KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: PKTmkm700 on April 04, 2017, 02:41:00 PM
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My original quit began on January 1, 2007, I remained quit until mid August 2009. My moment of weakness came while on a golf course with friends when I had a cigar. Its not something that I usually do on the golf course but it sounded good at the time. That event was the exactly starting moment of my cave. About a week after that cigar on the golf course I was out with a friend who chewed. I thought to myself "why can I just have one little pinch of dip?" the cigar didn't seem to effect me so why would one little pinch. That lead to me buying a tin a couple days after that. I remember having one dip out of that tin and then throwing it out the window of my car. What followed next was me finding out that my wife was cheating on my, that when I really said fuck it and started chewing full time again. I remember thinking to myself numerous times "I can quit again next week." that turned into 7 1/2 years.
Looking back on where I think there were two big issue with my quit. 1) I got comfortable with my quit and let my guard down and let nicotine sneak back into my life. 2) my first quit was not really a quit for me, it was a quit for my wife at the time. One thing I have learned through reading the site is that you have to quit for yourself, not someone else.
This time I am quitting for myself, under my own accord and not in response to someone's ultimatum. I will be vigilant and focused on posting and supporting my quit brothers and sisters and try with all my heart not to get lazy or comfortable with my quit.
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My original quit began on January 1, 2007, I remained quit until mid August 2009. My moment of weakness came while on a golf course with friends when I had a cigar. Its not something that I usually do on the golf course but it sounded good at the time. That event was the exactly starting moment of my cave. About a week after that cigar on the golf course I was out with a friend who chewed. I thought to myself "why can I just have one little pinch of dip?" the cigar didn't seem to effect me so why would one little pinch. That lead to me buying a tin a couple days after that. I remember having one dip out of that tin and then throwing it out the window of my car. What followed next was me finding out that my wife was cheating on my, that when I really said fuck it and started chewing full time again. I remember thinking to myself numerous times "I can quit again next week." that turned into 7 1/2 years.
Looking back on where I think there were two big issue with my quit. 1) I got comfortable with my quit and let my guard down and let nicotine sneak back into my life. 2) my first quit was not really a quit for me, it was a quit for my wife at the time. One thing I have learned through reading the site is that you have to quit for yourself, not someone else.
This time I am quitting for myself, under my own accord and not in response to someone's ultimatum. I will be vigilant and focused on posting and supporting my quit brothers and sisters and try with all my heart not to get lazy or comfortable with my quit.
Thanks for your story. That seems like something that would happen to me - smoke a cigar on the golf course and have nic creep back into my life. But, thanks to Facefiller this morning, I will not be getting tricked by the fat stick. Anyway, I am happy you are choosing to quit again and happy that we are going to quit together.
I posted this yesterday in the July group. The days are +1 now, but you can read some of our group's stories.
Drew - Day 2 -
SWATcopUSMC - Day 8 - topic/30186572/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30186572/1/#new)
Grey beard - Day 6 -
Keepmyjawjames- Day 10 - topic/30200265/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200265/1/#new)
RandRooster - Day 2 - topic/30204310/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30204310/1/#new)
Deelow - Day 8 - topic/30198816/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30198816/1/#new)
Tadowdaddy - Day 8 - topic/30200043/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200043/1/#new)
WolfPDX - Day 10 - topic/30200231/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200231/1/#new)
JonIPOG- Day 1-
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My original quit began on January 1, 2007, I remained quit until mid August 2009. My moment of weakness came while on a golf course with friends when I had a cigar. Its not something that I usually do on the golf course but it sounded good at the time. That event was the exactly starting moment of my cave. About a week after that cigar on the golf course I was out with a friend who chewed. I thought to myself "why can I just have one little pinch of dip?" the cigar didn't seem to effect me so why would one little pinch. That lead to me buying a tin a couple days after that. I remember having one dip out of that tin and then throwing it out the window of my car. What followed next was me finding out that my wife was cheating on my, that when I really said fuck it and started chewing full time again. I remember thinking to myself numerous times "I can quit again next week." that turned into 7 1/2 years.
