KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: icandoitforever on June 07, 2015, 01:17:00 AM
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Hi guys,
I just had my last dip. I've quit many times before, sometimes for 6 months or a year, and I always had "that one dip". Which, of course, is never the case.
I can't do that this time. Don't want to. Life's way to good when I'm dip free.
Does anybody know any in person dip quit groups in San Francisco?
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I my experience when I lived in the upper Haight near Golden Gate Park, dip wasn't a big seller in San Fran. The store where I bought it used to order it for me special since it had no other users. Why not join us here at KTC though and help make that quit stick? You will find more addicts who have quit here than you will find users in all of San Fran.
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Hey my friend, sign up post roll, we'll help you with your quit! I quit with you today!
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Forever? I just worry about today. Post roll and learn what this addiction is all about.
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Hi guys, I thought I'd post a little bit more of an intro. I've been looking to really examine my history with Dip so I can make finally quit this shit. I thought I'd take a moment and write out that history.
Sometime in the fall of 2005, when I was 18 and a freshman in college, I had my first dip. A guy who was a friend of mine gave me a pinch while we were partying, and I pretty much immediately felt like shit. Not sure exactly what happened, but I remember almost being sick in some dorm bathroom.
Maybe a month later I had my first "real" dip in the hallway - and loved, LOVED, it. Then, slowly started to build up how much I dipped and decided to stop after our ski trip in January of 2006. I actually did - for two and a half months. I was going through some shit that quarter, and started up again and dipped more or less regularly (though I think still without a full-fledged addiction for a few months) through the summer. Then, I started my LONG history of starting and stopping this addiction. Here is the timeline, best I can figure:
-April-September 2006. Dipped pretty consistently.
-September October: an "off" period.
-November-January: Dipped
2007
-February: "off" period
-March-April: dipped
-May and June: off period
-June: had a week where I dipped about five times
-June-October: off period
-October-December: dipped
2008
-January: off period
-Feb/March: dipped
-April - big quit. Stayed quit until Thanksgiving day. Wow - look what I gave thanks for. FUcking moron.
-Thanksgiving - Mid-Jan: dipped
2009
-Mid-Jan: Quit. Stayed Quit all the way until September, had a couple dips (maybe 5 over three days or something) and stopped again. Stopped all the way until June 2010.
2010:
Starting in June, I dipped on and off all summer, and then consistently starting in the fall.
2011:
I dipped all the way until March 2011. Then, took two months off. Then, starting dipping again in May. Kept dipping pretty regularly. Took a month off in September and in November. But, dipped all october and December.
2012:
Quit in January. Stayed quit until June. Started again in June and dipped until March 2013.
2013:
Was stopped from March 2013 until September 2015 in NYC. Then, dipped from September until December. I took all of december off
2014:
January, and I was dipping again! Dipped from January 2014 all the way until September 17. I did a big quit push on September 17 2014, and was stopped all the way until early april 2015. Then, I started again.
Now, My Quit was on June 7. That is my quit date. As far as I can reckon, since fall of 2005, I've "quit" about a dozen times. I've ALWAYS wanted this shit out of me, and to be free. However, as y'all know, it's a fucking HELL of a drug.
Anyway - I'm done. No More. I'll quit everyday for the rest of my life. I will NOT have just one. Not again. I've come to far.
Has anybody else had experience quitting SO MANY TIMES? Or am I alone? What did you to to make your last quit stick - and run the distance? Any help is appreciated!
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I can do it forever with you starting this Friday... My quit day. I have been planning it for over a week. Would love for you to join me
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Yo icandoitforever, couple of thoughts...
1. Just to quote some scripture on you: "None of those stoppages can be called a real quit, so in actuality, you have never quit, ever, until now." I think that is what the old timers here would say.
2. I dipped for 38 years and, quite frankly, I really liked the taste of it and enjoyed the spitting. It is a gross fucking habit in public, but in the confines of my own office, I enjoyed it. So, when I stopped multiple times --like you-- I usually was not quitting for myself because I didn't quit. I quit for my family, my wife, my kids, or just to prove that I could stop when I wanted to. But I never quit for me... never truly internalized the QUIT. So, I started back up again after every stoppage.
Bottom line, don't overthink it. JUST QUIT LIKE FUCK EVERY DAMN DAY, ONE DAY AT A TIME. If you do that, and honor your commitment to yourself and your fellow Samurai, then I guarantee you'll experience a freedom and health that you'll never want to give up again.
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Thanks guys - I agree. I had never really QUIT. Just stopped. A lot.
I always was quitting for myself though - nobody even really knows I dip. The difference is that this time I really will quit each day - I love that approach.
