KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Powdersummit on November 01, 2012, 11:04:00 AM
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Hello to everyone here. As with many of you it is my time to quit nicotine all together. As of right now it's been about 32 hours since any kind of nicotine. I work a graveyard shift, I had just finished my last can of pouches and figured on using the nicotine gum and then trying to quit cold turkey. "To hell with it, burn the ships" I gave my buddy the rest of my nicotine gum and told him not to give it back to me. This happened the night before Halloween at basically midnight.
I started when I was 16 and now I'm 29. It's pathetic when you look back on how much money you have wasted and damage you have done to your body. All because you wanted to fit in with some guys in high school which turned out to be a bunch of douche bags. I'm not even in touch with any of them anymore.
So far this time of cold turkey quitting has been one hell of a roller coaster. The night that I quit I damn near got into with one of the guys that I work with just because he's an idiot. No particular reason, just that he's a fucking idiot. I didn't go to work tonight. The withdrawals were giving me a head ach. The "Fog" has been one of the worst parts. I have a hard time concentrating and my hand eye coordination is way down. I find myself getting short tempered when dealing with other people. I haven't seen too much anger with dealing with my wife and kids. I guess it's somewhat different when it's unconditional love that I have for them.
Damn I didn't realize how much of an oral fixation I had with chewing. I've been destroying toothpicks left and right, going through a crap load of orbit chewing gum and drinking water like none other.
Well it sounds like the wife and kids are awake. Off to cook breakfast and destroy some more toothpicks
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Good to know I'm not the only toothpick chewer out there.
Visit the welcome center link in the top left side of the page. Learn about posting roll and what it means. When you're ready for that commitment (which I think you already are), post roll in February 2013.
Check your PMs. You've got mail buddy
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Okay Pow Pow. You ditched the shit and you're in the middle of a fire fight with the nic bitch. Dig in. If you got balls and backbone you can do this. This time is different. This time you are quit. Here's the ingredients to Souliman's Secret Sauce:
1. Like EPayne said, hit the warm, inviting, salmon colored 'Welcome Center' link in the upper left. That there is the cliff notes to the site and philosophy.
2. One of them there links is Roll Call. This is the shit. This is the most powerful tool you can muster. Its like digging into the dirt to find your backbone. We put our word down once a day that we are quit. That we will not use nicotine for 24 hours. That's it. One day at a time. Get up and do it again tomorrow. We post roll everyday. Do it early to set the table right. Don't fuck with the program. Excuses like "but my grannie is in town" or "I was watching Regis this morning" are not acceptable. If you can't get to the site, text a quit brother or sister. Don't got numbers? Get some.
Your group is here: Feb 2013 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7319)
How to post roll you ask? Here (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
3. Read. Educate yourself. This is a fucking goldmine of knowledge on getting a hold on your addiction. Prepare yourself. If you know what is coming, you can react accordingly with a solid defense. Read it all. Read it again.
4. Get involved. Now I haven't been here long but long enough to know that the support here is top shelf. Anyone of these steel balled/razor claw men and women will give you a hand whenever you need it. Day or night. Holidays. Birthdays. Baptisms. Whatever. For me, that kind of support warrants being involved and giving it all you got. Pay it forward.
5. Reach out. There is no reason to ever consume nicotine again. No reason. If you find yourself in your hour of need, reach out. Get on the site. PM someone. Text someone. Call someone. Let someone know you need help. We're all addicts. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and it will only solidify your quit. Saying to someone you need help fighting addiction is cathartic. It will open you mind up to the notion that you will not use nicotine anymore. That you will do whatever you can to fight.
Welcome. Do me a favor and go out your front door and say "I QUIT". Tell the world. You own today.
-Soul
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Thanks for the support epayne. Lucky for me I am off to bed. Working a graveyard shift does have its advantages. I can sleep most of the day and people don't call me lazy. Plus the least amount of people that I have to interact with right now the better.
Things may get worse before they get better, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an oncoming train.
