KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: FMBM707 on July 07, 2014, 02:34:00 PM
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I'm 38, married to a saint of a woman, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one, days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever dip in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself dipping at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
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Good for you. Go get your tongue checked out.
You're making a good choice my friend. You will learn a lot along the way, and hopefully you will come out with a success story. Take it seriously though, we take it very seriously.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
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I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
What slinger said, give your word and post today. In my 718 days quit I've seen more than one guy post that he had mouth issues, needed to quit. They stop, get a clean bill of health from the Doc or Dentist then right back to the can. Don't let that be you, freedom is much tougher than slavery but freedom is oh so much better, the grass really is greener. That's no to say it's perfect, there will still be days that suck, that are bad and good - they are all better without nic once you break free. Welcome to KTC - go post roll.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
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YEA BUDDY! You got this. Water, Water and more Water.
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YEA BUDDY! You got this. Water, Water and more Water.
Thank you for reminder on the water! I've read so much stuff today on this great site but forgot about the drinking water.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
Appreciate that but I should have been clearer. My last chew was yesterday around 12:30. I didn't chew again yesterday because I was in the car with my wife and kids for 8 hours and I was already in the doghouse and didn't want to pile it on by sticking a fat chew in my lip. So instead I shoved handfuls of sunflower seeds in my mouth and gritted it out. So I'm not going to count yesterday because I didn't really make a conscious decision to quit.
Today I quit because I made the decision for me, by me and not because anyone else wanted me to do it. I woke up and said FUCK THIS. It's OVER. I'M QUITTING. I'm not sticking anymore of that shit in my mouth. I want to live. I want control back.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
Appreciate that but I should have been clearer. My last chew was yesterday around 12:30. I didn't chew again yesterday because I was in the car with my wife and kids for 8 hours and I was already in the doghouse and didn't want to pile it on by sticking a fat chew in my lip. So instead I shoved handfuls of sunflower seeds in my mouth and gritted it out. So I'm not going to count yesterday because I didn't really make a conscious decision to quit.
Today I quit because I made the decision for me, by me and not because anyone else wanted me to do it. I woke up and said FUCK THIS. It's OVER. I'M QUITTING. I'm not sticking anymore of that shit in my mouth. I want to live. I want control back.
That is the attitude to have, hate the fuck out of nicotine, get quit, get your life back.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
Appreciate that but I should have been clearer. My last chew was yesterday around 12:30. I didn't chew again yesterday because I was in the car with my wife and kids for 8 hours and I was already in the doghouse and didn't want to pile it on by sticking a fat chew in my lip. So instead I shoved handfuls of sunflower seeds in my mouth and gritted it out. So I'm not going to count yesterday because I didn't really make a conscious decision to quit.
Today I quit because I made the decision for me, by me and not because anyone else wanted me to do it. I woke up and said FUCK THIS. It's OVER. I'M QUITTING. I'm not sticking anymore of that shit in my mouth. I want to live. I want control back.
That is the attitude to have, hate the fuck out of nicotine, get quit, get your life back.
I can't recall a time in life where quitting equals winning but I now know it does. Quit to win. It's me against the nic bitch.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
Appreciate that but I should have been clearer. My last chew was yesterday around 12:30. I didn't chew again yesterday because I was in the car with my wife and kids for 8 hours and I was already in the doghouse and didn't want to pile it on by sticking a fat chew in my lip. So instead I shoved handfuls of sunflower seeds in my mouth and gritted it out. So I'm not going to count yesterday because I didn't really make a conscious decision to quit.
Today I quit because I made the decision for me, by me and not because anyone else wanted me to do it. I woke up and said FUCK THIS. It's OVER. I'M QUITTING. I'm not sticking anymore of that shit in my mouth. I want to live. I want control back.
That is the attitude to have, hate the fuck out of nicotine, get quit, get your life back.
I can't recall a time in life where quitting equals winning but I now know it does. Quit to win. It's me against the nic bitch.
Man...I love your attitude. Call it day 1 or day 2. Doesn't matter to me if it doesn't matter to you. The only important thing is to not re-introduce the drug you're addicted to back into your body. Keep your word today, post roll first thing tomorrow. You got this!!!
Come here and yell and scream at us when it gets bad. And it will. We can take it. Don't take it out on your family. They didn't shove that shit in your face.
Yell if you need anything.
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You can stop today, and go post roll right now. Fuck tomorrow. Quit today.
To clarify...you are not dipping right? Because you posted roll today. Which means you are making a promise to everyone on this site that you will not dip today. If so welcome aboard. You can do this. No more lying, no more hiding, no more health risks. It certainly seems like it is time for you. So keep posting roll every morning you wake up. Deal with the craves (you definitely can) go to sleep, then post roll again tomorrow. You can do this.
I quit yesterday around 12:30 but since I did chew yesterday I didn't count it. I have QUIT and I have not chewed today. I'm taking it serious- can't afford not to. Nothing else has worked in the past when I tried to quit.
Today is day 2 then, if you quit yesterday it counts.
Appreciate that but I should have been clearer. My last chew was yesterday around 12:30. I didn't chew again yesterday because I was in the car with my wife and kids for 8 hours and I was already in the doghouse and didn't want to pile it on by sticking a fat chew in my lip. So instead I shoved handfuls of sunflower seeds in my mouth and gritted it out. So I'm not going to count yesterday because I didn't really make a conscious decision to quit.
Today I quit because I made the decision for me, by me and not because anyone else wanted me to do it. I woke up and said FUCK THIS. It's OVER. I'M QUITTING. I'm not sticking anymore of that shit in my mouth. I want to live. I want control back.
That is the attitude to have, hate the fuck out of nicotine, get quit, get your life back.
I can't recall a time in life where quitting equals winning but I now know it does. Quit to win. It's me against the nic bitch.
Man...I love your attitude. Call it day 1 or day 2. Doesn't matter to me if it doesn't matter to you. The only important thing is to not re-introduce the drug you're addicted to back into your body. Keep your word today, post roll first thing tomorrow. You got this!!!
Come here and yell and scream at us when it gets bad. And it will. We can take it. Don't take it out on your family. They didn't shove that shit in your face.
Yell if you need anything.
Appreciate it gmann!
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I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
Congrats on the quit and understanding your addiction. Make sure to have a fall back plan, lots of seeds, water, and gum. Helped a few of my craves over the last week.
Exercise like crazy if you have the time and mix up your routine. Just a few things that have helped me as a recent quit.
-
I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
Congrats on the quit and understanding your addiction. Make sure to have a fall back plan, lots of seeds, water, and gum. Helped a few of my craves over the last week.
Exercise like crazy if you have the time and mix up your routine. Just a few things that have helped me as a recent quit.
Thanks for the post and advice Raz79! Stocked full of seeds, gum and mints.
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I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
Congrats on the quit and understanding your addiction. Make sure to have a fall back plan, lots of seeds, water, and gum. Helped a few of my craves over the last week.
Exercise like crazy if you have the time and mix up your routine. Just a few things that have helped me as a recent quit.
Thanks for the post and advice Raz79! Stocked full of seeds, gum and mints.
I'm liking what I'm reading so far! I'm generally pretty decent at reading through lies, "bullshit" if you will. You seem sincere and determined. Shoot me a message in my Inbox and we will trade numbers. You sir just landed on my immediate quit radar! Let's kill this nic bitch, together.
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Success is your choice. You appear to have a full head of steam per our chat conversation and I look forward to see you hit your milestones along the way. This shit is not easy, and there will be some good days and bad days along your quit journey. We discussed some of the tools that are available to you here at KTC: note that some of them work better than others. Yet the 100% success rate in a person come from their own drive and desire to quit. I have complete faith in you and that I will be here on this journey with you, I walk the trail that has been traveled by many a quitter before me, the path is well worn and defined and they are all here along this path ready to light it for me when necessary. I can promise you that as others have done for me I too will help guide you along this trail, all that you need to do is say the words and I will be there.
We are brothers in addiction, a deceptive and vile little weed that was chemically altered to make us addicts has warped our brains; I will stick around and fight and I hope you will too.
P
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Success is your choice. You appear to have a full head of steam per our chat conversation and I look forward to see you hit your milestones along the way. This shit is not easy, and there will be some good days and bad days along your quit journey. We discussed some of the tools that are available to you here at KTC: note that some of them work better than others. Yet the 100% success rate in a person come from their own drive and desire to quit. I have complete faith in you and that I will be here on this journey with you, I walk the trail that has been traveled by many a quitter before me, the path is well worn and defined and they are all here along this path ready to light it for me when necessary. I can promise you that as others have done for me I too will help guide you along this trail, all that you need to do is say the words and I will be there.
We are brothers in addiction, a deceptive and vile little weed that was chemically altered to make us addicts has warped our brains; I will stick around and fight and I hope you will too.
P
Appreciate the advice and support Pinched! Great chatting with you and other quitters today. I agree about choices. I choose to chew and now I have chosen not to do it ever again.
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I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
Congrats on the quit and understanding your addiction. Make sure to have a fall back plan, lots of seeds, water, and gum. Helped a few of my craves over the last week.
Exercise like crazy if you have the time and mix up your routine. Just a few things that have helped me as a recent quit.
It was nice to meet you in chat. If you need my help, please do not hesitate in asking. Glad you found us.
-
I'm 38, married to a saint of a women, have 3 wonderful kids, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, great friends and family and for the past 12+ years I've decided to poison myself for 8-10 hours everyday 7 days a week. It didn't start out that way. It started out like anyone else with an innocent dip, then another one days, maybe even weeks later. Then a couple of times a week maybe. AND IT JUST KEEPS SNOWBALLING. I use to never, ever chew in front of my wife or kids. Now I find myself chewing at their sporting events, in the car when I'm driving them somewhere. Sure I try to hid it but they are starting to ask questions.
SCARED SHITLESS
I have white patchy shit on my tongue. My tongue hurts. I'm told it's thrush, I'm told it's from chewing. I'm told it won't go away unless I stop chewing. I have to put this liquid purple shit on it that dyes it extremely purple. Now I have a big throbbing purple tongue. It looks ridiculous- it feels worse.
Why in the fuck would I continue to put something in my mouth that is killing me? It's because I'm ADDICTED TO NICOTINE! I'm mad at myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I've been selfish. I've cared more about poison in a can and putting it into my lip for 8-10 hours a day then I have about my life, my wife or my kids. I've made excuses, I've lied to myself and I've lied to others I care about.
My house, my office, my car, my golf bag, my softball bag is completely rid of chew and not just thrown away in the trash- I've done that before and like a fucking derelict I dug through the stinking trash to get the can back out so I could have a chew. That's just fucking sad. Really, really, really fucking sad but I'm guessing I'm not the only guy here that has done that.
Today, 7/07, is the day I stop. Tomorrow is the day I remain quit and post roll. Then I repeat.
I'm new to this site but not new to quitting. I just haven't been successful in staying quit. Would like to chat with anyone anytime. I know I'm going to need a gut check every once in awhile. I know there are days it's going to be more difficult than others and I need someone to tell me to reach between my legs and make sure I still have balls and to fucking man up and stay quit. Quit tobacco. Quit killing yourself. Quit being a pussy. Quit making excuses. Just fucking quit.
Congrats on the quit and understanding your addiction. Make sure to have a fall back plan, lots of seeds, water, and gum. Helped a few of my craves over the last week.
Exercise like crazy if you have the time and mix up your routine. Just a few things that have helped me as a recent quit.
It was nice to meet you in chat. If you need my help, please do not hesitate in asking. Glad you found us.
Thanks Scowick! Quitting isn't fun but it's better than the alternative!
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for dipping all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again then fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
I got some serious quit wood. Awesome post FM!
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
I got some serious quit wood. Awesome post FM!
Good meeting you in chat today! You will never regret quitting. Hang tough and continue to use the tools here. Good to have you aboard!
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
I got some serious quit wood. Awesome post FM!
Good meeting you in chat today! You will never regret quitting. Hang tough and continue to use the tools here. Good to have you aboard!
Great to meet you as well Sam! It feels good to be part of something positive! It feels great to QUIT!
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
I got some serious quit wood. Awesome post FM!
Good meeting you in chat today! You will never regret quitting. Hang tough and continue to use the tools here. Good to have you aboard!
Great to meet you as well Sam! It feels good to be part of something positive! It feels great to QUIT!
Great story, I used to experience the same addict behavior. What I did was put a token of sorts in those habit reaches (desk drawer - is a super bounce ball with my daughter's picture inside, pocket is an old silver dollar coin that my father carried in his pocket for over 30 years, truck, a bag of sunflower seeds)
Keep doing what you are doing, every day is a victory in the battlefield in the war against tobacco.
-
There is an awful fine quit going on in here. If you ever need any help don't hesitate to ask for it.
-
Day 2 and work is winding down. Usually that's when I take a fresh pinch of poison and put it on top of the already massive turd I have in my mouth. Today was tough at times. Pretty awful headache for awhile. Stomach has been upset. The fog at times almost seems fake- like am I really awake right now. I can't concentrate for any considerable amount of time. I've gone through some sweating. I've been pounding water and pissing all damn day.
Day 2 thoughts:
The alternative is worse.
At times I relish the pain- I hear guys say it sucks- I say bring it on- makes me focus on the pain instead of thinking about having a dip. It let's me know that my body is healing and it's telling me never to be a dumbass and put that shit in my body again.
After answering a problem at work I actually reached into my drawer where I use to keep my can and was feeling around for it before I even realized what the fuck I was doing.
Quitting is worth it. I've been so ashamed of myself for chewing all these years that lately I had a difficult time looking my wife and kids in the eyes. When my wife asked me how my day was going (she knows I quit and she's damn proud and happy about it) even though the withdrawal shit is for real, I looked her right in the eye and said "It's going great because I haven't had a dip". And I meant it.
If being a quitter the rest of my life means that I never put nicotine in my body again than fuck it I'm a QUITTER.
I'm finishing this day as a quitter then I'm waking up and I'm gonna be a quitter all the next day. Then I'm going to do it again.
Great victory today! You honored your promise and remained quit! Quit for you first, and when things get hard then look at why your quitting... money, health, wife, kids, etc. One foot in front of the other. We will do this again tomorrow, and I'll be walking into battle with you....
I'll come too. 'Remshot'
Keep bringing it Basshaug! Keep bringing QUIT everyday.
I got some serious quit wood. Awesome post FM!
Good meeting you in chat today! You will never regret quitting. Hang tough and continue to use the tools here. Good to have you aboard!
Great to meet you as well Sam! It feels good to be part of something positive! It feels great to QUIT!
Great story, I used to experience the same addict behavior. What I did was put a token of sorts in those habit reaches (desk drawer - is a super bounce ball with my daughter's picture inside, pocket is an old silver dollar coin that my father carried in his pocket for over 30 years, truck, a bag of sunflower seeds)
Keep doing what you are doing, every day is a victory in the battlefield in the war against tobacco.
Great advice Pinched! I like that a lot.
-
Thanks Matty! It's been a great morning in the sense that I've felt like shit- it's great because that means the demon is trying to hang on but my body is pushing it out. This morning at work has been brutal! Down a customer service person and I'm so far behind from my lack of concentration that I've got a big hole to dig out of. This is the time I use to throw in a fatty and just hit it. That was the old way of 'solving things'- using dip as a security blanket. Thinking putting poison in my lip is going to make me get through this or that. FUCK THAT! I can do this without killing myself in the process. That guy 'needing' a dip to do this or that is weak and that little bastard has been slowing dying these last few days and I'm going to keep killing that mother fucker. I hate that guy. I like the new guy a lot better. The guy I use to be is coming back and I'm enjoying his return.
Heading to the gas station now. Grabbing a monster bottle of water and two bags of seeds (because I'm fresh out). And I'm going to show that nic bitch I can do just that. Another trigger I'm beating today, another victory. And every victory makes me want to QUIT even harder. Reinforces that all these steps are walking me down the right path, a path of control.
QUIT strong everyday. The alternative is worse.
-
Thanks Matty! It's been a great morning in the sense that I've felt like shit- it's great because that means the demon is trying to hang on but my body is pushing it out. This morning at work has been brutal! Down a customer service person and I'm so far behind from my lack of concentration that I've got a big hole to dig out of. This is the time I use to throw in a fatty and just hit it. That was the old way of 'solving things'- using dip as a security blanket. Thinking putting poison in my lip is going to make me get through this or that. FUCK THAT! I can do this without killing myself in the process. That guy 'needing' a dip to do this or that is weak and that little bastard has been slowing dying these last few days and I'm going to keep killing that mother fucker. I hate that guy. I like the new guy a lot better. The guy I use to be is coming back and I'm enjoying his return.
Heading to the gas station now. Grabbing a monster bottle of water and two bags of seeds (because I'm fresh out). And I'm going to show that nic bitch I can do just that. Another trigger I'm beating today, another victory. And every victory makes me want to QUIT even harder. Reinforces that all these steps are walking me down the right path, a path of control.
QUIT strong everyday. The alternative is worse.
Stay strong! Remember a problem plus nicotine = 2 problems. Stay close to the site today, Day 3 was a real bitch for a lot of us, and my personal worst day.
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
Fuck yeah! You climbed a mountain. I remember being in the same spot.,...Did you notice your eyes look at that tray of shit behind the cashier about a million times? That's how you take on the beast and learn to live another day. One of the funny things about quitting is I hardly ever go into a gas station anymore. Just pay for my gas with a credit card and get back on the road like all the rst of the sane people in the world. Look at Derk40's intro I remember he wrote a similar story a while back. Great work brutha!
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
Fuck yeah! You climbed a mountain. I remember being in the same spot.,...Did you notice your eyes look at that tray of shit behind the cashier about a million times? That's how you take on the beast and learn to live another day. One of the funny things about quitting is I hardly ever go into a gas station anymore. Just pay for my gas with a credit card and get back on the road like all the rst of the sane people in the world. Look at Derk40's intro I remember he wrote a similar story a while back. Great work brutha!
Reading this just makes me hate big tobacco more. They knowingly rape us for the almighty buck. Fuck them. We aren't playing their game anymore. Its BS that a substance that has us so messed up is LEGAL! WTF! Good Job FMB707! Freaking victory!
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
Fuck yeah! You climbed a mountain. I remember being in the same spot.,...Did you notice your eyes look at that tray of shit behind the cashier about a million times? That's how you take on the beast and learn to live another day. One of the funny things about quitting is I hardly ever go into a gas station anymore. Just pay for my gas with a credit card and get back on the road like all the rst of the sane people in the world. Look at Derk40's intro I remember he wrote a similar story a while back. Great work brutha!
Reading this just makes me hate big tobacco more. They knowingly rape us for the almighty buck. Fuck them. We aren't playing their game anymore. Its BS that a substance that has us so messed up is LEGAL! WTF! Good Job FMB707! Freaking victory!
Way to stare down the nic bitch FMBM, it was a challenge, and today you won. Next time it will be easier knowing you have the tools to ignore the bitch altogether!
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
Fuck yeah! You climbed a mountain. I remember being in the same spot.,...Did you notice your eyes look at that tray of shit behind the cashier about a million times? That's how you take on the beast and learn to live another day. One of the funny things about quitting is I hardly ever go into a gas station anymore. Just pay for my gas with a credit card and get back on the road like all the rst of the sane people in the world. Look at Derk40's intro I remember he wrote a similar story a while back. Great work brutha!
Reading this just makes me hate big tobacco more. They knowingly rape us for the almighty buck. Fuck them. We aren't playing their game anymore. Its BS that a substance that has us so messed up is LEGAL! WTF! Good Job FMB707! Freaking victory!
Way to stare down the nic bitch FMBM, it was a challenge, and today you won. Next time it will be easier knowing you have the tools to ignore the bitch altogether!
Thanks fellas. Glad to get past it but know that won't be the only time I have to deal with it head on. I knew I wasn't going to cave but I thought I was going to lose my temper. Tired. Sluggish. Mad. BUT QUIT
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
Fuck yeah! You climbed a mountain. I remember being in the same spot.,...Did you notice your eyes look at that tray of shit behind the cashier about a million times? That's how you take on the beast and learn to live another day. One of the funny things about quitting is I hardly ever go into a gas station anymore. Just pay for my gas with a credit card and get back on the road like all the rst of the sane people in the world. Look at Derk40's intro I remember he wrote a similar story a while back. Great work brutha!
Reading this just makes me hate big tobacco more. They knowingly rape us for the almighty buck. Fuck them. We aren't playing their game anymore. Its BS that a substance that has us so messed up is LEGAL! WTF! Good Job FMB707! Freaking victory!
Way to stare down the nic bitch FMBM, it was a challenge, and today you won. Next time it will be easier knowing you have the tools to ignore the bitch altogether!
Thanks fellas. Glad to get past it but know that won't be the only time I have to deal with it head on. I knew I wasn't going to cave but I thought I was going to lose my temper. Tired. Sluggish. Mad. BUT QUIT
Day 3 suck balls dude, never forget this feeling, and never go through it again!
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
I remember the first trip back to the place I bought my poison. Little gas where all the pretty little girls knew my name and knew just what I wanted to buy. Went a lot like yours did.
I remember sitting in the parking lot in the car. I got a text from sand fleas gotta eat. He was just checking in. Man you don't know how good his timing was thinking I could just go get one.
Make sure you get you a set of numbers man. My little text group has saved my ass more than once.
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
I remember the first trip back to the place I bought my poison. Little gas where all the pretty little girls knew my name and knew just what I wanted to buy. Went a lot like yours did.
I remember sitting in the parking lot in the car. I got a text from sand fleas gotta eat. He was just checking in. Man you don't know how good his timing was thinking I could just go get one.
Make sure you get you a set of numbers man. My little text group has saved my ass more than once.
What's on the agenda tomorrow? I say it's time to tackle another trigger. You won today so that means you can damn sure win tomorrow. That's how it's done. One trigger at a time. No more hiding bro. You want it take it, it's yours. The poison don't just give it back. Good things coming friend. Believe it!
-
FIRST TIME LEAVING THE HOUSE SINCE I QUIT. FIRST TRIP TO A GAS STATION. I was out of seeds and I needed to know I could do this.
Aw FUCK- that was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Simple plan: walk in there, go get a couple large bottles of water, go right to the seeds, grab a bunch of bags of seeds, walk up to the counter plop that shit down, pay and walk out. Sounds easy enough.
THAT IS NOT HOW IT WENT! Getting the bottles of water was easy enough but I couldn't find the seeds right away. WHERE IN THE FUCK are the seeds! Finally found them and just started grabbing bags. I think I got some jalapeño ranch- that'll be interesting. Got to the counter just behind this other dude. He must be a regular because him and the chick behind the counter have a nice little conversation. Foot starts tapping, keeping my eyes lowered because I know where that poison shit is and I can tell it's staring at me. I'm silently telling it to go fuck itself. They are oblivious to the rage that is building behind them. I'm about ready to lose my shit- I can feel it coming on- I'm almost shaking I'm getting so pissed. Dude finally pays for his shit and leaves. I drop my shit on the counter, lady has no sense of urgency, why should she, then the scanner stops scanning, again no real sense of urgency. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW LADY- I'm playing with fire, tempting fate. She figures the scanner out, rings me up and I bolt for the door. I get in my car and just sit there. It's then I realize I have the chills.
This was the first time I have left my house since I QUIT. For all you other fellas that have to leave everyday to head into an office and then drive home hat tip to you. That can't be an easy task driving by all those places that sell poison.
Thought I was doing great before that episode. I will strengthen my resolve further today. It was another victory- I can take that away from it- but I realized I've got a lot of work to do. ODAAT.
I remember the first trip back to the place I bought my poison. Little gas where all the pretty little girls knew my name and knew just what I wanted to buy. Went a lot like yours did.
I remember sitting in the parking lot in the car. I got a text from sand fleas gotta eat. He was just checking in. Man you don't know how good his timing was thinking I could just go get one.
Make sure you get you a set of numbers man. My little text group has saved my ass more than once.
What's on the agenda tomorrow? I say it's time to tackle another trigger. You won today so that means you can damn sure win tomorrow. That's how it's done. One trigger at a time. No more hiding bro. You want it take it, it's yours. The poison don't just give it back. Good things coming friend. Believe it!
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
-
Hi there. Nice to meet you tonight. Remember, stay out of the gas stations and let the beer stay chilled at the liquor store. Those times will come. Remain strong and pissed off but don't forget these days. If you cannot do today then you won't need to worry about tomorrow. Don't worry about the day counts of others. We all got to where we are one day at time, 24 hours at a time.
More advice? KEEP THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. SIMPLE.
Quit with you
-
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend
-
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend
You are building an awesome foundation of quit!
-
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend
You are building an awesome foundation of quit!
Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.
Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and then do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.
I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.
I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.
There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.
I'm really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.
So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.
The alternative is worse.
-
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend
You are building an awesome foundation of quit!
Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.
Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to put pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and them do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.
I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.
I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.
There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.
I really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.
So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.
The alternative is worse.
Well, I have been quit for a year (3 days shy of that but damn close) and still yet lastnight I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream for my kids because I promised them Sundaes if they helped clean the house while my wife worked on her homework. I went straight in grabbed the ice cream, a magazine and some chocolate syrup; stood in line staring at the jeweled glass case full of poison with no urge. Then while walking out to my truck I had the feeling that something was missing. Didn't at the time correlate the missing link until today.
See when I was a dipper although I was not a ninja about it at all I still took "trips" away from the house to have some one on one time with my can of cancerous weed. I am almost ashamed to admit it but yeah I am still an addict. However, I make the choice to be a quit addict in recovery today. No bad decisions about cancer for me today.
-
srans. The only thing I'm sure about tomorrow is that I'm going to wake up, I'm gonna take a nice long piss, I'm going to march my happy nic free ass into my office and I'm going to post roll. IN THAT ORDER. Then I'm going to honor my word all day long and then I'm going to do it again. And I know that I am going to wake up happy no matter how my body might feel, I'm going to wake up happy because I know I won again. I love the feeling of winning and that's going to be my new addiction. Winning. Winning the QUIT everyday.
Now about triggers. You have to face them head on. Don't toe the water if you will but meet them straight on and WIN.
I've got a couple of more triggers I'm glad to tackle tonight:
1.) Wife is working late- that USE TO mean a couple of beers after the kids went down and a big fat pinch of poison while I sat on the couch alone with my disgusting habit. That isn't happening tonight. Kids go down. I'm headed to the garage to lift weights and get a sweat on.
2.) Need to work later tonight to catch up from the fog. AND I THINK IT'S AWESOME that I have to work late because I didn't put a cat turd in my lip. I have to work late because I'm WINNING and because I'm not making up reason to work late so I could lock in some death dip.
I hated the guy that use to do that stuff. I've hated that guy for years. I love the new guy he's a BIG FUCKING QUITTER and HE'S AWESOME!
I'M A QUITTER today and I'LL BE A QUITTER tomorrow.
The alternative is worse.
This post is absolutely awesome. Well done, friend
You are building an awesome foundation of quit!
Thanks fellas. Have to keep tackling old habits and rewiring- starting new habits.
Every time I beat a trigger the next time it will be easier and I will build on that for the triggers I have yet to face but I know are coming. In the end they were all just poor excuses to put pinch some poison. I have to do all those things I used to do with a death dip and do them without and them do them again without and again and then keep fucking doing them again because it will get easier the more times I face them.
I have received some great advice from a lot of vets and newbies alike. All of our journeys are different but with the same goal: QUITTING. A couple of vets told me to stay out of gas stations not to even go in them. Just get gas, pay at the pump and leave. That's not me. I have to face this full on every damn day. I have to be realistic but I also have to build a foundation of trust with myself and that means I have to face it, not make excuses. With my QUIT I have to walk in there and tell that nic bitch to go fuck herself and then I continue to do that over and over and over again. I eventually won't have to tell her to go fuck herself because she already knows to go fuck herself, maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.
I've got 3 young kids and I'm damn sure not going to tell them daddy can't do this or that because although daddy doesn't put poison in his mouth every fucking waking minute daddy is still a big nicotine bitch boy which means that I can't take you into a gas station to buy a ring pop or some bubba bubba. No, that isn't me. Instead I'm going to grab their little hands, walk in there and buy me a ring pop with them. It's therapeutic.
There are certain things I know I am not ready to handle. Things I need to have a much stronger QUIT on to handle fully. I know I'm not ready to drink. I'll get there but it isn't now.
I really starting to believe while it's early in a QUIT it's best to face some of those triggers when you have a big raging QUIT hard-on. Don't hide from them- seek them out. Get through them when you can control them and while you are all jacked up on QUIT Kool AId.
So today while I'm all fired up on drinking a bunch of KTC QUIT Kool Aid I'm marching my ass back up to that fucking gas station and buying some water and some gum and I'm going to do it calmly like any other normal person would. I know that evil little bitch will be staring at me and I am going to tell her to eat a big fat donkey dick.
The alternative is worse.
Well, I have been quit for a year (3 days shy of that but damn close) and still yet lastnight I went to the grocery store to pick up some ice cream for my kids because I promised them Sundaes if they helped clean the house while my wife worked on her homework. I went straight in grabbed the ice cream, a magazine and some chocolate syrup; stood in line staring at the jeweled glass case full of poison with no urge. Then while walking out to my truck I had the feeling that something was missing. Didn't at the time correlate the missing link until today.
See when I was a dipper although I was not a ninja about it at all I still took "trips" away from the house to have some one on one time with my can of cancerous weed. I am almost ashamed to admit it but yeah I am still an addict. However, I make the choice to be a quit addict in recovery today. No bad decisions about cancer for me today.
maybe after a year or so I can just give her a little nod like I see you and I still hate you.
Fuck the little nod. Keep that bitch in the junk! Let her know you mean business and that she is NOT WELCOME!!!
Quit on quitter! Love the attitude.
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Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.
Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.
Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.
The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.
I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:
1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.
3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.
I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?
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Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.
Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.
Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.
The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.
I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:
1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.
3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.
I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?
Don't forget the most important one FMBM... whatever it takes to keep the nicotine out of your mouth today.
Also don't forget the conversation we had in chat the other night, eruss and I figured you were a day behind in your count. Just because you found us after you "stopped" that day still counts so make sure to recognize your on Day 5 actually tomorrow. Every day is important and a journey on it's own early, keep doing what your doing. You got this brother!
I quit with you today.
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it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!
everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.
1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!
A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.
I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.
-
Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.
Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.
Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.
The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.
I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:
1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.
3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.
I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?
Don't forget the most important one FMBM... whatever it takes to keep the nicotine out of your mouth today.
Also don't forget the conversation we had in chat the other night, eruss and I figured you were a day behind in your count. Just because you found us after you "stopped" that day still counts so make sure to recognize your on Day 5 actually tomorrow. Every day is important and a journey on it's own early, keep doing what your doing. You got this brother!
I quit with you today.
Thanks Jlud007. Appreciate the post and words of advice. It all helps. I'm sticking to my guns on the quit date. Sunday when I took that dip out I didn't do it intending to quit. Monday when I woke up- that's when I said I'm done with the poison and found KTC. 7/07 is my quit date and so is 7/8, 7/9 and now 7/10. As you mentioned in the chat don't focus on the numbers right? Just ODAAT. Follow the process. STAY QUIT
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it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!
everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.
1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!
A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.
I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.
Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.
-
it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!
everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.
1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!
A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.
I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.
Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.
Drink the KTC Kool-aide in moderation; it may cause constipation.
-
it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
My opinion and there is a lot of opinions around. Do what ever you have to right now to keep the poison out of your pie hole. If worrying about the fake helps then worry about it. Whatever it takes to keep the poison out!
everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
Admitting this ^^^^^ is not a bad thing. I'm still an addict at 500 + days and that's ok. My feeling are not hurt. It gives me rules to follow. It gives me boundaries I must not cross. I know that 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. I know that I cannot control this addiction. I know to continue to heal I must live by the following. Not today for any reason. Admitting your an addict begins the healing process.
1 other thing. Forget forever brother. Forever has to many variable. Forever is never. All we have is today. Forever is not going to help you today. Steve has one thing to be concerned with. TODAY!!!!!
A lot of things are going through your head at this point. Your mind will start clearing in the next couple days bro. Settle in, your not going anywhere. You have begun to build a new Steve. The new Steve is going to be one bad dude. Believe me when I tell you that In time your going to kick yourself right in that booty for ever putting the poison in your pie hole. Believe me when I tell you, in a very short time (may feel like forever, but it's not) you will begin feeling better. Making it through a day without the poison will become easier and easier.
I know you can do this, you want to know how I know!?!? If i did it you can damn sure do it. You've made it almost 3 days my friend. That's how I know! Nothing about your quit is new. 1000's have used this site to quit successfully and your next. Welcome to a whole new and better life. Start believing it bro. I quit with you today.
Srans! Thanks for the post and advice. Love it all- It's like getting a big ol' glass of KTC kool aid and slamming it back to keep the quit strong.
Drink the KTC Kool-aide in moderation; it may cause constipation.
Pinched I can handle constipation and a lot of other types or lack there of 'shit'... as long as I'm QUIT
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FMBM
You've got a good quit going on here. Stay vigilant and you will prevail. Nice to have another Missouri brother even if your avatar is nowhere as good as p's and you are being tainted by texass.
Quit with you. Text or pm me if you need anything.
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FMBM
You've got a good quit going on here. Stay vigilant and you will prevail. Nice to have another Missouri brother even if your avatar is nowhere as good as p's and you are being tainted by texass.
Quit with you. Text or pm me if you need anything.
Thx Doc! Staying focused on the QUIT and catching up at work from my complete lack of concentration this week. I'm not even sure how to change an avatar or any of that shit. Way down on the priority list.
I've enjoyed all the physical withdrawal symptoms because they harden my resolve. They are starting to dwindle though- time for the mental aspect.
