KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: J2thaZ on June 02, 2014, 05:00:00 PM
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Whattup KTC community?! I'm 31 years old and have been dipping for ten years. The first five were casual dips on occasion. The last five or so have been full-blown closet ninja dipping. I've been married five years this summer and have a three year old son and 9 month old daughter. Every time I look at one of those kids I want to punch myself in the face for taking time away from them to sneak a dip.
I'm done with this shit. I've tried several times to be done with it before, but fell back into it after a stressful day at work, or something equally as stupid. I will own this quit. My brother and best friends chew, and my dad smokes so it's all around me. I'm not a follower by nature, but I had myself convinced that dipping couldn't be that bad if all these people close to me would choose to do it. Why can't I? I'm done with that addict-speak. I've flirted with disaster for too long. No longer will I let dip keep me away from the most important things in my life.
I'm looking forward to the next 100 days (and beyond) with September 2014. Day 2 is like walking around in somebody else's shoes, with coke bottle glasses on, your hair on fire, and a train blasting it's horn in your ears all at the same time, but it's better than succumbing to the can.
I quit the rest of today. See you tomorrow.
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Whattup KTC community?! I'm 31 years old and have been dipping for ten years. The first five were casual dips on occasion. The last five or so have been full-blown closet ninja dipping. I've been married five years this summer and have a three year old son and 9 month old daughter. Every time I look at one of those kids I want to punch myself in the face for taking time away from them to sneak a dip.
I'm done with this shit. I've tried several times to be done with it before, but fell back into it after a stressful day at work, or something equally as stupid. I will own this quit. My brother and best friends chew, and my dad smokes so it's all around me. I'm not a follower by nature, but I had myself convinced that dipping couldn't be that bad if all these people close to me would choose to do it. Why can't I? I'm done with that addict-speak. I've flirted with disaster for too long. No longer will I let dip keep me away from the most important things in my life.
I'm looking forward to the next 100 days (and beyond) with September 2014. Day 2 is like walking around in somebody else's shoes, with coke bottle glasses on, your hair on fire, and a train blasting it's horn in your ears all at the same time, but it's better than succumbing to the can.
I quit the rest of today. See you tomorrow.
Welcome. If you're ready to quit for real, this is where you want to be. It sounds like you already have roll call figured out. Do this EVERY DAY without fail. This is the foundation of what we do here. Beyond that, make some contacts and get involved. If you want to swap numbers or have any questions, shoot me a PM.
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Whattup KTC community?! I'm 31 years old and have been dipping for ten years. The first five were casual dips on occasion. The last five or so have been full-blown closet ninja dipping. I've been married five years this summer and have a three year old son and 9 month old daughter. Every time I look at one of those kids I want to punch myself in the face for taking time away from them to sneak a dip.
I'm done with this shit. I've tried several times to be done with it before, but fell back into it after a stressful day at work, or something equally as stupid. I will own this quit. My brother and best friends chew, and my dad smokes so it's all around me. I'm not a follower by nature, but I had myself convinced that dipping couldn't be that bad if all these people close to me would choose to do it. Why can't I? I'm done with that addict-speak. I've flirted with disaster for too long. No longer will I let dip keep me away from the most important things in my life.
I'm looking forward to the next 100 days (and beyond) with September 2014. Day 2 is like walking around in somebody else's shoes, with coke bottle glasses on, your hair on fire, and a train blasting it's horn in your ears all at the same time, but it's better than succumbing to the can.
I quit the rest of today. See you tomorrow.
Welcome. If you're ready to quit for real, this is where you want to be. It sounds like you already have roll call figured out. Do this EVERY DAY without fail. This is the foundation of what we do here. Beyond that, make some contacts and get involved. If you want to swap numbers or have any questions, shoot me a PM.
I freaking love this intro. I always appreciate when someone takes the time to read and understand KTC before posting their intro. It is clear to me that you have been lurking for awhile. Welcome PM me your number I'd like to add you to my text list. I will be watching!
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Today is my Day 2 also - I totally agree with how you say it feels. It's rough. We'll HOF the same day though, man. We'll get there. If you need a number to text or call, PM me and I'll send it if you need it.
I have a 3 year old daughter, who normally lives with her Mom since our divorce. I see her ever week and usually keep her a night or two. I hated having to make some excuse and leave her in front of the tv for 20-30 minutes when I have her, just so I could go outside and pack my lip for a few. Came to my senses, and so have you. TMTLF - Too Much To Live For, bro.
I quit with you today man. We've got this.
--Rob
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Today is my Day 2 also - I totally agree with how you say it feels. It's rough. We'll HOF the same day though, man. We'll get there. If you need a number to text or call, PM me and I'll send it if you need it.
I have a 3 year old daughter, who normally lives with her Mom since our divorce. I see her ever week and usually keep her a night or two. I hated having to make some excuse and leave her in front of the tv for 20-30 minutes when I have her, just so I could go outside and pack my lip for a few. Came to my senses, and so have you. TMTLF - Too Much To Live For, bro.
I quit with you today man. We've got this.
--Rob
Yah man, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I even had it down to a science. The shows my son watches are 23 minutes commercial-free, then commercials for the rest of the half-hour. I'd turn one on for him, pack a lip, spit it out after about 22 minutes, and be back just in time to turn it off before the commercials started to piss him off. What an idiot.
I dig the TMTLF too. It's a great motto to go by. The fog sucks, but cancer is worse. Thanks again Rob, I PM'd you my number too.
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Today is my Day 2 also - I totally agree with how you say it feels. It's rough. We'll HOF the same day though, man. We'll get there. If you need a number to text or call, PM me and I'll send it if you need it.
I have a 3 year old daughter, who normally lives with her Mom since our divorce. I see her ever week and usually keep her a night or two. I hated having to make some excuse and leave her in front of the tv for 20-30 minutes when I have her, just so I could go outside and pack my lip for a few. Came to my senses, and so have you. TMTLF - Too Much To Live For, bro.
I quit with you today man. We've got this.
--Rob
Yah man, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I even had it down to a science. The shows my son watches are 23 minutes commercial-free, then commercials for the rest of the half-hour. I'd turn one on for him, pack a lip, spit it out after about 22 minutes, and be back just in time to turn it off before the commercials started to piss him off. What an idiot.
I dig the TMTLF too. It's a great motto to go by. The fog sucks, but cancer is worse. Thanks again Rob, I PM'd you my number too.
I like your attitude. Keep it up, every damn day!
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Today is my Day 2 also - I totally agree with how you say it feels. It's rough. We'll HOF the same day though, man. We'll get there. If you need a number to text or call, PM me and I'll send it if you need it.
I have a 3 year old daughter, who normally lives with her Mom since our divorce. I see her ever week and usually keep her a night or two. I hated having to make some excuse and leave her in front of the tv for 20-30 minutes when I have her, just so I could go outside and pack my lip for a few. Came to my senses, and so have you. TMTLF - Too Much To Live For, bro.
