KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Skoal Monster on July 10, 2009, 01:04:00 AM
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Fuck it
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dipshit
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dipshit
You bike riding douchebag, I know that your bike doesnt have a seat, you just kind of bounce on the pole while you make that gurgling moaning noise your so fond of. You probably broke the spokes of that bike on purpose just so you could bend over on the side of the road for long periods of time. Im sure your skinny ass packed into that spandex was looking good to all those Denmark tulip farmers. Did you trade your questionable virginity for some wooden clogs? Yes your still a virgin, the labradoodle and jagermeister incident doesn't count, and I can't believe you had to get that dog that drunk, Guess those things are a bit more choosy than you had hoped huh?
Stay Quit Dumbass and thanks for stopping bye 'rem'
you may now be absolved but first you must read the contract to quit 10 times and hand write anything by 7iron in small print on your boyfriends under roos
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I have nothing to say in here, I am the Hannibal Lecter of quit. Your rage pales in comparison to mine, I guarantee it. I am Jacks nicotine soaked cerebellum. I had to take a walk to dismiss my dip rage today. Fucking dip rage at 170 days!!! I dont even want to chew anymore, but I want to MELLOW. Maybe I just am a fucking dick and need to come to terms with it. I'm tired of being nice. Fuck you if your reading this if your not quit. This is the monster cave and you may not chew here. Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility.
I chewed to keep some odd kind of anger in a cage... its out now.
I saw a guy at the amusement park with his empty water bottle spitter in one hand and his two year old in the other. He looked fucking retarded with that lump of shit in his lip. I secretly wanted him to puke his brains out since we were on the Tea cups. I spun that fucker hard and fast, my kid is tough I knew he could take it. I only managed to turn that dipping douchebag green but no puke. I was mostly pissed cuz I realized how stupid I looked with a chew in. Actually I must have looked cool, but everybody else looks ridiculous. Fuck it
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I have nothing to say in here, I am the Hannibal Lecter of quit. Your rage pales in comparison to mine, I guarantee it. I am Jacks nicotine soaked cerebellum. I had to take a walk to dismiss my dip rage today. Fucking dip rage at 170 days!!! I dont even want to chew anymore, but I want to MELLOW. Maybe I just am a fucking dick and need to come to terms with it. I'm tired of being nice. Fuck you if your reading this if your not quit. This is the monster cave and you may not chew here. Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility.
I chewed to keep some odd kind of anger in a cage... its out now.
I saw a guy at the amusement park with his empty water bottle spitter in one hand and his two year old in the other. He looked fucking retarded with that lump of shit in his lip. I secretly wanted him to puke his brains out since we were on the Tea cups. I spun that fucker hard and fast, my kid is tough I knew he could take it. I only managed to turn that dipping douchebag green but no puke. I was mostly pissed cuz I realized how stupid I looked with a chew in. Actually I must have looked cool, but everybody else looks ridiculous. Fuck it
you ARE a fucking dick
but your our fucking dick!! :wub:
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I have nothing to say in here, I am the Hannibal Lecter of quit. Your rage pales in comparison to mine, I guarantee it. I am Jacks nicotine soaked cerebellum. I had to take a walk to dismiss my dip rage today. Fucking dip rage at 170 days!!! I dont even want to chew anymore, but I want to MELLOW. Maybe I just am a fucking dick and need to come to terms with it. I'm tired of being nice. Fuck you if your reading this if your not quit. This is the monster cave and you may not chew here. Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility.
I chewed to keep some odd kind of anger in a cage... its out now.
 I saw a guy at the amusement park with his empty water bottle spitter in one hand and his two year old in the other. He looked fucking retarded with that lump of shit in his lip. I secretly wanted him to puke his brains out since we were on the Tea cups. I spun that fucker hard and fast, my kid is tough I knew he could take it. I only managed to turn that dipping douchebag green but no puke. I was mostly pissed cuz I realized how stupid I looked with a chew in. Actually I must have looked cool, but everybody else looks ridiculous. Fuck it
you ARE a fucking dick
but your our fucking dick!! :wub:
the term "fucking dick" implies a functionality......
I'm thinkin SM is a little dysfunctional at best......
and the fact that i kinda "get" him worries me a little...... :unsure:
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I have nothing to say in here, I am the Hannibal Lecter of quit. Your rage pales in comparison to mine, I guarantee it. I am Jacks nicotine soaked cerebellum. I had to take a walk to dismiss my dip rage today. Fucking dip rage at 170 days!!! I dont even want to chew anymore, but I want to MELLOW. Maybe I just am a fucking dick and need to come to terms with it. I'm tired of being nice. Fuck you if your reading this if your not quit. This is the monster cave and you may not chew here. Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility.
I chewed to keep some odd kind of anger in a cage... its out now.
  I saw a guy at the amusement park with his empty water bottle spitter in one hand and his two year old in the other. He looked fucking retarded with that lump of shit in his lip. I secretly wanted him to puke his brains out since we were on the Tea cups. I spun that fucker hard and fast, my kid is tough I knew he could take it. I only managed to turn that dipping douchebag green but no puke. I was mostly pissed cuz I realized how stupid I looked with a chew in. Actually I must have looked cool, but everybody else looks ridiculous. Fuck it
you ARE a fucking dick
but your our fucking dick!! :wub:
the term "fucking dick" implies a functionality......
I'm thinkin SM is a little dysfunctional at best......
and the fact that i kinda "get" him worries me a little...... :unsure:
Yeah...I guess he is more the Marv Albert of quit than anything else
"Yes...And it counts!!"
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I have nothing to say in here, I am the Hannibal Lecter of quit. Your rage pales in comparison to mine, I guarantee it. I am Jacks nicotine soaked cerebellum. I had to take a walk to dismiss my dip rage today. Fucking dip rage at 170 days!!! I dont even want to chew anymore, but I want to MELLOW. Maybe I just am a fucking dick and need to come to terms with it. I'm tired of being nice. Fuck you if your reading this if your not quit. This is the monster cave and you may not chew here. Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility.
I chewed to keep some odd kind of anger in a cage... its out now.
  I saw a guy at the amusement park with his empty water bottle spitter in one hand and his two year old in the other. He looked fucking retarded with that lump of shit in his lip. I secretly wanted him to puke his brains out since we were on the Tea cups. I spun that fucker hard and fast, my kid is tough I knew he could take it. I only managed to turn that dipping douchebag green but no puke. I was mostly pissed cuz I realized how stupid I looked with a chew in. Actually I must have looked cool, but everybody else looks ridiculous. Fuck it
you ARE a fucking dick
but your our fucking dick!! :wub:
the term "fucking dick" implies a functionality......
I'm thinkin SM is a little dysfunctional at best......
and the fact that i kinda "get" him worries me a little...... :unsure:
Yeah...I guess he is more the Marv Albert of quit than anything else
"Yes...And it counts!!"
Marv Albert was a biter, and dressed in frilly lingerie. Fuck Marv Albert and the stewardess he rode in on. If Marv albert was chew he would be a can of Cherry skoal bandits or maybe some snus. I hate Marv Albert, if he were here I would punch him in the nads till my arm got tired then Id head butt him til he died or went away. I just realized while thinking about my last post that I probably still look like a tool because I have a big old wad of Oregon Mint Snuff (tobacco free) in my lip. At least Im embarrased about it now. Actually I dont fucking care, and people think Im MORE psyco because Im gutting it all day. Idiots. At least Im not killing myself.
Mule- Saved my quit early so he may leave unscathed, perhaps one spongebob Mantra verse would be appropriate.
Jaydisco- you rookie rat bastard, you probably know Marv Albert on a Carnal level or at least trade lingerie every other Sunday with him. You are wanted in the State of Vermont for covering poodles puppies in imitation Maple and having your way with them. Poodle pedophila!!! how low can you go? and Disco, my god man 40 fucking years ago! that SHIT is not coming back it was never that cool to begin with. Saturday night Fever was gayer than John Holmes, and Travolta is a butt pirate. The teased hair WAS kinda hot but mostly on your sister. Yeah I remember her from the roller rink.
You may exit with 7 spongebob Mantras, 10 minutes of viewing Cancer Pics, and some immediate excercise to ward off the increasing size of your ass
'rem'
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Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility. Fuck it
I hope you know that you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it...people like you!
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Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility. Fuck it
I hope you know that you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it...people like you!
Ah Stuart Smalley, self help guru to the stars.
Perhaps I am good enough, smart enough, and you know what? gol dernit people do like me. Yes NMC you may pass thru the monster cave . But first you must tell me the velocity of a swallow..........and no, I am not referring to how fast Smokey G will gobble a cock.
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Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility. Fuck it
I hope you know that you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it...people like you!
Ah Stuart Smalley, self help guru to the stars.
Perhaps I am good enough, smart enough, and you know what? gol dernit people do like me. Yes NMC you may pass thru the monster cave . But first you must tell me the velocity of a swallow..........and no, I am not referring to how fast Smokey G will gobble a cock.
An African or European Swallow???
Moreover, are we talking about a laden or unladen swallow?
It matters. You have to know these things when you're a king you know.
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Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility. Fuck it
I hope you know that you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it...people like you!
Ah Stuart Smalley, self help guru to the stars.
Perhaps I am good enough, smart enough, and you know what? gol dernit people do like me. Yes NMC you may pass thru the monster cave . But first you must tell me the velocity of a swallow..........and no, I am not referring to how fast Smokey G will gobble a cock.
An African or European Swallow???
Moreover, are we talking about a laden or unladen swallow?
It matters. You have to know these things when you're a king you know.
She turned me into a newt! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr8DIg3oHFI)
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Fuck you if you are quit and in here, what the fuck do you want? All posts will be met with massive hostility. Fuck it
I hope you know that you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it...people like you!
Ah Stuart Smalley, self help guru to the stars.
Perhaps I am good enough, smart enough, and you know what? gol dernit people do like me. Yes NMC you may pass thru the monster cave . But first you must tell me the velocity of a swallow..........and no, I am not referring to how fast Smokey G will gobble a cock.
An African or European Swallow???
Moreover, are we talking about a laden or unladen swallow?
It matters. You have to know these things when you're a king you know.
She turned me into a newt! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr8DIg3oHFI)
yes but did you get better?
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I hate the gardener and his leaf blower, I think Im going to feed him a wafflecone full of bees.
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I hate the gardener and his leaf blower, I think Im going to feed him a wafflecone full of bees.
Skoal Monster, let's box.
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I hate the gardener and his leaf blower, I think Im going to feed him a wafflecone full of bees.
Skoal Monster, let's box.
Ok football fish let us box. I assume since you are a Miami fan that you also hit like a girl. Therefore i win. Now as punishment you must read remshots breaking it down under cancer and quitter stories 3 times and then pass it on to a newbie in need of learnin. 'rem'
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I hate the gardener and his leaf blower, I think Im going to feed him a wafflecone full of bees.
Skoal Monster, let's box.
Ok football fish let us box. I assume since you are a Miami fan that you also hit like a girl. Therefore i win. Now as punishment you must read remshots breaking it down under cancer and quitter stories 3 times and then pass it on to a newbie in need of learnin. 'rem'
Wow...I just figured out what keeps bringing me back to your thread. Your avitar.
The WB Sneaker Monster character looks like a bloddied hair-pie. Last time I saw one that raw was when I finished with your mother. Tuned-her up like like a nascar pit crew.
Oh and SM...why is it your breath smells like you had tube steak smothered in shorts for lunch?
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I hate the gardener and his leaf blower, I think Im going to feed him a wafflecone full of bees.
Skoal Monster, let's box.
Ok football fish let us box. I assume since you are a Miami fan that you also hit like a girl. Therefore i win. Now as punishment you must read remshots breaking it down under cancer and quitter stories 3 times and then pass it on to a newbie in need of learnin. 'rem'
Wow...I just figured out what keeps bringing me back to your thread. Your avitar.
The WB Sneaker Monster character looks like a bloddied hair-pie. Last time I saw one that raw was when I finished with your mother. Tuned-her up like like a nascar pit crew.
Oh and SM...why is it your breath smells like you had tube steak smothered in shorts for lunch?
oh disco, you poor poor masochistic cute little thing. First of all my breath smells like tube steak and shorts because I was kissing your sister, you gotta buy that bitch a toothbrush. I know I was last in line but Damn. As for tuning up dear old mom, not much of an accomplishment as last I saw her she was working as the bearded lady in the circus. She does have a red mustache and that must be what you remember tickling the back of your neck while she played hide the strap on with you. Besides, you couldn't tune a one string yukelele with that thing let alone join a nascar pit crew. Mom said you called it the angry inch. She also said it was bout as angry as a kitten, but she couldn't remember cuz it all happened so fast.
As for my Avatar, that is the Gossamer Rudolph from looney toons not the fucking Sneaker monster. You wouldn't remember because you were only a twinkle in the milkmans eye when Goss was on TV. You grew up on Ninja turtles and transformers (by the way wearing your moms panty hose is NOT a superhero costume). How old are you I wonder? I haven't checked your intro...do you have one? How long did you dip? I am glad you have decided to kick the nic bitch in the taint. She is beautiful and seductive and she will kill you in a New York minute.
Disco, the next chew you put in your mouth may be the one that kills you. It's not likely is it? but the possibility exists. You've played this game before, with each chew, gambling it wont give you cancer. Flip it on its head, I think any chew could and will give me cancer, every smoke could give me cancer. I can feel the cells malfunction in my lip and lungs. I can feel the oxygen mask on my face and the cut of the surgeons knife. All from one lousy dip. Disco, come here and rage all you want , I embrace all the shit you can spout, but quit here too, and help me quit. Your a quivering pile of half baked quit but show potential. Gain strength wherever you can find it. Go and Read the Genny Kern story AND THEN find the link to the caring bridge site and find her blog there. The heart break of her children for the loss of their Dad what they will never share with him. Soccer goals and silly school triumphs all shit he gave up by being a selfish prick with his addiction. He was killing himself before he ever knew how much they would mean to him or him to them. Imagine taking your last breath feeling your daughter hugging your legs begging you not to go...............I don't care how hard this gets I will NEVER put that shit in my mouth and I hope you dont either.Maybe thats what you need to focus on to get yourself past this apathy. Which by the way is the fucking fog. but more on Fog later.
'rem' Good +1 Disco - you owe me 2 contract to quit readings and the above recommendational reading, and seriously get some crest for your sister, Im a big red monster and all but thats some stank.
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More Stuff
There was a post on the site when somebody said once you actually hate the dirt we used to put in our lip, and once we truly despise the company who makes this dirt, and we truly get pissed off, then we take our quit to a new and higher level. I began thinking about this (this is not a quote from the source; it's merely a paraphrase from what I can remember from it), and I began thinking about just a few weeks prior when my family and I had to go to a "Celebration of Life" of a close friend of the family. I remember my bride and I traveling five hours to Eugene, Oregon and all but 20 minutes of that five hours I had a huge lip of Copenhagen in (the 20 minutes was a meal break) and we had to stop so my bride could fill her poor lungs full of toxin. We got to Eugene and I had to quickly spit my "lip turd" out, because I didn't want my mother and father seeing me chew as we met them (and the family of our lost one) for dinner.
Fast forward to the funeral the next day....Kathi was in her mid 50s when she passed away from a massive heart attack. She looked like she was in her late 60s from all the cigarettes she smoked. Kathi was a wonderful woman and would take anyone in and would love anyone. She was the least judgmental person I have ever met...this is no lie. The one thing that I noticed is there were a lot of older people at the funeral with oxygen tanks attached to their body. I couldn't believe it and the majority of them were all smokers. Kathi's husband, son, friends, and family were still ALL smoking! I couldn't believe it.
How is this for hypocrisy....we leave the funeral and head back to Washington State and the first thing I do when I'm away from view of my parents (yes, I'm 28; however, I still respect mom and dad) is fill my lip and Kimberly lights up a cigarette. I said to my bride, "what a bunch of dumbasses." She said, "who, babe?" I said, "those phuckers with oxygen tanks and they are still smoking." My question to myself is, who is the dumbass here?
Looking back at the post about how once we get truly pissed off at this product, we will bring our quit to a higher and new level: I'm pissed off that all of these people were smoking and we just lost a loved one. I'm pissed off this product had such a hold on all of us that we had to lose a family member. I'm pissed off that this product had such a hold on us that I had to fill my lip after Kathi's funeral. I'm pissed off. I'm glad I'm quit. Yes, I still have the "one more dip" craves, but I can never go back (I'm really pissed off I have those "one more dip" craves) . It will be too late for me if I do. I'm glad I met you crazy phuckers on here and I'm glad you are all quit with me. May we all enjoy another day free of this horrible product.
Boy Did I blow this one for you guys being the first one to post up in this group I could have numbers like you guys do now. I have been poking around here alot I thought I would drop I line on what happened to me Well it was pretty simple I thought after 50 some days I could have just one well we all know how that ends not good because it turned into 1.5 can a day habit for another 6 months .catching up to present day I have been free for 50 days today. Whats different this time you might ask Well I have educated myself on this addiction read alot of books and have made some lifesyle changes to compliment my quit most important I realize I will never be able to ingest nicotine again without going back to 1.5 can a day habit Period .Sorry I let you down
RAM
Day 232 Greg5280
An interesting article I read.
The Power of Addiction
By Kiki Bakker
As a therapist of people in distress, I have been frequently exposed to the harsh reality of addicts (substance abusers), their circumstances and their families. Their pain and suffering has deeply troubled me. The overwhelming anguish and helplessness of good and well-intended parents, spouses and children has as a result, become clearly evident to me.
Why has this wave of addiction to substances increased as greatly as it has, only to impact our world with fearsome long term consequences when it not only costs a fortune and serves only to wreck the lives of the addict and its closest loved ones? How does this shocking epidemic breed and always expand when in fact, it should reduce by its very negative reality? We are all aware of the hazards of drug addiction, are we not? Everything about addiction is unconstructive for those of us who are not addicts. The recorded 'benefits' for the addict do not impress us and do not make any sense to the non-addicted population. Yet, for the addict, addiction's apparent advantage is to launch one of the most powerful and destructive bonds that replace and defy all logic.
Addiction grows like a virus within the addict while it marches imposingly into our cities and coerces our children, stealing their lives and damaging their families. The addict's meaningful lifestyle, social interactions and career are usually diminished with addiction. The addict's values, morals and ethics disappear from its world. Unfamiliar mental states, altered perceptions, alien personas and new chemically linked relationships develop for the addict in lieu of all else, ensuring the set up of a 'safe' crowd for a constant supply of the addictive chemical. Hence, the addictive persona arrives uninvited. This persona, by its sheer intensity to control all else, rules the addict's natural personality, IQ and EQ.
It is addiction that has enabled the growth of wealthy businesses for the plant growers and the dealers. Factories that either manufacture the addictive substances or transform them for supply to the street are thriving.... whilst fallen users are reducing in health and dying from interrupted health or unsuspecting over dosage. Others are purposefully ending their lives in final despair at their captivating addiction. Their ray of light was removed by their addiction and they chose not to fight back or live in the dark any longer.
Addiction is beyond cruel. It is an evil that should never have grown to these proportions for we all knew better! Have we done enough to recognize that addiction is the planet's most relentless and ruthless oppressor? Drugs and the ensuing addiction they offer to the user, it would seem are unstoppable!
Rehabilitation fails in far too many instances. Factors such as age, a willingness to internalise the rehabilitation program, the type of recovery program, openness, honesty, the level of denial, emotional triggers, guilt factors, self esteem, changing social circles and the degree of difficulty to just let go of addiction, each play a crucial role in the addict's recovery. The change back to a transparent, coherent quality lifestyle is often too hard for the addict. The addict lets go of life and chooses instead the path of death.
Addiction provides relief, trading drugs for reality! It voids the addict's mind of these realities and the left-over sweet memories. The addict will fall into the gutter of addiction and will succumb to wasting its own precious life, knowing deep inside that it has failed and cannot again face society or the precious family that it harmed. The silent death wish is quietly provoked.
Research is continuous in its exploration to uncover what creates the addictive personality and why some use and others don't. Why is it that a very small percentage of addicts are able to stop and others cannot? It is wiser to assume as a result of this knowledge, that prevention is better than the cure because far too many addicts stumble after rehabilitation.
Be sure to understand that those addicts who actually do make a successful recovery, can only be admired for their strength and determination. They are entitled to the accolades, for few of us really understand what it took to cast the curse aside.
The power of addiction cannot be argued or denied. Addiction's power is like an unsuspecting phantom that shadows the addict for life, tormenting it and hoping always to break it down further. It is not satisfied with the addict alive. It is satisfied only when the addict is dead! Understand the greatness of its power in the mind and soul of the addict, for when you do, you will have gained a true perspective of the power of addiction!
QUOTE (btdogboy @ Jul 12, 2010, 9:54 am)
Golfing with a buddy of mine this past weekend and we got to talking about his Dad. His Dad is adjusting slowly to life alone with out his wife who died a few months back of smoking related issues. It was a long drawn out stressful death for the whole family. I guess his dad is doing well but is depressed a lot. His wife was 12 years younger than he is and they were married over 40 years. It was sad to hear. I found myself getting angry at my friend's dead mother for putting the family through these hard times. She had issues in the past that were corrected, but she kept on smoking until her lungs finaly fucked her over. Selfish and sad.
What I really hate about it, is that I can understand her addict mantality. I understand that you can just keep on doing something completely stupid and unhealthy. I understand how a person justifies an activity that can ultimatly effect everyone around them negitively. The brain can rationalize anything to be acceptible. I tried to explain to my friend about the addicts' mantality, but he was not getting it.
Later I though about how wonderful it must be to have never tried nicotine. My friend will never know what it's like to go without your addiction, because he never tried it. To him it is crazy that people don't just put it down. I envy this. I wish I never knew what it was like to chew Copenhagen. I wish I had no recolection whatsoever of chewing. I'm one quit mother fucker, and loving it! Fortunatly/Unfortunatly I will have to quit everyday for the rest of my life. I am blessed because I have the tools to do it, but cursed because I allowed myself the forbiden fruit.
Alright fuckers .... I'm done. Enjoy your quit today.Â
Day 178 DeantheCoot
This morning, I got caught taking a piss off my sidewalk into my front yard. It was weird and fun.
I live in a rural area. I have neighbors, but they're hundreds of feet away, through the trees. My road is not heavily traveled.
THIS is what I see from my sidewalk.THIS
I was up around sunrise, and I took the dog out. Wearing only boxers, I was groggy, per usual. I stood on the sidewalk and let the dog do his business, and I was talking to myself...per usual.
Mornings often bring a nice surprise: a huge fucking erection. This morning was no exception. So I was standing there, holding the leash, close to naked in the chilly air, and decided to piss. I flopped the waistband of my boxers under my nutsack, further propping my dick skyward.
I began urinating, sending a steady stream up and crowning about chest-level. Of course, I also twisted my hips to create a sprinkler effect. All along, the dog is sniffing the grass and shitting, and I am still talking to myself and kinda growling.
At this moment, I meet eyes with one of my neighbors - a nice woman in her early 60s. She's just trekking along, taking a little stroll in the filtered sunlight, and WHAM...she turns the corner to see a fully erect madman pissing toward the sky.
"Whoooop. Oh.....my...uh...." I heard her utter as she quickened her pace.
I was initially embarrassed. For about two seconds. And then I got to thinking: SHE is probably the one who is embarrassed. It's MY yard, after all. Moreover, it was AWESOME that my dick was that hard. I want to believe she went home and frigged herself into a dizzying orgasm...and has now developed a golden-shower fetish.
I'll piss on her anytime, if she wants.
My quit was a very personal thing for me, and I took a lot of support from KTC, but didn't have much insight to offer in my first 100 days. I'm a quieter sort, anyway.
Within my first year quit, I turned on a friend to the site and posted roll with him through his first 100 days. I found out he caved today.
In addition, a great old friend, the guy who got me started dipping in the first place, killed himself a couple of months ago. The two events conspired to inspire me tonight to dive back in to KTC and help my still-living friend overcome his cave and re-enter the HOF. The following is the best summation I could come up with to help inspire the new quitter....
All you whiny baby noobs need to shut the fuck up and post roll. Today. Everyday. Can't get online? Text it in. Facebook it in. WHATEVER. Get a quit brother. You have no idea what you're in for over the next 100 days (and then the rest of your lives.)
Here's an example of what this shit can do to you... how it becomes the most important thing in your life. What kind of true poison it is. This is not bullshit, and frankly, I don't care if you think it is.
My fraternity brother Sean was the guy who introduced me to Kodiak in 1983 when I was a Freshman at Michigan. We had a blast with the bear in college, and for 20 years afterwards! The bear was our friend; he was always there when something big happened! We got drunk, the bear partied with us! We would strip the stickers off his can and wear them over the alligators or polo players on our shirts! W00T! It was fun dippin'! We were rebels!
This same guy, 48 years old, a Naval Architect, a highly educated engineer, former US Naval officer, father of 3 daughters, 1 grown and 2 in middle school, killed himself 2 months ago. Kodiak didn't make him do it... he must've had other problems that nobody else could fathom... but I do know what was the very last thing he did on earth.
He didn't call anybody and ask for help. He didn't suck it up and do what he needed to do for his girls. He didn't talk to his wife, or parents, or brother, or anybody... he went to the 7-11 and got a fresh can of fuckin' Kodiak, stuck in a big ol' lip turd and blew his brains out.
It's so pathetic that at his lowest point, when he needed something, anything to cling to, something to make him feel human, the fucking nic bitch was his choice. Not his wife, not his kids, not his family, not his friends, but the fucking NIC BITCH.
If you're gonna keep on makin' excuses and getting offended by what people say around here, then you might as well go out in a blaze of glory like my friend did. Or just keep dippin' and let that bullet get into your brain a few molecules at a time. Either way, you're cheating yourself, your friends and your family out of precious time.
We're not here to make friends. We're here to quit. And stay quit. That's it. Do it for yourself. Believe me, everyone else in your life will appreciate it.
Saw the funniest shit last night. Wife and I decided to try some hot wings from safeway for dinner. Looked good and the deli chick stated they were only mild.
Got home, started chowing and found out these fuckers were not chicken wings spiced with Jalapenos or some such thing, they were more like habaneros, flavored with a little chicken and some fuck-you-bitch-your-going-down sauce. Crap all they were hot, really hot, like i tasted pain and licked the sun hot, and this is not the funny part.
In our heat induced delusion, we left these little radioactvie fuckers out on the counter all night, where upon our cat found them and dug the fuck in. You ever hear a cat say "FUCKIN MEOW". That was the funniest shit I have ever seen at 2:00AM, little cocksucker was licking everything trying to get the taste of chicken tender habanero out of her mouth, walls, floor, fridge, windows, her ass, feet, whatever, screaming the whole time. Should have got the camera out but peta would have had a heyday with this shit.
Can't wait for the delivery in the cat box.
Tobacco Company Pays $5M In Groundbreaking Case
Settlement is nationÂ’s first involving smokeless product
By THOMAS B. SCHEFFEY
Kelly June Hill, Executrix, et al. v. U.S. Smokeless Tobacco: The Altria Group, successor to tobacco marketer United States Smokeless Tobacco of Greenwich, has settled for $5 million a lawsuit filed by the estate of a North Carolina man who died of tongue cancer.
The worker, Bobby Hill, initially went to an Ashville, N.C., lawyer, who referred his case to BridgeportÂ’s Koskoff, Koskoff Bieder. Partners Antonio Ponvert III and Christopher Bernard launched a state court wrongful death action in Connecticut.
From the beginning, Ponvert said, Hill and his family wanted to draw attention to the danger of “dipping snuff” and to discourage youngsters from starting its addictive use.
“It’s the first time a plaintiff has won a wrongful death chewing tobacco verdict or settlement in the history of the industry,” said Ponvert. Altria, based in Richmond, Va., also owns Philip Morris, and has a corporate policy of not settling any individual consumer cases, he added. Altria Group spokesman Steve Callahan said, “U.S. Smokeless Tobacco is honoring an agreement it made in this case prior to its acquisition by Altria….We have no current intention to settle cases like this in the future.”
Historically, the tobacco industry has fiercely defended itself in the courts. And for decades, it denied that tobacco is addictive or a health risk. More recently, it has maintained that people know the risks of tobacco and they should take personal responsibility if they use it. In the industry, a no-settlement rule is standard.
But Bobby Hill, said Ponvert, “was an almost ideal client. Bobby Hill was 13 years old when he started using. He became addicted to this product when he was a child, long before warning labels were put on [packages] in 1987.” That fact, Ponvert said, “destroyed any personal responsibility-type defense that the industry likes to use.” The defendant retained five defense firms, including New York-based Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher Flohm, and Winston Strawn, with local counsel duties handled by Wiggin and Dana, in New Haven.
Attorney David S. Golub, of StamfordÂ’s Silver, Golub Teitel, has handled other lawsuits against the tobacco industry, and was clearly impressed by the Altria settlement.
“This is unprecedented and amazing. There has never been, to my knowledge, a time when a tobacco company has settled a case. It’s fabulous lawyering, and a wonderful result,” Golub told the Law Tribune. “Every tobacco company fights tooth and nail, because they’re afraid that if they settle one case, they can never again say they won’t settle. This is groundbreaking.”
Smokeless tobacco, or snuff, comes in small cans and is sold under brand names such as Skoal or Copenhagen. It comes in a variety of “cuts,” which describe the lengths of the tobacco strands. The tobacco sits between the user’s cheek and gum. It’s different from chewing tobacco, which is a much longer cut that is literally chewed.
One previous snuff case has gone to trial. An Oklahoma plaintiff, Sean Marsee, contracted mouth cancer in the late 1980s after five years of chewing tobacco use, and USST medical experts testified that tumors caused by “dipping snuff” took 20 years to develop. The suit seeking $147 million resulted in a defense verdict for USST.
“Bobby Hill used for 20 years, so we would have been able to use their experts in the Marsee case against them here,” said Ponvert. The attorney said the needs of Hill’s widow and two children, 11 and 14, made a settlement for $5 million seem like a wiser course than holding out for more at trial – or maybe nothing. The process of reaching the settlement stage was long and rocky, requiring extensive discovery work and research.
In a 2002 deposition, USST Chairman and CEO Louis Bantle was questioned in another case, and he explained why some 12 million documents in USST files were stamped confidential. Under oath, he conceded they didn’t contain formulas or other business secrets. “A couple of years ago,” Bantle said, “a whole lot of lawyers came to company headquarters and they stamped ‘confidential’ on every single document we had in our possession, whether they were or not.” Ponvert said discovery was challenging, “for the opposite reason one would think.” The plaintiffs “got half a million pages of documents, which made searching them quite interesting. We found some stuff that was out of this world.”
Letters From Children
Some of the most significant material, said Ponvert, was in a cache of internal correspondence from young customers, aged 9 to 18, written between1978 and 1985. “We found about 50 letters from children to the company, and children’s letters would say, `I am 9 [or 10, 11, 14 or 15] years old, and have been using your product.” The kids had complaints and suggestions. “One was, ‘Please don’t raise the price on Skoal, because I only get $5 in allowance, and can’t afford the seven cans a week that I need,’” Ponvert recounted. “They’d say, ‘I really like the mint flavor, could you make it in a different cut?’
Those letters would be sent to the United States Smokeless Tobacco headquarters in Greenwich. According to the lawyers, a letter would be back to the child saying: “Thank you for your comments. We’ll consider your suggestions, and here are five free cans of Skoal.” After it became illegal to send tobacco to children in the late 1980s, the company sent young teens complimentary can openers and lids to keep their snuff moist and fresh.
Company correspondence supported a plan to introduce candy-flavored Skoal “Bandits” to hook young customers. “Bandits” are ground tobacco and flavorings placed in a tea bag-like fabric, with less nicotine so the beginner wouldn’t get too sick, Ponvert said.
“They had this very Machiavellian strategy to entice people into the market and keep them as they became more tolerant to the drug,” he said. “It’s well known that the average age for starting to use smokeless tobacco is between 9 and 11 years old. So it’s a product that’s designed for kids, and is being used by and sold to kids.”
Altria Group obtained USST in 2009. On the Altria web site, the company emphasizes its commitment to prevent underage children from purchasing tobacco products. Its charts show the use of smoking tobacco products is declining. However, smokeless tobacco products remain popular, and may be on the rise, the charts indicate.
In some quarters, smokeless tobacco is touted as a less-lethal way to consume tobacco than smoking. But, Ponvert said, young people need to comprehend fully the potentially gruesome results.
“One of our experts described dying by mouth cancer as `death by autopsy,’” Ponvert said. “Literally, over a 10- or 12-month period, your face just falls away. At first, [Hill] lost part of his tongue. Then they took his whole tongue. Then it takes part of your jaw, and your cheeks and your gums. Then the tumor wound its way around his carotid artery and he died.” •
I can admit it here, but I have taken communion with a dip. If my addiction would take human form I would cut its throat.
You are certainly not the only guy who used to sneak a dip during church. I always had a tin in the inside pocket of my sports jacket . . . if I didn't already have a dip in my mouth, I could slip off for a minute and pop one in.
The crazy thing about being quit - looking back on all those behaviors that seemed so "normal" when you were a user and finally seeing those behaviors for what they truly were . . . the insanity of addiction.
-
Stuff I LIKE
Classic Roll Call Posts
Jarrhedd - Day 7 - All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two font teeth, my TWO front teeth....keep up the quit!!! Way to go December.
odt- not my front teeth, it's the side ones tobacco took from me that I miss
greg40-561-Jerked off so hard last night that can hardly walk. Stay quit.
Misc Forum Posts and thoughts
Hello, new quitters...
You don't see me on here too often. I am in the point of my quit (almost 2 years now - 708 days) where I check-in periodically. Some of you will get to the same point. Others will be more involved, continuing to post daily, maybe even becoming moderators or admin. Unfortunately, some of you will not make it to 100 days, let alone 2 years.
Know this - HAVE A PLAN! If you stick to the plan, then you WILL make it as far as you want. There has yet to be a post that starts "....I felt like caving, so I called (insert fellow quitter's name here), followed the rest of my plan (whatever that is), and still caved......" BE BIGGER THAN THE URGE - your family, friends, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, you deserve that.
I just found out that my best friend has throat cancer. He is 40 years old, and is a "part-time" chewer. He would often go 6+ months without a chew. Oddly enough, he is the one that introduced me to Kodiak. I am in a bit of a haze right now, trying to process what I have just learned. While I do, I felt it important to let you new quitters know that THIS SHIT IS NO JOKE! It will kill you without hesitation. It will control you, own you, and eventually destroy you.
Stay strong to your quits. If any of you need another number, PM me it's yours.
Very Truly Yours,
BAT
I hate nicotine, a part time chewer? fuck. how is it I don't have cancer, I will never understand. Im glad Im quit, I wonder how many chances I had left before it was me. How many do you have?
The addict formerly known as KodiakDan
Group: Members
Posts: 875
Member No.: 5,150
Joined: 8-October 08
I had a real good conversation with Mij this weekend that got me really thinking about how I don't miss acting like a street bum. You see before I committed to this website two months ago, one of my hobbies was rummaging through public trash cans.
During the past couple years, I quit probably on average once or twice a week. The genius, weak quit plan I often utilized was just pitching my partially full tin in the trash. It seemed like the plan always ended up with me going back to that trash can a few hours or maybe a day later to get that little bastard tin out for me to finish chewing.
"I'm quitting this shit once and for all!" Yeah right........There's that freak with the big red truck going in the garbage can again,,,,,to retrieve his best friend.
Multiple garbage cans in the neighborhood park, the little can next to the ATM machine where I do a nightly deposit, grocery store parking lot cans, various dumpsters. I would get pissed off at the chew for ruining my life but always ended up forgiving, followed by the urge of wanting to save my little buddy from that stinky trash. Hell, I remember going back for a tin in a bee infested trash can and not thinking twice about it, driving through the ATM lane during business hours just hoping that tin was situated in a spot where I could snatch it quick without anyone noticing.
Not only trash cans, but what about all the partial tins I threw out the window while driving. I hate littering and have road-raged like a lunatic more than once after seeing someone else throw their shit out the window. What a hypocrite I was. Same thought process, different failed quit - I think my little buddy landed in the front yard of this house. What the fuck is that guy looking for?????? Yo idiot, what are you doing parking that truck in a jug handle........why is that dude looking looking through the jug handle trash????? Because that's where my buddy landed.......I have to find him. What's up with the spotlight???, etc, etc, etc......
I could go on and on, but it's no longer necessary because the humiliation is done, the behavior is done and this chapter of my life is over. DONE DEAL!!!Â
I had to flush my cans when I would decide to throw them out for the same reason. One time I flushed it and when to the store the same night for one more dip, then flushed that can too. IDIOT
visamoht @ Sep 30, 2008, 7:16 am)
My what a difference 20 days makes.
My world continues to crumble. Quitters continue to fail.
Anger, fear, resentment, despair, isolation, all continue to eat away at my resolve.
Thanks to those of you who are still here.
I have noticed over the last couple weeks that the further I get away from this sight, the more the fog settles back in.
For those of you who want to stay quit, here's my advice:
Stay close, stay strong, stay quitÂ
quitting nicotine is one of the hardest things I have ever done. But staying close to this site and quitting one day at a time makes it much easier. Ultimately, I found that helping others fight the addiction seems to help me as well. It forces me to keep the addiction in the forefront of my mind. While I have been quit for 200 days, I still need to confront my addiction on a daily basis, I have seen too many fail because they became complacent and forgot how difficult it was to find the courage to quit and then the will to stay quit. I think alot of people here are stunned how hard it is to quit. Over and over they complain its different for me it's harder. I could find 300 posts on this site just like this one that show somebody struggling. Anger, Fear, resentment, anxiety, it's all part of the quit. Its the price you pay to earn your freedom.
Here's something to think about:
almost every one of us thought about quitting and figured: sure, they can do it, but they are not nearly as addicted to this shit as i am. i can't even think if i go a couple hours without it.
well guess what? i guarantee there are some bastards in here who were more addicted than you and they've quit for good. they just saddled up and faced the music.
it's not easy. if it was, we'd all be quit without this site. a great quitter once said: remember, your not craving becasue you're quitting, your craving because you started in the first place. its time to fix that.
so, you really don't have an excuse. you're not a special case. neither was i. time to quit.
I crave because I started in the first place.... very similar to Alan Carr's Tobacco does not fill a void in your life but creates one.
I don't pipe up much on this site, but on this day, I give thanks that the guys mentioned above have saved, and changed, my life. I'm less than a month from the HOF, but I'm a lifetime from the man I used to be. This is my first Thanksgiving in 24 years that I didn't have a dip immediately before and after Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving used to be a day I dreaded, being surrounded by my wife's family and friends, and unable to have a dip for at least 8 hours.
When I woke up this morning, I didn't think of having a chew at all until I was on my way there for dinnner, and only as an abstract thought. Once there, I literally didn't think about it until after I got home. If you had told me a year ago that I would be required to give up Skoal by next Thanksgiving, I probably would have killed you on the spot.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't chime in much, but the group of you -- veterans from long ago, to the guys just starting, keep me on the right track every single day. A day doesn't go by that I don't sign on this site and see how proud the old guys are, and how much life sucks for the new guys. It keeps me quit, and I thank each and every one of you for that. The admins and mods deserve special recognition. I haven't been able to determine that there is any other reason they do it than for the sole purpose of helping their fellow man, and I hope that someday I'm able to return that favor in any fashion.
I don't remember where I read it, but it sticks with me. Quitting is simple -- you just put down the can, and never pick it back up. But, as with everything, the devil is in the details, and in the doing. You have to confront yourself, and engage in that mental battle where you finally say that you're going to quit, regardless of the consequences.
That battle is both terrifying, and liberating. Terrifying, because you finally come to grips with something you've long hoped you'd never have to make a decision on (quitting), and liberating because you made that decision, and have started on a new path on which you will either succeed or fail -- no "nice try" bullshit -- this is your life, where you realize that this is the point at which you can no longer avoid your weakness, but must confront it. I would not have made it without the people that have been down this road before me, and the people that are right behind me.
There are more people that have helped me get this far, and I'd fuck it up trying to mention each one and why -- I'll save that for the HOF. I'll simply say this for tonight: I give thanks for each and every one of you, named and nameless, who have helped me get to this point. You saved my life. They don't fully appreciate it yet, but my wife thanks you, and my one -year old son thanks you as well
(cubs204 @ May 25, 2009, 11:20 am)
Dont know where else to post this so Ill put it here. My mom just called me. My uncle has had major circulatory problems related to smoking for the last few years. The doctors told him 5 weeks ago that he had to quit smoking to be able to remove an artery from under his arm and put it in his legs, otherwise they will have ot amputate at some point. My uncle went into the doctors yesterday, he hasnt quit smoking, and told the doctors he wont. The doctors said he has less than 3 months for his left leg, 6 months for his right. My uncle is effectively choosing nicotine over his legs. Nicotine over legs. Nicotine over legs. Nicotine over the ability to ever walk again. I will never put that shit in my body again.
(65fl @ Dec 23, 2008, 10:13 am)
I wrote this a while ago but didn't post it, I thought it was too personal. But then I got thinking, I've poured my heart out here when I was deep in the funk and it helped. Perhaps this will help with my grief.
An Addiction and a Wish
My father is an addict. His drugs of choice are booze and cigarettes. He struggled for many years with alcohol but hasnÂ’t had a drink in over 10. Nicotine is a different story. Cigarettes have ruined his health, he has less than 15% lung capacity. He is on oxygen and must take constant breathing treatments. He cannot walk more then 10 feet without resting, so he is in a wheelchair whenever he leaves the house. He struggles for every breath. He has had a heart attack and a stroke, both attributed to smoking. My father has never quit, he is just too weak to buy cigarettes on his own and no one in the family will buy them for him. He still tries to buy them if we take him into a store, but we actively prevent his purchases. My father is reduced to smoking butts he finds in ash trays, he use to pick them up off the ground but canÂ’t bend over that far anymore. It is truly sad to see how far he will lower himself to get a nicotine fix.
My mother passed away unexpectedly 11/17/08. I got to watch my father’s heart break that night, it is not something I ever want to witness again. I have relived that moment many times in my mind, I wish it would stop. That night as I was helping my dad into the house, he turned to me and said, “Butch, I want a drink, but I will not ruin the memory of your mother by turning back into a stinking drunk. But please, help me get a cigarette.”
I too was just dealing with a nicotine crave, I moved my tongue between my gum and lip, knelt down before him and said, “Dad, if I get you a cigarette, I might as well buy a can and pack my lip. But I will not let the night my mother died become the night I restart chewing. This is your torch to bear. You must endure losing the love of your life, so she does not have to feel that pain. This is your final gift to mom, don’t tarnish it with booze, don’t tarnish it with cigarettes.”