"QUITTING (sic) is about EXECUTION, the only ones who disagree are on Death Row" Mike Shannon- of course had the word 'baseball' instead of quitting but same rule applies
"Execution matters and lack of it loses" LaRussa
QUIT hard EDD!
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FMBM...congrats on your decision and your determination to stay quit. Trust us...stay strong, drink the Kool-Aid and it gets better.
Make sure you schedule a dentist appointment...it will get your mind right to hear everything is okay.
I can say that exercise helped me tremendously...not a marathon but when craves hit, I get up and walk around the block. By the time I get back, I feel better.
Also, I have a daughter who has a $5K check on her bulletin board and I've told her I will sign if I ever put that poison in my mouth again.
Proud to quit with you today.
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Keep it going dude....you are doing great...
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FMBM...congrats on your decision and your determination to stay quit. Trust us...stay strong, drink the Kool-Aid and it gets better.
Make sure you schedule a dentist appointment...it will get your mind right to hear everything is okay.
I can say that exercise helped me tremendously...not a marathon but when craves hit, I get up and walk around the block. By the time I get back, I feel better.
Also, I have a daughter who has a $5K check on her bulletin board and I've told her I will sign if I ever put that poison in my mouth again.
Proud to quit with you today.
$5,000! That's a commitment right there! Tack another one up there with my name on it if that helps! LOL
Appreciate the advice on the dentist- I need to go face that head on as well! If it's bad news I need to deal with it sooner rather than later. If it's good news...then it's good news and it's one less thing to concern myself with.
Facing this demon head on has helped me in other aspects of my life. I'm happier. I'm more in the present with the people around me. I'm a better person knowing I don't have a dip of death in my lip.
Beat that fucker back every day and eventually he won't come around as often but I know he'll be there if I drop my guard. This IS a nasty addiction but it WAS a nasty habit. QUITTING is believing. QUITTING is freedom.
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Day 6 today! I have slept like shit. Every morning I've been awake by 0500- which isn't normal and every morning I've had a headache. I can deal with all of that knowing that just means I'M QUIT.
KTC site has really helped. The other QUITTERS in pre-HOF Oct 2014 have helped by sharing their trials, their past, their stories. Learning from guys that are QUIT for triple digits or with commas has been a big help. RDAD- YOU ARE THE MAN- REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR INSIGHT AND SUGGESTIONS. DIG YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT. Reading intros, HOF speeches or whatever these proven QUITTERS are currently posting. Live Chat is a great way to take the mind off a crave. Reading and reading more on here helps. Spongebob's post that someone shared- that was truly heartfelt. You could just feel the emotion in that. By sharing his experience, opening up about his wife and her struggle, and his thought process- I hope he knows by doing that he is helping QUITTERS stay QUIT every day. I hope he knows it touched a cord with this QUITTER.
CAVERS HAVE THEIR PLACE IN THIS JOURNEY. You can learn from them.
THE PROCESS: focus on the process and the results will come.
Idaho-Miner who had about a week under his belt decided to deviate from the process: DO NOT drink alcohol for 50 days. He decided to go to a bar and have a beer. If he read HOW TO QUIT he would know not to drink alcohol, so by gong into that bar and having a drink he was setting himself up to fail. He wanted to fail and have an excuse. IF HE DIDN'T KNOW that was part of the process then he wasn't really into his QUIT. You can't just post your name and then expect that you'll be magically given the gift of QUIT. You have to earn it. He didn't want it enough, he didn't follow the process and he caved. He wanted an excuse to cave. Don't tell me you had a tough day or a hard week. Wah. We all have tough days and tough weeks. IT'S FUCKING LIFE YOU ARE GOING TO FACE DIFFICULT DECISIONS AND TIMES IN YOUR LIFE. Tell me one fucking person that hasn't had to face their own difficulties. Exactly. You can't name one fucking person. So don't tell me about your hard week. I don't give a shit.
Before you can really QUIT you have to QUIT making excuses. The no alcohol for 50 days is worst than the damn withdrawal symptoms! I love to booze but I've chosen that QUITTING nicotine is MORE important than having a beer. Until you are ready to make that commitment as well as other commitments you are kidding yourself and wasting people's time.
SIDE NOTE: I'm really looking forward to enjoying an ice cold beer in 44 days.
This is a proven process and right now the only sub 100 cavers I have seen are guys who deviated from a proven process.
The PROCESS will yield results but that is not enough:
Kubiak who had 700+ days caved after what I read was a booze ladened day with his buddies. I love all day boozefests! And I thought after 50 days I should be able to jump back into shit like that but Kubiak taught me the process isn't exact science. 50 days of not boozing may work for 90% of the QUITTERS but for some that number may be lower or higher. When you are sitting at 6 days 700+ seems like a lot of days but it's around 2 years. I believe in facing this shit head on but you have to be realistic and have your mind right. If you can pick your battles that's great but you also have to be prepared mentally for the battles that you can't pick- we are all going to face those times.
QUIT hard every fucking day. Make the right decision. It's your choice- it's that easy.
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Day 6 today! I have slept like shit. Every morning I've been awake by 0500- which isn't normal and every morning I've had a headache. I can deal with all of that knowing that just means I'M QUIT.
KTC site has really helped. The other QUITTERS in pre-HOF Oct 2014 have helped by sharing their trials, their past, their stories. Learning from guys that are QUIT for triple digits or with commas has been a big help. RDAD- YOU ARE THE MAN- REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR INSIGHT AND SUGGESTIONS. DIG YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT. Reading intros, HOF speeches or whatever these proven QUITTERS are currently posting. Live Chat is a great way to take the mind off a crave. Reading and reading more on here helps. Spongebob's post that someone shared- that was truly heartfelt. You could just feel the emotion in that. By sharing his experience, opening up about his wife and her struggle, and his thought process- I hope he knows by doing that he is helping QUITTERS stay QUIT every day. I hope he knows it touched a cord with this QUITTER.
CAVERS HAVE THEIR PLACE IN THIS JOURNEY. You can learn from them.
THE PROCESS: focus on the process and the results will come.
Idaho-Miner who had about a week under his belt decided to deviate from the process: DO NOT drink alcohol for 50 days. He decided to go to a bar and have a beer. If he read HOW TO QUIT he would know not to drink alcohol, so by gong into that bar and having a drink he was setting himself up to fail. He wanted to fail and have an excuse. IF HE DIDN'T KNOW that was part of the process then he wasn't really into his QUIT. You can't just post your name and then expect that you'll be magically given the gift of QUIT. You have to earn it. He didn't want it enough, he didn't follow the process and he caved. He wanted an excuse to cave. Don't tell me you had a tough day or a hard week. Wah. We all have tough days and tough weeks. IT'S FUCKING LIFE YOU ARE GOING TO FACE DIFFICULT DECISIONS AND TIMES IN YOUR LIFE. Tell me one fucking person that hasn't had to face their own difficulties. Exactly. You can't name one fucking person. So don't tell me about your hard week. I don't give a shit.
Before you can really QUIT you have to QUIT making excuses. The no alcohol for 50 days is worst than the damn withdrawal symptoms! I love to booze but I've chosen that QUITTING nicotine is MORE important than having a beer. Until you are ready to make that commitment as well as other commitments you are kidding yourself and wasting people's time.
SIDE NOTE: I'm really looking forward to enjoying an ice cold beer in 44 days.
This is a proven process and right now the only sub 100 cavers I have seen are guys who deviated from a proven process.
The PROCESS will yield results but that is not enough:
Kubiak who had 700+ days caved after what I read was a booze ladened day with his buddies. I love all day boozefests! And I thought after 50 days I should be able to jump back into shit like that but Kubiak taught me the process isn't exact science. 50 days of not boozing may work for 90% of the QUITTERS but for some that number may be lower or higher. When you are sitting at 6 days 700+ seems like a lot of days but it's around 2 years. I believe in facing this shit head on but you have to be realistic and have your mind right. If you can pick your battles that's great but you also have to be prepared mentally for the battles that you can't pick- we are all going to face those times.
QUIT hard every fucking day. Make the right decision. It's your choice- it's that easy.
great post, you are seeing though all the lies.
you are finding that the information here in the intros and the info and diversions in chat are a part of the process to educate everyone that it is they, themselves that control that weed, that poison that held us as slaves for so long (over 23 years here).
you are seeing that there can be strength in everyone's story, even those who fail, and that you can gain from others experiences even when they make the stupidest ones out there.
well done and keep up the great work
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Quite a few vets told me to use this as a journal of how you felt each day.
Yesterday (DAY 3): toughest of the 3 days so far. Woke up a little before 5 for no reason that I can think of. Had a headache right on the top part of my head. Felt tired and sluggish and impatient most of the day. My stomach is not loving this change either- and I thought that would be an immediate improvement- not the case so far but I'll give it some time to right itself.
Headache came and went all day and the fog lifted for a pretty good stretch for the first time in 2 days so I was able to concentrate long enough to complete more than one task at work.
The first two days I was really jacked up on QUIT adrenaline- kinda ran out of steam around 4:00- typical time of day when I would throw a poisonous turd into my lip on top of the one I was already killing myself with. Thanks to KTC live chat I got some solid advice and put a nice big pinch of coffee grinds in to get over the hump and hammer through the last hour or so of work. Felt a little ashamed at first- had a lipper of coffee grinds and was spitting into a bottle- it was like I was cheating or something. I guess I'm really battling two things: nicotine addiction and oral fixation. Need to KILL THE NICOTINE first and foremost. But damn I'd like to get rid of both.
I read a great post by Bulldog0311 yesterday about the fake stuff and trying to get off that and I think he is around 200 days QUIT. A lot of guys with triple digit plus QUITS going on chimed in on it. I recommend it to all the newbies. It taught me three things:
1.) it's alright to use that stuff as long as you stay QUIT from nicotine
2.) the fake stuff can be QUIT in their own time when they have served their purpose of the more important QUIT.
3.) everyone's journey is different but there is one true constant: we are all addicted to nicotine and will be forever.
I've had a real hard time accepting #3- a real hard time but I know it's true. And I know I need to embrace that fact. It's not that I don't want to believe it so I can use nicotine again. I don't want to believe because at some point whether that was a year or 10 years down this path I wanted to believe that I wouldn't think about it.
I'm really hoping some of those guys with the commas to their QUIT can shed some light on #3. Is it always constant? Are there days or even weeks where it really doesn't cross your mind?
Hey FM. I'm glad you got something out of my intro. Of all the pieces of advice I've received by some really amazing people the journal is the second best. All of its good but the journal is different. It allows you the chance to look back and see yourself in a new light. The very best advice is one you'll see a lot. Don't look too far down the road. Especially in the beginning. Try to just worry about one day. It's hard. I kept thinking about the hall. Try to just worry about one day. The days wil eventually add up man. One day at time.
I wouldn't recommend reading your own intro until you're past 100 days. It gives you some perspective. I waited to read mine and man, I didn't recognize myself. I did recognize addict behavior though. It was sad but in a good way. I knew I had left that guy behind me.
Stay strong man. The days get better. There are some bad ones still hiding in there but just wait for that first day you actually forget about chewing. It's amazing to realize you just spent a whole day, the way you were meant to, without thinking about poison. It's really pretty awesome.
-
DAY 6 DAY 7: my first cat turd lip free weekend in a long time.
I thought the weekend would be a breeze compared to the work week. Less stress and a lot more relaxing. It was the first weekend in months that we didn't have something. And because we didn't have much going on it was going to be a nice and relaxing weekend. I was thinking how fortunate I was that I had a real chill weekend on my first quit weekend. Man was I ever WRONG- all the idle time made me have some serious craves. I had to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of the poison.
I still woke up at around 0500 but I had no headache and I was actually able to fall back asleep for 4 hours. I clocked about 9 hours of rack time. That's the most sleep I've had in one night since the start of the QUIT and it was AWESOME.
For the most part today I kept busy which kept my mind off of the rat poison but earlier I was out running errands before having to pick my kids up from their cousins. I finished the errands with quite of bit of time to kill before I had to pick my kids up- that idle time is a killer but I was prepared in that I had a bag of seeds and a fresh pack of gum with me.
I still found myself going to a store but I stared that nic bitch down and got some hot tamales and mike ikes- been a long time since I had either of those!
Keepin' the QUIT STRONG ODAAT.
-
DAY 6 DAY 7: my first cat turd lip free weekend in a long time.
I thought the weekend would be a breeze compared to the work week. Less stress and a lot more relaxing. It was the first weekend in months that we didn't have something. And because we didn't have much going on it was going to be a nice and relaxing weekend. I was thinking how fortunate I was that I had a real chill weekend on my first quit weekend. Man was I ever WRONG- all the idle time made me have some serious craves. I had to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of the poison.
I still woke up at around 0500 but I had no headache and I was actually able to fall back asleep for 4 hours. I clocked about 9 hours of rack time. That's the most sleep I've had in one night since the start of the QUIT and it was AWESOME.
For the most part today I kept busy which kept my mind off of the rat poison but earlier I was out running errands before having to pick my kids up from their cousins. I finished the errands with quite of bit of time to kill before I had to pick my kids up- that idle time is a killer but I was prepared in that I had a bag of seeds and a fresh pack of gum with me.
I still found myself going to a store but I stared that nic bitch down and got some hot tamales and mike ikes- been a long time since I had either of those!
Keepin' the QUIT STRONG ODAAT.
Keep moving bro . The nic bitch loves a sitting target.
Over time it will get easier, I.promise you that.
This morning I got up at 6AM, played 18 holes, had a few beers on the 19th, grabbed a king sized sando from the local deli on my way home, and mowed it down by myself watching the tigers lose and some boring ass soccer for 5 hours as my wife and kids were at the in-laws.
I.couldn't have done that early in my quit. Not without going bat-shit crazy, think somehow dip would make all.of it better.
Today I did it without a thought of dip. Hell, my buddy who I shared a cart with smoked an entire pack. Another guy in our foursome was dipping and offered everyone a pinch. I didn't even bat an eye. Even after my asshole buddy said, "He quit two years ago. He knows he wants some though. You know you miss that shit, num num.num". (My buddy is a bit odd).
I just laughed and said "shut up dick. Thanks man, but I'm good".
I know I'll always be a nic fiend and I'll never be "cured" but I actually feel "normal" now.
Keep grinding days out like you did today, and you will too.
Quit on...
-
DAY 6 DAY 7: my first cat turd lip free weekend in a long time.
I thought the weekend would be a breeze compared to the work week. Less stress and a lot more relaxing. It was the first weekend in months that we didn't have something. And because we didn't have much going on it was going to be a nice and relaxing weekend. I was thinking how fortunate I was that I had a real chill weekend on my first quit weekend. Man was I ever WRONG- all the idle time made me have some serious craves. I had to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of the poison.
I still woke up at around 0500 but I had no headache and I was actually able to fall back asleep for 4 hours. I clocked about 9 hours of rack time. That's the most sleep I've had in one night since the start of the QUIT and it was AWESOME.
For the most part today I kept busy which kept my mind off of the rat poison but earlier I was out running errands before having to pick my kids up from their cousins. I finished the errands with quite of bit of time to kill before I had to pick my kids up- that idle time is a killer but I was prepared in that I had a bag of seeds and a fresh pack of gum with me.
I still found myself going to a store but I stared that nic bitch down and got some hot tamales and mike ikes- been a long time since I had either of those!
Keepin' the QUIT STRONG ODAAT.
Keep moving bro . The nic bitch loves a sitting target.
Over time it will get easier, I.promise you that.
This morning I got up at 6AM, played 18 holes, had a few beers on the 19th, grabbed a king sized sando from the local deli on my way home, and mowed it down by myself watching the tigers lose and some boring ass soccer for 5 hours as my wife and kids were at the in-laws.
I.couldn't have done that early in my quit. Not without going bat-shit crazy, think somehow dip would make all.of it better.
Today I did it without a thought of dip. Hell, my buddy who I shared a cart with smoked an entire pack. Another guy in our foursome was dipping and offered everyone a pinch. I didn't even bat an eye. Even after my asshole buddy said, "He quit two years ago. He knows he wants some though. You know you miss that shit, num num.num". (My buddy is a bit odd).
I just laughed and said "shut up dick. Thanks man, but I'm good".
I know I'll always be a nic fiend and I'll never be "cured" but I actually feel "normal" now.
Keep grinding days out like you did today, and you will too.
Quit on...
Yep! Stay busy, Stay quit! Thank God REAL football is around the corner cuz Soccer is BORING!
-
DAY 6 DAY 7: my first cat turd lip free weekend in a long time.
I thought the weekend would be a breeze compared to the work week. Less stress and a lot more relaxing. It was the first weekend in months that we didn't have something. And because we didn't have much going on it was going to be a nice and relaxing weekend. I was thinking how fortunate I was that I had a real chill weekend on my first quit weekend. Man was I ever WRONG- all the idle time made me have some serious craves. I had to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of the poison.
I still woke up at around 0500 but I had no headache and I was actually able to fall back asleep for 4 hours. I clocked about 9 hours of rack time. That's the most sleep I've had in one night since the start of the QUIT and it was AWESOME.
For the most part today I kept busy which kept my mind off of the rat poison but earlier I was out running errands before having to pick my kids up from their cousins. I finished the errands with quite of bit of time to kill before I had to pick my kids up- that idle time is a killer but I was prepared in that I had a bag of seeds and a fresh pack of gum with me.
I still found myself going to a store but I stared that nic bitch down and got some hot tamales and mike ikes- been a long time since I had either of those!
Keepin' the QUIT STRONG ODAAT.
Keep moving bro . The nic bitch loves a sitting target.
Over time it will get easier, I.promise you that.
This morning I got up at 6AM, played 18 holes, had a few beers on the 19th, grabbed a king sized sando from the local deli on my way home, and mowed it down by myself watching the tigers lose and some boring ass soccer for 5 hours as my wife and kids were at the in-laws.
I.couldn't have done that early in my quit. Not without going bat-shit crazy, think somehow dip would make all.of it better.
Today I did it without a thought of dip. Hell, my buddy who I shared a cart with smoked an entire pack. Another guy in our foursome was dipping and offered everyone a pinch. I didn't even bat an eye. Even after my asshole buddy said, "He quit two years ago. He knows he wants some though. You know you miss that shit, num num.num". (My buddy is a bit odd).
I just laughed and said "shut up dick. Thanks man, but I'm good".
I know I'll always be a nic fiend and I'll never be "cured" but I actually feel "normal" now.
Keep grinding days out like you did today, and you will too.
Quit on...
Yep! Stay busy, Stay quit! Thank God REAL football is around the corner cuz Soccer is BORING!
Congrats on your first weekend as a free man!
-
DAY 6 DAY 7: my first cat turd lip free weekend in a long time.
I thought the weekend would be a breeze compared to the work week. Less stress and a lot more relaxing. It was the first weekend in months that we didn't have something. And because we didn't have much going on it was going to be a nice and relaxing weekend. I was thinking how fortunate I was that I had a real chill weekend on my first quit weekend. Man was I ever WRONG- all the idle time made me have some serious craves. I had to keep busy in order to keep my mind off of the poison.
I still woke up at around 0500 but I had no headache and I was actually able to fall back asleep for 4 hours. I clocked about 9 hours of rack time. That's the most sleep I've had in one night since the start of the QUIT and it was AWESOME.
For the most part today I kept busy which kept my mind off of the rat poison but earlier I was out running errands before having to pick my kids up from their cousins. I finished the errands with quite of bit of time to kill before I had to pick my kids up- that idle time is a killer but I was prepared in that I had a bag of seeds and a fresh pack of gum with me.
I still found myself going to a store but I stared that nic bitch down and got some hot tamales and mike ikes- been a long time since I had either of those!
Keepin' the QUIT STRONG ODAAT.
Keep moving bro . The nic bitch loves a sitting target.
Over time it will get easier, I.promise you that.
This morning I got up at 6AM, played 18 holes, had a few beers on the 19th, grabbed a king sized sando from the local deli on my way home, and mowed it down by myself watching the tigers lose and some boring ass soccer for 5 hours as my wife and kids were at the in-laws.
I.couldn't have done that early in my quit. Not without going bat-shit crazy, think somehow dip would make all.of it better.
Today I did it without a thought of dip. Hell, my buddy who I shared a cart with smoked an entire pack. Another guy in our foursome was dipping and offered everyone a pinch. I didn't even bat an eye. Even after my asshole buddy said, "He quit two years ago. He knows he wants some though. You know you miss that shit, num num.num". (My buddy is a bit odd).
I just laughed and said "shut up dick. Thanks man, but I'm good".
I know I'll always be a nic fiend and I'll never be "cured" but I actually feel "normal" now.
Keep grinding days out like you did today, and you will too.
Quit on...
Yep! Stay busy, Stay quit! Thank God REAL football is around the corner cuz Soccer is BORING!
Congrats on your first weekend as a free man!
Appreciate it fellas. It was great to wake up on a Monday morning feeling good and knowing I didn't suck on poison all weekend. Two night in a row of solid sleep- feeling great today!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed. Another victory. Scoreboard, NicBitch!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
awesome awesome awesome.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
awesome awesome awesome.
Awesome shit and that's exactly what I was going to guess FMBN707 meant. I like the name, it's cool to me.
Quit on!!!
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
awesome awesome awesome.
Awesome shit and that's exactly what I was going to guess FMBN707 meant. I like the name, it's cool to me.
Quit on!!!
I figured it stood for FuckMyBowelMovement.
Good quit going here, bro.
Like the interesting new avatar, except maybe the ram part.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
awesome awesome awesome.
Awesome shit and that's exactly what I was going to guess FMBN707 meant. I like the name, it's cool to me.
Quit on!!!
I figured it stood for FuckMyBowelMovement.
Good quit going here, bro.
Like the interesting new avatar, except maybe the ram part.
Doc- for a couple of days there at the beginning it could have meant that! My stomach was really fucked up. I grew up with a Chiefs helmet but once the Rams moved to StL I had to support the home team. Still root for the Chiefs as well though.
-
Day 8: Started the morning off great- slept well, no headache and I marched my happy nic free ass into my office to post. After that it was pure crave hell damn near all day.
A little after I started working the nic bitch started working on me. Just a little crave, no big deal, ignore it and it'll go away. It didn't go away though instead it grew into a full on rage of a crave. Motherfucker. That bitch was putting up a fight. Fuck her.
At this point I really wished I had some Hooch or other fake stuff. So I got on KTC and looked up the fake shit, talked to some vets on chat about it and then found where they sold it in my area. Awesome, the closet place that had it: CIGARETTES FOR LESS. A nicotine haven. A fucking NICOTINE SUPERSTORE. Every nicotine product you could think of was in there but they also had Hooch and I needed some Hooch and I figured if I was going to cave now then I didn't have the resolve to get through this for very long.
So I walked in there, bought 5 cans of Hooch and had a lipper in before I even started the car. Not only that but I walked right into the bitches house and told her to fuck off. It feels so good to no longer be a slave to that bitch. I know she hanging around, just waiting and every continually tempting and I know it will take a thousand more crave beat downs before she gets further away but it's one step at a time.
I beat that bitch again today, on her turf and I'm gong to beat her again tomorrow.
PROUD TO BE QUIT!
Nicely done. Fireballs are a nice alternative as well, and I think smoky mountain still sends free sample to first time orders.
Way to rock it. Bad ass
Gooooo stuff.
Agreed! Bad Ass indeed! Another victory. Scoreboard,Nic Bitch!
'Cheers' 'dance' :Winner: That a boy! Quit w/you my friend! If you need anything you have my number. Don't hesitate to shoot me a text, brother.
Thanks fellas! Appreciate all of your support! Here to QUIT with you edd!
Rdad.....scoreboard, nic bitch! Love it.
Hey nic bitch, I'm a man. I'm 40. Go play intramurals, nic bitch.
It makes me want to puke!
Nice win FMBM...what the he'll does that stand for?
My name isn't cool like a lot of these names, I know. It's plain and simple and not very catchy or manly.
It's just a reminder that I QUIT ForMeByMe7(July)07(day).
I wasn't quitting because my wife, my brother, my sisters etc. wanted me to. I was quitting because I wanted to do it. I was ready and I knew I couldn't do this for someone else or to half ass it.
I love my wife and I know she has wanted me to QUIT for a long time. Had my wife (or any other relative) found KTC and shown it to me and asked me to sign up I know I would have been either too stubborn to sign-up or I would have signed up to appease them- a recipe for failure.
I QUIT because I wanted to, I QUIT because I was ready.
Monday, July 7th when I woke up I made up my mind that I was QUITTING forever.
The week prior to finding this site my wife and I had a long conversation about quitting. So I 'stopped' the week before finding KTC for a couple of days, caved, stopped again, then caved. I didn't understand what my body or mind was going through during the stoppage time. I just knew that I felt like shit and I couldn't concentrate.
I caved because I convinced myself I 'needed' some lip poison for a long drive we were going on for the 4th of July weekend, so I ninja dipped a cat turd while the wife and kids were sleeping. Convincing myself that once we make it safely to our destination I'll just stop again. So I stopped the next day again. Another day passes and I played a round of golf- who doesn't have a death dip in when they play golf? 12+ beers later and I have a fat turd in my lip right in front of my wife.
My individual attempts at quitting were always focused on quitting chewing. I've tried to QUIT using nicotine crutches: nicorette gum, a cigarette in the morning and one in the afternoon. It's almost comical now that I think about it. I threw away my can of cat turds and I bought cancer sticks! How fucking dumb is that!
Of course those attempts of quitting chewing had never worked out because I wasn't focused on the real enemy- NICOTINE. I knew I needed to find best practices, articles, blogs, whatever I could get my hands on to arm me with knowledge. There had to be other people out there that had gone down this road before me and talked about it somewhere on-line.
That's when I found KTC. I read some stuff on KTC, realized my problem wasn't just dipping rat poison, my problem was that I was addicted to nicotine. It hit me like a freight train. I'm a fucking nicotine addict. I'M A G-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NICTOTINE ADDICT! What in the FUCK! I was mad. I was embarrassed. And I was damn sure determined to beat the FUCK out of it.
I grew up in the 80s with Nancy Reagan's "Say No TO Drugs" campaign. I really never thought I would ever utter the phrase "I'm an addict". I still don't like saying it but I've accepted it. I'll do it again: Hi, my name is Steve and I'm addicted to that evil, conniving bitch ass whore nicotine and from this day forward I will no longer be her little bitchboy, I will cunt punt her and stomp on her face every fucking day.
The morning of 7/07, I liked what I read on KTC and signed up for me/by me.
I QUIT WITH YOU TODAY
That just gave me a quit boner, good post FMBM!
wow.....that was me.....a few days ago.
honored to quit with you today sir.
awesome awesome awesome.
Awesome shit and that's exactly what I was going to guess FMBN707 meant. I like the name, it's cool to me.
Quit on!!!
I figured it stood for FuckMyBowelMovement.
Good quit going here, bro.
Like the interesting new avatar, except maybe the ram part.
Doc- for a couple of days there at the beginning it could have meant that! My stomach was really fucked up. I grew up with a Chiefs helmet but once the Rams moved to StL I had to support the home team. Still root for the Chiefs as well though.
What a badass meaning behind your name! Damn, you keep getting badder and badder as the days rack up. Keep QLF my friend.
-
Days 9-13.
It's been a roller coaster: highs and lows, twist, turns and a few loops. Life can be that way from one day to the next or one situation to the next. I find myself looking back and looking forward as well as just trying to take it ODAAT.
Looking back they were LIES, ALL LIES.
It didn't matter whether the situation was good, bad or indifferent I could always find a reason to reach for that ticking time bomb in a tin can and lock in a big fat lipper of goose shit.
"Yawn. Work is pretty slow right now, great time to put a monster cat turd in my lip to get through the slow time because I know it'll get busy here shortly. Ah fuck, it's crazy busy better lock in some cancer in a can so I can get through this. Whew, those last few hours were intense a nice big pinch of poison will take the edge off".
How can one thing 'get you through' a slow time, then a busy time and then help you relax? IT CAN'T!
When you are addicted to something it doesn't take much to justify getting your fix. We have been lying to ourselves for so long to justify our nicotine abuse that there is fear associated with quitting. How can I work, golf, drive, mow, play, shop, clean, shit, sleep, drink, live, breathe without this poison coursing through my veins? YOU CAN!
It's amazing just how gullible I was to the nic bitch and her evil ways. Looking back to when I abused nicotine, I found myself justifying why I 'needed' it or why it was OK that I was putting poison in my lip. I would tell myself damn near anything as long as it convinced me to reach for the cancer can knowing full well it wasn't good for me. For years I ignored that voice in my head. The one saying "You really shouldn't be doing this" "You know that can cause cancer" "You've got a wife and kids" "Is it really worth the risk" "You are a fucking moron" There were times I really didn't even want a dip but I found myself pinching some poison to put in my raw and torn up lip to 'get through' whatever was going on. "Fuck I don't even want a dip right now, but it'll help me get this through this long drive so I better lock one in" SERIOUSLY!?!?!? It'll help? NO IT WON'T you fucking idiot! Better! I used a verb that means to approve upon to rationalize putting that shit in my mouth! That's how irrational an addict can be.
THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST.
"You got to reverse it. DonÂ’t be pussy-whipped, whip that pussy. Like this here, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang." Mr. Jackson, Boomerang
Now that I fucked my body and mind up with a nasty addiction to nicotine- that I have QUIT- I find myself doing the reverse of what I use to do. Now I'm having to justify why I'm not putting poison in my body. Thank about that! I'm reasoning with myself on why I don't need it. I'm convincing myself I don't need that shit to work, to play golf, to mow the lawn, to drive a fucking car. I don't need that shit period. I've known that truth all along but I choose to ignore it because believing the truth wasn't conducive to appeasing the addiction. So now I'm reversing that and working at it every damn day, rewiring my brain so it knows I can function without that shit even though for years I convinced myself otherwise.
LOOKING FORWARD
I fully believe in ODAAT mantra. It's helpful in keeping perspective. FOREVER can seem daunting, so ODAAT works to relieve the burden of forever. My goal is to stay QUIT and to stay QUIT for the next five minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years, 5 decades. In order for me to do that it helps to visual the long term benefits of staying QUIT today. It reinforces why I'm doing this right now (ODAAT)- it's because there are long term benefits and transversely long term consequences if I don't stay QUIT. It helps to show me why it's so important to make it through today. I'm not going to put poison in my lip today because I want to see my girls' faces on Christmas morning, I want to see them blow out their candles on their birthdays, I want to watch them as they grow up into young women,I want to be there when they need their dad, I want to walk my daughters down the aisle at their weddings, I want to hold grandchildren some day. I want to be there for them every damn day and the only way I can do that is by staying QUIT ODAAT. Thinking about all of those things is helping to keep my commitment of QUIT strong.
It's a choice to use or to not use nicotine. I made the wrong choice multiple times a day and for so many years that it feels really good to make the right choice every day and sometimes multiple times a day.
No matter what is going on in my life I still have a choice. I can either choose to use nicotine or choose not to use it. I know the right answer, I've always known the right answer.
I QUIT the nic. I QUIT YESTERDAY, I QUIT TODAY AND WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW I'M GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.
-
Days 9-13.
It's been a roller coaster: highs and lows, twist, turns and a few loops. Life can be that way from one day to the next or one situation to the next. I find myself looking back and looking forward as well as just trying to take it ODAAT.
Looking back they were LIES, ALL LIES.
It didn't matter whether the situation was good, bad or indifferent I could always find a reason to reach for that ticking time bomb in a tin and lock in a big fat lipper goose shit.
"Yawn. Work is pretty slow right now, great time to put a monster cat turd in my lip to get through the slow time because I know it'll get busy here shortly. Ah fuck, it's crazy busy better lock in some cancer in a can so I can get through this. Whew, those last few hours were intense a nice big pinch of poison will take the edge off".
How can one thing 'get you through' a slow time, then a busy time and then help you relax? IT CAN'T!
When you are addicted to something it doesn't take much to justify getting your fix. We have been lying to ourselves for so long to justify our nicotine abuse that there is fear associated with quitting. How can I work, golf, drive, mow, play, shop, clean, shit, sleep, drink, live, breathe without this poison coursing through my veins? YOU CAN!
It's amazing just how gullible I was to the nic bitch and her evil ways. Looking back to when I abused nicotine, I found myself justifying why I 'needed' it or why it was OK that I was putting poison in my lip. I would tell myself damn near anything as long as it convinced me to reach for the cancer can knowing full well it wasn't good for me. For years I ignored that voice in my head. The one saying "You really shouldn't be doing this" "You know that can cause cancer" "You've got a wife and kids" "Is it really worth the risk" "You are a fucking moron" There were times I really didn't even want a dip but I found myself pinching some poison to put in my raw and torn up lip to 'get through' whatever was going on. "Fuck I don't even want a dip right now, but it'll help me get this through this long drive so I better lock one in" SERIOUSLY!?!?!? It'll help? NO IT WON'T you fucking idiot! Better! I used a verb that means to approve upon to rationalize putting that shit in my mouth! That's how irrational an addict can be.
THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST.
"You got to reverse it. DonÂ’t be pussy-whipped, whip that pussy. Like this here, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang." Mr. Jackson, Boomerang
Now that I fucked my body and mind up with a nasty addiction to nicotine- that I have QUIT- I find myself doing the reverse of what I use to do. Now I'm having to justify why I'm not putting poison in my body. Thank about that! I'm reasoning with myself on why I don't need it. I'm convincing myself I don't need that shit to work, to play golf, to mow the lawn, to drive a fucking car. I don't need that shit period. I've known that truth all along but I choose to ignore it because believing the truth wasn't conducive to appeasing the addiction. So now I'm reversing that and working at it every damn day, rewiring my brain so it knows I can function without that shit even though for years I convinced myself otherwise.
