KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: sayrahanne on May 27, 2011, 10:22:00 AM
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I had began dipping when I was 17. Worst. Decision. Ever.
That's why I decided the best day to quit was the SAME day I started 4 years ago.
That was 9 days ago, but I never introduced myself.
My name is Sarah. My weakness was Skoal. I was one of few people to dip in my social circle, but I was the only girl. I don't even know why I kept doing it after I tried it. I've heard many different things, received some odd looks, but continued to dip.
I knew the consequences. I still did it. I've quit (unsuccessfully) many times before. I never did it for myself. I did it because of the bitching I heard from friends. From family. Once I did it for a fast at my former church. I always came back.
Last week, a girl that i'm a nanny for (i'm a nanny for a LOT of kids) brought up how she couldn't wait to go to the tanning bed. I fussed at her. I am terrified of skin cancer... I Wear SPF EVERYDAY. I don't lay out, and damn sure don't use a tanning bed. That's when it finally hit me.
I was being such a hypocrite. I'm over here trying to be healthy, and telling her how something she enjoys doing can cause cancer so she needed to stop... when I was doing the same damn thing. Right when I said it, it was a reality check.
I wasn't ready that evening, but the next morning I said goodbye to dip. The fog sucked. I yelled and snapped on a LOT of people. I've woke up in the middle of the night every night. But I know it gets easier... This quit is for me. While it might make many people I know happy, it's about me and no one else.
(Sorry if I type to much, but I blog a lot.)
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Welcome SA. This is the BEST. DECISION. EVER.
Glad you found us. Looks like you nailed Roll Call...so pull u[ a chair, get comfy, and read all you can.
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Welcome Sarah...I sent you a couple of PM's that were real helpful for me early on. Do a lot of reading, especially HoF speeches and get hooked up with some people from your group. If you need anything PM me
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Hey Sarah,
First, This is the best decision you will ever make, it is also the toughest, no doubt. I was a smoker for 22 years, as long as you have been alive!! and I chose to take my life back, not be controlled by it anymore. It has been very difficult at times, but, the support I have from this site has quite literally saved me.
I am a female quitter too. I was a bit skeptical at first of joining a predominatly male site, but they get it, I feel like I now have 200 brothers, who at any time would be there for me, As I would for them, Take what you need, leave the rest.
I also see you are from GA, I am too. We shall talk of that later, right now, you need to do as Loot says, and he says alot........pull up a chair, get comfy. and Read girlfriend!!!! you need anything, you let me know. Im here for you..
You have the most important part down, you posted roll, that is your promise, we take that very seriously here. You gave me your word, you wont dip today. I have no reason not to believe you, and every reason to support you.
Welcome to the family.
we are a bit dysfunctional, but love overflows.
Michelle.
April 11.
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Hi Sarah. Like everyone says, welcome, read, post roll. There are a couple things I wanted to just talk about in your intro:
I don't even know why I kept doing it after I tried it. I've heard many different things, received some odd looks, but continued to dip.
It's because you're an addict. We all are. We would (used to) do ANYTHING for a fix...anything. You are not alone.
I knew the consequences. I still did it. I've quit (unsuccessfully) many times before. I never did it for myself. I did it because of the bitching I heard from friends. From family. Once I did it for a fast at my former church. I always came back.
Again. Addict! Nicotine is very, VERY addictive. You once were weak. You are strong today because you have all of us behind you. Stay strong. It's going to suck...and then it's going to suck some more...and then it's going to suck just a little more....but it gets better - I promise.
The fog sucked. I yelled and snapped on a LOT of people. I've woke up in the middle of the night every night. But I know it gets easier... This quit is for me. While it might make many people I know happy, it's about me and no one else.
All healthy symptoms from quitting. Keep it up. It gets better.
(Sorry if I type to much, but I blog a lot.)
You can NOT be too active here. You can NOT type too much. If it helps you keep the shit out of your face, then put it down here.
Some advice (since you like to blog) use this thread as a sort or journal, or your own personal blog. Update daily, hourly, whatever. You might also want to get over to Quit4today.com. It's KTC's blog page. If you want to get signed up, PM me and I can get you in touch with the guy that will hook you up.