I quit with you today man. We've got this.
--Rob
Yah man, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I even had it down to a science. The shows my son watches are 23 minutes commercial-free, then commercials for the rest of the half-hour. I'd turn one on for him, pack a lip, spit it out after about 22 minutes, and be back just in time to turn it off before the commercials started to piss him off. What an idiot.
I dig the TMTLF too. It's a great motto to go by. The fog sucks, but cancer is worse. Thanks again Rob, I PM'd you my number too.
I like your attitude. Keep it up, every damn day!
iQuit (apple format) and Rob, make sure you two exchange numbers and build a team of accountability (shoot me a PM for my digits and I'll be glad to jump aboard). In addition to posting roll, make an extra promise to each other and fight through the first few days an hour at a time if that's what it takes.
KTC is all about accountability and brotherhood ...these lead to success. Those who maintain their quit and continue to succeed day in and day out have built strong brotherhoods of accountability. It's all intertwined and you will gain what you put into your quit. I promise you that.
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Today is my Day 2 also - I totally agree with how you say it feels. It's rough. We'll HOF the same day though, man. We'll get there. If you need a number to text or call, PM me and I'll send it if you need it.
I have a 3 year old daughter, who normally lives with her Mom since our divorce. I see her ever week and usually keep her a night or two. I hated having to make some excuse and leave her in front of the tv for 20-30 minutes when I have her, just so I could go outside and pack my lip for a few. Came to my senses, and so have you. TMTLF - Too Much To Live For, bro.
I quit with you today man. We've got this.
--Rob
Yah man, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I even had it down to a science. The shows my son watches are 23 minutes commercial-free, then commercials for the rest of the half-hour. I'd turn one on for him, pack a lip, spit it out after about 22 minutes, and be back just in time to turn it off before the commercials started to piss him off. What an idiot.
I dig the TMTLF too. It's a great motto to go by. The fog sucks, but cancer is worse. Thanks again Rob, I PM'd you my number too.
I like your attitude. Keep it up, every damn day!
iQuit (apple format) and Rob, make sure you two exchange numbers and build a team of accountability (shoot me a PM for my digits and I'll be glad to jump aboard). In addition to posting roll, make an extra promise to each other and fight through the first few days an hour at a time if that's what it takes.
KTC is all about accountability and brotherhood ...these lead to success. Those who maintain their quit and continue to succeed day in and day out have built strong brotherhoods of accountability. It's all intertwined and you will gain what you put into your quit. I promise you that.
Done. He's already tried sexting with me and I told I wasn't into that sort of thing. I don't think he took it personally though, he's still sending me awkward text pics of himself...
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I wanted to share an interesting story because I'm sure this kind of thing has happened to some others as well. Today is day 2 into the battle. I noticed something today when I was walking around the office at work. I used to never use my right thumb or index finger to open a door. I'm not a germaphobe or anything, but subconsciously I knew that in short order I would be placing those two fingers into a can of worm dirt to score a pinch. Then when I was on the bus later, I noticed that when I used to grab the handles on the bus or the support poles when standing up, I never used to grip with my thumb or index finger either, just the other three. Several more times today I noticed using those two fingers for stuff that I subconsciously hadn't been using for the past five years or so (except to grab another pinch of course).
What the hell was I thinking?? That somehow the door handle was nastier than the poison I was about to put into my lip??
Now only two days into my quit I already notice consciously stuff that I was doing subconsciously when I was dipping. All because I've started the process of ridding myself of this mind numbing poison. Despite the fog, I'm already glad I'm here.
I'm glad KTC is here, and I'm glad to be here with some bad ass quitters willing to take their lives back. I know I am.
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Sorry for the sexting, bro. Must be the lack of nicotine, because I haven't put an ounce of that stuff back into me :) lol
Take your life back, man. Tons of badasses on here who have come before us, who are helping us through it. This place is going to help me stay quit, I know it.
TMTLF bro!
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Glad to have you with us. Post roll every damn day and promise to stay free of nicotine. Reach out to people and establish an accountability network, it really helps. Shoot me a PM if you need another number.
This forum and the people on it are only as helpful as you allow them to be in your quit. Get involved.
Proud to be quit with you.
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Good to see you posting roll. First few days are the hardest and it gets tons better sez the guy on day 30. A month ago is oh so very fresh and raw in my mind. I will never forget the feeling and will use it daily, NAFAR.
I gotta ask, is the avatar at least of legal age? Can't really tell. Never understood the BDT crowd.
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There's a legal age to wear a tie? I quit with I Quit Today, and thank him for the optical illusion. Is there a site for cool avatars?
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Thanks all for the support.
Another interesting anecdote happened this morning and really solidified my reason for being here. I got back from the gym and was ready to jump in the shower. My three-year old son came running into our room crying and the only thing that he wanted was to take a shower with me before I went to work. As a ninja dipper I would have had a dip in until three days ago, and would have had to turn him down like the true wank I'd become so that he didn't see me with one in. Today was a different story.
I'm already rewriting those chapters that I had come perilously close to losing out on until I made the commitment to take my life back. I'm winning nic bitch and this snowball runs downhill; nothing you can do to stop me.
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Thanks all for the support.
Another interesting anecdote happened this morning and really solidified my reason for being here. I got back from the gym and was ready to jump in the shower. My three-year old son came running into our room crying and the only thing that he wanted was to take a shower with me before I went to work. As a ninja dipper I would have had a dip in until three days ago, and would have had to turn him down like the true wank I'd become so that he didn't see me with one in. Today was a different story.
I'm already rewriting those chapters that I had come perilously close to losing out on until I made the commitment to take my life back. I'm winning nic bitch and this snowball runs downhill; nothing you can do to stop me.
Bravo, you are getting it! I have been quit for 61 days, and still have situations I haven't faced yet being quit, and I get the goofiest damn smile on my face realizing I don't have to ninja dip or hide in the corner because I have shit in my mouth.
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Thanks all for the support.
Another interesting anecdote happened this morning and really solidified my reason for being here. I got back from the gym and was ready to jump in the shower. My three-year old son came running into our room crying and the only thing that he wanted was to take a shower with me before I went to work. As a ninja dipper I would have had a dip in until three days ago, and would have had to turn him down like the true wank I'd become so that he didn't see me with one in. Today was a different story.
I'm already rewriting those chapters that I had come perilously close to losing out on until I made the commitment to take my life back. I'm winning nic bitch and this snowball runs downhill; nothing you can do to stop me.
Bravo, you are getting it! I have been quit for 61 days, and still have situations I haven't faced yet being quit, and I get the goofiest damn smile on my face realizing I don't have to ninja dip or hide in the corner because I have shit in my mouth.
Thanks Thumb. My wife asked me last night if I needed to go take a shower (like I did every evening for the past year or so). I said no, I'm good. She looked at me like I had about three heads. Not ditching my family any more to selfishly try to kill myself. Not today. +1
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Thanks all for the support.