LOOKING FORWARD
I fully believe in ODAAT mantra. It's helpful in keeping perspective. FOREVER can seem daunting, so ODAAT works to relieve the burden of forever. My goal is to stay QUIT and to stay QUIT for the next five minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years, 5 decades. In order for me to do that it helps to visual the long term benefits of staying QUIT today. It reinforces why I'm doing this right now (ODAAT)- it's because there are long term benefits and transversely long term consequences if I don't stay QUIT. It helps to show me why it's so important to make it through today. I'm not going to put poison in my lip today because I want to see my girls' faces on Christmas morning, I want to see them blow out their candles on their birthdays, I want to watch them as they grow up into young women,I want to be there when they need their dad, I want to walk my daughters down the aisle at their weddings, I want to hold grandchildren some day. I want to be there for them every damn day and the only way I can do that is by staying QUIT ODAAT. Thinking about all of those things is helping to keep my commitment of QUIT strong.
It's a choice to use or to not use nicotine. I made the wrong choice multiple times a day and for so many years that it feels really good to make the right choice every day and sometimes multiple times a day.
No matter what is going on in my life I still have a choice. I can either choose to use nicotine or choose not to use it. I know the right answer, I've always known the right answer.
I QUIT the nic. I QUIT YESTERDAY, I QUIT TODAY AND WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW I'M GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.
Great post fmb.
-
Closing out Day 16.
It feels really fucking good to be QUIT. Waking up every morning QUIT is just a great feeling. I fucking love it. I love it because I didn't let myself, my wife , my kids or the great folks here at KTC down.
I wake up with a damn smile on my face knowing I get the opportunity to kick the fuck out of the nic bitch again because I owe her a shit ton of ass kickings.
Most days have their challenges but I look forward to facing those challenges without being deranged enough to think that I need a pinch of poison to make it through those challenges. I really can't believe I use to say shit like, "Better lock one in because..." It sounds so fucking stupid now. Fuck that just pisses me off now. Just stupid.
Some days the craves are worse than others but that shit is going to happen. It sucks but it can be handled. The sense of freedom when I go an hour or two without thinking about it or when I start and complete a task without even thinking about putting a dip of death in my lip is just fucking FANTASTIC.
This site can't make anyone QUIT. That's a decision you have to make every day. This site sure is useful for the ones that want to stay QUIT. I have no doubt my QUIT, 16 days young, is stronger than it ever would have been on my own. I feel better armed to combat the nic bitch. The information on this site, along with the support, provides an immense level of confidence that a QUIT can be achieved every damn day by doing it one day at a time.
Drink the KTC kool-aid, follow the process, get involved, listen, read and grab onto those ideas that will help your QUIT. Not every suggestion on here is going to help your QUIT- take what helps you but also get involved and give back- I promise giving back will help keep your QUIT strong. Read about successes and failures. Ask questions, answer questions, reach out to newbies and the guys that have been there. You can learn from both.
I'm happy to QUIT with anyone and everyone that wants to stay QUIT.
QLF EDD ODAAT then do it again.
The next time I'll have worm dirt in my lip is the day they bury me.
-
Day 17: Reminder to self how fucked up this addiction shit really is.
"Fuck it. I'm just going to grab a monster dip on the way home"
This was a subconscious response to a frustrating personal situation today. I was actually mapping out in my mind where I was going to buy a can of cancer. I was having a day dream about a death dip. I quickly snapped out of it, told the nic bitch to eat a big fat donkey dick and I got on in dealing with the situation like a normal person instead of using the situation as an excuse to feed my addiction.
It was pretty disappointing that I had that thought. I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. THAT IS JUST SO TRUE.
-
Day 17: Reminder to self how fucked up this addiction shit really is.
"Fuck it. I'm just going to grab a monster dip on the way home"
This was a subconscious response to a frustrating personal situation today. I was actually mapping out in my mind where I was going to buy a can of cancer. I was having a day dream about a death dip. I quickly snapped out of it, told the nic bitch to eat a big fat donkey dick and I got on in dealing with the situation like a normal person instead of using the situation as an excuse to feed my addiction.
It was pretty disappointing that I had that thought. I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. THAT IS JUST SO TRUE.
great post bro.....great job winning the fight too. proud of you man.
-
You make me wanna beat that bitch down bad too!!!
Good work!
-
Day 17: Reminder to self how fucked up this addiction shit really is.
"Fuck it. I'm just going to grab a monster dip on the way home"
This was a subconscious response to a frustrating personal situation today. I was actually mapping out in my mind where I was going to buy a can of cancer. I was having a day dream about a death dip. I quickly snapped out of it, told the nic bitch to eat a big fat donkey dick and I got on in dealing with the situation like a normal person instead of using the situation as an excuse to feed my addiction.
It was pretty disappointing that I had that thought. I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. THAT IS JUST SO TRUE.
This is when the the real quitters are separated from the panzy cavers. Moments like you had today demonstrate your determination and drive. Remember a crave like today will go away after a while. I can tell you've been reading and keeping your arsenal ready. Good job! Good things are coming bro. Believe it! You won today, no reason you won't tomorrow. Proud of you fmb.
It will get easier before you know it brian.
-
Day 17: Reminder to self how fucked up this addiction shit really is.
"Fuck it. I'm just going to grab a monster dip on the way home"
This was a subconscious response to a frustrating personal situation today. I was actually mapping out in my mind where I was going to buy a can of cancer. I was having a day dream about a death dip. I quickly snapped out of it, told the nic bitch to eat a big fat donkey dick and I got on in dealing with the situation like a normal person instead of using the situation as an excuse to feed my addiction.
It was pretty disappointing that I had that thought. I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. THAT IS JUST SO TRUE.
This is when the the real quitters are separated from the panzy cavers. Moments like you had today demonstrate your determination and drive. Remember a crave like today will go away after a while. I can tell you've been reading and keeping your arsenal ready. Good job! Good things are coming bro. Believe it! You won today, no reason you won't tomorrow. Proud of you fmb.
It will get easier before you know it brian.
Appreciate all the support fellas. Quit Like Fuck and Beat that Bitch Every Damn Day! Great to be QUIT with all of you!
-
DAY 29: Just over 4 weeks into the QUIT.
Got back from an 8 day vacation with the family to Hilton Head Island, SC. It was a great vacation, drove 1066 miles there and back without a death dip. Felt like I conquered a monster with that. It's been years and years since I've driven any sort of distance without a cat turd.
When I first started my QUIT on July 7th I knew we were heading to HHI, SC in late July and I was really worried about driving without a death dip but as I learned from KTC you just have to take it one day at a time and that I should focus on today and not something that is going to happen down the road. So I concentrated on each day and as my QUIT got stronger I started looking ahead because I knew I needed to prepare for situations as they arose and for situation that I knew were in front of me. I made sure I had 5 cans of fake ready for the trip, a few bags of seeds, a couple of packs of gum, and even a can of shredded beef jerky (which is surprisingly really good).
The other thing is as the days approached our trip I became more resilient and confident that no matter the situation I can beat that nic bitch, mainly because I don't put that shit in my mouth anymore. It's not a solution and therefore not an option. In the 3 weeks leading up to the long drive I had conquered many triggers and successfully completed many tasks without nicotine, tasks that normally I would have locked in some cancer. I didn't ignore triggers, I faced them. You can't hide from them, you can pick when you want to conquer some of them, but you are going to have to eventually face them.
It felt really fucking good to get over the 'long drive' without a death dip hurdle. It started the vacation off right and it ended the vacation right. It was also really cool that the wife recognized this small but important feat and wrote me a card to tell me how proud she is of my quit- she even knew it was my 4 week mark.
On vacation I only had one strong crave and it was for a cigarette. I use to enjoy a cigarette every once in awhile but I realize now that due to my addiction it just isn't something I can ever do again and really I don't even want to- it's pretty fucking gross. I kindly removed myself from the situation and returned when my buddy was finished smoking. Later in the week he was smoking again but knew I had quit nicotine and he stepped away from me when he lit up. It was great waking up without that nasty taste and smoker's breath.
After a strong QUIT of a vacation I got back to work today to a major crave. It hit like a freight train. Work has always been when I locked in cat turds- all fucking day- and I have to work. This is just something that needs to be dealt with EDD and I have to realize that every day I beat it, the next time it should be easier- the problem is I haven't had this strong of a crave for a few weeks. I dealt with it though because I don't do that shit anymore. Since it's not a solution it's not an option.
29 days without the nic. Everyday feels great to be QUIT.
-
DAY 29: Just over 4 weeks into the QUIT.
Got back from an 8 day vacation with the family to Hilton Head Island, SC. It was a great vacation, drove 1066 miles there and back without a death dip. Felt like I conquered a monster with that. It's been years and years since I've driven any sort of distance without a cat turd.
When I first started my QUIT on July 7th I knew we were heading to HHI, SC in late July and I was really worried about driving without a death dip but as I learned from KTC you just have to take it one day at a time and that I should focus on today and not something that is going to happen down the road. So I concentrated on each day and as my QUIT got stronger I started looking ahead because I knew I needed to prepare for situations as they arose and for situation that I knew were in front of me. I made sure I had 5 cans of fake ready for the trip, a few bags of seeds, a couple of packs of gum, and even a can of shredded beef jerky (which is surprisingly really good).
The other thing is as the days approached our trip I became more resilient and confident that no matter the situation I can beat that nic bitch, mainly because I don't put that shit in my mouth anymore. It's not a solution and therefore not an option. In the 3 weeks leading up to the long drive I had conquered many triggers and successfully completed many tasks without nicotine, tasks that normally I would have locked in some cancer. I didn't ignore triggers, I faced them. You can't hide from them, you can pick when you want to conquer some of them, but you are going to have to eventually face them.
It felt really fucking good to get over the 'long drive' without a death dip hurdle. It started the vacation off right and it ended the vacation right. It was also really cool that the wife recognized this small but important feat and wrote me a card to tell me how proud she is of my quit- she even knew it was my 4 week mark.
On vacation I only had one strong crave and it was for a cigarette. I use to enjoy a cigarette every once in awhile but I realize now that due to my addiction it just isn't something I can ever do again and really I don't even want to- it's pretty fucking gross. I kindly removed myself from the situation and returned when my buddy was finished smoking. Later in the week he was smoking again but knew I had quit nicotine and he stepped away from me when he lit up. It was great waking up without that nasty taste and smoker's breath.
After a strong QUIT of a vacation I got back to work today to a major crave. It hit like a freight train. Work has always been when I locked in cat turds- all fucking day- and I have to work. This is just something that needs to be dealt with EDD and I have to realize that every day I beat it, the next time it should be easier- the problem is I haven't had this strong of a crave for a few weeks. I dealt with it though because I don't do that shit anymore. Since it's not a solution it's not an option.
29 days without the nic. Everyday feels great to be QUIT.
Right on Bro!! That's strong. Proud to be quitting with you!!
-
DAY 29: Just over 4 weeks into the QUIT.
Got back from an 8 day vacation with the family to Hilton Head Island, SC. It was a great vacation, drove 1066 miles there and back without a death dip. Felt like I conquered a monster with that. It's been years and years since I've driven any sort of distance without a cat turd.
When I first started my QUIT on July 7th I knew we were heading to HHI, SC in late July and I was really worried about driving without a death dip but as I learned from KTC you just have to take it one day at a time and that I should focus on today and not something that is going to happen down the road. So I concentrated on each day and as my QUIT got stronger I started looking ahead because I knew I needed to prepare for situations as they arose and for situation that I knew were in front of me. I made sure I had 5 cans of fake ready for the trip, a few bags of seeds, a couple of packs of gum, and even a can of shredded beef jerky (which is surprisingly really good).
The other thing is as the days approached our trip I became more resilient and confident that no matter the situation I can beat that nic bitch, mainly because I don't put that shit in my mouth anymore. It's not a solution and therefore not an option. In the 3 weeks leading up to the long drive I had conquered many triggers and successfully completed many tasks without nicotine, tasks that normally I would have locked in some cancer. I didn't ignore triggers, I faced them. You can't hide from them, you can pick when you want to conquer some of them, but you are going to have to eventually face them.
It felt really fucking good to get over the 'long drive' without a death dip hurdle. It started the vacation off right and it ended the vacation right. It was also really cool that the wife recognized this small but important feat and wrote me a card to tell me how proud she is of my quit- she even knew it was my 4 week mark.
On vacation I only had one strong crave and it was for a cigarette. I use to enjoy a cigarette every once in awhile but I realize now that due to my addiction it just isn't something I can ever do again and really I don't even want to- it's pretty fucking gross. I kindly removed myself from the situation and returned when my buddy was finished smoking. Later in the week he was smoking again but knew I had quit nicotine and he stepped away from me when he lit up. It was great waking up without that nasty taste and smoker's breath.
After a strong QUIT of a vacation I got back to work today to a major crave. It hit like a freight train. Work has always been when I locked in cat turds- all fucking day- and I have to work. This is just something that needs to be dealt with EDD and I have to realize that every day I beat it, the next time it should be easier- the problem is I haven't had this strong of a crave for a few weeks. I dealt with it though because I don't do that shit anymore. Since it's not a solution it's not an option.
29 days without the nic. Everyday feels great to be QUIT.
Right on Bro!! That's strong. Proud to be quitting with you!!
Keep fighting the good fight brother!
-
DAY 29: Just over 4 weeks into the QUIT.
Got back from an 8 day vacation with the family to Hilton Head Island, SC. It was a great vacation, drove 1066 miles there and back without a death dip. Felt like I conquered a monster with that. It's been years and years since I've driven any sort of distance without a cat turd.
When I first started my QUIT on July 7th I knew we were heading to HHI, SC in late July and I was really worried about driving without a death dip but as I learned from KTC you just have to take it one day at a time and that I should focus on today and not something that is going to happen down the road. So I concentrated on each day and as my QUIT got stronger I started looking ahead because I knew I needed to prepare for situations as they arose and for situation that I knew were in front of me. I made sure I had 5 cans of fake ready for the trip, a few bags of seeds, a couple of packs of gum, and even a can of shredded beef jerky (which is surprisingly really good).
The other thing is as the days approached our trip I became more resilient and confident that no matter the situation I can beat that nic bitch, mainly because I don't put that shit in my mouth anymore. It's not a solution and therefore not an option. In the 3 weeks leading up to the long drive I had conquered many triggers and successfully completed many tasks without nicotine, tasks that normally I would have locked in some cancer. I didn't ignore triggers, I faced them. You can't hide from them, you can pick when you want to conquer some of them, but you are going to have to eventually face them.
It felt really fucking good to get over the 'long drive' without a death dip hurdle. It started the vacation off right and it ended the vacation right. It was also really cool that the wife recognized this small but important feat and wrote me a card to tell me how proud she is of my quit- she even knew it was my 4 week mark.
On vacation I only had one strong crave and it was for a cigarette. I use to enjoy a cigarette every once in awhile but I realize now that due to my addiction it just isn't something I can ever do again and really I don't even want to- it's pretty fucking gross. I kindly removed myself from the situation and returned when my buddy was finished smoking. Later in the week he was smoking again but knew I had quit nicotine and he stepped away from me when he lit up. It was great waking up without that nasty taste and smoker's breath.
After a strong QUIT of a vacation I got back to work today to a major crave. It hit like a freight train. Work has always been when I locked in cat turds- all fucking day- and I have to work. This is just something that needs to be dealt with EDD and I have to realize that every day I beat it, the next time it should be easier- the problem is I haven't had this strong of a crave for a few weeks. I dealt with it though because I don't do that shit anymore. Since it's not a solution it's not an option.
29 days without the nic. Everyday feels great to be QUIT.
Proud of you ... keep it up, you've got her (Nic Bitch) in the corner against the ropes. Keep working the body brother ... the time for the haymaker will come.
-
Day 17: Reminder to self how fucked up this addiction shit really is.
"Fuck it. I'm just going to grab a monster dip on the way home"
This was a subconscious response to a frustrating personal situation today. I was actually mapping out in my mind where I was going to buy a can of cancer. I was having a day dream about a death dip. I quickly snapped out of it, told the nic bitch to eat a big fat donkey dick and I got on in dealing with the situation like a normal person instead of using the situation as an excuse to feed my addiction.
It was pretty disappointing that I had that thought. I'm sure it won't be the last time.
Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. THAT IS JUST SO TRUE.
great post bro.....great job winning the fight too. proud of you man.
great realization.
we all get those thoughts, and it is great that you realized it and shook it off. remember that as it is another tool for you.
well done
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
Couldn't agree more. Proud to be quit with you, brother!
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
I'm proud to be QUIT with you! I really enjoy reading and watching as your QUIT evolves and strengthens.
ODAAT
Tom
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
I'm proud to be QUIT with you! I really enjoy reading and watching as your QUIT evolves and strengthens.
ODAAT
Tom
Proud as fuck to be QUIT with all the serious badass QUITTERS! Love hearing and reading the insight from all of you. A QUIT is worth fighting for and earning ODAAT EDD.
-
There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
Couldn't agree more. Proud to be quit with you, brother!
Proud to be QUIT with you Snot! Keep up the good fight EDD.
-
Day 30 Fuck yes!
Day 28 was great because it marked 4 weeks. Day 30 sounds like a month to me- which is awesome but every day quit is awesome.
Keeping track of the number of days is beneficial in the sense that it motivates a person to keep adding to those days, it helps people see where someone is in their quit and gives them the opportunity to tailor their support/message to fit what that person maybe going through at that time in their quit and it gives some validity to a person. The one constant is we are all addicts and we are all 1 dumb decision away from being a beat down, weak-minded nic bitch slave.
There was a lot of talk about being comfortable on the site yesterday with Jeep not posting, other guys deciding they didn't feel the need to post anymore because the site made them think of the nic bitch and some Sheriff dude caving after 200+ days. And there was a lot of opinions on Christke1982 having to answer the 3 questions.
Every society has laws. KTC is a society of QUITTERS. What is the basic principles of having laws? It's to protect people from harm. Harm by others (serial cavers) and/or self-harm. The rule here at KTC is that if you cave and come back you must answer the 3 questions openly, honestly and with humility. This is done to protect all the QUITTERS and to help that individual from harming themselves again.
It's you against that evil bitch everyday. And it's hard to fight something alone everyday without someone there to recognize your victories or help you when you struggle. And it's easier to build something (like a solid quit) if you have the instructions (the process).
If you've been involved in this site at all, you would have seen in the last 30 days numerous people crawling back in here after a cave posting day 1s. What did they all have in common? They didn't follow the process, they didn't buy into the rules of posting, they thought they were smarter than the system. They didn't need this, yet they come back to it.
Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT? Are you willing to swallow a bit of your pride and admit you need help?
Give your word everyday that you are going to stay QUIT and then doing it again. It's not always easy but ODAAT makes it manageable. Although being nic free forever is the ultimate goal, forever seems daunting. Make it through today, make it through today, make it through today- if you can manage to make it through today the weeks, the months, the.... will start to add up. The only thing I can't go without for a day is air.
I did have my first wicked nic nightmare last night. I think all the talk about being comfortable yesterday was why I had it- like a further wake up call that you can't become complacent. Sure it might get easier as the days go by but it's one bad choice that'll have you stuffing your face with that poison again. I dreamt that I was hanging out and drinking some beers and decided it was OK to have a cigarette. "I'm dip free, what's one cigarette? It's not the same as dip so it's no big deal" And there I was hanging out outside my garage taking a monster drag on a cancer stick because I rationalized that it was OK because it wasn't dip. I've been so focused on being death dip free that in my dreams I rationalized that a cigarette was OK. That's why that nic bitch is so sneaky- she knows it only takes one "slip up". I was disgusted with myself. It felt so real that I didn't want to wake up because it meant I broke my promise to myself, my wife, my kids and to all at KTC. It was truly an awful feeling. It was also a lesson learned because I use to smoke when I drink and this made me realize that I also have to really think more about being nic free and not just death dip free. I also need to start a planning for those times I'm hanging out with my buddies who smoke.
Yesterday was brutal catching up at work from being away on vacation which prompted my strongest craves in the past two weeks. I'm still not caught up and I know today is going to get very busy. And realizing that I'm going to tackle today nic free just like I did yesterday sounds a lot better than the alternative.
Waking up nic free is always a great feeling. So I QUIT again today because all it takes is one damn day at a time, every damn day. Doing it this way I don't have to worry about the number of days because I know doing it ODAAT the number of days QUIT will take care of themselves.
The goal today is being nic free today.
-
Day 30 Fuck yes!
Day 28 was great because it marked 4 weeks. Day 30 sounds like a month to me- which is awesome but every day quit is awesome.
Keeping track of the number of days is beneficial in the sense that it motivates a person to keep adding to those days, it helps people see where someone is in their quit and gives them the opportunity to tailor their support/message to fit what that person maybe going through at that time in their quit and it gives some validity to a person. The one constant is we are all addicts and we are all 1 dumb decision away from being a beat down, weak-minded nic bitch slave.
Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT?
There was a lot of talk about being comfortable on the site yesterday with Jeep not posting, other guys deciding they didn't feel the need to post anymore because the site made them think of the nic bitch and some Sheriff dude caving after 200+ days. And there was a lot of opinions on Christke1982 having to answer the 3 questions.
Every society has laws. KTC is a society of QUITTERS. What is the basic principles of having laws? It's to protect people from harm. Harm by others (serial cavers) and/or self-harm. The rule here at KTC is that if you cave and come back you must answer the 3 questions openly, honestly and with humility. This is done to protect all the QUITTERS and to help that individual from harming themselves again.
It's you against that evil bitch everyday. And it's hard to fight something alone everyday without someone there to recognize your victories or help you when you struggle. And it's easier to build something (like a solid quit) if you have the instructions (the process).
If you've been involved in this site at all, you would have seen in the last 30 days numerous people crawling back in here after a cave posting day 1s. What did they all have in common? They didn't follow the process, they didn't buy into the rules of posting, they thought they were smarter than the system. They didn't need this, yet they come back to it.
Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT? Are you willing to swallow a bit of your pride and admit you need help?
Give your word everyday that you are going to stay QUIT and then doing it again. It's not always easy but ODAAT makes it manageable. Although being nic free forever is the ultimate goal, forever seems daunting. Make it through today, make it through today, make it through today- if you can manage to make it through today the weeks, the months, the.... will start to add up. The only thing I can't go without for a day is air.
I did have my first wicked nic nightmare last night. I think all the talk about being comfortable yesterday was why I had it- like a further wake up call that you can't become complacent. Sure it might get easier as the days go by but it's one bad choice that'll have you stuffing your face with that poison again. I dreamt that I was hanging out and drinking some beers and decided it was OK to have a cigarette. "I'm dip free, what's one cigarette? It's not the same as dip so it's no big deal" And there I was hanging out outside my garage taking a monster drag on a cancer stick because I rationalized that it was OK because it wasn't dip. I've been so focused on being death dip free that in my dreams I rationalized that a cigarette was OK. That's why that nic bitch is so sneaky- she knows it only takes one "slip up". I was disgusted with myself. It felt so real that I didn't want to wake up because it meant I broke my promise to myself, my wife, my kids and to all at KTC. It was truly an awful feeling. It was also a lesson learned because I use to smoke when I drink and this made me realize that I also have to really think more about being nic free and not just death dip free. I also need to start a planning for those times I'm hanging out with my buddies who smoke.
Yesterday was brutal catching up at work from being away on vacation which prompted my strongest craves in the past two weeks. I'm still not caught up and I know today is going to get very busy. And realizing that I'm going to tackle today nic free just like I did yesterday sounds a lot better than the alternative.
Waking up nic free is always a great feeling. So I QUIT again today because all it takes is one damn day at a time, every damn day. Doing it this way I don't have to worry about the number of days because I know doing it ODAAT the number of days QUIT will take care of themselves.
The goal today is being nic free today.
I really appreciate your quit FMBM707 ... it makes mine stronger, and I'm sure others who read it as well. Keep your hands up/chin down and keep fighting, I'll quit with you every and any damn day!
-
Day 30 Fuck yes!
Day 28 was great because it marked 4 weeks. Day 30 sounds like a month to me- which is awesome but every day quit is awesome.
Keeping track of the number of days is beneficial in the sense that it motivates a person to keep adding to those days, it helps people see where someone is in their quit and gives them the opportunity to tailor their support/message to fit what that person maybe going through at that time in their quit and it gives some validity to a person. The one constant is we are all addicts and we are all 1 dumb decision away from being a beat down, weak-minded nic bitch slave.
Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT?
There was a lot of talk about being comfortable on the site yesterday with Jeep not posting, other guys deciding they didn't feel the need to post anymore because the site made them think of the nic bitch and some Sheriff dude caving after 200+ days. And there was a lot of opinions on Christke1982 having to answer the 3 questions.
Every society has laws. KTC is a society of QUITTERS. What is the basic principles of having laws? It's to protect people from harm. Harm by others (serial cavers) and/or self-harm. The rule here at KTC is that if you cave and come back you must answer the 3 questions openly, honestly and with humility. This is done to protect all the QUITTERS and to help that individual from harming themselves again.
It's you against that evil bitch everyday. And it's hard to fight something alone everyday without someone there to recognize your victories or help you when you struggle. And it's easier to build something (like a solid quit) if you have the instructions (the process).
If you've been involved in this site at all, you would have seen in the last 30 days numerous people crawling back in here after a cave posting day 1s. What did they all have in common? They didn't follow the process, they didn't buy into the rules of posting, they thought they were smarter than the system. They didn't need this, yet they come back to it.
Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT? Are you willing to swallow a bit of your pride and admit you need help?
Give your word everyday that you are going to stay QUIT and then doing it again. It's not always easy but ODAAT makes it manageable. Although being nic free forever is the ultimate goal, forever seems daunting. Make it through today, make it through today, make it through today- if you can manage to make it through today the weeks, the months, the.... will start to add up. The only thing I can't go without for a day is air.
I did have my first wicked nic nightmare last night. I think all the talk about being comfortable yesterday was why I had it- like a further wake up call that you can't become complacent. Sure it might get easier as the days go by but it's one bad choice that'll have you stuffing your face with that poison again. I dreamt that I was hanging out and drinking some beers and decided it was OK to have a cigarette. "I'm dip free, what's one cigarette? It's not the same as dip so it's no big deal" And there I was hanging out outside my garage taking a monster drag on a cancer stick because I rationalized that it was OK because it wasn't dip. I've been so focused on being death dip free that in my dreams I rationalized that a cigarette was OK. That's why that nic bitch is so sneaky- she knows it only takes one "slip up". I was disgusted with myself. It felt so real that I didn't want to wake up because it meant I broke my promise to myself, my wife, my kids and to all at KTC. It was truly an awful feeling. It was also a lesson learned because I use to smoke when I drink and this made me realize that I also have to really think more about being nic free and not just death dip free. I also need to start a planning for those times I'm hanging out with my buddies who smoke.
Yesterday was brutal catching up at work from being away on vacation which prompted my strongest craves in the past two weeks. I'm still not caught up and I know today is going to get very busy. And realizing that I'm going to tackle today nic free just like I did yesterday sounds a lot better than the alternative.
Waking up nic free is always a great feeling. So I QUIT again today because all it takes is one damn day at a time, every damn day. Doing it this way I don't have to worry about the number of days because I know doing it ODAAT the number of days QUIT will take care of themselves.
The goal today is being nic free today.
I really appreciate your quit FMBM707 ... it makes mine stronger, and I'm sure others who read it as well. Keep your hands up/chin down and keep fighting, I'll quit with you every and any damn day!
Appreciate it Smeds! I'll QUIT with you EDD!
-
Dirty 30 for FMBM707!
I like your approach and your mindset. Fact is, people are going to cave. That's not an excuse, it's the first rule of addiction.
If you make the conscious decision to cave, then you need to be prepared mentally and emotionally to accept and embrace the tide of hard truths headed your way. Accept them, process them, be accountable to them, and then move forward. It's the only way.
-
Had to put this in my intro so I knew where to find it and I could re-read it when needed. Made my own notes
This was authored and posted by Eric71
QUOTE (Eric71 @ Dec 4, 2012, 4:16 pm)
Day 162:
Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage. I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip. Did I want to give up on my marriage? (haven't had that feeling yet in 11 years of marriage) Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another? If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. (i am blessed to have an amazing wife in so many ways)
What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak. That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish. That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of. That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me. That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness.
That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit (or anything worthwhile). There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't. There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't. There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is. There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do. There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there. There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone.
Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer. The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses. We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves, look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.
-
Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!
My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.
It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.
I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!
FUCK!
-
Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!
My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.
It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.
I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!
FUCK!
You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.
Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.
-
Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!
My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.
It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.
I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!
FUCK!
You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.
Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.
No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.
-
Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!
My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.
It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.
I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!
FUCK!
You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.
Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.
No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.
You can close deals during this period of adjustment. Time management is the key. Figure out what's the most important tasks work wise (closing deals) and prioritize whatever energy you have toward that. The rest is noise. Leverage any support personnel you may have to the fullest. Get the small shit off your plate. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus your energy on getting signatures.
After you get through this low concentration period you will come back like a fine tuned selling machine. Keep pushing brother.
-
Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!
My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.
It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.
I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!
FUCK!
You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.
Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.
No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.
You can close deals during this period of adjustment. Time management is the key. Figure out what's the most important tasks work wise (closing deals) and prioritize whatever energy you have toward that. The rest is noise. Leverage any support personnel you may have to the fullest. Get the small shit off your plate. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus your energy on getting signatures.
After you get through this low concentration period you will come back like a fine tuned selling machine. Keep pushing brother.
Thanks Grizzly! I needed that. Back to work! It's all relative right? The guys between 2-7 days have a much thicker fog and less concentration going on- I know I did. Just going through a little phase/ haze of it now. Just like quitting I have to take this pile of work and emails one at a time (by priority).
-
Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.
Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.
Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.
When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?
Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.
I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.
Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.
I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?
What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.
If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.
No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.
-
Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.
Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.
Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.
When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?
Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.
I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.
Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.
I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?
What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.
If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.
No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.
You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.
-
Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.
Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.
Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.
When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?
Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.
I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.
Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.
I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?
What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.
If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.
No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.
You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.
That shit would weigh heavy on all of us, but to me the most meaningful thing you wrote is to remember how you feel when you get cleared by the doc. That is one big fucking quit tool for your toolbox.
-
Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.
Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.
Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.
When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?
Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.
I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.
Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.
I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?
What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.
If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.
No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.
You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.
That shit would weigh heavy on all of us, but to me the most meaningful thing you wrote is to remember how you feel when you get cleared by the doc. That is one big fucking quit tool for your toolbox.
Hang tough bro. Most likely all will be good, but like you said don't ever forget this feeling. Its a small taste of a world of hurt than none of us want to experience.
Keep us updated on your progress. You need anything, hit me up any time.
Quit on...
-
Day 35:
Give your word and honor your word
1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems
One day at a time (ODAAT)
Quick Like Fuck (QLF)
Every damn Day (EDD)
NO EXCUSE EVER.
5 weeks. 35 days. 840 hours. 50400 minutes. These 5 weeks have gone by fast. One day at a time adds up. Facing triggers and beating them helps to build a solid foundation of quit because you can't plan for all the triggers so facing and beating the ones you can plan for help to conquer the unplanned triggers when they arise.
Before there was always a reason/ excuse to put poison in my lip. Work, round of golf, softball, mowing the lawn, doing stuff around the house, driving, drinking, financial problems etc. Name it and it sounded like a reason I should put shit in my lip.
As I sit here reflecting 5 weeks after making the second best decision of my life- QUITTING- I am still facing all of those things I use to do with a death dip in. I still play golf and softball. I still work, mow the lawn, drive etc. And I do it all without packing some cancer in a can into my lip. I enjoy the freedom from the shit. I enjoy making overall better decisions just because I'm QUIT. I use to find excuses/reasons to feed my addiction, now I don't. I spend more time with my family. I use to seek out opportunities to stuff my lip with poison, now there are times I don't even think about it.
I sat here on a Sunday morning today and needed to go through some financial stuff, which over the last few years hasn't been exactly pleasant and it was always a prime time death dip time. The urge was STRONG but my desire to stay QUIT was stronger because this site, because of the folks in October, because of Kakoa, because of LIVE CHAT because I want to stay QUIT.
GET INVOLVED:
I'm not sure giving your word then honoring your word to a bunch of strangers is very effective for most people. And in the past 35 days I've seen a lot of guys go MIA or cave. For the most part these are guys that post roll (or don't edd) and run. You don't see them on Kakoa, they don't respond to PMs from other QUITTERS, they don't get to know anyone in the group or on the site and they don't post anything but roll. So for them we are a bunch of strangers and it's easier to cave to a bunch of internet strangers. In my mind they are leaving the door open, they aren't quite serious about the QUIT and they are statistically more likely to cave. The guys that have caved, come back and answered the questions have mostly said they didn't get involved the first time around. Now some of those folks are highly involved and have become bad ass quitters in their own right- BigRedDude comes instantly to mind.
I'm not saying that I've made friends here in 5 weeks, but I can tell you that there is a bond. We all have different stories but we all also understand and can relate to an addiction. The more you get involved in the site, within your group, with guys outside of your group, the stronger your QUIT will become. I genuinely care about some of the other folks in my group and I want to see them succeed with their QUIT which means I also have to stay quit.
Sometimes when I'm facing my own demons I think about what others are going through and it helps me to power through whatever it is that I'm facing. It helps to get involved and read/listen to other peoples trials and successes. The more involved I get the stronger my daily promise becomes, the stronger my resolve for QUIT becomes. Now I'm promising people with names, people that have a story, people that I have a little history with. I wouldn't know what others were going through if I was a roll post a day and run kind of quitter. At first I didn't need anything but the adrenaline of QUITTING, the hate of the nic bitch and the sheer determination that I was going to beat it. I still have that determination but some days it's not as strong as other days and getting on this site of Kakoa, or live chat helps during those times and it helps even more the more you get to know people.
I still have urges, really strong urges at times. My brain tries it's damnedest to convince me to grab some cancer because it would be alright. It's all lies. It always has been. There is nothing good that would ever come about from grabbing a pinch of poison.
