KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: TNBoy74 on May 01, 2013, 11:46:00 PM
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Hey Guys (and few Girls on here)
I am TNBoy74- I have to say like everyone else that I am an addict. Dipping for about 22 years- Mostly Red Seal over the past 10 years or so- one or more cans per day. I have been a Hider (Ninja Dipper-term I have learned since being on KTC) pretty much since day 1- I have done every trick in the book to hide and visit with my friend, spent my last $4.00 on many cans of dip, ignored my loved ones to go hide and kill myself with this crap. It makes me ashamed to think of all of the things I have done. (you know it is bad when multiple c-store cashiers in town know your birthday)
I am here for many reasons;
-I am tired of living 2 lives- the one I want everyone to see and the addicted sneaking around life
-I am tired of being so scared of getting cancer that it often consumes me
-I want to stop making excuses to get away and dip instead of doing the important things like spending time with my kids and wonderful wife
-My family deserves better than the crap I give them over this.
-I want to be able to not go into panic mode anytime someone mentions going to a dentist
-I want my life back and stop giving it over to a damn weed
I am so glad to find this group on here- I know being a Hider that part of my healing will eventually be going public with my sin (or bad decision- sorry if the word sin bothers you but I am trying to follow Christ in my life so it is what it is- and yes I have a very very long way to go on this one). I appreciate you guys being that first step. I am not around anyone who dips anymore so I donÂ’t really have people who understand this journey.
Thank you all for sharing your stories- they give me great strength. I will not bore you with my story because it is much like the rest of yours- started dipping with friends in highschool- college got worse, kept getting worse, got married (went into Hider mode) and here I am 22 years later, after a million attempts at quitting I am finally reaching out to you guys.
I pray everyday that my little man at home will not grow up like his daddy in this regard.
I have failed a lot in life but I can no longer fail! I have learned something important about myself. I can not not dip (I hope that makes sense) I have to fill that time with something productive. It is very difficult for me to “NOT” do something I have to fill it with something I can “DO” so I have to find things to “DO” and not try to “NOT” do something. And I have learned all I really have to give is today, and sometimes all I really have is the next few minutes to control, forever is way to long to think about
Thank you guys again for the courage to help me start a journey.
TNBoy74
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Hey Guys (and few Girls on here)
I am TNBoy74- I have to say like everyone else that I am an addict. Dipping for about 22 years- Mostly Red Seal over the past 10 years or so- one or more cans per day. I have been a Hider (Ninja Dipper-term I have learned since being on KTC) pretty much since day 1- I have done every trick in the book to hide and visit with my friend, spent my last $4.00 on many cans of dip, ignored my loved ones to go hide and kill myself with this crap. It makes me ashamed to think of all of the things I have done. (you know it is bad when multiple c-store cashiers in town know your birthday)
I am here for many reasons;
-I am tired of living 2 lives- the one I want everyone to see and the addicted sneaking around life
-I am tired of being so scared of getting cancer that it often consumes me
-I want to stop making excuses to get away and dip instead of doing the important things like spending time with my kids and wonderful wife
-My family deserves better than the crap I give them over this.
-I want to be able to not go into panic mode anytime someone mentions going to a dentist
-I want my life back and stop giving it over to a damn weed
I am so glad to find this group on here- I know being a Hider that part of my healing will eventually be going public with my sin (or bad decision- sorry if the word sin bothers you but I am trying to follow Christ in my life so it is what it is- and yes I have a very very long way to go on this one). I appreciate you guys being that first step. I am not around anyone who dips anymore so I donÂ’t really have people who understand this journey.
Thank you all for sharing your stories- they give me great strength. I will not bore you with my story because it is much like the rest of yours- started dipping with friends in highschool- college got worse, kept getting worse, got married (went into Hider mode) and here I am 22 years later, after a million attempts at quitting I am finally reaching out to you guys.
I pray everyday that my little man at home will not grow up like his daddy in this regard.
I have failed a lot in life but I can no longer fail! I have learned something important about myself. I can not not dip (I hope that makes sense) I have to fill that time with something productive. It is very difficult for me to “NOT” do something I have to fill it with something I can “DO” so I have to find things to “DO” and not try to “NOT” do something. And I have learned all I really have to give is today, and sometimes all I really have is the next few minutes to control, forever is way to long to think about
Thank you guys again for the courage to help me start a journey.
TNBoy74
glad you are here. we make no judgments. if i can help in any way let me know. one day at a time is how this works. post roll make your promise not to dip for today.