Another interesting anecdote happened this morning and really solidified my reason for being here. I got back from the gym and was ready to jump in the shower. My three-year old son came running into our room crying and the only thing that he wanted was to take a shower with me before I went to work. As a ninja dipper I would have had a dip in until three days ago, and would have had to turn him down like the true wank I'd become so that he didn't see me with one in. Today was a different story.
I'm already rewriting those chapters that I had come perilously close to losing out on until I made the commitment to take my life back. I'm winning nic bitch and this snowball runs downhill; nothing you can do to stop me.
Bravo, you are getting it! I have been quit for 61 days, and still have situations I haven't faced yet being quit, and I get the goofiest damn smile on my face realizing I don't have to ninja dip or hide in the corner because I have shit in my mouth.
Thanks Thumb. My wife asked me last night if I needed to go take a shower (like I did every evening for the past year or so). I said no, I'm good. She looked at me like I had about three heads. Not ditching my family any more to selfishly try to kill myself. Not today. +1
If you haven't told the wife you should do so. Will give you a close see every day lives in the same house supporter. You need her in your camp. The kids are too young to tell but definitely fess up to the wife. The more she understands the better off you will be and you'll get hall passes for the times where you are truly an asshole. I was lucky enough to get one this weekend when I showed my ass to my know it all 18 yr old daughter who I love dearly.
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I agree with Done4Me, I told my co-workers and family I was quitting, and to remind me that if I was being a dick to kindly find a way to vent the rage (hint, hint, do it here or on chat!!).
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I see your quit bro! I'm going to be watching you. Savor the feelings you're experiencing right now. Savor these early days of your quit. It sucks, doesn't it? Stay true to your word, your daily promise, and you will never have to experience this shitty feeling again! You will see clearly again, you will gain your patience back, you will be able to function and enjoy functioning nic free! Quit w/you today!
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Man you are rocking it out. Keep the momentum up. You will continue to see those great moments that happen because dip didn't. Your kids will appreciate it too. Today I'll +1 with you. Stay quit bro.
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I appreciate the support. It's what makes this site successful. All I need to do to earn, post roll and keep a promise. As the vets like to say, nothing more, nothing less. I will continue to post roll and keep that promise. In the words of a man wise beyond his years: "Can't touch this."
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I appreciate the support. It's what makes this site successful. All I need to do to earn, post roll and keep a promise. As the vets like to say, nothing more, nothing less. I will continue to post roll and keep that promise. In the words of a man wise beyond his years: "Can't touch this."
That man made millions, then filed for bankruptcy. You need a better role model; may I suggest someone else (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/214469/)?
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The NB definitely paid me a visit tonight. The Mrs. went to bed early, and I flipped on a baseball game like I always do when she goes to bed early. Lo and behold, I found myself with an itch that I couldn't quite scratch, telling me just one won't hurt ya, you can't get cancer from just one.
NB there's no such thing as just one for me any more. There used to be before you took control of my impulses. Today is day 3 in taking that back. One might not kill me, but I'm not willing to take that risk any more. In the words of my new buddy RobFulton1: I have TMTLF (too much to live for). You no longer run my shit, and as much as "just one" nagged at me tonight, I beat you. If only for tonight, I won. Since June 1st, I'm 3-0. While the record is perfect, the experience has been far from it, but I'm winning, and more importantly, you're losing. You're losing the invisible grip that held me for far too long, kept me from my kids, and kept me from my wife. Not any more nic bitch. Today I won. Good luck tomorrow, but I will warn you: you're gonna need a helluva lot more than that.
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The NB definitely paid me a visit tonight. The Mrs. went to bed early, and I flipped on a baseball game like I always do when she goes to bed early. Lo and behold, I found myself with an itch that I couldn't quite scratch, telling me just one won't hurt ya, you can't get cancer from just one.
NB there's no such thing as just one for me any more. There used to be before you took control of my impulses. Today is day 3 in taking that back. One might not kill me, but I'm not willing to take that risk any more. In the words of my new buddy RobFulton1: I have TMTLF (too much to live for). You no longer run my shit, and as much as "just one" nagged at me tonight, I beat you. If only for tonight, I won. Since June 1st, I'm 3-0. While the record is perfect, the experience has been far from it, but I'm winning, and more importantly, you're losing. You're losing the invisible grip that held me for far too long, kept me from my kids, and kept me from my wife. Not any more nic bitch. Today I won. Good luck tomorrow, but I will warn you: you're gonna need a helluva lot more than that.
'clap'
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The NB definitely paid me a visit tonight. The Mrs. went to bed early, and I flipped on a baseball game like I always do when she goes to bed early. Lo and behold, I found myself with an itch that I couldn't quite scratch, telling me just one won't hurt ya, you can't get cancer from just one.
NB there's no such thing as just one for me any more. There used to be before you took control of my impulses. Today is day 3 in taking that back. One might not kill me, but I'm not willing to take that risk any more. In the words of my new buddy RobFulton1: I have TMTLF (too much to live for). You no longer run my shit, and as much as "just one" nagged at me tonight, I beat you. If only for tonight, I won. Since June 1st, I'm 3-0. While the record is perfect, the experience has been far from it, but I'm winning, and more importantly, you're losing. You're losing the invisible grip that held me for far too long, kept me from my kids, and kept me from my wife. Not any more nic bitch. Today I won. Good luck tomorrow, but I will warn you: you're gonna need a helluva lot more than that.
'clap'
Solid. You are taking back your freedom by QLFEDD. Great win brother.
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Tough sled right now. I'm all fired about this bball tourney tonight and it's the first time in my quit that I've felt the "celebration crave" and not the nic crave. I'm anxious and excited and I always used to dip before for these to calm the nerves and spike the BP so I'd be all amped up.
I know that sounds like I'm glorifying it a little, and in my addict mind I guess I am, but I know that this part of the battle. I made my promise to myself and to the Sultans today that I wouldn't cave, and I won't. The next hour or so is going to be the hardest yet. I'm quit and I've got KTC to thank. Not today because I have TMTLF.
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Tough sled right now. I'm all fired about this bball tourney tonight and it's the first time in my quit that I've felt the "celebration crave" and not the nic crave. I'm anxious and excited and I always used to dip before for these to calm the nerves and spike the BP so I'd be all amped up.
I know that sounds like I'm glorifying it a little, and in my addict mind I guess I am, but I know that this part of the battle. I made my promise to myself and to the Sultans today that I wouldn't cave, and I won't. The next hour or so is going to be the hardest yet. I'm quit and I've got KTC to thank. Not today because I have TMTLF.
Nothing to it. Prepare yourself for such moments. I went to the 2013 Iron Bowl with a bammer dipping friend. I knew the situation after the thuga game. Seeds, gum, bourbon, Chris Davis I was ready for the next crave. Bring it on bitch
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Well I made it today. It was a struggle tonight as I got my first big tester. I've had many "day 4s" in the past and when the going got tough, I would tell myself, oh well, I'll REALLY quit next week. Or I'll just get this one can to get me through the next couple days at work. Or, I need one this weeked, the Mrs. is out of town.