I don't do that shit anymore.
I don't want cancer.
I made a promise to quit for today and I will keep my word.
I love the freedom of being quit.
My desire to be quit is stronger then anything the nic bitch can throw at me because the alternative it worse.
Making the decision to QUIT every day isn't a burden, it's a relief, an instance weight gets lifted off my shoulders. Doing the right thing = less stress. QUITTING every damn day is the RIGHT THING.
-
Day 35:
Give your word and honor your word
1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems
One day at a time (ODAAT)
Quick Like Fuck (QLF)
Every damn Day (EDD)
NO EXCUSE EVER.
5 weeks. 35 days. 840 hours. 50400 minutes. These 5 weeks have gone by fast. One day at a time adds up. Facing triggers and beating them helps to build a solid foundation of quit because you can't plan for all the triggers so facing and beating the ones you can plan for help to conquer the unplanned triggers when they arise.
Before there was always a reason/ excuse to put poison in my lip. Work, round of golf, softball, mowing the lawn, doing stuff around the house, driving, drinking, financial problems etc. Name it and it sounded like a reason I should put shit in my lip.
As I sit here reflecting 5 weeks after making the second best decision of my life- QUITTING- I am still facing all of those things I use to do with a death dip in. I still play golf and softball. I still work, mow the lawn, drive etc. And I do it all without packing some cancer in a can into my lip. I enjoy the freedom from the shit. I enjoy making overall better decisions just because I'm QUIT. I use to find excuses/reasons to feed my addiction, now I don't. I spend more time with my family. I use to seek out opportunities to stuff my lip with poison, now there are times I don't even think about it.
I sat here on a Sunday morning today and needed to go through some financial stuff, which over the last few years hasn't been exactly pleasant and it was always a prime time death dip time. The urge was STRONG but my desire to stay QUIT was stronger because this site, because of the folks in October, because of Kakoa, because of LIVE CHAT because I want to stay QUIT.
GET INVOLVED:
I'm not sure giving your word then honoring your word to a bunch of strangers is very effective for most people. And in the past 35 days I've seen a lot of guys go MIA or cave. For the most part these are guys that post roll (or don't edd) and run. You don't see them on Kakoa, they don't respond to PMs from other QUITTERS, they don't get to know anyone in the group or on the site and they don't post anything but roll. So for them we are a bunch of strangers and it's easier to cave to a bunch of internet strangers. In my mind they are leaving the door open, they aren't quite serious about the QUIT and they are statistically more likely to cave. The guys that have caved, come back and answered the questions have mostly said they didn't get involved the first time around. Now some of those folks are highly involved and have become bad ass quitters in their own right- BigRedDude comes instantly to mind.
I'm not saying that I've made friends here in 5 weeks, but I can tell you that there is a bond. We all have different stories but we all also understand and can relate to an addiction. The more you get involved in the site, within your group, with guys outside of your group, the stronger your QUIT will become. I genuinely care about some of the other folks in my group and I want to see them succeed with their QUIT which means I also have to stay quit.
Sometimes when I'm facing my own demons I think about what others are going through and it helps me to power through whatever it is that I'm facing. It helps to get involved and read/listen to other peoples trials and successes. The more involved I get the stronger my daily promise becomes, the stronger my resolve for QUIT becomes. Now I'm promising people with names, people that have a story, people that I have a little history with. I wouldn't know what others were going through if I was a roll post a day and run kind of quitter. At first I didn't need anything but the adrenaline of QUITTING, the hate of the nic bitch and the sheer determination that I was going to beat it. I still have that determination but some days it's not as strong as other days and getting on this site of Kakoa, or live chat helps during those times and it helps even more the more you get to know people.
I still have urges, really strong urges at times. My brain tries it's damnedest to convince me to grab some cancer because it would be alright. It's all lies. It always has been. There is nothing good that would ever come about from grabbing a pinch of poison.
I don't do that shit anymore.
I don't want cancer.
I made a promise to quit for today and I will keep my word.
I love the freedom of being quit.
My desire to be quit is stronger then anything the nic bitch can throw at me because the alternative it worse.
Making the decision to QUIT every day isn't a burden, it's a relief, an instance weight gets lifted off my shoulders. Doing the right thing = less stress. QUITTING every damn day is the RIGHT THING.
AMFM, you are winning. Enjoy your new freedom. Smell that clean unadulterated nic free air. Kiss those girls on the head without worrying about leaving a brown shit stain.
What you get from this site is proportional to what you put in to it...the result is brotherhood. I can't think of another word for it.
I'm hopeful that the thing with your tongue turns out to be nothing but go find out. Putting it off won't help. Also, don't worry too much about the past. We all have our regrets, but you are quit now. That is all we can control. We would all love to go back in time and smack the shit out our younger selves.
Keep up the good work. You strengthen your quit and mine with your posts. QLF!
-
Took this off of Pinched's intro post from the other day putting it here because I like it:
"I am weaving a web of accountability so big that if I cave there will be a line of people ready to hand me my ass".
Good reminder of why it's important to get involved and stay involved.
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
We are all free to make our own choices in life and for all of us one bad decision being made early on brought us all together.
I choose to quit with you again today because I can.
P
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
We are all free to make our own choices in life and for all of us one bad decision being made early on brought us all together.
I choose to quit with you again today because I can.
P
Quit with you any day Pinched.
I agree with you Pinched.
The choice of QUITTING is what brought us together. The choice of remaining QUIT is what keeps the connection.
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
We are all free to make our own choices in life and for all of us one bad decision being made early on brought us all together.
I choose to quit with you again today because I can.
P
Quit with you any day Pinched.
I agree with you Pinched.
The choice of QUITTING is what brought us together. The choice of remaining QUIT is what keeps the connection.
I am quitting today with both of you today. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I like being clean and not living in slavery to nicotine. Everything in my life has improved since I quit. I make my promise to you guys everyday and am so thankful for this brotherhood and the common bond we share. You both made my quit day easier today!
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
We are all free to make our own choices in life and for all of us one bad decision being made early on brought us all together.
I choose to quit with you again today because I can.
P
Quit with you any day Pinched.
I agree with you Pinched.
The choice of QUITTING is what brought us together. The choice of remaining QUIT is what keeps the connection.
I am quitting today with both of you today. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I like being clean and not living in slavery to nicotine. Everything in my life has improved since I quit. I make my promise to you guys everyday and am so thankful for this brotherhood and the common bond we share. You both made my quit day easier today!
Rdad- You are the man. Really appreciate your texts at the beginning of my QUIT- they were instrumental in this journey. Thank you.
-
DAY 39: A question was raised about whether the fear of cancer or disappointing your wife/kids is actually enough to keep someone quit. Note: there's a lot of good post right now going on Otter's intro page about this (around page 4-8)
The fear of cancer can be a powerful motivator but it's not enough to stay quit.
The fear of disappointing your kids or spouse is a powerful motivator but it's not enough.
Hating nicotine or big tobacco is a powerful quit method but it's not enough.
The expense of dip leads some to stop but it's not enough to stay quit.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are a lot of powerful motivating factors that can lead someone to 'stop' using nicotine. I use the word 'stop' because on KTC that means a temporary time away from abusing nicotine. Whatever you need to focus on to keep you QUIT at a particular moment latch onto it but know it will eventually fade.
Fear can be extremely motivating, the fear of cancer or fear of disappointing a spouse or kids can help someone stop using tobacco or help someone get through a crave but there is only one thing that will ultimately lead you to QUIT:
Realizing it's a choice. Choose or choose not. Do or do not.
There's nothing wrong with having some motivating reasons to help you make the right choice, like hating big tobacco or fear of cancer, but in the end hate and fear will subside and you will still be left with a choice.
What some people can't seem to understand is that Jesus, spouses, kids, fear of cancer, hate of big tobacco etc. isn't going to keep them QUIT. You are the only person that can keep yourself QUIT. There are plenty of people here willing to help and support you, but you have to make the choice.
I chose to QUIT today therefore I will remain QUIT. There is absolutely nothing that can change that choice but me.
We are all free to make our own choices in life and for all of us one bad decision being made early on brought us all together.
I choose to quit with you again today because I can.
P
Quit with you any day Pinched.
I agree with you Pinched.
The choice of QUITTING is what brought us together. The choice of remaining QUIT is what keeps the connection.
I am quitting today with both of you today. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I like being clean and not living in slavery to nicotine. Everything in my life has improved since I quit. I make my promise to you guys everyday and am so thankful for this brotherhood and the common bond we share. You both made my quit day easier today!
Rdad- You are the man. Really appreciate your texts at the beginning of my QUIT- they were instrumental in this journey. Thank you.
Yes, ya'll get it. I choose to quit with ya'll. Great job.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.
LOL Gmann- you can call me a boat burner all day, everyday. In fact you can call me anything you want as long as you never call me a caver.
Who is stronger: a lone wolf or the pack?
-
Steve,
Thanks for being here. You are killing this quit solidly, one day at a time, and I'm enjoying watching you beat the hell out of it with your Titans!
What did the Dr. say about the tongue?
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.
LOL Gmann- you can call me a boat burner all day, everyday. In fact you can call me anything you want as long as you never call me a caver.
Who is stronger: a lone wolf or the pack?
Great post.
Research burn your boats. Gmann just gave you quite the compliment.
-
Steve,
Thanks for being here. You are killing this quit solidly, one day at a time, and I'm enjoying watching you beat the hell out of it with your Titans!
What did the Dr. say about the tongue?
Thanks for the kind words Cavman. I've been learning from the old time quitters and the new guys as much as I can. Anyone who posts to share their struggles, their comments or to help another is an opportunity for me to learn. Sometimes it's learning what not to do or what doesn't work, or how not to think and other times it's about what to do, what works and how to think. Different perspectives are healthy if you welcome them.
About the tongue. I have not been to the doctor. The fucker still doesn't feel right. I know you weren't really calling me out on it but thanks for bringing awareness to it. I've been trying to ignore it. I soon as I finish typing I'm calling the doctor to set up an appointment.
Quit on.
-
Cavman-
Thank you for 'calling me to the carpet' on my tongue issues. Called the doctor's office- they will be calling me back Monday when the doc gets back in to schedule an appointment. Wish I could say I wasn't nervous.
-Stevo
-
Posted by david.m in his intro, he's a fellow Titan of Oct. '14
Posting it here because I like it. Posting it here as a reminder.
Some interesting research:
on Nicotine as a dopamine releasing drug, ala heroin and other opiates:
"Nicotine and opiates are very different drugs, but the endpoint, with respect to the control of dopamine signaling, is almost identical. It demonstrates the seriousness of tobacco addiction, equating its grip on the individual to that of heroin. It reinforces the fact that these addictions are very physiological in nature and that breaking away from the habit is certainly more than just mind over matter."
- Daniel McGehee, University of Chicago Medical Center.
"The 10 Hardest Drugs to Kick"
- by Jacqueline Detwiler
The chemical makeup of drugs guarantee that certain drugs are more addictive than others. The hardest ones to kick actually train your brain to crave them. A team of researchers led by professor David Nutt of London's Imperial College recently set out to determine which drugs were most harmful based on their addictive properties. Dutch scientists replicated the London study and devised a "dependency rating" that measured addictive potency of the biggest drugs out there on a precisely calibrated scale of 0-to-3.
1. Heroin - 2.89
2. Crack Cocaine - 2.82
3. Nicotine - 2.82 (tied with Crack for second "most addictive and hardest to kick" drug!!!)
4. Methadone - 2.68
5. Crystal Meth - 2.24
6. Alcohol - 2.13
7. Cocaine - 2.13
8. Amphetamines - 1.95
9. Benzodiazepines - 1.89
10. GHB - 1.71
on the first 100 days:
"There is growing evidence that on average, it takes about 90 days for the brain to break free of the immediate effects of the drug and reset itself. Researchers at Yale University call this 90-to-100 day period the 'sleeper effect,' a time during which the brain's proper... functions gradually recover."
- Tony O'Neill, in his article, "The 100-Day Hangover"
"Whatever substance you're detoxing from, there's always an attachment. We're talking about people who are cutting off something that has started to feel as vital to them as the air they breathe. So you inevitably go through this painful period of wrenching yourself away from it, and now you're feeling lousy. It's pretty common for many recovering addicts to ask, 'Is this the reward I get for getting clean?' Most people are led to believe that once they stop using, their life will start to get better, when in reality this next period can really suck. But it gets better."
- Dr. Arnold Washton, author of Willpower is Not Enough: Recovering From Addictions of Every Kind
on not replacing nicotine-addiction with other dopamine-releasing-addictions:
"If you stop using your drug of choice but continue to use alcohol or another drug, you're saying that you don't want to learn new coping skills and that you don't want to change your life. You're saying that you want to continue to rely on drugs or alcohol to escape, relax, and reward yourself. But if you don't learn those new skills, then you won't have changed, and your addiction will catch up with you all over again.
- www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)
I read another article (can't find it now to post the quotes) that essentially explained that "addicts are addicts." Meaning, after nicotine has left the body, our cravings are not really cravings for nicotine... they're cravings for dopamine. After years of nicotine use we've created extra "gates" in our brain through which the excess amount of dopamine was able to get to the brain. Now that we've stopped using, those "gates" are huuuungry. We get normal-sized shots of dopamine when we eat, have sex, exercise, complete tasks, etc... but we may also find our cravings pop up soon after (like the post-meal crave)... that's because the brain is used to getting bigger drops of dopamine at a time... so the natural ways we produce it aren't equal to the unnatural/drug-induced ways. So it wants more. The brain doesn't know (or care) what source is feeding it the excessive amounts of dopamine it's used to. So, often nicotine quitters will transition to another addiction - usually alcohol - and they're not actually breaking addiction at all, only shifting it to a new dopamine-source. The article advised steering clear of all drugs/alcohol during the first 100 days of nicotine-quitting so that the brain has time to recover and re-learn proper balance."
-
Posted by david.m in his intro, he's a fellow Titan of Oct. '14
Posting it here because I like it. Posting it here as a reminder.
Some interesting research:
on Nicotine as a dopamine releasing drug, ala heroin and other opiates:
"Nicotine and opiates are very different drugs, but the endpoint, with respect to the control of dopamine signaling, is almost identical. It demonstrates the seriousness of tobacco addiction, equating its grip on the individual to that of heroin. It reinforces the fact that these addictions are very physiological in nature and that breaking away from the habit is certainly more than just mind over matter."
- Daniel McGehee, University of Chicago Medical Center.
"The 10 Hardest Drugs to Kick"
- by Jacqueline Detwiler
The chemical makeup of drugs guarantee that certain drugs are more addictive than others. The hardest ones to kick actually train your brain to crave them. A team of researchers led by professor David Nutt of London's Imperial College recently set out to determine which drugs were most harmful based on their addictive properties. Dutch scientists replicated the London study and devised a "dependency rating" that measured addictive potency of the biggest drugs out there on a precisely calibrated scale of 0-to-3.
1. Heroin - 2.89
2. Crack Cocaine - 2.82
3. Nicotine - 2.82 (tied with Crack for second "most addictive and hardest to kick" drug!!!)
4. Methadone - 2.68
5. Crystal Meth - 2.24
6. Alcohol - 2.13
7. Cocaine - 2.13
8. Amphetamines - 1.95
9. Benzodiazepines - 1.89
10. GHB - 1.71
on the first 100 days:
"There is growing evidence that on average, it takes about 90 days for the brain to break free of the immediate effects of the drug and reset itself. Researchers at Yale University call this 90-to-100 day period the 'sleeper effect,' a time during which the brain's proper... functions gradually recover."
- Tony O'Neill, in his article, "The 100-Day Hangover"
"Whatever substance you're detoxing from, there's always an attachment. We're talking about people who are cutting off something that has started to feel as vital to them as the air they breathe. So you inevitably go through this painful period of wrenching yourself away from it, and now you're feeling lousy. It's pretty common for many recovering addicts to ask, 'Is this the reward I get for getting clean?' Most people are led to believe that once they stop using, their life will start to get better, when in reality this next period can really suck. But it gets better."
- Dr. Arnold Washton, author of Willpower is Not Enough: Recovering From Addictions of Every Kind
on not replacing nicotine-addiction with other dopamine-releasing-addictions:
"If you stop using your drug of choice but continue to use alcohol or another drug, you're saying that you don't want to learn new coping skills and that you don't want to change your life. You're saying that you want to continue to rely on drugs or alcohol to escape, relax, and reward yourself. But if you don't learn those new skills, then you won't have changed, and your addiction will catch up with you all over again.
- www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)
I read another article (can't find it now to post the quotes) that essentially explained that "addicts are addicts." Meaning, after nicotine has left the body, our cravings are not really cravings for nicotine... they're cravings for dopamine. After years of nicotine use we've created extra "gates" in our brain through which the excess amount of dopamine was able to get to the brain. Now that we've stopped using, those "gates" are huuuungry. We get normal-sized shots of dopamine when we eat, have sex, exercise, complete tasks, etc... but we may also find our cravings pop up soon after (like the post-meal crave)... that's because the brain is used to getting bigger drops of dopamine at a time... so the natural ways we produce it aren't equal to the unnatural/drug-induced ways. So it wants more. The brain doesn't know (or care) what source is feeding it the excessive amounts of dopamine it's used to. So, often nicotine quitters will transition to another addiction - usually alcohol - and they're not actually breaking addiction at all, only shifting it to a new dopamine-source. The article advised steering clear of all drugs/alcohol during the first 100 days of nicotine-quitting so that the brain has time to recover and re-learn proper balance."
That's cool, fellow crack head.
-
Day 50 Went to see a doctor today- still having issues with my tongue. Could be geographic tongue, thrush or cancer.
Got a lot of congratulations today from fellow quitters. It some regards it was great to hear because it is a milestone of sorts hitting 50 but it's also just another great day of quit. No matter what day is by your name the important thing is that you have a number by your name because it means you are quit and if you value your word it means you'll be quit the whole day. And being quit is way better than the alternative.
Finally went to the doctor today. They aren't sure what I have but they aren't taking any chances- they took blood samples and are going to refer me to an ENT (Ear, Nose Throat Doctor) to really get a look at the back of my mouth and throat. Depending on what the blood tests come back or what they see in the back of my mouth/throat will determine next steps. Right now they are going to treat it as thrush.
I'm sharing this for two reasons:
1.) I need to document this
2.) I hope it helps someone
I remember when I was putting poison in my mouth I use to rationalize about how other guys have used a lot longer than me and they haven't gotten cancer- so that means I can keep using. That is stupid addict talk. If you finger fuck a can you are playing Russian roulette. It's as simple as that. If you wait until you actually have symptoms to quit it might be too late. Dying of cancer because you decided to abuse a product that states on the product "Caution: Could cause oral cancer" is not an appropriate way to die.
The chances that it's tongue cancer is small, the odds are in my favor that it is not, but why ever do anything to skew those odds in a negative way?
As I was waiting in the doctor's office today I thought hypothetically about if I had cancer and it was terminal. Would I use/abuse nicotine again? If I was going to die would I run off and buy a can? The answer was quickly no. Making the wrong decision over and over again may have put me in this situation but it damn sure isn't how I would want to spend my last days- making more poor decisions. I might not have quit in time but I quit and I'll remain that way.
What about if the doctor came out and said, "You got this little thing- it's no big deal, take two of these and call me in the morning- it'll be all cleared up." Then what would I do? I can tell you the fucking addict in me 50+ days ago would have sped to the nearest store and shoved a big ol' lipper of dirty fucking rat poison in my mouth. Not now. Not ever again. NAFAR. There's no going back.
When you are truly quit it doesn't matter what happens in your life, good, bad, or indifferent- it just doesn't fucking matter. There is no good reason. Not one. Zero. Nil. Nada. Zip. Zilch. None. NOTE TO ALL YOU CAVERS: there is nothing you can say that justifies your actions of stuffing your lip with that poison again.
Either you are quit or you're not. Either you use or you don't. It's a decision. Make the right one. Burn the boat. Feed the right wolf.
Quit on.
-
Thank you for the reality check, FMB. Seriously, I hope everything is Ok and you get some peace of mind.
-
DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.
LOL Gmann- you can call me a boat burner all day, everyday. In fact you can call me anything you want as long as you never call me a caver.
Who is stronger: a lone wolf or the pack?
Great post.
Research burn your boats. Gmann just gave you quite the compliment.
Scowich-
Gmann told me about boat burners and it is a complement to be called one! I really enjoy the story behind that as well. For anyone that wants to read it (it's worth it), here it is:
http://www.johnboe.com/articles/burn_your_boat.html (http://www.johnboe.com/articles/burn_your_boat.html)
Burn the boats. Feed the right wolf. Do what it takes to stay quit.
-
Thank you for the reality check, FMB. Seriously, I hope everything is Ok and you get some peace of mind.
Prayers for the test results, brother.
-
Thank you for the reality check, FMB. Seriously, I hope everything is Ok and you get some peace of mind.
Prayers for the test results, brother.
Appreciate it fellas! Whatever the results are will have to be dealt with accordingly. The more research I do the more I believe it to be something other than cancer. Not all of it good but some fairly harmless. Regardless tobacco doesn't help in any of the healing process and could have played a role in why I have whatever this may end up being.
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. All well received.
Quit on.
-
Day 52: Still waiting on the test results from the blood samples they took and still waiting on the referral to an ENT. I'm not big on worrying but I hope those fuckers hurry up so I can get on with it. Whatever 'it' ends up being.
Kids went back to school, wife off to work so that leaves me all alone at home (alone except for my big ass dog). Two days ago I hit 50 days, it was Monday and it flew by with all the rush of excitement and emotions that go along with sending elementary kids off to school for their first day back and of course a doctor's visit to check out my fucked up mouth/ tongue.
Besides reflecting on what a dumbass I had been for all those years and how I would react based on what the doctor told me I didn't really have any sort of crave Monday. It's pretty easy to have a solid, confident QUIT raging when you are at the doctor's office wondering if all those year of abusing tobacco was about ready to catch up to you.
Then Tuesday came along and there I was, home all by myself. It's like order was restored. It's what I'm use to: kids go to school, wife goes to work and I stay home and work. And that's usually when I stuffed my lip with a two finger pinch of poison. So with order being restored guess who came knocking on my door? The fucking nic bitch. Yep. She was like, "Heeeey fucker, I know you've been doing this neat little quit thing, it's real cute and all but damn it's time to get back on it- you've got the whole damn house to yourself. No one is around, just run up to 7-11 and buy some of that juicy stuff- I know you want to." I told her to get bent.
But all day long I had this little crave that wouldn't go away. I got on KTC, I worked out, I mowed the lawn, I stuffed my face with seeds and gum and tea and coffee and damn near just about everything in the pantry but the damn thing just hung on. It wasn't anything major but it was damn sure persistent. There are many different things at the beginning of my quit that spawned a crave but the craves that seem to hold on, the strong or persistent ones that happen now are when normalcy either leaves or returns.
Early in the quit just waking up set up a crave. Walking into my office I'd get a crave. Breathing, I'd get a crave. Early in the quit everything reminded me of death dips but as the days of quit built up, the normal triggers: mowing the lawn, driving long distances, golfing, playing softball they were there but it became easier to brush them aside because I had continued to face them and beat them.
Life changes or restoring life back to the 'norm'. That's when she comes knocking the hardest these days. It's a sure fire crave because for so many repeated times I stuffed my lip with that poison to 'deal' with whatever life change, challenge or obstacle I was facing or just out of plain habit, like empty house means time to stuff my face with poison.
What I'm really starting to realize is that years of abusing nicotine means I have countless 'triggers' to face. As the time goes by it will become less and less frequent because I will have faced and beat those triggers over and over therefore making them less intense or altogether gone. So as the quit days pile up we go through great times of being free of craves but we are still going to be tested every once in awhile. Just look at some of the cavers. Some of these folks had high triple digits quits going on, some guys had years of quit and went back to it. I've read stuff today about guys in the 200s talking about how they just went through a couple of rough days of craves. We are all one decision away from a cave but as you face trigger after trigger those craves that turn into caves become less frequent.
That's why it's important to understand the phrase once an addict, always an addict. There is no cure.
One day at a time we can distance ourselves from the abuse. One day at a time we can identify a trigger or 2 and beat them back, one day at a time we can quit build on that quit, one day at a time we can keep our promise of staying quit.
I quit again today with all of you. Tomorrow I'll wake up and do it all over again.
Quit on.
-
Doctor office called today with a referral to an ENT.
If any of you are thinking of caving or romanticizing dip or don't take mouth cancer seriously read this:
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/)
Fuck me.
-
Doctor office called today with a referral to an ENT.
If any of you are thinking of caving or romanticizing dip or don't take mouth cancer seriously read this:
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/)
Fuck me.
Hang tough, brother, and keep us informed.
-
Hang in there, FMBM. Keep building and restoring that life you've created that is 100% nic-free and chock full of freedom. You're doing all the right things and staying on top of all the things within your power to control.
-
Day 54: Blood test came back today: "Your blood work looks good." FUCK YEAH!
It's a great start but still have to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor because something is still wrong with my tongue back of my mouth. I'll be doing that this Wednesday. Doc said they will most likely stick some scope thing into my nose and then check around my throat to make sure nothing funky is going on there.
Still have to get this figured out but I feel like I can rest a little better now that the blood work came back 'good'.
Had some killer craves the last couple of days, which is pretty fucked up considering I was waiting on blood test result to see if my white blood cell count was up possibly indicating tongue cancer. That's how fucking powerful this addiction can be. I'm waiting to find out if blood test may indicate whether or not they need to take a chuck of my tongue to biopsy and I have craves. It's really disappointing but I've read enough on this site to realize craves effect everyone and at different times. I was trying to remain positive and not to worry but I knew I was getting more nervous as the days went by and the stress was triggering craves. In fact I had a pretty bad crave going before I got the news and then the crave just vanished.
I got blood drawn on Monday and I was trying to stay positive but all the waiting to hear something- eventually my mind went to the worse and then I read this last night (the story about the dude battling tongue cancer):
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/) and that got me all fucked up in the head.
Luckily I jumped into the chat room, tried to help some others, had some laughs and got some encouraging messages from some badass quitters. Tuco/ Doc appreciate ya. Most of the folks that were on chat last night didn't know that I was waiting on test result and I was freaking out a bit but pours, medic, doc, tuck, snot et al. Even BK helped, though that clearly wasn't his intent, but it got my mind off of my issues. Thank you.
The "good news" has harden my resolve further to stay quit. I still need to find out what the fuck is up but I know I never want to go through this shit again!
I quit with all of you again today and I'll do it again tomorrow.
Quit on.
-
Day 54: Blood test came back today: "Your blood work looks good." FUCK YEAH!
It's a great start but still have to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor because something is still wrong with my tongue back of my mouth. I'll be doing that this Wednesday. Doc said they will most likely stick some scope thing into my nose and then check around my throat to make sure nothing funky is going on there.
Still have to get this figured out but I feel like I can rest a little better now that the blood work came back 'good'.
Had some killer craves the last couple of days, which is pretty fucked up considering I was waiting on blood test result to see if my white blood cell count was up possibly indicating tongue cancer. That's how fucking powerful this addiction can be. I'm waiting to find out if blood test may indicate whether or not they need to take a chuck of my tongue to biopsy and I have craves. It's really disappointing but I've read enough on this site to realize craves effect everyone and at different times. I was trying to remain positive and not to worry but I knew I was getting more nervous as the days went by and the stress was triggering craves. In fact I had a pretty bad crave going before I got the news and then the crave just vanished.
I got blood drawn on Monday and I was trying to stay positive but all the waiting to hear something- eventually my mind went to the worse and then I read this last night (the story about the dude battling tongue cancer):
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/) and that got me all fucked up in the head.
Luckily I jumped into the chat room, tried to help some others, had some laughs and got some encouraging messages from some badass quitters. Tuco/ Doc appreciate ya. Most of the folks that were on chat last night didn't know that I was waiting on test result and I was freaking out a bit but pours, medic, doc, tuck, snot et al. Even BK helped, though that clearly wasn't his intent, but it got my mind off of my issues. Thank you.
The "good news" has harden my resolve further to stay quit. I still need to find out what the fuck is up but I know I never want to go through this shit again!
I quit with all of you again today and I'll do it again tomorrow.
Quit on.
Great news bro! Have a great weekend ... I know you'll do it clean and free of the nic. I'm hoping everything else checks out just as good if not better for you!
-
Thanks for sharing, Steve. Read the first page of your intro last night and decided to join. Read the rest now and much of it seems like it could have been written by me. Last time I thought I was dying back in 07 I went to ENT and all came back clean. I don't know how long it took, but after a clean bill of health I started again. I'm a genius. From what I've read, you are better than that. I quit.
-
Day 54: Blood test came back today: "Your blood work looks good." FUCK YEAH!
It's a great start but still have to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor because something is still wrong with my tongue back of my mouth. I'll be doing that this Wednesday. Doc said they will most likely stick some scope thing into my nose and then check around my throat to make sure nothing funky is going on there.
Still have to get this figured out but I feel like I can rest a little better now that the blood work came back 'good'.
Had some killer craves the last couple of days, which is pretty fucked up considering I was waiting on blood test result to see if my white blood cell count was up possibly indicating tongue cancer. That's how fucking powerful this addiction can be. I'm waiting to find out if blood test may indicate whether or not they need to take a chuck of my tongue to biopsy and I have craves. It's really disappointing but I've read enough on this site to realize craves effect everyone and at different times. I was trying to remain positive and not to worry but I knew I was getting more nervous as the days went by and the stress was triggering craves. In fact I had a pretty bad crave going before I got the news and then the crave just vanished.
I got blood drawn on Monday and I was trying to stay positive but all the waiting to hear something- eventually my mind went to the worse and then I read this last night (the story about the dude battling tongue cancer):
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/) and that got me all fucked up in the head.
Luckily I jumped into the chat room, tried to help some others, had some laughs and got some encouraging messages from some badass quitters. Tuco/ Doc appreciate ya. Most of the folks that were on chat last night didn't know that I was waiting on test result and I was freaking out a bit but pours, medic, doc, tuck, snot et al. Even BK helped, though that clearly wasn't his intent, but it got my mind off of my issues. Thank you.
The "good news" has harden my resolve further to stay quit. I still need to find out what the fuck is up but I know I never want to go through this shit again!
I quit with all of you again today and I'll do it again tomorrow.
Quit on.
Great news bro! Have a great weekend ... I know you'll do it clean and free of the nic. I'm hoping everything else checks out just as good if not better for you!
Good to hear some good news. Stay positive and PM me or call if you need to talk.
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Day 54: Blood test came back today: "Your blood work looks good." FUCK YEAH!
It's a great start but still have to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor because something is still wrong with my tongue back of my mouth. I'll be doing that this Wednesday. Doc said they will most likely stick some scope thing into my nose and then check around my throat to make sure nothing funky is going on there.
Still have to get this figured out but I feel like I can rest a little better now that the blood work came back 'good'.
Had some killer craves the last couple of days, which is pretty fucked up considering I was waiting on blood test result to see if my white blood cell count was up possibly indicating tongue cancer. That's how fucking powerful this addiction can be. I'm waiting to find out if blood test may indicate whether or not they need to take a chuck of my tongue to biopsy and I have craves. It's really disappointing but I've read enough on this site to realize craves effect everyone and at different times. I was trying to remain positive and not to worry but I knew I was getting more nervous as the days went by and the stress was triggering craves. In fact I had a pretty bad crave going before I got the news and then the crave just vanished.
I got blood drawn on Monday and I was trying to stay positive but all the waiting to hear something- eventually my mind went to the worse and then I read this last night (the story about the dude battling tongue cancer):
topic/1008847/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008847/1/) and that got me all fucked up in the head.
Luckily I jumped into the chat room, tried to help some others, had some laughs and got some encouraging messages from some badass quitters. Tuco/ Doc appreciate ya. Most of the folks that were on chat last night didn't know that I was waiting on test result and I was freaking out a bit but pours, medic, doc, tuck, snot et al. Even BK helped, though that clearly wasn't his intent, but it got my mind off of my issues. Thank you.
The "good news" has harden my resolve further to stay quit. I still need to find out what the fuck is up but I know I never want to go through this shit again!
I quit with all of you again today and I'll do it again tomorrow.
Quit on.
Great news bro! Have a great weekend ... I know you'll do it clean and free of the nic. I'm hoping everything else checks out just as good if not better for you!
Good to hear some good news. Stay positive and PM me or call if you need to talk.
Glad the first round of tests came back negative. That's worth celebrating! Enjoy the now, don't dwell on the past or the future. Focus on the now. You can't control anything other than staying quit at this point. The chips will fall where they may, and I have a positive feeling they will land just where you need them. As always, I'm a text, call, or message away. I'm continuing to send you positive vibes!
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Thank you for the feed the good wolf story, and thank you for posting roll with november today with the quote. I read this yesterday or the day before and could not remember where I saw it. As you can see I have stolen it. Made me a nice little avatar and I will be reposting the story on my intro so I can go back and read it as needed.
You have strengthened both my quit and my overall outlook and approach to life.
QLF with you today sir!
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This intro thread is awesome. Your documenting your quit will help incoming noobs immensely, plus it's a who's who of vets who dispense great advice.
Should be required reading for incoming.
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This intro thread is awesome. Your documenting your quit will help incoming noobs immensely, plus it's a who's who of vets who dispense great advice.
Should be required reading for incoming.
I as well read through this today. Nicely done. Prayers for the ENT visit. Keep on quitting!
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This intro thread is awesome. Your documenting your quit will help incoming noobs immensely, plus it's a who's who of vets who dispense great advice.
Should be required reading for incoming.
I as well read through this today. Nicely done. Prayers for the ENT visit. Keep on quitting!
Appreciate it fellas! Gotta take things one day at a time.
