you do. Lean on your family, your quit group, your friends, and your god... Each will play a significant role in helping you make it.
This is the battle that must be won. It IS life and death. Drink the koolaide and embrace freedom, my friends. It has worked before, and if you let it, it will work for you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
dc
a huge congrats and thanks for your support in Oct 12
thank you.
Well said, and awesome comma! Dip dreams are a gift for sure. Wow 1,000 days of freedom!
Great post hogs. Good reminder not to get complacent.
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2 commas are even sexier than one! Congrats on 2K sir, and thanks for the support. Live it up and celebrate today!
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2 commas are even sexier than one! Congrats on 2K sir, and thanks for the support. Live it up and celebrate today!
Out-freaking-standing!
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2 commas are even sexier than one! Congrats on 2K sir, and thanks for the support. Live it up and celebrate today!
Out-freaking-standing!
Wow! Yes they are, w2w! And just perusing this, I saw some challenges near one comma that reminded me of some craves at 998 or so and dreams in the 990s too! Strange how this stuff works in us! Big congrats Hogs!