Well neither of us caved that night. I chose not to, IÂ’m not so sure about my dad. I would love to write about how stoic he is, that he has finally controlled his nicotine addiction. Unfortunately itÂ’s not true. If you put a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes in front of him IÂ’m positive the whiskey would be smashed on the floor, but the cigarettes would be smoked in less than a day. I doubt that he would even remove the oxygen cannula from his nose, the extra oxygen would help him smoke faster.
Addictions suck, I guess that is the point of this story. But it is something all of us know to varying degrees. I wish I could help my dad really quit, but the best I can do is not enable his habit. I wish I could help others quit. I use to post every day in the newer quit groups, looking for a way to help someone. Now I donÂ’t see the point.
I havenÂ’t had a crave since the night my mom died, my sister thinks it is a gift from mom to me. I wish I believed that. I feel I have fallen into a hole and canÂ’t get out. The pain of losing my mother is still so raw. When IÂ’m not replaying the memory of my fatherÂ’s heart breaking, I get to relive the horror of telling my handicapped brother that mom died. He was so dependent on her, seeing him break down is something I wish I could erase. I wish I would stop hurting. Friends tell me the pain will fade with time. I believe that, I just wish it would fade sooner. I wish I had the urge to chew, I wish I could go back to fighting my addiction; it would take my mind off this pain. I wish for a crave.
SmokeyGÂ Â That makes perfect sense JW. There was a point when I consciously replaced the word "crave" with "urge". I have physical urges for nicotine, but I crave freedom more than anything else. Amen.
(Skoal Monster @ Aug 14, 2009, 10:53 am)
Ah the coot, yes yes you are feeling some pain, a sense of loss perhaps? You quit for 100 days it was almost fun, a challenge, the community and the brotherhood were exciting and new. But now the first kiss is over and your quit is not so novel eh? Slowly reality sets in that you are really quit and your not going back THIS MY FRIEND IS A GOOD THING. However, Sally Rotten Crotch nic bitch isnt done with you yet, she's starting to whisper in your ear..... "Dean baby enough of these games, you know you can't leave me forever so why don't you just give up?" "Don't you love me anymore?"Â
I too hit a post Hof funk that was harder than the first two weeks of my quit. Its a gut check boy o .
  There is nothing wrong with you a dip could fix, Chew does not fill a void in your life but creates one. You have lost nothing by giving it up. You say you still love it? What did you love you don't have now? Did it enhance your enjoyment of life? I doubt it. Perhaps your spouse found you more attractive, she always liked the pics in National Geographic of the dudes with a plate in their lower lip. Were you a better dad ? constantly hiding from your family or holding your baby in one hand and a spitter in the other? It helps you relax?, yes yes, but medically you know that's bullshit, it raised your bp and heart rate. the relaxation you felt was just getting back to normal because you fed the addiction and removed the withdrawl. Maybe you are secretly in love with Ahmed the gas station attendant, you miss going in and saying. " no not that can the other one,no to your left, no not the fucking peach god dammit the Copenhagen you fucker" All the while wanting to jump behind the counter and kill him cause your fiending.
 There is nothing to miss Dean, its a scam.
The nic bitch is the mental version of the Sham Wow fag, you need to turn the fucking channel or put in some ear plugs. Honestly what helped me is finding some other poor deluded addict on his day one and watching him struggle like hell. It was almost sadistic at first. I felt satiatied when they hit the fog and the funk and the headaches and first no sleep then can't sleep enough, and the mouth sores and the fear of cancer. Watching them helped me stay quit because I hated that and won't do it again. I remember being desperate to stop and each night laying in bed thinking tomorrow tomorrow I wont dip. Watching guys cave forces me to remember that and not become complacent with my quit. Then it turned from love of dip and a sense of loss to a militant hatred. You have to cultivate that hate. Watching people struggle today pisses me off, not at them, but at the addiction. It is crazy the toll nic takes on us both mentally and physically. Find some strugglers in the new group and try to shepard them thru to the Hof. Don't get discouraged with yourself if they cave, many will. It will only remind you how far you have come and what you left behind. This will strengthen your quit. If they do make it, sharing the struggle with them will strengthen your quit as well.
Good luck Dean The Quitter
Good +1
AngusGt WTF IS THIS CRAP ABOUT MISSING IT?!?!?  Seriously, you're going to miss killing yourself? Or maybe it's how sexy your wife thinks you look with spittle on your chin and a big goofy bump in your lip... IF GOD INTENDED YOU TO HAVE A BIG BUMP IN YOUR LIP HE WOULD OF PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE BEFORE KICKING YOUR ASS OUT YOUR MOMMA'S WOMB!!!
Missing it is a fucking lie, why does everybody fall for that trap???
For all you fuckers, This funk thing is a nightmare,mine hit around the nid 60's and didn't leave until 75. Like Mrogers I also had issues with my wife, whom I love. I realized that I had been treating her horribly for years due to my addiction, I literally would rather sit alone and dip than spend time with her!! how fucking selfish. When I quit I soon realized that I had to re learn how to relate to my bride. Instead of just popping in some skoal when she was pissing me off I actually had to learn how to talk to her. Maybe somebody else can explain it better. All I know is alot of my personal relationships suffered because of dip, and when I quit it took some work to start repairing them, maybe its like in AA where you have to make ammends?
The other thing that has been pissing me off about dip is this... ITS A BIG FUCKING LIE.I quit because dip didn't work for me anymore, I could not chew enough dip to satisfy my craving. I could smoke marlborough reds one after another with a fucking chew in and I still couldn't kill the crave. So then I read this damn book by some fag named Alan Carr and he describes how a nicotine addict eventually reaches a point where they cannot ever achieve a level of satisfaction. I was spending all day trying to feel normal, and to get to normal I had to chew like a beaver on crack. And get this, "normal" is what we felt like before we became nic addicts. So Im living my life feeding a fucking monkey buckets of cancer so I can feel ALMOST as good as I did before I started dipping. What a fucking scam. This is why you see smokers that light one off another all day long, they can't kill the crave. So we spend our lives in a perpetual state of withdrawl, always pissed, always craving, always scheming for another dip.
FUCK THAT, I dont care how bad the funk gets, I will not go back to that life, I don't care if I have one bad crave a day forever, I dont care if I crave all day forever, That would still be better than dipping all day everyday, I am calmer now, I engage with my kids, I can eat dinner and not be jonesing for a dip in the middle of the meal, I can have a real relationship with my wife. I have to deal with my feelings, which is something I haven't done without a wedge in my pie hole in 20 plus years. I am free of the biggest bunch of bullshit ever thunk up by man, I will not go back to that no matter what the fucking nic bitch whispers to me.
Lastly, for those of you thinking about caving, here is what I know. The chew that your craving right now, the one you think is gonna be so good isn't the one your gonna get. Your nic soaked brain is thinking about your best dip, maybe your first dip or that one in the bleachers from highschool, but thats not the dip your gonna get when you cave. The cave dip is going to be just like the LAST DIP you ever had, you know the one, it was shitty and you didn't want it but you took it anyway. That dip didn't do shit for you but make you feel worse about chewing and hiding it, and killing yourself with it. THAT is the dip to remember, and that is the dip you get when you cave, except now you have 100 times the guilt because you were free and you threw it away. What a fucking moron I would be to want to have that particular dip.......Again. If you chew then you have tried to quit and you know that what Im saying is true, at least it was for me. Im not having that dip ever again. So as bad as all the fucking craves are and the faggitty funk is I for one will suffer thru it, because the hours or days or minutes that Im not battling that shit are truly mine and I am free. Its worth it... Oh and Special ED can FUCK OFF OR POST BELOW THE LINE, Scooter gets a pass because he is hung like a stallion and therefore meets May quitter criteria. Sorry for the long rant
My trip into the funk
Aug 25, 2009, 11:44 am Trapper,Aug 25, 2009, 10:24 am I never did a personal page so i am posting this where my best friends are.
Ok FOQer's, How do i start this. I have tried to be vocal in KTC about caving and why there is no reason or excuse to cave, Most of the cavers have stated because of this or that mainly stress related issues. I have told you all earlier that there is a huge amount of stress in my life, 1- A spec home that is going back to the bank,2- business is down over 60%, 3- This quit is close to breaking up a 30 year marriage, Today is our 30th anniversary. And for an anniversary gift i get the news yesterday that i have malignant Melanoma, FUCK what else can happen this year, 2009 is fucked up. I'm not writing this to ask permission to CAVE. At this point I dont think i need permission from anyone to cave if i really wanted to. NOT TO WORRY I'M NOT CAVING even though i have 4 of the best reasons i have ever heard to do so.
After i got the news yesterday as staggering as it was i had no desire to chew or even think about chewing or going back to the can. I'm lying i did think about it, but there was no desire. As my speech said it does get better.
I go in for surgery,and radiation on thursday, they tell me it will be about 2 weeks before they will know how far its gone or what further treatment will be recommended.
If i can continue this quit with everything that is going on in my life, anyone can quit. THERE IS NO FUCKING EXCUSE.
Keeping a positive attitude!!!!
Thank you April 09 and all my quit brothers on KTC!!
Trapper
Damn brother - that is some shit.
Here is my take - this kind of stuff can effect you one of 2 ways.Â
First is to give you an excuse to do whatever the fuck you want - be it drinking too much, picking up a meth habit or even buying a fresh tin. When life rolls shit like this at you - you use it as an excuse to fall apart. Unfortunately, it seems society today is far too accepting of this course of action.
Second - be a fucking man about it and get stronger as you go through it. Accept that life sometimes sucks dick and unfortunately, it isn't your dick. Nothing you touch seems to work out the way you wanted it to. Everyone around you seem to give a shit less about your problems and the weight of all your daily burdens seem somedays like they are going to bring you down.
You my bad brother, are following the second path. This shit WILL make you stronger and strengthen your resolve. You will face this shit head on and get through it better than you were when you started fighting. That is what I like about this place - we don't shy away from the BS in our lives. At times, I sure want to but have realized that there is no easy way out but to take the aggressive stance and get it done.
I will have you in my prayers for the best possible outcome to the Melanoma. There is a quitter on this board who has gone through the same thing within the last 6 months. I will leave it to him to contact you if he feels the needs as I am sure he will read this.
Keep the faith my friend - you can and will get through all this as well as the first 100 days of the quit - everything happens for a reason - you just need to find that reason. You have the right attitude - don't change it with a phone call to me asking permission :)
Trapper, bud, you've got 100% of our thoughts/prayers/support right now. You keep this attitude and you'll come out on top of all of your problems! I believe that a positive attitude in light of bad circumstances can help you in the healing process physically. YOu can fight this cancer and come out on top. You can fight for your marriage, and you'll come out on top. And you can fight for your business and come out on top.
You are right: you don't quit regardless of some imminent problems. They aren't failures until you give up. God bless bud. Let me know if I can do anything from over in Houston.
This is a man facing cancer, divorce, and failure of his business. Yet he is steadfast in his quit. What possible excuse to cave do you have? Rkymtn hits it on the head, you can use lifes shitstorms as an excuse to self destruct or take it on the chin and come back for more. Each time you get back up and keep fighting you get stronger. The next point is dead on as well, it's only a failure when you quit trying.
Your right, we do understand. This habit will make you lie to everyone including yourself. I never thought I could quit, this site helped me tremendously. The thing is you have to use it correctly. After 219 days quit this is what I know.
1. READ everything on this site- Start with words of wisdom and the Hof speeches, and I MEAN ALL OF THEM!!! then the CANCER and QUITTER Stories. Yes every single one. This will take you a week but start reading each day until you find something you can latch onto for that day. Just like the Tom and Jenny Kern story tore you up, find something each day like it. In the beginning this is hugely helpful.
2. GET PHONE NUMBERS AND USE THEM- if I or someone else offers you their phone number I fully expect you to call me if you are struggling. Even if you just need to BS to keep your mind of dipping. It's ok!! thats why I offered it to you. I can help you stay quit if you call.
3. GIVE YOU NUMBER TO YOUR FELLOW QUITTERS- they will keep you accountible when you slack. They can text, call or E-mail your craving ass when you think your going to disappear and start dipping again. This is the first step in becoming accountable to your group and your quit. If I have your number and you haven't posted I WILL CALL OR TEXT YOU for an explanation.
4. POST POST POST!!!!! Chaces are whatever crazy fucked up thing your going thru, somebody here has already been thru it. Getting fat? losing your mind? can't sleep? sleep too much? weird things going on with your yap? sunflower seeds make you feel super sexy? POST THAT SHIT UP. I can't help you or tell you its normal if you don't share. This includes when your kicking ass, beating down cravings, or totally freaking out. When you post and open yourself up to the group, you will be suprised at the strength of their support.
5. Help who you can, when you can, how you can. Helping another is a sure way to strengthen your own quit. If you know that I am counting on you to help me stay quit, can you cave?
6. CHAT- use the chat room, I was in there every day for the first 100 days. When your having a hard time ASK FOR HELP!!!!!!!! There is alot of pointless conversation and chit chat going on in there, but if you break in and tell people that you need help, YOU WILL GET IT. It might be a kick in the ass or a helpful push but you will get help. If you don't reach out you will get nothing in return. YOu are not weak for reaching out so don't be embarrassed. This is a support site use the support stupid.
7. HAVE A VOICE- the most active quitters are generally the most successul. Talk about what is working or not working for you, ask questions.
8. REMEMBER THAT THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE REASON TO CAVE. Not a single one, not ever. I don't care what happens to you in the next 100 days. There is not a single scenario that will improve because you started chewing again. Chew doesn't help anything except keeping you addicted to nicotine.
9. You will feel like shit for the first few days and maybe even weeks. So what? That is your body expelling all the poison out of it. The pain of the initial withdrawl is referred to here as the suck. Embrace the suck, dont ever forget how shitty it is. You will only have to do it once if you can remember forever how hard it was. The SUCK is the price you pay to win your freedom from nicotine.
10. IT DOES GET BETTER EVERYDAY. You will not wake up on day 22 and be all better, you won't be all better on day 4 or 44 or 104. Each day your body heals a little bit. Your circulation comes back a little bit, your anxiety starts to ease up. Your more even tempered (that one took some time for me) Etc Etc. But here is the catch, it's like watching a plant grow. You can't see it and its slow, at some point you will realize there has been a change in how you feel, physically or emotionally but you will not be able to recognize when it happened. The best part is after a awhile controlling your addiction gets easier and the changes become larger. Quitting this poison will not only save your life, it will change your life.
This is hard so you better get tough. The tools above will make it easier to win your freedom, but only if you use them. Good luck
Skoal Monster
SmokeyG
'Bout time we start reclaiming control of other aspects of our lives and choices, eh? Hate to break it to you Octopussies, but this isn't just about quitting nicotine.
Flashman
Today I had to attend a family reunion. I had dreaded this for days leading up to it. The reason for dreading it was that, as long as I remember, it was a big source of stress for me. This year ended up being quite different. I had practically no stress.Â
When I mentioned that to my wife, she just smiled, which was odd. What the hell did she notice that I didn't? I tried my best to figure it out, then finally asked her what the hell was so different this year. She said that "I" was different and it was true.
I no longer had that sinking helpless feeling where I was trying my best to figure out how to score my dip fix. I wasn't stressing over a plan of escape in to the woods or to the bathroom to worship the fatty in my lip. Instead, I was relaxed and enjoying the company.Â
I have a distant cousin that I enjoyed talking to today and discovering how much we have in common with our jobs, the sports we like, music, etc. I asked him why he hadn't been in years and he told me he had, but I seemed too elusive and occupied to talk.
Aside from being away from something that could eventually take my life at any time, I am really starting to see how much of a prisoner I was to that crap. It ruled me. It dictated what I did. It robbed me of precious time with family and friends. I was a fucking puppet and nic pulled the strings. Think for a moment how much nic has robbed you of your lives too. Write that down and never forget it.
(Ricko @ Sep 21, 2009, 12:19 pm)
So I Stay Near the Door" was read in a training meeting that I attended for Young Life. It is a very powerful and moving poem written by Sam Shoemaker. Who is that I wondered. Well one of the or the founder of AA. I added a link so I would not have to type the whole thing. I really was thinking as to why we stick around and encourage others to quit tobacco and bam here is an AA connection.
So I Stand Near the Door"
“I stand near the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world—
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
ThereÂ’s no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside, and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men.
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it . . .
So I stay near the door.
“The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door—the door to God.
The most important thing any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch—the latch that only clicks
And opens to the manÂ’s own touch.
Men die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter—
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it—live because they have found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him . . .
So I stand near the door.
“Go in, great saints, go all the way in—
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics—
In a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms,
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening . . .
So I stand near the door.
“The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving—preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stand near the door.
“I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.
Where? Outside the door—
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But—more important for me—
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch,
So I shall stay by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
‘I had rather be a door-keeper . . .’
So I stand near the door.”
This sums up what I have been reaching for for the last months, why it is important to stay. If you leave the site too early you lose perspective about how far you have come and what is at stake. Staying and helping others has been the best way to solidify my quit, and remind me what my addiction has cost me . I think I'll stand here by the door for awhile more, I hope you do too.
Posting every day.....yep
Hit the HOF
Fall below the line
Natural to take a deep breath, but...
enough of that shit
HOF celebration is over
Back to the quit with the vengeance you had during your first week.
How many people have we seen come back to this site since we have been here with '07 or '08 join dates??
Too Fucking many..
How do you think they got there?
Complacency...
Quit
Post
Quit
Post
Quit
Post
This shit is a marathon...not a sprint!!! (Bscar Sep 09)
(ryano34 @ Nov 4, 2009, 3:47 pm)
Very interesting article I found today.....
Nicotine Warning for Cold Turkey Quitters
Roughly 80-90% of all new quitters attempt to quit cold turkey (abrupt nicotine cessation). If you are one of them then you need to know that many highly respected websites contain advertisements, quitting instructions and articles created by the pharmaceutical industry for the purpose of getting you to purchase nicotine (which they have renamed medicine) and use it (which they have renamed therapy). Their super slick marketing is designed to make you quickly believe that you have very little chance of succeeding unless you rush-out and purchase nicotine weaning products such as the nicotine patch, nicotine gum or nicotine lozenge and immediately put nicotine back into your bloodstream.  They do not want you to believe in "you." They do not want you to reach for education, understanding, new skills and support, as honest tools that make dreams come true at rates that make those achieved by their weaning products laughable.
Sadly, very few sites are sharing useful, recent and honest NRT data with quitters. Those with a financial stake must keep secret the fact that a March 2003 NRT study review by paid pharmaceutical industry consultants combined and averaged all seven over-the-counter nicotine patch and gum studies and found that 93% of those who "believed" and "trusted" in the nicotine weaning message failed and relapsed to smoking nicotine within six months ( link to full text of March, 2003 study ). Nor will those receiving donations or profits for allowing nicotine to be marketed at their websites warn you that too many among the 7% who do quit smoking for six months have instead become permanent chemical captives to the very product they purchased to help them break nicotine's grip upon their mind. Nor will they tell you that if you have previously tried and failed while using nicotine weaning products that, according to two nicotine patch recycling studies, your odds of relapse during a second attempt may be as high as 100%.
But most importantly, these sites continue to refuse to caution the 80-90% of new quitters who arrive having quit cold turkey, that if they have remained 100% nicotine free for 72 hours that their blood is now 100% nicotine-clean, 90% of nicotine's metabolites have passed through their urine, and that for them chemical withdrawal has peaked in intensity and is now beginning to gradually subside. Any nicotine use at this point constitutes chemical relapse that will require them to repeat nicotine detox all over again. This is the "Law of Addiction."
But take heart if you are quitting cold turkey. According to the American Cancer Society's Cancer Facts Figures 2003 report, 91.2% of all successful long-term quitters are today quitting entirely on their own without using Zyban, Wellbutrin, hypnosis, acupuncture, magic herbs, and without toying with any gradual nicotine weaning products like the patch, gum, lozenge, spray, or inhaler.Â
You'd think that government researchers would be heavily engaged in studying "their" method of quitting and "their" secrets. You'd think that they'd be developing websites to service the cessation needs of the 80-90% of all new quitters who they know are today engaged in a cold turkey quitting experience. You'd think that their sites would have warnings to protect cold turkey quitters from pharmaceutical grade nicotine relapse. You'd think that government and major health non-profits would have lots of articles on how to take the mystery and cold out of quitting cold.
Sadly, it simply isn't happening. The pharmaceutical industry is making billions selling nicotine to nicotine addicts, their sphere of influence extends beyond your wildest imagination and they know that the only way to continue to increase market share and profits is by continuing their campaign to destroy the credibility of earth's most productive means of quitting - abrupt nicotine cessation.
John R. Polito, Nicotine Cessation Educator
Post by Crew-Â
(JpCrew @ Jul 20, 2009, 12:27 pm)
My aunt passed away last year. She had a very, very rare disease. One of the rare 13...
I can't remember the name...but that's not my point.
Her last 2 months, she was in the hospital. Her body was shutting down. The blood transfusions and bone marrow transplants didn't take.
I was a ninja dipper at the time. I only chewed at work, or to put it another way, I didn't chew around my wife. So if she left for the store, I'd purposely stay home to chew...
My aunt, was being kept alive by machines. My side of the family, all went to the hospital to see her and pay our last respects. her family was there to..her sisters, Mom, kids, husband, etc.
So I went, but my wife stayed home with our daughter. To get into my Aunts room, you had to be buzzed on to the Oncology department, then, wash your hands, put on a gown or mock, then go into her room.Â
I was scared to be honest. It's a good thing my Mom is a very strong person. I basically just stood as close to her as I could.
I found out a few things that night.
1 - We washed our hands and wore the gown so as the rest of the floor wouldn't catch something we brought in. Why? Their immune system has been desemated and they are prone to attack by the slightest disease.
2 - I didn't know what oncology meant. I found out while there, it meant Cancer. As in, I was sitting int eh Cancer ward of the hospital.
They planned to, and pulled the "plug" while we were all there. It was time.
I won't go into detail about it.Â
I did something that night, that I am so disgusted by that this is literally the first time I've ever told somone / anyone. Even my wife!
I shit you not, I chewed while I was there. In my aunts room. I ninja dipped and spit in a soda can. And then, I F-ing left my spitter in her room.
We had to step out so as the nurses could pull the plug. But we never went back in, it was just her family (my uncle, cousins etc). So i could never go back and get my spitter.
I chewed in the oncology department. i left a spitter of chew in the room.
I am embarassed that nicotine had such a grasp on me that I chewed IN the oncology ward. But that was my choice...so I can't blame nic for everything.
Please forgive me Aunt Patti. I am clean now. 196 days. Almost 6 months. The longest I've ever gone. I'm sorry I disrespected you and all the other people who were/are battling for thier lives. At that time, I took mine for granted. I will never chew again. I am a better person because of you Patti.
Following is a quote by Loot ,
the battles will get further and further apart
minutes turn to hours...hours to days...days to weeks...weeks to months
and if you don't fuck up along the way you'll be in LOOT's shoes
YEARS will go by with no real cravings
you'd walk a mile thru fire to live that kinda quit
the fuct up part is you actually will
be strong....like mule said...you can do anything for a day
rinse...lather...repeat
funny how the simplist shit can be the hardest shit huh?
President Grant was a hero. People gave him lots of "celebratory cigars". He died of throat cancer.
You're nicotine-free.
You have a cigar.
You're no longer nicotine-free. Choosing to have ANY nicotine for ANY reason is choosing not to be nicotine free. Calling it caving or celebrating is irrelevant.
man i'll splain this simple like. it aint your nic level you got to worry bout. its your commitment level. the nic bitch is gonna be in your head for ever now. you need to 1 disside your gonna whip her ass and 2-have a plan when the craves come else your gonna have more lame ass ascuses. until you disside to do that your gonna be big tabaccos little bitch and shes gonna fuck you up the ass for the rest a your life.  Syndrome-talking to a 2000 day plus caver
Phat Pauly part I
Well boys... great fuckin idea.
"Just take the fuckin can and dump it out"... what could possibly go fuckin wrong?
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Ever seen a 6' 220lb guy laughing like a mother fuckin hyena running away from a 5'6" about 140 lb guy who is full on Chugg raging at the loss of a $22 tin of cancer?
Did I mention that we got some late spring bullshit snow storm here last night?
Any of you fuckers stop to think that fuckin around at work is likely frowned upon by the big wigs?
So... the little bastard comes up and goes "Shit Pauly... you know you want some, you can't stay quit forever." Sure, i say, gimme a little dip.
then Pauly takes the tin, pulls the top off it, sticks the finger and thumb in, and then proceeds to make like he's gonna take a real big fuckin dip.
Pauly grabs a great big dip then flicks into the air like fuckin pixie dust. the Pauly puts the can down on the concrete floor and stomps on it with his work boot and begins to giggle like a school girl.
Then, the rage starts. This guy is so goddam mad that he is literally ranting incomprehensible sounds and snarling.
Of course, this is VERY amusing, so Pauly begins to laugh uncontrollably. Like, tears running down my face busting a fuckin gut HOWLING.
Ever try running away from an insane little man while unable to breathe you're laughing so fuckin hard? He's chasing me around the trucks and throwing random punches and kicks and I'm still giggling. He's getting madder and madder, so i round the corner at the front of one of the trucks and get fancy... BUTTON HOOK!!!
Well, Mr Angry chewer slips in a puddle on the concrete floor. Mr Angry Chewer's noggin goes thwack on the bumper and then the concrete.
This just keeps gettin funnier and funnier, so now I'm leaning on the hood trying to catch my breath howling and fucking laughin so hard I think I'm gonna die.
Then, Pauly's boss's boss comes out of the office to find out what the fuck is goin on. He looks even angrier... Ever try explaining that what I'm told looks like I laid a fuckin whuppin on this guy is the result of advice from a bunch of insane mother fuckers I've never met? And an "accident"?
Well... Pauly got sent home early today. I think the words were "I can't even fuckin deal with you right now... Get the fuck outta here... go home."
Is it bad that I'm still fuckin laughing typing this 7 hours later?
Phat Pauly part II
the resolution of the "alleged assault"...
So, I show up this morning. As i walk through the door, I get "Hey, we need to chat with you, come to the meeting room."
When I get to the meeting room... There's the boss's boss (who looks slightly less angry than yesterday), an HR guy and...aw fuck.... someone from legal. This can't be good.
As i go in, one of the other guys from my shift says "I saw it all, I'll come in if you need". Nice to know others have my back as well as you clowns.
Of course, it's the old "tell us what happened" scenario.
As I'm tellin the story, I start to giggle. The small herd of staff outside the door is growing. the boss and the law guy...not laughing. the HR guy is totally neutral.
Now, I'm laughing again as i get to the part about running around the truck. I tell the whole story, trying not to laugh but mostly failing.
they asked if anyone saw it and I listed a couple names. they asked me to leave the room and send in the "witnesses".
As I'm hanging around the door, I hear the witnesses howling as they're telling the story. they laugh, they get scolded, they laugh they get scolded....
The witnesses leave and they ask me to wait outside for a minute so they (boss, hr, legal) discuss. This is taking forever...now I'm worried. No more giggling.
When I go back in, I get the stern "no horseplay, respect your coworkers" standard lecture... I'm starting to think "Sweet... Pauly wins".
After the big boss finishes his lecture, the hr guy says "now it's my turn to talk"...aww fuckity fuck fuck fuck... Pauly's in trouble.
So the HR guy clears his throat and starts in. "SO, Paul, You're claiming that this was all an accident and was directly influenced by you quitting chewing tobacco." I reply, 'Yes sir, that is correct".
He goes "And you claim that the person who got injured got hurt because he offered you chewing tobacco and got angry when you ruined it." "yes sir, that's correct" "HR: "You never laid a hand on him?" P: "No sir, I did not."
Now my favorite part... the part that got me in shit again for laughing like a retarded window licker with a paddle ball and a rolling pin.
The HR guy looks at me and says: "I knew that tobacco could cause cancer, emphysema, heart disease, etcetera... But I had no idea it could cause concussions. Turns out that shit really IS bad for people."
Well fuck... I have no idea whether to laugh or cry... but now my boss is smiling but containing his laughter and the legal guy is staring at the pen in his hand and biting his lip.
So, today, I had to find someone to cover the shift left empty by Mr. Angry Chewer and I have to apologize to him when he's back.
I think I'll give him his $22 back... well worth 22 bucks for that much fuckin entertainment.Â
(LastChance @ Feb 25, 2009, 1:08 pm)
This reminds me of a plane ride - dipping incident I had once...
On a long flight from Phoenix to Cleveland, I was sitting in a window seat, wearing headphones and watching an in-flight movie. I had just selected a full can of coke from the hostitute/flight attendant with the drink cart, and immediately pounded it in record time with the intention of using it as a spitter for a chew I had been looking forward to for a while.Â
So, I go through the routine of an embarrassed dipper, looking around to see if anyone was paying attention. The old man in the middle seat is asleep, and the lady in the isle seat was engrossed in her boring ass Danielle Steel novel. I then smuggle the can of Skoal Mint from its top secret hiding spot (the inside of my right knee high sock), grab a good wad and strategically place it in the lower right half of my eager mouth, thereby hiding the bulge from any possible onlookers. Happily engrossed in my dipful bliss, I sat back, relaxed and began watching the movie. Of course, every 30 seconds or so, I would grab the empty coke can, resting on the open trey table in front of me, and spit out the juice.Â
This went on and on for the next 30 minutes... watching the movie, grabbing the coke can, spitting, setting it down, watching, grabbing, spitting, setting, etc... I was so good at doing this that it did not break my concentration from the movie. That is, until I casually looked down and realized that my spitter had turned into a DIET coke can.Â
I then realized that I had accidentally grabbed the middle seat guy's can of pop and had been spitting in it for an unknown amount of time. Well, needless to say, a decision had to be made.Â
Here were the facts: Middle Seat guy was still asleep. Isle seat chick was still attentive to her boring ass book. Diet Coke can was only 1/8th full (or 7/8th empty depending on your view of the world). I was pinned in the window seat. My options were limited.
Here were my choices:
Option A) Stash the Diet Coke can in the magazine pocket, wait for the Hostitute/Flight Attendant to come by with a trash bag, get rid of the evidence.
Option B ) Pour the contents of the Diet Coke can into the "real" spitter then put the empty can back on his tray table and pretend this never happened.Â
Option C) Put the can back on his tray table and pretend this never happened.
Here was my decision:
I brilliantly chose Option A. No, wait... Option C. Ya, I brilliantly chose Option C.
A few minutes later, we ran into a bit of turbulence which awoke my middle seat neighbor. This alarmed me, but I remained cool as I remembered that the Diet Coke can was almost empty, and therefore probably abandoned. Then, as if in slow motion, I witnessed the following events:
- Middle Seat Guy licks his dry lips, looks around for the hostitute/flight attendent to no avail, then spots the Diet Coke.
  * I start to get a little nervous
- Middle Seat Guy reaches for Diet Coke can
  * I freeze, sweat matriculates from my scalp. Knees get week. Palms get clamy.Â
 - Middle Seat Guy swishes contents of Diet Coke can around, determining if there is proper liquid content sufficient enough to quench his thirst.
  * I begin to panic, consider offering a warning, but chicken out, hoping he will be uninterested in the minimal contents remaining in the Diet Coke can.
 - Middle Seat Guy bends his elbow, tips his head back and brings the Diet Coke can towards his, now, slightly parted lips.
  * Full panic mode. Instinctfully, I look for an exit, but, to my horror, realize that I am on a plane. I consider jumping out the window at 35,000 feet. I remember a story of a pregnant lady, a few years back, who went sky diving. Tragically, her shoot did not open as she ascended to her almost certain death. Miraculously, she ended up bouncing off a big ole’ wad Texas sage brush and survived, breaking something like 30 bones in her body. Somehow, her baby survived, too. I'm sure this lady now drinks her dinner through a straw and has the physical composition of Gumby, and her baby probably makes Corky from "Life goes on" seem like the second coming of Albert Einstein, but that's not the point. I decide, however, against this figuring that we were probably not flying over Texas at our present position.
 - Middle Seat Guy empties contents inside the Diet Coke can into his mouth. I see a string of brownish-clear mucusy liquid stretch from the corner of the open lid of the can to his lower lip as he pulls the, now, completely empty container away from his face. I see his Adam's apple move up, in, then back down as he swallowed the contents.
As I witnessed the progression of emotions Middle Seat Guy went through over the next 15 seconds, I couldnÂ’t help but be fascinated by the physical mannerisms that were associated with each, new reaction. It went from surprise to disgust to curiosity to disgust to confusion to anger to confusion and back to disgust. Then he just looked ill.Â
Middle Seat Guy excused himself past isle seat chick and retreated to the rear plane bathroom, where he remained in there for what seemed to be the greater part of eternity. I was somewhat relieved that I was not currently engaged in hand to hand combat at 35,000 feet, as my plastic dinner spork, provided by the airline for the inevitably unedible meal to come, would certainly not make that great of a weapon.
Â
I then heard the sound of the rear plane bathroom door opening. I expected to hear Middle Seat Guy progressing his way down the isle, but instead I heard the grumblings of a conversation between a man and hostitute/flight attendant. I look back, and sure enough Middle Seat Guy was jabbering away in an inaudible rant of some kind. He then retreated back to his seat, apparently settling down.
And this next part I will never, ever forget. Middle Seat Guy looks at me, looks at my Coke can, then looks at me again. He then says, “Hey buddy, I wouldn’t drink that Coke if I were you. Mine tasted a little funny”.
This all comes down to one question - what's more important to you? helping yourself recover or helping yourself die? Smokeyg
-
Dear Chairman of UST,
Dear douchetard dillhole
Just a quick note to thank you for making such a fine product.I have enjoyed skoal since I was 14.I think it's the best.
Just a quick note to say fuck you, you death dealing fuckbag. Thanks for hooking me on a substance thats more addicting than heroin when I was a fucking child.I have been a slave to nicotine for 23 years. I think a product that kills you when you use it properly is insane.
I can fondly remember all your advertising with many great athletes " a pinch is all it takes" and now I am excited to be part of the Skoal Brotherhood
a pinch is all it took to get me to lie to my parents, wife, kids, destroy relationships, ruin my health, begin killing myself. Thank God I found this site and these guys at Kill the Can to support me in kicking this horrid addiction.
Skoal has been with me through thick and thin and always helped me out when I needed it.
Skoal had raised my blood pressure to unsafe levels and I had to chew two damn cans a day just to attempt to feel ok. Now that I quit I feel better than I ever did when I chewed. Skoal was good for nothing but keeping me addicted to Skoal
I especially appreciate the recent discounts on dip and all the great new flavors
Smoking is getting pushed out and your making a marketing play that dip is a safer alternative than cigarettes. Nevermind the fact that the nicotine level in a can of chew is the equivilent of 60 smokes. You even drop the price and run multiple can specials to create addicts quicker than ever. Peach and berry dip, who are you kidding? those flavors are to hook children and women. Your a absolute shit bag. You sell fruit and mint flavored cancer.
I am sure that you will have continued success with your fine brand of smokeless and wish you the best of luck
You can take your little copperheaded fuck buckets of cancer and shove em up your ass so far that you can pack em with your tonsils. I hope you can sleep at night knowing your product kills more people than almost anything in the world. I wish the worst thing in the world upon you and your cohorts... I hope you become as addicted to this shit as I was. I am free now, I no longer pay daily dues to UST, I no longer kill myself each day, I no longer hide cheat and lie to satisfy my addiction, I am a man of my word now..... I am quit
Best Regards
I hope you go bankrupt and die you miserable cocksuckers, if I ever meet you I will punch you in the junk and feed you to a shark, but only one slice at a time,8000 plus slices for each day that I dipped. I hope it hurts.
Skoal Monster
-
Dear Chairman of UST,
Dear douchetard dillhole
Just a quick note to thank you for making such a fine product.I have enjoyed skoal since I was 14.I think it's the best.
Just a quick note to say fuck you, you death dealing fuckbag. Thanks for hooking me on a substance thats more addicting than heroin when I was a fucking child.I have been a slave to nicotine for 23 years. I think a product that kills you when you use it properly is insane.
I can fondly remember all your advertising with many great athletes " a pinch is all it takes" and now I am excited to be part of the Skoal Brotherhood
a pinch is all it took to get me to lie to my parents, wife, kids, destroy relationships, ruin my health, begin killing myself. Thank God I found this site and these guys at Kill the Can to support me in kicking this horrid addiction.
Skoal has been with me through thick and thin and always helped me out when I needed it.
Skoal had raised my blood pressure to unsafe levels and I had to chew two damn cans a day just to attempt to feel ok. Now that I quit I feel better than I ever did when I chewed. Skoal was good for nothing but keeping me addicted to Skoal
I especially appreciate the recent discounts on dip and all the great new flavors
Smoking is getting pushed out and your making a marketing play that dip is a safer alternative than cigarettes. Nevermind the fact that the nicotine level in a can of chew is the equivilent of 60 smokes. You even drop the price and run multiple can specials to create addicts quicker than ever. Peach and berry dip, who are you kidding? those flavors are to hook children and women. Your a absolute shit bag. You sell fruit and mint flavored cancer.
I am sure that you will have continued success with your fine brand of smokeless and wish you the best of luck
You can take your little copperheaded fuck buckets of cancer and shove em up your ass so far that you can pack em with your tonsils. I hope you can sleep at night knowing your product kills more people than almost anything in the world. I wish the worst thing in the world upon you and your cohorts... I hope you become as addicted to this shit as I was. I am free now, I no longer pay daily dues to UST, I no longer kill myself each day, I no longer hide cheat and lie to satisfy my addiction, I am a man of my word now..... I am quit
Best Regards
I hope you go bankrupt and die you miserable cocksuckers, if I ever meet you I will punch you in the junk and feed you to a shark, but only one slice at a time,8000 plus slices for each day that I dipped. I hope it hurts.
Skoal Monster
Chewie: This belongs in "Words of Wisdom".
-
Dear Chairman of UST,
Dear douchetard dillhole
Just a quick note to thank you for making such a fine product.I have enjoyed skoal since I was 14.I think it's the best.
Just a quick note to say fuck you, you death dealing fuckbag. Thanks for hooking me on a substance thats more addicting than heroin when I was a fucking child.I have been a slave to nicotine for 23 years. I think a product that kills you when you use it properly is insane.
I can fondly remember all your advertising with many great athletes " a pinch is all it takes" and now I am excited to be part of the Skoal Brotherhood
a pinch is all it took to get me to lie to my parents, wife, kids, destroy relationships, ruin my health, begin killing myself. Thank God I found this site and these guys at Kill the Can to support me in kicking this horrid addiction.
Skoal has been with me through thick and thin and always helped me out when I needed it.
Skoal had raised my blood pressure to unsafe levels and I had to chew two damn cans a day just to attempt to feel ok. Now that I quit I feel better than I ever did when I chewed. Skoal was good for nothing but keeping me addicted to Skoal
I especially appreciate the recent discounts on dip and all the great new flavors
Smoking is getting pushed out and your making a marketing play that dip is a safer alternative than cigarettes. Nevermind the fact that the nicotine level in a can of chew is the equivilent of 60 smokes. You even drop the price and run multiple can specials to create addicts quicker than ever. Peach and berry dip, who are you kidding? those flavors are to hook children and women. Your a absolute shit bag. You sell fruit and mint flavored cancer.
I am sure that you will have continued success with your fine brand of smokeless and wish you the best of luck
You can take your little copperheaded fuck buckets of cancer and shove em up your ass so far that you can pack em with your tonsils. I hope you can sleep at night knowing your product kills more people than almost anything in the world. I wish the worst thing in the world upon you and your cohorts... I hope you become as addicted to this shit as I was. I am free now, I no longer pay daily dues to UST, I no longer kill myself each day, I no longer hide cheat and lie to satisfy my addiction, I am a man of my word now..... I am quit
Best Regards
I hope you go bankrupt and die you miserable cocksuckers, if I ever meet you I will punch you in the junk and feed you to a shark, but only one slice at a time,8000 plus slices for each day that I dipped. I hope it hurts.
Skoal Monster
Chewie: This belongs in "Words of Wisdom".
Out -"fucking"- standing !
Mr Skoal "Monster" ... Bravo to you my friend ~ I have made a copy of this to put next to my contract to Quit and if ever the day comes that we meet in person I will have you autograph this for me ~
I love when someone can truly read between the lines and see the true meaning in things !
Well done ...
BBJ
-
Dear Chairman of UST,
Dear douchetard dillhole
Just a quick note to thank you for making such a fine product.I have enjoyed skoal since I was 14.I think it's the best.
Just a quick note to say fuck you, you death dealing fuckbag. Thanks for hooking me on a substance thats more addicting than heroin when I was a fucking child.I have been a slave to nicotine for 23 years. I think a product that kills you when you use it properly is insane.
I can fondly remember all your advertising with many great athletes " a pinch is all it takes" and now I am excited to be part of the Skoal Brotherhood
a pinch is all it took to get me to lie to my parents, wife, kids, destroy relationships, ruin my health, begin killing myself. Thank God I found this site and these guys at Kill the Can to support me in kicking this horrid addiction.
Skoal has been with me through thick and thin and always helped me out when I needed it.
Skoal had raised my blood pressure to unsafe levels and I had to chew two damn cans a day just to attempt to feel ok. Now that I quit I feel better than I ever did when I chewed. Skoal was good for nothing but keeping me addicted to Skoal
I especially appreciate the recent discounts on dip and all the great new flavors
Smoking is getting pushed out and your making a marketing play that dip is a safer alternative than cigarettes. Nevermind the fact that the nicotine level in a can of chew is the equivilent of 60 smokes. You even drop the price and run multiple can specials to create addicts quicker than ever. Peach and berry dip, who are you kidding? those flavors are to hook children and women. Your a absolute shit bag. You sell fruit and mint flavored cancer.
I am sure that you will have continued success with your fine brand of smokeless and wish you the best of luck
You can take your little copperheaded fuck buckets of cancer and shove em up your ass so far that you can pack em with your tonsils. I hope you can sleep at night knowing your product kills more people than almost anything in the world. I wish the worst thing in the world upon you and your cohorts... I hope you become as addicted to this shit as I was. I am free now, I no longer pay daily dues to UST, I no longer kill myself each day, I no longer hide cheat and lie to satisfy my addiction, I am a man of my word now..... I am quit
Best Regards
I hope you go bankrupt and die you miserable cocksuckers, if I ever meet you I will punch you in the junk and feed you to a shark, but only one slice at a time,8000 plus slices for each day that I dipped. I hope it hurts.