Proud to be quit with you.
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Amazing that on Day 59, less than 3 hours away from going to an ENT to get the back of my mouth and throat checked out, I'm having a big ol' crave. Here I sit wondering what the doctor is going to find/say and the nic has come pounding hard at my door.
It started off as a little twinge, right when I thought this morning about having to go see the doctor today I got a crave. And as the time is getting closer to seeing the doctor the crave is getting bigger.
I know I'm not going to cave because I'm never putting that shit in my lip ever again for any reason but this just further proves how fucked up our minds/ bodies got abusing nicotine. Whenever I dealt with a stressful situation or anxiety (neither of which I would openly admit were stressful or that I had anxiety) I would combat it with finger fucking the cancer can. Now I have to find other ways to deal with these situations.
I'm quit today and I'll wake up ready to quit again tomorrow- no matter what the doctor has to say.
Feed the Good Wolf and Quit on.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
-
GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!
Never be here again brother. Stay quit every damn day! I'll be here with you.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!
Never be here again brother. Stay quit every damn day! I'll be here with you.
PHEW!!! That is a huge relief, now isn't it? Glad you finally have some much-needed peace of mind along with some wise words from the ENT doc.
Quit with you today, buddy.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!
Never be here again brother. Stay quit every damn day! I'll be here with you.
PHEW!!! That is a huge relief, now isn't it? Glad you finally have some much-needed peace of mind along with some wise words from the ENT doc.
Quit with you today, buddy.
Don't know why you wouldn't take my word for it that you were fine. Too, much straining with your mouth open trying to catch your own load.
But, seriously, I am really glad you got a good report. Now, back to quitting!
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Day 65:
Things are going good- I'm quit and my mouth is healing. Still reading a ton of stuff on KTC. Still getting craves here and there but knowing how to deal with the craves- having a plan is key. I burned the boats so I have to deal with the craves. It's part of the deal after abusing my body and mind with that poison for so long.
The wife knows I'm quit, she asks about once a week what day I'm on, which I think is pretty cool. I'm starting to earn that trust back and it feels good. It's really starting to settle in with her that I'm QUIT. She told me the other day, "That web-site you are on and that app where you chat with your quit buddies and that contract you carry in your wallet (sic)- I have no doubt that all of that is what is making this time work." I told her I'm doing what needs to be done to stay quit because I want to be quit- because I don't ever want to put that shit in my mouth again.
There's a process that has helped so many people quit here- I'm applying that process EDD and soaking up all the great advice that's available. Really appreciate everyone that takes the time to share their stories, advice, trials and victories. You have to own your quit but the process and the people make my quit better and for that I'm thankful.
Quit on fuckers. I quit with y'all today and when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to happily post roll and quit with y'all again.
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Glad to hear the mouth is healing and the trust is returning. Full tilt quit. I am quit with you.
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Nice work bud, you have been a staple in my quit and will continue to be. Quit with you today!
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Whats up ForMeByMe!
The support of my wife has been huge for me too. Just the occasional "good Job" or "what day are you on ?" or "it's nice being able to kiss you whenever I want without having to wonder if there is a huge wad of shit in your lip" goes along way. The support we get here is made stronger by the in your face support we get from family and true friends. I have a estimator that sits in the same room with me and I would get a fistful of knuckles if he ever saw me dipping at my desk again!
You got with the program early on and are continuing to get stronger all the time. I am really enjoying following your journey! Peace, Out!
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Day 65:
Things are going good- I'm quit and my mouth is healing. Still reading a ton of stuff on KTC. Still getting craves here and there but knowing how to deal with the craves- having a plan is key. I burned the boats so I have to deal with the craves. It's part of the deal after abusing my body and mind with that poison for so long.
The wife knows I'm quit, she asks about once a week what day I'm on, which I think is pretty cool. I'm starting to earn that trust back and it feels good. It's really starting to settle in with her that I'm QUIT. She told me the other day, "That web-site you are on and that app where you chat with your quit buddies and that contract you carry in your wallet (sic)- I have no doubt that all of that is what is making this time work." I told her I'm doing what needs to be done to stay quit because I want to be quit- because I don't ever want to put that shit in my mouth again.
There's a process that has helped so many people quit here- I'm applying that process EDD and soaking up all the great advice that's available. Really appreciate everyone that takes the time to share their stories, advice, trials and victories. You have to own your quit but the process and the people make my quit better and for that I'm thankful.
Quit on fuckers. I quit with y'all today and when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to happily post roll and quit with y'all again.
QLF EDD w/ you, bro.
NAFAR...see you tomorrow.
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Whats up ForMeByMe!
The support of my wife has been huge for me too. Just the occasional "good Job" or "what day are you on ?" or "it's nice being able to kiss you whenever I want without having to wonder if there is a huge wad of shit in your lip" goes along way. The support we get here is made stronger by the in your face support we get from family and true friends. I have a estimator that sits in the same room with me and I would get a fistful of knuckles if he ever saw me dipping at my desk again!
You got with the program early on and are continuing to get stronger all the time. I am really enjoying following your journey! Peace, Out!
LOL. I work from home so I don't have anyone to give me a fistful of knuckles! Guess I'd have to pull a Fight Club and beat the shit out of myself- which I would do if I ever stuck that shit in my mouth again.
Got a big whiff of chew last night at softball right after we lost by a run. It gave me a quick but fleeting crave. I wasn't even thinking about it 10 steps later. I didn't even remember thinking about it until I was writing this. It feels awesome to.
Ya'll keep up the strong quit because I know it's helping my quit. Appreciate you fellas.
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ATTENTION KTC QUITTERS... you want this cat in your call list, quit defense or whatever else you call it!
Damn glad to meet up with you and keep owning it !!
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ATTENTION KTC QUITTERS... you want this cat in your call list, quit defense or whatever else you call it!
Damn glad to meet up with you and keep owning it !!
Appreciate that CBird! Great meeting up for lunch this past Friday. Keep up the great work of helping others! Keep quitting strong
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Day 65:
Things are going good- I'm quit and my mouth is healing. Still reading a ton of stuff on KTC. Still getting craves here and there but knowing how to deal with the craves- having a plan is key. I burned the boats so I have to deal with the craves. It's part of the deal after abusing my body and mind with that poison for so long.
The wife knows I'm quit, she asks about once a week what day I'm on, which I think is pretty cool. I'm starting to earn that trust back and it feels good. It's really starting to settle in with her that I'm QUIT. She told me the other day, "That web-site you are on and that app where you chat with your quit buddies and that contract you carry in your wallet (sic)- I have no doubt that all of that is what is making this time work." I told her I'm doing what needs to be done to stay quit because I want to be quit- because I don't ever want to put that shit in my mouth again.
There's a process that has helped so many people quit here- I'm applying that process EDD and soaking up all the great advice that's available. Really appreciate everyone that takes the time to share their stories, advice, trials and victories. You have to own your quit but the process and the people make my quit better and for that I'm thankful.
Quit on fuckers. I quit with y'all today and when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to happily post roll and quit with y'all again.
QLF EDD w/ you, bro.
NAFAR...see you tomorrow.
This is great stuff. Keep at it brother!
-
Day 74: 10 and half weeks in and the nic bitch just won't let go.
Work has been busy, life, kids, etc.- it's all been a whirlwind lately with school, sports and everything else getting into full swing. Can't seem to catch up or during the times that it finally slows down I can't find the motivation to hit it and just get the stuff done.
I'm in a mid 70s funk- which means nic the bitch comes around trying to convince me that with one big ol' pinch I can power through all this stuff and then just quit again. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Caving or believing that a pinch of poison is actually going to give me some magical powers to work through this shit.
I keep telling her to get bent, fuck off, eat a fat donkey dick but she's persistent. I really think it's my brain is telling me that I'm not giving it the dopamine it's used to. I just feel a little off, a little complacent in everything- it's almost like reverting back to when I dipped and I hadn't had one in awhile- I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long except getting that next fix. Now I think I'm searching for something but I'm not finding it. I feel like I'm missing something- there's an every present small emptiness that pops up here and there and hangs on- that's when the craves hit. Fuck is it ever frustrating. I don't expect less, I used that shit as a crutch for a long time- it isn't going to change overnight.
1 problem + nicotine - 2 problems.
Posted roll- I made my promise so I'll get through this funk
ODAAT- get through today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
NAFAR- there are no good reasons to put that poison in my mouth again, shit will get done once I pull my head out of my ass and stop procrastinating. I can catch up without putting cancer causes chemicals in my mouth.
I WANT TO RAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
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Day 74: 10 and half weeks in and the nic bitch just won't let go.
Work has been busy, life, kids, etc.- it's all been a whirlwind lately with school, sports and everything else getting into full swing. Can't seem to catch up or during the times that it finally slows down I can't find the motivation to 'hit it' and just get the stuff done.
I'm in a mid 70s funk- which means nic the bitch comes around trying to convince me that with one big ol' pinch I can power through all this stuff and then just quit again. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Caving or believing that a pinch of poison is actually going to give me some magical powers to work through this shit.
I keep telling her to get bent, fuck off, eat a fat donkey dick but she's persistent. I really think it's my brain is telling me that I'm not giving it the dopamine it's used to. I just feel a little off, a little complacent in everything- it's almost like reverting back to when I dipped and I hadn't had one in awhile- I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long except getting that next fix. Now I think I'm searching for something but I'm not finding it. I feel like I'm missing something- there's an every present small emptiness that pops up here and there and hangs on- that's when the craves hit. Fuck is it ever frustrating. I don't expect less, I used that shit as a crutch for a long time- it isn't going to change overnight.
1 problem + nicotine - 2 problems.
Posted roll- I made my promise so I'll get through this funk
ODAAT- get through today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
NAFAR- there are no good reasons to put that poison in my mouth again, shit will get done once I pull my head out of my ass and stop procrastinating. I can catch up without putting cancer causes chemicals in my mouth.
I WANT TO RAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
FMBM,
RAGE ON brother....let it ALL out....God knows I was there for a LOOOOONG time between 50 and 100. Sometimes I still don't think I'm out of the woods. But I can say the good days are beginning to outweigh the bad ones.
Quit on....whatever you need to do to stay that way each and every day. I know you know that, just wanted you to know you have a shit-ton of folks pulling for you.
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Day 74: 10 and half weeks in and the nic bitch just won't let go.
Work has been busy, life, kids, etc.- it's all been a whirlwind lately with school, sports and everything else getting into full swing. Can't seem to catch up or during the times that it finally slows down I can't find the motivation to hit it and just get the stuff done.
I'm in a mid 70s funk- which means nic the bitch comes around trying to convince me that with one big ol' pinch I can power through all this stuff and then just quit again. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Caving or believing that a pinch of poison is actually going to give me some magical powers to work through this shit.
I keep telling her to get bent, fuck off, eat a fat donkey dick but she's persistent. I really think it's my brain is telling me that I'm not giving it the dopamine it's used to. I just feel a little off, a little complacent in everything- it's almost like reverting back to when I dipped and I hadn't had one in awhile- I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long except getting that next fix. Now I think I'm searching for something but I'm not finding it. I feel like I'm missing something- there's an every present small emptiness that pops up here and there and hangs on- that's when the craves hit. Fuck is it ever frustrating. I don't expect less, I used that shit as a crutch for a long time- it isn't going to change overnight.
1 problem + nicotine - 2 problems.
Posted roll- I made my promise so I'll get through this funk
ODAAT- get through today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
NAFAR- there are no good reasons to put that poison in my mouth again, shit will get done once I pull my head out of my ass and stop procrastinating. I can catch up without putting cancer causes chemicals in my mouth.
I WANT TO RAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
FMBM707,
I know the feeling of all the shit hitting at once. I am only 11 days into my quit but like you life has taken somewhat a backseat to my quit. I was thinking about that yesterday and I thought fuck this, the nic bitch can't win. I get through this fog and slow down LIFE picks back up. This quit is get my life back. My wife and kids have been good about keeping me quit. One of them asks every morning if I have posted roll yet. Thank you for keeping this intro as a journal it really helps me see what I have coming. I know not all quits are the same but its nice to see guys get it and keep it up. Thanks
Sir Nope
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Day 74: 10 and half weeks in and the nic bitch just won't let go.
Work has been busy, life, kids, etc.- it's all been a whirlwind lately with school, sports and everything else getting into full swing. Can't seem to catch up or during the times that it finally slows down I can't find the motivation to hit it and just get the stuff done.
I'm in a mid 70s funk- which means nic the bitch comes around trying to convince me that with one big ol' pinch I can power through all this stuff and then just quit again. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Caving or believing that a pinch of poison is actually going to give me some magical powers to work through this shit.
I keep telling her to get bent, fuck off, eat a fat donkey dick but she's persistent. I really think it's my brain is telling me that I'm not giving it the dopamine it's used to. I just feel a little off, a little complacent in everything- it's almost like reverting back to when I dipped and I hadn't had one in awhile- I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long except getting that next fix. Now I think I'm searching for something but I'm not finding it. I feel like I'm missing something- there's an every present small emptiness that pops up here and there and hangs on- that's when the craves hit. Fuck is it ever frustrating. I don't expect less, I used that shit as a crutch for a long time- it isn't going to change overnight.
1 problem + nicotine - 2 problems.
Posted roll- I made my promise so I'll get through this funk
ODAAT- get through today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
NAFAR- there are no good reasons to put that poison in my mouth again, shit will get done once I pull my head out of my ass and stop procrastinating. I can catch up without putting cancer causes chemicals in my mouth.
I WANT TO RAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I knew a girl once, years ago, that I met shortly after I moved to Boston. She was cool, kind of edgy, and quite hot. We initially bonded over music and a mutual disdain for our exes. While we were close, we were never officially "together" - at least in my mind. The fact that most of my friends didn't really seem to care for her stuck out to me. Then it was other things like the fact that she was always drinking, would sometimes go into these crazed fits of raging/crying, and seemed to really crave attention from other men. Sounds like a dream, right? Yeah, well, I did what most idiots do. I rationalized how fun and hot and awesome she was when we were together, and tried to ignore all of the other stuff like the drunken mid-day phone calls at work, pleading with me to go to her apartment. Or the random dude that would be there when I showed up.
Ok, I lied. I couldn't ignore that last one. I broke off whatever it was we had, and vowed never to come back to the well. As the days and weeks went by, she kept calling and showing up. A lot at first, then the calls/drop-ins started to get more and more infrequent until they eventually stopped. I had reached a point several months later where in my mind I had completely moved on. Then I bumped into her on the street one day. She seemed genuinely happy, funny, and sane. Meanwhile, I was stuck in a major rut. I hated my job, was constantly broke, and felt major homesickness. When she asked what I was doing later, of course I jumped at the chance to hang out. After we made plans for one weekend night, I was excited initially and then all of the negative shit came flooding back a few hours later. My rutted mind wanted to try and ignore the past and rationalize that she had "changed". My gut was telling me to back away, but my mind didn't want to listen. I finally made a deal with myself that I would call her to cancel our date as a test. If she was cool about it, we'd reschedule and move ahead. If she was even slightly manic, then there was my answer and my gut was right all along. I'll let you guess which door she went with...
Anyway, what's the point to that whole story? I don't know exactly. I do know that I had a penchant for attracting batshit crazy chicks for a good 4-5 year stretch in my early twenties.
I also know that your last post kind of reminds me of her. She was just like the nic bitch. She had her fucking claws in me, made me feel great and awesome, until she didn't. She was still there, months after I kicked her ass to the curb, waiting to lure me in by tempting me with memories of all the "fun" we had together. I was at such a low point otherwise, I very nearly gave in.
I'm glad I didn't and I'm glad you didn't.
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All I know is that bad days are gonna happen, and if I caved I just shat on 169 days, my family, myself, and the KTC. Not gonna happen today.
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You are only truly tested when the shit hits the fan. Anybody can quit and stay quit when life is easy.
Life isn't always going to be easy and if you want to cave there are always excuses- they are easy to find. That's the addiction speaking.
Conversely, no matter what is happening in your life, good or bad, if you want to quit and stay quit there are always good reasons and they are easy to find.
Quit with you all.
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FMBM, I've seen you all over this site. Dropping knowledge, offering support, and diving head first into your quit every day. For some reason, I had never opened up your intro until this morning and after having read it cover to cover, felt compelled to tell you this is one of the best quit journals on the site. From the very first day of your quit when you wouldn't accept Day 1 for a reason given to you by KTC, but would only accept Day 1 by your standards was badass in and of itself.
Just wanted to let you know, your quit is inspiring and F-ing badass all around. There isn't a single person on this site who can't take away at least something from your documentary. Keep it up and I second Cbird's earlier endorsement to newbies, this is a guy who you want to follow. A model quitter.
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Day 76. Quitting. As I've mentioned I've been in a bit of a mid 70s funk but it doesn't mean I'm remotely thinking of caving. I've made my promise and I'll make it again tomorrow.
There has been a lot of drama on the site lately. Mostly between a few individuals in May HOF '14 and October PreHof '14.
We all should all try to QUIT more then just nicotine. I know I need to work on these
Quit assuming- you lose credibility
Quit generalizing- it shows your stupidity
Quit being so sensitive- don't let the small shit bother you
Quit being closed minded- it's difficult to understand when you are only using one of the holes in your head
Quit making excuses for your behavior- you choose how you act
Quit talking- silence can be powerful and actions speak louder; can't learning anything when you're running your mouth
Quit being an asshole to be an asshole or taking pride in being a 'dick'. That's like being proud of chewing- it unbecoming
Quit standing on the sidelines- if it's important jump in
Quit focusing on the wrong things.
Quit giving into the attention whores- it's only fueling their fire
Quit stirring the pot to stir the pot. If it's not constructive then close your pie hole
Quit using cliches
Quit being a hypocrite- practice what you preach (already fucked up the the cliche part)
ABOVE ALL ELSE STAY QUIT TODAY, wake up tomorrow and quit again.
I quit with all of you, even the fucktards and asswipes. I might not piss on you if you're on fire but I'll quit with you while you're on fire.
Quit on.
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Good stuff from Smeds intro about another dude's intro.
Good read if you have the time:
topic/1008313/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1008313/1/)
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Day 76. Quitting. As I've mentioned I've been in a bit of a mid 70s funk but it doesn't mean I'm remotely thinking of caving. I've made my promise and I'll make it again tomorrow.
There has been a lot of drama on the site lately. Mostly between a few individuals in May HOF '14 and October PreHof '14.
We all should all try to QUIT more then just nicotine. I know I need to work on these
Quit assuming- you lose credibility
Quit generalizing- it shows your stupidity
Quit being so sensitive- don't let the small shit bother you
Quit being closed minded- it's difficult to understand when you are only using one of the holes in your head
Quit making excuses for your behavior- you choose how you act
Quit talking- silence can be powerful and actions speak louder; can't learning anything when you're running your mouth
Quit being an asshole to be an asshole or taking pride in being a 'dick'. That's like being proud of chewing- it unbecoming
Quit standing on the sidelines- if it's important jump in
Quit focusing on the wrong things.
Quit giving into the attention whores- it's only fueling their fire
Quit stirring the pot to stir the pot. If it's not constructive then close your pie hole
Quit using cliches
Quit being a hypocrite- practice what you preach (already fucked up the the cliche part)
ABOVE ALL ELSE STAY QUIT TODAY, wake up tomorrow and quit again.
I quit with all of you, even the fucktards and asswipes. I might not piss on you if you're on fire but I'll quit with you while you're on fire.
Quit on.
A lot of great points here, FMBM. I've been a huge fan of you since Day 1. I've dropped the ball of sorts in keeping in regular contact with you. For that, I apologize. I loved the "2 wolves" post. I love what you stand for. To use a "cliche"... you get it. End of story... you get what it takes to stay quit. Stay diligent... stay focused.... pace yourself... and you will continue to succeed. Ride the wave when things get hard. It doesn't last forever. I have to update my signature because it seems like I'm using this quote, daily. "Tough times don't last... tough people do."
I believe you, are a tough person. Quit on buddy.
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79 Days. 3 weeks away from the HOF and it's never felt further.
Mother fucker the 70s funk is for real- at least it has been for me. It has sucked a big fat horse cock. The last 7 days I've thought more about having a death dip then I have total in the first 70 days. I've actually thought about how I could get away with it. I'M NOT GOING TO CAVE. I'm done with that shit. I've made my promise and I do it early and every damn day but fuck it's been brutal. Some guys say it's the adrenaline wearing off (I thought that happened awhile ago), some think the novelty of quitting is wearing off (this isn't a stop- it's a quit), some think it doesn't really exist ( 'Finger' - it does for this mother fucker), some guys are sick of hearing about it (I don't blame you- it's wearing me the fuck out). Whatever the fuck it is I can tell anyone starting out with their quit better start building a solid quit foundation and collecting some digits because this shit has really effected me the last 7 days or so and without 'training' for this for the last 70+ days I might have failed.
I know it's all mental and I've been battling it everyday. I've been keeping the simple principles of KTC in mind and applying them. Quit ODDAT. Make that promise early EDD and be a man of your word for 24 hours.
Maybe it's because I feel other aspects of my life have gotten away from me because I've been so focused on quitting. I'm behind in both work and home stuff. I started working on changing that today and will work on that again tomorrow.
Stay QUIT. Fuck the evil bitch that is nic. Feed the good wolf. Burn the boats. QLF EDD
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79 Days. 3 weeks away from the HOF and it's never felt further.
Mother fucker the 70s funk is for real- at least it has been for me. It has sucked a big fat horse cock. The last 7 days I've thought more about having a death dip then I have total in the first 70 days. I've actually thought about how I could get away with it. I'M NOT GOING TO CAVE. I'm done with that shit. I've made my promise and I do it early and every damn day but fuck it's been brutal. Some guys say it's the adrenaline wearing off (I thought that happened awhile ago), some think the novelty of quitting is wearing off (this isn't a stop- it's a quit), some think it doesn't really exist ( 'Finger' - it does for this mother fucker), some guys are sick of hearing about it (I don't blame you- it's wearing me the fuck out). Whatever the fuck it is I can tell anyone starting out with their quit better start building a solid quit foundation and collecting some digits because this shit has really effected me the last 7 days or so and without 'training' for this for the last 70+ days I might have failed.
I know it's all mental and I've been battling it everyday. I've been keeping the simple principles of KTC in mind and applying them. Quit ODDAT. Make that promise early EDD and be a man of your word for 24 hours.
Maybe it's because I feel other aspects of my life have gotten away from me because I've been so focused on quitting. I'm behind in both work and home stuff. I started working on changing that today and will work on that again tomorrow.
Stay QUIT. Fuck the evil bitch that is nic. Feed the good wolf. Burn the boats. QLF EDD
Hang tough FMBM.....your quit is as strong as it gets. You have tons of support and you are also paying it forward. They are looking to you as a role model - because you are. This 70's funk soon gets replaced with the excitement of seeing your buddies in October roll into the HOF. And then it will be you. Then you are on to your next journey - which will be day 101.
The more your lay out in support, the easier it gets.
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Yeah Im in the same boat. No spots in mouth, but being selfish and continuing on each day without regard for family and friends is my problem as well. Just stop and be serious about it, also reading your story makes me think I really really need to gut this shit out and quit for good as well. I wont post roll today because I did chew early this morning and then threw the new tin out the window. These guys are right posting roll is the only way. Working with this site and group of people will get you though. I m coming back for the second time, but the failure is not with this site, its with me. Ive chewed for 22 years and its a tough habit to beat, but you will do it!!!
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Yeah Im in the same boat. No spots in mouth, but being selfish and continuing on each day without regard for family and friends is my problem as well. Just stop and be serious about it, also reading your story makes me think I really really need to gut this shit out and quit for good as well. I wont post roll today because I did chew early this morning and then threw the new tin out the window. These guys are right posting roll is the only way. Working with this site and group of people will get you though. I m coming back for the second time, but the failure is not with this site, its with me. Ive chewed for 22 years and its a tough habit to beat, but you will do it!!!
Yo' if you threw it out, answer the three questions and post roll. That is as long as you aren't going to buy more cat turds to stuff in your pie hole.
Make it easy, answer the three questions on your thread, find you old quit group and post in their group the answers to your questions and post friggen roll like a boss. If you are done with chew, your are as done right now as you will be tomorrow at this time. Les go!
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Yeah Im in the same boat. No spots in mouth, but being selfish and continuing on each day without regard for family and friends is my problem as well. Just stop and be serious about it, also reading your story makes me think I really really need to gut this shit out and quit for good as well. I wont post roll today because I did chew early this morning and then threw the new tin out the window. These guys are right posting roll is the only way. Working with this site and group of people will get you though. I m coming back for the second time, but the failure is not with this site, its with me. Ive chewed for 22 years and its a tough habit to beat, but you will do it!!!
I suppose your heart is in the right place, but you haven't even posted roll yourself or attempted to answer the 3 questions.
All you've really done since coming back is step in dogshit and then track it all over FMBM's house.
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Yeah Im in the same boat. No spots in mouth, but being selfish and continuing on each day without regard for family and friends is my problem as well. Just stop and be serious about it, also reading your story makes me think I really really need to gut this shit out and quit for good as well. I wont post roll today because I did chew early this morning and then threw the new tin out the window. These guys are right posting roll is the only way. Working with this site and group of people will get you though. I m coming back for the second time, but the failure is not with this site, its with me. Ive chewed for 22 years and its a tough habit to beat, but you will do it!!!
I suppose your heart is in the right place, but you haven't even posted roll yourself or attempted to answer the 3 questions.
All you've really done since coming back is step in dogshit and then track it all over FMBM's house.
LOL. If it helps him quit by tracking in dog shit. That works for me. CPAvelek you get your shit straight and quit and post roll send me a PM and we can march down the path together but you've got to want it and you've got to own it every day. 100% quit, 100% roll post and 100% balls deep in the quit.
Let me know when you are ready- I'll still be here posting my promise every fucking day one fucking day at a time.
Quit on fuckers.
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Day 88: Haven't written in my introduction in awhile. I've been in a super funk. I haven't been very supportive to others and I just haven't felt right. It's a vicious cycle.
Bummed to read about AirForceAddict cave (July '14). Before a week ago the guy appeared to be a solid, active quitter. I am glad he manned up and posted about it, instead of just disappearing like Smeagle to be with his 'precious'. AFA addressing it helped snap me out of my funk this morning. It reinforced how quickly the nic bitch can weasel her way back into your life. In most cases I don't believe we are 1 bad decision away, it takes a multitude of bad decisions to get back to being a slave. It also reinforced how truly addicted we are. The thought of it disgusts me but in the same sense I can empathize- in the last couple of weeks of my quit I've never been more close to caving.
I've been going through the motions: posting role, occassionally posting support, a few times commenting on intros etc but my head and my heart haven't been in it. Out of all the 88 days I've quit tobacco that last couple of weeks I've felt more like I was just 'stopping'- it's been truly disappointing. I haven't gone as far as AFA and bought a can but the thought has been there. I'm sure a lot of us have thought about it a time or two during our quit. The difference the last couple of weeks is that I didn't immediately squash the thought. Instead I contemplated it- thoroughly at times. Planned out how'd I do it.
I believe it's because of my October brothers and because of the many supportive and contributing members on KTC that I found a reason to stay quit each time. I also realize how not squashing that thought immediately is dangerous. It's a bad decision to not immediately and forcibly remove that thought from your head. It's like feeding the bad wolf. For every one thought about death dip think of 2 reasons not to chew. Some days that could consume hours of my time.
I have to work to change the way I've been thinking the last couple of weeks. Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
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FMB,
Great post and updates to your intro.
I hope some new quitters find their way in here and read you story, good reasons to stay quit.
Charles
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FMBM, the funk you are in is normal, I am glad you are realizing it for what it is. AFA's cave today was a punch in the gut for all of us, so let's get back up and stay quit. You are a leader in your group, stay that way.
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Day 88: Haven't written in my introduction in awhile. I've been in a super funk. I haven't been very supportive to others and I just haven't felt right. It's a vicious cycle.
Bummed to read about AirForceAddict cave (July '14). Before a week ago the guy appeared to be a solid, active quitter. I am glad he manned up and posted about it, instead of just disappearing like Smeagle to be with his 'precious'. AFA addressing it helped snap me out of my funk this morning. It reinforced how quickly the nic bitch can weasel her way back into your life. In most cases I don't believe we are 1 bad decision away, it takes a multitude of bad decisions to get back to being a slave. It also reinforced how truly addicted we are. The thought of it disgusts me but in the same sense I can empathize- in the last couple of weeks of my quit I've never been more close to caving.
I've been going through the motions: posting role, occassionally posting support, a few times commenting on intros etc but my head and my heart haven't been in it. Out of all the 88 days I've quit tobacco that last couple of weeks I've felt more like I was just 'stopping'- it's been truly disappointing. I haven't gone as far as AFA and bought a can but the thought has been there. I'm sure a lot of us have thought about it a time or two during our quit. The difference the last couple of weeks is that I didn't immediately squash the thought. Instead I contemplated it- thoroughly at times. Planned out how'd I do it.
I believe it's because of my October brothers and because of the many supportive and contributing members on KTC that I found a reason to stay quit each time. I also realize how not squashing that thought immediately is dangerous. It's a bad decision to not immediately and forcibly remove that thought from your head. It's like feeding the bad wolf. For every one thought about death dip think of 2 reasons not to chew. Some days that could consume hours of my time.
I have to work to change the way I've been thinking the last couple of weeks. Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
I was stunned to hear about AFA's cave. I know you've been in a doghouse funk for a while now, and if this news is what it takes to snap you out of it, so be it. Whatever it takes to protect that quit.
Cold dose of reality on a Thursday morning...
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Day 88: Haven't written in my introduction in awhile. I've been in a super funk. I haven't been very supportive to others and I just haven't felt right. It's a vicious cycle.
Bummed to read about AirForceAddict cave (July '14). Before a week ago the guy appeared to be a solid, active quitter. I am glad he manned up and posted about it, instead of just disappearing like Smeagle to be with his 'precious'. AFA addressing it helped snap me out of my funk this morning. It reinforced how quickly the nic bitch can weasel her way back into your life. In most cases I don't believe we are 1 bad decision away, it takes a multitude of bad decisions to get back to being a slave. It also reinforced how truly addicted we are. The thought of it disgusts me but in the same sense I can empathize- in the last couple of weeks of my quit I've never been more close to caving.
I've been going through the motions: posting role, occassionally posting support, a few times commenting on intros etc but my head and my heart haven't been in it. Out of all the 88 days I've quit tobacco that last couple of weeks I've felt more like I was just 'stopping'- it's been truly disappointing. I haven't gone as far as AFA and bought a can but the thought has been there. I'm sure a lot of us have thought about it a time or two during our quit. The difference the last couple of weeks is that I didn't immediately squash the thought. Instead I contemplated it- thoroughly at times. Planned out how'd I do it.
I believe it's because of my October brothers and because of the many supportive and contributing members on KTC that I found a reason to stay quit each time. I also realize how not squashing that thought immediately is dangerous. It's a bad decision to not immediately and forcibly remove that thought from your head. It's like feeding the bad wolf. For every one thought about death dip think of 2 reasons not to chew. Some days that could consume hours of my time.
I have to work to change the way I've been thinking the last couple of weeks. Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
I was stunned to hear about AFA's cave. I know you've been in a doghouse funk for a while now, and if this news is what it takes to snap you out of it, so be it. Whatever it takes to protect that quit.
Cold dose of reality on a Thursday morning...
I am certain you have heard this before but it is going to suck until it doesn't. It took me almost a year to fully understand that but I can tell you right now everything is better. The funks are great and continue using your intro section because when you get later in your quit you may need these little notes to remember the good days and the bad days. I often reread my early musings and now they make me smile.
Like you my friend I am quit, nothing else matters. Continue reminding yourself how much money you are saving
P
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...Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
So true. About 7 years ago, I was involved in something at work that was life changing. It was just the excuse I needed to cave and ruin a year-long stoppage. Like you and so many smarter than me have said. Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. I didn't know how deep your funk was and that is my bad. You are an inspiration to many on here and I quit with you.
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...Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
So true. About 7 years ago, I was involved in something at work that was life changing. It was just the excuse I needed to cave and ruin a year-long stoppage. Like you and so many smarter than me have said. Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. I didn't know how deep your funk was and that is my bad. You are an inspiration to many on here and I quit with you.
Steve,
Wanted to echo dano's comment...you are a solid inspiration to many, many quitters on this site. Enjoy reading your words of wisdom scattered here and there like seeds of truth! It is plain that you have this. You are owning this quit and doing the work required every day to beat it into submission. Proud of you.
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...Being quit is a positive and when shit goes wrong it may be the only fucking positive you have going on so fucking hold onto that. Example: My wife left me, I lost my job, my dog died, etc etc.- that all sucks BUT AT LEAST I'M QUIT. No matter what happens being quit is always a positive. If you stay quit there will always be something positive in your life.
Quitters find reasons to stay quit, cavers find excuses to cave.
Quit on.
So true. About 7 years ago, I was involved in something at work that was life changing. It was just the excuse I needed to cave and ruin a year-long stoppage. Like you and so many smarter than me have said. Problem + nicotine = 2 problems. I didn't know how deep your funk was and that is my bad. You are an inspiration to many on here and I quit with you.
Steve,
Wanted to echo dano's comment...you are a solid inspiration to many, many quitters on this site. Enjoy reading your words of wisdom scattered here and there like seeds of truth! It is plain that you have this. You are owning this quit and doing the work required every day to beat it into submission. Proud of you.
FormebyMe,
You have the knowledge of the truth about nicotine. You have to CLOSE THAT DOOR! There is nothing good back there. True freedom has a price and you are paying it every morning that you post your promise. I quit with you ODAAT.
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Proud to be your brother in October.
I enjoy our chats and knowing I can bitch to you or just talk to you about anything and you're there as a friend.