Three things to do from here on out:
1. Post roll EVERY day (as early as possible)
2. Keep your WORD.
3. Repeat.
Those are the three most important things on your plate for the immediate future.
Let me know if I can help.
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Thanks you guys. I appreciate the support. I may have a lot of people I know behind me, but it's even better having people I never met that support me as well. I know once an addict, always an addict... but I'm better than my addiction. I won't let it control me, or even be the death of me. Not only do I have ya'll to help, but the good Lord hears my prayers everyday to make it easier. Can't wait to make it to 100 full days!
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Thanks you guys. I appreciate the support. I may have a lot of people I know behind me, but it's even better having people I never met that support me as well. I know once an addict, always an addict... but I'm better than my addiction. I won't let it control me, or even be the death of me. Not only do I have ya'll to help, but the good Lord hears my prayers everyday to make it easier. Can't wait to make it to 100 full days!
Welcome, SA. 100 days is a milestone, not a final destination. Just focus on today right now. Keep getting up every morning and posting roll first thing and then doing whatever it takes to keep your word and stay nicotine free. The only day that matters right now is TODAY. Good to be quit with you.
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Welcome to the best decision you'll ever make.
Quit for YOU
Quit today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
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I know 100 isn't the final destination, but it'll feel good. Everyday without it will be another good day (not easy, but good). I did the math, and if had never dipped I would have right over 2 grand. That is so crazy that I let something that doesn't care about me take control of me. I won't go back to that.
I made a promise to a ton of people by putting my name on that roll call. I also made that promise to myself. I hate when people break their promises and I don't want to be one of those people. The quit may be for me, but after reading so many stories I realize how big the magnitude of just putting my name on that roll call is. I also see how some of the people who quit, and then fell back to nicotine, got called out. That's an awful feeling knowing you've disappointed someone. I won't let any of you, or myself down. I'm determined to get through the rest of my life without another dip (or nicotine of any form of course).
One thing that makes me proud is that I live with someone who dips. I have that temptation there everyday. I just walk out of the room, and listen as his wife tells him that it's sad I quit but he hasn't. Instead of bitching him out, I tell him how good I feel and about how I have one hell of a support group that he can have to when he's ready. Pray that he decides to quit soon, too. You know what they say, Lead by example.
I promise you all have me for the long haul.
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Welcome Sarah....
Congratulations on making a decision to eliminate something that directly threatened your life. That phrase looks relatively melodramatic in print since it is not like someone has a gun pointed at your head, or knife at your throat. However, that seemingly harmless little can that we all fell in love with and placed ahead of everything else in our lives that really mattered, really was a direct threat.
Now that I have that little bit of Hitchcockian melodrama out of the way, 9 days in is a good start. Don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow gets here. It is absolutely amazing how these simple little 24 hour periods stack up, and 100 days will be here before you know it.
Bon Chance, and if you need anything just shoot me a PM and I'll help anyway I can.
Doc
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Sarah: WELCOME ABOARD THE QUITTERS TRAIN!! 'Remshot' Nicofiend
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I know 100 isn't the final destination, but it'll feel good. Everyday without it will be another good day (not easy, but good). I did the math, and if had never dipped I would have right over 2 grand. That is so crazy that I let something that doesn't care about me take control of me. I won't go back to that.
I made a promise to a ton of people by putting my name on that roll call. I also made that promise to myself. I hate when people break their promises and I don't want to be one of those people. The quit may be for me, but after reading so many stories I realize how big the magnitude of just putting my name on that roll call is. I also see how some of the people who quit, and then fell back to nicotine, got called out. That's an awful feeling knowing you've disappointed someone. I won't let any of you, or myself down. I'm determined to get through the rest of my life without another dip (or nicotine of any form of course).
One thing that makes me proud is that I live with someone who dips. I have that temptation there everyday. I just walk out of the room, and listen as his wife tells him that it's sad I quit but he hasn't. Instead of bitching him out, I tell him how good I feel and about how I have one hell of a support group that he can have to when he's ready. Pray that he decides to quit soon, too. You know what they say, Lead by example.
I promise you all have me for the long haul.
Sarah,
I am on day 101. Yesterday, day 100, was a wonderful little celebration in my own mind.
However, today I am so much more proud of myself than I was at any point yesterday.
What I mean by that is every day is like improving drastically over the one before.