Looking back on where I think there were two big issue with my quit. 1) I got comfortable with my quit and let my guard down and let nicotine sneak back into my life. 2) my first quit was not really a quit for me, it was a quit for my wife at the time. One thing I have learned through reading the site is that you have to quit for yourself, not someone else.
This time I am quitting for myself, under my own accord and not in response to someone's ultimatum. I will be vigilant and focused on posting and supporting my quit brothers and sisters and try with all my heart not to get lazy or comfortable with my quit.
Thanks for your story. That seems like something that would happen to me - smoke a cigar on the golf course and have nic creep back into my life. But, thanks to Facefiller this morning, I will not be getting tricked by the fat stick. Anyway, I am happy you are choosing to quit again and happy that we are going to quit together.
I posted this yesterday in the July group. The days are +1 now, but you can read some of our group's stories.
Drew - Day 2 -
SWATcopUSMC - Day 8 - topic/30186572/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30186572/1/#new)
Grey beard - Day 6 -
Keepmyjawjames- Day 10 - topic/30200265/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200265/1/#new)
RandRooster - Day 2 - topic/30204310/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30204310/1/#new)
Deelow - Day 8 - topic/30198816/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30198816/1/#new)
Tadowdaddy - Day 8 - topic/30200043/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200043/1/#new)
WolfPDX - Day 10 - topic/30200231/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200231/1/#new)
JonIPOG- Day 1-
That's an unfortunately common story around here, but it really drives home the fact that there is no "harmless nicotine" and that you can never have "just one."
Almost all of us have had previous stoppages that were killed by "just one." There are folks on this site who had many years quit and somehow allowed themselves to fall back into the addiction.
It looks like you've used some form of KTC in the past, but I'm not sure how familiar you are with the current site. Post Roll first thing every day and keep that promise. That's the foundation. I'd also encourage you to get to know your quit brothers and some of the other folks on the site. The more you dig in and get involved, the harder it will be to let the others down.
If, as you say, you really want this for yourself, you will be successful. You need to develop some quit tools and dig deep, but you can do it.
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pky1520, I totally responded to you post as a report, the fog is real lol. During my first quit I was on QSExtreme which was a similar site to KTC. Post roll every day and hold your self accountable and pledge to be nicotine free for the day.
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I can relate. Though this is my 1st time with a support group, I've been trying to quit for 35 years. This is the longest I've been Quit and it's due to the support I've gotten here. Throw yourself into this place 100% and it'll make a difference in your Quit. As someone pointed out in the July 17 thread, you've got to make up your mind that come what may, this is your last Quit. If your Quit's success depends on your never experiencing any hardships in life (and I'm preaching to myself now) you might as well not even post a day 1. Cause you now there are more bad days in your future. Make up your mind your Quit for good and build a Quit web of accountability. Post your promise everyday, 1st thing in the morning, exchange digits and get to know your fellow Quitters. Brotherhood +Accountability = Success.
I'll Quit with you today!
Let me know if I can help.
My digits are in your inbox.
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My original quit began on January 1, 2007, I remained quit until mid August 2009. My moment of weakness came while on a golf course with friends when I had a cigar. Its not something that I usually do on the golf course but it sounded good at the time. That event was the exactly starting moment of my cave. About a week after that cigar on the golf course I was out with a friend who chewed. I thought to myself "why can I just have one little pinch of dip?" the cigar didn't seem to effect me so why would one little pinch. That lead to me buying a tin a couple days after that. I remember having one dip out of that tin and then throwing it out the window of my car. What followed next was me finding out that my wife was cheating on my, that when I really said fuck it and started chewing full time again. I remember thinking to myself numerous times "I can quit again next week." that turned into 7 1/2 years.
Looking back on where I think there were two big issue with my quit. 1) I got comfortable with my quit and let my guard down and let nicotine sneak back into my life. 2) my first quit was not really a quit for me, it was a quit for my wife at the time. One thing I have learned through reading the site is that you have to quit for yourself, not someone else.