34 hours and counting
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Thanks for the support epayne. Lucky for me I am off to bed. Working a graveyard shift does have its advantages. I can sleep most of the day and people don't call me lazy. Plus the least amount of people that I have to interact with right now the better.
Things may get worse before they get better, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an oncoming train.
34 hours and counting
When you get up:
1. Post roll in Pre HOF February 2013
2. Keep your word
That's all there is to it.
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Damn I didn't realize how much of an oral fixation I had with chewing. I've been destroying toothpicks left and right, going through a crap load of orbit chewing gum and drinking water like none other.
Well it sounds like the wife and kids are awake. Off to cook breakfast and destroy some more toothpicks
Sunflower seeds, bro.... keep em close. I went through a truckload of them. Eventually, you'll grow tired of the chewing. That's not an addiction, luckily. My wife came home with a couple packs of seeds last week and that was the first I'd had in months. For me, they did a better job at keeping me occupied than anything else I tried.
EDIT: And heed what the other quitters here said. Souliman is a longwinded dude, but he preaches the gospel.
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Damn I didn't realize how much of an oral fixation I had with chewing. I've been destroying toothpicks left and right, going through a crap load of orbit chewing gum and drinking water like none other.
Well it sounds like the wife and kids are awake. Off to cook breakfast and destroy some more toothpicks
Sunflower seeds, bro.... keep em close. I went through a truckload of them. Eventually, you'll grow tired of the chewing. That's not an addiction, luckily. My wife came home with a couple packs of seeds last week and that was the first I'd had in months. For me, they did a better job at keeping me occupied than anything else I tried.
EDIT: And heed what the other quitters here said. Souliman is a longwinded dude, but he preaches the gospel.
The quit gets all jammed up and I just explode like a geyser (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SQlVpYSa90)
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I'm sitting here at 47 hours and feeling actually pretty good. I'm at work and doing pretty good. There were some pretty good cravings when I got up but they passed with time.
One thing has me pondering though is the amount of gas I've been having in basically the last 24 hours. I mean I'm still proud of my own farts but it just seems that these are extra potent and I can't think of anything that I've ate that would cause that. My best guess it that with my body healing from the nicotine I dislodged a small rodent or something that is really pissed off. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced gas like that after quitting.
I don't know what it is about this time around but I feel that I am more at piece with myself, almost a zen like state. I have done the reading I understand what is happening and that all of the discomfort will pass with time. Being able to take one day off of work did help, I knew that I would have problems with buying another can if I went into work last night.
Part of the battle is convincing your subconscious mind to commit to quitting and understanding the primal urge to want to continue with chew. I find myself trying to embrace some of the cravings and trying to analyze what is happening. Sometimes when I don't want to be bothered with them I practice deep breathing and let the cravings go, but sometimes it's worth it to step back and listen. Reason with your primal mind that wants the dip. Let that primal side that is only interested in the instant gratification know that this will pass and that there is so much to gain for resisting the urge.
I know a lot of this rambling is just during the process of withdrawal and detox. Would be interested on any comments concerning small rodents living in my digestive system or the zen like state of quitting.
Carl
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Yea, about 48 hours in I had pretty bad gas too. It could be the bodys expulsion of the toxic chemicals and there byproducts along with fruit juice and the increased appitite. About that time I had gas pretty bad and it was becomeing more difficult to get cumfortable within my own skin. Side effect, I wanted to walk around and puch everyone in the face and turn into godzilla or the hulk or something. Its almost 100 hours in for me and Im felling better. This feel alittle bloated but im trying to combat that with hittin the gym, water and running. Sleep still not on track but working on it.
Keep it up ! This is Sparta!!
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I gotta proof read before I post.
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Don't feel like you're alone powder summit. I'm 37 days quit and my ass still can't make up its mind about how it wants to punish me. Just another thing to push through.