Skoal Monster
Chewie: This belongs in "Words of Wisdom".
Out -"fucking"- standing !
Mr Skoal "Monster" ... Bravo to you my friend ~ I have made a copy of this to put next to my contract to Quit and if ever the day comes that we meet in person I will have you autograph this for me ~
I love when someone can truly read between the lines and see the true meaning in things !
Well done ...
BBJ
Great Letter Skoal Monster. Its kind of like their slogan COPE SATISFIES. If it did you wouldn't have to keep stuffing that shit in your pie hole to be "satisfied". I am finally "satisfied" to be free of their SHIT and all of the lies, ruined relationships (almost lost my wife over this), health issues, etc that went along with "a pinch is all it takes". Did you really send it? LOL. I just threw away a fancy letter from UST offering me a free Limited Edition Pewter Cope can lid. Should send it back to them and tell them to stuff it up their ass!!! I don't need it anymore.
-
amen brother
-
Skoal Monster,
If you remember, you set me straight on a couple things the first few days of my quit. Well, I'm settling in now and getting the groove of the site and of our quit brothers and sisters.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks and that I've been reading yours and others posts in your introduction, its good reading and helps add to my resolve to stay quit of this shit.
As for your letter to UST - AWESOME!!!!
Again, thanks.
kmemrm (fucked up Name0 call me Kevin
-
Cavers,
In ancient times a builder could form a stone arch with no mortar by slowly rounding the stones in at the top. Its success was dependent upon a single stone set at the 12:00 posistion, called the keystone YOU are that keystone. When you selfishly choose to cave you rip the keystone from the arch and cause it to collapse.We are part of the arch. Your failure harms those that support you.
I want to scream at you for giving up and shaking the foundation of the solid quits around you. You are a virus that infects the minds of your brother and sister quitters. If you can casually fail and restart, why can't I ???? The addicts voice leaks into my head because you opened a crack in the door. I want to rage against you for chipping away at the strength in the quits around you. I hope you come back and fight again to free yourself from the chains of this addiction, but I cannot forget your weakness. I will struggle to support you further because you have torn apart the bond of accountability and endangered us all.
For those that read this and are quit,
I implore you to not just rage against the cavers in our midst, but to strengthen your own quits. EVERY DAY you must increase your own accountibility. Some of us create accountibility by dishing out massive attacks on the weaknesses of others. How could I possibly cave when I have referred to so many failures as weaklings and cowards and worse, I would be crucified. Those that I have cut with merciless truth and anger wait for me should I fail. My E-mail and Phone number are for all including those who would take pleasure in returning to me some tough love. Everyone must know I quit and everyone must be in a posistion to tell me how my failure affects them. I cannot fail because I have woven a web of accountibility around myself. I provide support each day as best I can, often with a PM or text other times in the forum or chat. I know there are quitters who I am a keystone for. I cannont fail because I would harm their quits. I carry but a few numbers in my phone but have offered and given mine out always . This makes me accountable to support those people. If I caved and they have my number and call me for support, how could I possibly help them? I cannot cave because I care about these strangers, and I refuse to endanger their freedom from nicotine thru my own weakness.
The accountibilty needs to be nurtured off the site as well. Your family, friends, must all know the depth of your fight. I have shown ODT's cancer surgery to my kids, I have told them how hard it was for me to stop, I have told everyone I lied to or hid my addiction from that I was a sniveling lying chew sucking nic fiend. I have let loose the truth upon everyone in my life. I am now accountible to them as well. I cannot cave because I refuse to look into my wife's, childrens, eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. .
Strengthen your quit, weave your web of accountibility, be an unbreakable keystone, support in your own way, rage or hand hold, just stay quit. Your fighting for your very life, this is real and not a game.
-
Cavers,
In ancient times a builder could form a stone arch with no mortar by slowly rounding the stones in at the top. Its success was dependent upon a single stone set at the 12:00 posistion, called the keystone YOU are that keystone. When you selfishly choose to cave you rip the keystone from the arch and cause it to collapse.We are part of the arch. Your failure harms those that support you.
I want to scream at you for giving up and shaking the foundation of the solid quits around you. You are a virus that infects the minds of your brother and sister quitters. If you can casually fail and restart, why can't I ???? The addicts voice leaks into my head because you opened a crack in the door. I want to rage against you for chipping away at the strength in the quits around you. I hope you come back and fight again to free yourself from the chains of this addiction, but I cannot forget your weakness. I will struggle to support you further because you have torn apart the bond of accountability and endangered us all.
For those that read this and are quit,
I implore you to not just rage against the cavers in our midst, but to strengthen your own quits. EVERY DAY you must increase your own accountibility. Some of us create accountibility by dishing out massive attacks on the weaknesses of others. How could I possibly cave when I have referred to so many failures as weaklings and cowards and worse, I would be crucified. Those that I have cut with merciless truth and anger wait for me should I fail. My E-mail and Phone number are for all including those who would take pleasure in returning to me some tough love. Everyone must know I quit and everyone must be in a posistion to tell me how my failure affects them. I cannot fail because I have woven a web of accountibility around myself. I provide support each day as best I can, often with a PM or text other times in the forum or chat. I know there are quitters who I am a keystone for. I cannont fail because I would harm their quits. I carry but a few numbers in my phone but have offered and given mine out always . This makes me accountable to support those people. If I caved and they have my number and call me for support, how could I possibly help them? I cannot cave because I care about these strangers, and I refuse to endanger their freedom from nicotine thru my own weakness.
The accountibilty needs to be nurtured off the site as well. Your family, friends, must all know the depth of your fight. I have shown ODT's cancer surgery to my kids, I have told them how hard it was for me to stop, I have told everyone I lied to or hid my addiction from that I was a sniveling lying chew sucking nic fiend. I have let loose the truth upon everyone in my life. I am now accountible to them as well. I cannot cave because I refuse to look into my wife's, childrens, eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. .
Strengthen your quit, weave your web of accountibility, be an unbreakable keystone, support in your own way, rage or hand hold, just stay quit. Your fighting for your very life, this is real and not a game.
true 'nuf
-
Cavers,
In ancient times a builder could form a stone arch with no mortar by slowly rounding the stones in at the top. Its success was dependent upon a single stone set at the 12:00 posistion, called the keystone YOU are that keystone. When you selfishly choose to cave you rip the keystone from the arch and cause it to collapse.We are part of the arch. Your failure harms those that support you.
I want to scream at you for giving up and shaking the foundation of the solid quits around you. You are a virus that infects the minds of your brother and sister quitters. If you can casually fail and restart, why can't I ???? The addicts voice leaks into my head because you opened a crack in the door. I want to rage against you for chipping away at the strength in the quits around you. I hope you come back and fight again to free yourself from the chains of this addiction, but I cannot forget your weakness. I will struggle to support you further because you have torn apart the bond of accountability and endangered us all.
For those that read this and are quit,
I implore you to not just rage against the cavers in our midst, but to strengthen your own quits. EVERY DAY you must increase your own accountibility. Some of us create accountibility by dishing out massive attacks on the weaknesses of others. How could I possibly cave when I have referred to so many failures as weaklings and cowards and worse, I would be crucified. Those that I have cut with merciless truth and anger wait for me should I fail. My E-mail and Phone number are for all including those who would take pleasure in returning to me some tough love. Everyone must know I quit and everyone must be in a posistion to tell me how my failure affects them. I cannot fail because I have woven a web of accountibility around myself. I provide support each day as best I can, often with a PM or text other times in the forum or chat. I know there are quitters who I am a keystone for. I cannont fail because I would harm their quits. I carry but a few numbers in my phone but have offered and given mine out always . This makes me accountable to support those people. If I caved and they have my number and call me for support, how could I possibly help them? I cannot cave because I care about these strangers, and I refuse to endanger their freedom from nicotine thru my own weakness.
The accountibilty needs to be nurtured off the site as well. Your family, friends, must all know the depth of your fight. I have shown ODT's cancer surgery to my kids, I have told them how hard it was for me to stop, I have told everyone I lied to or hid my addiction from that I was a sniveling lying chew sucking nic fiend. I have let loose the truth upon everyone in my life. I am now accountible to them as well. I cannot cave because I refuse to look into my wife's, childrens, eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. .
Strengthen your quit, weave your web of accountibility, be an unbreakable keystone, support in your own way, rage or hand hold, just stay quit. Your fighting for your very life, this is real and not a game.
Damn Rant Monster... this is no rant... this is pure poetry.
I would say this is one for the books. Proud to call you my Quit Brother.
Would you please post this in November and October???
I won't take credit for your words... I know you have credibility with these guys, and this ought to help them understand why we can be so harsh at times.
Thanks,
Jim
-
Hey Guest,
I see you there, reading, surfing the site. Sitting at the computer.... you have a dip in right now I bet. Ironic that you choose to chew while researching how to quit. Except, for you its not a choice anymore is it? You have to have it. If its late enough and you dipped alot today I bet you packed it in your upper lip. Lower lip hurts too much. Maybe your just keeping it away from that one sore spot that has been bothering you. Scared? ashamed? sick of being a slave to a habit thats killing you? Aren't you tired of being sick and tired? This time will be different, if you take the steps to commit to this program and follow in the path of those that walked this way before you, you will be quit. Choose to save your own life. Isn't that why your here.
Is it cancer? It will be, dip will kill you if you just give it enough time. How much more time do you think you have anyhow? A year? a lifetime? one can? Maybe one dip. Thats right, the very next dip could be the one that kills you. Seriously, how many chances to dodge cancer do you think your going get?
I can say very confidently, that you are not the biggest addict ever to walk this way. I had almost given up on ever quitting, Thankfully I stumbled in here 205 days ago and now I am quit. Trust me as a fellow dipper who stuffed skoal in my face for 23 yrs and two cans a day. If I can quit so can you.
So stop lurking and start posting, Fnd your quit group and post up a day one. Stop being a guest and start being a quitter.
-
Hey Guest,
 I see you there, reading, surfing the site. Sitting at the computer.... you have a dip in right now I bet. Ironic that you choose to chew while researching how to quit. Except, for you its not a choice anymore is it? You have to have it. If its late enough and you dipped alot today I bet you packed it in your upper lip. Lower lip hurts too much. Maybe your just keeping it away from that one sore spot that has been bothering you. Scared? ashamed? sick of being a slave to a habit thats killing you? Aren't you tired of being sick and tired? This time will be different, if you take the steps to commit to this program and follow in the path of those that walked this way before you, you will be quit. Choose to save your own life. Isn't that why your here.
Is it cancer? It will be, dip will kill you if you just give it enough time. How much more time do you think you have anyhow? A year? a lifetime? one can? Maybe one dip. Thats right, the very next dip could be the one that kills you. Seriously, how many chances to dodge cancer do you think your going get?
 I can say very confidently, that you are not the biggest addict ever to walk this way. I had almost given up on ever quitting, Thankfully I stumbled in here 205 days ago and now I am quit. Trust me as a fellow dipper who stuffed skoal in my face for 23 yrs and two cans a day. If I can quit so can you.
 So stop lurking and start posting, Fnd your quit group and post up a day one. Stop being a guest and start being a quitter.
Nice SM, Very Nice. Now get off the fence you Lurker, spit that shit out and get on the road to Freedom!!!!
-
Hey Guest,
 I see you there, reading, surfing the site. Sitting at the computer.... you have a dip in right now I bet. Ironic that you choose to chew while researching how to quit. Except, for you its not a choice anymore is it? You have to have it. If its late enough and you dipped alot today I bet you packed it in your upper lip. Lower lip hurts too much. Maybe your just keeping it away from that one sore spot that has been bothering you. Scared? ashamed? sick of being a slave to a habit thats killing you? Aren't you tired of being sick and tired? This time will be different, if you take the steps to commit to this program and follow in the path of those that walked this way before you, you will be quit. Choose to save your own life. Isn't that why your here.
Is it cancer? It will be, dip will kill you if you just give it enough time. How much more time do you think you have anyhow? A year? a lifetime? one can? Maybe one dip. Thats right, the very next dip could be the one that kills you. Seriously, how many chances to dodge cancer do you think your going get?
 I can say very confidently, that you are not the biggest addict ever to walk this way. I had almost given up on ever quitting, Thankfully I stumbled in here 205 days ago and now I am quit. Trust me as a fellow dipper who stuffed skoal in my face for 23 yrs and two cans a day. If I can quit so can you.
 So stop lurking and start posting, Fnd your quit group and post up a day one. Stop being a guest and start being a quitter.
Nice SM, Very Nice. Now get off the fence you Lurker, spit that shit out and get on the road to Freedom!!!!
SM telling it like it is...that was my sorry ass 35 days ago and I was the lurker now I'm the quitter and it feels so good, my mouth is well on the way to healed, I don't hide, I'm not ashamed and no spitters sitting around. I have my own life back, not some damned can calling my name at all hours day and night. Freedom is only your quit away. DO IT!
-
I keep seeing posts where quitters are frustrated that they still have urges to dip or smoke. Some after a month, some after many hundreds of days. Maybe time ultimately erases that, I don't really know. The thing is when you have truly embraced your decision to quit, craves or urges become irrelevent. It's said over and over here that "dip is no longer an option". When you live that philosophy your quit becomes simple, easy even. If I know in my heart that I will never chew or smoke again, then I never consider it as a remedy,a pass time, crutch, etc. It is no longer on the table as a possibility in my mind. I have urges to dip all the time, they are no worse or better than my day one. The difference is I own them now. They have no power over me and I can brush them off with ease.
The destination and the journey are the same thing here. Quit is your destination, staying quit is the journey, you have already arrived my friend. Stop complaining about the potholes in your path, walk around them. Stop looking over your shoulder , there is nothing back there that you want. If there was you never would have left. Embrace your quit and there will not be any force of nature or mind that can move you from it.
SM
-
Ditto!!!!!!
-
Amen brother Skoal Monster! Those words are as important as the contract.
Thanks ya bastad
-
Ditto too!!
-
Happy Father's Day dad!! I love you and miss you so much. You would have been so proud of Connor today he pitched a good game, and Tori has a good tournament yesterday too, but I know you were there in spirit! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenzi Kern
Hutch, MN - Sunday, June 21, 2009 8:29 PM CDT
......Tom Kerns Daughter....Taken from the Caring Bridge Site
I will never put that shit in my mouth again.
-
Happy Father's Day dad!! I love you and miss you so much. You would have been so proud of Connor today he pitched a good game, and Tori has a good tournament yesterday too, but I know you were there in spirit! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenzi Kern
Hutch, MN - Sunday, June 21, 2009 8:29 PM CDT
......Tom Kerns Daughter....
I will never put that shit in my mouth again
Damn straight Skoal Monster.
If I ever need inspiration to stay quit, the Kerns Story is one of the first places I go.
Needless to say.....I'm still quit.
-
Happy Father's Day dad!! I love you and miss you so much. You would have been so proud of Connor today he pitched a good game, and Tori has a good tournament yesterday too, but I know you were there in spirit! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenzi Kern
Hutch, MN - Sunday, June 21, 2009 8:29 PM CDT
......Tom Kerns Daughter....Taken from the Caring Bridge Site
I will never put that shit in my mouth again..
-
Thanks fo the reminder Skoal Monster. Need that every so often!!!
-
(rkymtnman @ Nov 7, 2009, 7:16 am)
FUCK I hate being an addict. Why did I fucking do this to myself? I am such a dumb ass for ever starting this shit in the first place it is incredible.Â
Not that i totally disagree with the doomass part....and at the risk of transferance cuz ultimately the person in all our mirrors made the first "choice".....
truth is....we didn't friggin know.....
i didn't know i would get hooked
i didn't know i would get that "jonesin" feeling that made me feel like a coiled spring when i went too long between dips.
i didn't know i would spit on the carpet in places of business and rub it in with my foot.
i didn't know how bad or gross the process of this habit is....from packing, to having it your teeth, to spitting, to the dragon breath from hell....
i didn't know i would become an addict where this little can would literally rule my life....my schedule....my activities....
I didn't truly know.....(technically believe) that, yeah, some folks get cancer and at the minimum have surgery and at the worst....friggin die.
I.....didn't......know.... and niether did you.
UST knew....and both DEVELOPED and INTENTIONALLY markets a product that gaurantees them life long customers....unless you do what you are doing now.....QUIT....
Some other things i didn't know....before i quit.....
I didn't know i could start my day successfully without dip...even if it meant packing a dip immediately after brushing my teeth....i used to hate to do that cuz the mintiness from the toothpaste messed up the taste of my cope.
I didn't know i could make a decision about anything w/o dip.
I didn't know i could do all sorts of things....i.e. hunt, fish, yardword, scratch my ass.....w/o dip.
I didn't know i could go to my son's basketball/baseball/football games and not carry a spitter....in the stands AND on the court, if i happened to be coaching.
I didnt give a thot as to the negative influence i might be exhibiting to those kids....and may the good lord have mercy on a parent if they had dared to say anything......
I didn't know my wife would kiss me more w/o dip
I didn't know the admiration my boys would give me as they have witnessed first hand the battle of addiciton....supported me and vowed to never put themselves in a position to have to battle this particular demon.
I didn't know by trusting strangers to hold me accountable would work in helping quit.
I didn't know i would make some of the best friends i've never met on a dam computer website....
I didn't know I could quit.....and gain control over my addiction.....for today....
I DO know this...and you have my word as i have already signed roll this morning....as the first thing i do and the start of my day.
I will not under any circumstance have any nicotine.......today.
THAT....I know as a fact.
This post has been edited by mule21 on Nov 7, 2009, 7:04 am
Damn, if this isn't in words of wisdom it should be ( Copied from get your bitch on 11/07/09
-
(rkymtnman @ Nov 7, 2009, 7:16 am)
FUCK I hate being an addict. Why did I fucking do this to myself? I am such a dumb ass for ever starting this shit in the first place it is incredible.Â
Not that i totally disagree with the doomass part....and at the risk of transferance cuz ultimately the person in all our mirrors made the first "choice".....
truth is....we didn't friggin know.....
i didn't know i would get hooked
i didn't know i would get that "jonesin" feeling that made me feel like a coiled spring when i went too long between dips.
i didn't know i would spit on the carpet in places of business and rub it in with my foot.
i didn't know how bad or gross the process of this habit is....from packing, to having it your teeth, to spitting, to the dragon breath from hell....
i didn't know i would become an addict where this little can would literally rule my life....my schedule....my activities....
I didn't truly know.....(technically believe) that, yeah, some folks get cancer and at the minimum have surgery and at the worst....friggin die.
I.....didn't......know.... and niether did you.
UST knew....and both DEVELOPED and INTENTIONALLY markets a product that gaurantees them life long customers....unless you do what you are doing now.....QUIT....
Some other things i didn't know....before i quit.....
I didn't know i could start my day successfully without dip...even if it meant packing a dip immediately after brushing my teeth....i used to hate to do that cuz the mintiness from the toothpaste messed up the taste of my cope.
I didn't know i could make a decision about anything w/o dip.
I didn't know i could do all sorts of things....i.e. hunt, fish, yardword, scratch my ass.....w/o dip.
I didn't know i could go to my son's basketball/baseball/football games and not carry a spitter....in the stands AND on the court, if i happened to be coaching.
I didnt give a thot as to the negative influence i might be exhibiting to those kids....and may the good lord have mercy on a parent if they had dared to say anything......
I didn't know my wife would kiss me more w/o dip
I didn't know the admiration my boys would give me as they have witnessed first hand the battle of addiciton....supported me and vowed to never put themselves in a position to have to battle this particular demon.
I didn't know by trusting strangers to hold me accountable would work in helping quit.
I didn't know i would make some of the best friends i've never met on a dam computer website....
I didn't know I could quit.....and gain control over my addiction.....for today....
I DO know this...and you have my word as i have already signed roll this morning....as the first thing i do and the start of my day.
I will not under any circumstance have any nicotine.......today.
THAT....I know as a fact.
This post has been edited by mule21 on Nov 7, 2009, 7:04 am
Damn, if this isn't in words of wisdom it should be ( Copied from get your bitch on 11/07/09
I agree, this belongs in the "Words of Wisdom"
So it is written, so it shall be done.
Good Looking out Skoal Monster.
-
Fuck, I never even talked to you, but anybody that caves after that long used to seriously fuck with my mind. Including Ray Ray at 800 plus. Until I wrapped my head around this little gem with the help of SmokeyG. If you forget your an addict your fucked.Just don't forget. SAY IT WITH ME CLASS " I CANT HAVE JUST ONE BECAUSE ONE IS TOO MANY AND A MILLION ISNT ENOUGH, I AM A ADDICT"
Pain fades, cancer fear fades, that feeling of hopeless addiction fades, memory of the suck fades. The addiction itself, that doesn't fade. It is as strong as it was on day one.
You newbies see if you can remember this analogy. Imagine your an apprentice lion tamer, you slowly learn where to stand and how to use the whip and the stool to keep those man eating S.O.B's off your fat ass. Slowly your going to get better at it. At 319 I'm no longer a novice. I could use the whip to make those kittens do the Irish fucking River dance. They're no longer lions to me but safe lil kitty cats. Except one day you forget how dangerous those fuckers are. You walk into the lion cage and forget your whip, you forget the stool, you put on a pair of bacon underoos. Guess what the lil kittens do? They turn back into lions and eat your stupid ass underoos and all. Complacency leads to failure.
sM
For reference to Smokey from me,
QUOTEÂ
Thoughts on Ray Ray. 800 day quitter caves with no real explanation. WTF . When are you safe? is it a frame of mind nurtured somehow to where you are less likely to succumb or are you never safe and must remain on constant watch forever?
I'd like your thoughts . or a group think in 295. Just sayin.
Sm
and the replySorry man - this is forever. All that means is never forgetting you are an addict. RayRay just forgot. (SmokeyG)
-
Hey Dad-
Merry Christmas!!! I know this is your favorite time of year and we are all missing you so much over the holidays. Ryan, Kenra, and I went out and got a real tree agian this year...It makes me think of you every time I look at it! I miss you and love you so much wishing you could be here every day with us!!!
Merry Christmas Daddy!!!
Kenzi Kern
- Friday, December 25, 2009 8:24 PM CST
[/size]
Holiday prayers for Tom, Jenny ,and their kids. I used to think quitting was hard, the alternative is clearly harder. Knowing this story, I could never look into my little girls eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. I will never put that shit in my mouth again. I am a generally nasty guy. I believe the ends justify the means, I've been in plenty of fist fights thanks to my silver tounge, I've broken bones and have scars like evil knievel. I dont like kittens or bunnies or walks on the beach. I don't cry. When I read Hey Dad....and know he isnt there for her because of a stupid round can of cancer ? the same stupid fucking can that I used and you used. That I thought I could never give up. ? I cry like a fucking baby. I'm ashamed of this shitty addiction. I'm angry at myself for ever trying it. Im pissed off at anybody who fails to quit because I'm tormented about the fact they are killing themselves. I hate the try and maybe and luck . I fucking hate big Pharm with their idiotic patches and gum and lozenges. They claim it increases quit rates and is shown effective in a double blind study. DUH!! That study would work exactly how? If you give me a placebo I will know inside 2 hrs. I will be in a raging nic fit. So guess what I do? I know I didn't get the drug so fuck off study Im outtie to the 7-11. If I did get the drug well no sweat I guess. So the group recieving the drugs while safe from withdrawl remains addicted. the other group relapses due to withdrawl. So now the widdle druggy wuggy patchy watchy is proven successful. Horse pucky. What a sham. That and nic gum and those fucking anal suppository lozenges have a high rate of abuse. So we keep BUYING MORE!!! So ridiculous I can hardly stand it. Assuming you use them correctly and wean down as directed you wind up in a state of withdrawl anyhow!!!! So what exactly is the point. The result is the same.
Fucking mood swings STILL, temper all fucked up. Anxiety coming and going like a new york subway train. I still take some adderall to deal with the ADD but I am now suspicious that it is prolonging or preventing my nicotine addled melon from healing. All the receptors that were so happy to release or inhibit serotonin reuptake because of nicotine are now managed by Adderall. Cross addiction you may ask? perhaps. I did stop popping ativan like tic tacs and the Adderall helps kinda keep shit together and clear while it lasts. Or maybe thats just another addict rationalization. Some days and weeks are easy , some are rocky. I read that it can take 2 years to get past the physical and cognitive damage this shit did. Maybe this is like the post Hof funk and as you hit a year things get odd. Two caving dreams this week, one was a cig and the other was Kodiak. I would actually drive to a new store or chew plug before I would stick the bear in my mouth so this was really bizarre. . For you newbies I am bitching a tad, but it is without a doubt easier than at day 1 or even than day 100, hell it is even easier than yesterday. BUT I STILL QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BLue claw taught me that. roughly 330 days in a row he taught me. Blue I think I'm startin to get it. !!
Thanks for the opportunity to vent
Ust are a bunch of goat molesting souless profit vampires. They have to keep making addicts faster than they kill them. They're good at both so we need to keep fighting.
sM
skoal Monster
-
Hey Dad-
Merry Christmas!!! I know this is your favorite time of year and we are all missing you so much over the holidays. Ryan, Kenra, and I went out and got a real tree agian this year...It makes me think of you every time I look at it! I miss you and love you so much wishing you could be here every day with us!!!
Merry Christmas Daddy!!!
Kenzi Kern
- Friday, December 25, 2009 8:24 PM CST
[/size]
Holiday prayers for Tom, Jenny ,and their kids. I used to think quitting was hard, the alternative is clearly harder. Knowing this story, I could never look into my little girls eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. I will never put that shit in my mouth again. I am a generally nasty guy. I believe the ends justify the means, I've been in plenty of fist fights thanks to my silver tounge, I've broken bones and have scars like evil knievel. I dont like kittens or bunnies or walks on the beach. I don't cry. When I read Hey Dad....and know he isnt there for her because of a stupid round can of cancer ? the same stupid fucking can that I used and you used. That I thought I could never give up. ? I cry like a fucking baby. I'm ashamed of this shitty addiction. I'm angry at myself for ever trying it. Im pissed off at anybody who fails to quit because I'm tormented about the fact they are killing themselves. I hate the try and maybe and luck . I fucking hate big Pharm with their idiotic patches and gum and lozenges. They claim it increases quit rates and is shown effective in a double blind study. DUH!! That study would work exactly how? If you give me a placebo I will know inside 2 hrs. I will be in a raging nic fit. So guess what I do? I know I didn't get the drug so fuck off study Im outtie to the 7-11. If I did get the drug well no sweat I guess. So the group recieving the drugs while safe from withdrawl remains addicted. the other group relapses due to withdrawl. So now the widdle druggy wuggy patchy watchy is proven successful. Horse pucky. What a sham. That and nic gum and those fucking anal suppository lozenges have a high rate of abuse. So we keep BUYING MORE!!! So ridiculous I can hardly stand it. Assuming you use them correctly and wean down as directed you wind up in a state of withdrawl anyhow!!!! So what exactly is the point. The result is the same.
Fucking mood swings STILL, temper all fucked up. Anxiety coming and going like a new york subway train. I still take some adderall to deal with the ADD but I am now suspicious that it is prolonging or preventing my nicotine addled melon from healing. All the receptors that were so happy to release or inhibit serotonin reuptake because of nicotine are now managed by Adderall. Cross addiction you may ask? perhaps. I did stop popping ativan like tic tacs and the Adderall helps kinda keep shit together and clear while it lasts. Or maybe thats just another addict rationalization. Some days and weeks are easy , some are rocky. I read that it can take 2 years to get past the physical and cognitive damage this shit did. Maybe this is like the post Hof funk and as you hit a year things get odd. Two caving dreams this week, one was a cig and the other was Kodiak. I would actually drive to a new store or chew plug before I would stick the bear in my mouth so this was really bizarre. . For you newbies I am bitching a tad, but it is without a doubt easier than at day 1 or even than day 100, hell it is even easier than yesterday. BUT I STILL QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BLue claw taught me that. roughly 330 days in a row he taught me. Blue I think I'm startin to get it. !!
Thanks for the opportunity to vent
Ust are a bunch of goat molesting souless profit vampires. They have to keep making addicts faster than they kill them. They're good at both so we need to keep fighting.
sM
skoal Monster
Can I just add that You are an awesome dad that you quite and it makes a world of difference to your kids. My own kids love me more for quitting and I am not ashamed to tell them what hell I am going through. They understand. Keep up the good workand keep posting man. do not give up the quit. 7138167823... Ricko
-
BUT I STILL QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BLue claw taught me that. roughly 330 days in a row he taught me. Blue I think I'm startin to get it. !!
A big thumbs up smiley would be a perfect. The venting helps, SM, you have a great realism to the truth about dip.
-
Hey Dad-
Merry Christmas!!! I know this is your favorite time of year and we are all missing you so much over the holidays. Ryan, Kenra, and I went out and got a real tree agian this year...It makes me think of you every time I look at it! I miss you and love you so much wishing you could be here every day with us!!!
Merry Christmas Daddy!!!
Kenzi Kern
- Friday, December 25, 2009 8:24 PM CST
[/size]
Holiday prayers for Tom, Jenny ,and their kids. I used to think quitting was hard, the alternative is clearly harder. Knowing this story, I could never look into my little girls eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. I will never put that shit in my mouth again. I am a generally nasty guy. I believe the ends justify the means, I've been in plenty of fist fights thanks to my silver tounge, I've broken bones and have scars like evil knievel. I dont like kittens or bunnies or walks on the beach. I don't cry. When I read Hey Dad....and know he isnt there for her because of a stupid round can of cancer ? the same stupid fucking can that I used and you used. That I thought I could never give up. ? I cry like a fucking baby. I'm ashamed of this shitty addiction. I'm angry at myself for ever trying it. Im pissed off at anybody who fails to quit because I'm tormented about the fact they are killing themselves. I hate the try and maybe and luck . I fucking hate big Pharm with their idiotic patches and gum and lozenges. They claim it increases quit rates and is shown effective in a double blind study. DUH!! That study would work exactly how? If you give me a placebo I will know inside 2 hrs. I will be in a raging nic fit. So guess what I do? I know I didn't get the drug so fuck off study Im outtie to the 7-11. If I did get the drug well no sweat I guess. So the group recieving the drugs while safe from withdrawl remains addicted. the other group relapses due to withdrawl. So now the widdle druggy wuggy patchy watchy is proven successful. Horse pucky. What a sham. That and nic gum and those fucking anal suppository lozenges have a high rate of abuse. So we keep BUYING MORE!!! So ridiculous I can hardly stand it. Assuming you use them correctly and wean down as directed you wind up in a state of withdrawl anyhow!!!! So what exactly is the point. The result is the same.
Fucking mood swings STILL, temper all fucked up. Anxiety coming and going like a new york subway train. I still take some adderall to deal with the ADD but I am now suspicious that it is prolonging or preventing my nicotine addled melon from healing. All the receptors that were so happy to release or inhibit serotonin reuptake because of nicotine are now managed by Adderall. Cross addiction you may ask? perhaps. I did stop popping ativan like tic tacs and the Adderall helps kinda keep shit together and clear while it lasts. Or maybe thats just another addict rationalization. Some days and weeks are easy , some are rocky. I read that it can take 2 years to get past the physical and cognitive damage this shit did. Maybe this is like the post Hof funk and as you hit a year things get odd. Two caving dreams this week, one was a cig and the other was Kodiak. I would actually drive to a new store or chew plug before I would stick the bear in my mouth so this was really bizarre. . For you newbies I am bitching a tad, but it is without a doubt easier than at day 1 or even than day 100, hell it is even easier than yesterday. BUT I STILL QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BLue claw taught me that. roughly 330 days in a row he taught me. Blue I think I'm startin to get it. !!
Thanks for the opportunity to vent
Ust are a bunch of goat molesting souless profit vampires. They have to keep making addicts faster than they kill them. They're good at both so we need to keep fighting.
sM
skoal Monster
Can I just add that You are an awesome dad that you quite and it makes a world of difference to your kids. My own kids love me more for quitting and I am not ashamed to tell them what hell I am going through. They understand. Keep up the good workand keep posting man. do not give up the quit. 7138167823... Ricko
Damn, Skoal Monster. I haven't posted roll yet today....stopped over here before I had the chance. I'm glad I did. I got to read about some things I had been forgetting lately.
I was about to post roll, and tell my August brothers that I have really been struggling with craves for the last week or so. I don't get it.....I'm not talking about momentary craves. I have fought harder in the last week, than I have since the first month of being quit.
1. A huge thank you for reminding me about the Kern family. I needed to read Kenzi's words. Aside from my children and Curtis (ODT), Tom Kern's story has been a major factor in keeping me quit. As with you, it hits home, big time.
2. And thanks for reminding me of the simplicity, yet effectiveness, of Blueclaw's daily mantra. One day at a time, brothers.
Scott
-
Hey Dad-
Merry Christmas!!! I know this is your favorite time of year and we are all missing you so much over the holidays. Ryan, Kenra, and I went out and got a real tree agian this year...It makes me think of you every time I look at it! I miss you and love you so much wishing you could be here every day with us!!!
Merry Christmas Daddy!!!
Kenzi Kern
- Friday, December 25, 2009 8:24 PM CST
[/size]
Holiday prayers for Tom, Jenny ,and their kids. I used to think quitting was hard, the alternative is clearly harder. Knowing this story, I could never look into my little girls eyes and tell them that I choose cancer over them. I will never put that shit in my mouth again. I am a generally nasty guy. I believe the ends justify the means, I've been in plenty of fist fights thanks to my silver tounge, I've broken bones and have scars like evil knievel. I dont like kittens or bunnies or walks on the beach. I don't cry. When I read Hey Dad....and know he isnt there for her because of a stupid round can of cancer ? the same stupid fucking can that I used and you used. That I thought I could never give up. ? I cry like a fucking baby. I'm ashamed of this shitty addiction. I'm angry at myself for ever trying it. Im pissed off at anybody who fails to quit because I'm tormented about the fact they are killing themselves. I hate the try and maybe and luck . I fucking hate big Pharm with their idiotic patches and gum and lozenges. They claim it increases quit rates and is shown effective in a double blind study. DUH!! That study would work exactly how? If you give me a placebo I will know inside 2 hrs. I will be in a raging nic fit. So guess what I do? I know I didn't get the drug so fuck off study Im outtie to the 7-11. If I did get the drug well no sweat I guess. So the group recieving the drugs while safe from withdrawl remains addicted. the other group relapses due to withdrawl. So now the widdle druggy wuggy patchy watchy is proven successful. Horse pucky. What a sham. That and nic gum and those fucking anal suppository lozenges have a high rate of abuse. So we keep BUYING MORE!!! So ridiculous I can hardly stand it. Assuming you use them correctly and wean down as directed you wind up in a state of withdrawl anyhow!!!! So what exactly is the point. The result is the same.
Fucking mood swings STILL, temper all fucked up. Anxiety coming and going like a new york subway train. I still take some adderall to deal with the ADD but I am now suspicious that it is prolonging or preventing my nicotine addled melon from healing. All the receptors that were so happy to release or inhibit serotonin reuptake because of nicotine are now managed by Adderall. Cross addiction you may ask? perhaps. I did stop popping ativan like tic tacs and the Adderall helps kinda keep shit together and clear while it lasts. Or maybe thats just another addict rationalization. Some days and weeks are easy , some are rocky. I read that it can take 2 years to get past the physical and cognitive damage this shit did. Maybe this is like the post Hof funk and as you hit a year things get odd. Two caving dreams this week, one was a cig and the other was Kodiak. I would actually drive to a new store or chew plug before I would stick the bear in my mouth so this was really bizarre. . For you newbies I am bitching a tad, but it is without a doubt easier than at day 1 or even than day 100, hell it is even easier than yesterday. BUT I STILL QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BLue claw taught me that. roughly 330 days in a row he taught me. Blue I think I'm startin to get it. !!
Thanks for the opportunity to vent
Ust are a bunch of goat molesting souless profit vampires. They have to keep making addicts faster than they kill them. They're good at both so we need to keep fighting.
sM
skoal Monster
Can I just add that You are an awesome dad that you quite and it makes a world of difference to your kids. My own kids love me more for quitting and I am not ashamed to tell them what hell I am going through. They understand. Keep up the good workand keep posting man. do not give up the quit. 7138167823... Ricko
Damn, Skoal Monster. I haven't posted roll yet today....stopped over here before I had the chance. I'm glad I did. I got to read about some things I had been forgetting lately.
I was about to post roll, and tell my August brothers that I have really been struggling with craves for the last week or so. I don't get it.....I'm not talking about momentary craves. I have fought harder in the last week, than I have since the first month of being quit.
1. A huge thank you for reminding me about the Kern family. I needed to read Kenzi's words. Aside from my children and Curtis (ODT), Tom Kern's story has been a major factor in keeping me quit. As with you, it hits home, big time.
2. And thanks for reminding me of the simplicity, yet effectiveness, of Blueclaw's daily mantra. One day at a time, brothers.
Scott
'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
-
Administration of a drug to an addict will cause
re-establishment of chemical dependence
upon the addictive substance."
"After a year or so I was so confident that the battle was over that I left my support system behind...it was only a matter of months before I figured I could get away with "just one". (What a horrible joke that thought is!) Of course my addicition was renewed at full strength, nearly immediately."
"Sometime after that I remember thinking I had overcome my addiction and that I could have ' just a puff' and no harm would come of it. I kept smoking for 7 years after that. I was crushed that I failed but I know now that ' one smoke' is the road to defeat."
"So why did I throw away a 6 month + quit, and with it - my life and all the education and support I was freely given here at Freedom? - well for the sake of one puff! For the illusion of controlled smoking - for the belief that one won't hurt - for the relief of well I can always try again later......."
"I never took a puff for 13 years.
I remember that day in 1999 like it was yesterday. I was in Toronto on business having a drink with a good friend at a hotel bar. My friend smokes and after a couple of adult beverages I did something very stupid. I grabbed one of my friends cigarettes and lit it up. Two days later I was back home in Chicago hooked again after 13 years."
"Tried twice to quit, made it both times to 21/2 months then got the fatal idea that i could smoke just one, well that ist puff hooked for the next 10 years."
"Wow....does this thread ever hit home for me. It was a night back in October of 1997 when I was out drinking after a viewing for a firefighter who died in the line of duty. It was a very emotional evening and I had not injested any nicotine for 30 months. Even though I debated with myself for over an hour about having a cigarette, I finally bummed one to satisfy my mental urge. The next day I was up to my old habit of 2 packs a day. I wasn't aware of this site back then. I am here now every day. I read the threads and thank God I'm still nicotine free. I have a new way of looking at my addiction now. I know that relapse is a choice. Larry 1 Month 3 Weeks 6 Days. Cigarettes not smoked: 2623. Money saved: $489.34. "
Still think you can have just one?
sM
-
Administration of a drug to an addict will cause
re-establishment of chemical dependence
upon the addictive substance."
"After a year or so I was so confident that the battle was over that I left my support system behind...it was only a matter of months before I figured I could get away with "just one". (What a horrible joke that thought is!) Of course my addicition was renewed at full strength, nearly immediately."
"Sometime after that I remember thinking I had overcome my addiction and that I could have ' just a puff' and no harm would come of it. I kept smoking for 7 years after that. I was crushed that I failed but I know now that ' one smoke' is the road to defeat."
"So why did I throw away a 6 month + quit, and with it - my life and all the education and support I was freely given here at Freedom? - well for the sake of one puff! For the illusion of controlled smoking - for the belief that one won't hurt - for the relief of well I can always try again later......."
"I never took a puff for 13 years.
I remember that day in 1999 like it was yesterday. I was in Toronto on business having a drink with a good friend at a hotel bar. My friend smokes and after a couple of adult beverages I did something very stupid. I grabbed one of my friends cigarettes and lit it up. Two days later I was back home in Chicago hooked again after 13 years."
"Tried twice to quit, made it both times to 21/2 months then got the fatal idea that i could smoke just one, well that ist puff hooked for the next 10 years."
"Wow....does this thread ever hit home for me. It was a night back in October of 1997 when I was out drinking after a viewing for a firefighter who died in the line of duty. It was a very emotional evening and I had not injested any nicotine for 30 months. Even though I debated with myself for over an hour about having a cigarette, I finally bummed one to satisfy my mental urge. The next day I was up to my old habit of 2 packs a day. I wasn't aware of this site back then. I am here now every day. I read the threads and thank God I'm still nicotine free. I have a new way of looking at my addiction now. I know that relapse is a choice. Larry 1 Month 3 Weeks 6 Days. Cigarettes not smoked: 2623. Money saved: $489.34. "
Still think you can have just one?
sM
Great reminder of what complacency can do!!! Hell No can I have just one!!!
-
I can't quit"
I've made it no secret over the years that my favorite Joel Spitzer article is the one entitled, "I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit."[20] It's about a lady who enrolled in one of Joel's two-week clinics, which involved six, two-hour sessions. She advised Joel up front that, "I don't want to be called on during this clinic. I am quitting smoking, but I don't want to talk about it. Please don't call on me."
Joel said, "Sure. I won't make you talk, but if you feel you would like to interject at anytime, please don't hesitate to." She grew angry. "Maybe I am not making myself clear, I don't want to talk! If you make me talk I will get up and walk out of this room. If you look at me with an inquisitive look on your face, I am leaving! Am I making myself clear?"
Surprised by the force of her reaction, he said he'd honor her request. Although he still hoped she'd change her mind and share her experiences with the group, Joel was no longer expecting it.
With approximately 20 participants, it was a good group except for two women in back who "gabbed constantly." Others were forced to turn around and ask them to be quiet. The women would stop for a few seconds and then were right back at it. Sometimes, when other people were sharing sad, personal experiences, they would be laughing at some humorous story they had shared with each other, oblivious to surrounding happenings, recalls Joel.
On the third day of the clinic it happened. The two ladies in the back were talking away as usual when a young lady asked if she could speak to the group first because she had to leave. The two in the back continued their private conversation as if she wasn't there. The young woman said, "I can't stay, I had a horrible tragedy in my family today, my brother was killed in an accident. I wasn't even supposed to come tonight; I am supposed to be helping my family making funeral arrangements. But I knew I had to stop by if I was going to continue to not smoke."
She'd remained nicotine-free for two days and not smoking was obviously important. Joel recalls that the group "felt terrible, but were so proud of her, it made what happened in their day seem so trivial. All except the two ladies in the back of the room. They actually heard none of what was happening," writes Joel. "When the young woman was telling how close she and her brother were, the two gossips actually broke out laughing. They weren't laughing at the story, they were laughing at something totally different not even aware of what was being discussed in the room." The young lady excused herself to return to her family, said she'd keep in touch and thanked the group for their support.