This time I am quitting for myself, under my own accord and not in response to someone's ultimatum. I will be vigilant and focused on posting and supporting my quit brothers and sisters and try with all my heart not to get lazy or comfortable with my quit.
Thanks for your story. That seems like something that would happen to me - smoke a cigar on the golf course and have nic creep back into my life. But, thanks to Facefiller this morning, I will not be getting tricked by the fat stick. Anyway, I am happy you are choosing to quit again and happy that we are going to quit together.
I posted this yesterday in the July group. The days are +1 now, but you can read some of our group's stories.
Drew - Day 2 -
SWATcopUSMC - Day 8 - topic/30186572/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30186572/1/#new)
Grey beard - Day 6 -
Keepmyjawjames- Day 10 - topic/30200265/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200265/1/#new)
RandRooster - Day 2 - topic/30204310/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30204310/1/#new)
Deelow - Day 8 - topic/30198816/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30198816/1/#new)
Tadowdaddy - Day 8 - topic/30200043/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200043/1/#new)
WolfPDX - Day 10 - topic/30200231/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/30200231/1/#new)
JonIPOG- Day 1-
That's an unfortunately common story around here, but it really drives home the fact that there is no "harmless nicotine" and that you can never have "just one."
Almost all of us have had previous stoppages that were killed by "just one." There are folks on this site who had many years quit and somehow allowed themselves to fall back into the addiction.
It looks like you've used some form of KTC in the past, but I'm not sure how familiar you are with the current site. Post Roll first thing every day and keep that promise. That's the foundation. I'd also encourage you to get to know your quit brothers and some of the other folks on the site. The more you dig in and get involved, the harder it will be to let the others down.
If, as you say, you really want this for yourself, you will be successful. You need to develop some quit tools and dig deep, but you can do it.
Not sure how to read this one boys....is this guy posting roll?
btw - you didn't quit the first time, you stopped....until the Bitch got you back...which unfortunately I know from experience (read my HOF)
quit with you bro....
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I can relate. Though this is my 1st time with a support group, I've been trying to quit for 35 years. This is the longest I've been Quit and it's due to the support I've gotten here. Throw yourself into this place 100% and it'll make a difference in your Quit. As someone pointed out in the July 17 thread, you've got to make up your mind that come what may, this is your last Quit. If your Quit's success depends on your never experiencing any hardships in life (and I'm preaching to myself now) you might as well not even post a day 1. Cause you now there are more bad days in your future. Make up your mind your Quit for good and build a Quit web of accountability. Post your promise everyday, 1st thing in the morning, exchange digits and get to know your fellow Quitters. Brotherhood +Accountability = Success.
I'll Quit with you today!
Let me know if I can help.
My digits are in your inbox.
Mike1966 is right. Quitting needs to be done actively every day. Was a promise made on the day that cigar was taken and smoked? Why weren't you here the next day to fess up? If we keep our promise every day we don't wind up smoking cigars on a golf course.
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I am currently on Day 16, I could lie and say that everything past day 3 is easy, but we all know that is not the truth. I have had my good days and I have had my bad days. I think that is the hard part about quitting, some days I feel like I am making progress and then the next day I feel like I am back on day 2 or 3 in terms of craves or irritability. I know this will get better, it will just take some time. I can say ont thing for sure, I remain quit today
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I am currently on Day 16, I could lie and say that everything past day 3 is easy, but we all know that is not the truth. I have had my good days and I have had my bad days. I think that is the hard part about quitting, some days I feel like I am making progress and then the next day I feel like I am back on day 2 or 3 in terms of craves or irritability. I know this will get better, it will just take some time. I can say ont thing for sure, I remain quit today
I've experienced exactly the same thing. Some claim that day 3 was the worst for them, but for me, I can honestly say day 21 was every bit as bad as day 3.
Also, it seems logical that every day ought to be better than the previous one. But that's not how it worked for me. And from reading intro's and talking to other's here that's not how it works for most. The bad days' begin get farther and farther apart after a while, but when I have a bad day, it's was almost as if I was on day 1 all over again. (I went out and bought some fake dip last week. I haven't had a day like that in weeks, but after a couple of days I felt good again.)