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Welcome. glad to hear you are ready to start your journey. I was a dipper for 12 years until 25 days ago. Yup, i've only been quit for 25 days, but it's one of the best decisions I have made. There's a lot of great stories support on this site to help you along your journey.
Join your group and go post roll. I quit with you.
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Bro... Wise decision. Doesn't even the mental change to quit mode feel better!? You can be free- you will be free and we're here to help. Not only that... We'll quit right along with you everyday. Stoked you're here man... I quit right along with you today. Message me if you have any questions or whatever!
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I quit with u TNboy! You know..... The stories are similar concerning our past. Let's make our futures identical in the fact we are both non users!!!!!!
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TNBoy,
Sounds like you have done your reading here our stories are all pretty much the same. Post your roll give your word not to use today. If you get to feeling like you need to talk PM me for my number. I am only day 17 but have been where you are at. I quit with you today.
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-I am tired of being so scared of getting cancer that it often consumes me
-I want to stop making excuses to get away and dip instead of doing the important things like spending time with my kids and wonderful wife
-My family deserves better than the crap I give them over this.
-I want my life back and stop giving it over to a damn weed
I pray everyday that my little man at home will not grow up like his daddy in this regard.
Wow, man..... excellent intro, and the best decision you've ever made to take your life back. I support you 100%.
Just about all of your intro hit home with me, but the excerpts above were particularly gripping. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. You've got quite a few posts already, so I'm guessing you're active in your group. But, if you need more support and another contact, mine is yours for the asking. You're a guy who's trying to fix what is broken in all aspects of his life, and I dig that. KTC has made that struggle a reality for me, so it can do the same for you.
I was slave for 20 years, but I fixed that 961 days ago.
If I can do it, so can you.
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TNboy, I'm quit with you if you need a # pm me!
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Welcome and congrats on quitting. It the best decision you could make. I will quit with you any day! If you need anything at all feel free to pm me.
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Congrats on the quit tnboy74! I will help support you! I just joined and we are in the same group, I'm in tn pm me if you need anything!
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Hey TNboy. You should be on day 99 today I believe. You are posting in the 70's so let us know what is going on.
Your first roll post was
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
New Quitters (post below)
TNBoy74-Day 1- hope I'm posting correctly
Thanks quit with you!
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Ok TNboy we need more info from you "it's the correct days thanks for checking" and the reply to my PM "yes I had a slip and restart" aren't going to cut it. You have slowly pealed your days back since your cave 20 days in, almost the same time as Jake caved, around May 14th to the 15th. Jake manned up and posted the truth. You posted a lie for 70 days, WHY? You have this and three other questions to answer, I think you know what they are! This is bull shit, this is not how this site works, and thank you for taking a shit all over our integrity. Shame on the rest of us for not noticing this sooner. Grow a spine, accept responsibility, and answer the damn questions or take your fake quit elsewhere. Erussell
Are you even quit? And if you say yes how will we know?
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Ok TNboy we need more info from you "it's the correct days thanks for checking" and the reply to my PM "yes I had a slip and restart" aren't going to cut it. You have slowly pealed your days back since your cave 20 days in, almost the same time as Jake caved, around May 14th to the 15th. Jake manned up and posted the truth. You posted a lie for 70 days, WHY? You have this and three other questions to answer, I think you know what they are! This is bull shit, this is not how this site works, and thank you for taking a shit all over our integrity. Shame on the rest of us for not noticing this sooner. Grow a spine, accept responsibility, and answer the damn questions or take your fake quit elsewhere. Erussell
Are you even quit? And if you say yes how will we know?
COME ON! You can't be on this site as long as you have and NOT know that this is Bullshit! You were around when me and Scott came back and countless others! If you caved 20 something days in then you needed to come clean and let our group know. I'm not even sure how I feel about this other then it just feels wrong ( After I typed this I came back to add that I do know what I think about this, It's shit! ). I agree with Eddie though. We NEED an explanation from you! I don't think you understand the concept of group accountability. In 99 Days as member, you have 92 posts to your name! One was your intro! Which you posted and then never responded to any ones welcomes. I barely even knew who you were when Eddie text me this morning about your situation. That's not good! It tells me that you have not bought into this program. We are about more then posting roll drive by style. Which you have not been able to do everyday anyway. Man up and tell us what happened. Posting roll after a cave and not being honest about it is one of the cardinal sins here. Not saying that you need to leave at all, but you do have some explaining to do. Me and Countless others had to be honest! So do you! You were a ninja dipper before you joined and now I have to wonder if you are still a ninja dipper with us! That's not how this should be!