A few minutes later Joel was relating a story to the group when all of a sudden the lady who had requested anonymity interrupted him. "Excuse me Joel," she said loudly. "I wasn't going to say anything this whole program. The first day I told Joel not to call on me. I told him I would walk out if I had to talk. I told him I would leave if he tried to make me talk. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. But today I feel I cannot keep quiet any longer. I must tell my story." The room went quiet.
"I have terminal lung cancer. I am going to die within two months. I am here to quit smoking. I want to make it clear that I am not kidding myself into thinking that if I quit I will save my life. It is too late for me. I am going to die and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. But I am going to quit smoking."
"You may wonder why I am quitting if I am going to die anyway. Well, I have my reasons. When my children were small, they always pestered me about my smoking. I told them over and over to leave me alone, that I wanted to stop but couldn't. I said it so often they stopped begging. But now my children are in their twenties and thirties, and two of them smoke. When I found out about my cancer, I begged them to stop. They replied to me, with pained expressions on their faces, that they want to stop but they can't."
"I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I am off two days now, and I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
"I enrolled in the clinic to pick up any tips that would make quitting a little easier and because I was real curious about how people who really were taught the dangers of smoking would react. If I knew then what I know now- well, anyway, I have sat and listened to all of you closely. I feel for each and every one of you and I pray you all make it. Even though I haven't said a word to anyone, I feel close to all of you. Your sharing has helped me. As I said, I wasn't going to talk. But today I have to. Let me tell you why."
She turned to the two ladies in the back, who Joel recalls had listened to her every word. "The only reason I am speaking up now is because you two BITCHES are driving me crazy. You are partying in the back while everyone else is sharing with each other, trying to help save each other's lives." She told them about the young woman whose brother was killed and how they laughed, totally unaware of her loss.
"Will you both do me a favor, just get the hell out of here! Go out and smoke, drop dead for all we care, you are learning and contributing nothing here." Joel recalls they sat stunned. He had to calm the group as things had become "quite charged." Needless to say, writes Joel, "that was the last of the gabbing from the back of the room for the entire two-week clinic."
All present that night were successful in remaining nicotine-free. The two ladies who had earlier talked only to each other were applauded by all during graduation, even by the lady with lung cancer. "All was forgiven," recalls Joel. The lady who'd lost her brother was also present, nicotine-free and proud.
"And the lady with lung cancer proudly accepted her diploma and introduced one of her children. He had stopped smoking for over a week at that time. Actually, when the lady with cancer was sharing her story with us, she had not told her family yet that she had even quit smoking," wrote Joel. Six weeks later his mother was dead.
When Joel called to see how she was doing her son answered. He thanked Joel for helping her quit at the end and told him how proud she was and how proud he was of her. "She never went back to smoking, and I will not either," he said.
She'd taught her children a falsehood and as her final lesson sought to set the record straight. It wasn't that she couldn't quit but that she wouldn't. I too was once convinced "I couldn't" but it was a lie. It was a lie sold to me by a mind taken hostage by nicotine, a captive mind that had me believing that my next fix was more important than life itself.
Exerpts from a free pdf book by Polito JR entitled
"Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home"
Copyright 2008 John R. Polito
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THE VOID
Silly rabbits, nicotine wasn't filling the void it was creating it.
What exactly is it that your foggy mind imagines you lost? The only thing that chew is good for is to keep you addicted to chew.
You think you miss it? Is it the morning ritual of scraping the dead skin off your lip? Did it make you a better husband, father, son. Perhaps you miss being tethered to a dripping sewer of a spitter. I know!!! It made you smarter and the lump in your lip was a real hit with the ladies . You didn't lose anything , instead you have gained everything, perhaps your very life.
Nothing to miss thats all illusion created by the addiction
"Bullshit" you say "I remember that it was good and I liked it"
You miss that good dip? the perfect wedge that you think you remember. I bet you have a romantic memory , mine is of dipping in the bleachers at the highschool game on Friday night. (Secret for you) That's not the dip you get when you cave. Ohhhh nooooo buttercup, you get a dip that was just like your LAST ONE. Remember that lame chew? The one you had to have just to feed your habit, you had to think about where to put it because everywhere else hurt. Except this dip will be full of guilt and shame and failure. How could you start again when you have read the Tom Kern story? or looked at ODT's cancer surgery, or spent any time here at all?
Don't romanticize your addiction, if it was so great why did you want to stop in the first place.
It isnt the one good chew you get when you fail , its the 10,000 shitty chews that will come with it. How long will it take you to get back to 30 days of freedom? How long did it take you this time? for me it was years in between quits. You can't risk that, how many chances until you look your son or daughter in the eyes and tell them you killed yourself? and you did it on purpose. The next dip could be the one
that kills you. It isn't likely but the possibility is there. Jenny Kern said the odds of getting cancer from chew don't matter if your the one that gets it. Just sayin
Still on the fence eh, " it was always there for me" and " it would calm me down" you mumble. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor it raises your blood pressure. It is also a stimulant. Sounds calming alright . More illusions of your nicotine soaked cerabellum. When you are angry you produce chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These literally take the nic out of your blood stream. So you go into withdrawl. So....we...would have a dip, and feel better. The calm you felt... was only the relief from withdrawl.
But we all believed it was THE DIP that calmed us, it was in reality the DIP that caused alot of the stress. Nicotine creating a void (can you see it yet)
The feel better high you seek, the replacement for your so called void? I think PBkids shrink friend was close but not quite there. If you can admit the void is caused by nicotine and your addiction, then the opposite must be true as well. Recovery from the addiction will fill the void. You can see this prove out in your own group and those ahead of you. Posts such as it was great to hang out with my kid and not worry about a place to spit or a spitter. Posts on how nice it feels to not HAVE to lie and hide. How proud you feel, how proud your loved ones are. Those feelings of relief, calm , become more and more as your quit progresses. THAT my addict brethren will fill the void, THAT is the good and the positive stuff that your already working for. (another secret) it's worth it and it feels so much better than you do now.
your body has to heal, your mind needs to heal. Dip literally changes the way your brain works, and it changes how your body produces and uses all of its feel good chemicals. It effects serotonin and adrenaline. The fog in my opinion is created by a lack of chemical production when your brain is trying to figure out what the hell to do with out a steady stream of posion ( you knew that nicotine is a potent neurotoxin right). Anti depressants act on the same chemicals that nic did. Coincidence that Wellbutrin does the same thing? You may feel depressed, the funk, the fog, the blahs and the fuck its. It hits with a repeatable timing in all the groups. Common sense tells you that a pattern that occurs across every group could be reality.This is your brain healing. Literally nicotine receptors are dying and new neuro pathways are forming. This is the price you must pay to earn your freedom. Embrace it. Rkymtnman gave you the best piece of advice yet. Excercise, Yes you frito lay lovin pork rind munching fattys need to get off your collective asses and excercise. Walking counts if you put some distance there. Excercise works on your body just like the rest of the stuff above. Excercise releases endorphins that will help you feel better. It is scientifically proven that you will have less craves and less severe craves AND a larger number of you droolers will stay quit. Thor's Pajammer is correct with meditation, check out what meditation does to brain chemistry as well. Its all the same , help yourself and take a walk.
As Forest Gump says thats all I have to say about that. Sorry for the long post, I hope it helps. It is really just a collection of things I've picked up from those who helped me. Some is from posts you'll find if you dig hard enough. One day at a time buttercups. If I can do it so can you. Now seriously put the pickle down and buy a ab roller.
Quitting can really be the easiest hard thing you'll ever do. Or it can be the hardest easy thing. Depends on how you flip the switch in your mind.
sM
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good shit SM
good shit
not as entertaining as Jan '10
but much more thought provoking
*LOOT makes sign of cross in SM's direction*
Church of LOOT
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Nice thought provoking post as usual SM!!! thanks for sharing!!!
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Nice thought provoking post as usual SM!!! thanks for sharing!!!
My Friend (The Enemy)
My Story
I was introduced to my friend (The Enemy) when I tried to quit smoking. It seemed like a safer alternative right? I did not have the cough or the other so called side effects of smoking right? After several failed attempts on June 28th 1996 my friend (The Enemy) helped me quit smoking forever. (9 year habit) My friend (The Enemy) told me several times I would not be nearly as addicted to it as I would smoking so I figured I would use my friend (The Enemy) and then quit that. Well, my friend (The Enemy) began to turn on me. Numerous times over the next 4 years I tried and failed to quit. My friend (The Enemy) was making me feel horrible every time I tried to quit. It was making me feel worse than the days I tried to quit smoking. I was starting to hate my friend (The Enemy)
Finally, on July 21st 2000, (One day before my wedding) I made the decision to live my married life without what I will now just call my enemy. After all, my soon to be wife does not even know I have this enemy. Things went well for awhile but for some reason in late October in 2000 the enemy worked its way back into my life. I can just have one right, I said to myself? I am used to living without it and one won’t hurt?? Well, one became two and then three and so on. The enemy was back but with a vengeance. The enemy and I decided to keep it from my wife so she still won’t know. Well, that October decision has led to another almost 10 years with the enemy. The wife of course over time found out I have this enemy. I still hid it from her but she knew. You might say the enemy even kept me from my wife. After all, why else would I want to stay up when she goes to bed? So I can spend time with the enemy over her. Over the 10 years I tried to kill this enemy, after my child was born, when I turned 40 etc...My six year old son even called it “yuck stuff” and swore he would do the same thing when he got older. (Should that not be motivation or what?)
Well, here I sit on January 11th 2010. I have now lived 6 days without the enemy. The longest I have gone without the enemy since my wedding. I do not feel great but I am working on it. I wrote this just to capture some of my thoughts as I go through this. Tomorrow, I have a dentist appointment that I was scared about over the weekend. See, on the last day before I quit I got a sore on my lower lip. (Was not the reason I quit as I had already made the decision to quit) It did help me cut down on another chew marathon for that last day before the quit. Over the next several days it got bigger and hurt a lot more. Luckily, yesterday it faded and today is pretty small. I guess you worry more and are more aware when the enemy is not inside you influencing your thoughts. I have had some sores in the past and disregarded them.
If all goes well tomorrow I will be feeling much better about the quit. Wish me luck, and I will hopefully write more in the future.
Steelers (I am in the April quit group, Quit on December 16th originally but caved on the 18th)
-
My Friend (The Enemy)
My Story
I was introduced to my friend (The Enemy) when I tried to quit smoking. It seemed like a safer alternative right? I did not have the cough or the other so called side effects of smoking right? After several failed attempts on June 28th 1996 my friend (The Enemy) helped me quit smoking forever. (9 year habit) My friend (The Enemy) told me several times I would not be nearly as addicted to it as I would smoking so I figured I would use my friend (The Enemy) and then quit that. Well, my friend (The Enemy) began to turn on me. Numerous times over the next 4 years I tried and failed to quit. My friend (The Enemy) was making me feel horrible every time I tried to quit. It was making me feel worse than the days I tried to quit smoking. I was starting to hate my friend (The Enemy)
Finally, on July 21st 2000, (One day before my wedding) I made the decision to live my married life without what I will now just call my enemy. After all, my soon to be wife does not even know I have this enemy. Things went well for awhile but for some reason in late October in 2000 the enemy worked its way back into my life. I can just have one right, I said to myself? I am used to living without it and one won’t hurt?? Well, one became two and then three and so on. The enemy was back but with a vengeance. The enemy and I decided to keep it from my wife so she still won’t know. Well, that October decision has led to another almost 10 years with the enemy. The wife of course over time found out I have this enemy. I still hid it from her but she knew. You might say the enemy even kept me from my wife. After all, why else would I want to stay up when she goes to bed? So I can spend time with the enemy over her. Over the 10 years I tried to kill this enemy, after my child was born, when I turned 40 etc...My six year old son even called it “yuck stuff” and swore he would do the same thing when he got older. (Should that not be motivation or what?)
Well, here I sit on January 11th 2010. I have now lived 6 days without the enemy. The longest I have gone without the enemy since my wedding. I do not feel great but I am working on it. I wrote this just to capture some of my thoughts as I go through this. Tomorrow, I have a dentist appointment that I was scared about over the weekend. See, on the last day before I quit I got a sore on my lower lip. (Was not the reason I quit as I had already made the decision to quit) It did help me cut down on another chew marathon for that last day before the quit. Over the next several days it got bigger and hurt a lot more. Luckily, yesterday it faded and today is pretty small. I guess you worry more and are more aware when the enemy is not inside you influencing your thoughts. I have had some sores in the past and disregarded them.Â
If all goes well tomorrow I will be feeling much better about the quit. Wish me luck, and I will hopefully write more in the future.
Steelers (I am in the April quit group, Quit on December 16th originally but caved on the 18th)
Steelers, your doin well at 6 days keep it up. This is a good history, you ought to post it on YOUR intro page so you can keep track of it.
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Green Eggs and Lies
Down the hall, the addict runs looking for an out .Check the windows, check the doors, find the easy route. Any lie will do, he reasons , to use his killing love. I drank too much, I couldn't think, The drive was much to long. I didn't take it seriously, I didn't have a plan, Such fairytale excuses to spread throughout the land.
Each lie he tells he finds rebuffed. We've heard it all before. The voices of his brothers scream back the truth and more. In unison they'll show him what he refuses to admit. Each lie can be dismantled, each reason shown as false. Nothing helped by using it except to keep you hooked. To relax, to think, just when I drink, the fish won't bite, when I drive at night, just at work, if I don't I'm a jerk. The song goes on and on. All these things he did before, the drug just stole his soul. Thoughts came easy because no fix was needed to clear the poisoned mind. You never were so angry until nic and all her tricks.
Funny thing about us addicts, like dogs that chase their tails. While nic burns a hole in our hearts and steals everything that we hold dear. We don't stop taking the posion, in that there is much fear. Instead, we try to fill the void in such a backwards way, we simply use more and more of our drug each and every day. The thing that made the void is what we crave to fill it. Such a stupid mistake I felt the need to spill it.
The windows closed, he stumbles on and considers for a bit. A lie won't work to get my fix, perhaps I'll use the truth. My job is lost, my love is gone, my so and so has died, my car is broke, my health it fails , my joy, my loss, my triumph and my pride . For these I need "my old friend", my pesticidal love.
He tells himself because it's true, it's good enough to work. To question such a slip you'd have to be a jerk. My pains so great that I must fail and my my who could blame me. They'd fail too if they were me, and not one of them will flame me.
The addict tries each "truth" in turn, he assumes it must be real. How could they fault me now he thinks , for anyone would know, such sorrows are too great to bear. A little fix to get me thru , to get me here to there. No one could blame me for this slip I doubt they'll even care.
But at every door a brother stands to block the addicts path. The brother knows the lies of truth, he sees the addict eye to eye, he's said and heard it all before. The grief is understandable but not the slip you see. You will not get a pass from me.
"There is no truth that I'll believe that makes it fine to fall, not one thing gets better with your slip at all. Lies you tell and truths you tell are all the same to me, there is no true excuse for failure, not one you'll ever see." Each lie or truth so cleverly concieved, is nothing but a useless con the addict wants believed.
Now the addict gets quite mad, " how dare you call me out!!" I'll run away because you don't believe, I'll leave because your mean, I'll leave because you called me names, or you like the color green. The addict thinks that we don't know, he thinks that lifes too hard, he thinks because we treat his "truths" just the same as lies. That he can yell "INSENSITIVE" and sever all his ties.
But in reality it is just another door. One only he can lock. No brothers from KTC can hold the addict here. Should he choose to run away and use this one excuse. He'll not believe we mean to help he'll believe it's as he thinks. Convinced we are a bunch of jerks throwing kitchen sinks.
The addict doesn't know he's spinning his own lie. I hope to God he finds it out before he has to die. Deep down he wonders how on earth all his brothers are so wrong. Why can't they see how special he is, how hard it is for him, how it is he's different. Stronger,weaker, more addicted, has more stress or wears a dress, needs it more than a dollar whore, can't stop because he's scared. But I digress that list is much too long.
He exits out the hallway and back into the cold, a world of guilt and shame and fear , a patchwork built of lies. He'll believe his illusions for longer now until he clears the haze . A chance once more at the hallways door? or the burn of cancers sting. Either way a change must come it only ends two ways.
A crack in the door or a voice from a friend will show him this hall again.
he'll look a long way down it with hesitation and chagrin.
Perhaps this time he'll walk straight thru and not try all the doors.
Perhaps he'll heed his brothers words. you see, they know the way ,they've walked this hall before .
Perhaps he'll pull the veil from covering his eyes
Perhaps he'll learn that truth and lies are really all the same. That there is no Godly reason to continue with this game.
and then at last my addict friend, you'll see what you've forsaken, when 100 speak the truth, and yet you disagree, then maybe your mistaken.
You most likely won't like what you hear when it is not so queitly explained to you that your full of shit. Addicts lie, to others, but mostly to themselves. What makes KTC work is the wisdom of large groups. When you participate here you open yourself up so the collection of misfits saints and fellow addicts can gain access to your mind. If your off target someone WILL point it out. Others will agree or disagree. If the whole collection of tards decides your a dumbass, well then you better just buy the T-shirt because you are infact a dumbass. Question is what will you do with that info?
I got mad and wanted to leave. I realized I didn't have a choice but to stay. When I stayed long enough I realized that I was wrong about the issue, I was infact a dumbass. I realized why I had never been successful before, and I realized how to quit. I'm still learning, but I walk down the center of the hallway and don't check locks anymore to see if doors might be open. I'm going to keep whistling dixie and walking down the middle one day at a time. Follow the foot steps and listen to the group, if you can't hear anything, sing out,We'll answer. its like an echo that only comes back with honesty.
skoal Monster
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Great stuff SM.
Again.
Thank you.
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Great stuff SM!!!! What every addict should read and take to heart!!!! Thanks for posting this story!!!
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Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
I will never never never put that shit in my mouth again.
sm
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Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
I will never never never put that shit in my mouth again.
sm
me neither, thanks for keeping it all in focus sm
-
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
I will never never never put that shit in my mouth again.
sm
me neither, thanks for keeping it all in focus sm
Was having a rough day, first craves I have had in several days. I think they just rolled down the right side of my face.
-
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
I will never never never put that shit in my mouth again.
sm
me neither, thanks for keeping it all in focus sm
Was having a rough day, first craves I have had in several days. I think they just rolled down the right side of my face.
Glad I found this today. I needed it.
-
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards. During the last 5 years I felt I was gradually doing better. I would have dips of depression and sadness, but then I would come back. However, the last 6 months have had fewer days of happiness than sadness. I'm angry that I'm not on that gradual incline towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, but there is a cloud hanging over me at all times. For the first time, I am actually contemplating an anti-depressant. I recently told a friend that I still cry every day - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. She said, "Still, after all this time?" It won't ever go away, but I thought it would continually get better.
I'm sure part of it has to do with Alexa graduating. Her hockey team made it to state for the second year in a row. In the past two years, the best games I have seen the team play have been the section championship games at Gustavus (where Tom and I went to college). Tom's work-study job was at the hockey rink. Last year, they beat Mankato West (Tom's high school) to go to state. I told Alexa that Dad had to be there because Hutch was playing Mankato West at Gustavus - how could he NOT be there!
Alexa has her last choir concert in a couple of weeks. I know I will cry. They sing a goodbye song for the seniors as we watch a slide show of their baby pictures and senior pictures.
We are planning to have Tom's high school and college friends come at the end of her graduation party to tell stories about him for the kids. We all love to here stories about him. It's hard to celebrate when he isn't here to celebrate with us. I know graduation day will be hard - watching her, knowing that she is missing him.
We recently had to junk Tom's Ranger. It was too old and needed too many repairs. Mackenzie and I had the hardest time parting with it. She drove it right after Tom died until she had Kenra. It was letting go of one more piece of him.
Connor recently hit a homerun, and I know he wished Tom were there to congratulate him. Tom would have loved to see him all dressed up for the homecoming dance. He would enjoy teasing Connor's about his girlfriend! Tom would be proud of his grades and the quality of his character.
Tori really needs her dad to give her a big hug. She is such a good girl, but anytime she makes a mistake she thinks she is letting him down. He needs to tell her that he loves her no matter what. She beats herself up sometimes. It isn't enough for me to tell her Tom loves her no matter what.
I'm so proud of the people our children are growing up to be. I'm happy they have so much of Tom's character in them. I wish he were here to share in my joys as I watch them grow and mature.
Thanks for your continued support. I need the words of encouragement.
Jenny
I will never never never put that shit in my mouth again.
sm
me neither, thanks for keeping it all in focus sm
Was having a rough day, first craves I have had in several days. I think they just rolled down the right side of my face.
Glad I found this today. I needed it.
Tears. I needed to read this in the worst way. Thanks SM!
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This thead should be read beginning to end. What an awesome collection of quit wisdom all in one place.
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This thead should be read beginning to end. What an awesome collection of quit wisdom all in one place.
Allec,
SM is a wise quitter. His posts have helped me quite a bit. Spend some time in here.... very good stuff.
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Rocky posted one of my late night rambles, and I got a couple of PM's on it. As I was responding to Lochi , I laid out my own theory about where my mind is aton day 479 regarding use rationalizations. I think one key to success is really being able to identify your "inner addict" feeding you reasons why you should have a dip, smoke etc. In any case, here is my deal. The Words of wisdom link is below as reference.
index.php?showtopic=3416 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3416)
I just read your rationalization message in WORDS OF WISDOM section. Bro - You were speaking right to me this morning. I needed to read your words. I have been a mother fucker lately to my family and I have been questioning whether I am a better parent with or without the dip?Â
I keep forgetting that shit kills and I'm much better off alive (and a fucktard) then dead to my family. I know that much for sure.Â
Thanks for your help! And please continue posting your thoughts. You have a way with words!!
Lochi21 - Day 91
Glad it helps, sometimes all the drugs I do combine just right and I get a rational thought. ( Just kidding....kind of)
91 days is huge, but it's just a start. YOur going to have good and bad days. You WILL still make up reasons why you need to dip. At least I do. Funny thing is you'll recognize your own bs. I can actually laugh at myself now when I think " I'm really stressed out, maybe I should have a dip" it used to piss me off that I still thought like that, now, although annoying , its just lame. I don't know about the future but I think I may have that little whisper for a long time, maybe forever. I have decided that's ok. It is the price I have to pay because I started dipping in the first place. Kind of like a physical scar from some dumbass thing I did as a kid. Only this scar is a mental one .
The guys that cave after 100 or even 1,000 forget. They forget that they're addicts. They forget that the whisper is never going away. They forget how hard it was to get to 100 days clean. I am still getting better at catching myself rationalizing why I could or should dip again. Mostly because I watch the new guys saying the same stupid shit, only they believe it still. I think I win in the end, as long as I stay quit one day at a time, I'll keep healing.
I dipped for 8,000 plus days. My 479 kicks ass, but 8,000 days of dipping is a long time . It will take a bit to unlearn all that shit. It'll take a bit to learn who the hell I am without dip. Smokey once said "Bout time we start reclaiming control of other aspects of our lives and choices, eh? Hate to break it to you Octopussies, but this isn't just about quitting nicotine."
In my opinion it is also about letting go of an imaginary crutch and learning how to run without it, and Smoke is right about reclaiming control of our lives and choices. This is one of my favorite quotes, because it really puts the shit in perspective.
sm
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ONE TRUTH
One small detail that has made all the difference. I remember dipping and wanting to quit. I mean REALLY wanting to quit. Fear of cancer wanting to quit, pray to God wanting to quit, try anything wanting to quit. Wife crying begging me to quit, kids spitting on the ground to be like Daddy wanting to quit.
I'd feel the desire to quit and remember previous attempts. A day, a week, 6 months. I would laugh at myself because I was so stupid. How could I hate something having so much power over me, get free of it, then forget I hated it, miss it , go back, and restart the cycle. 'bang head'
A promise to myself.
No matter what happened, if I could ever break free again, I would remember how bad I wanted to quit. I lose the fear of addiction from time to time, I tell myself secrets about a dip or a smoke , I forget alot of the struggle to get here, But I clearly remember my promise made in a moment of clarity. If I could want to free myself of something so bad when I had it, then I know that wanting it when I have successfully gained my freedom is addiction and not truth. The simple memory of my desire to stop works on all my lies like a shield.
Hold onto something, your reason for quitting, the emotion behind it. Write it down. There may come a day where you forget your an addict, a day where you think one won't hurt, a day where you believe you can quit again at will. On that day you will need to remember how bad you wished you never tried it, how hard it was to gather the strength to quit, how much you hated the control it had on you, how much you wished , prayed, begged, and pleaded to get quit. If you can tap into that you'll never look back, no matter what your inner addict whispers in your ear.
sm
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SM,
You've always been a big help with the more cerebral aspects of quitting. I know cerebral aspects of anything around here are frowned upon so I just wanted to congratulate you on your "promotion" to moderator. Keep up the good work man.
-
Once upon a highschool I knew a tank sized fattapotamus named "Hope" . She was a useless chewed bubblegum looking ginormous wad of girth that wore Salmon colored shorts which showed her questionably colored panties as she contorted and wobbled her elephant sized particulars up the rope in the gym. Like watching a steroidal jellyfish trying to screw a giant licorice whip.
I Hope I can quit, I hope this works, I hope, I hope , I hope.......... your a moron. I hope your paying attention.
Like the high school Hope O Saurus , hoping to quit is useless and won't get it done. When you say you "hope you can quit", you transfer the responsibility of quitting to some unicorn riding quit fairy and away from yourself. You might as well wish on a star that you'll be quit in the morning. "I wish I could quit? " of all the defeatest idiotic garbage " hope to quit" and "wish I could" are two tell tale signs of impending failure. Where is the responsibility for your own self control?
Nothing keeps you from quitting but you, and the lies you tell. Hope isn't for quitters
ITS A DECISION. You decided to quit? then quit Dammit. Choices have consequences and rewards. To quit means to face withdrawl, it requires the confrontation of triggers without using nicotine. It will not always be easy,but get over it. This is the price you pay to earn your freedom.Besides, what have you ever earned of value that was easy? ( Besides Bubba's undying love) . it won't always be hard either, so look forward to that. You learn to live life without a chemical addiction.The reward is bigger than High School Hope's ever expanding ass. Better relationships, your self respect, freedom, control, health, perhaps your very life. Maybe the next dip is the one that kills you?
You can't hope your way to freedom from nicotine, but you can choose it.
You can hope you win the lottery, you can hope the train is on time, you can hope the waitress doesn't stick her thumb in your soup. You can even hope that you don't accidentally drop the soap in the jail shower and become Bubba the steroidal rapists new love interest. But you can't hope to quit. You have failed before you start with that thinking. You CAN quit or not quit, but there is no hope.
Try is Hope's buck toothed half retarded sexually ambigous twin sister. You can try a new flavor of edible underoos, you can try to run a marathon, you can even "try" to wiggle free from your prison paramour Bubba when he tells you to hold still "just for a second, just to see how it feels."
Try implies an attempt, and an attempt provides an opportunity for failure. Yoda once told me " Do or do not, there is no try" You have no option for failure. This is your life. Try is for games of chance, athletes and aspiring porn stars about to take 12 inches in the can. Try is not for quitters, try is for failures, because in this game you either win or die.
Truckerick posted something along the following lines which
speaks to the difference between try and do.The difference between success and fail.
"Once the warriors had been off loaded from their boats onto their enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would shout out their first orderÂ…"burn the boats!" The sight of burning boats removed any notion of retreat from their hearts and any thoughts of surrender from their boats being set to the torch. As the boats turned to ash and slipped quietly out of sight into the water, each man understood there was no turning back and the only way home was through victory."
Burn your boat and quit with resolve , no acceptable possibility but success.
Quit or don't. If you quit, it is unconditional. There is no just one, there is no reward chew, no I'm sad chew, no it's too hard, you quit and agree to ride the wave. It's like Bubba said , "there is really no half way, its either in or its out cupcake" Your either fully quit and take personal responsibility for your actions, or you don't and you ultimately relapse. But it's easier to blame UST then to blame ourselves. Its easier to lie that it can't be done, I'll quit tomorrow, I'm too addicted, its not the right time, I hope I can, I wish I can, I'm going to try. Screw hope ( not high school Hope you sicko, wtf is wrong with you?) I meant hoping to quit, and screw try as well, DO IT. It is easier than you think. Is it going to hurt a bit? probably, but pain is temporary and quit is forever as they say. Chicks dig scars, no guts no glory etc etc. Gather up your courage and get quit or stay quit, but for your own good don't hope and don't try.
The choice, ......and it is a choice, is yours. The responsibility of achieving success is yours as well, no one can cause your failure but you. No one, not even Bubba is going to sneak up behind you and jam a peach skoal suppository in your mouth.
That failure is by your hand alone.
P.S.
IF Bubba gets behind you Peach skoal is the least of your worries.
Stay quit suckers
sm
-
Once upon a highschool I knew a tank sized fattapotamus named "Hope" . She was a useless chewed bubblegum looking ginormous wad of girth that wore Salmon colored shorts which showed her questionably colored panties as she contorted and wobbled her elephant sized particulars up the rope in the gym. Like watching a steroidal jellyfish trying to screw a giant licorice whip.
I Hope I can quit, I hope this works, I hope, I hope , I hope.......... your a moron. I hope your paying attention.
Like the high school Hope O Saurus , hoping to quit is useless and won't get it done. When you say you "hope you can quit", you transfer the responsibility of quitting to some unicorn riding quit fairy and away from yourself. You might as well wish on a star that you'll be quit in the morning. "I wish I could quit? " of all the defeatest idiotic garbage " hope to quit" and "wish I could" are two tell tale signs of impending failure. Where is the responsibility for your own self control?
Nothing keeps you from quitting but you, and the lies you tell. Hope isn't for quitters
ITS A DECISION. You decided to quit? then quit Dammit. Choices have consequences and rewards. To quit means to face withdrawl, it requires the confrontation of triggers without using nicotine. It will not always be easy,but get over it. This is the price you pay to earn your freedom.Besides, what have you ever earned of value that was easy? ( Besides Bubba's undying love) . it won't always be hard either, so look forward to that. You learn to live life without a chemical addiction.The reward is bigger than High School Hope's ever expanding ass. Better relationships, your self respect, freedom, control, health, perhaps your very life. Maybe the next dip is the one that kills you?
You can't hope your way to freedom from nicotine, but you can choose it.
You can hope you win the lottery, you can hope the train is on time, you can hope the waitress doesn't stick her thumb in your soup. You can even hope that you don't accidentally drop the soap in the jail shower and become Bubba the steroidal rapists new love interest. But you can't hope to quit. You have failed before you start with that thinking. You CAN quit or not quit, but there is no hope.
Try is Hope's buck toothed half retarded sexually ambigous twin sister. You can try a new flavor of edible underoos, you can try to run a marathon, you can even "try" to wiggle free from your prison paramour Bubba when he tells you to hold still "just for a second, just to see how it feels."
Try implies an attempt, and an attempt provides an opportunity for failure. Yoda once told me " Do or do not, there is no try" You have no option for failure. This is your life. Try is for games of chance, athletes and aspiring porn stars about to take 12 inches in the can. Try is not for quitters, try is for failures, because in this game you either win or die.
Truckerick posted something along the following lines which
speaks to the difference between try and do.The difference between success and fail.
"Once the warriors had been off loaded from their boats onto their enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would shout out their first orderÂ…"burn the boats!" The sight of burning boats removed any notion of retreat from their hearts and any thoughts of surrender from their boats being set to the torch. As the boats turned to ash and slipped quietly out of sight into the water, each man understood there was no turning back and the only way home was through victory."
Burn your boat and quit with resolve , no acceptable possibility but success.
Quit or don't. If you quit, it is unconditional. There is no just one, there is no reward chew, no I'm sad chew, no it's too hard, you quit and agree to ride the wave. It's like Bubba said , "there is really no half way, its either in or its out cupcake" Your either fully quit and take personal responsibility for your actions, or you don't and you ultimately relapse. But it's easier to blame UST then to blame ourselves. Its easier to lie that it can't be done, I'll quit tomorrow, I'm too addicted, its not the right time, I hope I can, I wish I can, I'm going to try. Screw hope ( not high school Hope you sicko, wtf is wrong with you?) I meant hoping to quit, and screw try as well, DO IT. It is easier than you think. Is it going to hurt a bit? probably, but pain is temporary and quit is forever as they say. Chicks dig scars, no guts no glory etc etc. Gather up your courage and get quit or stay quit, but for your own good don't hope and don't try.
The choice, ......and it is a choice, is yours. The responsibility of achieving success is yours as well, no one can cause your failure but you. No one, not even Bubba is going to sneak up behind you and jam a peach skoal suppository in your mouth.
That failure is by your hand alone.
P.S.
IF Bubba gets behind you Peach skoal is the least of your worries.
Stay quit suckers
sm
If this doesn't belong in w.o.w., I don't know what does. Very nice work, sm.
-
Once upon a highschool I knew a tank sized fattapotamus named "Hope" . She was a useless chewed bubblegum looking ginormous wad of girth that wore Salmon colored shorts which showed her questionably colored panties as she contorted and wobbled her elephant sized particulars up the rope in the gym. Like watching a steroidal jellyfish trying to screw a giant licorice whip.
I Hope I can quit, I hope this works, I hope, I hope , I hope.......... your a moron. I hope your paying attention.
Like the high school Hope O Saurus , hoping to quit is useless and won't get it done. When you say you "hope you can quit", you transfer the responsibility of quitting to some unicorn riding quit fairy and away from yourself. You might as well wish on a star that you'll be quit in the morning. "I wish I could quit? " of all the defeatest idiotic garbage " hope to quit" and "wish I could" are two tell tale signs of impending failure. Where is the responsibility for your own self control?
Nothing keeps you from quitting but you, and the lies you tell. Hope isn't for quitters
ITS A DECISION. You decided to quit? then quit Dammit. Choices have consequences and rewards. To quit means to face withdrawl, it requires the confrontation of triggers without using nicotine. It will not always be easy,but get over it. This is the price you pay to earn your freedom.Besides, what have you ever earned of value that was easy? ( Besides Bubba's undying love) . it won't always be hard either, so look forward to that. You learn to live life without a chemical addiction.The reward is bigger than High School Hope's ever expanding ass. Better relationships, your self respect, freedom, control, health, perhaps your very life. Maybe the next dip is the one that kills you?
You can't hope your way to freedom from nicotine, but you can choose it.
You can hope you win the lottery, you can hope the train is on time, you can hope the waitress doesn't stick her thumb in your soup. You can even hope that you don't accidentally drop the soap in the jail shower and become Bubba the steroidal rapists new love interest. But you can't hope to quit. You have failed before you start with that thinking. You CAN quit or not quit, but there is no hope.
Try is Hope's buck toothed half retarded sexually ambigous twin sister. You can try a new flavor of edible underoos, you can try to run a marathon, you can even "try" to wiggle free from your prison paramour Bubba when he tells you to hold still "just for a second, just to see how it feels."
Try implies an attempt, and an attempt provides an opportunity for failure. Yoda once told me " Do or do not, there is no try" You have no option for failure. This is your life. Try is for games of chance, athletes and aspiring porn stars about to take 12 inches in the can. Try is not for quitters, try is for failures, because in this game you either win or die.
Truckerick posted something along the following lines which
speaks to the difference between try and do.The difference between success and fail.
 "Once the warriors had been off loaded from their boats onto their enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would shout out their first order…"burn the boats!" The sight of burning boats removed any notion of retreat from their hearts and any thoughts of surrender from their boats being set to the torch. As the boats turned to ash and slipped quietly out of sight into the water, each man understood there was no turning back and the only way home was through victory."
Burn your boat and quit with resolve , no acceptable possibility but success.
Quit or don't. If you quit, it is unconditional. There is no just one, there is no reward chew, no I'm sad chew, no it's too hard, you quit and agree to ride the wave. It's like Bubba said , "there is really no half way, its either in or its out cupcake" Your either fully quit and take personal responsibility for your actions, or you don't and you ultimately relapse. But it's easier to blame UST then to blame ourselves. Its easier to lie that it can't be done, I'll quit tomorrow, I'm too addicted, its not the right time, I hope I can, I wish I can, I'm going to try. Screw hope ( not high school Hope you sicko, wtf is wrong with you?) I meant hoping to quit, and screw try as well, DO IT. It is easier than you think. Is it going to hurt a bit? probably, but pain is temporary and quit is forever as they say. Chicks dig scars, no guts no glory etc etc. Gather up your courage and get quit or stay quit, but for your own good don't hope and don't try.
The choice, ......and it is a choice, is yours. The responsibility of achieving success is yours as well, no one can cause your failure but you. No one, not even Bubba is going to sneak up behind you and jam a peach skoal suppository in your mouth.
That failure is by your hand alone.
P.S.
IF Bubba gets behind you Peach skoal is the least of your worries.Â
Stay quit suckers
sm
If this doesn't belong in w.o.w., I don't know what does. Very nice work, sm.
Second the motion. Also, probably on a comedy page somewhere.
"Like watching a steroidal jellyfish trying to screw a giant licorice whip." 'crackup'
Another classic, sm. Thank you.
-
My dog is card carrying member of the Canine Society of Rat Bastards. If my wife and kids wouldn't Phone the tree hugging longhaired hippie society for saving asshole animals from "cruelty" I would sucker punch that ass licker right in his snout.
This snaggle toothed sack of drooling fat and poop must be the reincarnation of Attila the Hun and Elenor Roosevelt's secret love child........ only he's meaner, uglier and dumber. In the time it took me to write this my wooden headed cat humping keg with legs has pissed on my rose bush AND my four year old son, who apparently resembles a fire hydrant when he stands still. My now outraged red faced screaming son attempted to run into the house to voice his utter humiliation and displeasure at becoming Fido's portable piss pole. The dog, seeing a loud fleeing target goes into "play mode" . Captain lick a dick ( dog not son) charges my innocent piss covered, terror filled heir with what I am sure are bad intentions. I guess if I was still 3 feet tall ,and a evil black, alpo smelling, tornado of teeth and fur with a raging pink hard on, was chasing me I'd be scared as shit too. Fortunately for my lil guy he has been well schooled in the art of manly self defense when it comes to canine rape scenarios .
When my boy realizes that the child eating timber wolf that masquerades as his dog is about to pounce on him like a one titted gap toothed godzilla of a bridesmaid diving for a wedding bouquet, he takes evasive action. I wish I could say he snap kicked that poodle fucker in the grill, but sadly no, instead, he initiated the classic grade school duck and cover drill. The one they teach you in case a earth quake or a nuclear war interrupts 2nd period Spanish class. My boy, rather than fight this chomping hell hound of death decided to just lay back and think of England. I'm going to get him a concealed carry permit when he turns five, just to even the odds. Fortunately for the boy, Dog,is a certified coward and will only chase shit that runs so he does a fly by instead. I swear I heard him laugh , like a hyena that chain smokes but sarcastic....and more dick like.
He's fat too, I can't figure out what in the hell he eats. I barely feed him. I have long sought to starve his flea bitten ass to death, or at least keep him weaker than a third string semi-pro French badmitton player with a lisp. But no dice, that prick should have Caterpillar or John Deere stamped on him, he is either secretly doing the P-90x with the neighbors Rottweiler or he's eating local kids that stray from their yards. If he get any fatter I'll have to start referring to him in the plural tense.
Because I like that dirt pig about as much as getting my junk caught in my zipper, I leave him outside at night. My hope was the huge pack of snarling coyotes that lurk outside, would make a quick snack out of his snausage farting ass. I figured this would kill two birds with one fat Lab. The dog would be neatly disposed of,with zero evidence. I could safely claim "accident" and as a bonus, the coyotes would surely die of food poisoning or at least get high cholesterol. I can't imagine that anything that ate an animal that smells like my dog could possibly survive the experience. He smells like a goat covered in hot week old garbage, that burps bad sushi downwind of a slaughter house, inside the discount gynecologist office after the AC went out. I haven't heard or seen a coyote for months, not since he first was banished to sleep in the yard. I think he fucked, ate or pissed on the whole damn lot of em and has now become their king.This is worrisome.
This is my dogs entire philosophy on life, you Fuck it, eat it, or piss on it. The order of this operation is suprisingly not important to him, and accomplishing one does not exclude performing another on the same item. I guess he feels that if you piss on something it's yours. If its yours you should be free to fuck it and if said item turns out to be a sub par fuck then you might as well just eat the damn thing. Of course if you fuck it first or eat it first then it also belongs to you. I initially gave him credit, it's a good system I thought.However,it turns out, this does NOT apply to your wife or girlfriend. Fucking furry bastard wouldn't even admit he came up with it. Just wagged his stumpy tail and bit his lip to hide the smile. Keep in mind that if you're not my rat bastard dog, the order you choose to perform fuck it ,eat it, or piss on it , is HUGELY IMPORTANT and based on the girl or object involved you may choose to edit various combinations.
My dog is a selfish motherfucker, he gets away with everything.
If my dog was a person he'd be a creepy grossly obese pedohile carnival worker. He'd probably have a giant hairy gut that hung over the waistband of his polyester slacks and stuck out below his pit stained once white t-shirt that reads SEX
MACHINE on it. He'd try to screw your mom, your sister or your brother, but not in any particular order , and he'd be into golden showers, but he would never ask first. He'd have bad teeth and a pencil thin mustache full of yesterdays corn dog and some pubes from the bearded lady in the next booth over. Such is my dog.
I remember watching Lassie as a kid. Lassie would save your ass if you fell in a well. She would bark and shit or bring you a rope. She'd even hold the other end so you could pull yourself up. Lassie was a real dog. A dog every boy should have. If I fell into a well and broke my leg, my mutt wouldn't lift a hind leg to piss on me. He'd squat and try to drown me while he laughed that fucked up hyena laugh of his.He'd be thinking "this is what you get for starving me and trying to feed me to the coyote's. after I finish pissing on you I'm going to be either hungry or horny, maybe both."
My dog is a dick
-
you are a bad ass descriptive writer. you could write a book. are you able to come up with this on the fly? if so i want to see youtube standup of it!
benny
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Nah, I mostly just like to hear myself talk. Also i like Scotch
-
My dog is card carrying member of the Canine Society of Rat Bastards. If my wife and kids wouldn't Phone the tree hugging longhaired hippie society for saving asshole animals from "cruelty" I would sucker punch that ass licker right in his snout.
This snaggle toothed sack of drooling fat and poop must be the reincarnation of Attila the Hun and Elenor Roosevelt's secret love child........ only he's meaner, uglier and dumber. In the time it took me to write this my wooden headed cat humping keg with legs has pissed on my rose bush AND my four year old son, who apparently resembles a fire hydrant when he stands still. My now outraged red faced screaming son attempted to run into the house to voice his utter humiliation and displeasure at becoming Fido's portable piss pole. The dog, seeing a loud fleeing target goes into "play mode" . Captain lick a dick ( dog not son) charges my innocent piss covered, terror filled heir with what I am sure are bad intentions. I guess if I was still 3 feet tall ,and a evil black, alpo smelling, tornado of teeth and fur with a raging pink hard on, was chasing me I'd be scared as shit too. Fortunately for my lil guy he has been well schooled in the art of manly self defense when it comes to canine rape scenarios .
