KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Idaho_miner on July 02, 2014, 07:11:00 AM
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Hey everyone, I'm 26, never even touched the stuff until I was around 19 when I started my drinking career and I've been chewing and smoking since then. Occasionally I would try to quit chewing and I would just smoke more, or I'd quit smoking and just chew my lip raw. Been wanting to quit for a while and have had a few lazy attempts over the years, but it took finding this site to make me get serious. I started browsing around and reading up on here at the very end of June and I ended up ordering some fake stuff (Jake's) online and decided to start my quit July 5th so I could be a pussy and have one last hoorah over the holiday. The fake stuff came in early and I'd been reading on the site non stop and just feeding on all the energy before me that I said F that, I'm quitting tomorrow and dumped my can right then. Work was rough today. I work underground and probably 80% of the guys there chew, 40% or so smoke with about 20% crossover, so that leaves me aiming to be in the 10% who do neither (like my work partner, who just pops nicotine pills like tic tacs.) I'm all through my first day and was able to stay pretty positive, but it was by no means easy. I can't even imagine thinking about making it a year let alone a week, but I know I can make it a day. And if I can make it a day, I can make it a day again. And I'll keep doing that about 100 more times and wonder how I made it to HOF. Wishful thinking, maybe, but I'm ready. I cancelled my weekend plans with the bitch. We're long past the honeymoon phase, I'm ready for divorce!
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^^^^^That right there is a bad ass introduction. Nice job realizing that an addict can only quit today, not in the future. Nice job realizing that there will be other holidays, other fishing trips, other long drives and more stressful crap in the future, so waiting is nothing more than being a total wuss.
You have the right mindset. One day at a time. One minute, if you need to.
Have you posted roll call yet?
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^^^^^That right there is a bad ass introduction. Nice job realizing that an addict can only quit today, not in the future. Nice job realizing that there will be other holidays, other fishing trips, other long drives and more stressful crap in the future, so waiting is nothing more than being a total wuss.
You have the right mindset. One day at a time. One minute, if you need to.
Have you posted roll call yet?
I just looked. I see that bad ass day 1 you posted in your quit group.
Welcome, sir. Spend some time reading all you can on this site this week. Yell if you need anything.
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Ill quit with this guy. Best part is, you're breaking free of those chains. This 4th of july you'll more free than you ever have.
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I can't imagine being a miner. You must have a pretty good concept of risk. I imagine your eyes take time to adjust when your shift is over. Like you, I could never imagine life without a lip full of poison every waking moment until I got through the first day without it. Then I sucked it up, put my promise down the next day and then the next. My eyes began to adjust and the light at the end of the tunnel was freedom. Our prize is won each day because the risk not to outweigh any perceived benefit.
Welcome to the Ward! Shout if there's anything you need.
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Yes, your intro rocks. Best day 1 quit ever. ODAAT.
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As a miner, you already have enough health issues to avoid. Don't let nicotine continue to be one. Make this shit stick, sir.
Good to have you here.
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Idaho, I can tell that you did do your research on this site, for every time I had an "ah ha" moment reading your intro you fixed it yourself. Post roll today, and I will to, and we can quit for today.
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Good mindset, great choice to quit. Keep reading KTC, and fight for your freedom. Quitting is so hard at first, but it is so worth the fight. Life get's so much better without the poison running your life. PM me if you need anything.
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Caved on my day 10. This was posted earlier this morning, along with my 2nd day of renewed roll call. Thought it seemed a fitting thing to add to my intro page as well since it's part of my quit that I'm technically starting again.
