KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Hops on November 04, 2013, 02:08:00 PM
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Introduction:
Everyone calls me "hops." A little background: I've had a secret mistress for the last 15 years. Got up to over a can a day. One can hidden in the truck, one hidden at work, one hidden in my workshop. I kept it a secret all those years (or so I keep telling myself; I'm sure others knew.) How did I get here?
I've "quit" before. Usually about a week. Maybe longer. Doesn't matter. -I always end up right back on the sauce. This time I have to stay quit. For my kids and my wife; I've got to stay off. Right now I'm on day 5 of being clean - but I'm weak. I could go out right now and get a can. Easily.
I've read a bunch of articles on the site already. I understand the fog. I'm in it. Getting betterÂ… but still in a daze. I can't even type very well, so I'm logging out.
Thanks for listening.
Hops
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Introduction:
Everyone calls me "hops." A little background: I've had a secret mistress for the last 15 years. Got up to over a can a day. One can hidden in the truck, one hidden at work, one hidden in my workshop. I kept it a secret all those years (or so I keep telling myself; I'm sure others knew.) How did I get here?
I've "quit" before. Usually about a week. Maybe longer. Doesn't matter. -I always end up right back on the sauce. This time I have to stay quit. For my kids and my wife; I've got to stay off. Right now I'm on day 5 of being clean - but I'm weak. I could go out right now and get a can. Easily.
I've read a bunch of articles on the site already. I understand the fog. I'm in it. Getting betterÂ… but still in a daze. I can't even type very well, so I'm logging out.
Thanks for listening.
Hops
Hops,
Well welcome to KTC. Let me clarify one thing though, you didn't quit before you stopped. We are all here to help one another quit daily. Focus on today only, never anything more. I myself was never a ninja dipper but I was that in your face "FU" kind of dipper, not sure which one of us would have been the bigger asshole. None the less, I want to help you quit today...so here goes
Here is how to post roll How to Post Roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
Here is your quit group Pre-HOF February 2014 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=8993)
The underlined words above are links to the forum. Let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Pinched
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don't be loggin' off before you post roll. if you're deep in the fog chances are you'll fuck it up. but don't worry, someone will fix it up.
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I have no clue how to do the roll call. I think I did it, but I have no idea if it is correct or not. Too complicated for me.
I'm here. I'm alive. Not logging off yet. The fog was thicker 10 minutes ago. :P
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Hops - Day 5 quit
Way to post roll. Now just like the back of the shampoo bottle "Later, Rinse, Repeat" come back tomorrow and do it all over again. You quit for today. keep stringing together todays to blaze a trail of quit all over the place.
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Great job Hops! You posted roll too - and damn near got it right! haha. No worries, we all mess it up the first few times. Its a right of passage here.
You did the copy/pasting all right - but you added your name at the bottom, which is the support section, not your group's section. Not a big deal at all, I'll fix it up for you.
One piece of advice - you mentioned all the cans you had stashed at various locations. Make sure to dump them all into the toilet. DO NOT have any cans laying around, its just too much temptation early in your quit.
Let me know if you have any questions or if I can help in any way. I'm quitting with you today, all day.
Rick
EDIT - Pinched beat me to it. your roll post is fixed. Now keep your word to not chew all damn day, whatever it takes.
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Great job Hops! You posted roll too - and damn near got it right! haha. No worries, we all mess it up the first few times. Its a right of passage here.
You did the copy/pasting all right - but you added your name at the bottom, which is the support section, not your group's section. Not a big deal at all, I'll fix it up for you.
One piece of advice - you mentioned all the cans you had stashed at various locations. Make sure to dump them all into the toilet. DO NOT have any cans laying around, its just too much temptation early in your quit.
Let me know if you have any questions or if I can help in any way. I'm quitting with you today, all day.
Rick
EDIT - Pinched beat me to it. your roll post is fixed. Now keep your word to not chew all damn day, whatever it takes.
Sorry buddy...great minds!
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Bad Ass has posted Roll!!! We all know what hell your walking through. We know how bad it sucks and how your tormented every moment. Yet we also know how great it feels to be on the other side. Do this for you and no one else, make this quit about you and you only bro.. Use this site, it will be a life line. I wish I could let your see the world through my (189 days clean) eyes for ten minutes but I can't so you will have to trust me, it's damn well worth it. Stay The course and keep your promise, remember every minute if this pain, it will be better soon! I quit with you!
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All the cans are gone. I actually found another one yesterday - in weakness I opened it. I probably would have dipped into it if there was anything in it. Like a dummy I smelled it. It actually didn't smell good at all. I was surprised.
I'm smart enough to not do that again though. Find another (which i don't think I will) and it goes straight in the trash.
Thanks, guys, for the help and advice.
hops
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Well, so far so good today. -Got a long time left though before turning out the lights.
This time I'm feeling pretty good about things. Heck, just getting the courage to register and post on here was half my battle. I can't tell you how many times I had been to the site before.
Committing to it this time. I've got two boys who want to go ice fishingÂ… and I want to go with them for many more years to come.
hops
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Well, so far so good today. -Got a long time left though before turning out the lights.
This time I'm feeling pretty good about things. Heck, just getting the courage to register and post on here was half my battle. I can't tell you how many times I had been to the site before.
Committing to it this time. I've got two boys who want to go ice fishingÂ… and I want to go with them for many more years to come.
hops
Good on you. Take and enjoy your victories. Don't create battles, you'll have enough as it is.
1st, I had many hidden cans that I came across. I never opened them. Entertaining the thoughts, like you miss a lover....only leads to making a huge mistake.
If you find a can, give it to someone supporting you. They will see your need for support and love you more for coming to them.
Post roll and keep your promise. If tomorrow comes, repeat but you only quit every 24 hours. Also, will you stop romanticising nicotine? You spent countless, dollars and lied on account of her seduction! Fuck that bitch! You are an addict and must dismiss entertaining her. If you can't get her out of your head....What are we here for? Call a quit brother, text or get on chat!
You can get lost as an addict. Ask for support! Asking is the biggest sign of quit strength and weapon you have.
If the battle is hard, plenty of us are at the point where we enjoy sticking a knife in the nic bitches throat and when she is down, cutting her heart out.
Seriously, PM me and I will send you my number. 24/7, call on me. I grin when I fight nicotine. That bitch hates and fears me. I can help and so can you brothers on this site!
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Go Hops! Get through this day! That's all. Breathe, let go, ride the discomfort out knowing that's the barrier that kept you back before, and now if you can just ride it you'll be free.
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welcome aboard hops, I'm on day 7 and feeling pretty damn good, keep quitting every morning!
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I'm with you hops! This is day 2 for me, so we both have a long way to go. Feel free to PM me with anything you need. I quit with you brother.
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Hops, nice job of posting Day 7 today. Welcome to the KTC site and the beginning of a whole new life. Look up at the top right of this screen and you will see Inbox(1). It is a pm from me with my telephone number. Call me with any questions or concerns you have. Congrats on taking control of your life. Wayne
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Hops, nice job of posting Day 7 today. Welcome to the KTC site and the beginning of a whole new life. Look up at the top right of this screen and you will see Inbox(1). It is a pm from me with my telephone number. Call me with any questions or concerns you have. Congrats on taking control of your life. Wayne
Day 7 was an all time low in my life. It was also the turning point where i commited myself to jan 14 and each day became a little better. Keep working, your better days are coming soon.
Grizzfall