I've had every excuse come up and I would say 88% of the time I listened. Today, I did not. Part of me (okay in all honesty, a bigger part of me than I would like to admit) wanted to go pinch a big nasty smelly carcinogenic clump of worm dirt and stuff it. The bigger part of me finally got the better of that other part. It would have been much easier to give up than stick with it. Tomorrow though I would have had to answer to LOOT, the Sultans and all you other crummy bastards that stalk our group. I didn't cave, so stalk this 'Finger' .
I beat you again today NB. What else you got?
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Keep focusing on one day at a time I Quit, and you'll do just fine. Reach out to some folks here, and feel free to shoot me a PM if you need another number.
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Day 5. Made it through my first drive in traffic, my first deposition, and my second drive in traffic since I'm quit. Didn't even really think about it. In fact, despite my favorite deceptive thought for using dip (it calmed me down), I was so calm today on the road. I had the windows down, throwback jams pumping through the speakers, and out for an easy ride. Usually I'd be swerving in and out of traffic, trying to buy an extra 10 seconds out of the day while almost wrecking about six different times. Today I lived the dream. Nic free and lovin' it.
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Day 5. Made it through my first drive in traffic, my first deposition, and my second drive in traffic since I'm quit. Didn't even really think about it. In fact, despite my favorite deceptive thought for using dip (it calmed me down), I was so calm today on the road. I had the windows down, throwback jams pumping through the speakers, and out for an easy ride. Usually I'd be swerving in and out of traffic, trying to buy an extra 10 seconds out of the day while almost wrecking about six different times. Today I lived the dream. Nic free and lovin' it.
Take a good look at someone using (chewing, smoking, whatever) around you. Watch them carefully. That was you and me my friend. Shaky, nervous, thinking we needed to get somewhere for whatever. Keep it up,,, you have no idea where this is headed. Quit with you today.
P.s I really need to get me a pink tie.
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Day 5. Made it through my first drive in traffic, my first deposition, and my second drive in traffic since I'm quit. Didn't even really think about it. In fact, despite my favorite deceptive thought for using dip (it calmed me down), I was so calm today on the road. I had the windows down, throwback jams pumping through the speakers, and out for an easy ride. Usually I'd be swerving in and out of traffic, trying to buy an extra 10 seconds out of the day while almost wrecking about six different times. Today I lived the dream. Nic free and lovin' it.
Throw on the first big fight with the Mrs. since the quit. Still quit. I'd be a can and a half in a week ago without batting an eye. 'Finger' NB 'Finger'
Still quit and quitting like a BAMF.
Tomorrow WILL be a better day and I'll be quit X 6. BOOM baby.
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The force is strong with this one...
Hey bro...you got this...I can tell by your intro...
But the Bitch is going to haunt you forever. Right now, you are operating on pure adrenaline and your pure joy of the first 5 days of your quit.
The first week is easy..........yeah the fog sucks ass big time......but the first 5 days your guard is up
Just wait until Day 34 when you are over confident and you find a can stashed somewhere in a weak moment....or you are at a wedding and everyone is having cigars and you have had a few.
The 2 most common caves? the spite cave and the anxiety cave....beware of both.....because they are the nastiest
I am at day 795 and that Bitch will still come try to tease me...PM me if you need another life line....
QLF
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The force is strong with this one...
Hey bro...you got this...I can tell by your intro...
But the Bitch is going to haunt you forever. Right now, you are operating on pure adrenaline and your pure joy of the first 5 days of your quit.
The first week is easy..........yeah the fog sucks ass big time......but the first 5 days your guard is up
Just wait until Day 34 when you are over confident and you find a can stashed somewhere in a weak moment....or you are at a wedding and everyone is having cigars and you have had a few.
The 2 most common caves? the spite cave and the anxiety cave....beware of both.....because they are the nastiest
I am at day 795 and that Bitch will still come try to tease me...PM me if you need another life line....
QLF
You are killing it brother!
Do you have a plan for your first weekend of quit? Do the bad asses in your quit group have a plan? Make sure you have #s and that you use them before you ever think of caving. PM me if you need another #.
Just keep quit ODAAT and +1ing. It gets so much better...
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I was just given my first real opportunity to cave. I was offered a pinch of the NB while out with some buddies who all chew. My exact words were "Psssssshhh." Alright so I'm no linguist, but I stuck it to her again tonight. Jz - 6, NB - 0. cowboy NB
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Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I
Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.
I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.
I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.
J2thaZ
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Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I
Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.
I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.
I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.
J2thaZ
Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch (https://www.hoochsnuff.com/Products.aspx)
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.
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Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I
Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.
I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.
I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.
J2thaZ
Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch (https://www.hoochsnuff.com/Products.aspx)
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.
Thanks Lip. Some of the Sultans and I were texting earlier and we're weighing the pros and cons of fake. I think for the first little while it might be beneficial to get thru that ridiculous daydream.
Anything to keep the turd outta my mouth. I'm good. Almost thru day 7 and I'm already fired up to post my 8 tomorrow.
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Confession of a Nic Addict Vol. I
Today is day 7, and so far so good in the grand scheme of things. The craves aren't as intense, and they've become less frequent. Winning, right? The problem is I haven't learned to hate it yet. I hate it periodically, sure. In fact, most of the time I hate the weed. However, every once in awhile I find myself daydreaming about the burn. I sensationalize the rush/buzz I would get and the feeling of the spitter in my hand on a long drive. The satisfying thump of a well-packed can. I don't hate it with every atom of my being yet like each and every vet still preaching here.
I should have prefaced this post with the idea that the reader should not fear that this BAMF is shaky in his quit. I am not. My quit is strong. I have TMTLF to cave at this point. It is simply worth noting that this seductress is clever. She blocks out the awful things: cancer, gum disease, losing teeth, bad breath, financial drain, smelly fingers (not in the good way), bailing on one's family, lying, sneaking, selling out, hiding.... None of those things are the ones I remember when the temptress is whispering in my ear.
I'm strong, but this takes work. This isn't easy. It's damn near the simplest thing I've ever done, but damn near the hardest as well. Thank you KTC. Without my brothers/sisters in quit, I would have caved each and every day this week, and been right back where I started. Today, I am 7 days in, nic free, $40 to the better, and on a one-way hi-speed train to Quitsville. Not today and not ever, even if it's a battle each and every day.
J2thaZ
Yo bro- I know you are going hard core quit ninja around the house, but next time you are on a long drive or out with the boys, you got to bring some fakey out wth you. Hooch (https://www.hoochsnuff.com/Products.aspx)
I think spitfire fine cut is kind of like cope. I am a big fan.
Wintergreen rough cut is balls on for Kodiak, which was my death can of choice.