In response to the 3 questions,Â
What happened : I decided to use nicotine. It wasn't an especially strong craving, it had just been a long, exhausting week with very little sleep. Didn't want to go home because I had just spent the day sweating my ass off in a 95 degree mine and didn't want to go home and sweat my ass off in my 95 degree house. Not making excuses here, just describing the circumstances surrounding the cave. I decided to stop by the dark, cool air conditioned bar on the way home. Not really for a drink, just to get out of the sun for a bit. And as I sat there escaping the heat, sipping an ice cold beer, my a thought passed my mind. 'One more escape. A cigarette would take your mind off things, help you relax.' And like an idiot, I said yes. In that moment, with my guard down, I gave nicotine exactly what it wanted. I went about the rest of the day consigned to quitting the quit. All the while, making excuses to myself why I couldn't do this, why it wasn't the right time, etc etc blah blah. The next morning I woke up. In pain. My head an aching cloud, my shoulder a knotty mess, my back stiff. I recognized all this pain. All the things that had slowly been leaving my body over the last few days. But it didn't come back slowly. I didn't start redeveloping these chronic health issues over the course of a 7 year addiction. This was acute real pain in the here and now. That became the real eye opener to how bad thus drug had really been for me, how much damage it has caused.Â
Why it happened: I didn't reach out. I had not been as proactive with the quit the last few days. Began my lunches poorly, being stuck underground without seeds or gum or fake shit to keep my mouth occupied and my mind off chewing. Hadn't been writing in my quit journal. Just being tired and foggy and and not getting any sleep. I didn't even post my own roll on the say caved, just shot a quick text when I woke up at 5(usually 4am, 430 if I'm running late) grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard and ran out the door to to work. I didn't have, or know about at the time, 'the contract' or anything like that to remind me why I'm doing this, and why caving is a terrible idea. I had been coasting along on (pretty) good days, and that had made me complacent. I simply wasn't prepared for a really bad day. That's the gist of it anyways.Â
Why it won't happen again: Waking up and feeling instantly that shitty is a huge eye-opener to why I need this drug out of my life for good. I feel much better without it, which this cave has made crystal clear to me. I'm going to plan my days better and know that shitty days are going to come again. I will carry the contract in my wallet to read if I'm needing a reminder, and I'll reach out if I think I need help. A couple of the October group members have already reached out and now I have actual #s of people, in addition to the kakao app. And for the next 30 days, or longer if need be, I'll stay away from the bars, because that is apparently too strong of a trigger to be exposed to this early in the game.Â
Also, I would like to apologize to the October group. I slipped up once, but there won't be a second time. QLF from here on out. Thanks for the support, harsh words, and encouragement. I quit with all of you today.
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Caved on my day 10. This was posted earlier this morning, along with my 2nd day of renewed roll call. Thought it seemed a fitting thing to add to my intro page as well since it's part of my quit that I'm technically starting again.
In response to the 3 questions,Â
What happened : I decided to use nicotine. It wasn't an especially strong craving, it had just been a long, exhausting week with very little sleep. Didn't want to go home because I had just spent the day sweating my ass off in a 95 degree mine and didn't want to go home and sweat my ass off in my 95 degree house. Not making excuses here, just describing the circumstances surrounding the cave. I decided to stop by the dark, cool air conditioned bar on the way home. Not really for a drink, just to get out of the sun for a bit. And as I sat there escaping the heat, sipping an ice cold beer, my a thought passed my mind. 'One more escape. A cigarette would take your mind off things, help you relax.' And like an idiot, I said yes. In that moment, with my guard down, I gave nicotine exactly what it wanted. I went about the rest of the day consigned to quitting the quit. All the while, making excuses to myself why I couldn't do this, why it wasn't the right time, etc etc blah blah. The next morning I woke up. In pain. My head an aching cloud, my shoulder a knotty mess, my back stiff. I recognized all this pain. All the things that had slowly been leaving my body over the last few days. But it didn't come back slowly. I didn't start redeveloping these chronic health issues over the course of a 7 year addiction. This was acute real pain in the here and now. That became the real eye opener to how bad thus drug had really been for me, how much damage it has caused.Â
Why it happened: I didn't reach out. I had not been as proactive with the quit the last few days. Began my lunches poorly, being stuck underground without seeds or gum or fake shit to keep my mouth occupied and my mind off chewing. Hadn't been writing in my quit journal. Just being tired and foggy and and not getting any sleep. I didn't even post my own roll on the say caved, just shot a quick text when I woke up at 5(usually 4am, 430 if I'm running late) grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard and ran out the door to to work. I didn't have, or know about at the time, 'the contract' or anything like that to remind me why I'm doing this, and why caving is a terrible idea. I had been coasting along on (pretty) good days, and that had made me complacent. I simply wasn't prepared for a really bad day. That's the gist of it anyways.Â
Why it won't happen again: Waking up and feeling instantly that shitty is a huge eye-opener to why I need this drug out of my life for good. I feel much better without it, which this cave has made crystal clear to me. I'm going to plan my days better and know that shitty days are going to come again. I will carry the contract in my wallet to read if I'm needing a reminder, and I'll reach out if I think I need help. A couple of the October group members have already reached out and now I have actual #s of people, in addition to the kakao app. And for the next 30 days, or longer if need be, I'll stay away from the bars, because that is apparently too strong of a trigger to be exposed to this early in the game.Â
Also, I would like to apologize to the October group. I slipped up once, but there won't be a second time. QLF from here on out. Thanks for the support, harsh words, and encouragement. I quit with all of you today.
Miner, I'm not feeling the hate for nicotine you should have. "One final escape" to a drug that is killing you is not the right mindset to have, I think you need to go all in here and hate nicotine like you have never hated anything before. Day 10 and you caved - you should have been feeling better by now, enough so that you know one smoke sets you back 10 days. Use this cave as a huge one time warning of failure, and learn from it. It is hard to convey how much better it gets once you buy in, I had chew offered to me unsolicited on day 99 last night, and instead of caving I am hoping to have a newbie on the site soon. I quit with you today, now you show me what you got.