When my boy realizes that the child eating timber wolf that masquerades as his dog is about to pounce on him like a one titted gap toothed godzilla of a bridesmaid diving for a wedding bouquet, he takes evasive action. I wish I could say he snap kicked that poodle fucker in the grill, but sadly no, instead, he initiated the classic grade school duck and cover drill. The one they teach you in case a earth quake or a nuclear war interrupts 2nd period Spanish class. My boy, rather than fight this chomping hell hound of death decided to just lay back and think of England. I'm going to get him a concealed carry permit when he turns five, just to even the odds. Fortunately for the boy, Dog,is a certified coward and will only chase shit that runs so he does a fly by instead. I swear I heard him laugh , like a hyena that chain smokes but sarcastic....and more dick like.
 He's fat too, I can't figure out what in the hell he eats. I barely feed him. I have long sought to starve his flea bitten ass to death, or at least keep him weaker than a third string semi-pro French badmitton player with a lisp. But no dice, that prick should have Caterpillar or John Deere stamped on him, he is either secretly doing the P-90x with the neighbors Rottweiler or he's eating local kids that stray from their yards. If he get any fatter I'll have to start referring to him in the plural tense.
Because I like that dirt pig about as much as getting my junk caught in my zipper, I leave him outside at night. My hope was the huge pack of snarling coyotes that lurk outside, would make a quick snack out of his snausage farting ass. I figured this would kill two birds with one fat Lab. The dog would be neatly disposed of,with zero evidence. I could safely claim "accident"Â and as a bonus, the coyotes would surely die of food poisoning or at least get high cholesterol. I can't imagine that anything that ate an animal that smells like my dog could possibly survive the experience. He smells like a goat covered in hot week old garbage, that burps bad sushi downwind of a slaughter house, inside the discount gynecologist office after the AC went out. I haven't heard or seen a coyote for months, not since he first was banished to sleep in the yard. I think he fucked, ate or pissed on the whole damn lot of em and has now become their king.This is worrisome.Â
This is my dogs entire philosophy on life, you Fuck it, eat it, or piss on it. The order of this operation is suprisingly not important to him, and accomplishing one does not exclude performing another on the same item. I guess he feels that if you piss on something it's yours. If its yours you should be free to fuck it and if said item turns out to be a sub par fuck then you might as well just eat the damn thing. Of course if you fuck it first or eat it first then it also belongs to you. I initially gave him credit, it's a good system I thought.However,it turns out, this does NOT apply to your wife or girlfriend. Fucking furry bastard wouldn't even admit he came up with it. Just wagged his stumpy tail and bit his lip to hide the smile. Keep in mind that if you're not my rat bastard dog, the order you choose to perform fuck it ,eat it, or piss on it , is HUGELY IMPORTANT and based on the girl or object involved you may choose to edit various combinations.
My dog is a selfish motherfucker, he gets away with everything.
If my dog was a person he'd be a creepy grossly obese pedohile carnival worker. He'd probably have a giant hairy gut that hung over the waistband of his polyester slacks and stuck out below his pit stained once white t-shirt that reads SEX
MACHINE on it. He'd try to screw your mom, your sister or your brother, but not in any particular order , and he'd be into golden showers, but he would never ask first. He'd have bad teeth and a pencil thin mustache full of yesterdays corn dog and some pubes from the bearded lady in the next booth over. Such is my dog.
I remember watching Lassie as a kid. Lassie would save your ass if you fell in a well. She would bark and shit or bring you a rope. She'd even hold the other end so you could pull yourself up. Lassie was a real dog. A dog every boy should have. If I fell into a well and broke my leg, my mutt wouldn't lift a hind leg to piss on me. He'd squat and try to drown me while he laughed that fucked up hyena laugh of his.He'd be thinking "this is what you get for starving me and trying to feed me to the coyote's. after I finish pissing on you I'm going to be either hungry or horny, maybe both."
My dog is a dick
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' Classic, just like our (I mean by 14 YO's dog) who can't control his bladder in the house. Door frames are his fire hydrant. Nevermind that he was taken out to piss in the last 15 minutes. :angry:
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My dog is card carrying member of the Canine Society of Rat Bastards. If my wife and kids wouldn't Phone the tree hugging longhaired hippie society for saving asshole animals from "cruelty" I would sucker punch that ass licker right in his snout.
This snaggle toothed sack of drooling fat and poop must be the reincarnation of Attila the Hun and Elenor Roosevelt's secret love child........ only he's meaner, uglier and dumber. In the time it took me to write this my wooden headed cat humping keg with legs has pissed on my rose bush AND my four year old son, who apparently resembles a fire hydrant when he stands still. My now outraged red faced screaming son attempted to run into the house to voice his utter humiliation and displeasure at becoming Fido's portable piss pole. The dog, seeing a loud fleeing target goes into "play mode" . Captain lick a dick ( dog not son) charges my innocent piss covered, terror filled heir with what I am sure are bad intentions. I guess if I was still 3 feet tall ,and a evil black, alpo smelling, tornado of teeth and fur with a raging pink hard on, was chasing me I'd be scared as shit too. Fortunately for my lil guy he has been well schooled in the art of manly self defense when it comes to canine rape scenarios .
When my boy realizes that the child eating timber wolf that masquerades as his dog is about to pounce on him like a one titted gap toothed godzilla of a bridesmaid diving for a wedding bouquet, he takes evasive action. I wish I could say he snap kicked that poodle fucker in the grill, but sadly no, instead, he initiated the classic grade school duck and cover drill. The one they teach you in case a earth quake or a nuclear war interrupts 2nd period Spanish class. My boy, rather than fight this chomping hell hound of death decided to just lay back and think of England. I'm going to get him a concealed carry permit when he turns five, just to even the odds. Fortunately for the boy, Dog,is a certified coward and will only chase shit that runs so he does a fly by instead. I swear I heard him laugh , like a hyena that chain smokes but sarcastic....and more dick like.
 He's fat too, I can't figure out what in the hell he eats. I barely feed him. I have long sought to starve his flea bitten ass to death, or at least keep him weaker than a third string semi-pro French badmitton player with a lisp. But no dice, that prick should have Caterpillar or John Deere stamped on him, he is either secretly doing the P-90x with the neighbors Rottweiler or he's eating local kids that stray from their yards. If he get any fatter I'll have to start referring to him in the plural tense.
Because I like that dirt pig about as much as getting my junk caught in my zipper, I leave him outside at night. My hope was the huge pack of snarling coyotes that lurk outside, would make a quick snack out of his snausage farting ass. I figured this would kill two birds with one fat Lab. The dog would be neatly disposed of,with zero evidence. I could safely claim "accident"Â and as a bonus, the coyotes would surely die of food poisoning or at least get high cholesterol. I can't imagine that anything that ate an animal that smells like my dog could possibly survive the experience. He smells like a goat covered in hot week old garbage, that burps bad sushi downwind of a slaughter house, inside the discount gynecologist office after the AC went out. I haven't heard or seen a coyote for months, not since he first was banished to sleep in the yard. I think he fucked, ate or pissed on the whole damn lot of em and has now become their king.This is worrisome.Â
This is my dogs entire philosophy on life, you Fuck it, eat it, or piss on it. The order of this operation is suprisingly not important to him, and accomplishing one does not exclude performing another on the same item. I guess he feels that if you piss on something it's yours. If its yours you should be free to fuck it and if said item turns out to be a sub par fuck then you might as well just eat the damn thing. Of course if you fuck it first or eat it first then it also belongs to you. I initially gave him credit, it's a good system I thought.However,it turns out, this does NOT apply to your wife or girlfriend. Fucking furry bastard wouldn't even admit he came up with it. Just wagged his stumpy tail and bit his lip to hide the smile. Keep in mind that if you're not my rat bastard dog, the order you choose to perform fuck it ,eat it, or piss on it , is HUGELY IMPORTANT and based on the girl or object involved you may choose to edit various combinations.
My dog is a selfish motherfucker, he gets away with everything.
If my dog was a person he'd be a creepy grossly obese pedohile carnival worker. He'd probably have a giant hairy gut that hung over the waistband of his polyester slacks and stuck out below his pit stained once white t-shirt that reads SEX
MACHINE on it. He'd try to screw your mom, your sister or your brother, but not in any particular order , and he'd be into golden showers, but he would never ask first. He'd have bad teeth and a pencil thin mustache full of yesterdays corn dog and some pubes from the bearded lady in the next booth over. Such is my dog.
I remember watching Lassie as a kid. Lassie would save your ass if you fell in a well. She would bark and shit or bring you a rope. She'd even hold the other end so you could pull yourself up. Lassie was a real dog. A dog every boy should have. If I fell into a well and broke my leg, my mutt wouldn't lift a hind leg to piss on me. He'd squat and try to drown me while he laughed that fucked up hyena laugh of his.He'd be thinking "this is what you get for starving me and trying to feed me to the coyote's. after I finish pissing on you I'm going to be either hungry or horny, maybe both."
My dog is a dick
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' Classic, just like our (I mean by 14 YO's dog) who can't control his bladder in the house. Door frames are his fire hydrant. Nevermind that he was taken out to piss in the last 15 minutes. :angry:
You guys may want to look up on, bad boy belts (http://www.dog-breeds.net/dog_diaper_belly_band.htm), even terrible monster dogs don't like pissing on themselves.
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For your viewing pleasure...
Code: Select all (http://skoal-monster-t1896-s50.html#)
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I keep all of the Kern posts in this intro to remind me what the alternative is.No matter how remote the chance of cancer or dying, it isn't worth it. Not even at million to one would I risk doing this to my family. Stay the course fellas.
Hey Dad-
I have been thinking about you a lot. Lately I have been crying every night. I don't know why but I feel like the pain is getting worse. It has been 6 years already, but I swear I remember it like it was just yesterday. I remember mom waking me and nikki up in the morning saying it wasn't good. I remember Julie driving us to the hospital. I remember going to Walmart to get swim suits because we were going to go to john and shell's and run through the sprinkler, until Dave called my phone and told us to come quick. I remember coming to the hospital scared of what might come next. I wanted to run out to the car to get my CD that has the song "Dance with my father" that I really wanted you to hear. Right as we were going to get on the elevator grandma yelled to have everyone come back into the room, we all new it was bad. I remember running back into the room, throwing myself on top on you at the end of the bed yelling "DADDY, PLEASE DON'T GO", but then you did. Hearing you take your last breath, was like getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I remember laying there at the end of your bed crying and crying and crying, hoping and praying you were going to come back. I needed you, mom needed you, connor, alexa, and tori needed you. We needed you to be there for us, to cook me steak and tell me who I could and couldn't date, you needed to coach tori and connor's softball and baseball teams, you needed to watch alexa perform just ONE more time, mom needed your help to keep me out of trouble. It's not fair. It's not fair that such an amazing guy like you had to go. It's not fair that alexa, tori, and I will never get to have you walk us down the isle or have our father daughter dance, it's not fair that you will not get to see what a good pitcher connor is or see what an amazing guy he has become. it's not fair that Kenra will never get to hear your laugh or have you give her one of those amazing hugs you gave. Dad I miss you so much and want you hear to tell me everything will be okay.
Kenzi Kern
- Monday, July 19, 2010 9:03 PM CDT
When you go to college your dad should be there helping you carry all of the big things, giving you a big hug and as your pretending not to be scared to be on your own you should be there saying it will be okay kiddo, you can call when anytime. But your not. I am so mad that you are not here to watch all of us grow up and here for every waking moment. I wish you could be hear for us and give us that hug and call us kiddo or pumpkin. Well I miss you dad and love you so much!
Kenzi Kern
Saturday, September 4, 2010 10:58 AM CDT
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To friends unmet,
I bought a ticket to this ride long ago, maybe you did too. I was too young to understand the consequences, I was too young to care, I was invincible and I liked the buzz. What chance does a kid have against billions of dollars in advertising? I believed that dip was a crutch, that it somehow helped me, that it calmed me, that I could get thru any of life's roller coasters with a can at my side. I thought of it as a friend. It defined me.
I didn't realize how wrong I was.
Nicotine is not a crutch its a ball and chain. It never helped me, I only thought it did. It never helped you either. The relief we felt from chewing was a result of two things only.
First we were relieving the anxiety caused by withdrawl symptoms. Stress reduces the time nic stays in your blood stream, this causes withdrawl. So we crave a fix. When you recieve your dose of nic and eliminate the withdrawl symptoms you feel better. It NEVER HELPED THE PROBLEM, but we believed it did because we felt better, calmer, etc. Fact is, if you were not addicted to nicotine you could have handled the problem calmly and easily in the first place. The addiction made it harder.
Second, the act of taking a chew usually removed us physically or mentally from the problem. I generally preferred to stuff that crap in my mouth in private. I would walk away from fights, or simply give in so I could leave and have a dip. This was simple problem avoidance. But somehow my simple mind believed that it was the dip that was making me feel better. In reality I could have taken a walk, or mowed the lawn, or taken a drive and accomplished the same thing.
Play out that scenario daily for years on end and it gets burned into your mind. A dip will solve your problems. We tell the story over and over and over until we believe it as gospel. I lived the lie for 23 years. I never even learned how to handle conflict without it. Didn't even think I could.
I've seen 1,000 day quitters and day one quitters crumble under this lie. The mistaken belief that somehow a dip will help. I've seen quitters cave after a death in the family, a job loss, a car wreck, financial setbacks, failed marriages, all believing that a dip will help them handle the crisis. It doesn't. That's just a imaginary belief leftover from years of lying and addiction.
I have a friend I never met, she recently relapsed. Personal problems and emotional pain from lifes shit storms drove her back to the can. I asked her a simple question,
" didn't help did it?"
The response was....... "no"
the response is always no, if it helped cavers wouldn't try to quit again.
I have another friend I've yet to meet, quit for close to 2 years, and he is walking on the edge as well. Looking for a crutch, some way to soothe the hurt. He craves a dip, to help him get thru the rough patch. I've felt this way as well, I understand the power of the lie that dip is a crutch, a friend, a help. I know that it won't help and I suspect he does too, but because I believed it for so long, and reinforced it with every stressed out dip I still hold on to it in the part of me that will always be an addict.
After 651 days quit, I find this to be the most dangerous use rationalization for a long term quitter. The mistaken belief that nicotine is a emotional or physical crutch. Life sucks sometimes and I don't know much, but I know that a dip won't make it suck any less. The only thing that shit is good for is keeping you addicted to nicotine. Stay quit
sm
Read this
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp)
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To friends unmet,
I bought a ticket to this ride long ago, maybe you did too. I was too young to understand the consequences, I was too young to care, I was invincible and I liked the buzz. What chance does a kid have against billions of dollars in advertising? I believed that dip was a crutch, that it somehow helped me, that it calmed me, that I could get thru any of life's roller coasters with a can at my side. I thought of it as a friend. It defined me.
I didn't realize how wrong I was.
Nicotine is not a crutch its a ball and chain. It never helped me, I only thought it did. It never helped you either. The relief we felt from chewing was a result of two things only.
First we were relieving the anxiety caused by withdrawl symptoms. Stress reduces the time nic stays in your blood stream, this causes withdrawl. So we crave a fix. When you recieve your dose of nic and eliminate the withdrawl symptoms you feel better. It NEVER HELPED THE PROBLEM, but we believed it did because we felt better, calmer, etc. Fact is, if you were not addicted to nicotine you could have handled the problem calmly and easily in the first place. The addiction made it harder.
Second, the act of taking a chew usually removed us physically or mentally from the problem. I generally preferred to stuff that crap in my mouth in private. I would walk away from fights, or simply give in so I could leave and have a dip. This was simple problem avoidance. But somehow my simple mind believed that it was the dip that was making me feel better. In reality I could have taken a walk, or mowed the lawn, or taken a drive and accomplished the same thing.
Play out that scenario daily for years on end and it gets burned into your mind. A dip will solve your problems. We tell the story over and over and over until we believe it as gospel. I lived the lie for 23 years. I never even learned how to handle conflict without it. Didn't even think I could.
I've seen 1,000 day quitters and day one quitters crumble under this lie. The mistaken belief that somehow a dip will help. I've seen quitters cave after a death in the family, a job loss, a car wreck, financial setbacks, failed marriages, all believing that a dip will help them handle the crisis. It doesn't. That's just a imaginary belief leftover from years of lying and addiction.
I have a friend I never met, she recently relapsed. Personal problems and emotional pain from lifes shit storms drove her back to the can. I asked her a simple question,
" didn't help did it?"
The response was....... "no"
the response is always no, if it helped cavers wouldn't try to quit again.
I have another friend I've yet to meet, quit for close to 2 years, and he is walking on the edge as well. Looking for a crutch, some way to soothe the hurt. He craves a dip, to help him get thru the rough patch. I've felt this way as well, I understand the power of the lie that dip is a crutch, a friend, a help. I know that it won't help and I suspect he does too, but because I believed it for so long, and reinforced it with every stressed out dip I still hold on to it in the part of me that will always be an addict.
After 651 days quit, I find this to be the most dangerous use rationalization for a long term quitter. The mistaken belief that nicotine is a emotional or physical crutch. Life sucks sometimes and I don't know much, but I know that a dip won't make it suck any less. The only thing that shit is good for is keeping you addicted to nicotine. Stay quit
sm
Read this
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp)
The force is strong with SM. Listen to him, he speaks the undeniable truth.
-
You'd hold me close in your arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me
I miss you
I miss your smile
And i still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now,
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true the time is flying by too fast
I know your in a better place yeah
But i wish that I could see your face oh
I know where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me
Kenzi Kern - Sunday, September 5, 2010 10:56 PM CDT
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More Goo Stuff
CCMQUOTEÂ
Let me tell you what you fuckin' need to hear......
Nicotine is addictive and you are an addict. You are all a bunch of big boys (or girls) and know what the fuck "addicitive" means. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here and wouldn't be seeking any type of assitance from anything or anyone.
It also means you absolutely can't have just "one". If you could...you wouldn't be an addict. And anyone who comes on here and says...."blah, blah, blah, I thought I could handle it", may as well have just said...."I'm a super-retarded dumbfuck with the common sense of 2 year-old. Please get me my pacifier. I can't control my own life....so just smack me in the head with a shovel when you're done changing my diaper because I'm not using my brain anyway."
The day you post day 1, is the day you quit. Period. Using tobacco now falls in the category of things you do not do anymore. Ever. Never. Period.
Do you put your dick in a light socket? No.
Do you spread dog shit on a wiener bun and eat it. No.
Do you masterbate to a picture of your mom? No.
Do you use tobacco? No.
Get it? Got it? Fuck it. You're done with it. I hope your quit-fog is miserable and shitty and worth remembering. Good luck...and carry on.
ccm is in an ugly mood today...and is now talking like lOOt to himself....
I have to share something that I honestly haven't been able to even think about, much less write about but this may give some indication of the real grip that nicotine has on you....
As most know, My sister passed away two weeks ago today. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer before I quit and was one of the factors, along with the arrival of my twin children, that led to my quit. Kelly (my sister) and I discussed my quit many times and I tried and tried to get her to join me... I posted here in times of frustration when she was alone in her hospital room with a can of dip hidden in her pillow and a blood infection that had effect her so totally that she was no where near reality... but still needed that damn can!
In June we took a family vacation to Gatlinburg (her wish) and she told the family then that they had run out of realistic options for chemotherapy and she was asking permission from us to quit chemotherapy... at that point I stopped trying to get her to quit (this was also the first time she asked for info on this site and even visited chat I hear)... she thought of it as a "final feat" to accomplish.
The week before she passed, she went from walking, talking, fully aware thursday to bed ridden on morphine on the next tuesday ( i was spending Tuesdays and thursdays with her) ... in case you have never experienced being with someone on morphine.... it takes away most of reality and the person lives in some "other place" that can't be understood.... but in end stages of life your body begins to shut down "other than vital processes"
she continued to DEMAND that damn can of dip even when most of her body had shut down including not opening her eyes any longer, that hold that nicotine has on the body was coming through the max dosage of morphine and the shut down of many bodily processes.
It is for this reason that I am so proud of being 1,000 days away from that monster! What I saw her experience after fighting cancer for 4 years adds to it for sure but I never want to be the slave of anything like that again.
In NO WAY was 1,000 days a personal accomplishment.... maybe I/we could have said that at the 100 day mark... but as time goes by it becomes more and more of a group thing... I could not have even thought of this accomplishment without this group and the accountability that has kept me from "That one" dip to celebrate... 100 days, 1yr free, 2 yrs free, 1,000 days free... because without each and every one of you, I would be back to putting that shit in my face again. I now think, and have seen it proven time and time again, that anyone and everyone can make 100 days with a "nut check" and this site provides that... but the real strength of this site comes after you think you have made it and need the accountability of others to keep you on the straight and narrow.
That is why someone who participated in our group but played a background role for a long time decided he needed to step up and help this site when some of those that helped me along the way needed to step away for a while... to continue to make sure this is available for as many as when can appeal to, to finally KILL THE CAN!
Rutroh/ Rob
Dear Daddy
By: MOA
Dear Daddy-
I wish you could have been there today to see me in my Ballet Recital, I felt like a princess. But your addiction was too strong for you to deny.
I wish you were here to hold me and tell me there was no “Boogie man” under my bed. But you put your addiction first.
I wish you were here to teach me to drive a car. But tobacco would not let you.
I wish you could have seen my high school graduation today, I sure missed you. But you chose to continue to use tobacco over your family.
I wish you could have been here tonight and met my prom date, I think I am in love. But your resolve to quit dip was not strong enough.
I wish you were here to help me move into my dorm room at college, I think I will like it here. But you chose to continue to use tobacco.
I wish you could have been around to give me words of encouragement on my wedding day and walk me down the aisle, it would have meant the world to me. But you were not strong enough to put down snuff once and for all.
I wish you were here today to hold your first grandchild, you know he has your eyes. But tobacco was too important to you.
I wish you had never used tobacco daddy, my life would have been much happier.
I love you and miss you,
Your daughter
I am quit today and tomorrow....MOA
SmokeyGI come to this site because I don't want to forget that I am addicted to nicotine.
QUOTE (Greg5280 @ Feb 16, 2011, 12:54 pm)
Would I dip again ?
I have seen this question posted in different areas off and on and it gets me to thinking. Would I ever dip again knowing what I know now?
I have played different scenarios in my head during my quit, and thought would any of these be permissible to allow me to dip again? It is funny to me that I actually spent all this time thinking about this stuff, maybe I need another hobby. Below are some of the things that have passed through my mind on the subject.
1. The terminal illness – This is the one that has to be the easiest to answer right? If I get a terminal illness and was going to die anyway well why not add dipping back to the equation, I mean I am dying anyway so why not?
2. Some terrible tragedy – pick one. Life gives you many to choose from. For me the one that kept playing in my head was something to do with losing my family thus rendering my desire to remain quit or alive a null point. So pack one?
3. The end of the world - If I knew the end of the world was at hand would I run to the store and get a can. This one for me was some nuclear attack from N. Korea or something like that. I knew I had time before the end so why not run to the store and grab a can. Who would it hurt? It would all be over in an hour anyway.
There are others but I think you get the point, so letÂ’s get to the answer. Would I dip again knowing what I know now for any of the reasons listed above, or for any other reason?
Well my answer to that question today is different than it was at the beginning of my quit. I used to think if any of the above happened I would most certainly run to the store and buy a can. What possible difference could it make? I have fought long and hard and if the end was coming why not face it with a fatty? Today I will tell you there is no fucking way I would ever put a dip back in my face. Even if I knew I would die in an hour and could have one I would not do it.
I have learned far too much about tobacco/nicotine and the fuckers that produce/ sell it. How they researched their product and chemically enhanced it to make me/you more dependent on it. How they target our children and hope to hook them too. I have developed a seething hatred for everything their miserable fucking company/product represents.
They have poisoned my family members, me, you, and are looking for more lifelong addicts so they can add to their bottom line. They do not give a shit what their product does to your body or your family. They sell poison on a daily basis to millions and are thinking of creative ways to expand their client base.
Would I ever dip againÂ… FUCK NO !! I will set my money on fire before I give one more cent to those death dealers.
Newbies: Get over the illusion that you miss this shit, or need it, you do not. You did not like it, it was not fun, it did not help anything. You were addicted to a chemically enhanced super drug. Quit romanticizing it and look at it with open eyes. Develop a hatred for it, the people that make and sell it, and it will make it much easier for you to remain quit.Â
razd611
Monsters:
We all have monsters, some bigger than others, some pull and tear at us night and day, some stand in the back ground and remind us they are there only occasionally, some are as small as a toy soldier and others are as big as a ten story building.
Most of the time we take a monster that is the size of a toy soldier and turn it into that ten story building just because we donÂ’t get our way or have what we want.
Your quit is one of these monsters you will have to deal with. You have to decide if it will be that toy soldier or that ten story building.
We all have within us the ability to turn that monster away. We all have the inherent strength to succeed. That choice is yours and you have to be able to look within yourself and find whatever it is that will allow you to step out of the dark and walk away from that monster that controls you.
I have learned one thing through adversity that has finally allowed me to take that gargantuan sized monster and turn it into that toy soldier. I will never allow my monsters to rule my life again. I did it with this saying and if you want to be successful in this quit journey you need to apply it as well:
I will always be stronger than my monsters, even on my weakest day! Period, the end.
This post has been edited by razd611 on Feb 19, 2011, 11:07 am
NOLAQ
“This is going to suck until it doesn’t.”
Excerpt from PBkids Hof
This guyÂ’s walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he canÂ’t get out.
A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, Hey you! Can you help me out? The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole, and moves on.
Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, Father, IÂ’m down in this hole! Can you help me out? The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole, and moves on.
Then a friend walks by. Hey Joe, itÂ’s me, can you help me out? And the friend jumps in the hole! Our guy says Are you stupid? Now weÂ’re both down here! And the friend says, Yeah, but IÂ’ve been down here before, and I know the way out. -from The West Wing, "Noel"
My name is Jason Bland. I am 37 years old, married to my beautiful wife, Jennifer, and we have two wonderful daughters, Caroline (9) and Hannah (5). I am the head athletic trainer at Airline High School and I teach a sports medicine class at the Bossier Parish Technical School. Â
This is my story.Â
I used smokeless tobacco for about 16 years. I had quit on July 23, 2008 – for good! This is something that I am proud of because I quit on my own, no patches, and no prescriptions. I have never had any known health issues, and then in October of 2008, I noticed a growth on the left side of my tongue. It started out as a smooth, white challis, but started growing, bulging, and finally turned colors. I waited until January to see a doctor. (Hindsight being 20/20, this is probably the biggest mistake I have ever made). Early diagnosis is key in cancer survival and I waited 4 months to see a doctor all because I didnÂ’t want to ruin everyoneÂ’s Christmas.Â
Anyway, I went to my dentist first and he told me that I needed a surgeon to look at it. So, I went to see my friend Dr. Keith Christy for a biopsy. He called me several days later with the news, which was really no surprise to me because I could see the tumor on my tongue growing. He immediately set me an appointment with Dr. Cherie-Ann Nathan at Feist Weiller Cancer Center. She is the top surgical physician in northwest Louisiana in head and neck cancer. She gave us the official diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma stage 2 (see why you donÂ’t wait, I could have seen her when it was still stage 1). The surgery would involve removing the tumor and including a two inch margin around the tumor. Also, they would have to perform a partial neck dissection to remove the lymph nodes. It was much more involved than we had really expected, and still could possibly be more evasive depending on how much tissue they had to remove. Â
On March 16, 2009, I had surgery. Everything went as planned and I was back at work in about six weeks. Several weeks later it was determined that all the cancer had been removed and I did not need any other treatment. WE HAD BEATEN IT!!!!! We had a great summer: a trip to Disney, a trip with my dad and my girls to San Antonio to see Shamuu, and finally rounding it out with our annual family trip to the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Â
During July 2009, I started to notice swelling in my left cheek and throat area. We went back to see Dr. Nathan and she ran a PET scan. It showed that the cancer had returned and with vengeance. The tumor was so big that is had wrapped around my carotid artery and other nerves. It had even pushed my trachea over about 1 inch. Needless to say, they could not operate so I was referred to the Willis-Knighton Cancer Center to receive chemo and radiation treatment. We met with Dr. Sandy Katz first to talk about radiation. Radiation on the neck area produces the worst side effects of radiation compared any other spot on the body. It dries your saliva, burns the inside of your mouth like one big blister, and affects other things like the thyroid, sinuses, hearing, etcÂ…Â
Then we met with our oncologist, Dr. Chad Hargon, and he discussed the chemo part of the plan. The start date would be October 1, 2009. (This was very difficult for me, because it was the first time in the 12 years that I would miss a football game, since I had started working with Airline). Treatment would include 35 radiation treatments to both sides of the neck and throat area, with 3 treatments of Cisplatin, one of the strongest chemoÂ’s that is given. The chemo would be given as follows: one at the beginning, one in the middle, and one at the end.Â
I finished treatment on November 21, 2009 and by all signs the treatment worked, it had wiped out the tumor! Protocol is to wait about 4 months before patients are rescanned, (so that the radiation doesnÂ’t show up on the PET scan). Mean while I just never began to feel better.  During the week of Thanksgiving I spent about 11 days in the hospital and in January, 2010, I spent another 16 days. The decision was made to run a CT scan, and there they found that the cancer had metastasized to my lungs and on top of one rib. Now my cancer in considered a stage 4, because it has moved from the original sight of the head and neck. Â
Now we were in for another battle. On February 1st, we started a chemo regimen of Taxotere every 3 weeks and Eurbitux every week. I would do this for 12 weeks. After about 4 weeks during this treatment, I developed drop foot in the left foot. Dr. Hargon sent me for several scans to find the cause of the foot drop and what the CT showed was numerous new spots of tumors on my spine and ribs. One of the tumors was pushing on my spinal column causing the foot drop. I stopped chemo immediately and went through 10 radiation treatments to shrink that tumor. At this time we were referred by Dr. Hargon to M.D. Anderson in Houston. Â
We met with Dr. Merrill Kies, who is the top dog of Head Neck cancer at M.D. Anderson, and one of the top 10 in the nation. He referred us to his experimental team, headed by Dr. Sarina Piha-Paul, to devise a new treatment plan. In preparation to enter this study they ran CT scans of the chest/abdomen, head/neck as well as an MRI of my chest/abdomen. The head/neck CT scan showed a dime sized tumor resting on the bone behind each eye lying next to my brain and optic nerve.
As of this writing I am leaving for Houston to receive 10 radiation treatments on the new spots, before chemo can begin on May 11.Â
This is my story. There will be more battles to fight and win, but as of now, I am undefeated! I love each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your prayers, gifts, money, meals, cards, and whatever else was done that I am unaware. Â
I encourage each of you to support the American Cancer Society and all the great work that they do on a regular basis for Northwest Louisiana. Our local ACS office is able to provide so many programs FREE of charge to our community because of the funds raised by thoughtful businesses and individuals and like you. So get ready to pull on your Jeans, dust off those boots and grab your hats for the 3rd annual American Cancer SocietyÂ’s BaronÂ’s Ball! Â
Jason Bland
Jason Bland passed away peacefully in his sleep on Monday, June 7, 2010.
The 2010 BaronÂ’s Ball Committee expresses our deepest sympathy to the Bland family in their loss and asks that you partner with us and Jennifer Bland - his wife and Honorary Chairman of the event - at the 2010 BaronÂ’s Ball on Saturday, August 21, as we join together to raise funds to help find a cure for cancer.
LetÂ’s honor JasonÂ’s memory.Â…..
As addicts, we have the sisyphean task of quitting day by day.Â
"In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity. The word 'sisyphean' means 'endless and unavailing, as labor or a task.'" (from somewhere on the interwebs, Wiki, I think). I always say my job is a sisyphean task, but the quote above made me realize that it applies to addiction as well.
In order to be quit, we have to start pushing our boulder first thing every morning, just like ol' Sisyphus. For some tasks in our life, we're done after reaching the top of the hill each day. But our addict boulder inevitably rolls back down the hill at the end of each day. Since we will never be cured, we're confronted each day with the choice of battling the addiction (rolling our boulder) or giving up. If you've posted roll, and given your word, then the only choice you have for that day is to start pushing.
Even though we never make progress and the boulder winds up in the same place we started, there is some good news. Our daily push gets easier as we build our muscles by making ourselves accountable and requesting/accepting help and support from others.
Denny, sorry to hijack your intro thread with my random thoughts. Just remember that you're an addict, that what you're going through right now is worth the price and that you don't ever want to be that guy again. You know, the one who worried about when he'd be able to get his next fix from a can of chopped up weeds. I'm stronger than that tin. And so are you. Good to be quit with you.
GMan
Let me tell you a story about tomorrow....I have a friend who tomorrow will be meeting with an oncologist, a plastic surgeon and a radiologist to discuss his bleak future from tobacco induced cancer....that's his tomorrow...if you don't quit today, you run out of tomorrows before you know it....
So as I sit here two weeks past my second floor I am studying the irony of the faithful day in November that I quit.....I was driving my car and had just finished my last dip of Copenhagen. I looked over at my buddy Randy who was smoking away at his hand rolled Drum cigs like he always was....I told him I was not going to buy another can of dip. He looked at me like I was some sort of crazy lunatic ready to punch his mother. After he wiped that look off his face he chuckled and asked me why...I looked over and mumbled that I was sick of the shit and I knew deep down it would kill me, and I was ready to quit and if he wanted to live a full life he should too. He smirked and remarked on how long this would last, and he had never seen me without a dip in my face. He rolled another smoke and said "good luck with that".
Now over seven months later I am still quit and enjoying my freedom. Randy has not quit....he developed pain in his mouth about five months ago and had a tooth extracted. The pain did not stop with the pulling of the tooth...it increased. He visited the dentist several times and was finally referred to an oral surgeon. That oral surgeon told him that he may have cancer. That "may" have cancer has turned into stage four cancer of the tongue, jaw and throat...including a silver dollar sized tumor on his jaw and it has spread to several lymph nodes. On Friday he will have three inches of his jaw removed and most of his tongue....then radiation and chemo.
I quit, he did not. I gained freedom and he was given a 26% chance of living five years. I was given a new lease on life and he was given disfigurement and a possible death sentence. Stay quit.....it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.
This post has been edited by Capt Kylos on Jun 29, 2011, 10:02 am
Let me start this by saying please don't post your best wishes and sympathy; that's not why I'm sharing this. I'm hoping that my loss and my resolve to remain quit will inspire at least one person during a future trial.
My son, Henry, died in the womb in his 16th week. This was Saturday, March 16. We checked in to the ER with our 2 year old daughter, Hazel, at 6:00am and at 6:45 my wife went into labor. Of course, Henry couldn't survive at such a young age. Unfortunately, the ER staff never considered to give us time with our son. In fact, we didn't even know he was a "he" when they threw him in a yellow medical waste tub and rushed him away. We saw him, but they seemed uneasy even letting us look at our son. We had to send someone later to the lab to check on the sex. My only reasoning is that they were trying to protect us - or they were trying to protect our daughter, who I was distracting with medical gloves. Mom is crying under a bloody sheet, and Hazel is giggling, working to fit an oversized glove on my hand while wearing two gloves herself. Kids are amazing.
Anyways, we were later dismissed form the ER with nothing. No death certificate. The line is 20 weeks. After that is a stillbirth with a death certificate; before that is nothing. A "spontaneous abortion". No pictures. We hadn't even taken a picture of Shannon's belly yet. She had a bad feeling from the start. We were crushed. I went to the library on Sunday to write a final essay for my Master's program. I went back to work on Monday. I had told co-workers for the first time on Friday that we were pregnant. It took until Thursday for me to say anything. And only after another teacher approached me stating that he was worried about me - that I had a glaze in my eyes. I teared up, but didn't come out with it because 18 year old kids were around. Gotta keep it together at work. I told what happened through an e-mail. The people who gave me hugs and shared their own losses and hurt were great support.
That same day, Thursday, Shannon and I attended a grief support group for people who had lost young children. We were afraid that everyone would have lost fully developed infants and our loss would somehow be overshadowed. Far from it. The group leader had lost a child at 19 weeks. She spoke of her daughter as if she were real. She bought her gifts and had shared memories. We shared our experience. I was the only guy there. The other husbands would "never attend something like this". I broke down. Saying that I felt as if our son had been treated like medical waste. I referred to him out loud by name for the first time to anyone besides my wife - Henry. This was a major realization for me. I'm glad I'm not manly tough.
My wife is amazing. Mother of the year.
She sought out the social worker/counselor at the Hospital where Henry was born. The hospital had no plans to follow up with us. Without her love and strength, we would have no record of his existence. Early Friday afternoon, we met with this wonderful woman on the labor and delivery floor who comforted us and gave us a basket that parents would normally receive with the death of a child. She wrote down all of our hospital related concerns and contacted the department where Henry was resting (who botched the paperwork concerning the test that may have determined what went wrong). She offered up a smock that a local company of volunteers had stitched. She shared and later updated the ER length/weight measurements which were grossly inaccurate. She offered to take photos of him in the smock and take footprints. She made arrangements with a trusted funeral home for cremation. She arranged for us to have time with him alone beforehand.
That bonding happened yesterday. Our friends watched our daughter while we went to the funeral home. They had set a room up for us and had his body - taped securely in the ER bucket - wrapped in a blue blanket and smock in a basket. We wanted to see him. To spend time with him. We had to ask for a pair of scissors to cut through the tape. I held Henry. Dropped tears on him. Held him to my forehead. Told him we loved him. That he had a big sister. That he is part of our family. At 16 weeks development, dead for a week, he looked just like Hazel in profile. We told him we were sorry. After what seemed like 15 minutes, our hour was over. We wrapped him in a blanket that my wife sewed the night before. Hugged him for the last time.
Yesterday?
Today, I was steamrolled. It wasn't until noon until I was able to function like a human being. I mowed the lawn for the first time this Spring. I cooked cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries for my family. I hugged my wife and daughter. I played soccer with my friends. I wrote this post. Tomorrow we will receive his ashes to scatter at a place of our choosing.
You think chew will make it all better? You're wrong. Henry's father is stronger. Every chew is a slap in the face to yourself and the people you love. Be stronger.
For the first time, that word meant something to me. I wasn't "trying" to quit. Or trying to "be" quit. I was just fucking quit. Noun, verb, adjective, adverb quit. This is my quit. I quit. That's a quit look you have on your face. I'm quitly shitting.
It's all I was for many months. Just quit. I didn't have the strength to do or be more.
I got stronger, though. And then months became years. And here I am. A GOD. Just like you.
Because you're quit. -DeantheCoot
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777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
-
777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
Jackpot indeed. You hit freedom my friend.
-
777
                   Jackpot Bitches
                      'oh yeah'
Congrats, SM. 'party2'
-
Rocky posted one of my late night rambles, and I got a couple of PM's on it. As I was responding to Lochi , I laid out my own theory about where my mind is aton day 479 regarding use rationalizations. I think one key to success is really being able to identify your "inner addict" feeding you reasons why you should have a dip, smoke etc. In any case, here is my deal. The Words of wisdom link is below as reference.
index.php?showtopic=3416 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3416)
I just read your rationalization message in WORDS OF WISDOM section. Bro - You were speaking right to me this morning. I needed to read your words. I have been a mother fucker lately to my family and I have been questioning whether I am a better parent with or without the dip?Â
I keep forgetting that shit kills and I'm much better off alive (and a fucktard) then dead to my family. I know that much for sure.Â
Thanks for your help! And please continue posting your thoughts. You have a way with words!!
Lochi21 - Day 91
Glad it helps, sometimes all the drugs I do combine just right and I get a rational thought. ( Just kidding....kind of)
91 days is huge, but it's just a start. YOur going to have good and bad days. You WILL still make up reasons why you need to dip. At least I do. Funny thing is you'll recognize your own bs. I can actually laugh at myself now when I think " I'm really stressed out, maybe I should have a dip" it used to piss me off that I still thought like that, now, although annoying , its just lame. I don't know about the future but I think I may have that little whisper for a long time, maybe forever. I have decided that's ok. It is the price I have to pay because I started dipping in the first place. Kind of like a physical scar from some dumbass thing I did as a kid. Only this scar is a mental one .
The guys that cave after 100 or even 1,000 forget. They forget that they're addicts. They forget that the whisper is never going away. They forget how hard it was to get to 100 days clean. I am still getting better at catching myself rationalizing why I could or should dip again. Mostly because I watch the new guys saying the same stupid shit, only they believe it still. I think I win in the end, as long as I stay quit one day at a time, I'll keep healing.
I dipped for 8,000 plus days. My 479 kicks ass, but 8,000 days of dipping is a long time . It will take a bit to unlearn all that shit. It'll take a bit to learn who the hell I am without dip. Smokey once said "Bout time we start reclaiming control of other aspects of our lives and choices, eh? Hate to break it to you Octopussies, but this isn't just about quitting nicotine."
In my opinion it is also about letting go of an imaginary crutch and learning how to run without it, and Smoke is right about reclaiming control of our lives and choices. This is one of my favorite quotes, because it really puts the shit in perspective.
sm
This is relevant even today....wow
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777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
Way to go SM!
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777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
Way to go ya pussy! :P
Did you get that salmon colored thong for the wrestle mania?
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777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
Very Nice !!!
Thanks for all the help !!
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777
Jackpot Bitches
'oh yeah'
Sm,
You have a unique style that is effective. And wether you know it or not your words have saved my quit on multiple occasions.
You sir are one damn fine quitter. Congrats on the trip 7's. Quit is on automagic.
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777
                   Jackpot Bitches
                      'oh yeah'
Sm,
You have a unique style that is effective. And wether you know it or not your words have saved my quit on multiple occasions.
You sir are one damn fine quitter. Congrats on the trip 7's. Quit is on automagic.
Yep SM, dittos ........ reading and re-reading yours and other's old posts early in my quit was critical. Congrats!
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Waking up on the tile floor hurts when your 40. Picture the shower scenes of Elizibeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas or maybe the Crying Game. Yup, that was me this morning. A crumpled wreck of my former self.
Odd that I would find myself in such a lowly predicament when only yesterday I set the all time single day record for consuming Vodka Sodas. Vodka generally is good stuff for me, but apparently I have developed an allergy to the limes they add. After twenty to twenty five limes including the one from the tequila shot I began to spin like a top and act like a poo flinging zoo monkey. Damn lime allergy.