I always kind of liked having something to do, oral fixation, etc.
Anything you might be missing about chew, you can get from the hooch. It just isn't full of addictive poison, and won't kill you.
Thanks Lip. Some of the Sultans and I were texting earlier and we're weighing the pros and cons of fake. I think for the first little while it might be beneficial to get thru that ridiculous daydream.
Anything to keep the turd outta my mouth. I'm good. Almost thru day 7 and I'm already fired up to post my 8 tomorrow.
Thats awesome. As far as the pro cons. Don't see much of a con to anything as long as it strengthens your quit. I love me some fake.
Didn't use it for the first 5 days, which I think was good to make sure I really felt the hammer of the nic bitch. But since then, I have been hooching a lot, and I love it.
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First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!
I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.
J2thaZ
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First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!
I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.
J2thaZ
Now you know what it would feel like to cave. Channel that into your quit.
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First dip dream Saturday night. Not really sure the circumstances, but I was dipping like a fiend in the dream, and when I woke up, I honestly thought I'd snapped. The first 10 seconds I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to all you 'arse' 's on this site....then I subconsciously ran my tongue along my lower lip....wait a minute, my lip isn't all chewed up....I didn't cave, it was a dream...I DIDN'T CAVE!!
I was so happy to come to that realization and be able to post by "8" when I woke up on Sunday. Part of me realizes though that I believed it at first. I wasn't punching myself in the face because I thought I'd caved. I was trying to mitigate the damages. Just goes to show that even though I'm QLF today, my mind hasn't totally forgiven me for the damage done for the last 10 years. I'm quit today and today I'm taking back more of that power that I willingly forked over for so long.
J2thaZ
Now you know what it would feel like to cave. Channel that into your quit.
Cave dreams are good, IMO. Like DaGranger was saying, channel that emotion... reflect on how shitty it would feel if you actually had caved. What would you do? If the imagined consequences of caving aren't painful enough then you need to find another layer of accountability by sharing your quit story to someone in your life. Burn the bridge back to addiction.
On a slightly similar note, I used to imagine telling my wife and kids that I had been diagnosed with throat cancer. Can you imagine the regret(s)? It would be unbearable.
+1
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^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.
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^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.
I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.
How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.
Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.
You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.
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^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.
I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.
How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.
Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.
You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.
J2Z,
It's funny Truetomyself is my boy in August group and lo and behold him and I are reading through your intro at the same time. Anyway - looks like you are doing great. I'm 23 days and dipped for 22 years. Take advantage of this opportunity not to waste 12 more years and thousands of dollars. I also have young kids - a 4yr old girl and a 14 month little boy. When my wife used to take my daughter somewhere I had no problem filling my face with shit while my 6 month old son would look right in my eyes. How fucked up is that?
I had my first dip dream last night - I also felt the panic of what was I going to do on KTC when I woke up, but also I felt so stupid that I let it happen till I realized it was a dream.
Proud to quit with you today.
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^^^^^ truth hammer. wow.
I'm with Minny there. I used to imagine telling my wife and parents about that I had cancer. My mom got cancer three times and beat it three times (not from tobacco). Can you imagine if I had to tell her that I gave myself cancer? I can. I thought about it a lot.
How about going to the daughter's wedding without a lower jaw? Daydreamed about that, too.
Since quitting 22 days ago, I've had one cave nightmare. It was way too real. Physical feeling of deep regret, panic, shame, failure and fear. I'll do whatever I must so that I'll never face that terror again.
You're very active here, J2Z - keep up tha werk.
J2Z,
It's funny Truetomyself is my boy in August group and lo and behold him and I are reading through your intro at the same time. Anyway - looks like you are doing great. I'm 23 days and dipped for 22 years. Take advantage of this opportunity not to waste 12 more years and thousands of dollars. I also have young kids - a 4yr old girl and a 14 month little boy. When my wife used to take my daughter somewhere I had no problem filling my face with shit while my 6 month old son would look right in my eyes. How fucked up is that?
I had my first dip dream last night - I also felt the panic of what was I going to do on KTC when I woke up, but also I felt so stupid that I let it happen till I realized it was a dream.
Proud to quit with you today.
Thanks gents. Nice to hear some sounding board responses to these kind of troubles. My hope is I never catch your guys' number (unless I can perfect the time travel I'm working on), but I'd be happy to post a +1 with you EDD.
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Almost to double digits (about an hour), and I can't believe how different I feel. My life has already changed in ways I hadn't even pondered when I pulled the trigger on my quit 9 days ago.
Observation #1: The first thing I did when I got home and pulled into the driveway tonight was to jump out of my truck, give my kid a big hug, then proceed to help him fix the seat on his bike. After that I went inside, hugged and kissed my wife, fed my baby girl some nasty green mush, bbq'd dinner, cleaned up dinner, gave the kids a bath, got them both some milk and put them both to bed. WITHOUT so much as a thought to the dip. I'm a better dad and husband then I ever could have been dipping even if I'd tried. In that same time period two weeks ago, I would have missed at least three if not more of those activities, and wouldn't even have realized what I was missing.
Observation #2: There is not one good reason I can think of to ever use dip again. I understand that caves aren't usually (read never) logically thought out, but in 9 short days, I am starting to understand that the NB played some crazy voodoo mind games that made it seem like a good idea as often as I could do so without getting caught.
Observation #3: At least twice a day, I drive by the C-store where I used to buy my chew. On occasion, a long run will also take me by it. Since coming out of the fog in day 4ish, I honestly haven't even noticed it until this afternoon when I drove by. Only reason I noticed today? Some numbnut had some headphones draped over his ears, his eyes closed, walking down the street trying to dance like the Biebs, tripped and fell into the bush right outside the C-store. It was awesome, then I noticed the C-store, and that was even more awesome.
Observation #4: Accountability on this site is no joke. Not much gets by the wiliest of vets on this site (including, but not limited to, Evil, gmann, LOOT, j2b, Grizz, JW, etc.). If you aren't on your shit, they'll douse you in it until you figure it out. No smoke-blowing going on here. This shit it tough. Simple as hell, but tough. Oh yah, and don't you even for a second think of letting your quit bros/sis's down.
Observation #5: KTC has a winning formula. This shit works. I've been texting with some quit bros everyday since day 2, and I'm still quit.
Finally, FY NB. Today I am quit, and as hard as you tried to pull me back today, I had farts that lasted longer than any thoughts of going back. Today I QLF with the Sultans and all the bad-ass quitters on this site that give their word to stay quit for 24 hours. Today I put myself, my wife, my kids, and my family and friends (even the dippers), ahead of that stanky, poisonous, good-for-nothing, filthy, cancer-causing, dirty turd. EDD.
J2thaZ
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Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.
Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.
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Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.
Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.
J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.
First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.
The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.
Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.
Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.
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Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.
Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.
J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.
First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.
The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.
Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.
Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.