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Yea, about 48 hours in I had pretty bad gas too. It could be the bodys expulsion of the toxic chemicals and there byproducts along with fruit juice and the increased appitite. About that time I had gas pretty bad and it was becomeing more difficult to get cumfortable within my own skin. Side effect, I wanted to walk around and puch everyone in the face and turn into godzilla or the hulk or something. Its almost 100 hours in for me and Im felling better. This feel alittle bloated but im trying to combat that with hittin the gym, water and running. Sleep still not on track but working on it.
Keep it up ! This is Sparta!!
Took me a while to get regular like when I chewed. While a dipper my bowels were like a precision timepiece. Accurate to mere seconds. I'm 81 days and things are just now starting to get more regular in the underworld. Nic is a laxative amongst other things, using it so long it will take a while to sort out. I remember just the smell of a dip in the morning would break a chunk loose.
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On the bright side: your bowels aren't the only system that will change. You'll find some nice positive changes along the way.
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64 hours in and still going strong. When I got up this afternoon the cravings were pretty damn good. I was able to beat them back with few Kit-Kat bars and some orbit gum. Things are still somewhat a roller coaster. Last night at work I was happy and was constantly screwing with a couple of the guys who work with me. I got up today and just seem to be cranky. My best guess is the lower blood sugar level that I am at right now.
I'm doing it though, hour by hour, day by day. I may only be 64 hours in but this is the longest I have been without in more than 10 years. Damn, it really makes you think how bad of a grip that garbage has a hold on you.
At least it is the weekend now. I plan to go out and get plenty of fresh air. Hopefully all the extra oxygen with lift this fog that is still surrounding my head.
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Your body will be constantly adjusting during your quit. I noticed different things during the first 200 days or so. An odd heartbeat, not feeling my pulse in my neck, neck pain, headaches, insomnia, always tired, a weird eye tick (right eye only), numb tongue, sore teeth, sensitive teeth, most definately gas and a whole bunch of other shit I can't remember now.
Oh yeah...I got fat too. That's because I ate everything in sight and didn't excercise....don't do that. Eating is fine, but get your ass off the couch.
Zen state of quitting. I would describe that as the feeling of hovering 6" above and just to the left of my body.
Yeah, I know, it's weird....but that's what it felt like.......
Congrats on your decision, I promise you won't regret it.
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You're adjusting to "wearing shoes that actually fit". When your addicted to nic its like your constantly walking around in shoes 2 sizes too small. They hurt and are uncomfortable, but you get the most satisfying relief when you take them off and rub those achy puppies, ie popping in a dip.
Problem is once u spit that dip out the size 9's go back on even though you wear an 11. You walk around irritable and in pain, always looking forward to taking them off again and rubbing the barking dogs. Gets so bad it starts to control you and you are consumed with taking your shoes off and rubbing your hurting feet. Its like the best feeling in the world now but you've lost sight of the big picture and why your feet hurt so bad to begin with.
Here's an idea. BUY SOME SIZE 11'S!!! Might take awhile to get used to since you're brains so fucked up it THINKS short term relief for a major problem is actually "normal". Trust me, over time you'll be gliding down the street in your size elevens wondering why the fuck you were jamming your feet into size 9's for so many years.
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powder, your right about the blood sugar, keep it steady. sipping on sweet juice like cranberry or pineapple will do it. A blood sugar crash will cause you to crave a dip. Steady is the key. Not a box of ding dongs.
sM
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82 Hours in Yeah! The fog has lifted for the most part. I'm able to think more clearly now. I was kind of worried there for a bit. I'm volunteering at the local middle school to help with their Lego robotics league. At the last meeting I couldn't even do the simple math for calculating a turn. I woke up at 4am this morning feeling clear headed and was able to start my lesson plan for calculating basic movements.
The best thing right now is being able to full on kiss my wife with no worries. The only time I was able to do that is when I was chewing just the nicotine gum and I hated the gum. I think it was causing an allergic reaction and I was coughing up all kinds of shit because of the crap. I feel closer to my wife now that I ever have. I do have my mood swings but I know and she knows to expect them. They are starting to level off.
It's going to be a long road ahead. I know that I am never cured and that I will always be an addict. It's my choice to do the right thing though.