I quit with you today and everyday brother.
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The beauty of quit is after the clear our minds from the nic abuse, we can clearly see other areas in our lives that need to be changed as well. Good, better, best ...... never let it rest
Until my good is better and my better is best
Damn ... flashbacks from childhood
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Day 92 Thank you all for the support! Man the funk was real for awhile but it's gone. The door is closed, the quit is secure and I'm feeling great.
Yesterday was awesome! I took my dog and my girls to Lowes in the morning (usually a trigger), bought flowers, fire ant killer (that's a whole other story- those little fuckers tried to kill me Saturday), and some other shit for the outside. Got home and we planted the flowers (working outside usually a trigger), washed both cars (usually a trigger- getting the picture yet), trimmed and mowed the yard (usually a trigger), worked out, cleaned the garage (usually a trigger), hit the grocery store to buy stuff to grill, grilled (usually a trigger)- I was fucking on it! And during the whole time death dip didn't even cross my mind! I hadn't had a day like that in weeks! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! IT'S A DAY LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN I COULD REALLY ENJOY THE FREEDOM!
Of course NIC the BITCH decided to make an appearance- it wasn't until late last night when I was watching football and baseball and one of my neighbors was over who chewed all the time. We hadn't hung out in over 3 months and there has never been a time that when we hung out we weren't both stuffing our faces with pinches of poison from the cancer can. He noticed I wasn't chewing and immediately asked how long I had been quit- told him proudly that I had been quit for 91 days, free from that evil ass bitch nic. To my surprise he told me he has been quit for 14 days. I told him about KTC and how awesome it has been as a tool to assist in my quit. He wasn't too keen on being a member of a quit site but I think I at least convinced him to check it out as a non member and read through some of the great stuff on the web-site.
Appreciate you all for your continued support- QUIT WITH ALL OF YOU ODAAT!
QLF EDD
QUIT ON! QUIT RIGHT! BURN THE BOATS! FEED THE GOOD WOLF!
Do what it takes to keep quit- it's worth it.
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Day 92 Thank you all for the support! Man the funk was real for awhile but it's gone. The door is closed, the quit is secure and I'm feeling great.
Yesterday was awesome! I took my dog and my girls to Lowes in the morning (usually a trigger), bought flowers, fire ant killer (that's a whole other story- those little fuckers tried to kill me Saturday), and some other shit for the outside. Got home and we planted the flowers (working outside usually a trigger), washed both cars (usually a trigger- getting the picture yet), trimmed and mowed the yard (usually a trigger), worked out, cleaned the garage (usually a trigger), hit the grocery store to buy stuff to grill, grilled (usually a trigger)- I was fucking on it! And during the whole time death dip didn't even cross my mind! I hadn't had a day like that in weeks! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! IT'S A DAY LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN I COULD REALLY ENJOY THE FREEDOM!
Of course NIC the BITCH decided to make an appearance- it wasn't until late last night when I was watching football and baseball and one of my neighbors was over who chewed all the time. We hadn't hung out in over 3 months and there has never been a time that when we hung out we weren't both stuffing our faces with pinches of poison from the cancer can. He noticed I wasn't chewing and immediately asked how long I had been quit- told him proudly that I had been quit for 91 days, free from that evil ass bitch nic. To my surprise he told me he has been quit for 14 days. I told him about KTC and how awesome it has been as a tool to assist in my quit. He wasn't too keen on being a member of a quit site but I think I at least convinced him to check it out as a non member and read through some of the great stuff on the web-site.
Appreciate you all for your continued support- QUIT WITH ALL OF YOU ODAAT!
QLF EDD
QUIT ON! QUIT RIGHT! BURN THE BOATS! FEED THE GOOD WOLF!
Do what it takes to keep quit- it's worth it.
Lots of people come here and just read and ultimately quit. I would suppose that their percentage chance of closing the door and being quit is far less than those who post roll and contribute here, but there are success stories out there. Your chances are always better when you know what to expect and you know that others have done it and didn't die, which is what reading this site will tell you and show you.
Sorry, got off message there. Was just going to tell you that I dig your quit and look forward to seeing you around here for a long time to come. The Countdown to the hall is on.
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Day 92 Thank you all for the support! Man the funk was real for awhile but it's gone. The door is closed, the quit is secure and I'm feeling great.
Yesterday was awesome! I took my dog and my girls to Lowes in the morning (usually a trigger), bought flowers, fire ant killer (that's a whole other story- those little fuckers tried to kill me Saturday), and some other shit for the outside. Got home and we planted the flowers (working outside usually a trigger), washed both cars (usually a trigger- getting the picture yet), trimmed and mowed the yard (usually a trigger), worked out, cleaned the garage (usually a trigger), hit the grocery store to buy stuff to grill, grilled (usually a trigger)- I was fucking on it! And during the whole time death dip didn't even cross my mind! I hadn't had a day like that in weeks! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! IT'S A DAY LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN I COULD REALLY ENJOY THE FREEDOM!
Of course NIC the BITCH decided to make an appearance- it wasn't until late last night when I was watching football and baseball and one of my neighbors was over who chewed all the time. We hadn't hung out in over 3 months and there has never been a time that when we hung out we weren't both stuffing our faces with pinches of poison from the cancer can. He noticed I wasn't chewing and immediately asked how long I had been quit- told him proudly that I had been quit for 91 days, free from that evil ass bitch nic. To my surprise he told me he has been quit for 14 days. I told him about KTC and how awesome it has been as a tool to assist in my quit. He wasn't too keen on being a member of a quit site but I think I at least convinced him to check it out as a non member and read through some of the great stuff on the web-site.
Appreciate you all for your continued support- QUIT WITH ALL OF YOU ODAAT!
QLF EDD
QUIT ON! QUIT RIGHT! BURN THE BOATS! FEED THE GOOD WOLF!
Do what it takes to keep quit- it's worth it.
Lots of people come here and just read and ultimately quit. I would suppose that their percentage chance of closing the door and being quit is far less than those who post roll and contribute here, but there are success stories out there. Your chances are always better when you know what to expect and you know that others have done it and didn't die, which is what reading this site will tell you and show you.
Sorry, got off message there. Was just going to tell you that I dig your quit and look forward to seeing you around here for a long time to come. The Countdown to the hall is on.
FMBM has gotten it from Day 1! Proud to be with you dude.
-
Day 92 Thank you all for the support! Man the funk was real for awhile but it's gone. The door is closed, the quit is secure and I'm feeling great.
Yesterday was awesome! I took my dog and my girls to Lowes in the morning (usually a trigger), bought flowers, fire ant killer (that's a whole other story- those little fuckers tried to kill me Saturday), and some other shit for the outside. Got home and we planted the flowers (working outside usually a trigger), washed both cars (usually a trigger- getting the picture yet), trimmed and mowed the yard (usually a trigger), worked out, cleaned the garage (usually a trigger), hit the grocery store to buy stuff to grill, grilled (usually a trigger)- I was fucking on it! And during the whole time death dip didn't even cross my mind! I hadn't had a day like that in weeks! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! IT'S A DAY LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN I COULD REALLY ENJOY THE FREEDOM!
Of course NIC the BITCH decided to make an appearance- it wasn't until late last night when I was watching football and baseball and one of my neighbors was over who chewed all the time. We hadn't hung out in over 3 months and there has never been a time that when we hung out we weren't both stuffing our faces with pinches of poison from the cancer can. He noticed I wasn't chewing and immediately asked how long I had been quit- told him proudly that I had been quit for 91 days, free from that evil ass bitch nic. To my surprise he told me he has been quit for 14 days. I told him about KTC and how awesome it has been as a tool to assist in my quit. He wasn't too keen on being a member of a quit site but I think I at least convinced him to check it out as a non member and read through some of the great stuff on the web-site.
Appreciate you all for your continued support- QUIT WITH ALL OF YOU ODAAT!
QLF EDD
QUIT ON! QUIT RIGHT! BURN THE BOATS! FEED THE GOOD WOLF!
Do what it takes to keep quit- it's worth it.
Lots of people come here and just read and ultimately quit. I would suppose that their percentage chance of closing the door and being quit is far less than those who post roll and contribute here, but there are success stories out there. Your chances are always better when you know what to expect and you know that others have done it and didn't die, which is what reading this site will tell you and show you.
Sorry, got off message there. Was just going to tell you that I dig your quit and look forward to seeing you around here for a long time to come. The Countdown to the hall is on.
FMBM has gotten it from Day 1! Proud to be with you dude.
Congrats dude...huge accomplishment and I love where your quit is going....one word of caution...100 days does not signify the end of craves or the end of funks. Just keep you head on a swivel like you have.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Found the Cliff Notes version (http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/838211/JohnsonSwingMiss.gif.opt.gif)
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
Had second thoughts about being an asshole while complaining about assholes eh? Good edit.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
Had second thoughts about being an asshole while complaining about assholes eh? Good edit.
Trying to walk the right path
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
Had second thoughts about being an asshole while complaining about assholes eh? Good edit.
Trying to walk the right path
Observation and a whole lot of opinion. Not complaining.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
Had second thoughts about being an asshole while complaining about assholes eh? Good edit.
Trying to walk the right path
Observation and a whole lot of opinion. Not complaining.
Yeah, I read some of it.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Found the Cliff Notes version (http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/838211/JohnsonSwingMiss.gif.opt.gif)
I think you're an asshole, but that link was funny.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Is being a whiny victim or complaining about mean guys an alternative coping mechanism?
Edit- Sorry, I couldn't get through the whole page of nonsense dogshit, but I think I got the gist.
Damn that didn't take long.
Had second thoughts about being an asshole while complaining about assholes eh? Good edit.
Trying to walk the right path
Observation and a whole lot of opinion. Not complaining.
Yeah, I read some of it.
Stevo, I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this. Pretty insightful I think since I took the time to read it even though we disagree on some Quit terminology and that everyone's an addict, I know that I can learn from anyone and you're a Bad Ass Quitter who has my back whether we agree or disagree, the differences are just noise. We're both here to Quit, and help others Quit.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Found the Cliff Notes version (http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/838211/JohnsonSwingMiss.gif.opt.gif)
I think you're an asshole, but that link was funny.
I am an asshole, never claimed to be a hypocrite. And thanks.
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Solid post FMBM
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Solid post FMBM
me likey
:wood
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Solid post FMBM
me likey
:wood
Keep growing that quit FMBM- you're working on recovery now, not just a solid quit. Nice job! Glad to quit with you!
-
DAY 95 I'm starting to understand
I read some shit in MAYbe another group today and it really impacted me and opened my eyes. It was an 'aha' moment. My first response was to defend but after I thought about it I realized I needed to better understand.
So here's my open note to the "badass keyboard internet super duper typer tough guys" and their lackeys.
I need to adjust my thinking and realize this is part of the healing process for some.
Maybe some of the posts/actions of others that I don’t agree with is their coping mechanism for beating this addiction. When quitting a drug people cope in different ways. My aunt who is an alcoholic coped by starting both a caffeine and a nicotine addiction. She abused her body with alcohol for so long that it was ‘better’ for her to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee all day than it was to drink booze because the immediate effects of more alcohol were far more severe and life threatening than the effects of starting a nicotine addiction.
There's more than one reason not to drink alcohol in the first 50-100 days when quitting nicotine – it’s not only because it’s a trigger or some or because it lowers our inhibitions- drinking alcohol can replace your nicotine addiction. Our brains are starving for that dopamine fix and abusing booze can sate that need.
Some people turn to exercise, some people turn to booze, some people stuff their face with food and some people have to fulfill a deeper desire of attention (badasses) and acceptance (lackeys). Some probably do a bit of all and more. ItÂ’s our bodies seeking to replace the dopamine nicotine once gave us. It seems I've tried about everything above.
If you’ve read through any group you’ll eventually see someone say: “Take what you need and leave the rest.” That is the nice way of saying don’t listen to the attention grabbing whores who vomit mostly self-gratifying nonsense to get a rise because that’s how they cope. I need to recognize and understand that some get their fix from the attention (good or bad) and acceptance their posts generate. Maybe that is how they are filling that dopamine void. Where others can fill that void outside of the KTC web-site, others may NEED this web-site to get their dopamine fix. Although we don’t agree with what they say, maybe it’s time we recognize it, understand what it is, give them their attention fix and then move on because by doing so we are helping them and that is what we are here to do.
How to spot these internet tough guys: These tough guys call a lot of people names and have been called a few choice names themselves. ItÂ’s all part of getting their fix- thatÂ’s why you will see them at times go to great lengths for some sort of response, recognition or approval. And they wonÂ’t stop until the get it. Their desire for attention blinds them from a desire to help others quit nicotine. It's all really self-absorbed but hey, focus on your quit first right, then you can focus on others.
Much like some of us became expert ninja dippers, these internet badasses have become expert shit show, dumpster fire creating posters. You see them talk about themselves in the 3rd person or post questions like: “Can I jump in on this?” or “Do you want me to take this one?” or “Do you really want to go there?” You can watch them run back to their own quit group during the mayhem they either created or fueled searching for more of the attention they crave. You can also see (if you read through enough of their posts) that once their level of recognition and attention has been met they usually calm their post down and actually write something that is well-reasoned with intent to help. They are able to do this because their brain is no longer searching for that fix.
It use to piss me off to see guys in their own groups egging these individuals on by writing shit like, “Wait until so and so reads this” or “I can’t wait for so and so to get on here” or “So and so is going to have a field day with this” but now I understand that these guys are helping their brothers in quit stay quit by feeding their coping mechanism. Keep in mind these guys aren't lackeys- they are just guys that have recognized the need to feed this coping mechanism. Look at their posts, you can tell the difference between someone helping the internet badass get his fix and someone looking for acceptance from said internet badass.
That got me thinking about the lackeys. Even the lackeys that follow these ‘internet badasses’ around serve their purpose- they provide just enough attention while receiving acceptance in return. They feed off each other. You can see it plain as day. I believe someone described it as sharks in the water- they smell blood and they all come a runnin'. The internet tough guy will post an attention grabbing statement and one of his lackeys will come along and pile onto it, which in turns reinforces the 'badass' to continue because it got the desired effect of attention. It's a cycle of attention, acceptance, attention, acceptance etc. That's why you see it snow ball out of control.
Maybe the internet tough guys can get what they need and still help those that need help. There is a distinction between constructive criticism and plain ol' criticism. The distinction lies within the results they create. ItÂ’s easy to merely criticize, which is more times than not, demotivating. ItÂ’s much more difficult to make a point it in a constructive manner creating a positive result (ie. helping someone quit or stay quit).
That doesnÂ’t mean you canÂ’t be negative, it just means the negativity has to be presented in a manner that results in a positive result. A difficult thing to do. ItÂ’s not from a lack of intelligence that some folks on here donÂ’t usually attempt to be constructive. ItÂ’s because they are looking for their fix. We are all selfish, because we are all addicts. We use to selfishly rush off, or slink off, to stuff our faces with poison. These internet badasses quickly and selfishly spew a bunch of verbal diarrhea because it gets a reaction and it gets them their fix. If it doesn't immediately get a reaction just sit back and watch because they are going to ratchet up the intensity of their posts. It's them reaching out for help- that's what I need to understand. Recognize it early, tell them what a badass they are and then move on.
Some of these badass internet posters have posted some very good stuff after they've received their adequate amount of attention. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a constructive criticism approach first because itÂ’s too easy to spew the shock jock material and openly criticize. ItÂ’s much more difficult to constructively criticize because that means the focus is on someone or something other than themselves. The challenge is to be able to use both positive and negative comments in a manner that shows you are fighting on the same team. It may mean you do not get the attention you desire right away because you have to think about how to say something in a way that motivates someone to do something better and for the benefit of the whole. This is more difficult to do but the 'fix' from doing this is longer lasting.
Giving is getting.
Then again Mheybe I'm all wrong, and some of these guys are just bad human beings and enjoy hurting small animals.
So I might not piss on some of these guys if they were on fire but I'd still quit with them and help them stay quit if they were on fire. After all I am here to help quitters quit and stay quit.
Damn, this intro post helped me get my dopamine fix!
Selfishly yours in quit!
Quit on.
Solid post FMBM
me likey
:wood
Keep growing that quit FMBM- you're working on recovery now, not just a solid quit. Nice job! Glad to quit with you!
Steve,
The response elicited by your observation serves only to prove your hypothesis. Solid post, brother. Quite simply, the best explanation I've ever read for some of the behavior exhibited on these pages. Damn proud to be quit with you today.
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
Holy Hell, that went by fast! Way to be Steve-O! Enjoy your day but make sure you make it back here tomorrow! Well Done!!!!
You are an honorary ;Ironman: !
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
Holy Hell, that went by fast! Way to be Steve-O! Enjoy your day but make sure you make it back here tomorrow! Well Done!!!!
You are an honorary ;Ironman: !
Proud to quit with you Stevo!! Congrats on 100... lets push towards 200 now!!
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
Holy Hell, that went by fast! Way to be Steve-O! Enjoy your day but make sure you make it back here tomorrow! Well Done!!!!
You are an honorary ;Ironman: !
Proud to quit with you Stevo!! Congrats on 100... lets push towards 200 now!!
Congrats on 100. Thanks for reaching out and supporting this youngster who is not too far behind.
-
Nice job on a solid quit and thanks for your perspective. See you in roll tomorrow.
-
congrats bro
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
Holy Hell, that went by fast! Way to be Steve-O! Enjoy your day but make sure you make it back here tomorrow! Well Done!!!!
You are an honorary ;Ironman: !
Proud to quit with you Stevo!! Congrats on 100... lets push towards 200 now!!
Congrats on 100. Thanks for reaching out and supporting this youngster who is not too far behind.
Appreciate the support from all of you! Thank you!
Quit on. It's better than the alternative.
Quit with you
-
The first of many milestones achieved today. Never let another dissuade you from your quit.
Own it daily and never forget the nic bitch is hunting you more than ever.
'oh yeah'
Hell yeah FMBM! Enjoy your day, and see you at 101 tomorrow!
Congrats, FM! Rinse and repeat.
(I find Tworts avatar very disturbing)
Very solid quit. Stay with us and keep saving lives, most importantly your own.
Excellent job Steve!!
Holy Hell, that went by fast! Way to be Steve-O! Enjoy your day but make sure you make it back here tomorrow! Well Done!!!!
You are an honorary ;Ironman: !
Proud to quit with you Stevo!! Congrats on 100... lets push towards 200 now!!
Congrats on 100. Thanks for reaching out and supporting this youngster who is not too far behind.
Appreciate the support from all of you! Thank you!
Quit on. It's better than the alternative.
Quit with you
Sorry I'm late. No one has put more words into their quit over the last 100 days than you. You've taken this real serious....and now you have found yourself in the middle of a serious quit...Congrats!
-
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! THANK YOU KTC TO PROVIDING A WONDERFUL MEDIUM FOR QUITTING.
DAY 144 OWN YOUR QUIT, FEAR IS WEAK
YOU HAVE TO OWN IT, KTC IS THE MEDIUM and IT'S FUCKING AWESOME IF YOU DECIDE TO USE IT
KTC provides a wonderful medium for quitting and quitters. KTC has a proven method, it has great information available, it has resources and tools and it has many dedicated individuals that can help guide you to the freedom from nicotine. It's still up to you to follow the method, read the information and use the resources. It's through your actions and/or non-action that determines whether you quit, stay quit or educate yourself on nicotine. KTC has helped fuel many powerful quits but it's those individuals who have put the time in that get the most out.
KTC is a integral part of why I'm still quit and it will remain a part of my quit for the foreseeable future and I'm thankful a site like this exists. I rely on that daily promise, it means something to me, that daily promise has help me remember that the decision was already made- a decision to stay nicotine free for that day. Being back home for Thanksgiving I've been out drinking with my brother and friends and the bitch nicotine was prevalent everywhere, I had craves, but in my mind I told myself I made a commitment today to not use nicotine so it's not even an option. I can't tell you how many times I've had that internal conversation in my head but this week traveling back home for the holidays, it's happened almost daily. And I can tell you that I'm extremely thankful that I'm not sneaking off to stuff my face with rat poison to get my fix.
FEAR MONGERING- IT'S WEAK
This is about being QUIT but a good parallel would be religion. You have folks all over the spectrum- those that aren't believers and those radical religious fanatics. Just because someone isn't a 'churchgoer' doesn't mean they are any less of a "Christian". To assume that is to pronounce your ignorance.
There's been a lot of activity on Srans Intro page about him leaving KTC. It's a good read with a lot of passion. On the one hand you have people thanking him and wishing him well. On the other hand you have the "if you leave KTC you'll be damned, only by staying will you be saved!". FUCK THAT- that is nothing but FEAR talking. There's only one thing that controls whether you are quit or not- and that's you. And everyone is different. Quitting/staying quit and KTC are not mutually exclusive.
The act of attending 'church' doesn't make you any more 'Christian' than the next guy. The physical act of attending 'church' isn't going to 'save' you, nor is the act of not attending 'church' going to mean you are damned. 'Church' is a great place to build a foundation and understanding- it's a great place for 'lost souls' to find direction, be educated and be shown 'the right path to take' but it won't walk that path for you. And the number of times you 'attend' church doesn't innately make you a 'better' Christian. SAME GOES FOR QUIT.
Logging onto KTC and posting roll does not provide quit through osmosis. KTC does not make you quit, KTC will not make you stay quit, KTC does not educate you on nicotine- KTC only provides what you are willing to earn. People have quit nicotine before KTC and people will quit nicotine after KTC, and people can remain QUIT after KTC. KTC makes it easier to quit if you are willing to follow the method, read the information and honor your word. KTC is a great platform on which to build confidence and understanding, and to help quit but it comers down to you- it always comes back to you and your decisions.
Here's another revelation: BIG TOBACCO didn't put any cat turds in your mouth so quit fucking blaming BIG TOBACCO on your fucking problem- try looking in the fucking mirror instead. NO MATTER WHAT, IT COMES DOWN TO YOU and YOUR DECISION.
A true test of character isn't doing the right thing when everyone is watching, it's doing the right thing when no one is watching. Understanding your responsible for the consequences of your actions because you control your actions.
Addiction is a scaring thing, so fear mongering is understandable. Protect what has helped you stamp down your addiction. KTC has helped many, but it only helps those who help themselves. The beauty of KTC is also all the dedicated BAQs that stick around and continue to help others walk down the path of quit. I'm thankful today for KTC and the folks to help make this a great place to quit.
Quit with you all today and thank you to the folks that put this site together and poured their time and energy into making a great place for people to learn to quit and stay quit.
Quit on fuckers. Quit on.
-
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! THANK YOU KTC TO PROVIDING A WONDERFUL MEDIUM FOR QUITTING.
DAY 144 OWN YOUR QUIT, FEAR IS WEAK
YOU HAVE TO OWN IT, KTC IS THE MEDIUM and IT'S FUCKING AWESOME IF YOU DECIDE TO USE IT
KTC provides a wonderful medium for quitting and quitters. KTC has a proven method, it has great information available, it has resources and tools and it has many dedicated individuals that can help guide you to the freedom from nicotine. It's still up to you to follow the method, read the information and use the resources. It's through your actions and/or non-action that determines whether you quit, stay quit or educate yourself on nicotine. KTC has helped fuel many powerful quits but it's those individuals who have put the time in that get the most out.
KTC is a integral part of why I'm still quit and it will remain a part of my quit for the foreseeable future and I'm thankful a site like this exists. I rely on that daily promise, it means something to me, that daily promise has help me remember that the decision was already made- a decision to stay nicotine free for that day. Being back home for Thanksgiving I've been out drinking with my brother and friends and the bitch nicotine was prevalent everywhere, I had craves, but in my mind I told myself I made a commitment today to not use nicotine so it's not even an option. I can't tell you how many times I've had that internal conversation in my head but this week traveling back home for the holidays, it's happened almost daily. And I can tell you that I'm extremely thankful that I'm not sneaking off to stuff my face with rat poison to get my fix.
FEAR MONGERING- IT'S WEAK
This is about being QUIT but a good parallel would be religion. You have folks all over the spectrum- those that aren't believers and those radical religious fanatics. Just because someone isn't a 'churchgoer' doesn't mean they are any less of a "Christian". To assume that is to pronounce your ignorance.
There's been a lot of activity on Srans Intro page about him leaving KTC. It's a good read with a lot of passion. On the one hand you have people thanking him and wishing him well. On the other hand you have the "if you leave KTC you'll be damned, only by staying will you be saved!". FUCK THAT- that is nothing but FEAR talking. There's only one thing that controls whether you are quit or not- and that's you. And everyone is different. Quitting/staying quit and KTC are not mutually exclusive.
The act of attending 'church' doesn't make you any more 'Christian' than the next guy. The physical act of attending 'church' isn't going to 'save' you, nor is the act of not attending 'church' going to mean you are damned. 'Church' is a great place to build a foundation and understanding- it's a great place for 'lost souls' to find direction, be educated and be shown 'the right path to take' but it won't walk that path for you. And the number of times you 'attend' church doesn't innately make you a 'better' Christian. SAME GOES FOR QUIT.
Logging onto KTC and posting roll does not provide quit through osmosis. KTC does not make you quit, KTC will not make you stay quit, KTC does not educate you on nicotine- KTC only provides what you are willing to earn. People have quit nicotine before KTC and people will quit nicotine after KTC, and people can remain QUIT after KTC. KTC makes it easier to quit if you are willing to follow the method, read the information and honor your word. KTC is a great platform on which to build confidence and understanding, and to help quit but it comers down to you- it always comes back to you and your decisions.
Here's another revelation: BIG TOBACCO didn't put any cat turds in your mouth so quit fucking blaming BIG TOBACCO on your fucking problem- try looking in the fucking mirror instead. NO MATTER WHAT, IT COMES DOWN TO YOU and YOUR DECISION.
A true test of character isn't doing the right thing when everyone is watching, it's doing the right thing when no one is watching. Understanding your responsible for the consequences of your actions because you control your actions.
Addiction is a scaring thing, so fear mongering is understandable. Protect what has helped you stamp down your addiction. KTC has helped many, but it only helps those who help themselves. The beauty of KTC is also all the dedicated BAQs that stick around and continue to help others walk down the path of quit. I'm thankful today for KTC and the folks to help make this a great place to quit.
Quit with you all today and thank you to the folks that put this site together and poured their time and energy into making a great place for people to learn to quit and stay quit.
Quit on fuckers. Quit on.
Great post. Thank you.
-
DAY 157 MOTHER FUCK
157 days- it's really not that long but at times it feels longer than it is- those are the days that cruise right along without much of a thought about the nic bitch. Then the nic bitch whore comes calling with a deep, deep crave- I fucking hate it. I keep battling some of the same triggers over and over- stress probably being the biggest ones. Shit hitting the fan at work and the nic bitch sits on my shoulder whispering her poisonous thoughts into my ear. "It'll be better if you just get in the car, go to the gas station and lock in a big fat lipper". Fuck her and her lies- last thing I want is to be sitting in another Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor's office wondering if I have oral cancer.
Other craves from triggers have almost stopped completely- but the stress trigger- the trigger that ALWAYS sent me pinching for some poison has hardly faded. But what can I expect? I abused the nic bitch and used her as my crutch for so many mother fucking wasted years that 157 days of clean living is barely putting a dent into the number of days of abusing the poison. So how can expect this shit to be easy? That sneaky little temptress knows exactly when to come calling and I keep cunt punting her to the fucking curb BUT FUCK it gets tiring sometimes but not as tiring as chemo I'm sure. I'm fighting to keep the shit out of my mouth EDD and sometimes it feels like Im' fighting every fucking minute so I don't have to fight oral cancer. It's worth it. It damn sure is worth the fight.
I have to realize this just isn't something that is going to go away. It's something that is going to stick me with me for fucking ever and a day. Only way to battle it is one fucking day at a time and keep getting stronger through quit and knowledge of how to battle this nasty little cuntbitch.
Mother fuck I'm going to throat punch a mother fucker- and the only person that deserves it is me for ever putting that shit in my mouth and then to continually put that shit in my mouth.
That was the past but I still get fucking pissed about it at times. Gotta focus on now- I'm quit and being quit is a damn good feeling, better than any feeling that time wasting, murderous, dirty little fucking cuntwhore nic bitch can ever provide.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I feel better now for getting that out. Crave curbed.
Quit the fuck on.
-
DAY 157 MOTHER FUCK
157 days- it's really not that long but at times it feels longer than it is- those are the days that cruise right along without much of a thought about the nic bitch. Then the nic bitch whore comes calling with a deep, deep crave- I fucking hate it. I keep battling some of the same triggers over and over- stress probably being the biggest ones. Shit hitting the fan at work and the nic bitch sits on my shoulder whispering her poisonous thoughts into my ear. "It'll be better if you just get in the car, go to the gas station and lock in a big fat lipper". Fuck her and her lies- last thing I want is to be sitting in another Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor's office wondering if I have oral cancer.
Other craves from triggers have almost stopped completely- but the stress trigger- the trigger that ALWAYS sent me pinching for some poison has hardly faded. But what can I expect? I abused the nic bitch and used her as my crutch for so many mother fucking wasted years that 157 days of clean living is barely putting a dent into the number of days of abusing the poison. So how can expect this shit to be easy? That sneaky little temptress knows exactly when to come calling and I keep cunt punting her to the fucking curb BUT FUCK it gets tiring sometimes but not as tiring as chemo I'm sure. I'm fighting to keep the shit out of my mouth EDD and sometimes it feels like Im' fighting every fucking minute so I don't have to fight oral cancer. It's worth it. It damn sure is worth the fight.
I have to realize this just isn't something that is going to go away. It's something that is going to stick me with me for fucking ever and a day. Only way to battle it is one fucking day at a time and keep getting stronger through quit and knowledge of how to battle this nasty little cuntbitch.
Mother fuck I'm going to throat punch a mother fucker- and the only person that deserves it is me for ever putting that shit in my mouth and then to continually put that shit in my mouth.
That was the past but I still get fucking pissed about it at times. Gotta focus on now- I'm quit and being quit is a damn good feeling, better than any feeling that time wasting, murderous, dirty little fucking cuntwhore nic bitch can ever provide.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I feel better now for getting that out. Crave curbed.
Quit the fuck on.
I'll Quit Like Fuck with this dude any day. Way to work that shit out and use the site as intended!
-
DAY 157 MOTHER FUCK
157 days- it's really not that long but at times it feels longer than it is- those are the days that cruise right along without much of a thought about the nic bitch. Then the nic bitch whore comes calling with a deep, deep crave- I fucking hate it. I keep battling some of the same triggers over and over- stress probably being the biggest ones. Shit hitting the fan at work and the nic bitch sits on my shoulder whispering her poisonous thoughts into my ear. "It'll be better if you just get in the car, go to the gas station and lock in a big fat lipper". Fuck her and her lies- last thing I want is to be sitting in another Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor's office wondering if I have oral cancer.
Other craves from triggers have almost stopped completely- but the stress trigger- the trigger that ALWAYS sent me pinching for some poison has hardly faded. But what can I expect? I abused the nic bitch and used her as my crutch for so many mother fucking wasted years that 157 days of clean living is barely putting a dent into the number of days of abusing the poison. So how can expect this shit to be easy? That sneaky little temptress knows exactly when to come calling and I keep cunt punting her to the fucking curb BUT FUCK it gets tiring sometimes but not as tiring as chemo I'm sure. I'm fighting to keep the shit out of my mouth EDD and sometimes it feels like Im' fighting every fucking minute so I don't have to fight oral cancer. It's worth it. It damn sure is worth the fight.
I have to realize this just isn't something that is going to go away. It's something that is going to stick me with me for fucking ever and a day. Only way to battle it is one fucking day at a time and keep getting stronger through quit and knowledge of how to battle this nasty little cuntbitch.
Mother fuck I'm going to throat punch a mother fucker- and the only person that deserves it is me for ever putting that shit in my mouth and then to continually put that shit in my mouth.
That was the past but I still get fucking pissed about it at times. Gotta focus on now- I'm quit and being quit is a damn good feeling, better than any feeling that time wasting, murderous, dirty little fucking cuntwhore nic bitch can ever provide.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I feel better now for getting that out. Crave curbed.
Quit the fuck on.
I'll Quit Like Fuck with this dude any day. Way to work that shit out and use the site as intended!
We can never have just one. We must remind ourselves each day of this. Proud to quit with you. Keep the fight.
-
Day 175 QUIT
First birthday in over a decade that the nic bitch won't be involved and it's a great feeling. I told myself I'd quit before I was 30- that didn't work out too well, told myself time and again that I'd quit before my next birthday etc. etc. etc. and it never happened- usually because New Years is so close so of course the nic bitch would rationalize that I may as well wait for the New Year and then quit. That shit never happened. There is no special day to quit but every day quit is special.
Now I can finally say I'm quit on a birthday and it's fanfuckingtastic.
Quit on!
-
Day 175 QUIT
First birthday in over a decade that the nic bitch won't be involved and it's a great feeling. I told myself I'd quit before I was 30- that didn't work out too well, told myself time and again that I'd quit before my next birthday etc. etc. etc. and it never happened- usually because New Years is so close so of course the nic bitch would rationalize that I may as well wait for the New Year and then quit. That shit never happened. There is no special day to quit but every day quit is special.
Now I can finally say I'm quit on a birthday and it's fanfuckingtastic.
Quit on!
Nice ForMeByMe! Keep it up!
-
Happy birthday FrogManBunnyMuffin! Way to be quit and show us all what QLF is on the daily!
-
Day 182 Read this a long time ago but thought about it recently and I believe it fits in nicely with quitting.
"Attitude" by Chuck Swindol
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way...we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitude."
Quitting and your attitude go hand in hand. The right attitude and the freedom from nicotine can be yours. No excuses, no bullshit.
Quit on.
-
DAY 183 Putting this here for reference.