Thanks W2W. Appreciate all the advice whether noob or Chewie. I didn't mean to sound like a downer. Just wanted to make sure my reflections in here aren't just when I'm hyped to be rearending the NB. I won today. I'll wait til tomorrow to win tomorrow.
Proud to be quit with you W2W.
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Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.
Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.
J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.
First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.
The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.
Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.
Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.
Thanks W2W. Appreciate all the advice whether noob or Chewie. I didn't mean to sound like a downer. Just wanted to make sure my reflections in here aren't just when I'm hyped to be rearending the NB. I won today. I'll wait til tomorrow to win tomorrow.
Proud to be quit with you W2W.
Keep posting in your intro, be it highs or lows. Your brain is rewiring itself and the whole experience is likely different than anything you've ever experienced. And as always, post roll every damn day. Keep going and trust the mantra.
ODAAT
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Kind of a state of complacency right now (even though only 10 days into it). Not close to caving, but tonight has been one of those nights where I'm having trouble taking it ODAAT. I keep thinking ahead, and then it seems the daunting task is back. It's funny because a couple other guys on 10 in the Sultans today have also had a tough day. Not sure what it is, but I'm damn glad I have the site to log into when I need it the most.
Almost time to suck down some Sleepytime, and head to bed (probably with another dip dream on the menu - hate those damned things). Wake up tomorrow to snake eyes, and do it all over. Wouldn't have it any other way. FY NB, I quit successfully again today. J2thaZ - 10, NB - 0.
J2Z, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not a vet here but I've noticed something about your quit. You seem to have very high highs. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my impression.
First of all, I'm a huge fan of over-enthusiasm. You just can't teach that in life. I congratulate you on that and I mean it.
The problem is that you could end up being over over excited when things go well and over disappointed when things aren't great. We're all on a rollercoaster right now. Personally, my emotions have been all over the map since quitting but I try to stay as realistic and balanced as possible with an eye on the big picture AND especially one day at a time.
Your enthusiasm gets me pumped up - I really liked your observations 1-5. Keep that up but try to avoid getting too high or too low this early in your quit. Personally, I think it's a little bit risky.
Again - I'm a newbie here with 22 days quit but that's my two cents. You've been very active on KTC and that's awesome - it's the most important thing. Don't let up.
Thanks W2W. Appreciate all the advice whether noob or Chewie. I didn't mean to sound like a downer. Just wanted to make sure my reflections in here aren't just when I'm hyped to be rearending the NB. I won today. I'll wait til tomorrow to win tomorrow.
Proud to be quit with you W2W.
Keep posting in your intro, be it highs or lows. Your brain is rewiring itself and the whole experience is likely different than anything you've ever experienced. And as always, post roll every damn day. Keep going and trust the mantra.
ODAAT
Post every thing from when you get butt hurt on a post, and especially the good days. Don't use nic, and we all win.
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In a funk the last couple days. Not really any craves, but everything seems a little more gray, a little more boring, nothing really going on, just kind of limping through the week. I think the initial war cry against the bitch wore off after about day 8, and now settling in for the long haul. Still can't shake the idea of: "Not ever, not even one?" Like I said it's not about craving it, it's more like wrapping my head around the concept that I've completely eradicated that part of my life.
Let me reiterate. I am not even close to caving right now. I'm solid and I am holding tight to all the reasons why this decision is one of the best of my life, just going through a little bit of a slow time in the quit. Family coming into town this weekend, couple events to attend so that should help things pick up a little.
Day 12 is an accomplishment, and today I'm winning. JZ - 12, NB - 0.
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Stop trying to imagine forever. It's impossible and unproductive. I'm literally telling you to stop thinking beyond today. Just get through today in any way you choose (it is a choice, btw), be it gray, boring, happy, crabby, whatever. ODAAT. ODAAT. ODAAT. Trust me. There's only one way to win this fight and it's ODAAT. I'm 336 days in and I still can't get my head around NAFAR.
The war cry has worn off, huh? Well, that makes one of us. You said yourself that you hate the fact that you spent so much time away from your two kids all for the sake of dip. It pisses me off that I did the same things, too. I hate that someone else won and I lost: the winner was The American Snuff Company in Memphis Tennessee and the loser was me. Their strategy worked: I was willing to fork over thousands of dollars for their product and made it my top priority.
Think I'm being extreme? Consider this: today is June 12th, 2014 and you only have one crack at it. The number of Saturday afternoons you have left with your three year old are fewer than 52, because soon he'll be four. You already missed out many things that make you a very wealthy man and you can't have them back. You were stupid enough to let it happen for what is statistically likely to be 20% of your adult life.
You'll be at an elevated risk of about a dozen types of cancer until you are 46 years old. Throat, tongue, esophageal, lymph-node, mouth... You were willing to risk it all... why? Cancer can't happen to you? You're special?
On the other side of the coin is positivity, of course. Keep taking stock of moments you would otherwise have missed. Time is fleeting, dude, and you are winning.
Stay vigilant, stay active, stay pissed.
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Stop trying to imagine forever. It's impossible and unproductive. I'm literally telling you to stop thinking beyond today. Just get through today in any way you choose (it is a choice, btw), be it gray, boring, happy, crabby, whatever. ODAAT. ODAAT. ODAAT. Trust me. There's only one way to win this fight and it's ODAAT. I'm 336 days in and I still can't get my head around NAFAR.
The war cry has worn off, huh? Well, that makes one of us. You said yourself that you hate the fact that you spent so much time away from your two kids all for the sake of dip. It pisses me off that I did the same things, too. I hate that someone else won and I lost: the winner was The American Snuff Company in Memphis Tennessee and the loser was me. Their strategy worked: I was willing to fork over thousands of dollars for their product and made it my top priority.
Think I'm being extreme? Consider this: today is June 12th, 2014 and you only have one crack at it. The number of Saturday afternoons you have left with your three year old are fewer than 52, because soon he'll be four. You already missed out many things that make you a very wealthy man and you can't have them back. You were stupid enough to let it happen for what is statistically likely to be 20% of your adult life.
You'll be at an elevated risk of about a dozen types of cancer until you are 46 years old. Throat, tongue, esophageal, lymph-node, mouth... You were willing to risk it all... why? Cancer can't happen to you? You're special?
On the other side of the coin is positivity, of course. Keep taking stock of moments you would otherwise have missed. Time is fleeting, dude, and you are winning.
Stay vigilant, stay active, stay pissed.
Thanks Minny. I really appreciate the post.
I am thoroughly enjoying all of the extra time I've been spending with my kids, not worrying about the next fix, etc., and while it was my choice, nic was what took that away from me. I hate nic for that. I CHOOSE not to today. As you said, I am no longer willing to risk everything for the weed.
Thanks for the boost, this one is for you, Minny: 'Finger' NB 'Finger'
-
Stop trying to imagine forever. It's impossible and unproductive. I'm literally telling you to stop thinking beyond today. Just get through today in any way you choose (it is a choice, btw), be it gray, boring, happy, crabby, whatever. ODAAT. ODAAT. ODAAT. Trust me. There's only one way to win this fight and it's ODAAT. I'm 336 days in and I still can't get my head around NAFAR.