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I have been posting with you since you started. I didn't know that you had caved and started over. shame on me for not checking the spread sheet and keeping up with you. I wanted to post with you because we are both TN boys. I'm feeling kind of let down right now. I did send you a welcome PM but to this day I have not had a response from you. That seems very strange. Not only do you owe your quit group an explanation as to why you caved but you owe me an explanation as well.
Why did you cave?, Why will you not respond to my PM's and my show of support? The support that we give each other on this site is part of what makes it work. I'll be waiting for a reply. But I won't hold my breath.
Mike
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One other thing. I have not been as vocal on this site as I should be. I'm going to work on that. I have posted with TNBoy74 almost everyday for the last 100 days. I also posted almost everyday with suckmydip. Both of these dudes have let me down and taken a giant crap all over the support that I tried to give them. Makes me question whether it's worth the effort.
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One other thing. I have not been as vocal on this site as I should be. I'm going to work on that. I have posted with TNBoy74 almost everyday for the last 100 days. I also posted almost everyday with suckmydip. Both of these dudes have let me down and taken a giant crap all over the support that I tried to give them. Makes me question whether it's worth the effort.
Mike, I am with you, not with these two, but many others. I will continue to offer my support, but the shit sure does get old, when your backing the wrong horse.
Hey TNBoy, why dont you man up, and offer the explanations that are due to your brothers and sisters! You think they will let this slide by? 'Finger'
We can quit with you, and we can support you but you have to be a man first.
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One other thing. I have not been as vocal on this site as I should be. I'm going to work on that. I have posted with TNBoy74 almost everyday for the last 100 days. I also posted almost everyday with suckmydip. Both of these dudes have let me down and taken a giant crap all over the support that I tried to give them. Makes me question whether it's worth the effort.
Mike, I am with you, not with these two, but many others. I will continue to offer my support, but the shit sure does get old, when your backing the wrong horse.
Hey TNBoy, why dont you man up, and offer the explanations that are due to your brothers and sisters! You think they will let this slide by? 'Finger'
We can quit with you, and we can support you but you have to be a man first.
Mike, it is worth it. Your support helped me a ton. You too KKL. Now TN boy take advantage of the support these guys are offering. I will back you too if you come back like a man.
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One other thing. I have not been as vocal on this site as I should be. I'm going to work on that. I have posted with TNBoy74 almost everyday for the last 100 days. I also posted almost everyday with suckmydip. Both of these dudes have let me down and taken a giant crap all over the support that I tried to give them. Makes me question whether it's worth the effort.
Mike, I am with you, not with these two, but many others. I will continue to offer my support, but the shit sure does get old, when your backing the wrong horse.
Hey TNBoy, why dont you man up, and offer the explanations that are due to your brothers and sisters! You think they will let this slide by? 'Finger'
We can quit with you, and we can support you but you have to be a man first.
Mike, it is worth it. Your support helped me a ton. You too KKL. Now TN boy take advantage of the support these guys are offering. I will back you too if you come back like a man.
I agree! We need the support when we are new, And it may be shit upon some times, but for the one or two that make it, we thank you! I needed it, still do.
TNBoy..... Like KK said.... We will not be able to let this go. You slipped through once already! The price of admission is honesty and integrity! you are lacking in that respect! I fixed your roll post this morning after someone bumped you. I put you in our leper colony! Come online today and tell us what happened.
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One other thing. I have not been as vocal on this site as I should be. I'm going to work on that. I have posted with TNBoy74 almost everyday for the last 100 days. I also posted almost everyday with suckmydip. Both of these dudes have let me down and taken a giant crap all over the support that I tried to give them. Makes me question whether it's worth the effort.
Mike, I am with you, not with these two, but many others. I will continue to offer my support, but the shit sure does get old, when your backing the wrong horse.
Hey TNBoy, why dont you man up, and offer the explanations that are due to your brothers and sisters! You think they will let this slide by? 'Finger'
We can quit with you, and we can support you but you have to be a man first.
Mike, it is worth it. Your support helped me a ton. You too KKL. Now TN boy take advantage of the support these guys are offering. I will back you too if you come back like a man.
I agree! We need the support when we are new, And it may be shit upon some times, but for the one or two that make it, we thank you! I needed it, still do.