My jaw hurts because we decided that the best use of two Asian strippers is to give them a dollar so they will slap the living shit out of your buddy. I think we each spent 50 bucks playing Rock em Sock Em Asian G- String Robots.I don't think my head ever actually popped off, but I do have a loose tooth. I wonder how he explained the palm print on his face when he got home. Strippers love to slap the crap out of drunk guys with lots of singles. But as I was medically impaired due to my Lime reaction ........I think they took advantage of me.
The last time I was this hung over I was in High School. I walked in the front door with a pierced ear and a grin until my old man saw me. He looked at me and said
"only three things wear earrings. Pirates, Fags, and Women which one are you?"
The wrong answer which came out of my smart ass mouth was" ARGGGGGGGGG"
Having an earring pulled out of your ear hurts almost as much as being slapped 50 times by a stripper.
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poo flinging zoo monkey
:rolleyes:
Strippers love to slap the crap out of drunk guys
:o
but I do have a loose tooth
:wacko:
And I think if SWJ were around he would call you a pussy.
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Waking up on the tile floor hurts when your 40. Picture the shower scenes of Elizibeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas or maybe the Crying Game. Yup, that was me this morning. A crumpled wreck of my former self.
Odd that I would find myself in such a lowly predicament when only yesterday I set the all time single day record for consuming Vodka Sodas. Vodka generally is good stuff for me, but apparently I have developed an allergy to the limes they add. After twenty to twenty five limes including the one from the tequila shot I began to spin like a top and act like a poo flinging zoo monkey. Damn lime allergy.
My jaw hurts because we decided that the best use of two Asian strippers is to give them a dollar so they will slap the living shit out of your buddy. I think we each spent 50 bucks playing Rock em Sock Em Asian G- String Robots.I don't think my head ever actually popped off, but I do have a loose tooth. I wonder how he explained the palm print on his face when he got home. Strippers love to slap the crap out of drunk guys with lots of singles. But as I was medically impaired due to my Lime reaction ........I think they took advantage of me.
You sir may be over-thinking this whole ordeal...Is it possible that the Asian strippers (aware that you and said friends recently went to the bank to withdraw massive amounts of one dollar bills) did infact; put something in your innocent vodka concotion that left you a "wreck of my former self"? I submit to you sir that you are NOT getting older, nor are you LESS of a vodka drinking madman than you were in your twenties! It was instead those damn, loose, ill-intentioned, Asian temptresses! Not your fault at all sir!
MOA
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Waking up on the tile floor hurts when your 40. Picture the shower scenes of Elizibeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas or maybe the Crying Game. Yup, that was me this morning. A crumpled wreck of my former self.
Odd that I would find myself in such a lowly predicament when only yesterday I set the all time single day record for consuming Vodka Sodas. Vodka generally is good stuff for me, but apparently I have developed an allergy to the limes they add. After twenty to twenty five limes including the one from the tequila shot I began to spin like a top and act like a poo flinging zoo monkey. Damn lime allergy.
My jaw hurts because we decided that the best use of two Asian strippers is to give them a dollar so they will slap the living shit out of your buddy. I think we each spent 50 bucks playing Rock em Sock Em Asian G- String Robots.I don't think my head ever actually popped off, but I do have a loose tooth. I wonder how he explained the palm print on his face when he got home. Strippers love to slap the crap out of drunk guys with lots of singles. But as I was medically impaired due to my Lime reaction ........I think they took advantage of me.
The last time I was this hung over I was in High School. I walked in the front door with a pierced ear and a grin until my old man saw me. He looked at me and said
"only three things wear earrings. Pirates, Fags, and Women which one are you?"
The wrong answer which came out of my smart ass mouth was" ARGGGGGGGGG"
Having an earring pulled out of your ear hurts almost as much as being slapped 50 times by a stripper.
TIFFS 9.925 'crackup'
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Waking up on the tile floor hurts when your 40. Picture the shower scenes of Elizibeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas or maybe the Crying Game. Yup, that was me this morning. A crumpled wreck of my former self.
Odd that I would find myself in such a lowly predicament when only yesterday I set the all time single day record for consuming Vodka Sodas. Vodka generally is good stuff for me, but apparently I have developed an allergy to the limes they add. After twenty to twenty five limes including the one from the tequila shot I began to spin like a top and act like a poo flinging zoo monkey. Damn lime allergy.
My jaw hurts because we decided that the best use of two Asian strippers is to give them a dollar so they will slap the living shit out of your buddy. I think we each spent 50 bucks playing Rock em Sock Em Asian G- String Robots.I don't think my head ever actually popped off, but I do have a loose tooth. I wonder how he explained the palm print on his face when he got home. Strippers love to slap the crap out of drunk guys with lots of singles. But as I was medically impaired due to my Lime reaction ........I think they took advantage of me.
You sir may be over-thinking this whole ordeal...Is it possible that the Asian strippers (aware that you and said friends recently went to the bank to withdraw massive amounts of one dollar bills) did infact; put something in your innocent vodka concotion that left you a "wreck of my former self"? I submit to you sir that you are NOT getting older, nor are you LESS of a vodka drinking madman than you were in your twenties! It was instead those damn, loose, ill-intentioned, Asian temptresses! Not your fault at all sir!
MOA
What he said. 'poledancer' mag 'Sing and Drink' 'shots' Skoal Monster
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A fathers Day reminder
What price would you pay to keep your child from this kind of pain?? Is a little discomfort from quitting too much to ask? Is a little resolve to stay quit just for today too heavy a burden? What kind of father do you want to be? Addiction is a choice.
Dear Daddy
By: MOA
Dear Daddy-
I wish you could have been there today to see me in my Ballet Recital, I felt like a princess. But your addiction was too strong for you to deny.
I wish you were here to hold me and tell me there was no “Boogie man” under my bed. But you put your addiction first.
I wish you were here to teach me to drive a car. But tobacco would not let you.
I wish you could have seen my high school graduation today, I sure missed you. But you chose to continue to use tobacco over your family.
I wish you could have been here tonight and met my prom date, I think I am in love. But your resolve to quit dip was not strong enough.
I wish you were here to help me move into my dorm room at college, I think I will like it here. But you chose to continue to use tobacco.
I wish you could have been around to give me words of encouragement on my wedding day and walk me down the aisle, it would have meant the world to me. But you were not strong enough to put down snuff once and for all.
I wish you were here today to hold your first grandchild, you know he has your eyes. But tobacco was too important to you.
I wish you had never used tobacco daddy, my life would have been much happier.
I love you and miss you,
Your daughter
I am quit today and tomorrow....MOA
Think Dipping only hurts you???? Posts by Tom Kerns daughterHappy Father's Day dad!! I love you and miss you so much. You would have been so proud of Connor today he pitched a good game, and Tori has a good tournament yesterday too, but I know you were there in spirit! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenzi Kern
Hutch, MN - Sunday, June 21, 2009 8:29 PM CDT
Hey Dad-
I have been thinking about you a lot. Lately I have been crying every night. I don't know why but I feel like the pain is getting worse. It has been 6 years already, but I swear I remember it like it was just yesterday. I remember mom waking me and nikki up in the morning saying it wasn't good. I remember Julie driving us to the hospital. I remember going to Walmart to get swim suits because we were going to go to john and shell's and run through the sprinkler, until Dave called my phone and told us to come quick. I remember coming to the hospital scared of what might come next. I wanted to run out to the car to get my CD that has the song "Dance with my father" that I really wanted you to hear. Right as we were going to get on the elevator grandma yelled to have everyone come back into the room, we all new it was bad. I remember running back into the room, throwing myself on top on you at the end of the bed yelling "DADDY, PLEASE DON'T GO", but then you did. Hearing you take your last breath, was like getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I remember laying there at the end of your bed crying and crying and crying, hoping and praying you were going to come back. I needed you, mom needed you, connor, alexa, and tori needed you. We needed you to be there for us, to cook me steak and tell me who I could and couldn't date, you needed to coach tori and connor's softball and baseball teams, you needed to watch alexa perform just ONE more time, mom needed your help to keep me out of trouble. It's not fair. It's not fair that such an amazing guy like you had to go. It's not fair that alexa, tori, and I will never get to have you walk us down the isle or have our father daughter dance, it's not fair that you will not get to see what a good pitcher connor is or see what an amazing guy he has become. it's not fair that Kenra will never get to hear your laugh or have you give her one of those amazing hugs you gave. Dad I miss you so much and want you hear to tell me everything will be okay.
Kenzi Kern
- Monday, July 19, 2010 9:03 PM CDTÂ
QUOTEÂ
When you go to college your dad should be there helping you carry all of the big things, giving you a big hug and as your pretending not to be scared to be on your own you should be there saying it will be okay kiddo, you can call when anytime. But your not. I am so mad that you are not here to watch all of us grow up and here for every waking moment. I wish you could be hear for us and give us that hug and call us kiddo or pumpkin. Well I miss you dad and love you so much!
Kenzi Kern
Saturday, September 4, 2010 10:58 AM CDTÂ
Jason Bland Story - Another family torn apart by Tobacco
http://www.powerthecure.org/index.html (http://www.powerthecure.org/index.html)
My husband Jason was diagnosed in January 2009 with tongue cancer at age 36. We have two daughters, at the time ages 10 and 5. Jason passed away on June 7, 2010, after a long and courageous, 18-month battle. I became involved in every aspect of Jason’s treatment and spent many hours doing research. One very disturbing fact I found was that the statistics in oral cancers have not changed much over the years. This is a travesty to me; the research in oral cancers has not furthered itself like it has in so many other cancers.
Since 2009 I have helped sponsor many fundraisers in JasonÂ’s name to raise money for head and neck cancer research, as well as help to bring awareness about the importance of early detection and educating the public about the dangers of tobacco use.
A lesson from a parent dying of lung cancer, Who taught her son to quit
"I have terminal lung cancer. I am going to die within two months. I am here to quit smoking. I want to make it clear that I am not kidding myself into thinking that if I quit I will save my life. It is too late for me. I am going to die and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. But I am going to quit smoking."
"You may wonder why I am quitting if I am going to die anyway. Well, I have my reasons. When my children were small, they always pestered me about my smoking. I told them over and over to leave me alone, that I wanted to stop but couldn't. I said it so often they stopped begging. But now my children are in their twenties and thirties, and two of them smoke. When I found out about my cancer, I begged them to stop. They replied to me, with pained expressions on their faces, that they want to stop but they can't."
"I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I am off two days now, and I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
"I enrolled in the clinic to pick up any tips that would make quitting a little easier and because I was real curious about how people who really were taught the dangers of smoking would react. If I knew then what I know now- well, anyway, I have sat and listened to all of you closely. I feel for each and every one of you and I pray you all make it. Even though I haven't said a word to anyone, I feel close to all of you. Your sharing has helped me. As I said, I wasn't going to talk. But today I have to. Let me tell you why."
She turned to the two ladies in the back, who Joel recalls had listened to her every word. "The only reason I am speaking up now is because you two BITCHES are driving me crazy. You are partying in the back while everyone else is sharing with each other, trying to help save each other's lives." She told them about the young woman whose brother was killed and how they laughed, totally unaware of her loss.
"Will you both do me a favor, just get the hell out of here! Go out and smoke, drop dead for all we care, you are learning and contributing nothing here." Joel recalls they sat stunned. He had to calm the group as things had become "quite charged." Needless to say, writes Joel, "that was the last of the gabbing from the back of the room for the entire two-week clinic."
All present that night were successful in remaining nicotine-free. The two ladies who had earlier talked only to each other were applauded by all during graduation, even by the lady with lung cancer. "All was forgiven," recalls Joel. The lady who'd lost her brother was also present, nicotine-free and proud.
"And the lady with lung cancer proudly accepted her diploma and introduced one of her children. He had stopped smoking for over a week at that time. Actually, when the lady with cancer was sharing her story with us, she had not told her family yet that she had even quit smoking," wrote Joel. Six weeks later his mother was dead.
When Joel called to see how she was doing her son answered. He thanked Joel for helping her quit at the end and told him how proud she was and how proud he was of her. "She never went back to smoking, and I will not either," he said.
She'd taught her children a falsehood and as her final lesson sought to set the record straight. It wasn't that she couldn't quit but that she wouldn't. I too was once convinced "I couldn't" but it was a lie. It was a lie sold to me by a mind taken hostage by nicotine, a captive mind that had me believing that my next fix was more important than life itself.
Exerpts from a free pdf book by Polito JR entitled
"Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home"
Copyright 2008 John R. Polito
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Bump, because you need to read this thread. Just that simple.
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Bump, because you need to read this thread. Just that simple.
Darn, saw this back at the top and thought SM was back :(
But you are right...required reading.
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To friends unmet,
I bought a ticket to this ride long ago, maybe you did too. I was too young to understand the consequences, I was too young to care, I was invincible and I liked the buzz. What chance does a kid have against billions of dollars in advertising? I believed that dip was a crutch, that it somehow helped me, that it calmed me, that I could get thru any of life's roller coasters with a can at my side. I thought of it as a friend. It defined me.
I didn't realize how wrong I was.
Nicotine is not a crutch its a ball and chain. It never helped me, I only thought it did. It never helped you either. The relief we felt from chewing was a result of two things only.
First we were relieving the anxiety caused by withdrawl symptoms. Stress reduces the time nic stays in your blood stream, this causes withdrawl. So we crave a fix. When you recieve your dose of nic and eliminate the withdrawl symptoms you feel better. It NEVER HELPED THE PROBLEM, but we believed it did because we felt better, calmer, etc. Fact is, if you were not addicted to nicotine you could have handled the problem calmly and easily in the first place. The addiction made it harder.
Second, the act of taking a chew usually removed us physically or mentally from the problem. I generally preferred to stuff that crap in my mouth in private. I would walk away from fights, or simply give in so I could leave and have a dip. This was simple problem avoidance. But somehow my simple mind believed that it was the dip that was making me feel better. In reality I could have taken a walk, or mowed the lawn, or taken a drive and accomplished the same thing.
Play out that scenario daily for years on end and it gets burned into your mind. A dip will solve your problems. We tell the story over and over and over until we believe it as gospel. I lived the lie for 23 years. I never even learned how to handle conflict without it. Didn't even think I could.
I've seen 1,000 day quitters and day one quitters crumble under this lie. The mistaken belief that somehow a dip will help. I've seen quitters cave after a death in the family, a job loss, a car wreck, financial setbacks, failed marriages, all believing that a dip will help them handle the crisis. It doesn't. That's just a imaginary belief leftover from years of lying and addiction.
I have a friend I never met, she recently relapsed. Personal problems and emotional pain from lifes shit storms drove her back to the can. I asked her a simple question,
" didn't help did it?"
The response was....... "no"
the response is always no, if it helped cavers wouldn't try to quit again.
I have another friend I've yet to meet, quit for close to 2 years, and he is walking on the edge as well. Looking for a crutch, some way to soothe the hurt. He craves a dip, to help him get thru the rough patch. I've felt this way as well, I understand the power of the lie that dip is a crutch, a friend, a help. I know that it won't help and I suspect he does too, but because I believed it for so long, and reinforced it with every stressed out dip I still hold on to it in the part of me that will always be an addict.
After 651 days quit, I find this to be the most dangerous use rationalization for a long term quitter. The mistaken belief that nicotine is a emotional or physical crutch. Life sucks sometimes and I don't know much, but I know that a dip won't make it suck any less. The only thing that shit is good for is keeping you addicted to nicotine. Stay quit
sm
Read this
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/stress.asp)
BUMP
Feeling this today. Thanks SM.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
I sent an email to try and touch base.........................
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
Text sent.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
Text sent.
He just said he'd stop by. SM...what say you get back in the groove of a regular post? LOOt will post for you if you'd prefer to text.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
Text sent.
He just said he'd stop by. SM...what say you get back in the groove of a regular post? LOOt will post for you if you'd prefer to text.
Just got a text back as well with the same. Go's double for me brudda ^^^^^^^.
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Witnessing the return of SWJ, I couldn't help but wonder what the heck ever happened to Skoal Monster. If anybody knows, please send me a PM.
It's been a couple months since we were in touch, but he is still clean. His wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. No excuse...but the one he's using. Will check in again soon.
Text sent.
He just said he'd stop by. SM...what say you get back in the groove of a regular post? LOOt will post for you if you'd prefer to text.
Just got a text back as well with the same. Go's double for me brudda ^^^^^^^.
I will offer my services as well.
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You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
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Mr. SKOAL MONSTER,
Thank you Sir for this!
You just strengthened my quit and it is very much appreciated!
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You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
I love this.
-
You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
Great stuff!
These are the posts that truly get me over the tough spots and to some extent keep the craves at bay.....
I will continue to read these incredible rants and random thoughts that you write they are inspirational!
-
You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.Â
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart   Â
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
Great stuff!
These are the posts that truly get me over the tough spots and to some extent keep the craves at bay.....
I will continue to read these incredible rants and random thoughts that you write they are inspirational!
Just a word of thanks to SM for the important help he gave me at the beginning of my Quit.
Nice to see you active again!!!
-
You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.Â
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey  trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart   Â
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
Great stuff!
These are the posts that truly get me over the tough spots and to some extent keep the craves at bay.....
I will continue to read these incredible rants and random thoughts that you write they are inspirational!
Just a word of thanks to SM for the important help he gave me at the beginning of my Quit.
Nice to see you active again!!!
Nah guys, come on...
Skoalie is nothing but an asshole!!!
... wait for it...
But one of the toughest damn assholes I have the pleasure to be quit with.
Good seeing some new posts from you brother.
-
You fuckers are relentless, like a fat ex girlfriend who keeps drunk dialing me at 3am. I love it, and thanks to all of those in contact with me for caring about my worthless ass. Too many of you to name. But thanks.
Names on the board are different but the stories are the same. I forgot I was an addict, I stopped posting and then...... It just happened.Â
I can't decide if it is stupid or sad or maybe both.
If you quit and started again you're dumber than a drunken howler monkey  trying to fuck a rabid porcupine with a "good personality" . You also were never truly quit to begin with.
If you built a quit out of blocks there would be a block on the bottom that was all about admitting that you are a sniveling, sneaky, lying, full on crack whore of an addict. You don't have a habit, or a vice , or a guilty pleasure, you my disbelieving friend have an ADDICTION. It is bigger than you, and it's forever.
Until you totally absorb the truth that " YOU ARE A JUNKY" and that your literally no different than a heroin addict, your quit will have a weakness. Willpower alone can get you a 100 day vacation from dipping, but thats not a quit.You can build a house without a foundation, but it won't stand the test of time.
3 1/2 years and all of my rants can be summarized below, it really is this simple, and if I can do it then anybody can.
Quit is a state of mind. A decision. Make it, and then live with it
Quit is pure acceptance that you are an addict, there will NEVER be a time when you are NOT an addict
Quit is the realization that chewing doesn't help........ever. Anything you tell yourself opposite this is a lie.
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Quit is the knowledge that nicotine doesn't reduce stress, or heal a broken heart   Â
Quit is a decision and it's final. Come hell or high water it's final.
Quit must be truthful, don't "ninja quit" your leaving an out. Tell your spouse, your kids and everyone you know. Create personal accountability.
Quit requires a life time of vigilance, if you forget you're a junky you'll fail.
Quit is sometimes one minute at a time, sometimes one day at a time. sometimes one moment.
Quit must be a priority, in the beginning it takes precedence over all things. Your job, your spouse, your kids. They win in the end, but right now quit comes first.
Quit has a price to be paid,get over it. It won't kill you, despite what it feels like in the beginning.
Quit is for you and you alone, no one can choose it for you. You can't do it for anyone but yourself.
Quit requires a plan. Think thru your triggers in advance, then be ready for the ones you forgot to plan for.
Quit takes time, there is more to it than to simply stop using nicotine. You'll need to re-learn some of your life. It'll be ok, give yourself permission to take that time.
Quit is worth it. All of it.
This addiction will kill you,it will harm your relationships, it'll damage your body and steal you from those who love you. It robs you of your life. It makes you lie, it makes you a slave. It is selfish and cowardly, it is suicide on the installment plan.
You deserve better than this.
This board can work for you like it did for me. The old guard that pointed the way for me is still here for you. All the tools are here for you to build your quit. You just have to take the time to learn them. Roll call, reading everything you can find. Reaching out. Learn about nicotine and how it actually physically effects you, learn about being an addict. Listen to the vets. Save your life, it's not as hard as you think. There is no shame in posting roll or using support to quit, it isn't weakness, it's strength. Your odds of success are much stronger here, your among your own kind of sneaky lying nicotine addled junkies. We know what your feeling, because we've been there.
And if you happen to be a hungover howler monkey with a dick full of porcupine quills, take the time to find the piece you missed before, it is here, even if you post until your 101.
sM
Great stuff!
These are the posts that truly get me over the tough spots and to some extent keep the craves at bay.....
I will continue to read these incredible rants and random thoughts that you write they are inspirational!
Just a word of thanks to SM for the important help he gave me at the beginning of my Quit.
Nice to see you active again!!!
Nah guys, come on...
Skoalie is nothing but an asshole!!!
... wait for it...
But one of the toughest damn assholes I have the pleasure to be quit with.
Good seeing some new posts from you brother.
This is one of those reads on KTC I'm glad I came across. Good Stuff!!!!!
-
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Â
Wow this was all good, but when I read this one....I just sat with a dumb "a ha" look on my face.
I am so glad that the clouds of deception have been lifted. I can see thru the lies now. It's like I'm a kid every day that loves to go exploring and discover facts, ultimately truth.
The evil creature doesn't fill a void, it creates it. That was poetry to me. Really built me back up. I have so many triggers today. I thank you for sharing your armor to fight the evil creature.
I have one to add now....
Quit is understanding that chew is just like a parasite. If you don't kill it, it can ultimately kill you.
-
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Â
Wow this was all good, but when I read this one....I just sat with a dumb "a ha" look on my face.
I am so glad that the clouds of deception have been lifted. I can see thru the lies now. It's like I'm a kid every day that loves to go exploring and discover facts, ultimately truth.
The evil creature doesn't fill a void, it creates it. That was poetry to me. Really built me back up. I have so many triggers today. I thank you for sharing your armor to fight the evil creature.
I have one to add now....
Quit is understanding that chew is just like a parasite. If you don't kill it, it can ultimately kill you.
And thats a fine addition, mthomas.
-
Quit is the understanding that chew only fixes the problems it created in the first place. It doesn't fill the void, it creates it.
Â
Wow this was all good, but when I read this one....I just sat with a dumb "a ha" look on my face.
I am so glad that the clouds of deception have been lifted. I can see thru the lies now. It's like I'm a kid every day that loves to go exploring and discover facts, ultimately truth.
The evil creature doesn't fill a void, it creates it. That was poetry to me. Really built me back up. I have so many triggers today. I thank you for sharing your armor to fight the evil creature.
I have one to add now....
Quit is understanding that chew is just like a parasite. If you don't kill it, it can ultimately kill you.
And thats a fine addition, mthomas.
I don't know where this quote came from but it did not come from me (though I wish it had). I just read the whole intro of Skoal Monster from the beginning. The stories quoted in there would enhance any quit and will help me in mine.
-
I freakin love this post and it was the foundation of my own quit. I'm just gonna leave it here
What Price to Save Ourselves?
by Spongebob
For over 2 decades, my best quit efforts lasted maybe 10 or so days. Finally, asking myself the right question changed my attitude and made it possible to quit. This quit is not easy, but it is finally in MY CONTROL and (I firmly believe) FINAL.
Previously, I always asked "how can I find the strength to break this addiction? In particular, how can I get through the crushing brain fog that always leads to my demise. I can't stay quit or start quitting right now because I get too brain-stupid to get any work done." THAT QUESTION ALWAYS LED ME TO FAIL because (a) it gave me the choice to fail, and (B) it said I had other priorities that I would allow to interfere with quitting.
This time, I asked myself a different question. "IS THERE ANYTHING I WILL NOT DO IN ORDER TO QUIT? IS ANY COST TOO HIGH?" Since nobody was asking me to give up my family, I decided the answer was "NO." I therefore decided that I WILL INCUR ANY COST WHATSOEVER TO QUIT. If I must, I will use up all my vacation time to get away from the office until the fog lifts. If I have no vacation time left, I'll call in sick (and I consider addiction withdrawal to be honestly sick). If I run out of vacation/sick time, I'll ask for unpaid leave until my head clears up and while I practice handling fewer stresses without opening a tin. If I can't get unpaid leave, I'll let that job go (and go find a new job AFTER I SAVED MY LIFE). If I can't afford being on unpaid leave or unemployment, I will swallow my pride and ask for help from family friends, and I will sell my stupid car/house/stereo while I SAVE MY LIFE.
WOW, once I decided that NO COST WAS TOO HIGH TO SAVE MY LIFE, and that I would GLADLY INCUR THOSE COSTS, my whole mental attitude changed. No longer were there any impediments to quitting. Once that was my attitude, quitting was easier than I had experienced in prior efforts. I did have to cut back on my office time (and incur some temporary pay reduction), but nothing drastic. And in the long run, who gives a damn?
See, the real barrier wasn't quitting tobacco -- the real barrier had been what I had not CONSIDERED doing, or had not been WILLING to do, in order to make quitting the absolute #1 priority.
Another example: does quitting make being around the house unbearable? Negotiate leaving for 2 weeks!!! "Honey, I need these 2 weeks in order to give you the rest of my life. This isn't a vacation, this is the old 'stick with me in sickness and in health thing.' It's unfair to leave you with the kids, but I will make it up to you, and you will like the new me much better, and I won't go and get cancer on you.")
I came to this "At What Price" attitude after my wife died. She had been given a terminal diagnosis from hell with no hope whatsoever (Lou Gehrig's Disease). We had wished there was something/anything we could do, but there was not. And she had done nothing to deserve it (no smokes, barely drank, exercised regularly, young).
Now here I was, 14 months after she passed away, giving myself my own terminal sentence. But this was a sentence I had the power to stop. My wife had been denied any such power. So, every time I CHOSE to fill my lip, I insulted the memory of my wife. My wife and I would have paid ANY PRICE to save her: sacrificing job, house, friends, etc.
Once I asked "What Price" to save myself, the answers became rather obvious and easy. This quit is not easy, but now it is only a question of time. The fog still lingers some, but now I just ride it out rather than fight it or let it scare me back to the can.
Hey guys, don't fill the boards with condolences. It's been 15 months and I've come to terms with my loss. But I wanted to share this story to prompt you to ask yourselves, "Is Any Price Too High?" Are you putting artificial barriers (like the job, or conserving vacation days and sick leave, or keeping secrets from your wife) in the way of accomplishing THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL in your life right now?
Would you quit your job, sell your house and move to a desolate place where you have no friends, all in order to save the life of your child, wife, or father? Of course you would. Now, do whatever you have to do, at whatever cost, to save your own life.
-
Thanks for posting this again
Really hits home
-
I freakin love this post and it was the foundation of my own quit. I'm just gonna leave it here
What Price to Save Ourselves?
by Spongebob
For over 2 decades, my best quit efforts lasted maybe 10 or so days. Finally, asking myself the right question changed my attitude and made it possible to quit. This quit is not easy, but it is finally in MY CONTROL and (I firmly believe) FINAL.
Previously, I always asked "how can I find the strength to break this addiction? In particular, how can I get through the crushing brain fog that always leads to my demise. I can't stay quit or start quitting right now because I get too brain-stupid to get any work done." THAT QUESTION ALWAYS LED ME TO FAIL because (a) it gave me the choice to fail, and (B) it said I had other priorities that I would allow to interfere with quitting.
This time, I asked myself a different question. "IS THERE ANYTHING I WILL NOT DO IN ORDER TO QUIT? IS ANY COST TOO HIGH?" Since nobody was asking me to give up my family, I decided the answer was "NO." I therefore decided that I WILL INCUR ANY COST WHATSOEVER TO QUIT. If I must, I will use up all my vacation time to get away from the office until the fog lifts. If I have no vacation time left, I'll call in sick (and I consider addiction withdrawal to be honestly sick). If I run out of vacation/sick time, I'll ask for unpaid leave until my head clears up and while I practice handling fewer stresses without opening a tin. If I can't get unpaid leave, I'll let that job go (and go find a new job AFTER I SAVED MY LIFE). If I can't afford being on unpaid leave or unemployment, I will swallow my pride and ask for help from family friends, and I will sell my stupid car/house/stereo while I SAVE MY LIFE.
WOW, once I decided that NO COST WAS TOO HIGH TO SAVE MY LIFE, and that I would GLADLY INCUR THOSE COSTS, my whole mental attitude changed. No longer were there any impediments to quitting. Once that was my attitude, quitting was easier than I had experienced in prior efforts. I did have to cut back on my office time (and incur some temporary pay reduction), but nothing drastic. And in the long run, who gives a damn?
See, the real barrier wasn't quitting tobacco -- the real barrier had been what I had not CONSIDERED doing, or had not been WILLING to do, in order to make quitting the absolute #1 priority.
Another example: does quitting make being around the house unbearable? Negotiate leaving for 2 weeks!!! "Honey, I need these 2 weeks in order to give you the rest of my life. This isn't a vacation, this is the old 'stick with me in sickness and in health thing.' It's unfair to leave you with the kids, but I will make it up to you, and you will like the new me much better, and I won't go and get cancer on you.")
I came to this "At What Price" attitude after my wife died. She had been given a terminal diagnosis from hell with no hope whatsoever (Lou Gehrig's Disease). We had wished there was something/anything we could do, but there was not. And she had done nothing to deserve it (no smokes, barely drank, exercised regularly, young).
Now here I was, 14 months after she passed away, giving myself my own terminal sentence. But this was a sentence I had the power to stop. My wife had been denied any such power. So, every time I CHOSE to fill my lip, I insulted the memory of my wife. My wife and I would have paid ANY PRICE to save her: sacrificing job, house, friends, etc.
Once I asked "What Price" to save myself, the answers became rather obvious and easy. This quit is not easy, but now it is only a question of time. The fog still lingers some, but now I just ride it out rather than fight it or let it scare me back to the can.
Hey guys, don't fill the boards with condolences. It's been 15 months and I've come to terms with my loss. But I wanted to share this story to prompt you to ask yourselves, "Is Any Price Too High?" Are you putting artificial barriers (like the job, or conserving vacation days and sick leave, or keeping secrets from your wife) in the way of accomplishing THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL in your life right now?
Would you quit your job, sell your house and move to a desolate place where you have no friends, all in order to save the life of your child, wife, or father? Of course you would. Now, do whatever you have to do, at whatever cost, to save your own life.
SM would you mind if I printed this and shared with a friend of mine that has not made the dicision to quit. What a great perspective
-
sM's Road to Quit
Some years ago I got a call from a frantic daughter explaining that she had not heard from her father for a few weeks which was out of character for him. She asked I check on him. He was a retired police officer, overweight, with bad circulation from years of chewing tobacco. A good guy.
I found him on his couch, sitting up. He had been there for weeks. All around him were spit cups and spent dips that had been left everywhere. It was like a giant dip shitting rabbit had left pellets of skoal all over his apartment. A rancid spitter had spilled at his feet when the heart attack took him. He died dipping, covered in brown spit, surrounded by stinking cups of cancerous ooze. The damage nicotine had done to his circulatory system was determined to be a major contributor to his death. He never even had time to say goodbye to his daughter.
I walked out and packed a dip. The irony of that bothered me. The memory of it sickens me.
Weeks later another resident came in to pay her rent. She was going through her second round of chemo, and was swollen like Verucca Sault after eating the unperfected blueberry gum from Willy Wonka. She'd lost all her hair and had black rings under eyes. I met her at my desk with a wedge in my mouth. She looked at me and started to weep. She said " but you have babies!!" She asked me why I hadn't quit. Lamely I stammered about it being difficult and said" you know how it is" she said, " NO, I DID NOT know how it is" and became angry with me. She was dead in a week.
Before the lung cancer took its tool, she was beautiful. She was from Europe somewhere and had that cosmopolitan flare. She smoked with the grace of an old school silver screen beauty like Bacall. She had class. In the end cancer stripped it all bare, left her a wheezing shell of herself. I can't shake the vision of her looking hard into my eyes with tears falling from her ashen cheeks and asking me why I hadn't quit yet. How ridiculous my answer. I can see her husband standing at the window smoking as I type this. I'm embarrassed that I understand it. He is an addict just like me. Not even holding his wives hand as she died due to smoking could flip the switch in his head. I'm ashamed that I was once as lost as him.
Another month went by and I sat in a duck blind by myself knuckles deep into a log of chew during a week long duck hunt. I began to ponder the stupidity of my addiction. I felt horrible most days. My heart beat jumped like a jackrabbit on meth. I was tired, I needed at least 2 cans a day to feel " normal" . Thing was is my use had gotten to the level that I was unable to remove the withdrawl symptoms. I was spending the entire day in a state of nicotine withdrawl. I could chew nic gum, smoke, and dip, but really never got any relief from the cravings. I see now that this is how drug addicts eventually overdose and die. If it was heroin or coke and not nicotine, I'd be dead. In any case I had a moment of clarity and realized if I was going to live in a constant state of withdrawl, I might as well quit and stop killing myself. I wasn't going to feel anymore shitty so what was the difference. I set my last can on the ledge of the blind and never used nicotine again.
This is nicotine's end game. At some point you reach the level of addiction that your never "not" using. It's why there are chain smokers. It's why you replaced one dip after another after another. It is why you hide your habit from your family and coworkers. It is why I would buy my chew from different gas stations because I was actually embarrased by how much I used. It is also why nicotine will never get me back. I know what is there at the end. She either kills you outright with cancer, kills you slowly with related disease, or just stops "working" . It is a no win game from all angles. a neurotoxic romance where the only outcomes are death or quit.
three years into my quit, my wife who is a health nut of epic proportions, slim as a rail and almost vegetarian was diagnosed with cancer. No cause, just random luck. The fear, anguish, hurt of that diagnosis and treatment that followed was unbelieveable. Cancer is a mother fucker my friends. Thank God she has made it through that and is one year clean today. There is no earthly way any human being would place himself in that posistion on purpose, and yet we do. We use a substance that we know will kill us eventually. We take comfort in the so called odds that we won't be the one that gets it. We try to believe the storys about the grandparent that smokes and dipped until he was 103. We lie to ourselves. Jenny Kern once said " the odds don't matter when your the one who gets it" She is right. Moreover, there are no odds you could give me that would make me risk hurting my family to such a huge extent. Purposefully killing ourselves by choosing nicotine over our family? stupid.
I'm so relieved I quit. I'm comforted now by the fact that I am approaching 4 years quit and that each passing day brings me closer to reducing my risk of cancer back to the level of a non tobacco user. It was so easy in hindsight. I just had to make up my mind to do it. To accept the consequences of quitting. To pay the price of the suck and the funks. It was so worth all of that shit, it was easier than I thought, and the rewards far greater.
Stay quit , it IS literally life and death
sM
-
sM's Road to Quit
Some years ago I got a call from a frantic daughter explaining that she had not heard from her father for a few weeks which was out of character for him. She asked I check on him. He was a retired police officer, overweight, with bad circulation from years of chewing tobacco. A good guy.
I found him on his couch, sitting up. He had been there for weeks. All around him were spit cups and spent dips that had been left everywhere. It was like a giant dip shitting rabbit had left pellets of skoal all over his apartment. A rancid spitter had spilled at his feet when the heart attack took him. He died dipping, covered in brown spit, surrounded by stinking cups of cancerous ooze. The damage nicotine had done to his circulatory system was determined to be a major contributor to his death. He never even had time to say goodbye to his daughter.
I walked out and packed a dip. The irony of that bothered me. The memory of it sickens me.
Weeks later another resident came in to pay her rent. She was going through her second round of chemo, and was swollen like Verucca Sault after eating the unperfected blueberry gum from Willy Wonka. She'd lost all her hair and had black rings under eyes. I met her at my desk with a wedge in my mouth. She looked at me and started to weep. She said " but you have babies!!" She asked me why I hadn't quit. Lamely I stammered about it being difficult and said" you know how it is" she said, " NO, I DID NOT know how it is" and became angry with me. She was dead in a week.
Before the lung cancer took its tool, she was beautiful. She was from Europe somewhere and had that cosmopolitan flare. She smoked with the grace of an old school silver screen beauty like Bacall. She had class. In the end cancer stripped it all bare, left her a wheezing shell of herself. I can't shake the vision of her looking hard into my eyes with tears falling from her ashen cheeks and asking me why I hadn't quit yet. How ridiculous my answer. I can see her husband standing at the window smoking as I type this. I'm embarrassed that I understand it. He is an addict just like me. Not even holding his wives hand as she died due to smoking could flip the switch in his head. I'm ashamed that I was once as lost as him.
Another month went by and I sat in a duck blind by myself knuckles deep into a log of chew during a week long duck hunt. I began to ponder the stupidity of my addiction. I felt horrible most days. My heart beat jumped like a jackrabbit on meth. I was tired, I needed at least 2 cans a day to feel " normal" . Thing was is my use had gotten to the level that I was unable to remove the withdrawl symptoms. I was spending the entire day in a state of nicotine withdrawl. I could chew nic gum, smoke, and dip, but really never got any relief from the cravings. I see now that this is how drug addicts eventually overdose and die. If it was heroin or coke and not nicotine, I'd be dead. In any case I had a moment of clarity and realized if I was going to live in a constant state of withdrawl, I might as well quit and stop killing myself. I wasn't going to feel anymore shitty so what was the difference. I set my last can on the ledge of the blind and never used nicotine again.
This is nicotine's end game. At some point you reach the level of addiction that your never "not" using. It's why there are chain smokers. It's why you replaced one dip after another after another. It is why you hide your habit from your family and coworkers. It is why I would buy my chew from different gas stations because I was actually embarrased by how much I used. It is also why nicotine will never get me back. I know what is there at the end. She either kills you outright with cancer, kills you slowly with related disease, or just stops "working" . It is a no win game from all angles. a neurotoxic romance where the only outcomes are death or quit.
three years into my quit, my wife who is a health nut of epic proportions, slim as a rail and almost vegetarian was diagnosed with cancer. No cause, just random luck. The fear, anguish, hurt of that diagnosis and treatment that followed was unbelieveable. Cancer is a mother fucker my friends. Thank God she has made it through that and is one year clean today. There is no earthly way any human being would place himself in that posistion on purpose, and yet we do. We use a substance that we know will kill us eventually. We take comfort in the so called odds that we won't be the one that gets it. We try to believe the storys about the grandparent that smokes and dipped until he was 103. We lie to ourselves. Jenny Kern once said " the odds don't matter when your the one who gets it" She is right. Moreover, there are no odds you could give me that would make me risk hurting my family to such a huge extent. Purposefully killing ourselves by choosing nicotine over our family? stupid.
I'm so relieved I quit. I'm comforted now by the fact that I am approaching 4 years quit and that each passing day brings me closer to reducing my risk of cancer back to the level of a non tobacco user. It was so easy in hindsight. I just had to make up my mind to do it. To accept the consequences of quitting. To pay the price of the suck and the funks. It was so worth all of that shit, it was easier than I thought, and the rewards far greater.
Stay quit , it IS literally life and death
sM
Thanks SM, that hit the spot and further substantiates the thoughts flowing through my head as the days without go scrolling by. How flipping stupid we all were, how fucking lucky we are to have a chance to fight back, how great is it that we have a foundation to lean against when our quit life isn't perfect.
I really can't explain why I hopped in here on an afternoon when I have too much work and too little time to get it completed. I just know Someone is looking out for us as we walk this road to freedom.
QLAFM with you today.
-
sM's Road to Quit
 Some years ago I got a call from a frantic daughter explaining that she had not heard from her father for a few weeks which was out of character for him. She asked I check on him. He was a retired police officer, overweight, with bad circulation from years of chewing tobacco. A good guy.
I found him on his couch, sitting up. He had been there for weeks. All around him were spit cups and spent dips that had been left everywhere. It was like a giant dip shitting rabbit had left pellets of skoal all over his apartment. A rancid spitter had spilled at his feet when the heart attack took him. He died dipping, covered in brown spit, surrounded by stinking cups of cancerous ooze. The damage nicotine had done to his circulatory system was determined to be a major contributor to his death. He never even had time to say goodbye to his daughter.
I walked out and packed a dip. The irony of that bothered me. The memory of it sickens me.
Weeks later another resident came in to pay her rent. She was going through her second round of chemo, and was swollen like Verucca Sault after eating the unperfected blueberry gum from Willy Wonka. She'd lost all her hair and had black rings under eyes. I met her at my desk with a wedge in my mouth. She looked at me and started to weep. She said " but you have babies!!" She asked me why I hadn't quit. Lamely I stammered about it being difficult and said" you know how it is" she said, " NO, I DID NOT know how it is" and became angry with me. She was dead in a week.
Before the lung cancer took its tool, she was beautiful. She was from Europe somewhere and had that cosmopolitan flare. She smoked with the grace of an old school silver screen beauty like Bacall. She had class. In the end cancer stripped it all bare, left her a wheezing shell of herself. I can't shake the vision of her looking hard into my eyes with tears falling from her ashen cheeks and asking me why I hadn't quit yet. How ridiculous my answer. I can see her husband standing at the window smoking as I type this. I'm embarrassed that I understand it. He is an addict just like me. Not even holding his wives hand as she died due to smoking could flip the switch in his head. I'm ashamed that I was once as lost as him.
Another month went by and I sat in a duck blind by myself knuckles deep into a log of chew during a week long duck hunt. I began to ponder the stupidity of my addiction. I felt horrible most days. My heart beat jumped like a jackrabbit on meth. I was tired, I needed at least 2 cans a day to feel " normal" . Thing was is my use had gotten to the level that I was unable to remove the withdrawl symptoms. I was spending the entire day in a state of nicotine withdrawl. I could chew nic gum, smoke, and dip, but really never got any relief from the cravings. I see now that this is how drug addicts eventually overdose and die. If it was heroin or coke and not nicotine, I'd be dead. In any case I had a moment of clarity and realized if I was going to live in a constant state of withdrawl, I might as well quit and stop killing myself. I wasn't going to feel anymore shitty so what was the difference. I set my last can on the ledge of the blind and never used nicotine again.