The war cry has worn off, huh? Well, that makes one of us. You said yourself that you hate the fact that you spent so much time away from your two kids all for the sake of dip. It pisses me off that I did the same things, too. I hate that someone else won and I lost: the winner was The American Snuff Company in Memphis Tennessee and the loser was me. Their strategy worked: I was willing to fork over thousands of dollars for their product and made it my top priority.
Think I'm being extreme? Consider this: today is June 12th, 2014 and you only have one crack at it. The number of Saturday afternoons you have left with your three year old are fewer than 52, because soon he'll be four. You already missed out many things that make you a very wealthy man and you can't have them back. You were stupid enough to let it happen for what is statistically likely to be 20% of your adult life.
You'll be at an elevated risk of about a dozen types of cancer until you are 46 years old. Throat, tongue, esophageal, lymph-node, mouth... You were willing to risk it all... why? Cancer can't happen to you? You're special?
On the other side of the coin is positivity, of course. Keep taking stock of moments you would otherwise have missed. Time is fleeting, dude, and you are winning.
Stay vigilant, stay active, stay pissed.
Thanks Minny. I really appreciate the post.
I am thoroughly enjoying all of the extra time I've been spending with my kids, not worrying about the next fix, etc., and while it was my choice, nic was what took that away from me. I hate nic for that. I CHOOSE not to today. As you said, I am no longer willing to risk everything for the weed.
Thanks for the boost, this one is for you, Minny: 'Finger' NB 'Finger'
This applied to me, too, and the truth hurts.
Great hit, Minny. I needed this today.
"You said yourself that you hate the fact that you spent so much time away from your two kids all for the sake of dip. It pisses me off that I did the same things, too. I hate that someone else won and I lost: the winner was The American Snuff Company in Memphis Tennessee and the loser was me. Their strategy worked: I was willing to fork over thousands of dollars for their product and made it my top priority.
Think I'm being extreme? Consider this: today is June 12th, 2014 and you only have one crack at it. The number of Saturday afternoons you have left with your three year old are fewer than 52, because soon he'll be four. You already missed out many things that make you a very wealthy man and you can't have them back. You were stupid enough to let it happen for what is statistically likely to be 20% of your adult life."
-
Well....pretty major status update since the last version. Last night, the Mrs. and I were talking and I spilled my guts. I wasn't ready, but the conversation arose from a different angle, and I let it rip. I have to say I have mixed emotions about it. She was "disappointed" for sure (duh), but more than anything she just didn't get why I would even start doing something so dumb. She had absolutely zero idea. Never "caught" me and never even had a suspicion.
I explained that at the start it was a dip every two or three months, then once a week, then everyday, then a can a day, etc. I let her know that it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't just because the opportunities were greater, but rather the addiction was getting worse.
To her credit, she understood a lot more about the addictive aspects of this even though she's never dealt with any sort of addiction. In fact, she preached ODAAT to me before I could even let her know that it was a cornerstone of this site.
All that being said, I didn't get the sense of relief that most everybody on the site felt when they confessed. This is MY problem not hers. I think she'll be able to help me in my accountability, but she didn't ask for this. She did nothing to fuel it. She did nothing to push me into it. She has no part in my attempt to single-handedly destroy myself.
Granted, she will be there every step of the way, and her ultimate conclusion from the conversation was that she was proud of me for taking charge of this thing on my own and not due to a "Dr. scare" or being "caught" or something like that. I know from talking to her though that she feels like this is something I should have had a grip on a long time ago.
In the end, I'm glad I told her because I'm glad I don't have to hide anything about my recovery.
I'm quit with the Sultans EDD. Today is day 14 and almost 15. Half a month without destroying myself = win. JZ - 14, NB - 0.
-
JZ,
Awesome post dude....the ending 14-0 is the best, and will only get better. Honored to be a Sultan with you EDD, man.
-
Well....pretty major status update since the last version. Last night, the Mrs. and I were talking and I spilled my guts. I wasn't ready, but the conversation arose from a different angle, and I let it rip. I have to say I have mixed emotions about it. She was "disappointed" for sure (duh), but more than anything she just didn't get why I would even start doing something so dumb. She had absolutely zero idea. Never "caught" me and never even had a suspicion.
I explained that at the start it was a dip every two or three months, then once a week, then everyday, then a can a day, etc. I let her know that it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't just because the opportunities were greater, but rather the addiction was getting worse.
To her credit, she understood a lot more about the addictive aspects of this even though she's never dealt with any sort of addiction. In fact, she preached ODAAT to me before I could even let her know that it was a cornerstone of this site.
All that being said, I didn't get the sense of relief that most everybody on the site felt when they confessed. This is MY problem not hers. I think she'll be able to help me in my accountability, but she didn't ask for this. She did nothing to fuel it. She did nothing to push me into it. She has no part in my attempt to single-handedly destroy myself.
Granted, she will be there every step of the way, and her ultimate conclusion from the conversation was that she was proud of me for taking charge of this thing on my own and not due to a "Dr. scare" or being "caught" or something like that. I know from talking to her though that she feels like this is something I should have had a grip on a long time ago.
In the end, I'm glad I told her because I'm glad I don't have to hide anything about my recovery.
I'm quit with the Sultans EDD. Today is day 14 and almost 15. Half a month without destroying myself = win. JZ - 14, NB - 0.
Hey bro- I am glad you told your lady. Honesty is the best policy. I have a couple thoughts about some of your post.
1. I told my wife, but not because I wanted her support or that extra layer of accountability. To me, those reasons are what this site is for. Support and accountability. I only told her because I wanted her to know why I was short tempered, sleeping badly, and pissed off, and that if she pushed the wrong buttons, look the fuck out. For that reason, I think its important to let our ladies know.
2. Stop worrying about her being disappointed that you had become addicted or didn't get control of it sooner. She doesn't understand the nic bitch, and it is not her job to understand it. That's our job. You told her, thats that. Hopefully your quit gets to the point where you don't have to talk about it again.
I don't like my wife talking about my quit, and we haven't discussed it since week 2.
Edit- do I have a shitty marriage since I don't like to talk to my wife about shit like that? who knows??
-
Man I was just reading ur posts and it is like reading my own story lol. I had the day 10 blues too. I was thinking fuck yeah im quit, but for my whole life?? I enjoyed dipping. Why can't I have it again? But then you just have to realize it is those deprived brain pathways trying to rationalize why it needs the nic! We got this! I quit with you today.
-
Man I was just reading ur posts and it is like reading my own story lol. I had the day 10 blues too. I was thinking fuck yeah im quit, but for my whole life?? I enjoyed dipping. Why can't I have it again? But then you just have to realize it is those deprived brain pathways trying to rationalize why it needs the nic! We got this! I quit with you today.