I do like the whole HoF idea this site offers, it really is a goal to strive for; however, sometimes it would be nice if there was not so much emphasis placed upon it.
Tomorrow is your HoF day. Once you roll call tomorrow, they day after that is your new HoF day.
Get it. Good.
Please get your phone number out to some people. I know it sounds weird but they may save your life by having it.
PM me if you want to trade 'em.. and no, my wife won't feel threatened , she knows how important it is for people to quit. :P
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Welcome to the party. As everyone else has already said READ, READ, and then READ some more.
There is more quit knowledge here than you could ever hope to find anywhere else and is free for the taking.
Glad you are here, love to see people taking control of their lives again. Get settled in and lets get you quit.
Greg
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I am glad you are here. Let me know if I can help you. I have spoken to a few female dippers in chat. Obviously, there is a bit of a social stigma attached so I want to say that you are very brave to just go ahead and be out in the open and seek the help you need to quit. Your willingness to face this head on can be quite an asset for you. Oh, and we get it. We understand. You are dealing with nothing but a room full of nicotine addicts. We also have the plan to quit that really works. So.....lets get busy quitting...one day at a time.
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Instead of making a new post, I've notice many just continue with their prior post, so that is just what i'm doing. :)
It's day 17, and I have JUST been able to get to a computer. However, my roll was posted for me earlier today. The people here encourage you to read, read, read! I do just that. Therefore, i'm just putting this in case you are new.
Roll call is so important. Your brothers (and a few sisters) will tell you just how important a lot of things are. Reading... Posting Roll... Getting some phone numbers...
IT'S ALL TRUE.
I didn't realize I wouldn't be around a computer all day until about noon. That was when I decided to text in my roll to AmericanNurse (YOU SO ROCK BTW and thank you.). I didn't have to text her. I could have just let my name be off that roll one day. It wouldn't hurt nobody. Some of my brothers would have just over looked it, but a few would have noticed immediately.
I didn't do that. I texted in my roll because I don't want someone for a second to think I gave up on a promise. It was so routine for me to put in a dip at certain times a day, but my new routine involves getting my ass online and posting roll. This quit is a day a time thing, and there are days where I snap on people for no reason for cravings... and days where I forgot I wanted dip.
We're all addicts in here. It's only been 17 days, but I realize just how strong this site, as well as this support is. If you are new, listen to what these people have to say. You may not know them, but they know their shit. If you aren't new, thank you for you support. Even if you've never reached out to me personally, you've reached out to someone and helped them stay on the QUIT track.
STAY QUIT!
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Well said Sayrahanne.
Posting roll means the world - not just for the person posting roll, but for everyone else in the class. I took over the spreadsheet yesterday and it was just a kick in the nuts when I was staring all those yellow boxes in the face. It may seem like it wouldn't hurt nobody and something others may overlook, but I for one will never have a yellow box in my line on that spreadsheet.
Proud to be quit you with you. Keep rolling that boulder up the hill. It's steepest at the bottom.
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Well said Sayrahanne.
Posting roll means the world - not just for the person posting roll, but for everyone else in the class. I took over the spreadsheet yesterday and it was just a kick in the nuts when I was staring all those yellow boxes in the face. It may seem like it wouldn't hurt nobody and something others may overlook, but I for one will never have a yellow box in my line on that spreadsheet.
Proud to be quit you with you. Keep rolling that boulder up the hill. It's steepest at the bottom.
I look at the spreadsheet a lot too... Tough to see yellow. It's easy to have someone else post roll for you, but you have to get involved and get some numbers. You have to give your number too... I gave mine out just so I couldn't slip into the ether. I'm quit and I want you salty bastards chasing me down.
Sarah, you have it right. Post roll every day, post it early. Keep your word, no matter what. Get involved in the quits of your quit brothers and sisters, get involved in the quit of a vet, get involved in throwing down your thoughts (they could very well be the very thing that saves someone and gets them to flush and post roll). Exchange numbers, trade pm's, talk shit, rage, and support. The more involved you are here, the less likely you are to cave, to break your word and sacred bond.
I post roll every day because I need to. I also look for all of my quit brothers and sister because I need them to hold me accountable. Thanks, Sarah and per for posting every day. I'm gald you are both a part of my quit.