Carl
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82 Hours in Yeah! The fog has lifted for the most part. I'm able to think more clearly now. I was kind of worried there for a bit. I'm volunteering at the local middle school to help with their Lego robotics league. At the last meeting I couldn't even do the simple math for calculating a turn. I woke up at 4am this morning feeling clear headed and was able to start my lesson plan for calculating basic movements.
The best thing right now is being able to full on kiss my wife with no worries. The only time I was able to do that is when I was chewing just the nicotine gum and I hated the gum. I think it was causing an allergic reaction and I was coughing up all kinds of shit because of the crap. I feel closer to my wife now that I ever have. I do have my mood swings but I know and she knows to expect them. They are starting to level off.
It's going to be a long road ahead. I know that I am never cured and that I will always be an addict. It's my choice to do the right thing though.
Carl
nice job powder - each day is now a victory, but never forget what you have gone through as it will help strengthen you quit in the comming days, and unless you are a sadistic sucker, why would you want to go through that again.
There will be a lot of mind games comming up, learn to recognize them for what they are, enjoy the good days but always be prepared to fight the days that are not as good.
Quit with you today
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It's day 11 and I'm still free. The past couple days I have been fighting some pretty good craves. I figure they will come in waves and hit me when I'm feeling down. That's at least what has been happening lately. I know things will get better with time but for right now it's a matter of fighting crave to crave and day to day.
Posting roll is an absolute must. It has kept me accountable. It may seem rather superficial but posting when you first get up and promise not to have any nicotine that day takes the edge off. It's like you are only quitting for today, don't worry about tomorrow. All you have to do is the same thing tomorrow. It works.
Read!!! Read what others have posted in the Hall of Fame. I can really relate to others in the Hall of Fame. I personally want to be there. I was reading a few of the posts in the hall of fame at work the other night and started to tear up. When you realize what the chew has done to your life, it hurts. I'm a big enough man to admit that I can cry. Quitting is a very emotional thing. The addiction has become part of who you are.
Overall things are getting better, I feel as though I am more level. Nicotine gave me mood swings that I did not realize. I started in high school when hormones are running strong. I thought that everything was normal for the last 13 years. Son of a bitch I was wrong. I have been able to keep a much more positive attitude now. I see myself becoming the man I want to be. Nicotine just set that back a few years.
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It's day 11 and I'm still free. The past couple days I have been fighting some pretty good craves. I figure they will come in waves and hit me when I'm feeling down. That's at least what has been happening lately. I know things will get better with time but for right now it's a matter of fighting crave to crave and day to day.
Posting roll is an absolute must. It has kept me accountable. It may seem rather superficial but posting when you first get up and promise not to have any nicotine that day takes the edge off. It's like you are only quitting for today, don't worry about tomorrow. All you have to do is the same thing tomorrow. It works.
Read!!! Read what others have posted in the Hall of Fame. I can really relate to others in the Hall of Fame. I personally want to be there. I was reading a few of the posts in the hall of fame at work the other night and started to tear up. When you realize what the chew has done to your life, it hurts. I'm a big enough man to admit that I can cry. Quitting is a very emotional thing. The addiction has become part of who you are.
Overall things are getting better, I feel as though I am more level. Nicotine gave me mood swings that I did not realize. I started in high school when hormones are running strong. I thought that everything was normal for the last 13 years. Son of a bitch I was wrong. I have been able to keep a much more positive attitude now. I see myself becoming the man I want to be. Nicotine just set that back a few years.
You get it! You have a bad ass quit going on. There is still a long way to go but as long as you post roll early everyday and don't get complacent you will continue to win 1 day at a time. Im there quitting each morning too. Pm me if I can help with anything!
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It's day 11 and I'm still free. The past couple days I have been fighting some pretty good craves. I figure they will come in waves and hit me when I'm feeling down. That's at least what has been happening lately. I know things will get better with time but for right now it's a matter of fighting crave to crave and day to day.