Read the Quitting Pendulum in wastepanel's intro single/?p=1460007t=1007167 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=1460007&t=1007167). To me this is a perfect analogy of the ups and downs of Quitting. Another great analogy, is of an upward bound roller coaster, a quote I got from Kingnothing, that pefectly explains the way the last 367 days have been for me: "The roller coaster has many more ups and downs in store for you..., but the intensity starts to mellow out.... Just keep pushing through ODAAT and the general trend will continue upward. -KingNothing"
Hang in there, it won't get better as fast as you'd like it to.... but it does get better. A lot better!
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I am currently on Day 16, I could lie and say that everything past day 3 is easy, but we all know that is not the truth. I have had my good days and I have had my bad days. I think that is the hard part about quitting, some days I feel like I am making progress and then the next day I feel like I am back on day 2 or 3 in terms of craves or irritability. I know this will get better, it will just take some time. I can say ont thing for sure, I remain quit today
I've experienced exactly the same thing. Some claim that day 3 was the worst for them, but for me, I can honestly say day 21 was every bit as bad as day 3.
Also, it seems logical that every day ought to be better than the previous one. But that's not how it worked for me. And from reading intro's and talking to other's here that's not how it works for most. The bad days' begin get farther and farther apart after a while, but when I have a bad day, it's was almost as if I was on day 1 all over again. (I went out and bought some fake dip last week. I haven't had a day like that in weeks, but after a couple of days I felt good again.)
Read the Quitting Pendulum in wastepanel's intro single/?p=1460007t=1007167 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=1460007&t=1007167). To me this is a perfect analogy of the ups and downs of Quitting. Another great analogy, is of an upward bound roller coaster, a quote I got from Kingnothing, that pefectly explains the way the last 367 days have been for me: "The roller coaster has many more ups and downs in store for you..., but the intensity starts to mellow out.... Just keep pushing through ODAAT and the general trend will continue upward. -KingNothing"
Hang in there, it won't get better as fast as you'd like it to.... but it does get better. A lot better!
There are some days when we think to ourselves "fuck it, I'll just buy a can and I can quit again tomorrow".
How many tomorrows? When will the quit stick?
The stop/cave cycle needs to be broken to succeed at this. The best way I've found is to invest in my quit every day on roll, build a quit web and use the tools here.
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What a difference a day makes. Going back to the story of the quitting pendulum day 28 felt like an all day crave. Today, on day 29, I don't think I had a single crave all day. Funny how this brain re-wiring thing works.
I remain resolute in my quit and i am so enjoying my freedom from the chains of nicotine.
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Well I have entered into my least favorite part of being quit, I am currently at Day 99 and I have entered what I call the "Longing Phase." I am not sure how to classify this phase except for that I have almost a constant longing for tobacco, a longing for the taste and smell of Kodiak that I remember. It almost like a mild depression, I am not sad, it just feels like there is something missing. I went though this during my first stoppage back in 2006 and I know that I have to be strong and work myself through this one day at a time, it just a pain in the ass and annoying and another example of the powerful addiction of nicotine.
If there is one thing I do know from caving before, the cave dip doesn't even come close to being as enjoyable as you mind remembers it being.....
One day at a time, stay strong!!!
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Well I have entered into my least favorite part of being quit, I am currently at Day 99 and I have entered what I call the "Longing Phase." I am not sure how to classify this phase except for that I have almost a constant longing for tobacco, a longing for the taste and smell of Kodiak that I remember. It almost like a mild depression, I am not sad, it just feels like there is something missing. I went though this during my first stoppage back in 2006 and I know that I have to be strong and work myself through this one day at a time, it just a pain in the ass and annoying and another example of the powerful addiction of nicotine.
If there is one thing I do know from caving before, the cave dip doesn't even come close to being as enjoyable as you mind remembers it being.....
One day at a time, stay strong!!!
Gratz on 100. I think you need to learn to HATE dip, it never once did anything good for you.
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Congratulations on hitting 100 days of freedom! Keep after it, you are living better and stronger without it!