TNBoy..... Like KK said.... We will not be able to let this go. You slipped through once already! The price of admission is honesty and integrity! you are lacking in that respect! I fixed your roll post this morning after someone bumped you. I put you in our leper colony! Come online today and tell us what happened.
We cant quit bros n Sisses if that is a word, reach just one... save just one, cant save everyone but the one you do save should give you quit wood to keep it up. PUN intended...KK if you didnt show up when you did who knows... Maybe I would be fine maybe I wouldnt...no one knows who will pull their wieght and who wont...what if we said fuckit on every caver...I know a few dudes I wouldnt have gotten to know if we did that I know a few that I wouldnt have had the pleasure of having them in my quit. POINT is we keep going that just ONE is waiting on us...
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Integrity (in-teg-ri-ty)
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: INCORRUPTIBILITY
2: an unimpaired condition : SOUNDNESS
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : COMPLETENESS
TNboy, please explain what you did and how you modified your number of days.
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TNBoy74- yes I have lived a lie on here for a long time- I slipped early on and never confessed- I have betrayed the trust of everyone on here trying to help everyone- with that I must say I admire everyone on here and their efforts to rid their lives of addiction. With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community. I must seek people in my life and not hiding behind a website. You can think of my as you wish which I'm sure is bad, but I will be keeping up my efforts with the help of those around me. Again I apologize for betraying your trust.
Jake frawley's response......
Are you fucking kidding me? You lie to this group for more then 2 months and then when you get caught you take your weak ass home and don't want to play anymore? You absolutely missed the concept of what we do here. We are a group of accountability and trust. Your lame ass apology is weak ass addict talk. A man who wants to be quit would own up to his actions and seek help. Instead you leave because you say this site makes you feel like you are hiding? You were hiding long before you came on this site and lied. Have you even stopped chewing? I am guessing you have a fat lip of cat shit in right now while you cry about how you are the victim. You need to grow up and be a man. Because no one here can help a man who lacks a backbone. I'm sure some people here will think I am being harsh here, but I do not care because you shit on my group and then made a weak ass post in response before leaving like an addict who can't handle being held accountable. I'm done talking..... I'm too aggravated. I've never seen someone quit so easily.
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TNBoy74- yes I have lived a lie on here for a long time- I slipped early on and never confessed- I have betrayed the trust of everyone on here trying to help everyone- with that I must say I admire everyone on here and their efforts to rid their lives of addiction. With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community. I must seek people in my life and not hiding behind a website. You can think of my as you wish which I'm sure is bad, but I will be keeping up my efforts with the help of those around me. Again I apologize for betraying your trust.
Jake frawley's response......
Are you fucking kidding me? You lie to this group for more then 2 months and then when you get caught you take your weak ass home and don't want to play anymore? You absolutely missed the concept of what we do here. We are a group of accountability and trust. Your lame ass apology is weak ass addict talk. A man who wants to be quit would own up to his actions and seek help. Instead you leave because you say this site makes you feel like you are hiding? You were hiding long before you came on this site and lied. Have you even stopped chewing? I am guessing you have a fat lip of cat shit in right now while you cry about how you are the victim. You need to grow up and be a man. Because no one here can help a man who lacks a backbone. I'm sure some people here will think I am being harsh here, but I do not care because you shit on my group and then made a weak ass post in response before leaving like an addict who can't handle being held accountable. I'm done talking..... I'm too aggravated. I've never seen someone quit so easily.
Well said Jake. This guy was shittin in our house for way too long.
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TNBoy74- yes I have lived a lie on here for a long time- I slipped early on and never confessed- I have betrayed the trust of everyone on here trying to help everyone- with that I must say I admire everyone on here and their efforts to rid their lives of addiction. With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community. I must seek people in my life and not hiding behind a website. You can think of my as you wish which I'm sure is bad, but I will be keeping up my efforts with the help of those around me. Again I apologize for betraying your trust.
Jake frawley's response......
Are you fucking kidding me? You lie to this group for more then 2 months and then when you get caught you take your weak ass home and don't want to play anymore? You absolutely missed the concept of what we do here. We are a group of accountability and trust. Your lame ass apology is weak ass addict talk. A man who wants to be quit would own up to his actions and seek help. Instead you leave because you say this site makes you feel like you are hiding? You were hiding long before you came on this site and lied. Have you even stopped chewing? I am guessing you have a fat lip of cat shit in right now while you cry about how you are the victim. You need to grow up and be a man. Because no one here can help a man who lacks a backbone. I'm sure some people here will think I am being harsh here, but I do not care because you shit on my group and then made a weak ass post in response before leaving like an addict who can't handle being held accountable. I'm done talking..... I'm too aggravated. I've never seen someone quit so easily.