“The Law of Karma is also called the Law of Cause and Effect, Action and Reaction and: as you sow, so shall you reap.” ― Sham Hinduja
I'm sure Lipi isn't the first polarizing figure at KTC and he won't be the last either. The annals of KTC is filled with similar rhetoric. There are a lot of people butt hurt over his departure making statements about leaving KTC (something Lipi would himself call a planned cave) and a lot of people are calling for accountability from the admins/mods- they want answers- so I started looking for answers.
Found under "Board Guidelines": boardrules/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/boardrules/) you will find "A Statement From The Administrators" topic/1006018/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1006018/1/#new) (I've cut and pasted the shit that's relevant to this matter below)
You might not agree with this decision but I don't agree, nor always follow the legal limit being .08 but if I get busted blaming others for my actions won't solve anything.
These are the words of an administrator from 2010:
"On the internet, there are those who like to project a "badass" image of themselves via their "shocking" posts, or "tough guy" stances and bullying tactics. We've seen it before, we will see it again. These types like to push the envelope and see how far they can go before they get the response they have been hoping to receive. These people like to say things through their keyboard, that in real life, face to face, they would never have the guts to say. These people are called trolls. Unfortunately, many times the trolls on the site are real life quitters. We don't like to feed the trolls, but eventually we have to deal with them.
We allow quite a bit of discussion that involves denouncing the Administrators and Moderators, and some of the actions that we take. We don't censor what is written. We allow life to go on. But threaten to disrupt the quits of others, threaten the integrity of this site, and we will take swift action to put a stop to it. Make no mistake.
We will deal with the trolls. We will take steps to protect this site from their harmful and disruptive behavior. This site is larger than any one person or group of people. We want to see this site continue its growth. We want to see the number of successful quits continue to grow. We want to see the camaraderie between people continue to build and develop into real life friendships. To do that, we have to ensure that the site is accessible and acceptable to the majority, not the minority who thrive on discourse and/or deviation.
We can't be all things to all people. This is the way we choose to run our site. We have very few written rules, but we still will react to issues that aren't covered by the rules. Don't mistake our lack of rules for carte blanche anything goes. We understand if everyone doesn't like what we do on our site. We don't want people to leave the site because of this, but we understand.
Signed,
The Administrators"
Although the wording is unambiguous- it is clearly subjective as it relates to banning someone.
Sifting through all the comments and posts there are at minimum two things that a consensus agrees on. 1.) Lipi helped a lot people's quits on this site. 2.) Lipi "push the envelope". Both of these have been documented all over these pages from folks on both sides of the matter.
The admins and mods are being asked to be accountable for their actions.
Shouldn't we also be held accountable for our actions? This wasn't a knee jerk reaction. This wasn't a 'no tolerance' one and done stance taken by the admins/mods.
It's always easiest to blame others for faults of their own. Displacing the blame, the entitlement, the excuses. Nauseating, pathetic, laughable.
Take some fucking responsibility for your actions, if you quit then you know how to do just that. Now apply it to other parts of your life.
-
DAY 183 Putting this here for reference.
“The Law of Karma is also called the Law of Cause and Effect, Action and Reaction and: as you sow, so shall you reap.” ― Sham Hinduja
I'm sure Lipi isn't the first polarizing figure at KTC and he won't be the last either. The annals of KTC is filled with similar rhetoric. There are a lot of people butt hurt over his departure making statements about leaving KTC (something Lipi would himself call a planned cave) and a lot of people are calling for accountability from the admins/mods- they want answers- so I started looking for answers.
Found under "Board Guidelines": boardrules/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/boardrules/) you will find "A Statement From The Administrators" topic/1006018/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1006018/1/#new) (I've cut and pasted the shit that's relevant to this matter below)
You might not agree with this decision but I don't agree, nor always follow the legal limit being .08 but if I get busted blaming others for my actions won't solve anything.
These are the words of an administrator from 2010:
"On the internet, there are those who like to project a "badass" image of themselves via their "shocking" posts, or "tough guy" stances and bullying tactics. We've seen it before, we will see it again. These types like to push the envelope and see how far they can go before they get the response they have been hoping to receive. These people like to say things through their keyboard, that in real life, face to face, they would never have the guts to say. These people are called trolls. Unfortunately, many times the trolls on the site are real life quitters. We don't like to feed the trolls, but eventually we have to deal with them.
We allow quite a bit of discussion that involves denouncing the Administrators and Moderators, and some of the actions that we take. We don't censor what is written. We allow life to go on. But threaten to disrupt the quits of others, threaten the integrity of this site, and we will take swift action to put a stop to it. Make no mistake.
We will deal with the trolls. We will take steps to protect this site from their harmful and disruptive behavior. This site is larger than any one person or group of people. We want to see this site continue its growth. We want to see the number of successful quits continue to grow. We want to see the camaraderie between people continue to build and develop into real life friendships. To do that, we have to ensure that the site is accessible and acceptable to the majority, not the minority who thrive on discourse and/or deviation.
We can't be all things to all people. This is the way we choose to run our site. We have very few written rules, but we still will react to issues that aren't covered by the rules. Don't mistake our lack of rules for carte blanche anything goes. We understand if everyone doesn't like what we do on our site. We don't want people to leave the site because of this, but we understand.
Signed,
The Administrators"
Although the wording is unambiguous- it is clearly subjective as it relates to banning someone.
Sifting through all the comments and posts there are at minimum two things that a consensus agrees on. 1.) Lipi helped a lot people's quits on this site. 2.) Lipi "push the envelope". Both of these have been documented all over these pages from folks on both sides of the matter.
The admins and mods are being asked to be accountable for their actions.
Shouldn't we also be held accountable for our actions? This wasn't a knee jerk reaction. This wasn't a 'no tolerance' one and done stance taken by the admins/mods.
It's always easiest to blame others for faults of their own. Displacing the blame, the entitlement, the excuses. Nauseating, pathetic, laughable.
Take some fucking responsibility for your actions, if you quit then you know how to do just that. Now apply it to other parts of your life.
At what point of the emotionally charge verbal or written ass beating does 'your guiding hand' become the 2x4- thus knocking the horse out instead of just leading him to water??
Gotta know when to say when.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
200 days of winning FMBM, not bad at all!
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
200 days of winning FMBM, not bad at all!
Keep it up man. I'm very proud of you.
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
200 days of winning FMBM, not bad at all!
Keep it up man. I'm very proud of you.
200 days is pretty damn awesome! Way to go! Excellent work!
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
200 days of winning FMBM, not bad at all!
Keep it up man. I'm very proud of you.
200 days is pretty damn awesome! Way to go! Excellent work!
200 days in the sun. Congrats!
-
Congrats on your first 200 days of Freedom Steve-O! 'band' 'party2' Well Done!
Appreciate it Jerry! Everyday is great day without that shit running and ruining my life, just a little more special on a milestone.
Big Congrats!!
FM you are solid brotha. Big quit you have built here with a lot of badass followers. Revel in this. Congrats on hitting that 2nd floor.
Congrats on the 200. I'm 28 days behind ya.
Congrats, man.
200 days of winning FMBM, not bad at all!
Keep it up man. I'm very proud of you.
200 days is pretty damn awesome! Way to go! Excellent work!
200 days in the sun. Congrats!
Thank you all for your support and shouts out! It hasn't always been easy but it's getting easier every day and it's damn sure worth it!
-
Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD
-
Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD
Gratz bro!
-
Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD
Gratz bro!
Congrats, slowly it does get easier; you have the tools and the knowledge to use them.
-
Just realized you hit the 3rd floor the other day. Congrats man!
Quit with you EDD
Gratz bro!
Congrats, slowly it does get easier; you have the tools and the knowledge to use them.
He'll yes 707! Way to be man! Proud of you.
-
From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:
Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.
Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.
For what it's worth:
that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust
all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.
i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit
I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.
Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.
Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.
To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!
'facepalm''
-
From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:
Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.
Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.
For what it's worth:
that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust
all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.
i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit
I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.
Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.
Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.
To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!
'facepalm''
^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^
I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.
Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.
P
-
From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:
Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.
Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.
For what it's worth:
that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust
all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.
i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit
I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.
Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.
Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.
To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!
'facepalm''
^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^
I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.
Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.
P
Just to clarify Pinched, Steve caved. He pissed away almost a year of freedom. For what? Pathetic and sad. I thought he wanted this. NAFAR.
-
From October ... it seems FMBM really didn't burn the boat, or feed the other wolf:
Early this morning I made a decision to stop fighting this battle.
Mad respect for all of you that continue to be strong. Congrats to all of you that will surpass that 1 year mark by proving you can battle through adversity while putting up +1s.
For what it's worth:
that shit is more disgusting now than it ever was before- there was no pleasure in it. just disgust
all the built up tension that I thought would ease with choosing to use never did ease; the opposite occurred: I can feel the stress and tension that decision has put on my body and it's awful.
i like the person I am quit more than I like the person who is a user of that nasty shit
I'm not sure whether I'll post up or if I'll continue this journey on my own. One thing is for certain, I need time to process all of this shit, I need to get in a stronger place mentally and that's not going to happen here- at least not right now.
Early congrats again to all of you strong motherfuckers. Keep up the good fight- it's worth it.
Shocked that a dude at 350 can just piss and shit on his brothers like this. It never ceases to amaze me that people just say, "Fuck it" in the face of a craving. Those people ... they lack integrity, plain and simple. Carrying out a promise IS integrity. I thought you had some Steve. I've been fooled before though.
To all the others reading this ... there is no reset button. If you promise your brothers, you don't use. How? You simply don't put the shit in your system. Fuck this noise about the nic bitch and cravings ... anyone with a set of marbles can crush both of those. If you care about your brothers, your word as a quitter, and use the tools at your disposal, you CAN'T fail!
'facepalm''
^^ Quitters are either all in or they are not.^^
I find it amazing that anyone would take a successful path and decide that they are "ready" to walk alone this early. I know that I stopped using previously but since my quit started I have never failed to at a minimum post roll on my sheet daily. Granted there will be drama here and there, but just like life that drama passes and we continue to quit. I will be back again tomorrow and will continue that path until I can swear that I no longer need anyone's help in my quit life. FMBM I cannot support your decision because I just don't get it but I hope you are able to stay quit. You also have my cell number too.
Today I choose to post roll and promise to quit and support my brothers and sisters here.
P
Just to clarify Pinched, Steve caved. He pissed away almost a year of freedom. For what? Pathetic and sad. I thought he wanted this. NAFAR.
Perhaps life just got to hard to bear by itself...and he needed his addiction as a blanket of security.
I am certainly glad that nothing traumatic happened during my quit. I certainly never had caving as an option.
PROOF that all of us are one bad decision away from being just another addict. Cancer must not scare you at all. It scares the fuck out of me.
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Steve, reading your intro was what caused me to sign up here. Although I'm sad you chose to start killing yourself again, I am glad for the wisdom you shared, if you believed it or not. I plan on using it EDD.
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You posted support in the Anxiety thread so you know it's out there. Saw you post in Alc Quit as well. Yeah this shit is hard especially when you are quitting alc as well and/or are having increased anxiety issues. Who said this shit should be easy? Given two choices, is the right path ever the easy one? Jump back in while you still can.
You did well posting in your intro for the first 180 days and then went silent. Was that when your quit starting getting full of anxiety? That's my word, yours were tension and stress. If your choice is to continue to use, don't you think regret and declining self-respect will endlessly eat at you? Throw the risk of cancer on top and that's a shit sandwich with you in the middle. Make the right call and get back in here. Post a day 1 and figure out what's going on with professional help. Plenty of doctors and meds out there and there's no shame in pursuing. Plenty of self inflicted shame in abusing again. You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out.
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I'm no expert but feels to me like life might be stacking up on you man. I know that when I feel that way I just want to stick my head in the sand and make the world go away. We may not know exactly what you are going thru but PM some one please? Hope you find some clarity and come back. Support is here, even if some days shit is piled so high we don't even know where to start...
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There is no endgame. Every day is like day 1. Never, ever let your guard down.
Keep on rolling.
That's right you have to QLF EDD.
Some days are easier than others. There have been days when I've gone hours without even thinking about it and there have been times where I've thought about death dip and quitting for hours. The one constant is the more time I spend on KTC and on the Kakoa app the stronger my QUIT feels, and the times where I have bad craves this site helps and so do all the folks on the Kakoa app.
Reading other people's stories, hearing about their own struggles and victories all help to strengthen the QUIT. Helping others adds to the accountability aspect of the QUIT.
Above all I know I'm making the right decision every day I wake up and choose not to use nicotine for the day. Making the right decision equals less stress.
It feels good to be QUIT because being QUIT is the right thing to be.
Bump.
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DAY 45: The Two Wolves- A Native American Cherokee Story
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
If you romanticize about dipping you are feeding the crave. It you dwell on it, feel sorry for yourself because you can't have one etc. You are feeding the addiction. For too long we have fed our addiction everyday for years. This is why we have such bad cravings at times- the addiction that was once fed everyday is now starving and just like any starving animal it will go to great lengths to be fed. It will fight with everything it has to eat.
We fed this thing for so long that it's powerful- it got so strong that it can hold on for a long, long time. That's why we get cravings at day 50, day 90 or day 180 etc.
It's also why we need to continue to feed our QUIT, because as our QUIT gets stronger those cravings get weaker and further apart.
Much like you fed your addiction every day, it's equally important to 'feed your quit' every damn day by reading different things on KTC, posting roll, exchanging numbers, helping others, listening to the old time quitters, getting on live chat etc.
This is why you hear old time quitters say:
read, read and then read some more
drink the kool aid
get numbers from other quitters
get on live chat
post early and every day
support other groups
help others
The people that know are telling us to feed the right wolf, and do this EDD, ODAAT. We didn't build this addiction because we dipped poison once, we built it because we continued to feed that addiction every day. If you want to be QUIT then you have to continue to build on that QUIT by feeding it everyday.
This is why it's easy to spot a future caver. It's easy to tell if they are feeding their quit sufficiently or not. The guys that post whenever they want, the guys that don't have any numbers or respond to PMs. The post roll and run guys. They aren't doing enough. They have cave written all over them.
Whichever wolf you feed will win.
Feed your quit EDD.
QUIT ON FUCKERS, QUIT ON.
Nice post, boat burner.
Right fucking on! Love this post
Good shit. Your quit demands to be fed every bit as much as your addiction does.
Nicely put brother! Your posts are so deep I need water wings to read them.
LOL Gmann- you can call me a boat burner all day, everyday. In fact you can call me anything you want as long as you never call me a caver.
Who is stronger: a lone wolf or the pack?
Great post.
Research burn your boats. Gmann just gave you quite the compliment.
Scowich-
Gmann told me about boat burners and it is a complement to be called one! I really enjoy the story behind that as well. For anyone that wants to read it (it's worth it), here it is:
http://www.johnboe.com/articles/burn_your_boat.html (http://www.johnboe.com/articles/burn_your_boat.html)
Burn the boats. Feed the right wolf. Do what it takes to stay quit.
Bump.
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GREAT NEWS AND RELIEF!!
Got back from the ENT (ear, nose and throat doctor); he checked out my mouth and then put a scope through my nose, down through the nasal passage to check out the back part of my mouth and throat. EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT GOOD. Definitely irritated but he said that could be from dipping, drainage from allergies, breathing through the mouth at night and possibly from thrush (which I'm taking medicine for). I talked to him about how I've been quit for 59 days and he said it could take longer for the mouth to recover from the years of dipping. He also talked about how bad oral cancer is from a disfigurement standpoint, let alone death. He said it's a "very debilitating and disfiguring" disease. Then said that I'm lucky that everything looks good and that not everyone he sees is so lucky.
I am lucky that I dodge a bullet after years of dipping. From here on out it won't have anything to do with good luck. It'll be because I choose not to dip. I choose my life, my wife, my kids, my parents- everything over putting that shit in my mouth again.
NAFAR.
Good news. Good for you. A lot of guys would celebrate by diving back into a can. But not you, because you're a badass quitter.
Proud of you. Keep the focus.
Glad to hear. You got a pass, this time.
Keep up the good Quit man.
Awesome news. Keep it rollin EDD!
Never be here again brother. Stay quit every damn day! I'll be here with you.
PHEW!!! That is a huge relief, now isn't it? Glad you finally have some much-needed peace of mind along with some wise words from the ENT doc.
Quit with you today, buddy.
Don't know why you wouldn't take my word for it that you were fine. Too, much straining with your mouth open trying to catch your own load.
But, seriously, I am really glad you got a good report. Now, back to quitting!
Back to worrying about this shit bump.
AKA: Gum lump bump.
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Unbelievable horse shit. Some people are just moronic.
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Well, if I remember correctly your name came about from your decision to quit for yourself. I believe it was For Me By Me on July 7th, hence...FMBM707.
Would be fitting now to change your handle to QFTB622...Quit Fighting The Battle June 22nd.
Hey, at least you came and went on your own terms. You'll always have that going for you.
Best of luck to you. I hope you keep trying, get fully addicted again and back to feeling normal. I'm sure your wife and family will be proud.
Dip on...
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I was traveling yesterday and just hit up the intro board. Not wanting to believe what Diesel and Griz wrote, I went to Oct 2014's page. Man, was that a punch in my face and kick to the nuts. Sure, I ain't an October Titan, but I sure as hell have been quitting day in and day out with you since your first weeks.
I'm pretty F'n pissed and now I have an idea about how much you valued your quit brothers; people like myself and those in your Quit group. And to that I say, so be it. I don't need nor want decrepit stones in my castle of quit.
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I don't need nor want decrepit stones in my castle of quit.
Amen Steak, Amen
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While I am saddened by this cave, it only makes my quit stronger. I hope you find what you are looking for FMBM.
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I was traveling yesterday and just hit up the intro board. Not wanting to believe what Diesel and Griz wrote, I went to Oct 2014's page. Man, was that a punch in my face and kick to the nuts. Sure, I ain't an October Titan, but I sure as hell have been quitting day in and day out with you since your first weeks.
I'm pretty F'n pissed and now I have an idea about how much you valued your quit brothers; people like myself and those in your Quit group. And to that I say, so be it. I don't need nor want decrepit stones in my castle of quit.
Leave it to Steak to find the words that I could not.
Two fucking weeks shy of hitting a year, and this is allowed to happen. Unreal.
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I'm not one of those guys that believes everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just fuck ourselves on purpose. I don't know why you fucked yourself, but the only thing keeping you from un-fucking it is you. We are all here doing it one day at a time and so can you. In my own case, after returning, I felt like shit every day rehashing everything. Slowly, day by day, that negativity turned positive as I built a foundation and formed a brotherhood with my group. Somehow, the trust in me returned and coming here became a source of energy. I hope you take the time to read back through this intro...it's the reason I joined this site.
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I'm not one of those guys that believes everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just fuck ourselves on purpose. I don't know why you fucked yourself, but the only thing keeping you from un-fucking it is you. We are all here doing it one day at a time and so can you. In my own case, after returning, I felt like shit every day rehashing everything. Slowly, day by day, that negativity turned positive as I built a foundation and formed a brotherhood with my group. Somehow, the trust in me returned and coming here became a source of energy. I hope you take the time to read back through this intro...it's the reason I joined this site.
Thanks Dano. I appreciate your support and continued effort with me. It hasn't gone unnoticed and I value your opinion. I've been on KTC everyday since posting my promise and I'm not as active as I was the first time around with regards to posting but I'm still reading a lot and finding my way. It's great to hear that others were helped even though I ultimately failed.
As for reading back through this intro, there will be the right time to do it and I know it's going to be of value when it's needed.
The only promise right now is the daily promise.
Don't give up on me yet Dano- I've still got some fight left and hopefully I can provide some support and/or inspiration along the way
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Thanks for sharing, Steve. Read the first page of your intro last night and decided to join. Read the rest now and much of it seems like it could have been written by me. Last time I thought I was dying back in 07 I went to ENT and all came back clean. I don't know how long it took, but after a clean bill of health I started again. I'm a genius. From what I've read, you are better than that. I quit.
Apparently I'm not.
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I'm not one of those guys that believes everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just fuck ourselves on purpose. I don't know why you fucked yourself, but the only thing keeping you from un-fucking it is you. We are all here doing it one day at a time and so can you. In my own case, after returning, I felt like shit every day rehashing everything. Slowly, day by day, that negativity turned positive as I built a foundation and formed a brotherhood with my group. Somehow, the trust in me returned and coming here became a source of energy. I hope you take the time to read back through this intro...it's the reason I joined this site.
Thanks Dano. I appreciate your support and continued effort with me. It hasn't gone unnoticed and I value your opinion. I've been on KTC everyday since posting my promise and I'm not as active as I was the first time around with regards to posting but I'm still reading a lot and finding my way. It's great to hear that others were helped even though I ultimately failed.
As for reading back through this intro, there will be the right time to do it and I know it's going to be of value when it's needed.
The only promise right now is the daily promise.
Don't give up on me yet Dano- I've still got some fight left and hopefully I can provide some support and/or inspiration along the way
I know it's awkward for a bit, but each day stoke that fire just a little bit more. Twigs and leaves at first but after awhile, it will rage. You have lots of guys pulling for you big time.
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Does KTC even do the 3 questions for cavers anymore, or is that a thing of the past? I'D LOVE it a mod chimed in on this.............
FMBM, you started out so well, and we had each others backs, what happened? You have my digits, never heard a word about your cave, or your new quit. Answer the tough questions and get on board man.
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I'm not a ball buster about the three questions....but I personally feel I put in a lot of time reading and responding to a lot of your posts...and you involved so many people in your quit, you owe it to all of us who gave a shit about you to explain yourself.
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Does KTC even do the 3 questions for cavers anymore, or is that a thing of the past? I'D LOVE it a mod chimed in on this.............
FMBM, you started out so well, and we had each others backs, what happened? You have my digits, never heard a word about your cave, or your new quit. Answer the tough questions and get on board man.
The 3 questions are a practice in this community, not a requirement. I can't think of anyone offhand who didn't answer them, but I can think of many who threw out half ass responses and needed "encouragement" to offer answers that matter. FMBM's initial answer to question number 3 as I recall was lacking. The usual answer to this question is "get more involved" as it seems the majority of cavers aren't involved pre-cave. It can't be said in this case because by pretty much all accounts Steve was involved, though I think it waned toward the end. I can't speak for him, but it seems that at some point, he was overcome with quit malaise, a very dangerous form of fuck-its.
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Hey man, wanted to reach out to you because I just spent the last hour reading about your journey with KTC and your cave. First of all, I don't judge you for the cave. After reading your intro, and then seeing the fallout, I'm sure you judge yourself plenty.
Honestly, I have a huge amount of respect for the fact that you could come back, post a day one, join a newb group and ask for help. I truly don't know if I could handle myself like that after a cave.
Protocol at this site seems to be to tear down and shame - and I get that. There is value to the whole in terms of setting an example, but I don't think it does anything for an individual. That you were able to man up, take the lumps and start fresh shows fortitude and a serious commitment to the quit that should be supported and emulated, rather than disparaged.
As a member of August, my hope is that you will take both your successes and failures and help our group become more aware of the pitfalls that await us. You have obviously learned a lot from your previous attempt and I hope that you can use those lessons to help us all reach 100 and then 1 year and then the comma together. I quit with you today, I'll quit with you tomrrow. Keep focused and stay quit.
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And guys, I want to clarify - I'm not trying to excuse his cave. It's not acceptable and it deserves to be called out. Any cave weakens the support network on this board, and anyone who breaks their word needs to go through a reckoning if they want to rebuild trust. My point is that I respect the courage it takes to admit a mistake, come back and start from scratch. I think FM has experience and value to add to our quit group and its my hope that he does his best to rebuild that trust in the August group.
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Poof
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When any of us learns that all of a sudden we can't quit for one damn day no matter how long they have been quit it is a bad day for all of us. We are all addicts here. Noone can decide one day that they are not. I think I speak for most here when I say this site is meant for zero tolerance, period. That is how so many are still posting another day and not day ones... After a long time here now there still isn't one damn day that goes by that I don't think about my addiction so I will be back here every damn day!!!
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Does KTC even do the 3 questions for cavers anymore, or is that a thing of the past? I'D LOVE it a mod chimed in on this.............
FMBM, you started out so well, and we had each others backs, what happened? You have my digits, never heard a word about your cave, or your new quit. Answer the tough questions and get on board man.
The 3 questions are a practice in this community, not a requirement. I can't think of anyone offhand who didn't answer them, but I can think of many who threw out half ass responses and needed "encouragement" to offer answers that matter. FMBM's initial answer to question number 3 as I recall was lacking. The usual answer to this question is "get more involved" as it seems the majority of cavers aren't involved pre-cave. It can't be said in this case because by pretty much all accounts Steve was involved, though I think it waned toward the end. I can't speak for him, but it seems that at some point, he was overcome with quit malaise, a very dangerous form of fuck-its.
Thank you Dano, I just wanted to make sure they got asked, I couldn't see where or if they were. It seems like the importance of those questions has waned, especially on a person who threw away nearly a year of stoppage for nothing. Anyone over 2 years agree with that?
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Thumble and Doc2Quit4good- i agree with everything you said and understand why. I haven't concisely in 1 place answered the 3 questions. I've done it over a course of different posts, texts etc. but it needs to be done in the proper format and I'll post it here.
pky1520- Appreciate the support and the PM. Nicotine is nasty addiction and the guys going through it understand better than anyone how difficult it can be to be quit. Not just to quit but these guys know what it's like to BE QUIT.
The Law of Addiction is simple: we chose to use and abuse this substance and now we are forever bound to it. It's our choice daily to either be subdued by this poisonous weed or whether to make a conscious decision to not cower to it's power by keeping it out of our body.
The stories and examples of this are a few key strokes away. You can't 'beat' an addiction in the sense that if you don't abuse it for 'x' amount of days then it can be used without repercussions- nicotine is hardwired into our brains and bodies and it's those nicotine pathways that are never going away- ever. Everyday we stay quit those pathways are getting buried and overgrown by our quit but you suck down any nicotine and it's like a lighting an inferno that immediately burns all that quit away and those nicotine pathways are full blown again and all those nicotine receptors are now back to begging for the fuel (nicotine).
If you hate what you are going through now then understand that if you ever make the very poor choice of saying "what's one going to do" or "fuck it" just know that you'll be dealing with trying to rebuild a quit and you are going to go through that same shit you are now.
The only control we have over this is our choice to either abstain or be abused.
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Thank you for the response FMBM, and I for one will look forward to a more concise 3 answers. I have seen many caves, but yours hit me hard, that is why I have interest in your answers. Remember, the 3 questions aren't for me or the rest of KTC, they are for you.
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Thumble and Doc2Quit4good- i agree with everything you said and understand why. I haven't concisely in 1 place answered the 3 questions. I've done it over a course of different posts, texts etc. but it needs to be done in the proper format and I'll post it here.
pky1520- Appreciate the support and the PM. Nicotine is nasty addiction and the guys going through it understand better than anyone how difficult it can be to be quit. Not just to quit but these guys know what it's like to BE QUIT.
The Law of Addiction is simple: we chose to use and abuse this substance and now we are forever bound to it. It's our choice daily to either be subdued by this poisonous weed or whether to make a conscious decision to not cower to it's power by keeping it out of our body.
The stories and examples of this are a few key strokes away. You can't 'beat' an addiction in the sense that if you don't abuse it for 'x' amount of days then it can be used without repercussions- nicotine is hardwired into our brains and bodies and it's those nicotine pathways that are never going away- ever. Everyday we stay quit those pathways are getting buried and overgrown by our quit but you suck down any nicotine and it's like a lighting an inferno that immediately burns all that quit away and those nicotine pathways are full blown again and all those nicotine receptors are now back to begging for the fuel (nicotine).
If you hate what you are going through now then understand that if you ever make the very poor choice of saying "what's one going to do" or "fuck it" just know that you'll be dealing with trying to rebuild a quit and you are going to go through that same shit you are now.
The only control we have over this is our choice to either abstain or be abused.
Not buying your bullshit that you are regurgitating.
I don't believe that we are "forever bound" by addiction.
I believe we are forever free and only when you chose to use do you impede on your freedom. Once you do that you have to get your freedom back. Not the other way around...you can't be forever bound by something you never had.
You need to change your line of thinking. Addiction is definitely real as I personally have lived it. But I also an close to 4 years free and have to come to realize that I was born into this world FREE and THAT is my natural state and what I am truly bound by.
Choosing to poison yourself and voiding that freedom is the anamoly and something you can absolutely break free from, completely.
You can't unlearn freedom but you can unlearn addiction...PERMANENTLY.
THAT'S the attitude you need to have. Otherwise your not quitting. You're just biding time until you fail again.
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Thumble and Doc2Quit4good- i agree with everything you said and understand why. I haven't concisely in 1 place answered the 3 questions. I've done it over a course of different posts, texts etc. but it needs to be done in the proper format and I'll post it here.
pky1520- Appreciate the support and the PM. Nicotine is nasty addiction and the guys going through it understand better than anyone how difficult it can be to be quit. Not just to quit but these guys know what it's like to BE QUIT.
The Law of Addiction is simple: we chose to use and abuse this substance and now we are forever bound to it. It's our choice daily to either be subdued by this poisonous weed or whether to make a conscious decision to not cower to it's power by keeping it out of our body.
The stories and examples of this are a few key strokes away. You can't 'beat' an addiction in the sense that if you don't abuse it for 'x' amount of days then it can be used without repercussions- nicotine is hardwired into our brains and bodies and it's those nicotine pathways that are never going away- ever. Everyday we stay quit those pathways are getting buried and overgrown by our quit but you suck down any nicotine and it's like a lighting an inferno that immediately burns all that quit away and those nicotine pathways are full blown again and all those nicotine receptors are now back to begging for the fuel (nicotine).
If you hate what you are going through now then understand that if you ever make the very poor choice of saying "what's one going to do" or "fuck it" just know that you'll be dealing with trying to rebuild a quit and you are going to go through that same shit you are now.
The only control we have over this is our choice to either abstain or be abused.
Not buying your bullshit that you are regurgitating.
I don't believe that we are "forever bound" by addiction.
I believe we are forever free and only when you chose to use do you impede on your freedom. Once you do that you have to get your freedom back. Not the other way around...you can't be forever bound by something you never had.
You need to change your line of thinking. Addiction is definitely real as I personally have lived it. But I also an close to 4 years free and have to come to realize that I was born into this world FREE and THAT is my natural state and what I am truly bound by.
Choosing to poison yourself and voiding that freedom is the anamoly and something you can absolutely break free from, completely.
You can't unlearn freedom but you can unlearn addiction...PERMANENTLY.
THAT'S the attitude you need to have. Otherwise your not quitting. You're just biding time until you fail again.
This isn't even debatable. It's like saying you aren't going to die one day. You are going to die. Can you make life choices to help prolong your life? Yes, and quitting nicotine would be a big one of those.
Diesel, I think we are talking about two different things. I am (obviously poorly) trying to convey how anyone that used nicotine and is now quit is 'one bad decision away' based on the Law of Addiction. I believe you are talking about how we have freedom through choices.
I don't disagree that I need to think differently- I wouldn't have said fuck it and sucked down a cancer stick after consciously choosing not to abuse nicotine for 350 days. There's no debating I'm fucked up in the mind when it comes to nicotine. There's no doubt that it is a powerful motherfucker and it takes patience and time to distance yourself from being an abuser to being a strong non-user.
That's why I'm reading about nicotine addiction. I've had an issue with believing I'm addicted. I hate the word addiction. So I'm educating myself on it and posting it in this intro. I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS SAYING IT'S OK TO USE NICOTINE. It's not.
Understanding addiction might not help some because it messes with the belief of "breaking free" or that you can "unlearn addiction".
The fact is your body and mind cannot. You cannot undo what you did. You can choose to make better choices by choosing not to poison yourself but you cannot change the fact that you are and will forever be addicted to nicotine. Hence the word bound in the sense you will forever be susceptible to full on abuser if you ever choose to use again. 1 year, 4 years, 25 years quit- it doesn't fucking matter, your body will not forget. The freedom comes from a choice- I don't disagree with that at all.
The fact that we have abused nicotine means we are tied (bound) to that addiction forever. If we hadn't abused it, then yes, you cannot be bound to something you've never had but that isn't the case here.
Was really just trying to talk about the second fundamental principle.. "..once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it.." That might mean different things to different people but to me that means this addiction is living within my body and if I don't want to be sucking on the teat of the nic bitch then I can never ever use/abuse nicotine again. I am certainly free to make the choice not to use nicotine. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
The 'freedom' comes from making a conscious decision not to use nicotine.
Believe what you need to in order to stay quit but anyone that abused nicotine, those receptors to nicotine will forever be there.
The bullshit I'm regurgitating is from the Law of Addicition:
"Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles: (1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction; (2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and (3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse."
I do like that train of thought Diesel and I do picture myself being forever free of using nicotine by making the right choices but not because it isn't still lurking.
If you believe that addiction is gone from your body then shouldn't read the following.
For anyone else that wants a better understanding of how addiction works, here's more on the subject:
http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN (http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN)
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Thumble and Doc2Quit4good- i agree with everything you said and understand why. I haven't concisely in 1 place answered the 3 questions. I've done it over a course of different posts, texts etc. but it needs to be done in the proper format and I'll post it here.
pky1520- Appreciate the support and the PM. Nicotine is nasty addiction and the guys going through it understand better than anyone how difficult it can be to be quit. Not just to quit but these guys know what it's like to BE QUIT.
The Law of Addiction is simple: we chose to use and abuse this substance and now we are forever bound to it. It's our choice daily to either be subdued by this poisonous weed or whether to make a conscious decision to not cower to it's power by keeping it out of our body.