Thanks!
How are you doing with your quit Old Dog? Thanks for all the support. Hope things are going well for you!
Rigajig - Good luck tomorrow. I'm excited for you! I quit Sunday, but I quit with you tomorrow as well.
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My quit is strong and I feel good. Like you --and this is why I know this time your quit will last-- I truly quit for myself and internalized the idea that I will NEVER...EVER...have nicotine in my body again. When you realize that you will NEVER buy another can, it's a liberating feeling, but weird to know it's truly over.
Of course, I could still get up and go right to the gas station at any moment, which is why I don't get complacent or take it for granted. But these cravings are way more easy to deal with at day 16 than with my Days 6-10.
Psyched for you man. Proud to quit with you.
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Icandoitforever,
We have all been there stopped and started numerous times for many reasons. Hunting season, fishing season, celebrating, giving thanks, or just hanging with old friends. Mine is as a crutch because I don't think I can do it without. Good times and bad just kept returning to the can. Well here's to leaning on people not a drug and to being quit every morning and every night. I quit with you today and tomorrow!
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I guess forever equals 7 days? Too much talk, not enough action. Quitting is hard, and not for everyone.
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I guess forever equals 7 days? Too much talk, not enough action. Quitting is hard, and not for everyone.
Nah.
Quitting is for everyone. This dude can quit forever.
He just has to get through this moment.
You can't do forever until you quit today.
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I guess forever equals 7 days? Too much talk, not enough action. Quitting is hard, and not for everyone.
Nah.
Quitting is for everyone. This dude can quit forever.
He just has to get through this moment.
You can't do forever until you quit today.
Looks like he's a professional stopper.
At least he has another entry for his "history of dip". How lame is that? A time line for his dipping and stopping career?
Here's my history of dip....
Quit, June 4th 2012.
The End.
I wouldn't even dignify listing anything before that. What the fuck for?
Get your head out of your fucking ass and QUIT. Stop fucking Stopping.
QUIT on...
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June 17th 2015. Day 1.
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June 17th 2015. Day 1. The day I stopped being a pussy and fucking over my brothers in quit
I fixed it for you ...
'facepalm''
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June 17th 2015. Day 1. The day I stopped being a pussy and fucking over my brothers in quit
I fixed it for you ...
'facepalm''
Thanks Smeds 'oh yeah'
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June 17th 2015. Day 1. The day I stopped being a pussy and fucking over my brothers in quit
I fixed it for you ...
'facepalm''
Thanks Smeds 'oh yeah'
Get back on that horse and come back stronger. Everyone has caved at some point even if it wasn't on KTC. So long as you learn from it and keep your word you can possibly gain back the trust of your quit group. Routing for you man.
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June 17th 2015. Day 1. The day I stopped being a pussy and fucking over my brothers in quit
I fixed it for you ...
'facepalm''
Thanks Smeds 'oh yeah'
Get back on that horse and come back stronger. Everyone has caved at some point even if it wasn't on KTC. So long as you learn from it and keep your word you can possibly gain back the trust of your quit group. Routing for you man.
^^^Yes. Now that brotherhood and honor are part of the equation there are zero acceptable excuses for failure.
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So what you going to do with this chance?
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So what you going to do with this chance?
I absolutely love KTC. Man - I GET IT. I feel so good about being quit. I honestly feel so happy just being on this forum and reading about all you fuckers.
Makes me excited to be quit. I haven't ever felt this way - not really - in all my stoppages before. Commitment to myself and something bigger - this community. I love the way this feels.
Thanks guys - even those busting my ass (or especially you guys).
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I've just been reading a lot of intro threads - came across a post where someone was "afraid" during their first day. Afraid of being nervous, of craves, of missing dip.
Well DAMN - that is one crazy-assed needy weed. I mean seriously - I would dump any girl that needed me so bad she couldn't go a single day without me. Why do dippers worship that nic bitch so much?
I absolutely hate here. I'll kill her every damned day.
I've been pretty blah today. Not really bad - mostly just not myself, not as easy and lighthearted. A little snappy. Got into a little argument with my best friend. Can't really seem to "access my personality" if that makes sense. Anyway - best part of the day has been reading these forums. I know it gets better, and honestly I don't really mind it being bad right now. SO interesting learning about the quit and really deep diving into this addiction.
See you on roll tomorrow!
