KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Bill in Kansas on August 30, 2016, 01:13:00 PM
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Hello. Im Bill in Kansas. Im 36. I began chewing 14 years ago. I quit, cold turkey, on June 10, 2016. Ive lurked here for a couple of weeks, for support, and finally felt the need today to join up and drop a line.
First, I want to write that this forum is a miracle. Thank yall so much for creating this space for gals and guys to lean on each other. Sincerely.
My ongoing story of quitting may be a little different. I quit when my family made a big move. My wife got a great new job, requiring us to move, which led to me leaving my job. Doing that eliminated my biggest trigger: my work. For 12 years I basically chewed every single day, most of the day, while working. I worked six days a week. Every now and then I could make it through a Sunday with no chew, but not very often. Anyway, leaving my job/trigger seemed like the perfect time to finally quit. (I had tried a few times over the years, only to make it two weeks, max.) So with the transition, I quit.
I feel a little guilty saying this here, but the first couple of weeks were actually not hard. Without my familiar routine, the urge to pack a lip was not very strong. In fact, it was non-existent. I was proud. Then, at about the six- or seven-week mark or so, hell crept in.
I say "crept" because I did not know what was happening at first, just that it was horrible. I began having incredibly vivid dreams. Not nightmares, really, just these strange scenes involving folks I know. Each time, the dreams would leave me a little knocked back. Then something else happened, something much worse. I began worrying, obsessively, over trivial things from years ago, from a decade ago. Over my relationships with family members. Over friendships. Over conversations that happened eight or 12 years ago. Over anything! Ninety five percent of the time the worry was irrational. I knew that, but could not stop my mind from diving. The worry turned into anxiety and consumed entire days. I mean, ENTIRE days, then entire nights. Couldn't talk with people. Couldn't do anything but worry/stress. To the point of sweating. Then I had a panic attack. It only lasted an hour or so but it involved my wife having to sit right in front of me and assure me everything was fine. Humbling experience there. Thankfully, I have had no other panic attacks again.
Somewhere in there it snuck in on me: I need a dip. Bad. That's what I need. It felt so perfect. I knew a fat lip would calm my anxiety, put my fears to bed, and put me in a better place. It was one of the strongest urges Ive ever experienced.
Thankfully, I recognized the pull and resolved to not cave. I am still dreaming strange things. I am still dealing with horrible anxiety. I have urges to chew every day. But Ive decided to deal with my crap without the crutch of chew (my favorite was always Copenhagen, whiskey blend). I began seeing a counselor. And I began lurking here. With the help of this forum, and the support of family, I will NOT go back to chewing.
I reckon mainly what I wanted to convey was 1) Thank you, to the forum, to the community built here, because it's gotten me through some tight times over the last couple of weeks; and 2) Every person is different and quitting will effect us in different, strange ways. Leaning on each other and knowing other folks are here, going through the same thing, and can relate, is a powerful thing to lean on.
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So jump in, post roll, and help someone else quit!
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So jump in, post roll, and help someone else quit!
What this badass said^^^^ get your roll posted and you will get support you need! We're all addicts just like you but quitting ODAAT Edd!
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Yup, reading and lurking is only a small fraction of the power of this community. Posting roll, and the back and forth with your brethren is where the real power is.
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Get in post roll in ur respective group and have the hell at being a part of this place. You will strengthen your quit with helping others. Stay quit and glad to have you here
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Hey Bill. Increased anxiety and panic attacks are very common side effects of quitting nicotine, unfortunately. In time they will subside.
These posters before me are absolutely right, it is time for you to post roll and make that commitment daily to abstain from all forms of nicotine. You quit June 10 which puts you in the Pre-HOF September 2016 group. Don't lurk anymore, jump in, be accountable and help others! Like Backwoods said, you may be surprised how helping others strengthens your own quit!
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Meh.
I'm not feelin' this dude.
Whaddaya say Bill? You gonna ensure your quit and get involved or are you gonna be the occasional "status updater" kinda sideline guy?
One works and the other is almost guaranteed failure... guess which one we're asking you to be...
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Welcome Bill! Hope you start posting roll with the December quit group and get rolling!
PM me if you need anything.
-Dan
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Thank yall -- sincerely. I fully intend on jumping in and adding my voice to the community. Im just still getting the feel for the site -- what does it mean to "post roll"? Tell me how....
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Bill, if you quit June 10, your group is located here: topic/11679548/623/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11679548/623/)
Go to the latest "Roll Post" (it will be a long list of names w/ instructions at top) Follow those instructions.
That is your promise not to use any nicotine product today. Keep that promise and do it again tomorrow.
The October group is a hoot, so I recommend introducing yourself on that page and getting to know some of the folks.
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Welcome Bill. what part of KS are you in?
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Welcome Bill. what part of KS are you in?
The best way to be a killer Kansas quitter is to get your name on roll. 1,349 days ago I reluctantly started posting.... Trust me, it works. Join us. Post up. GO ROYALS.
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Thanks guys. Im outside of Independence, sorta in southeast corner of Kansas.
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Bill, if you quit June 10, your group is located here: topic/11679548/623/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11679548/623/)
Go to the latest "Roll Post" (it will be a long list of names w/ instructions at top) Follow those instructions.
That is your promise not to use any nicotine product today. Keep that promise and do it again tomorrow.
The October group is a hoot, so I recommend introducing yourself on that page and getting to know some of the folks.
Glad we finally got you settled into September. Feel free to visit the entertaining dumpster fire that is October any time!
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Hey Bill
You've gotten some solid advice from the BAQ's above. Take their advice, post roll everyday and get involved. You won't regret it.
Sorry you got shuffled from one group to another. We're not use to someone coming in here with 85 days Quit under their belt. But you've finally found your home and are on the roll! Here's the link in case you loose you're way! ;)
Pre-HOF September 2016 Quit Group (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11649440/491/#new)
You and I have already been back and forth with PM's but I just wanted to officially drop you a note on your intro and say welcome KTC and the September Quit group.
If there's ever anything I can do to help in any way, you have my number!
Proud to be Quit with you today Bill!
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Welcome, Bill. You're pretty darn close to Oklahoma, so you've got that goin for ya. lol. I quit with you, brother.
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Welcome, Bill. I'm glad you're quit and glad you're here.
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My hat is definitely off to anyone with the personal strength of will to do this solo for more than 2 and a half months. Good on ya for recognizing the support and web of accountability this place brings. Stay here, stay quit, and make some friends in the process.....Welcome!
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My hat is definitely off to anyone with the personal strength of will to do this solo for more than 2 and a half months. Good on ya for recognizing the support and web of accountability this place brings. Stay here, stay quit, and make some friends in the process.....Welcome!
Thank you my friend. Im proud to be here
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Welcome to September STD's Bill! Quit with you today.
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Congratulations Bill on reaching HOF!! Exciting to see milestones...but let's keep doing it EDD.
I'll be right beside you... Enjoy your quit today!
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Congratulations Bill on reaching HOF!! Exciting to see milestones...but let's keep doing it EDD.
I'll be right beside you... Enjoy your quit today!
Ditto! What this BAQ said! Congrats on 100 days of freedom Bill. We're all proud to be Quit with you. Onward and upward friend!