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Caved on my day 10. This was posted earlier this morning, along with my 2nd day of renewed roll call. Thought it seemed a fitting thing to add to my intro page as well since it's part of my quit that I'm technically starting again.
In response to the 3 questions,Â
What happened : I decided to use nicotine. It wasn't an especially strong craving, it had just been a long, exhausting week with very little sleep. Didn't want to go home because I had just spent the day sweating my ass off in a 95 degree mine and didn't want to go home and sweat my ass off in my 95 degree house. Not making excuses here, just describing the circumstances surrounding the cave. I decided to stop by the dark, cool air conditioned bar on the way home. Not really for a drink, just to get out of the sun for a bit. And as I sat there escaping the heat, sipping an ice cold beer, my a thought passed my mind. 'One more escape. A cigarette would take your mind off things, help you relax.' And like an idiot, I said yes. In that moment, with my guard down, I gave nicotine exactly what it wanted. I went about the rest of the day consigned to quitting the quit. All the while, making excuses to myself why I couldn't do this, why it wasn't the right time, etc etc blah blah. The next morning I woke up. In pain. My head an aching cloud, my shoulder a knotty mess, my back stiff. I recognized all this pain. All the things that had slowly been leaving my body over the last few days. But it didn't come back slowly. I didn't start redeveloping these chronic health issues over the course of a 7 year addiction. This was acute real pain in the here and now. That became the real eye opener to how bad thus drug had really been for me, how much damage it has caused.Â
Why it happened: I didn't reach out. I had not been as proactive with the quit the last few days. Began my lunches poorly, being stuck underground without seeds or gum or fake shit to keep my mouth occupied and my mind off chewing. Hadn't been writing in my quit journal. Just being tired and foggy and and not getting any sleep. I didn't even post my own roll on the say caved, just shot a quick text when I woke up at 5(usually 4am, 430 if I'm running late) grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard and ran out the door to to work. I didn't have, or know about at the time, 'the contract' or anything like that to remind me why I'm doing this, and why caving is a terrible idea. I had been coasting along on (pretty) good days, and that had made me complacent. I simply wasn't prepared for a really bad day. That's the gist of it anyways.Â
Why it won't happen again: Waking up and feeling instantly that shitty is a huge eye-opener to why I need this drug out of my life for good. I feel much better without it, which this cave has made crystal clear to me. I'm going to plan my days better and know that shitty days are going to come again. I will carry the contract in my wallet to read if I'm needing a reminder, and I'll reach out if I think I need help. A couple of the October group members have already reached out and now I have actual #s of people, in addition to the kakao app. And for the next 30 days, or longer if need be, I'll stay away from the bars, because that is apparently too strong of a trigger to be exposed to this early in the game.Â
Also, I would like to apologize to the October group. I slipped up once, but there won't be a second time. QLF from here on out. Thanks for the support, harsh words, and encouragement. I quit with all of you today.
Miner, I'm not feeling the hate for nicotine you should have. "One final escape" to a drug that is killing you is not the right mindset to have, I think you need to go all in here and hate nicotine like you have never hated anything before. Day 10 and you caved - you should have been feeling better by now, enough so that you know one smoke sets you back 10 days. Use this cave as a huge one time warning of failure, and learn from it. It is hard to convey how much better it gets once you buy in, I had chew offered to me unsolicited on day 99 last night, and instead of caving I am hoping to have a newbie on the site soon. I quit with you today, now you show me what you got.
Nicotine isn't an escape its a prison. It will not make you more relaxed, it does not relieve stress, it is not a crutch. It is an anchor.
When you hit that cig, the nicotine receptors in your brain that you worked so hard to kill for the last few days ALL TURNED ON AGAIN. You literally start from zero again. You wasted every one of those days you worked so hard for.
This is a decision Miner, make it. Live with it. There is no just one.
YOU CAN do this. Anything else you tell yourself is a lie.
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You post role today miner? Get back on the Fucking horse, man.
Don't let the excuses and addict logic win.
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I regret to inform you that Idaho_Miner has gone missing once again. He caved on day 10 and begged us as Titans to give him a second chance. We were fooled into believing him serious and he gave out numbers and began his posting again.
He has missed the last four almost five days without so much as a reply to any contact I have attempted with him.
He has been weighed, measured, and found wanting. He has no honor and does not place any value in his word. He is not worthy of being a Titan and has been removed from the hallowed ground that is the Titan's glorious roll.
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That sucks, but such is life!
Now we (TITANS) move on.
I quit with all of you today!!!!!!!!!!