This is nicotine's end game. At some point you reach the level of addiction that your never "not" using. It's why there are chain smokers. It's why you replaced one dip after another after another. It is why you hide your habit from your family and coworkers. It is why I would buy my chew from different gas stations because I was actually embarrased by how much I used. It is also why nicotine will never get me back. I know what is there at the end. She either kills you outright with cancer, kills you slowly with related disease, or just stops "working" . It is a no win game from all angles. a neurotoxic romance where the only outcomes are death or quit.
three years into my quit, my wife who is a health nut of epic proportions, slim as a rail and almost vegetarian was diagnosed with cancer. No cause, just random luck. The fear, anguish, hurt of that diagnosis and treatment that followed was unbelieveable. Cancer is a mother fucker my friends. Thank God she has made it through that and is one year clean today. There is no earthly way any human being would place himself in that posistion on purpose, and yet we do. We use a substance that we know will kill us eventually. We take comfort in the so called odds that we won't be the one that gets it. We try to believe the storys about the grandparent that smokes and dipped until he was 103. We lie to ourselves. Jenny Kern once said " the odds don't matter when your the one who gets it" She is right. Moreover, there are no odds you could give me that would make me risk hurting my family to such a huge extent. Purposefully killing ourselves by choosing nicotine over our family? stupid.
I'm so relieved I quit. I'm comforted now by the fact that I am approaching 4 years quit and that each passing day brings me closer to reducing my risk of cancer back to the level of a non tobacco user. It was so easy in hindsight. I just had to make up my mind to do it. To accept the consequences of quitting. To pay the price of the suck and the funks. It was so worth all of that shit, it was easier than I thought, and the rewards far greater.
Stay quit , it IS literally life and death
sM
Thanks SM, that hit the spot and further substantiates the thoughts flowing through my head as the days without go scrolling by. How flipping stupid we all were, how fucking lucky we are to have a chance to fight back, how great is it that we have a foundation to lean against when our quit life isn't perfect.
I really can't explain why I hopped in here on an afternoon when I have too much work and too little time to get it completed. I just know Someone is looking out for us as we walk this road to freedom.
QLAFM with you today.
Thanks for sharing that, sM. Powerful stuff and I'm glad to have landed in a quit group with you. I was right there with you on not being able to get enough "delivery." The freedom is amazing and I'm in this for the long-haul. It's great to hear that your wife is cancer free! I'll quit with you anytime my friend.
Now, to the reader out there in the ether. If you haven't quit yet, read his words again. You have no idea what awaits you. You need to decide if living is worth the effort.
-
2 for 2
You are a legend
-
2 for 2
You are a legend
Naw, Daniel Boone was a legend. I'm just a guy with a paddle ball in one hand and a rolling pin in the other, licking windows and laughing at people in funny hats. 'Crazy'
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
Found it...
Posted in August 2010:
by SkoalMonster
If the olympics had an event for carpentry , I would be the short odds favorite to kick ass.By kick ass, I mean nailing my hands together after stapling my junk to a 2x4.
A month ago my dumbass decides, with some encouragement from my 3 year old, who has less common sense than Tortilla Jesus after a gallon of Jaeger Meister, to get some chickens. I figure they're probably like eggs, so I get 6. Only minor problem is I don't have a coop. Now, the thing about chickens is , they grow faster than Hawkquit's schlong after eating a tub of viagra and watching Mrs Howell on Gilligans Island. No, worries I think because like CougerDaddys signifigant other I have every tool under the sun. . So I start building. What I lack in construction experience I make up for with enthusiasm ( like sex with BFrank, so I hear). If the incredible hulk built shit while he was all green and steroidal, it would pale in comparison to the sheer strength of the fucking bomb shelter that I have built for my 5 chickens. Oh yeah, it is now a dyslexic bakers half dozen. On the plus side the cat is happier than shit and the kids now know that chickens go to heaven and the cat is a dick. My window licking 3 year old suggests that we say fuck it on the bunker style coop and feed the rest of the chickens to the cat. Because " it was kind of funny" Little buddy might be smarter than I give him credit for, or like Zombie, a future serial killer.
But, unlike raging Jews sister, Im no easy sell, so I keep building. I roof, I insulate, I fence, glue, cut, and screw. Reminds me of dating my wife, except roof had an ie on it. shes still pissed about the whole fencing cage thing. Women.... but I digress.
Today I finsihed the Rhino proof, hurricane proof, nuclear bomb shelter that is my coop. I looked proudly at the double thick walls, the cedar trim that hides all my fuck ups. The 300 screws, The perfectly fitting doors and ramps and roofing and fencing job. "Yes this 8 foot long by 4 foot wide and 6 foot tall house is a beauty of redneck engineering. The problem you ask?..........built it in the driveway. It must weigh over 1,000 pounds, cant even lift a corner with two guys.
I am considering wearing a helmet all day every day and also having what remains of my pea sized brain surgically removed so I dont get in any more trouble. However, I did the whole thing dip free so I got that going for me.
-
I love chickens. I built the polar opposite coop for my half dozen. It was rickety, shotty, and a muddy mess in winter. Those poor chickens. They now live at my mom's, free range in the Santa Cruz mountains. Chicken heaven. Love that post, glad you dug it up.
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
Found it...
Posted in August 2010:
by SkoalMonster
If the olympics had an event for carpentry , I would be the short odds favorite to kick ass.By kick ass, I mean nailing my hands together after stapling my junk to a 2x4.
A month ago my dumbass decides, with some encouragement from my 3 year old, who has less common sense than Tortilla Jesus after a gallon of Jaeger Meister, to get some chickens. I figure they're probably like eggs, so I get 6. Only minor problem is I don't have a coop. Now, the thing about chickens is , they grow faster than Hawkquit's schlong after eating a tub of viagra and watching Mrs Howell on Gilligans Island. No, worries I think because like CougerDaddys signifigant other I have every tool under the sun. . So I start building. What I lack in construction experience I make up for with enthusiasm ( like sex with BFrank, so I hear). If the incredible hulk built shit while he was all green and steroidal, it would pale in comparison to the sheer strength of the fucking bomb shelter that I have built for my 5 chickens. Oh yeah, it is now a dyslexic bakers half dozen. On the plus side the cat is happier than shit and the kids now know that chickens go to heaven and the cat is a dick. My window licking 3 year old suggests that we say fuck it on the bunker style coop and feed the rest of the chickens to the cat. Because " it was kind of funny" Little buddy might be smarter than I give him credit for, or like Zombie, a future serial killer.
But, unlike raging Jews sister, Im no easy sell, so I keep building. I roof, I insulate, I fence, glue, cut, and screw. Reminds me of dating my wife, except roof had an ie on it. shes still pissed about the whole fencing cage thing. Women.... but I digress.
Today I finsihed the Rhino proof, hurricane proof, nuclear bomb shelter that is my coop. I looked proudly at the double thick walls, the cedar trim that hides all my fuck ups. The 300 screws, The perfectly fitting doors and ramps and roofing and fencing job. "Yes this 8 foot long by 4 foot wide and 6 foot tall house is a beauty of redneck engineering. The problem you ask?..........built it in the driveway. It must weigh over 1,000 pounds, cant even lift a corner with two guys.
I am considering wearing a helmet all day every day and also having what remains of my pea sized brain surgically removed so I dont get in any more trouble. However, I did the whole thing dip free so I got that going for me.
Thanks!!! I needed that. Shit cracked me up from the first time I read it.
'crackup'
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
Found it...
Posted in August 2010:
by SkoalMonster
If the olympics had an event for carpentry , I would be the short odds favorite to kick ass.By kick ass, I mean nailing my hands together after stapling my junk to a 2x4.
A month ago my dumbass decides, with some encouragement from my 3 year old, who has less common sense than Tortilla Jesus after a gallon of Jaeger Meister, to get some chickens. I figure they're probably like eggs, so I get 6. Only minor problem is I don't have a coop. Now, the thing about chickens is , they grow faster than Hawkquit's schlong after eating a tub of viagra and watching Mrs Howell on Gilligans Island. No, worries I think because like CougerDaddys signifigant other I have every tool under the sun. . So I start building. What I lack in construction experience I make up for with enthusiasm ( like sex with BFrank, so I hear). If the incredible hulk built shit while he was all green and steroidal, it would pale in comparison to the sheer strength of the fucking bomb shelter that I have built for my 5 chickens. Oh yeah, it is now a dyslexic bakers half dozen. On the plus side the cat is happier than shit and the kids now know that chickens go to heaven and the cat is a dick. My window licking 3 year old suggests that we say fuck it on the bunker style coop and feed the rest of the chickens to the cat. Because " it was kind of funny" Little buddy might be smarter than I give him credit for, or like Zombie, a future serial killer.
But, unlike raging Jews sister, Im no easy sell, so I keep building. I roof, I insulate, I fence, glue, cut, and screw. Reminds me of dating my wife, except roof had an ie on it. shes still pissed about the whole fencing cage thing. Women.... but I digress.
Today I finsihed the Rhino proof, hurricane proof, nuclear bomb shelter that is my coop. I looked proudly at the double thick walls, the cedar trim that hides all my fuck ups. The 300 screws, The perfectly fitting doors and ramps and roofing and fencing job. "Yes this 8 foot long by 4 foot wide and 6 foot tall house is a beauty of redneck engineering. The problem you ask?..........built it in the driveway. It must weigh over 1,000 pounds, cant even lift a corner with two guys.
I am considering wearing a helmet all day every day and also having what remains of my pea sized brain surgically removed so I dont get in any more trouble. However, I did the whole thing dip free so I got that going for me.
Thanks!!! I needed that. Shit cracked me up from the first time I read it.
'crackup'
x2 - that is hilarious, thanks
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
Found it...
Posted in August 2010:
by SkoalMonster
If the olympics had an event for carpentry , I would be the short odds favorite to kick ass.By kick ass, I mean nailing my hands together after stapling my junk to a 2x4.
A month ago my dumbass decides, with some encouragement from my 3 year old, who has less common sense than Tortilla Jesus after a gallon of Jaeger Meister, to get some chickens. I figure they're probably like eggs, so I get 6. Only minor problem is I don't have a coop. Now, the thing about chickens is , they grow faster than Hawkquit's schlong after eating a tub of viagra and watching Mrs Howell on Gilligans Island. No, worries I think because like CougerDaddys signifigant other I have every tool under the sun. . So I start building. What I lack in construction experience I make up for with enthusiasm ( like sex with BFrank, so I hear). If the incredible hulk built shit while he was all green and steroidal, it would pale in comparison to the sheer strength of the fucking bomb shelter that I have built for my 5 chickens. Oh yeah, it is now a dyslexic bakers half dozen. On the plus side the cat is happier than shit and the kids now know that chickens go to heaven and the cat is a dick. My window licking 3 year old suggests that we say fuck it on the bunker style coop and feed the rest of the chickens to the cat. Because " it was kind of funny" Little buddy might be smarter than I give him credit for, or like Zombie, a future serial killer.
But, unlike raging Jews sister, Im no easy sell, so I keep building. I roof, I insulate, I fence, glue, cut, and screw. Reminds me of dating my wife, except roof had an ie on it. shes still pissed about the whole fencing cage thing. Women.... but I digress.
Today I finsihed the Rhino proof, hurricane proof, nuclear bomb shelter that is my coop. I looked proudly at the double thick walls, the cedar trim that hides all my fuck ups. The 300 screws, The perfectly fitting doors and ramps and roofing and fencing job. "Yes this 8 foot long by 4 foot wide and 6 foot tall house is a beauty of redneck engineering. The problem you ask?..........built it in the driveway. It must weigh over 1,000 pounds, cant even lift a corner with two guys.
I am considering wearing a helmet all day every day and also having what remains of my pea sized brain surgically removed so I dont get in any more trouble. However, I did the whole thing dip free so I got that going for me.
Thanks!!! I needed that. Shit cracked me up from the first time I read it.
'crackup'
x2 - that is hilarious, thanks
'crackup' 'crackup' Forgot about this one!!
-
Alright, I looked and I can't find it, maybe I missed it or it's not in here ( confused yet?).
There was a story about building a chicken coop in the driveway and I thought is was in here..............
Help.
I remember that one.
Yeah , my double hernia reminds me all the time. I dunno where that was , I do know that SOB was heavier than a train full of circus elephants, and if doomsday hits I'll be in the coop. It's built stronger than my house. But in the future I will build giant crap like that where it lives instead of the garage. I must have been fogged in . 'bang head' 'bang head'
Found it...
Posted in August 2010:
by SkoalMonster
If the olympics had an event for carpentry , I would be the short odds favorite to kick ass.By kick ass, I mean nailing my hands together after stapling my junk to a 2x4.
A month ago my dumbass decides, with some encouragement from my 3 year old, who has less common sense than Tortilla Jesus after a gallon of Jaeger Meister, to get some chickens. I figure they're probably like eggs, so I get 6. Only minor problem is I don't have a coop. Now, the thing about chickens is , they grow faster than Hawkquit's schlong after eating a tub of viagra and watching Mrs Howell on Gilligans Island. No, worries I think because like CougerDaddys signifigant other I have every tool under the sun. . So I start building. What I lack in construction experience I make up for with enthusiasm ( like sex with BFrank, so I hear). If the incredible hulk built shit while he was all green and steroidal, it would pale in comparison to the sheer strength of the fucking bomb shelter that I have built for my 5 chickens. Oh yeah, it is now a dyslexic bakers half dozen. On the plus side the cat is happier than shit and the kids now know that chickens go to heaven and the cat is a dick. My window licking 3 year old suggests that we say fuck it on the bunker style coop and feed the rest of the chickens to the cat. Because " it was kind of funny" Little buddy might be smarter than I give him credit for, or like Zombie, a future serial killer.
But, unlike raging Jews sister, Im no easy sell, so I keep building. I roof, I insulate, I fence, glue, cut, and screw. Reminds me of dating my wife, except roof had an ie on it. shes still pissed about the whole fencing cage thing. Women.... but I digress.
Today I finsihed the Rhino proof, hurricane proof, nuclear bomb shelter that is my coop. I looked proudly at the double thick walls, the cedar trim that hides all my fuck ups. The 300 screws, The perfectly fitting doors and ramps and roofing and fencing job. "Yes this 8 foot long by 4 foot wide and 6 foot tall house is a beauty of redneck engineering. The problem you ask?..........built it in the driveway. It must weigh over 1,000 pounds, cant even lift a corner with two guys.
I am considering wearing a helmet all day every day and also having what remains of my pea sized brain surgically removed so I dont get in any more trouble. However, I did the whole thing dip free so I got that going for me.
Thanks!!! I needed that. Shit cracked me up from the first time I read it.
'crackup'
x2 - that is hilarious, thanks
'crackup' 'crackup' Forgot about this one!!
"The cat is a dick."
'crackup'
-
sM's Road to Quit
  Some years ago I got a call from a frantic daughter explaining that she had not heard from her father for a few weeks which was out of character for him. She asked I check on him. He was a retired police officer, overweight, with bad circulation from years of chewing tobacco. A good guy.
I found him on his couch, sitting up. He had been there for weeks. All around him were spit cups and spent dips that had been left everywhere. It was like a giant dip shitting rabbit had left pellets of skoal all over his apartment. A rancid spitter had spilled at his feet when the heart attack took him. He died dipping, covered in brown spit, surrounded by stinking cups of cancerous ooze. The damage nicotine had done to his circulatory system was determined to be a major contributor to his death. He never even had time to say goodbye to his daughter.
I walked out and packed a dip. The irony of that bothered me. The memory of it sickens me.
Weeks later another resident came in to pay her rent. She was going through her second round of chemo, and was swollen like Verucca Sault after eating the unperfected blueberry gum from Willy Wonka. She'd lost all her hair and had black rings under eyes. I met her at my desk with a wedge in my mouth. She looked at me and started to weep. She said " but you have babies!!" She asked me why I hadn't quit. Lamely I stammered about it being difficult and said" you know how it is" she said, " NO, I DID NOT know how it is" and became angry with me. She was dead in a week.
Before the lung cancer took its tool, she was beautiful. She was from Europe somewhere and had that cosmopolitan flare. She smoked with the grace of an old school silver screen beauty like Bacall. She had class. In the end cancer stripped it all bare, left her a wheezing shell of herself. I can't shake the vision of her looking hard into my eyes with tears falling from her ashen cheeks and asking me why I hadn't quit yet. How ridiculous my answer. I can see her husband standing at the window smoking as I type this.  I'm embarrassed that I understand it. He is an addict just like me. Not even holding his wives hand as she died due to smoking could flip the switch in his head. I'm ashamed that I was once as lost as him.
Another month went by and I sat in a duck blind by myself knuckles deep into a log of chew during a week long duck hunt. I began to ponder the stupidity of my addiction. I felt horrible most days. My heart beat jumped like a jackrabbit on meth. I was tired, I needed at least 2 cans a day to feel " normal" . Thing was is my use had gotten to the level that I was unable to remove the withdrawl symptoms. I was spending the entire day in a state of nicotine withdrawl. I could chew nic gum, smoke, and dip, but really never got any relief from the cravings. I see now that this is how drug addicts eventually overdose and die. If it was heroin or coke and not nicotine, I'd be dead. In any case I had a moment of clarity and realized if I was going to live in a constant state of withdrawl, I might as well quit and stop killing myself. I wasn't going to feel anymore shitty so what was the difference. I set my last can on the ledge of the blind and never used nicotine again.
This is nicotine's end game. At some point you reach the level of addiction that your never "not" using. It's why there are chain smokers. It's why you replaced one dip after another after another. It is why you hide your habit from your family and coworkers. It is why I would buy my chew from different gas stations because I was actually embarrased by how much I used. It is also why nicotine will never get me back. I know what is there at the end. She either kills you outright with cancer, kills you slowly with related disease, or just stops "working" . It is a no win game from all angles. a neurotoxic romance where the only outcomes are death or quit.
three years into my quit, my wife who is a health nut of epic proportions, slim as a rail and almost vegetarian was diagnosed with cancer. No cause, just random luck. The fear, anguish, hurt of that diagnosis and treatment that followed was unbelieveable. Cancer is a mother fucker my friends. Thank God she has made it through that and is one year clean today. There is no earthly way any human being would place himself in that posistion on purpose, and yet we do. We use a substance that we know will kill us eventually. We take comfort in the so called odds that we won't be the one that gets it. We try to believe the storys about the grandparent that smokes and dipped until he was 103. We lie to ourselves. Jenny Kern once said " the odds don't matter when your the one who gets it" She is right. Moreover, there are no odds you could give me that would make me risk hurting my family to such a huge extent. Purposefully killing ourselves by choosing nicotine over our family? stupid.
I'm so relieved I quit. I'm comforted now by the fact that I am approaching 4 years quit and that each passing day brings me closer to reducing my risk of cancer back to the level of a non tobacco user. It was so easy in hindsight. I just had to make up my mind to do it. To accept the consequences of quitting. To pay the price of the suck and the funks. It was so worth all of that shit, it was easier than I thought, and the rewards far greater.
Stay quit , it IS literally life and death
sM
Thanks SM, that hit the spot and further substantiates the thoughts flowing through my head as the days without go scrolling by. How flipping stupid we all were, how fucking lucky we are to have a chance to fight back, how great is it that we have a foundation to lean against when our quit life isn't perfect.
I really can't explain why I hopped in here on an afternoon when I have too much work and too little time to get it completed. I just know Someone is looking out for us as we walk this road to freedom.
QLAFM with you today.
Thanks for sharing that, sM. Powerful stuff and I'm glad to have landed in a quit group with you. I was right there with you on not being able to get enough "delivery." The freedom is amazing and I'm in this for the long-haul. It's great to hear that your wife is cancer free! I'll quit with you anytime my friend.
Now, to the reader out there in the ether. If you haven't quit yet, read his words again. You have no idea what awaits you. You need to decide if living is worth the effort.
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you..... "unable to remove the withdrawal symptoms" hit home.
-
Spongebob Mantra
There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great.
But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too.
But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth
By Magnum
Some people never intended to make this a life long decision. Quitting to them is a novelty not a life or death decision. Accountability means nothing when you haven't made the decision to quit for good. If you leave the option open to shit on yourself why would you care about shitting on others let alone calling them before you do it?
Fuck Cavers. Be a quitter.
So I was floating along like a BOSS with 108 days under my belt. I dropped my hands for just a split second and the bitch took a swing at my face. She missed of course because I never even let here get that close, but here is the story:
I stopped to assist a Deputy that had a vehicle stopped. I was talking with the driver who was smoking something that was plugged into the cigarette lighter. This was no ordinary Electronic cigarette, this was a top of the line device with several customized chrome parts. I asked him about it and he stated that you can refill the clear class capsule with "liquid nicotine stuff" and smoke it. He had bought each of the parts separately and estimated that he was in it about 50 dollars. You could tell this was his prize possession and he was happy to show it off. Hmmm...I thought as my addict mind began to turn...liquid nicotine?...could it be safe?....have I found the perfect device to feed my addiction? Then I realized what I was thinking and it scared me. I never have even smoked a cigarette and I was rationalizing a way to get nicotine. I have been able to destroy all of my craves but was not ready for this cheap shot.
The driver was subsequently arrested for possession of heroin. As we talked about his addiction with heroin I found myself nodding my head in agreement. I was no different then this young kid, I am an addict!
I am typing this to remind myself that I am an ADDICT. That I can never let my hands drop and expose my chin. Any opportunity the nic-bitch has to take a swing she will. She will ground pound me and not let me back up.. NEVER AGAIN!
Waketech -Day 108-
by Keddy
Day • 801 •
Just For Review: There is no safe form of tobacco. Someone who dips gets a whole lot more than he or she asks for!
At least 28 chemicals in smokeless tobacco have been found to cause cancer.- Polynuclear aromatic hydrocarbons (PAH), particularly benzo[a]pyrene (B[a] P is one such carcinogens found in smokeless tobacco. It is suggested that exposure to PAH can increase the risk of lung and skin cancer.
- Volatile aldehydes are the most abundantly found carcinogens in smokeless tobacco (ST). Though acetaldehyde, formaldehyde and croton aldehyde are less carcinogenic, together they can add to the carcinogenic potential in ST. Exposure to volatile aldehyde can cause breast and liver cancer.
- Tobacco-specific nitrosamines (TSNAs) are the most harmful carcinogens found in smokeless tobacco. In young tobacco leaves, N-Nitrosamines are found in minute amounts. But, they are actually formed during curing, fermentation and aging of tobacco. N-nitrosamine exposure can cause cancer of oral, esophagus, pancreas, stomach, lung, and bladder.
- Other than TSNAs, studies have also reported that smokeless tobacco contains nitrosamino acids. Of the 10 nitrosamino acids identified, 3 are not carcinogenic, 4 (nitrososarcosine, 3-propionic acid, 4-butyric acid and N-nitrosoazetadine-2-carboxylic acid) are known carcinogenic and the rest 3 are yet to be bioassayed.
As if that wasn't enough!- It is suggested that absorption of nicotine directly into the blood stream is 3 to 4 times higher in case of smokeless tobacco than that caused by cigarettes.
- Using smokeless tobacco may also cause heart disease, gum disease, and oral lesions other than cancer, such as leukoplakia (precancerous white patches in the mouth).
Chemicals in smokeless tobacco.- Cadmium: used in car batteries
- Formaldehyde: embalming fluid
- Lead: a poison
- Arsenic:Â a toxic poison
- Nicotine: an addictive drug
- N-Nitrosamines: cancer-causing chemical
- Polonium 210: nuclear waste
- Acetaldehyde: irritant
- Hydrazine: toxic chemical
- Benzopyrene: cancer-causing chemical
- Uranium 235: used in nuclear weapons
- Sodium: salt, can cause high blood pressure
- Sugar: can cause cavities
- Fiberglass and Sand: abrasives
by Wt
What came to my mind was: Stockholm syndrome People suffering from Stockholm syndrome come to identify with and even care for their captors in a desperate, usually unconscious act of self-preservation. It occurs in the most psychologically traumatic situations, often hostage situations or kidnappings, and its effects usually do not end when the crisis ends. In the most classic cases, victims continue to defend and care about their captors even after they escape captivity. Symptoms of Stockholm syndrome have also been identified in the slave/master relationship.
Day 29 of my Quit.
In early December of 2012, I had a referral to an oral surgeon from my dentist. I went the first week of December. The verdict from him at the time was Leukoplakia. I mentioned that I was cutting down on chewing and working to quit. He told me to come back in 8 weeks, if I didn't quit chewing and things looked the same, I'd have to have a biopsy.
Well my day 29 was the visit to the oral surgeon. The tissue didn't improve and I just had a biopsy sample cut from my cheek. As I sit here writing this, my cheek is bleeding, I've just spent $300+ on a procedure, and I'm scared as hell. I'm 32 years old, I can't believe I'm facing the potential of cancer, and I'm scared as hell if I do have it.
Many emotions are running through me right now, fear, sadness, regret, anger.....
Regret -- Why in the hell did I have to poison my body for 17 years with lip turds. I told myself for 17 years that i needed to dip so I'd feel normal, that life was too hard without it. I'm 29 days into my quit -- yea the first 7 days sucked ass, and I felt like absolute hell, but they weren't impossible. On day 29 I know I have a whole log of quitting to do, but I also subscribe to the motto "Never again, for any reason"
Sadness -- I'm sad that I did not think that this would happen or could happen to me. I was invincible in my younger years and I always put off quitting. I'll quit after i get through this big test. I'll quite when I get through this major project at work. I'll quit after I get married. I always had a next step for quitting, but didn't get there until 17 years later. If you wait for the next step or the perfect time to quit, it will never come. Just fucking quit.
Anger -- I'm a dumbass, and I'm angry at myself for being a dumbass. What stupid motherfucker poisons himself day in and day out for 17 years. Not to mention all of the fucking warning signs that people had. The dentist had been warning me for years. I just thought I was invincible, or that it was too hard. The reality: I was too big of a pussy.
Fear -- at 32 years old, I could have cancer. I won't know for a week. This is probably the most terrifying thing that I've faced. Cancer is terrifying, and unfortunately some get it without ever poisoning their bodies, but I can't help but blame myself. I don't know what will come, but the unknown is scary as hell.
For anyone out there lurking on this site: READ THIS. It's not as compelling as the stories on the main site, or the pics, but it's an average 32 year old man that's going through what you may have to face one day if you don't pull that shit out of your lip. Stop being a pussy and man up. look at how many people have been able to quit. And you have access to talk to them. To walk the path with many, rather than the lonely path you are on now.
This site works. It's given me 29 days. 4 weeks. That's 4 weeks nicotine free. I've never had 4 weeks nicotine free since I started.
Today I quit like fuck.
jdalrymple
About 52 years ago, my Daddy made a monumental decision that likely forever altered many of the outcomes of my life. He made this decision when I wasn't quite 2-years old so I never even knew about it until just a few days ago. This single decision very well could be responsible for every lesson he ever taught me. If he hadn't made that decision, he may have been taken from me long ago. On his 37th birthday, October 17, 2012, he made a conscious decision to quit dipping snuff. I never knew he ever had such a nasty habit until he told me just the other day. He spent an hour or so talking about how he used to use tobacco when he was younger. I was shocked! Not only did I never know, but my Daddy is the LAST person on Earth that I would have ever imagined using tobacco. Any time he saw someone using snuff or smoking a cigarette, he would ask them why they were being so selfish. He'd tell them how they were robbing their families of precious moments of life together. It always embarrassed me and my Mom, but he would always ask them how they could choose their habit over their own spouse and children. Every time he finished a conversation with someone about that, he would walk over to me and my Mom and give us a hug and a kiss and tell us he loved us. I didn't know then, but I now know why he did it. Thank you, Daddy!
I have in my hand a piece of paper. My Daddy handed me this piece of paper 4 days ago. On this piece of paper are a word, and a number. It reads, "Day 18,836." When he handed me this piece of paper, I just looked at it and in a confused tone asked him, "What's this, Daddy?" He said, "That's what today is. Today is Day 18,836 of my quit. My mind may not be the sharpest, but I always know what day it is in my quit." I asked, "Your quit from what, Daddy?" "My quit from nicotine," he replied. And that is how the conversation started about him being a nicotine addict. He talked, and I listened for an hour or so while he talked about how much fun and happiness he's had in his life because of his quit. If he had had the strength, he'd have been puffing his chest out. I saw and heard a pride in his voice that I hadn't heard in quite some time. He told me that his quit was how he met some of his life-long friends. I had even met many of them over the years, but had no idea really that he knew them because they were all quitters together. There are even some of you here today. I was fascinated by the stories he told me, and about how he had actually helped lots of other people quit the nicotine habit over the years. He told me, "Besides marrying your Mama, it was probably the best decision I ever made?" We had a big laugh about that one. After the laughter subsided, he got a calm look on his face. He pulled on my hand, so I leaned over and gave him a big hug and a kiss. He said, "I love you, Keelyn. I'll see you soon, my little angel." Then, he leaned his head back, closed his eyes and whispered, "I quit for good, you bunch of JackWagins. I'm goin' to the Hall of Fame."
My Daddy was 89 years old when he passed 4 days ago. He lived a long, prosperous and happy life. In the last days, we spent a lot of time reflecting on all the things we'd done together and all of my successes in life. When I was with him, it was always all about me. All he seemed to care about was helping build me into a successful woman. Whether it was perfecting that rise-ball, nursing that calf, or selling that last box of Thin Mints, he was always pushing me to figure out a way to improve. He always loved me no matter what.
I'll miss you, Daddy. I'll always be your "Little Angel," and I'll see you soon! Thank you, Daddy!"Â Â
-
Spongebob Mantra
There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great.
But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too.
But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth
.....begin with the end in mind. :)
-
Being member 1 or member 16,000 doesn't make any difference, an addict is an addict. I remember when Ray Ray caved at 800 plus days and I was fucking dumbstruck. I was shook when SWJ, Lawenforcer, others caved. Made me feel like I was walking on a razor's edge between quit and using. I tore up cavers because of it. No reason to let a cave effect you. Your quitting for you after all right? Your not a lemming, so don't start thinking about following others off the cliff.
I learned some things watching people fail , I'll pass that on as best I know how
Wisdom I have accepted ;
This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.
If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.
The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.
The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemd to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.
The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.
Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.
It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.
The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.
The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.
When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.
All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.
-
Being member 1 or member 16,000 doesn't make any difference, an addict is an addict. I remember when Ray Ray caved at 800 plus days and I was fucking dumbstruck. I was shook when SWJ, Lawenforcer, others caved. Made me feel like I was walking on a razor's edge between quit and using. I tore up cavers because of it. No reason to let a cave effect you. Your quitting for you after all right? Your not a lemming, so don't start thinking about following others off the cliff.
I learned some things watching people fail , I'll pass that on as best I know how
Wisdom I have accepted ;
This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.
If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.
The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.
The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemd to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.
The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.
Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.
It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.
The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.
The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.
When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.
All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.
THIS is the type of stufff I like to read from the vets of ktc. It helps me and strengthens my quit, almost lets me know I'm still on the right path as sometimes the trail of bread crums gets hard to follow. Im 180 days quit but still look up to many of the "long timers" and find their words most helpful. Some of the other drama I read on here tonight does not. In fact it almost weakens my quit and gets me scratching my head as I watch things get personal and the ultimate goal of brotherhood and quitting gets lost.
Ultimately though it is all about ME and I have to make me #1 and not worry about stepping in a pile of #2. Could I do this by myself now? Maybe, but thats a huge risk that I don't think Im ready for. Just like I chose to quit, I chose to stay on KTC and soak up the positive and "leave the rest". Soaking up the good stuff is easy, ignoring the negative and "leaving the rest" is harder than I thought for some reason. Maybe that will get easier with time too...
-
Being member 1 or member 16,000 doesn't make any difference, an addict is an addict. I remember when Ray Ray caved at 800 plus days and I was fucking dumbstruck. I was shook when SWJ, Lawenforcer, others caved. Made me feel like I was walking on a razor's edge between quit and using. I tore up cavers because of it. No reason to let a cave effect you. Your quitting for you after all right? Your not a lemming, so don't start thinking about following others off the cliff.
I learned some things watching people fail , I'll pass that on as best I know how
Wisdom I have accepted ;
This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.
If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.
The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.
The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemd to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.
The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.
Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.
It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.
The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.
The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.
When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.
All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.
THIS is the type of stufff I like to read from the vets of ktc. It helps me and strengthens my quit, almost lets me know I'm still on the right path as sometimes the trail of bread crums gets hard to follow. Im 180 days quit but still look up to many of the "long timers" and find their words most helpful. Some of the other drama I read on here tonight does not. In fact it almost weakens my quit and gets me scratching my head as I watch things get personal and the ultimate goal of brotherhood and quitting gets lost.
Ultimately though it is all about ME and I have to make me #1 and not worry about stepping in a pile of #2. Could I do this by myself now? Maybe, but thats a huge risk that I don't think Im ready for. Just like I chose to quit, I chose to stay on KTC and soak up the positive and "leave the rest". Soaking up the good stuff is easy, ignoring the negative and "leaving the rest" is harder than I thought for some reason. Maybe that will get easier with time too...
Damn that was well said! thank you for sharing Skoal Monster.
-
Being member 1 or member 16,000 doesn't make any difference, an addict is an addict. I remember when Ray Ray caved at 800 plus days and I was fucking dumbstruck. I was shook when SWJ, Lawenforcer, others caved. Made me feel like I was walking on a razor's edge between quit and using. I tore up cavers because of it. No reason to let a cave effect you. Your quitting for you after all right? Your not a lemming, so don't start thinking about following others off the cliff.
I learned some things watching people fail , I'll pass that on as best I know how
Wisdom I have accepted ;
This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.
If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.
The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.
The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemd to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.
The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.
Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.
It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.
The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.
The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.
When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.
All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.
THIS is the type of stufff I like to read from the vets of ktc. It helps me and strengthens my quit, almost lets me know I'm still on the right path as sometimes the trail of bread crums gets hard to follow. Im 180 days quit but still look up to many of the "long timers" and find their words most helpful. Some of the other drama I read on here tonight does not. In fact it almost weakens my quit and gets me scratching my head as I watch things get personal and the ultimate goal of brotherhood and quitting gets lost.
Ultimately though it is all about ME and I have to make me #1 and not worry about stepping in a pile of #2. Could I do this by myself now? Maybe, but thats a huge risk that I don't think Im ready for. Just like I chose to quit, I chose to stay on KTC and soak up the positive and "leave the rest". Soaking up the good stuff is easy, ignoring the negative and "leaving the rest" is harder than I thought for some reason. Maybe that will get easier with time too...
Damn that was well said! thank you for sharing Skoal Monster.
Gentlemen - this is by far the best thing I've read on KTC. It needs to go to words of wisdom. Skoal, thank you my friend... That was a grand fucking slam.
I can usually take 1 thing from a post, put it in my tool box. You just gave me a whole friggin set.
"The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit."
"A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it. "
"It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again."
Thank you skoal for giving USEFUL support..
'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
-
Being member 1 or member 16,000 doesn't make any difference, an addict is an addict. I remember when Ray Ray caved at 800 plus days and I was fucking dumbstruck. I was shook when SWJ, Lawenforcer, others caved. Made me feel like I was walking on a razor's edge between quit and using. I tore up cavers because of it. No reason to let a cave effect you. Your quitting for you after all right? Your not a lemming, so don't start thinking about following others off the cliff.
I learned some things watching people fail , I'll pass that on as best I know how
Wisdom I have accepted ;
This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.
If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.
The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.
The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemd to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.
The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.
Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.
It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.
The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.
The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.
When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.
All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.
SkoalMonster. Congratulations on 4 years of quit. That is a milestone. One brick at a time you have built a fortress of quit. Thank you for leaving a legacy on this site. This simple quote will reside in my wallet and I will read it often. You have put together a playbook for my quit and for the quit of others and for that I am thankful.
Ryan, day 26
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
Perfect Post.
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
Perfect Post.
Awesomness!!!
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
Perfect Post.
Awesomness!!!
Monster speaks the truth!
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
Perfect Post.
Awesomness!!!
Monster speaks the truth!
The Cookie Monster would be proud!
-
The logic of nicotine replacement therapy applied to other shit
I will quit banging hookers by switching to different hookers (Red Heads)
I will stop snoring by switching sides of the bed
I will stop drinking Whisky by switching to older Whisky.
I will QUIT booze altogether by only drinking mouth wash
I will lose weight by switching from pecan pie to chocolate lava cake
Ripping Duct tape off a Orangutan or a wax strip off your mother in laws ass mustache should be done slooooooooooooow to prevent any pain and to prolong the experience.
When catching your junk in your zipper, it is best to take as long as possible to unattach ones parts from the teeth of the zipper. Of course, unzipping one tooth at a time, over a period of hours and days is the proper method. While this prolongs the pain horribly, it helps Free Willy. Much easier than getting it over in a single excruciating, but brief moment.
You can put lipstick and a hat on a pig, and call it Sue, but it's still a pig. You can buy your nicotine from a pharmacy, or a gas station. You can smoke it electronically, snus it, chew it, snort it, put it on a patch, a lozenge, or in a nasal spray, it's still nicotine. Those are all just delivery methods for the same drug.
Can you use Copenhagen to quit chewing skoal? Yes, but big deal. Use skoal to quit smoking? use smoking to quit chewing? use the gum to quit smoking? use the patch to quit the gum? Your still using nicotine.
Weaning off? ever try to just chew less? how'd that work out? Same theory. Different method of delivery
More than 90% of all long term successful quits are cold turkey. Doesn't that say it all?
NRT has never been approved for quitting chewing, no study shows any proof that NRT can help a chewer quit. NO DATA.
NRT is bullshit, plain and simple. It is just big Pharm dealing nicotine in a doctor reccommended manner. Those who quit while using NRT are successful in spite of it not because of it.
God I Love You.......
FUCK YESSSSSSS.......
KA-POWWWWWWW
Nice! Funny how we try to rationalize our weakness instead of staring it in the face and telling it to go FUCK YOURSELF!
QLAFM
Perfect Post.
Awesomness!!!
Monster speaks the truth!
The Cookie Monster would be proud!
Dig it. Keep on bringing the gospel, SM.
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth. A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth. A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth. A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
And why do you and your brother want the sheep in the first place lmao 'crackup'
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth. A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
And why do you and your brother want the sheep in the first place lmao
'crackup'
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
You really went to the strip club with a horrible hangover and while transporting baby sheep? I like your style!!
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
So where are these porn stars now?
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
So where are these porn stars now?
Sheep are happy out on the family farm, the truck has been detailed twice and I'm starting to like the smell. At 42 I realize that ....... I make baaaaaaaad decisions....
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
So where are these porn stars now?
Sheep are happy out on the family farm, the truck has been detailed twice and I'm starting to like the smell. At 42 I realize that ....... I make baaaaaaaad decisions....
'crackup' great story sm! Almost spewed coffee all over my computer screen....
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
So where are these porn stars now?
Sheep are happy out on the family farm, the truck has been detailed twice and I'm starting to like the smell. At 42 I realize that ....... I make baaaaaaaad decisions....
'crackup' great story sm! Almost spewed coffee all over my computer screen....
God I hope that is realy because I just about lost my shit all over the keyboard this morning... I'm just glad no one was around so I didnt have to explain that story outloud.... 'crackup' 'crackup' Moreover, don't blame the maker's mark... I fucking shower in that shit...
-
"Put the sheep in a couple of dog crates and put em in the back seat"
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
For starters,
Don't go out and drink 8 Makers Marks the night before hauling the sheep. While giving me courage to contend with the cat sized caterwauling puff balls it also gave me a top 10 career hangover.Â
I cant properly describe what a car full of wet sheep stuffed in dog crates smells like after 8 hours when you have the windows closed because of rain. I have never been more miserable. Sheep are loud when they're hungry, and when they relieved themselves in the crates........... there was vomit. I tried to drown myself by hanging my head out the window in the rain and opening my mouth, but no luck, I mostly lived. I've decided Makers Marks are out.
Don't go to the Strip Club.
If Klark Griswald decorated a doublewide trailer and all the strippers looked like Elvis after a meth bender, it would be Planet Lockwood. I fell in love. She had a moustache and could carry a bale of hay under each arm and swing around the pole just holding on with her teeth.  A muscle dude called me Dougie Howser....... I called him my bitch and threw a dollar at him. My brother decided we should go. Strip clubs are out.
Don't stop to feed the sheep.
You ever watch two grown men bottle feed 6 baby sheep outside the rest area bathroom? One guy has to clamp the shit stained noisy little bundle of sweaters in a full nelson while the other stands in front of it with a bottle shoved in its grass muncher. From 25 feet out it was hard to see the sheep. I didn't realize that everybody staring at us could just see one dude on his knees in front of another dude who was holding something at waist level. I thought they all just liked baby sheep. Perverts. In retrospect.... loudly saying " just take it" , " put it in your mouth you fuzzy bastard" " suck on it" probably confused people who couldn't actually see the sheep.
After 8 hours in sheepy hell we arrived home. My wife gagged from a distance of 3 feet when I opened the car door. Next week she said I can come back inside.
Please tell me this is not a real story...OMG I would have loved to see this sight. I am not sure where you come from but don't they have pick up trucks out there. This is a great read I am not sure if I wanna party with you cowboy or not...
'chief' That's all I have to say on this matter. 'crackup'
Hell, I'd rather build a chicken coop..............
So where are these porn stars now?
Sheep are happy out on the family farm, the truck has been detailed twice and I'm starting to like the smell. At 42 I realize that ....... I make baaaaaaaad decisions....
'crackup' great story sm! Almost spewed coffee all over my computer screen....
God I hope that is realy because I just about lost my shit all over the keyboard this morning... I'm just glad no one was around so I didnt have to explain that story outloud.... 'crackup' 'crackup' Moreover, don't blame the maker's mark... I fucking shower in that shit...
Thank you! 'crackup'
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
-
Well said my friend.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
thoughts prayers for you your loss skoal.. quit with you everyday..
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
thoughts prayers for you your loss skoal.. quit with you everyday..
My heart aches reading this. I don't know Billy but I had a "Billy" in my life. Witnessing the decline and not being able to stop it....It hurts. There isn't comfort in this but you are not alone.
Resolved to be quit with you. I guess how we help is living quit and proving that it can and should be done.....Thanks for sharing your experience.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
thoughts prayers for you your loss skoal.. quit with you everyday..
My heart aches reading this. I don't know Billy but I had a "Billy" in my life. Witnessing the decline and not being able to stop it....It hurts. There isn't comfort in this but you are not alone.
Resolved to be quit with you. I guess how we help is living quit and proving that it can and should be done.....Thanks for sharing your experience.
I watched my friend Tommy fall as well battling demons.
You don't want to be fighting for your life while battling withdrawals. You will be flanked. You will lose.
Prayers my friend.
-
Sorry to hear for sure SM, prayers sent up for sure
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
thoughts prayers for you your loss skoal.. quit with you everyday..
My heart aches reading this. I don't know Billy but I had a "Billy" in my life. Witnessing the decline and not being able to stop it....It hurts. There isn't comfort in this but you are not alone.