Posting roll is an absolute must. It has kept me accountable. It may seem rather superficial but posting when you first get up and promise not to have any nicotine that day takes the edge off. It's like you are only quitting for today, don't worry about tomorrow. All you have to do is the same thing tomorrow. It works.
Read!!! Read what others have posted in the Hall of Fame. I can really relate to others in the Hall of Fame. I personally want to be there. I was reading a few of the posts in the hall of fame at work the other night and started to tear up. When you realize what the chew has done to your life, it hurts. I'm a big enough man to admit that I can cry. Quitting is a very emotional thing. The addiction has become part of who you are.
Overall things are getting better, I feel as though I am more level. Nicotine gave me mood swings that I did not realize. I started in high school when hormones are running strong. I thought that everything was normal for the last 13 years. Son of a bitch I was wrong. I have been able to keep a much more positive attitude now. I see myself becoming the man I want to be. Nicotine just set that back a few years.
You get it! You have a bad ass quit going on. There is still a long way to go but as long as you post roll early everyday and don't get complacent you will continue to win 1 day at a time. Im there quitting each morning too. Pm me if I can help with anything!
:wub:
I quit with you today man.
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Holy Shit this has been tough lately. Last week I got dumped on at work with a massive amount of parts that need to be done by thanksgiving and be sent out for some sort of electrolysis. These parts take 16 min a piece, not counting inspection, and I have a couple of tolerances of .0002 inches. These parts aren't easy to get going on a good day let alone when early in a quit and the stress of getting them done. Not to mention this contract is worth millions over the life of the project. I have came so close to caving in the past few days it isn't funny. I'm verbally arguing with myself in my car, I have a hard time sleeping (graveyard is a bitch as it is). I have stayed true to my quit though thanks partly to the fake chew and KTC.
I have figured out the numbers and there is no way I can get what they want done in the time frame I was given. Fuck em! I'll decided I'll get done what I can get done and that's all I can get done. It's not my god damn fault they can't schedule these fucking things in advance.
Good news is that I'm working on them right now and they are running great. I did not expect that. I've almost got 10 of the 100 done and the CNC lathe that they are on hasn't gave me any shit.
I have come so close to breaking. The anxiety has been so intense. I don't want to become another statistic of people failing to quit. I have been that statistic for the last 9 years. I am done being too weak to say no to the can. Today is 21 days without the cancer can. I don't want to go through this shit again, I choose to remain quit.
Powdersummit
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Holy Shit this has been tough lately. Last week I got dumped on at work with a massive amount of parts that need to be done by thanksgiving and be sent out for some sort of electrolysis. These parts take 16 min a piece, not counting inspection, and I have a couple of tolerances of .0002 inches. These parts aren't easy to get going on a good day let alone when early in a quit and the stress of getting them done. Not to mention this contract is worth millions over the life of the project. I have came so close to caving in the past few days it isn't funny. I'm verbally arguing with myself in my car, I have a hard time sleeping (graveyard is a bitch as it is). I have stayed true to my quit though thanks partly to the fake chew and KTC.
I have figured out the numbers and there is no way I can get what they want done in the time frame I was given. Fuck em! I'll decided I'll get done what I can get done and that's all I can get done. It's not my god damn fault they can't schedule these fucking things in advance.
Good news is that I'm working on them right now and they are running great. I did not expect that. I've almost got 10 of the 100 done and the CNC lathe that they are on hasn't gave me any shit.
I have come so close to breaking. The anxiety has been so intense. I don't want to become another statistic of people failing to quit. I have been that statistic for the last 9 years. I am done being too weak to say no to the can. Today is 21 days without the cancer can. I don't want to go through this shit again, I choose to remain quit.
Powdersummit
You have realized nicotine will NOT help you get those parts done any sooner.
Nicotine solves nothing.
Well done my friend.
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I choose to remain quit.