Thanks Chief. Feels awesome to have gotten thru that funk. I've definitely gotten some energy back and I've taken a renewed sense of whoop-ass to the NB today. QLF with you today bro.
J2thaZ
-
Dusting this off real quick to say the wife is talking to me again. We're headed to some counseling to try to work on some stuff. Nothing earth-shattering or divorce-inducing, but after she found I was going behind her back for so long doing something so stupid (of which she had no idea), we have some trust issues to work on.
My point is this: nothing, I mean NOTHING, fucking NOTHING is worth one more dip. Not today, not ever. I did my best to trounce my relationship with the best woman on earth and I refuse to do that for one more day. For you new guys taking a look at this, remember this: you will NEVER regret quitting, you will ALWAYS regret caving. Also, your worst day quitting is better than your best day using. Stay strong, you'll get through the suck, and the other side will be so much better. Quit with each of you today.
P.S. you guys/gals can rib me all you want about counseling, I'm fucking free of the NB today. I win. JZ - 20, NB - 0.
-
Dusting this off real quick to say the wife is talking to me again. We're headed to some counseling to try to work on some stuff. Nothing earth-shattering or divorce-inducing, but after she found I was going behind her back for so long doing something so stupid (of which she had no idea), we have some trust issues to work on.
My point is this: nothing, I mean NOTHING, fucking NOTHING is worth one more dip. Not today, not ever. I did my best to trounce my relationship with the best woman on earth and I refuse to do that for one more day. For you new guys taking a look at this, remember this: you will NEVER regret quitting, you will ALWAYS regret caving. Also, your worst day quitting is better than your best day using. Stay strong, you'll get through the suck, and the other side will be so much better. Quit with each of you today.
P.S. you guys/gals can rib me all you want about counseling, I'm fucking free of the NB today. I win. JZ - 20, NB - 0.
Filling your wife in on the truth is bad ass. Beating this addiction (managing it) takes more levels of accountability than must comprehend. You get it.
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BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
What's this?
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a five year old, please? I don't see the smoking gun.
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Also...the VERY DAY "Jay2thewhoeverthehellyouwanttobe" joined is June 2, 2014....ANYBODY CARE TO GUESS THE LAST TIME JZZYZAG01 was active here on KTC????
(Spoiler: June 2, 2014)
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BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a five year old, please? I don't see the smoking gun.
Minny...his email...it's his user name from December 13 group. This guy is a fraud. Sorry. I attached the spreadsheet in one of the replies. Out of decency, I didn't post his email address, but it's basically just his old username @ blah blah dot com.
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BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a five year old, please? I don't see the smoking gun.
Minny...his email...it's his user name from December 13 group. This guy is a fraud. Sorry. I attached the spreadsheet in one of the replies. Out of decency, I didn't post his email address, but it's basically just his old username @ blah blah dot com.
If J2thaZ and jzzyzag01 are the same person, why the odd affinity for screen names that sound like you're a lead singer for a boy band? I recommend something more manly for the third try. Start with your favorite truck name and go from there - Ram, Sierra, Ranger, Tundra. Much more effective.
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a five year old, please? I don't see the smoking gun.
Minny...his email...it's his user name from December 13 group. This guy is a fraud. Sorry. I attached the spreadsheet in one of the replies. Out of decency, I didn't post his email address, but it's basically just his old username @ blah blah dot com.
His email is marked "private" ... A recent change?
-
BUMP for JAY2thaZ/jzzyzag01
ALSO...see the December 13 spreadsheet where jzzyzag01 is MIA and has been since January 2014...
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc ... web#gid=52 (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApfQ5UHg2gNydDgxdm1haUp4VkpSVjl4Ukk4dDY2VWc&usp=drive_web#gid=52)
Slippery little sucker......
JayDubya,
Are you saying that jzzyzag10 is now jay2thaz? If so, isn't that an offense worthy of a ban?
Why jzzyzag01/iquit/j2thaz, or whatever your name is? Please explain to the Ktc community.
profile/207859/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/profile/207859/)
Bump...all of you know I care about my quit brothers and the integrity of roll and posting roll. I feel sick in my gut that this even happened. Unfortunately, the information is there.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a five year old, please? I don't see the smoking gun.
Minny...his email...it's his user name from December 13 group. This guy is a fraud. Sorry. I attached the spreadsheet in one of the replies. Out of decency, I didn't post his email address, but it's basically just his old username @ blah blah dot com.
His email is marked "private" ... A recent change?
Dude... explain.
Now.
-
I've spent the better part of 2 hours looking into the two accounts in question (I get really bored on Monday's now that I'm not in summer classes), and I'll just say this straight up,
there is 0.001% chance that these two accounts are not the same person. If we were in a courtroom Jeremy, the jury would find you guilty faster than you could take a piss break.
I don't know what compelled you to create a new account, but if you wish to stay here you should come clean. KTC is a place to be open, and we rely on the integrity of each other's word or the foundation crumbles. There are rules in place that say you get banned for multiple accounts, but if you come clean and answer the 3 Q's, you will have my 100% support in that not happening. These two accounts have countless hours put into them supporting quitters, with EXCELLENT advice all around. The posts I read (every single one of them) inspired my quit. I can't believe I'm supporting this as many here can attest that I fucking hate cavers and liars, but you could contribute so much to this place.
We are all addicts, we have all done things we are ashamed of, but if you value this place then you need to be honest. This is a family. You can be a great addition to this place, but holding on to that lie is really not looking good for you.
-
If this is all true save it, stay gone!!!
-
poof
-
I guess I'm late to this issue and, if I'm reading the posts right JTZ is gone. After 296 posts in 2-1/2 weeks its clear the guy needed this site. What a shame, because I can't understand his rationale. A big part of the magic of this site is coming clean. Admitting you are an addict, admitting your addiction is too hard to face alone, also for people who cave it's admitting you were too weak to stay quit. I am sure that sucks to admit but, look at the people who dominate the chat and posting here in general, how many caved at some point and are now real bad assed quitters? 20%? 30%? Take you medicine and learn from it. I guess this is another good lesson for everyone here.
-
I guess I'm late to this issue and, if I'm reading the posts right JTZ is gone. After 296 posts in 2-1/2 weeks its clear the guy needed this site. What a shame, because I can't understand his rationale. A big part of the magic of this site is coming clean. Admitting you are an addict, admitting your addiction is too hard to face alone, also for people who cave it's admitting you were too weak to stay quit. I am sure that sucks to admit but, look at the people who dominate the chat and posting here in general, how many caved at some point and are now real bad assed quitters? 20%? 30%? Take you medicine and learn from it. I guess this is another good lesson for everyone here.
I second this. I have told dip stories my wife doesn't know on KTC boards, and I have posted things with tears in my eyes on here because the only people that get it are addicts like myself. So why take a giant shit on the rules man? Makes zero sense.