Well said Jake. This guy was shittin in our house for way too long.
boys we cant save everyone agree weak ass post...He said it in his post I will go to back to real people to work on this quit....the same real people he lied to and they let him get away with it. He got caught here and called out....so he is gonna go the path of least resistance which is where his addict brain will be allowed to poison himself. Well Tn Boy good luck to ya
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TNBoy74- yes I have lived a lie on here for a long time- I slipped early on and never confessed- I have betrayed the trust of everyone on here trying to help everyone- with that I must say I admire everyone on here and their efforts to rid their lives of addiction. With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community. I must seek people in my life and not hiding behind a website. You can think of my as you wish which I'm sure is bad, but I will be keeping up my efforts with the help of those around me. Again I apologize for betraying your trust.
Jake frawley's response......
Are you fucking kidding me? You lie to this group for more then 2 months and then when you get caught you take your weak ass home and don't want to play anymore? You absolutely missed the concept of what we do here. We are a group of accountability and trust. Your lame ass apology is weak ass addict talk. A man who wants to be quit would own up to his actions and seek help. Instead you leave because you say this site makes you feel like you are hiding? You were hiding long before you came on this site and lied. Have you even stopped chewing? I am guessing you have a fat lip of cat shit in right now while you cry about how you are the victim. You need to grow up and be a man. Because no one here can help a man who lacks a backbone. I'm sure some people here will think I am being harsh here, but I do not care because you shit on my group and then made a weak ass post in response before leaving like an addict who can't handle being held accountable. I'm done talking..... I'm too aggravated. I've never seen someone quit so easily.
Well said Jake. This guy was shittin in our house for way too long.
TNboy if you leave you are a douche bag. If you stay and do this right you are a bad ass! Which is it? You knew this day was coming, you surely knew! Jake said it well but to sum it up we are not trying to run you off we are trying to fix your broken weak ass quit you have going on. We want to KTC your quit. And as much as we care about your quit, the bull shit you pulled will not be accepted and we are not sorry if that hurts your vigina. Get your ass in here and fucking quit!!! And give us your digits for accountability. Man up!
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With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community.
So you are finally ripping off the nasty Band-Aid you've let infect your quit and want to chuck the whole quit site??
Might I suggest you dive into the deep end of the KTC Kool-Aid pool and start drinking. Your an addict just like everyone here and running away to 'seek out' real people is another planned cave. We are the real people
We know all the ups and downs, all the lies the nic bitch whispers and can assist in your quit. You must embrace the quit and want it more than air.
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TNboy if you leave you are a douche bag. If you stay and do this right you are a bad ass!
That says it all. We are addicts and addicts do stupid shit. While doing stupid shit is not acceptable, we are stupid human addicts and need to learn from our mistakes and never repeat the same mistake twice.
So, you confessed that you caved, hid it, fucked with your #days quit, and got busted. You have admitted to it. While you have broken your credibility rating here, it can be rebuilt with quit, time, 100% posting roll, honesty, integrity, accountability, leadership, and mentoring.
Dry your cryin eyes, put on a clean pair of panties, and get back onto your pink unicorn of quit. Let's go!
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With that I must also say I will no longer be posting- in my efforts to stay anonymous I have missed the real reason of group and community.
So you are finally ripping off the nasty Band-Aid you've let infect your quit and want to chuck the whole quit site??
Might I suggest you dive into the deep end of the KTC Kool-Aid pool and start drinking. Your an addict just like everyone here and running away to 'seek out' real people is another planned cave. We are the real people
We know all the ups and downs, all the lies the nic bitch whispers and can assist in your quit. You must embrace the quit and want it more than air.
I agree with CBird here. We are the real people. The folks on this website are much better support than 90% of the folks I contact face-to-face on a daily basis. Why? Because we have all been throught he same thing, and we know what it takes to quit. With that comes the ability to see through each others' addictions. For example: my wife is amazingly supportive and proud of my quit, but she is very poor at making sure I stay that way. The guys and gals on KTC keep me in check.
I saw some statement here about hiding behind a keyboard. We're not hiding.
So, yes..... we are the real people. Well, at least CBird and I are, because he and I sat down face-to-face and discussed our quit over a couple beers last year.