Powdersummit
We all have choices, Powder. Very well done...I am impressed. I quit with you today as well.....Sharsky
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Holy Shit this has been tough lately. Last week I got dumped on at work with a massive amount of parts that need to be done by thanksgiving and be sent out for some sort of electrolysis. These parts take 16 min a piece, not counting inspection, and I have a couple of tolerances of .0002 inches. These parts aren't easy to get going on a good day let alone when early in a quit and the stress of getting them done. Not to mention this contract is worth millions over the life of the project. I have came so close to caving in the past few days it isn't funny. I'm verbally arguing with myself in my car, I have a hard time sleeping (graveyard is a bitch as it is). I have stayed true to my quit though thanks partly to the fake chew and KTC.
I have figured out the numbers and there is no way I can get what they want done in the time frame I was given. Fuck em! I'll decided I'll get done what I can get done and that's all I can get done. It's not my god damn fault they can't schedule these fucking things in advance.
Good news is that I'm working on them right now and they are running great. I did not expect that. I've almost got 10 of the 100 done and the CNC lathe that they are on hasn't gave me any shit.
I have come so close to breaking. The anxiety has been so intense. I don't want to become another statistic of people failing to quit. I have been that statistic for the last 9 years. I am done being too weak to say no to the can. Today is 21 days without the cancer can. I don't want to go through this shit again, I choose to remain quit.
Powdersummit
You have realized nicotine will NOT help you get those parts done any sooner.
Nicotine solves nothing.
Well done my friend.
Close the door on nic. Make quitting the number one priority in your life and it will become a mild irritation before long. And tell your boss,
"Piss poor planning and lack of decision making on your part does not constitute a fucking emergency on my part".
I love that quote. Only got me fired from a few jobs.
Hang tough Powder, you are winning!
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Love it, especially the arguing with yourself in the car part. Sounds like you got a hell of a quit going. I know it's tough now, but just like back in the day when something fucked up happened and the only thing that went right was nobody died, even though at the moment you knew is was some serious shit you would say "Some day we are going to look back at this and laugh."
Same thing is going on with you right now. You're in the heat of the battle right now and you are going blow for blow with the nic bitch battling it out like a fucking CHAMP!!!! BELIEVE ME, months from now you will look back on this and not only chuckle a little bit, but feel a sense of unbelievable PRIDE, knowing you did the right thing and were beating an addiction one handed while stress was kicking you in the balls.
Keep fighting the good fight, bro. I know it's not easy but the nothing worth fighting for is. The freedom you will feel on the other side is beyond compare. I can't even describe how good it feels to be FREE from that nasty can of SHIT. The more battles you win and the more time that passes you will see that I am right.
Like I've said a million times...if a PUSSY like me can do this ANYBODY can!
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Thanks for the support guys. The stress is pretty much gone now, it's just a matter of getting as much done as I can. I have told my boss about my quit but trying to talk to someone who is addicted to prescription pain killers is kinda pointless when you're looking at a couple of eyes that are shooting off in different directions or rolling back into his head half the time.
I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I'm thankful for KTC and everyone here. This will be the first holiday season where I don't have to disappear to go take a dip in the middle of a family get together. I'm past the worst which is what I wanted to be through for the holidays. I'm sitting pretty at 3 weeks and with one day at a time I will conquer my demons and look forward to the future.
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Thanks for the support guys. The stress is pretty much gone now, it's just a matter of getting as much done as I can. I have told my boss about my quit but trying to talk to someone who is addicted to prescription pain killers is kinda pointless when you're looking at a couple of eyes that are shooting off in different directions or rolling back into his head half the time.
I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I'm thankful for KTC and everyone here. This will be the first holiday season where I don't have to disappear to go take a dip in the middle of a family get together. I'm past the worst which is what I wanted to be through for the holidays. I'm sitting pretty at 3 weeks and with one day at a time I will conquer my demons and look forward to the future.
Getting through those days one by one will save your ass. You'll gain confidence with each day knowing you CAN and WILL make it. Just remember it will get better. I alway's forget that too, but someone reminded me recently that when your feeling down, stressed, pissed, etc... stay focused, stay strong, It WILL get better...