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Accessing your personality = rewiring your brain. That's gonna take a while. Earlier in my quit, hell somedays I would have to stop and say, damn did I just say that. Hey but it gets much better, 176 days later I still have my days, addict mind - hell with this I'm going to get a tin! Ktc mind- myself and brothers and sisters will get through this together! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
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Accessing your personality = rewiring your brain. That's gonna take a while. Earlier in my quit, hell somedays I would have to stop and say, damn did I just say that. Hey but it gets much better, 176 days later I still have my days, addict mind - hell with this I'm going to get a tin! Ktc mind- myself and brothers and sisters will get through this together! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Thanks Pab! I totally get what you mean with the "did I just say that?" part. I swear I was having a conversation last night and my mouth felt like it was sitting across the table from me.
Congrats on 176, and proud to quit with you today!
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I swear I was having a conversation last night and my mouth felt like it was sitting across the table from me.
Yes to this. Day 6 and the last couple have definitely felt like living in the 3rd person. Thanks for posting, needed this today.
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I swear I was having a conversation last night and my mouth felt like it was sitting across the table from me.
Yes to this. Day 6 and the last couple have definitely felt like living in the 3rd person. Thanks for posting, needed this today.
Glad it helped a little bit, King Nothing! The good new is . . . I now only feel like that about 1/3 of my days. (I'm on day 30). Actually, the last two days were really bad in the "third party" sense. Today, though, I've felt great. It's amazing how much it continues to improve each week.
Stay strong - it REALLY does get better. Even though it feels like you've been stuck in this week forever . . .. it's only been a week. A month from now, you'll look back and realize that things are SO much better than they EVER were when you dipped.
Proud to quit with you!
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Gratz on your month!
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Proud to quit with you!
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Ican my friend, how are you? Day 32 hell yes! The fog the 3rd person, learn to deal with it ,be with you off and on for a while! It's so much worth it! You need some more digits just pm me. Quit on my friend!
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Thanks for the support guys. One month feel so great! I can't believe how much money and "I've got to get out of here to stuff my mouth full of cancerous weed residue" moments I've saved in the last month.
Still go up and down, but the ups are steadily rising. So, so, so worth it. As I type this - I'm actually craving but man, I would never go back!
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Thanks for the support guys. One month feel so great! I can't believe how much money and "I've got to get out of here to stuff my mouth full of cancerous weed residue" moments I've saved in the last month.
Still go up and down, but the ups are steadily rising. So, so, so worth it. As I type this - I'm actually craving but man, I would never go back!
For what it's worth, I crave every day but it's so much easier to say 'Finger' nic! I'm so much happier and for once i can say I'm damn proud of myself for the 202 days clean, because I didn't think I could ever say that!
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Yesterday I hit 40 days clean. It's funny - I got congratulations from the Badass Samurai (who are the most badass quitters I know), but it was in the middle of one of the worst, foggiest, craviest days I've had. I felt pretty good throughout my thirties, and then BAM. Last night I could barely think straight, could hardly interact with my friends, and I felt like utter hell.
All that said, I was excited to wake up in the morning and post roll. I get excited to post roll - and I enjoy doing it. It's a great victory. I KNOW today I'm not going to have nicotine. Even if I have an awful crave - I'll worry about that tomorrow. And, guess what - that's exactly what happened yesterday.
Quitting each day is so simple and so easy - and your body and mind heal a little each day. You feel less like and idiot for HAVING dipped, and more like a legend for all the days before this that you've quit, and the fact that you've chosen to say FU to Nic today.
Even when she comes back with a vengeance (like last night), that makes me feel good - I wouldn't say I enjoyed last night, but it felt damned good to "say no" and wake up clean this morning.
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Yesterday I hit 40 days clean. It's funny - I got congratulations from the Badass Samurai (who are the most badass quitters I know), but it was in the middle of one of the worst, foggiest, craviest days I've had. I felt pretty good throughout my thirties, and then BAM. Last night I could barely think straight, could hardly interact with my friends, and I felt like utter hell.
All that said, I was excited to wake up in the morning and post roll. I get excited to post roll - and I enjoy doing it. It's a great victory. I KNOW today I'm not going to have nicotine. Even if I have an awful crave - I'll worry about that tomorrow. And, guess what - that's exactly what happened yesterday.
Quitting each day is so simple and so easy - and your body and mind heal a little each day. You feel less like and idiot for HAVING dipped, and more like a legend for all the days before this that you've quit, and the fact that you've chosen to say FU to Nic today.
Even when she comes back with a vengeance (like last night), that makes me feel good - I wouldn't say I enjoyed last night, but it felt damned good to "say no" and wake up clean this morning.
That's the kind of attitude it take to succeed at this. Well done!
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Congrats on your HOF day Icandoitforever!
Cheers to +1's from now on.
'party2'