Resolved to be quit with you. I guess how we help is living quit and proving that it can and should be done.....Thanks for sharing your experience.
I watched my friend Tommy fall as well battling demons.
You don't want to be fighting for your life while battling withdrawals. You will be flanked. You will lose.
Prayers my friend.
Deeply sorry for your loss SM. Can't say anything else about it other that I'm quit, and I'm glad you quit and leading the way for many others.
-
My friend Billy died of liver failure today, he wasn't even 40, and he did it to himself.
I wish I could say" I don't understand how a person could continue to abuse a substance they know is killing them."
But I do.............. and if your here, I suspect you do too.
It isn't the addiction itself that is the problem. It is the difficulty in finally accepting that your an addict, and living with that reality.
Stop pretending you have control, stop lying to yourself and just admit that you look at the world thru nicotine colored glasses. Using nicotine is suicide on the installment plan, stop ignoring that fact.
 Let go. You don't need it. You have been strong your whole life in spite of nicotine not because of it.
You deserve better than dying young in a hospital bed still craving the drug that killed you.
There is no" just one" , I cannot control my use of nicotine. I am an addict. I accept this.
Lean into the fall my friends, life can be amazing without nicotine. It's just a matter of choice.
sM
I am moved. I am humbled. I am proud to quit with you. Thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Yes, perfectly written. I surrender.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Praying for you today.
Leaning into the fall.
sorry for your loss SM, well written and heart felt...
Proud to be quit with you sM. Prayers sent.
I'm Kubrick and I'm a nicotine addict even though I have not ingested any for 531 days.
That's why I come here each and every day. To remind myself that I will always be one, but I don't have to give in. Not today.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's tough to watch someone do that to themselves when there is nothing you can do.
Sorry for your loss. I appreciate your taking the time to share it with us. Quit on, SM
thoughts prayers for you your loss skoal.. quit with you everyday..
My heart aches reading this. I don't know Billy but I had a "Billy" in my life. Witnessing the decline and not being able to stop it....It hurts. There isn't comfort in this but you are not alone.
Resolved to be quit with you. I guess how we help is living quit and proving that it can and should be done.....Thanks for sharing your experience.
I watched my friend Tommy fall as well battling demons.
You don't want to be fighting for your life while battling withdrawals. You will be flanked. You will lose.
Prayers my friend.
Deeply sorry for your loss SM. Can't say anything else about it other that I'm quit, and I'm glad you quit and leading the way for many others.
I am sorry for your loss SM. Addiction is a nasty beast and damn does it hurt when it takes someone we care about.
Thanks for helping me to understand my addiction better. Your words have impacted my quit profoundly. Some of the posts on your intro stop me in my tracks. Nicotine's end game and your duck blind story was a life changer for me.
Even in the midst of your grief, you reach out to help others. Your words have far reaching impact that you probably don't fully realize. I am damn proud to be quit with you today.
-
I didn't know I wasn't me........................................ until I quit for awhile.
My entire adult life was spent dipping , scheming, avoiding. Today that time is spent more wisely.
Learning who I am without nicotine is amazing, I'm still learning. I'm loving the freedom.
Almost 5 years out....... I still post roll. I still find strength here.
The battles are all forgotten now and quitting seems so easy in hindsight. My own illusions of addiction were shattered one by one by the quitters around me. I owe my quit to KTC.
This place is a light house for those desperate to find their way out of the storm of addiction. I'm glad I saw the beacon, I hope you see it too.
-
I didn't know I wasn't me........................................ until I quit for awhile.
My entire adult life was spent dipping , scheming, avoiding. Today that time is spent more wisely.
Learning who I am without nicotine is amazing, I'm still learning. I'm loving the freedom.
Almost 5 years out....... I still post roll. I still find strength here.
The battles are all forgotten now and quitting seems so easy in hindsight. My own illusions of addiction were shattered one by one by the quitters around me. I owe my quit to KTC.
This place is a light house for those desperate to find their way out of the storm of addiction. I'm glad I saw the beacon, I hope you see it too.
Thank You SM, I needed to hear that today!
-
I didn't know I wasn't me........................................ until I quit for awhile.
My entire adult life was spent dipping , scheming, avoiding. Today that time is spent more wisely.
Learning who I am without nicotine is amazing, I'm still learning. I'm loving the freedom.
Almost 5 years out....... I still post roll. I still find strength here.Â
The battles are all forgotten now and quitting seems so easy in hindsight. My own illusions of addiction were shattered one by one by the quitters around me. I owe my quit to KTC.Â
This place is a light house for those desperate to find their way out of the storm of addiction. I'm glad I saw the beacon, I hope you see it too.
Thank You SM, I needed to hear that today!
Awesome post SM. Short and simple, yet profound. I hope that you know you are one of the lighthouse keepers. You may only work a few shifts per year but I am damn glad that you showed up for work when I was seeking a way out. That was 300 days ago.
Thank you.
Ryan
-
I didn't know I wasn't me........................................ until I quit for awhile.
My entire adult life was spent dipping , scheming, avoiding. Today that time is spent more wisely.
Learning who I am without nicotine is amazing, I'm still learning. I'm loving the freedom.
Almost 5 years out....... I still post roll. I still find strength here.Â
The battles are all forgotten now and quitting seems so easy in hindsight. My own illusions of addiction were shattered one by one by the quitters around me. I owe my quit to KTC.Â
This place is a light house for those desperate to find their way out of the storm of addiction. I'm glad I saw the beacon, I hope you see it too.
Thank You SM, I needed to hear that today!
Awesome post SM. Short and simple, yet profound. I hope that you know you are one of the lighthouse keepers. You may only work a few shifts per year but I am damn glad that you showed up for work when I was seeking a way out. That was 300 days ago.
Thank you.
Ryan
SM that has to be one of the best comparisons that I have seen made for this site.
The beacon of the lighthouse. A place that shows the light to the oncomming boats so that they can steer clear of obstacles. So that they can find their way to a safe haven. The lighthouse is there to provide that light but it is still those who are out there to look for it and then to follow its guidance.
I too am glad that people like yourself have been keeping that light glowing so bright for so long as it too brought me forward and led me to the path that I could follow not only to start my quit but to then maintain that quit for now coming up on 500 days.
I am proud to help keep that beacon burning bright for those to follow. And will be right beside you until it is no more....
-
Five of em.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
-
Congrats on the Five!
I'm brand spanking new here, but just read this entire thread this afternoon.
This should be required reading for newbies. If ANY lurker read this, he'd be quit instantly!
Thanks for sharing your talent, SM!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
Great job SM. An inspiration to many. Congrats man.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
Great job SM. An inspiration to many. Congrats man.
Well Done Brother!!!
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
Great job SM. An inspiration to many. Congrats man.
Well Done Brother!!!
Thanks for the inspiration and congrats on the 5 years of freedom.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
Great job SM. An inspiration to many. Congrats man.
Well Done Brother!!!
Thanks for the inspiration and congrats on the 5 years of freedom.
Congrats sM. You have had an influence on a lot of quits.
-
Five of em.
Congrats Skoal Monster!
Congrats on 5 years bro! Proud to be quit with you today!!!
prolific quitdom!
The best!
congrats sM you are a Quit Beast!
Congratulations Skoalmonster. 5 years of healing. You are now halfway to having the cancer risk equal to that of a person who has never used. Scary thought. Thanks for sticking around. I draw strength from your posts. Keep them coming.
'oh yeah' 'oh yeah'
5 years is badass, Congrats!
Love it. Glad you stuck with your quit and this site. You have been a great teacher and leader in battling this addiction.
SM - congratulations from someone who is damn proud to have you have walked these halls giving the rest of us someone we can follow.
thanks for what you do here
Thank you and congrats! What they all said^^^^
Great work!!!!
You were one of the first peeps to reach out to me when I was on the ropes and struggling. You kept my quit going and hope alive.
You can't unforget shit like that, and I NEVER will.
Quit on...
Gratties sM. The image of the dead policeman will forever haunt me. Thanks for sticking around.
Great job SM. An inspiration to many. Congrats man.
Well Done Brother!!!
Thanks for the inspiration and congrats on the 5 years of freedom.
Congrats sM. You have had an influence on a lot of quits.
Inspiration for sure, that is a lot of ODAAT's! Awesome!
-
"Gwynn had two operations for cancer in his right cheek between August 2010 and February 2012. The second surgery was complicated, with surgeons removing a facial nerve because it was intertwined with a tumor inside his right cheek. They grafted a nerve from Gwynn's neck to help him eventually regain facial movement.
Gwynn had said he believed the cancer was from chewing tobacco."
Stay Quit Gentlemen.
-
"Gwynn had two operations for cancer in his right cheek between August 2010 and February 2012. The second surgery was complicated, with surgeons removing a facial nerve because it was intertwined with a tumor inside his right cheek. They grafted a nerve from Gwynn's neck to help him eventually regain facial movement.
Gwynn had said he believed the cancer was from chewing tobacco."
Stay Quit Gentlemen.
ODAAT and NAFAR...never forgetting Day1.
The poison takes another. KTC gets more quitters everyday....one day the poison will be illegal. Just like heroin. Fuck nic and all who promote her, period
-
Bump. Hey new guys, you can't go wrong reading a thread like this.
-
Bump. Hey new guys, you can't go wrong reading a thread like this.
You'll never build the taj mahal of chicken coops in your freakin drivaway, eitha. 'archer'
-
Bump. Hey new guys, you can't go wrong reading a thread like this.
You'll never build the taj mahal of chicken coops in your freakin drivaway, eitha. 'archer'
Back to the top today. Skoal Monster is a good read for sure, you can't argue with 5+ years of quit!
'arse'
-
Bump. Hey new guys, you can't go wrong reading a thread like this.
You'll never build the taj mahal of chicken coops in your freakin drivaway, eitha. 'archer'
Back to the top today. Skoal Monster is a good read for sure, you can't argue with 5+ years of quit!
'arse'
The best writer on the site.
-
Back
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
I guess I'll just keep on moving (http://i.imgur.com/NxgI5.gif)
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
"I'm not a role model"
~Skoal "Charles Barkley" Monster~
Good lessons in here for the newbies, post roll until you don't feel like you have to anymore. 'Crazy'
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
-
fixed where i bumped puke face
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
-
fixed where i bumped puke face
If you see puke posting, give him a few minutes to complete his novel 'winker' before you post.
-
fixed where i bumped puke face
If you see puke posting, give him a few minutes to complete his novel 'winker' before you post.
Thanks.
That was on the phone too bitches
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
I think the discussion should happen here. The intros are where we talk about this stuff.
I certainly don't think Skoal Monster is a hypocrite. I would hope that at some point in my future I will be in a position to take a sabbatical and be quit today.
My only issue is that the comment "... no more danger of me caving" implies that one is cured. If we have not learned anything from this site, we surely have learned that as an addict you are never cured. You are always at some level or risk to return to your old ways... the more time under your belt than I would suggest that you are at a lower risk.
Does someone still need to be posting roll at day 6,000??? Maybe, maybe not.... Guess it depends.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
Thanks bro, but that was Wastepanel's post.
Give props.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
Still fucking here too isn't he? Aren't we?
Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage?
Yep, just sometimes we all need to check the owners manual to make sure we are still doing it right.
On another note, a Gortex outside of May14 could possibly open a black hole.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
Still fucking here too isn't he? Aren't we?
Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage?
Yep, just sometimes we all need to check the owners manual to make sure we are still doing it right.
On another note, a Gortex outside of May14 could possibly open a black hole.
CopeWithoutcope- will you post roll call until the die you die? If not, HOW and when do you intend to move on?
Posting EDD saved my life early on. As I said it was mission critical. and yet......
There has to be a point where you internalize that daily promise right? I'm just playing devils advocate here so don't get your panties in a bunch. This IS about quitting
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
What's going on is everyone has differing opinions.
So sM or anyone else for that matter is only a "guru" if they are here every single day? Words of guys who have been quit 5+ years, written 2 years ago, don't matter now because they are now only posting once a month?
Ktc helped save my life and I will forever be gteatful to the site and the people.
Over time I will NEVER loose track of the FACT that I am an addict. It's burned into my brain permanently, and I know it's something I will never "beat" or be "cured" of.
However, also over time I may not feel the need to come here every single day. As of now I'm still here quite a bit, but I've definitely faded away compared to what I used to do. My quit however has not faded one bit. It's strong as ever.
I'll quit every single day, one day at a time. No matter the time or place.
-
Guys: why worry about it?
Today is all that matters. Tomorrow means shit if we overlook today.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
Dang...there is a pretty well reasoned, rational response.
Geddafugouddahere!!!!
'winker'
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
-
Guys: why worry about it?
Today is all that matters. Tomorrow means shit if we overlook today.
Exactly. Priority one, quit. Priority two, unleash freedom upon Belgium. Murica
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
-
“The next major fact about quitting is that when we quit alone we are extremely vulnerable, but when we build accountability with each other our strength grows exponentially.” Keddy
“That slave still exists inside of each of us. She is waiting for you to slip, but this place can be your defense.” BG
“Three of my uncles died of cancer. Their brother (my father) died last year of cancer. My grandfathers died of cancer. My great aunt and uncle died of cancer. My sister got cancer (in remission) my mother is dying right now of cancer. I thought I would dodge that bullet. So far, I have.” NOLAQ
“Posting Roll - I choose to post roll every day. It's as normal as taking a dump or having a cup of coffee. Why do I continue to do this well into my 5th year of freedom from this addiction? For you newbies out there, I'll tell you.
1. I do it for myself. I know from being around this site for so long that posting roll is the cornerstone of a person's quit. It is EVERYTHING in the beginning and is a sense of comfort as you progress years into your quit. I'm 99.99% sure that I will NEVER, EVER use tobacco again. I keep coming back for that 0.01% because I know if I make that simple promise each day then I can and will remain free. I know you guys will hold me accountable. The only people that I know that cave are people that quit posting roll. It is that simple. I won't be one of those people.
2. Pay it back... you've heard the story a hundred times but i REALLY suffered in trying to quit this shit. I sincerely want to help someone else. I remember those days and how horrible they were. This site is the ONLY thing that made me successful in my quit. I OWE it something and that something is trying to be a very, very small piece of that amazing web of support and help.
3. Many of the closest friends that I have made in my life are in here.
Some of them I haven't even met in person. That sense of brotherhood is a big reason that I remain....
Whatever YOUR reasons for posting roll are I hope you continue to do it. In the early weeks/months of your quit it will be the MOST important thing you do each day. As you progress, I hope you see the value of continuing on. If not I'm sure I'll see you back in here with your tail between your legs as a caver and pure example of what happens when you quit posting roll. That one small gest of posting roll that takes less than a minute a day can and will be the breaking line of if some of you make it or not.
Don't take the chance. Post up....”
My promise is here today in the form of a simple phrase:
TCOPE = 1900... today I promise not to use tobacco. One day at a time....
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
"Im too drunk to taste this chicken"- col sanders
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
Peace with it all.........
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
Up above, tcope talks about payback. I owe this place a great debt.
I was accountable to myself for 25 years and it didn't mean squat. Now, here, with you all, it means everything. At some point, I guess the story is less about us and more about them.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Valid point Waste.
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Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
TCope talks about payback above. You're an asset to the guy trembling while they dump the last can of poison and to the 2 year guy who thinks he's got his shit together. Personal accountability wasn't my strong suit through 25 years of usage. This place and you folks helped changed that. I will pay that back so long as I'm able... I don't have any answers about what comes next but today you know and I know, we're quit (assuming you posted).
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This is a very interesting topic. I do have one question, but this may be the wrong place to ask. However, I will fire away. In every addiction program I have seen, there is always the point at which you send someone "back into the world", so to speak. I understand how important accountability is in keeping quit, but at what point is a person stable enough to "cut the cord" from the roll call? I get that it is the foundation and what keeps people quit, but at some point, after 1,000's of days, wouldn't it be fair to say your quit becomes dependent on this site? Is there a life away from roll call or is this it for the nicotine addicts that find their way here. I am just curious as to how the veterans view moving on from the days of roll call, or if staying on roll call for a lifetime is the answer. I guess there really is no right way to answer this and the opinions will vary. Alas, I am still curious about what you all think of this topic as I have been pondering it this week.
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This is a very interesting topic. I do have one question, but this may be the wrong place to ask. However, I will fire away. In every addiction program I have seen, there is always the point at which you send someone "back into the world", so to speak. I understand how important accountability is in keeping quit, but at what point is a person stable enough to "cut the cord" from the roll call? I get that it is the foundation and what keeps people quit, but at some point, after 1,000's of days, wouldn't it be fair to say your quit becomes dependent on this site? Is there a life away from roll call or is this it for the nicotine addicts that find their way here. I am just curious as to how the veterans view moving on from the days of roll call, or if staying on roll call for a lifetime is the answer. I guess there really is no right way to answer this and the opinions will vary. Alas, I am still curious about what you all think of this topic as I have been pondering it this week.
I come from a long line of addicts: 1) some who found their savior in the Big Book and lived it - meetings after 40 years sober, sponsoring young alky's, giving me shit for sneaking a beer or two, etc. 2) others who jumped in fresh off a bender and lived it for years, then got "cured" and walked away just to find a bottle again (repeat this cycle every so often) and 3) others who found their salvation through God, family, and therapy and have been years clean and sober with no outside accountability.
I used to think about that very question early in my quit. It is a great question, and someday I hope to be able to answer it. But thing is, every time I started to imagine that magical day 5, 8, 10 years when I could break all past bonds with my addiction (like 3 above) and just walk away I would get smacked in the face with how long of a time that is. I would think back to my father (see 2 above) and get nervous. Ultimately, for me, group 1 is what works now. Today, I needed to post roll and lend whatever hand I could to a new quitter.
When it comes to my addiction, forever scares the bejeesus out of me. I am starting to think in weeks instead of days, like when I go on vacation next week I have no doubt I could "unplug" and be clean as a whistle. I wont, because I have seen first hand the trap. I think I see what SM is saying, and maybe someday we all get there. But how many days/months/years will that take? No clue. If I aint there by the time my scale is balanced (5475 days at a minimum) I will revisit.
I do know there is no chance I would be at 1255 without daily accountability and the brotherhood this site and these low down dirty bastards (the 3 ballers especially) provided me.
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This is a very interesting topic. I do have one question, but this may be the wrong place to ask. However, I will fire away. In every addiction program I have seen, there is always the point at which you send someone "back into the world", so to speak. I understand how important accountability is in keeping quit, but at what point is a person stable enough to "cut the cord" from the roll call? I get that it is the foundation and what keeps people quit, but at some point, after 1,000's of days, wouldn't it be fair to say your quit becomes dependent on this site? Is there a life away from roll call or is this it for the nicotine addicts that find their way here. I am just curious as to how the veterans view moving on from the days of roll call, or if staying on roll call for a lifetime is the answer. I guess there really is no right way to answer this and the opinions will vary. Alas, I am still curious about what you all think of this topic as I have been pondering it this week.
I think we all have to answer that for ourselves. I will say that long term success rates of those who post for a year is closer to 50%. This beats any program I've seen. I will also say I wasn't ready to leave at the 1,000 day mark. Some will tell you, ( including me) that 100% of daily posters stay quit.
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I love discussing this topic. I love this site. I am challenged. I am unsure of myself. One day at a time is all that I know right now. at this moment in time the thought of dip disgusts me and is very far from my mind. But I know myself way too well. 6 beers and a few weeks away from the site could definitely change that. quit on gentlemen.
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I started this out this morning calling your post BS. I stand by that.
You say that your post is similar to addict speak... I would say that it is addict speak.
If no one can say anything about this post because someone is 2000 days quit... then why are you all here. Be a leader and quit listening to BS.
Don't get me wrong... I understand that you are in a better place. But you are still an addict. You will never be cured.
You sound like an addict that has been quit 2k days and now thinks he has it all figured out. You are now beyond us. Can someone make a similar BS post if they are 600 days quit, or 1000 days quit? What is the landmark for making this sort of claim?
What is next? Wake up tomorrow, admit your an addict, admit you are at risk to cave, make a promise to quit and then quit. I don't care if you are 1 day, 2 days, 30 days, 100 days, 1000 days or 20000 days. That is how it works. Saying anything other than that is garbage.
I am moving on from this intro page. This is polluting the heads of people trying to get their lives back.
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I started this out this morning calling your post BS. I stand by that.
You say that your post is similar to addict speak... I would say that it is addict speak.
If no one can say anything about this post because someone is 2000 days quit... then why are you all here. Be a leader and quit listening to BS.
Don't get me wrong... I understand that you are in a better place. But you are still an addict. You will never be cured.
You sound like an addict that has been quit 2k days and now thinks he has it all figured out. You are now beyond us. Can someone make a similar BS post if they are 600 days quit, or 1000 days quit? What is the landmark for making this sort of claim?
What is next? Wake up tomorrow, admit your an addict, admit you are at risk to cave, make a promise to quit and then quit. I don't care if you are 1 day, 2 days, 30 days, 100 days, 1000 days or 20000 days. That is how it works. Saying anything other than that is garbage.
I am moving on from this intro page. This is polluting the heads of people trying to get their lives back.
By all means let's have this conversation....because I know what is forced down newbies throats....roll call every damn day, accountability and involvement with the group, exchange numbers and getting to know one another. Are you telling me all of that is false, that I can decide when I'm cured? I believe we call those people Special Fucking Butterflies. To change the tune of posting roll every damn day after 2,000 days is downright irresponsible and isn't something I, nor anyone else on KTC should adhere to. If your opinion doesn't involve the basic concept of KTC, keep it the fuck to yourself.
p.s. Nice job distracting from the Battlefield thread SM....
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I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
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Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
I'm down!
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
I'm down!
10 Sept 2006 .... I will remember that day and those who I met in a chat room that didn't know me and wouldn't believe the news I had to tell them ... it will be 8 years since that date on 10 Sept 2014 ... i will be Quit 21 years one week before that date on 03 Sept 2014 ...
I post roll to honor my brother and to honor the commitment I made to those friends and to remind myself that no amount of nicotine in any way , shape or form will change my path ... Take what you need and leave the rest ... I know when I read some of the things here it could affect me in a positive or a negative way but the one thing that remains constant is that I post Roll and I have my Brothers and sisters back whenever it is needed ... Opinions are your own and interjecting them into what is right and what is wrong is pure speculation ... there is nothing else that matters but to do what works for you ... posting Roll works for me ... period
B.ig B.rother J.ack
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
I'm down!
I'm in only because I've always wanted to go streaking. I would appreciate a 5 minute warning to trim my nut hairs.
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
I know I'm an addict and that I've simply switched from tobacco to food/alcohol. How do I curb the addictive personality? Or do I just channel it to good things besides food and alcohol?
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
I know I'm an addict and that I've simply switched from tobacco to food/alcohol. How do I curb the addictive personality? Or do I just channel it to good things besides food and alcohol?
Sent you a PM bro. There is so much help out there! You're about to have some great information and start liking yourself and be proud of your progress!
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
I know I'm an addict and that I've simply switched from tobacco to food/alcohol. How do I curb the addictive personality? Or do I just channel it to good things besides food and alcohol?
MThomas just so eloquently put, well described.
This is one of the portions of which I fight with. Have documented here my weight gain from when I quit....and subsequently have lost since I replaced a little of the void with exercise (a positive influence).
As to the other end, and this is in my opinion only, I look to one of the key aspects of the site. The word Brotherhood. How much more positive can you get in replacing an addition when you add this into its place.
It is also why how many numbers do we have in our phones? I have been lax at it, but I am working on it where now I don't only want to send numbers of my quit day to others, or just text when I see someone is down. No, I need to start to incorporate this Brotherhood into life. Call and see how one is doing with their kids. Or talk about the latest trade in the NFL, or any thing other than quit. That to me is living the quit not just being quit. Replace the poison with the relationships that matter,
Now I am at 2 years. I can be slow, I can be naïve so I am still new. Am I quit, heck yea, Will I continue to post roll, heck yea, Will I 10 years from now, we will have to see as if I am alive I may, or I may have enough of the right friends that I will still give my word to daily. But that is then and this is now.
back to my castle....
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
I know I'm an addict and that I've simply switched from tobacco to food/alcohol. How do I curb the addictive personality? Or do I just channel it to good things besides food and alcohol?
MThomas just so eloquently put, well described.
This is one of the portions of which I fight with. Have documented here my weight gain from when I quit....and subsequently have lost since I replaced a little of the void with exercise (a positive influence).
As to the other end, and this is in my opinion only, I look to one of the key aspects of the site. The word Brotherhood. How much more positive can you get in replacing an addition when you add this into its place.
It is also why how many numbers do we have in our phones? I have been lax at it, but I am working on it where now I don't only want to send numbers of my quit day to others, or just text when I see someone is down. No, I need to start to incorporate this Brotherhood into life. Call and see how one is doing with their kids. Or talk about the latest trade in the NFL, or any thing other than quit. That to me is living the quit not just being quit. Replace the poison with the relationships that matter,
Now I am at 2 years. I can be slow, I can be naïve so I am still new. Am I quit, heck yea, Will I continue to post roll, heck yea, Will I 10 years from now, we will have to see as if I am alive I may, or I may have enough of the right friends that I will still give my word to daily. But that is then and this is now.
back to my castle....
The best answer is to get to eat steak but it helps to have a cold glass of milk to wash it down! Post roll, keep your word and stay quit. Then when quitting is easy, start working the 12 steps or attend meetings to learn about recovery.
Posting Roll daily and making it routine like brushing your teeth keeps you quit. (Its so easy to do and if you do it daily, you can't fail!)
Being able to be accountable to your family and add them to your roll is graduating and strengthening your quit long term.
One day, if you only quit nicotine, you will never be in recovery and you risk being addicted to something else. I hope none of us move from dipping to something else that is cancer causing, liver killing, heart hardening, or relationship destroying. Always an addict. You are either using or in recovery. (Don't just switch drug of choice and keep the behaviors of lying, denying, excusing, blaming, hating, etc.)
If SM posts daily or now and again, I will never stop posting and use him as and excuse to not post. SM is not KTC. KTC teaches us the way to quit but is up to the individual to act for themselves.
I am accountable to my quit. I have no choice and admit that I am an addict but I choose not to behave like one. If you don't post roll and blame or excuse your behavior is because of SM. You're an addict and you chose not to follow the plan. SM told his personal reasons for his actions but I never read where he gave or encouraged any other quitter to post when they feel like it. So newbies and vets, own your quits and you know what KTC expects of you. I have never regretted any day I posted roll. Well maybe that day I wanted to cave but when I woke and was still quit, I was glad I posted and didn't regret staying quit.
Addicts make excuses and recovering addicts accept and live life on life's terms.
Okay, I'm getting off my soap box. Take what you need and leave the rest.
-
I will not become complacent.
I will not think I ever have this beat.
I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.
I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.
I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.
I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.
I will not forget that I am an addict.
-bigbamadan
Bump this shit too. Everyone seems content on ignoring CWC these days.
This post makes a lot of sense to me and it is not a different conversation!
All right lets have this conversation. Number one, KTC is fantastic, the program works and I for one am posting roll every day. I have said that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Posting roll does keep you quit but it doesn't necessarily put you in recovery. Addicts have two choices, to use or to get into recovery. Recovery is much more than being quit.
Example: (This is Rhetorical because answers will be addict speak) When you quit nicotine, how many of you gained weight, how many of you found yourselves drinking more, looking at more porn, getting prescriptions, how many found that they were bigger assholes to people? You are still an addict, just switched your vice.
Anyone who has gone to AA understands the term "Dry Drunk". This site is full of dry dippers that aren't advancing past posting roll and staying quit. They aren't living life on life's terms. They're relationships are hurting but my fuck they are quit and post roll daily.
Posting roll daily is something I do and I don't plan to change it. Skoal Monster IMO was basically saying that he is still and addict but his accountability, his word, his recovery in quit is advancing. He is accountable to family. In the beginning we couldn't because we failed them so many times. Now we have put so many deposits in our quit bank, quitting and being accountable to my family is possible.
So Elementary to recovery is to quit. Then you hit the hall (Jr High). Then you get to the hurt. (High School) I am still in high school but I'm guessing SM is in College now. (Do you have these conversations on this site? "I've gained 25lbs, I am always drunk, I have so much anxiety and feel like my world is caving in but I am quit!")
I am not saying that SM is right in his explanation. I just think its rude to call someone like him a hypocrite when you guys are still drinking milk and he is eating steak in his quit. Dry dippers better start getting into recovery and meetings. Otherwise people won't care to be around your angry, fat, drunk ass. Look in the mirror dickfaces and advance your quits! Don't stay stuck in elementary. Step by step and always an addict. The goal is to always be recovering and treating your disease of addiction! Don't just change your drug of choice; be it sex, food, drugs, alcohol, or hating.
This doesn't hurt the newbies. Tell them to get to 2k days then decides where they are in their quits. There is so much more to posting roll to be in recovery. Posting roll is the beginning but you angry bastards better start reading about being in recovery from your addiction or you will lose the very relationships you wan't to stick around for.
Mthomas, wow, that is some thought provoking stuff. I am overeating and drinking more since quitting nicotine. Recovery? Where do I get recovery? Seriously.
I know I'm an addict and that I've simply switched from tobacco to food/alcohol. How do I curb the addictive personality? Or do I just channel it to good things besides food and alcohol?
MThomas just so eloquently put, well described.
This is one of the portions of which I fight with. Have documented here my weight gain from when I quit....and subsequently have lost since I replaced a little of the void with exercise (a positive influence).
As to the other end, and this is in my opinion only, I look to one of the key aspects of the site. The word Brotherhood. How much more positive can you get in replacing an addition when you add this into its place.
It is also why how many numbers do we have in our phones? I have been lax at it, but I am working on it where now I don't only want to send numbers of my quit day to others, or just text when I see someone is down. No, I need to start to incorporate this Brotherhood into life. Call and see how one is doing with their kids. Or talk about the latest trade in the NFL, or any thing other than quit. That to me is living the quit not just being quit. Replace the poison with the relationships that matter,
Now I am at 2 years. I can be slow, I can be naïve so I am still new. Am I quit, heck yea, Will I continue to post roll, heck yea, Will I 10 years from now, we will have to see as if I am alive I may, or I may have enough of the right friends that I will still give my word to daily. But that is then and this is now.
back to my castle....
The best answer is to get to eat steak but it helps to have a cold glass of milk to wash it down! Post roll, keep your word and stay quit. Then when quitting is easy, start working the 12 steps or attend meetings to learn about recovery.
Posting Roll daily and making it routine like brushing your teeth keeps you quit. (Its so easy to do and if you do it daily, you can't fail!)
Being able to be accountable to your family and add them to your roll is graduating and strengthening your quit long term.
One day, if you only quit nicotine, you will never be in recovery and you risk being addicted to something else. I hope none of us move from dipping to something else that is cancer causing, liver killing, heart hardening, or relationship destroying. Always an addict. You are either using or in recovery. (Don't just switch drug of choice and keep the behaviors of lying, denying, excusing, blaming, hating, etc.)
If SM posts daily or now and again, I will never stop posting and use him as and excuse to not post. SM is not KTC. KTC teaches us the way to quit but is up to the individual to act for themselves.
I am accountable to my quit. I have no choice and admit that I am an addict but I choose not to behave like one. If you don't post roll and blame or excuse your behavior is because of SM. You're an addict and you chose not to follow the plan. SM told his personal reasons for his actions but I never read where he gave or encouraged any other quitter to post when they feel like it. So newbies and vets, own your quits and you know what KTC expects of you. I have never regretted any day I posted roll. Well maybe that day I wanted to cave but when I woke and was still quit, I was glad I posted and didn't regret staying quit.
Addicts make excuses and recovering addicts accept and live life on life's terms.
Okay, I'm getting off my soap box. Take what you need and leave the rest.
I'm just glad to be alive and a part of KTC. I mean really, I know I would not be quit today maybe not even alive, if it weren't for all of you! SM, MT, CWOC, Diesel, Morganna, all of youse, yins, yall, vets and newbies, period. I mean just today another slave takes his life back...El Capitan. This site saves lives.
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
I'm down!
10 Sept 2006 .... I will remember that day and those who I met in a chat room that didn't know me and wouldn't believe the news I had to tell them ... it will be 8 years since that date on 10 Sept 2014 ... i will be Quit 21 years one week before that date on 03 Sept 2014 ...
I post roll to honor my brother and to honor the commitment I made to those friends and to remind myself that no amount of nicotine in any way , shape or form will change my path ... Take what you need and leave the rest ... I know when I read some of the things here it could affect me in a positive or a negative way but the one thing that remains constant is that I post Roll and I have my Brothers and sisters back whenever it is needed ... Opinions are your own and interjecting them into what is right and what is wrong is pure speculation ... there is nothing else that matters but to do what works for you ... posting Roll works for me ... period
B.ig B.rother J.ack
First, posting roll (2,236) works for me.
Second, there is always a danger of caving. However, some people may be able to find consistent accountability away from the site. I can't imagine ingesting nicotine these days, but I know the possibility is always there. My accountability to 65fl in August 2008 keeps my quit in the forefront. I have 100% confidence that Skoal Monster will keep his quit in the forefront and if/when he sees a chink in his armor, he'll know where to turn.
Third, Skoal Monster is an everlasting douchebag. His taut muscles are flabby, his aviator shades are scratched, and his fishlips are sagging, but he's still a huge fucking douchebag. Full of douchey douchebaggery. FUUF douchebag.
'Finger'
-
Accountibility.
My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.
I am accountable to myself
I am accountable to my wife and kids
I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.
I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.
At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.
Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.
I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .
I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.
'sac' :scowick:
NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????
That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.
However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.
Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.
Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.
Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.
I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.
I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.
I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.
Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.
Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.
I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.
I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.
Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg (http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012/04/6a00d8341c4fe353ef0133f21db7a9970b-800wi.jpg) SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.
sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.
Quits evolve, people evolve.
This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.
You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.
JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.
BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.
sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?
'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.
The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.
My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.
You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.
But you and I are having different discussions.
I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.
Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.
Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.
Accountability is still what keeps me quit.
But I am accountable in a different way now.
You got me here, sm.
Accountability is defined here by having each other's backs in this battle. I love that you have my back, but not all cries of help are blatant or literal. Some are simple ho-hums about philosophy here. Some are drifts. Some are flameouts.
The point is...if you are not here when I need you (and may, in fact, may not want you), how are you holding me accountable? I want to be quit and I'm willing to do anything possible.
This is a very interesting conversation, and I applaud. I am of the belief that roll is key. Every day. I may not have "needed" it today, but I believe that practicing for those bad times will allow me to lean on what I've learned when times are bad.
Listen to this guy quitters...he knows what he preaches, and he's lived it too. I also believe WP owes a debt of gratitude to the person we do not speak of who has left our presence. Roll. Call. Every. Damn. Day. Please....I beg someone to tell me I got this all wrong. The keyboard cowboy is ready to go.
We can say loot's name. He helped me for sure. But loot has not posted EDD. So if you're saying his advice is of no use because he has taken long breaks from roll call, then I disagree.
Of course, I also disagree with NOT posting EDD.
BTW, I love BBD and that quote, but he hasn't been EDD either. Just sayin.
We agree on 100% roll call.
We do. For e'ery damn body. BBJ on down.
That's a damn good start. Anyone else want to jump on this bandwagon? Neither Gmann nor myself are wearing clothes.
I'm your Huckleberry...
I'm down!
10 Sept 2006 .... I will remember that day and those who I met in a chat room that didn't know me and wouldn't believe the news I had to tell them ... it will be 8 years since that date on 10 Sept 2014 ... i will be Quit 21 years one week before that date on 03 Sept 2014 ...
I post roll to honor my brother and to honor the commitment I made to those friends and to remind myself that no amount of nicotine in any way , shape or form will change my path ... Take what you need and leave the rest ... I know when I read some of the things here it could affect me in a positive or a negative way but the one thing that remains constant is that I post Roll and I have my Brothers and sisters back whenever it is needed ... Opinions are your own and interjecting them into what is right and what is wrong is pure speculation ... there is nothing else that matters but to do what works for you ... posting Roll works for me ... period
B.ig B.rother J.ack
First, posting roll (2,236) works for me.
Second, there is always a danger of caving. However, some people may be able to find consistent accountability away from the site. I can't imagine ingesting nicotine these days, but I know the possibility is always there. My accountability to 65fl in August 2008 keeps my quit in the forefront. I have 100% confidence that Skoal Monster will keep his quit in the forefront and if/when he sees a chink in his armor, he'll know where to turn.
Third, Skoal Monster is an everlasting douchebag. His taut muscles are flabby, his aviator shades are scratched, and his fishlips are sagging, but he's still a huge fucking douchebag. Full of douchey douchebaggery. FUUF douchebag.
'Finger'
I was just re-reading my intro, and I wrote this nearly 800 days ago. I still feel the same:
Day 283
I have posted roll everyday for 283 days in October 2011. I have posted roll in multiple other groups as well. Sometimes, I was offering support. Other times, I felt obligated to.
It doesn't matter my reasons. I have done it religiously for 283 days. I have only posted my roll via text during one period of time in that 283 days: when I hopped up on painkillers after my surgery.
I post roll because it is my obligation to keep my quit strong.
Forever is a scary, appealing concept. It is scary because it entails your whole fucking life. Fuck. I'm 34. If I kept all my promises from 20 years ago, I'd be rapping astronaut (that still played Transformers).
We all change.
We put away our toys. We live in reality. We have mortgages.
Our quits have to change with us as well.
Our addicted brains will use this word "Forever" as a sword and as a weak point in our armor.
I am quit today. I am strong as hell in my quit, and I feel like I'll be quit forever. It is beautiful to wake up without sore gums. It is wonderful not have to find my can first thing in the morning because it got shoved down a couch cushion the night before. I can hold meetings without having to pre-plan beforehand, and stuff my face afterwards. I don't have to justify to myself that I should just leave the chew in during the meeting because I'll be calmer.
It's this strength that leads to this statement:
FUCK YOU, YOU NASTY ASS WHORE. YOU WILL NOT PULL A JEDI MIND TRICK ON MY ASS AND HELP ME FORGET AGAIN. I AM FUCKING QUIT. I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME BEFORE AND IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. I POST ROLL EVERYDAY TO KEEP YOUR SHIT OUT OF MY FACE. I WILL DO THIS EVERYDAY, WITHOUT EXCEPTION. IT IS MY DUTY TO MYSELF, MY FAMILY, AND ALL OF MY QUIT BROTHERS TO DO THIS. I DO THIS BECAUSE I HAVE TO. I HAVE TO REMEMBER OR ALL OF THIS IS FOR NAUGHT.
BUT GUESS THE FUCK WHAT? NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO NOT LET YOU HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT EVERY BADASS MOTHER FUCKER THAT WANTS TO STOP SEEING YOUR PATHETIC ASS IS ARMED WITH MY EXPERIENCES. I DO THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO. IT'S BECAUSE I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. I WILL NOT LET YOU CLAIM ANOTHER THAT WANTS TO BE FREE.
SO, GO AHEAD. TELL ME HOW STRONG I AM AND THAT I WASN'T LIKE THIS WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER. IT'S BECAUSE I WASN'T. YOU HELD ME DOWN. YOU MADE ME A SNIVELING LITTLE TURD WITH TURDS STUCK IN HIS LIPS. TELL ME I'LL BE ABLE TO WALK AWAY FROM THE BOARD BECAUSE I'M STRONGER I HAVE XXX DAYS QUIT. FUCK YOU YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT.
I KNOW FUCKING BETTER.
Gentlemen,
If I ever, ever, ever say the words "I won't be posting anymore because...", I want all of you to blow up my phone. I have 60 numbers in my phone, and I want a text from everybody. I want PM's and emails shooting from my computer. I want facebook posts all over my front page asking what day I'm on. I want to have to change telephone numbers in order stick with my decision. I want you guys to be relentless in your pursuit. If I refuse to post on the board, ask for my promise via text.
I'm so tired of reading about vets that are "tired" of posting roll. We tell our new quitters they have to post everyday. Did you miss that speech? What kind of fucking examples are we when we talk about how much of a chore it is to do?
It's not a fucking chore.
It's an honor.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
You guys are fucking heroes for being around here this long.... Since I was a skoal dumbass I will quit with you today!!! Commitment... unbelievable....... Thanks for making our quits stronger!!!
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
You guys are fucking heroes for being around here this long.... Since I was a skoal dumbass I will quit with you today!!! Commitment... unbelievable....... Thanks for making our quits stronger!!!
Agreed.. An inspiration, and thank you for paying it forward.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
You guys are fucking heroes for being around here this long.... Since I was a skoal dumbass I will quit with you today!!! Commitment... unbelievable....... Thanks for making our quits stronger!!!
Agreed.. An inspiration, and thank you for paying it forward.
'oh yeah'
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
You guys are fucking heroes for being around here this long.... Since I was a skoal dumbass I will quit with you today!!! Commitment... unbelievable....... Thanks for making our quits stronger!!!
Agreed.. An inspiration, and thank you for paying it forward.
'oh yeah'
sM2K. Solid shit.
-
Congrats on 2000.
And thanks.
x2. awesome amount of paying it forward.
double comma is bad ass.
Congrats Monster, and thank you for leading the way!
What they said!
Looks like we have a Monster hitting a double comma tomorrow.
Well Done Sir!!!
Skoal monster 2k! Fucking love it.
You guys are fucking heroes for being around here this long.... Since I was a skoal dumbass I will quit with you today!!! Commitment... unbelievable....... Thanks for making our quits stronger!!!
Agreed.. An inspiration, and thank you for paying it forward.
'oh yeah'
sM2K. Solid shit.
Congrats on your 2k SM! Thanks so much for sticking around so I could enjoy freedom too.
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Today
I will remember I am an addict.
I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.
Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.
Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.
Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.
Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction
Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.
Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .
Today I stay quit.
sM.
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Today
I will remember I am an addict.
I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.
Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.
Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.
Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.
Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction
Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.
Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .
Today I stay quit.
sM.
Thank you for posting this today.
-
Today
I will remember I am an addict.
I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.
Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.
Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.
Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.
Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction
Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.
Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .
Today I stay quit.
sM.
Thank you for posting this today.
Seems like a good plan to me.
-
Today
I will remember I am an addict.
I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.
Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.
Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.
Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.
Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction
Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.
Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .
Today I stay quit.
sM.
Thank you for posting this today.
Seems like a good plan to me.
Simple and true. No nicotine for me today. Thanks am
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Today
I will remember I am an addict.
I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.
Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.
Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.
Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.
Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction
Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.
Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .
Today I stay quit.
sM.
Thank you for posting this today.
Seems like a good plan to me.
Simple and true. No nicotine for me today. Thanks am
Congrats on those two K's, SM.