The stories and examples of this are a few key strokes away. You can't 'beat' an addiction in the sense that if you don't abuse it for 'x' amount of days then it can be used without repercussions- nicotine is hardwired into our brains and bodies and it's those nicotine pathways that are never going away- ever. Everyday we stay quit those pathways are getting buried and overgrown by our quit but you suck down any nicotine and it's like a lighting an inferno that immediately burns all that quit away and those nicotine pathways are full blown again and all those nicotine receptors are now back to begging for the fuel (nicotine).
If you hate what you are going through now then understand that if you ever make the very poor choice of saying "what's one going to do" or "fuck it" just know that you'll be dealing with trying to rebuild a quit and you are going to go through that same shit you are now.
The only control we have over this is our choice to either abstain or be abused.
Not buying your bullshit that you are regurgitating.
I don't believe that we are "forever bound" by addiction.
I believe we are forever free and only when you chose to use do you impede on your freedom. Once you do that you have to get your freedom back. Not the other way around...you can't be forever bound by something you never had.
You need to change your line of thinking. Addiction is definitely real as I personally have lived it. But I also an close to 4 years free and have to come to realize that I was born into this world FREE and THAT is my natural state and what I am truly bound by.
Choosing to poison yourself and voiding that freedom is the anamoly and something you can absolutely break free from, completely.
You can't unlearn freedom but you can unlearn addiction...PERMANENTLY.
THAT'S the attitude you need to have. Otherwise your not quitting. You're just biding time until you fail again.
This isn't even debatable. It's like saying you aren't going to die one day. You are going to die. Can you make life choices to help prolong your life? Yes, and quitting nicotine would be a big one of those.
Diesel, I think we are talking about two different things. I am (obviously poorly) trying to convey how anyone that used nicotine and is now quit is 'one bad decision away' based on the Law of Addiction. I believe you are talking about how we have freedom through choices.
I don't disagree that I need to think differently- I wouldn't have said fuck it and sucked down a cancer stick after consciously choosing not to abuse nicotine for 350 days. There's no debating I'm fucked up in the mind when it comes to nicotine. There's no doubt that it is a powerful motherfucker and it takes patience and time to distance yourself from being an abuser to being a strong non-user.
That's why I'm reading about nicotine addiction. I've had an issue with believing I'm addicted. I hate the word addiction. So I'm educating myself on it and posting it in this intro. I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS SAYING IT'S OK TO USE NICOTINE. It's not.
Understanding addiction might not help some because it messes with the belief of "breaking free" or that you can "unlearn addiction".
The fact is your body and mind cannot. You cannot undo what you did. You can choose to make better choices by choosing not to poison yourself but you cannot change the fact that you are and will forever be addicted to nicotine. Hence the word bound in the sense you will forever be susceptible to full on abuser if you ever choose to use again. 1 year, 4 years, 25 years quit- it doesn't fucking matter, your body will not forget. The freedom comes from a choice- I don't disagree with that at all.
The fact that we have abused nicotine means we are tied (bound) to that addiction forever. If we hadn't abused it, then yes, you cannot be bound to something you've never had but that isn't the case here.
Was really just trying to talk about the second fundamental principle.. "..once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it.." That might mean different things to different people but to me that means this addiction is living within my body and if I don't want to be sucking on the teat of the nic bitch then I can never ever use/abuse nicotine again. I am certainly free to make the choice not to use nicotine. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
The 'freedom' comes from making a conscious decision not to use nicotine.
Believe what you need to in order to stay quit but anyone that abused nicotine, those receptors to nicotine will forever be there.
The bullshit I'm regurgitating is from the Law of Addicition:
"Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles: (1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction; (2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and (3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse."
I do like that train of thought Diesel and I do picture myself being forever free of using nicotine by making the right choices but not because it isn't still lurking.
If you believe that addiction is gone from your body then shouldn't read the following.
For anyone else that wants a better understanding of how addiction works, here's more on the subject:
http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN (http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN)
Oh no. I understand completely. I think it's you who still doesn't get it.
When I quit and my body went ape shit I read everything there was to read on addiction and how it works. I was like, "son of a bitch, I'm addicted to nicotine".
I couldn't believe it either. I thought people could only get addicted to "drugs" like coccaine, meth, heroine, etc...not chewing tobacco!!!! But as you say, the more I read the more I realized I was just as addicted as that junkie willing to sell their soul for their next fix.
It sucked and it also made me mad. So I decided to quit and to say it was TOUGH is probaby the biggest understatement of the century.
However, along the way, just like when I was learning about addiction...I was learning about quittng.
There are no medical jouranls or online e links that layout quitting, so I read a lot on here and I read sone other books as well. Alan Carrs, "East way to Quit Smoking", which was my personal favorite.
I came to realize that carrying around the fact that I was an ADDICT was pretty heavy and decided...Fuck what all these books and experts say. I'm not going to be defined by what I did but by what I do.
I WAS an addict. NOW I am not.
That's the mindset I adopted, despite what all the "experts" say. I think alot of others could be well served to do the same.
Going out to read and educate yourself on addiction is smart and definitely helpful, as it's hard to beat an enemy without know what your going up against. However I don't think it's very beneficial to keep holding on to the fact that your an addict who will always be teetering on the edge and will always be "one bad decision" away from becoming that EVIL ADDICT again.
You cannot let being an addict define you.
We fucked up. We got addicted to nicotine. It sucks but life does not end.
I'm a good Dad and husband who loves his family more than anything. I used to be addicted to nicotine, too. Big fucking deal...
Quit on...
-
Thumble and Doc2Quit4good- i agree with everything you said and understand why. I haven't concisely in 1 place answered the 3 questions. I've done it over a course of different posts, texts etc. but it needs to be done in the proper format and I'll post it here.
pky1520- Appreciate the support and the PM. Nicotine is nasty addiction and the guys going through it understand better than anyone how difficult it can be to be quit. Not just to quit but these guys know what it's like to BE QUIT.
The Law of Addiction is simple: we chose to use and abuse this substance and now we are forever bound to it. It's our choice daily to either be subdued by this poisonous weed or whether to make a conscious decision to not cower to it's power by keeping it out of our body.
The stories and examples of this are a few key strokes away. You can't 'beat' an addiction in the sense that if you don't abuse it for 'x' amount of days then it can be used without repercussions- nicotine is hardwired into our brains and bodies and it's those nicotine pathways that are never going away- ever. Everyday we stay quit those pathways are getting buried and overgrown by our quit but you suck down any nicotine and it's like a lighting an inferno that immediately burns all that quit away and those nicotine pathways are full blown again and all those nicotine receptors are now back to begging for the fuel (nicotine).
If you hate what you are going through now then understand that if you ever make the very poor choice of saying "what's one going to do" or "fuck it" just know that you'll be dealing with trying to rebuild a quit and you are going to go through that same shit you are now.
The only control we have over this is our choice to either abstain or be abused.
Not buying your bullshit that you are regurgitating.
I don't believe that we are "forever bound" by addiction.
I believe we are forever free and only when you chose to use do you impede on your freedom. Once you do that you have to get your freedom back. Not the other way around...you can't be forever bound by something you never had.
You need to change your line of thinking. Addiction is definitely real as I personally have lived it. But I also an close to 4 years free and have to come to realize that I was born into this world FREE and THAT is my natural state and what I am truly bound by.
Choosing to poison yourself and voiding that freedom is the anamoly and something you can absolutely break free from, completely.
You can't unlearn freedom but you can unlearn addiction...PERMANENTLY.
THAT'S the attitude you need to have. Otherwise your not quitting. You're just biding time until you fail again.
This isn't even debatable. It's like saying you aren't going to die one day. You are going to die. Can you make life choices to help prolong your life? Yes, and quitting nicotine would be a big one of those.
Diesel, I think we are talking about two different things. I am (obviously poorly) trying to convey how anyone that used nicotine and is now quit is 'one bad decision away' based on the Law of Addiction. I believe you are talking about how we have freedom through choices.
I don't disagree that I need to think differently- I wouldn't have said fuck it and sucked down a cancer stick after consciously choosing not to abuse nicotine for 350 days. There's no debating I'm fucked up in the mind when it comes to nicotine. There's no doubt that it is a powerful motherfucker and it takes patience and time to distance yourself from being an abuser to being a strong non-user.
That's why I'm reading about nicotine addiction. I've had an issue with believing I'm addicted. I hate the word addiction. So I'm educating myself on it and posting it in this intro. I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS SAYING IT'S OK TO USE NICOTINE. It's not.
Understanding addiction might not help some because it messes with the belief of "breaking free" or that you can "unlearn addiction".
The fact is your body and mind cannot. You cannot undo what you did. You can choose to make better choices by choosing not to poison yourself but you cannot change the fact that you are and will forever be addicted to nicotine. Hence the word bound in the sense you will forever be susceptible to full on abuser if you ever choose to use again. 1 year, 4 years, 25 years quit- it doesn't fucking matter, your body will not forget. The freedom comes from a choice- I don't disagree with that at all.
The fact that we have abused nicotine means we are tied (bound) to that addiction forever. If we hadn't abused it, then yes, you cannot be bound to something you've never had but that isn't the case here.
Was really just trying to talk about the second fundamental principle.. "..once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it.." That might mean different things to different people but to me that means this addiction is living within my body and if I don't want to be sucking on the teat of the nic bitch then I can never ever use/abuse nicotine again. I am certainly free to make the choice not to use nicotine. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
The 'freedom' comes from making a conscious decision not to use nicotine.
Believe what you need to in order to stay quit but anyone that abused nicotine, those receptors to nicotine will forever be there.
The bullshit I'm regurgitating is from the Law of Addicition:
"Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles: (1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction; (2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and (3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse."
I do like that train of thought Diesel and I do picture myself being forever free of using nicotine by making the right choices but not because it isn't still lurking.
If you believe that addiction is gone from your body then shouldn't read the following.
For anyone else that wants a better understanding of how addiction works, here's more on the subject:
http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN (http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VzKcr2NGJPN)
Oh no. I understand completely. I think it's you who still doesn't get it.
When I quit and my body went ape shit I read everything there was to read on addiction and how it works. I was like, "son of a bitch, I'm addicted to nicotine".
I couldn't believe it either. I thought people could only get addicted to "drugs" like coccaine, meth, heroine, etc...not chewing tobacco!!!! But as you say, the more I read the more I realized I was just as addicted as that junkie willing to sell their soul for their next fix.
It sucked and it also made me mad. So I decided to quit and to say it was TOUGH is probaby the biggest understatement of the century.
However, along the way, just like when I was learning about addiction...I was learning about quittng.
There are no medical jouranls or online e links that layout quitting, so I read a lot on here and I read sone other books as well. Alan Carrs, "East way to Quit Smoking", which was my personal favorite.
I came to realize that carrying around the fact that I was an ADDICT was pretty heavy and decided...Fuck what all these books and experts say. I'm not going to be defined by what I did but by what I do.
I WAS an addict. NOW I am not.
That's the mindset I adopted, despite what all the "experts" say. I think alot of others could be well served to do the same.
Going out to read and educate yourself on addiction is smart and definitely helpful, as it's hard to beat an enemy without know what your going up against. However I don't think it's very beneficial to keep holding on to the fact that your an addict who will always be teetering on the edge and will always be "one bad decision" away from becoming that EVIL ADDICT again.
You cannot let being an addict define you.
We fucked up. We got addicted to nicotine. It sucks but life does not end.
I'm a good Dad and husband who loves his family more than anything. I used to be addicted to nicotine, too. Big fucking deal...
Quit on...
I like that mind set a lot Diesel and glad you posted it. I'm not there yet but hope by posting +1s eventually I'll have that kind of understanding.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour after your cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
I am also glad to see you have changed your quit date.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...
The victim excuse.
You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.
Fully.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...
The victim excuse.
You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.
Fully.
And AJ doesn't give props easily.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...
The victim excuse.
You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.
Fully.
And AJ doesn't give props easily.
Yeah, I'm a crotchety old fart 'winker'
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
A-Jack is right. It definitely takes time and you being on day 13...just worry about winning the day.
You will only get complacent, if you let yourself. I'm closing in on 4 years. Am I complacent? I don't know. I'm simply quit and I must tell you...it's pretty fucking easy.
Addict or "EX Addict"...you should never forget your battle and where you came from. Not letting addiction define you, doesn't mean forgetting. Nicotine carved neuro pathways into your brain. Now it's time to carve a pathway of quit.
Being told you can never truly win at somethin sounds like a fucking drag. As if for the rest of your life...even if you never use nicotine again, you're still going to be dragging a ball and chain around. Like you're marked with a scarlet "A" for ADDICT and you will bare that for all to see for the rest of your days.
FUCK THAT SHIT. Like AJ said...win the day and over time you become a mother fucking WINNER. Not an addict.
Maybe over time you start to slip a little bit or maybe you get the "fuck its". That's when you draw on the "quit grooves" in your brain and remember the struggle it took to get here. You can also come back to this site and lean on it. Chronicle your struggles and triumphs here and then use them to brush up on your quit, if need be.
I was always told, you can accomplish ANYTHING if you put your mind to it. I don't remember anyone ever putting the caviar on it..."unless you try to beat addiction. You can never do that".
Fuck that. You can win. You WILL win.
Quit on...
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
A-Jack is right. It definitely takes time and you being on day 13...just worry about winning the day.
You will only get complacent, if you let yourself. I'm closing in on 4 years. Am I complacent? I don't know. I'm simply quit and I must tell you...it's pretty fucking easy.
Addict or "EX Addict"...you should never forget your battle and where you came from. Not letting addiction define you, doesn't mean forgetting. Nicotine carved neuro pathways into your brain. Now it's time to carve a pathway of quit.
Being told you can never truly win at somethin sounds like a fucking drag. As if for the rest of your life...even if you never use nicotine again, you're still going to be dragging a ball and chain around. Like you're marked with a scarlet "A" for ADDICT and you will bare that for all to see for the rest of your days.
FUCK THAT SHIT. Like AJ said...win the day and over time you become a mother fucking WINNER. Not an addict.
Maybe over time you start to slip a little bit or maybe you get the "fuck its". That's when you draw on the "quit grooves" in your brain and remember the struggle it took to get here. You can also come back to this site and lean on it. Chronicle your struggles and triumphs here and then use them to brush up on your quit, if need be.
I was always told, you can accomplish ANYTHING if you put your mind to it. I don't remember anyone ever putting the caviar on it..."unless you try to beat addiction. You can never do that".
Fuck that. You can win. You WILL win.
Quit on...
I like it Diesel and by all means it feels like I'm winning everyday I don't use nicotine.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...
The victim excuse.
You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.
Fully.
Owning it one day at a time, whether it be in a crotchety or a happy way.
-
I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.
Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.
A couple things...
1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.
2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.
And... you CAN win.
Addiction does NOT define you.
What you do about it does.
We win every day.
Every. Day.
Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.
I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.
You'll get there, man. You will.
Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.
AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.
As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.
My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.
Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.
Med- hit me up anytime I can help.
FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...
The victim excuse.
You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.
Fully.
Owning it one day at a time, whether it be in a crotchety or a happy way.
Yep, now, get off my lawn!
-
"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier
Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.
It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.
I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.
These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.
With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.
THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.
With any journey the most important step is the first.
Quit on.
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"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier
Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.
It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.
I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.
These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.
With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.
THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.
With any journey the most important step is the first.
Quit on.
913 days into my quit and I still say, "has it really been that long?!" The thing is, I still take it one day at a time...and when you look at it that way, 24 hours is 24 hours whether you're on day 10 or day 1,000. So, in some sense, I don't pay attention to the number any more...I still just worry about being quit for me.
-
"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier
Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.
It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.
I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.
These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.
With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.
THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.
With any journey the most important step is the first.
Quit on.
913 days into my quit and I still say, "has it really been that long?!" The thing is, I still take it one day at a time...and when you look at it that way, 24 hours is 24 hours whether you're on day 10 or day 1,000. So, in some sense, I don't pay attention to the number any more...I still just worry about being quit for me.
Stevo.....
I have to tell you I was genuinely shocked a year or so ago when you decided to go off the reservation, and was genuinely happy, not only for you, but for the rest of the KTC population, when you finally had that cranial-rectal extraction and came back. I also have to agree completely with Andy... it's less and less about the number, and more and more about the freedom. I just passed two years Friday, and while that seems huge, stop and compare it with the nearly FORTY I was a friggin' dumbass. The only day that truly counts, though, is today. And for today, you, he, and countless others on these pages are quit. Crushin' that addiction one day after the other. That's how quits are built.
Again, glad you're back....you were indispensable earlier on to so many others. You can be so again.
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June 14th, 2016
Woke up today to a text that a friend of mine is having surgery for throat cancer. Fucking throat cancer.
This guy is married, has 3 young kids, is tremendously successful, extremely intelligent, great soccer player, a great guy and cancer doesn't give two shits about any of that.
He's been a long time user of smokeless tobacco. I use the word smokeless tobacco because like many of us we've abused that shit in all different kinds of forms and he was no different (snus, dip, pouches etc.).
I moved from the StL 5 years ago so I don't see or talk to him as much as I used to so I can't say if he did end up quitting in the past couple of years or not. When I have seen him or talked to him that isn't something that's discussed.
I can say I know he's tried to quit before and the times I remember were always using NRTs. It was always with patches or nic gum. Those things did stop him from dipping for awhile but he always ended up back to dipping. Because no matter what the 'research' says from those companies that have spent billions of dollars developing and marketing NRTs that fact remains NRTs are an ineffective method to quit and more importantly to REMAIN quit. I know plenty of people who have tried using NRTs to quit. I know of no one that it worked for any sort of extended time. Conversely, look around these pages of cold turkey quitters.
I've read the stories, the well documented ones like the heart wrenching Jenny and Tom Kern's story, the sad story of Randy and His Cancer numerous times and many others and can't help feeling how this is going to play out.
Guard those quits. Pray for my friend J and his family. Talk to a buddy today that you know dips/chews and let them know if they ever think about quitting to check out KTC.
You never think this shit is going to hit close to home until it does.
-
To clarify a few things:
He was still dipping.
He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.
3 weeks ago he got it checked out.
2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.
He quit dipping.
Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation
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To clarify a few things:
He was still dipping.
He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.
3 weeks ago he got it checked out.
2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.
He quit dipping.
Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation
A sobering reminder of just one of the reasons we are here everyday. I haven't posted here since you came back Steve but I am glad you sacked up and are here again. For good I hope. I'll quit for you and J today bro.
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To clarify a few things:
He was still dipping.
He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.
3 weeks ago he got it checked out.
2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.
He quit dipping.
Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation
A sobering reminder of just one of the reasons we are here everyday. I haven't posted here since you came back Steve but I am glad you sacked up and are here again. For good I hope. I'll quit for you and J today bro.
My boss of 20 years retired 6 months ago... officially began his retirement 2 months ago after training his replacement and easing the transition.
He died last night.
Cancer.
Fuck cancer.
Prayers and good vibes to your friend and his fam.
-
Update: surgery 'went well' but tumor found in middle of throat, gets to go home Friday or Saturday but has to come back in 2 weeks for another surgery to remove left lymph node and possibly the thyroid.
This could have been/ could be any of us. And for what? A fucking weed.
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Update: surgery 'went well' but tumor found in middle of throat, gets to go home Friday or Saturday but has to come back in 2 weeks for another surgery to remove left lymph node and possibly the thyroid.
This could have been/ could be any of us. And for what? A fucking weed.
I will now chew a Xanax so I stop shaking. I have just pressed every node,gland, etc ,on my body.... Twice. I swear at this point it all feels effed up.
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Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
FMBM,
It's a shame that you didn't work harder to arrive at an answer to #3 before letting it happen again. I'm not sure if you were actively trying to be self destructive this time, but I do know that you had my number and didn't use it. It sounds like it wasn't a crave, but another instance of a planned "fuck it" session.
You need to explain what happened to August, but I think you also need to have a talk with your friend that you posted about. Explain to him why sucking down cigs was worth throwing away your quit. Obviously you didn't think about getting permission from anyone on this site, but next time you get the itch to drink yourself stupid and act accordingly, you need to get permission from him.
I defended you when you were getting a pile of shit about your earlier cave. I felt that it took guts to own up to your failure and that your previous stoppage experience would be valuable to us newbie quitters. I'm just extremely disappointed that you chose to flake out on us. I hope you get yourself figured out and can find a way to stop harming yourself.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
FMBM,
It's a shame that you didn't work harder to arrive at an answer to #3 before letting it happen again. I'm not sure if you were actively trying to be self destructive this time, but I do know that you had my number and didn't use it. It sounds like it wasn't a crave, but another instance of a planned "fuck it" session.
You need to explain what happened to August, but I think you also need to have a talk with your friend that you posted about. Explain to him why sucking down cigs was worth throwing away your quit. Obviously you didn't think about getting permission from anyone on this site, but next time you get the itch to drink yourself stupid and act accordingly, you need to get permission from him.
I defended you when you were getting a pile of shit about your earlier cave. I felt that it took guts to own up to your failure and that your previous stoppage experience would be valuable to us newbie quitters. I'm just extremely disappointed that you chose to flake out on us. I hope you get yourself figured out and can find a way to stop harming yourself.
No shit?
Caved?
Again?
GTFO
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
FMBM,
It's a shame that you didn't work harder to arrive at an answer to #3 before letting it happen again. I'm not sure if you were actively trying to be self destructive this time, but I do know that you had my number and didn't use it. It sounds like it wasn't a crave, but another instance of a planned "fuck it" session.
You need to explain what happened to August, but I think you also need to have a talk with your friend that you posted about. Explain to him why sucking down cigs was worth throwing away your quit. Obviously you didn't think about getting permission from anyone on this site, but next time you get the itch to drink yourself stupid and act accordingly, you need to get permission from him.
I defended you when you were getting a pile of shit about your earlier cave. I felt that it took guts to own up to your failure and that your previous stoppage experience would be valuable to us newbie quitters. I'm just extremely disappointed that you chose to flake out on us. I hope you get yourself figured out and can find a way to stop harming yourself.
No shit?
Caved?
Again?
GTFO
Newbies, please read this thread. This is the perfect example of the importance of commitment to yourself. If you don't go all in, you'll fail every time. This guy explicitly states that he can't promise to post roll every day or use numbers of people of give a damn. And what happened? he caved. He's a slave, bound by the chains of his addiction. He's losing the battle, killing himself, hurting those around him, and lying through his ass. He's a hypocrite; the epitome of hypocrisy.
Not me though. I am quit, I am free, I am not a liar, I have integrity, I have friends who care about my quit and I care about theirs. We are bound by this mutual task of saving each other's lives every day.
Cave and stab me in the back once, shame on you. Cave and kick me in the nuts twice, shame on me.
-
After all that scary shit about your friend who had it all and has throat cancer now...... It's so real, so close to home.....
This just doesn't make sense. Why didn't that STRENGTHEN your quit, rather than be the event days before your own cave.....?
-
There are 2 simple words that describe this loser...
Zero. Integrity.
-
This is no game, this is life. We all chose to make or not to make the right decisions in life. I chose to not make chances better for getting cancer. This shits hard but so is getting up at 530 every morning for the past 30 years to go to the same place to work everyday but I chose that because I want to enjoy life. I'm saying we all make decisions some harder than others but if you put your mind to it and you really want something bad enough you can do it. By the way from what I've read in my 543 days of freedom addicts and alcohol equals failure because as addicts we give it our all whether good or bad, stay away from it if you must get drunk.
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There are 2 simple words that describe this loser...
Zero. Integrity.
Thank you for saying this AJ. FMBM didn't get grilled as much as he should of when he came back a couple months ago after throwing away a year of quit..............and this is the result, another half asser who spouts off like he knows how to quit, get a lot of "atta-boys", then shits all over the site.
I miss the days that this site would have made this little bitch cry, but also may have saved his life.
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This is no game, this is life. We all chose to make or not to make the right decisions in life. I chose to not make chances better for getting cancer. This shits hard but so is getting up at 530 every morning for the past 30 years to go to the same place to work everyday but I chose that because I want to enjoy life. I'm saying we all make decisions some harder than others but if you put your mind to it and you really want something bad enough you can do it. By the way from what I've read in my 543 days of freedom addicts and alcohol equals failure because as addicts we give it our all whether good or bad, stay away from it if you must get drunk.
So true Pab. And I can really relate about the alcohol. A few years back I'd been quit for several months. I was on vacation and I'd had at least 1 too many. I can still clearly remember thinking "If I was to have 1 dip right now who could blame me. I could excuse it over being too drunk." And so I kissed that quit goodbye. The addict's mind is always looking for an excuse it seems. This quit, I'm staying away from the booze. I don't want to put myself in that position again. It's too big of a risk.
-
This is no game, this is life. We all chose to make or not to make the right decisions in life. I chose to not make chances better for getting cancer. This shits hard but so is getting up at 530 every morning for the past 30 years to go to the same place to work everyday but I chose that because I want to enjoy life. I'm saying we all make decisions some harder than others but if you put your mind to it and you really want something bad enough you can do it. By the way from what I've read in my 543 days of freedom addicts and alcohol equals failure because as addicts we give it our all whether good or bad, stay away from it if you must get drunk.
So true Pab. And I can really relate about the alcohol. A few years back I'd been quit for several months. I was on vacation and I'd had at least 1 too many. I can still clearly remember thinking "If I was to have 1 dip right now who could blame me. I could excuse it over being too drunk." And so I kissed that quit goodbye. The addict's mind is always looking for an excuse it seems. This quit, I'm staying away from the booze. I don't want to put myself in that position again. It's too big of a risk.
Post your promise daily. Keep your word. Simple.
If you can't post each day, don't waste your time offering excuses.... I've posted 1,278 days now... from East Coast, West Coast, Canada, France, airplanes, boats, trains, toilets, and taxis. If I can do it, you can do it. We are all busy. This is important. In 2016, there is no excuse to not post each day.
If you can't keep your word, then you just don't belong here. This site is full of thousands of honorable, honest, men and women of integrity that are fighting a common enemy. They, we, keep our word - if you don't wanna join the party, then don't.
Take a good look at your friend. There but by the grace of God go I... stop playing Russian Roulette, unless you wanna take a bullet. If you do, don't do it here. We don't pat asses and give hugs. We quit.
Post your promise daily. Keep your word.
-
This is no game, this is life. We all chose to make or not to make the right decisions in life. I chose to not make chances better for getting cancer. This shits hard but so is getting up at 530 every morning for the past 30 years to go to the same place to work everyday but I chose that because I want to enjoy life. I'm saying we all make decisions some harder than others but if you put your mind to it and you really want something bad enough you can do it. By the way from what I've read in my 543 days of freedom addicts and alcohol equals failure because as addicts we give it our all whether good or bad, stay away from it if you must get drunk.
So true Pab. And I can really relate about the alcohol. A few years back I'd been quit for several months. I was on vacation and I'd had at least 1 too many. I can still clearly remember thinking "If I was to have 1 dip right now who could blame me. I could excuse it over being too drunk." And so I kissed that quit goodbye. The addict's mind is always looking for an excuse it seems. This quit, I'm staying away from the booze. I don't want to put myself in that position again. It's too big of a risk.
Post your promise daily. Keep your word. Simple.
If you can't post each day, don't waste your time offering excuses.... I've posted 1,278 days now... from East Coast, West Coast, Canada, France, airplanes, boats, trains, toilets, and taxis. If I can do it, you can do it. We are all busy. This is important. In 2016, there is no excuse to not post each day.
If you can't keep your word, then you just don't belong here. This site is full of thousands of honorable, honest, men and women of integrity that are fighting a common enemy. They, we, keep our word - if you don't wanna join the party, then don't.
Take a good look at your friend. There but by the grace of God go I... stop playing Russian Roulette, unless you wanna take a bullet. If you do, don't do it here. We don't pat asses and give hugs. We quit.
Post your promise daily. Keep your word.
Ya. What he said!!! Well said WtW!
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Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
I was right and you refused to take alcohol off the table. You knew what you had to do, but refused. Unfortunately you have now lost one of the best tools known to man.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
I was right and you refused to take alcohol off the table. You knew what you had to do, but refused. Unfortunately you have now lost one of the best tools known to man.
Alcohol.
I am in the booze biz. About 250 million $ worth of the stuff goes through the doors of the company I work for every year. We taste new samples constantly. It is at all functions. Lunches. Dinners. Afternoon meetings. Morning meetings.
I didn't taste any booze for 100 days. If I can do it, anyone can. Booze was an excuse for this dude that doesn't have integrity.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
I was right and you refused to take alcohol off the table. You knew what you had to do, but refused. Unfortunately you have now lost one of the best tools known to man.
Alcohol.
I am in the booze biz. About 250 million $ worth of the stuff goes through the doors of the company I work for every year. We taste new samples constantly. It is at all functions. Lunches. Dinners. Afternoon meetings. Morning meetings.
I didn't taste any booze for 100 days. If I can do it, anyone can. Booze was an excuse for this dude that doesn't have integrity.
Like him i smoked and dipped. And the issues with drinking and the temptation it brought was something I talked with him about constantly in the almost year he was with us in October 14. Clearly he hasn't and probably never will learn his lesson until it's too late.
-
Answers to the 3 Questions: What happened, why did it happen, what will I do differently.
What happened:
I went from 100% roll poster to saying "Fuck It" at 350 days of quit. I posted roll that day as I always did, can't remember if I hung around and looked into other groups and read intros or if I posted and got on with the day. I usually made it a habit to read something on KTC everyday.
I do I know I had a really shitty attitude that day and a big ol' case of the I don't give a fucks but this wasn't just one day of not giving a fuck this was a culmination of days of the I don't give a fuck kind of attitude. So I went out, got shit hammered and in my 'I don't give a fuck' fucked up state I rationalized that since the calendar day was over my promise was over. So I lit up cigarette after cigarette. And for seem reason I remember at the time it felt liberating sitting on my buddy's patio drinking whiskey and smoking. I'm trying to understand why I would associate smoking with feeling liberated.
Why did it happen:
It happened because I didn't have the right frame of mind to deal with other issues so I took my shitty attitude and decided to pile onto my 'problems' with adding more problems. I figured why the fuck not. Again the 'fuck it' kind of attitude.
This didn't happen because I didn't believe quitting and staying quit was the right thing to do. It happened because I knew using nicotine was the wrong thing and that's exactly what I was looking to do. I was looking to do the wrong thing. I knew staying out really late, drinking heavily and smoking was completely the wrong thing to do and that's why I did it. I wasn't trying to make these problems go away- I know that's not how it works. I was trying to add to them.
I jumped into the quit with everything I had, I woke up 7/07/2014 and said "Fuck this, I'm quitting" and I went after my quit hard. I read and read and read things on KTC. I followed the process and I went after it.
The night I decided to stop quitting I said "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me, fuck it all. Let me stuff my face with cancer sticks and smoke and drink until I can't fucking see straight and when I wake up in the morning that's just a couple more things to pile on my plate- fuck it- I don't care." I guess that's my coping mechanism?
Why I can get this way I have no idea but sometimes I do.
What will I do differently:
I'm really not sure what I'm going to do differently except to recognize when I get in a shitty state of mind and I get into a self destructive kind of way that I find another outlet. One that is constructive. How one does that when they want to be self destructive I'm not sure but I know I don't want to turn to chew or smokes.
I can't say "I'll promise to post roll everyday this time". I did post roll everyday and I'll continue to do that because it works. I also believe that had I posted roll at 12:01 AM I wouldn't have broken that promise.
I can't say I'm going to get numbers and use them- I have a phone full and I did use them on many occasions. I can't even recall if I tried to reach out to anyone or not that night because I was in a 'fuck it all' kind of mood.
I could say I'm going to be more involved on the site, but I think I was pretty involved and that didn't stop me.
Recently I've made some changes to shred some responsibilities and commitments and looking to further make some changes in that arena.
I know I need to be honest about drinking. I still haven't chewed since 7/6/2014 and I don't ever plan to put that shit in my mouth again. When I said 'fuck it' last May and sucked down some cigarettes after that night I probably went a month or so without even thinking about it and before I smoked again. When I did smoke it was usually (not always) after I've had 7+ drinks. What I noticed was I was starting to find reasons to drink so I could fed my addiction and that the time in between using was getting shorter.
Not sure these are the answers I was looking for but that's what I've got.
For me, alcohol and nicotine always held hands. Alcohol would give me license to use nicotine and nicotine would give me a reason to have enough drinks where I didn't give a fuck. There was a tipping point where when I had X number of drinks, things just didn't matter anymore. It wasn't just nicotine, but I'd do other stupid, self destructive or embarrassing shit. Anyway, this stuff demands examination but fuck if I have all the answers. I just know what I'm not gonna do Today.
I talked to you on the phone for about an hour soon after the cave. To me it boiled down to you where looking for a reason to leave. You gave yourself an out. Do I see a difference, now? Not really.
Thanks Dano and I know you are right.
I was right and you refused to take alcohol off the table. You knew what you had to do, but refused. Unfortunately you have now lost one of the best tools known to man.
Alcohol.
I am in the booze biz. About 250 million $ worth of the stuff goes through the doors of the company I work for every year. We taste new samples constantly. It is at all functions. Lunches. Dinners. Afternoon meetings. Morning meetings.
I didn't taste any booze for 100 days. If I can do it, anyone can. Booze was an excuse for this dude that doesn't have integrity.
Like him i smoked and dipped. And the issues with drinking and the temptation it brought was something I talked with him about constantly in the almost year he was with us in October 14. Clearly he hasn't and probably never will learn his lesson until it's too late.
Alcohol is just an excuse. Sure, it lowers inhibitions, but alcohol isn't the reason you caved. You are the reason you caved.
Knowing that you have a problem with both nicotine and alcohol, you weren't willing to take both of them off of the table. You took away the honor and integrity instead.
The premise here is pretty simple. You can talk the talk and stack bullshit 10 feet tall, but you've given yourself multiple outs here and that I can't abide.
The good news is, I'm still learning from you. The bad news is, it's for all the wrong reasons.