KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dewthejrew on August 28, 2012, 09:17:00 AM
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Well it's actually been two minutes now. This is a really scary moment for me, though like many of you, i've been here before.... the only difference for me is this time is for good!
I'm really going to need some help though. I have struggled with dip, hiding it from the girlfriend, lying to my friends, my family, to her. Come clean about being addicted again. Making excuses that it's too hard, that I know i'm addicted... that maybe this time i'll slowly trickly off the stuff.
I used to be heavily into bodybuilding. I had dipped before, but boot camp killed it for a couple of months. When i got back, bodybuilding, lifting, staying in shape, was my life... Then came the cave. I picked up a can... just one. Appetite died (bad news for a bodybuilder). Weight gained. Confidence dropped, but shit, i have my fucking dip and nothing can take that away.
New girlfriend - hates the dip. Won't kiss me. Causes problems - break up with girl.
PCS - good God i love that dip on the drive. How many cans today? Two. Meh, tomorrow i'll do less. My gums are raw, but hell I'll man up and put another in just to get that fix.
Another new girlfriend. Same thing- hates dip, but sticks around, tries to support even though I have to brush my teeth before getting romantic. I make excuses constantly.
New Job. Big posistion, lots of responsibility. Dip is making me lazy. I have to close the door to my office so that no one knows i'm doing it here... Door is closed more and more frequently- my excuse "i'm working on contracts, I can't have those discussions heard". Fucking lies. :angry:
Try chantix - stop for a month, start back up. Girlfriend is sad for me, but pushes throug. She hold's on as much as she can, dealing with my addiction.
Visit her parents, have a few drinks, no dip in the pocket. I want to go to the grocery store. Girlfriend says no. I lose my mind, cause hell at the house with a mixture of alcohol and nic cravings fueling it. I'm an idiot.
She stays, she loves me.
I gain more weight. I have never been this heavy, fat, depressed, and angry. I keep making excuses.
I'm done. I can't keep this bullshit up. I'm going to quit this fucking bullshit product, get back on my feet, get in the best shape of my life, love my girlfriend and my family like no other.
Fuck you dip. Today I start my war and I'm not going to lose. Cause I'm a cocky, smart, determined motherfucker and you will not win.
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Well it's actually been two minutes now. This is a really scary moment for me, though like many of you, i've been here before.... the only difference for me is this time is for good!
I'm really going to need some help though. I have struggled with dip, hiding it from the girlfriend, lying to my friends, my family, to her. Come clean about being addicted again. Making excuses that it's too hard, that I know i'm addicted... that maybe this time i'll slowly trickly off the stuff.
I used to be heavily into bodybuilding. I had dipped before, but boot camp killed it for a couple of months. When i got back, bodybuilding, lifting, staying in shape, was my life... Then came the cave. I picked up a can... just one. Appetite died (bad news for a bodybuilder). Weight gained. Confidence dropped, but shit, i have my fucking dip and nothing can take that away.
New girlfriend - hates the dip. Won't kiss me. Causes problems - break up with girl.
PCS - good God i love that dip on the drive. How many cans today? Two. Meh, tomorrow i'll do less. My gums are raw, but hell I'll man up and put another in just to get that fix.
Another new girlfriend. Same thing- hates dip, but sticks around, tries to support even though I have to brush my teeth before getting romantic. I make excuses constantly.
New Job. Big posistion, lots of responsibility. Dip is making me lazy. I have to close the door to my office so that no one knows i'm doing it here... Door is closed more and more frequently- my excuse "i'm working on contracts, I can't have those discussions heard". Fucking lies. :angry:
Try chantix - stop for a month, start back up. Girlfriend is sad for me, but pushes throug. She hold's on as much as she can, dealing with my addiction.
Visit her parents, have a few drinks, no dip in the pocket. I want to go to the grocery store. Girlfriend says no. I lose my mind, cause hell at the house with a mixture of alcohol and nic cravings fueling it. I'm an idiot.
She stays, she loves me.
I gain more weight. I have never been this heavy, fat, depressed, and angry. I keep making excuses.
I'm done. I can't keep this bullshit up. I'm going to quit this fucking bullshit product, get back on my feet, get in the best shape of my life, love my girlfriend and my family like no other.
Fuck you dip. Today I start my war and I'm not going to lose. Cause I'm a cocky, smart, determined motherfucker and you will not win.
I see you got posted. Great choice and reasons, stories sound familiar! One big question you said you'd been here before, when and what name? If you are a retread you have questions to answer!! When? Why? What will be different? You should still be using your original name! Remember why your here, read your post often'
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I should have been more clear, "here" refers to the moment where I have decided to quit. I've stopped for a few months over the past 6 years of dipping, never really did it whole heartedly though. I always knew I could go back and never put it in my mind that going back isn't an option.
I've read through the site before, just never took the leap. I'm tired of not being in control. I'm glad I have support now.
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I should have been more clear, "here" refers to the moment where I have decided to quit. I've stopped for a few months over the past 6 years of dipping, never really did it whole heartedly though. I always knew I could go back and never put it in my mind that going back isn't an option.
I've read through the site before, just never took the leap. I'm tired of not being in control. I'm glad I have support now.
1.)Your suppport is your word that you Quit Like Fuck 'Finger' by being here you are in control!!!!!!!!!!!! and we got your back.
2.) You get on this forum and post,read,post,read any time you have an urge
just so you can make it thru the day and night 'zombie' 'zombie' 'zombie'
3.) We all live to post roll in the morning and to confirm that we all Quit Like Fuck 'Finger' for another day.
You will do this but make sure it is about yourself and you to will 'Finger' Quit Like Fuck 'Finger'
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made it through lunch. took a shorter lunch because food is a major trigger for me. also drove a bit faster to work cause dip in the car is by far my favorite time.
i'm not going to lie, my mind is already playin games on me. giving up already has come to thought a few times...
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made it through lunch. took a shorter lunch because food is a major trigger for me. also drove a bit faster to work cause dip in the car is by far my favorite time.
i'm not going to lie, my mind is already playin games on me. giving up already has come to thought a few times...
Im only in day 3, everything seems to trigger it, but i just grab my gum chew the hell out of it, and then find something to keep me busy, in the car was one of my best times to, i blast the radio up, and Pay no mind to the craving, Quit one day at a time... Youll make it
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made it through lunch. took a shorter lunch because food is a major trigger for me. also drove a bit faster to work cause dip in the car is by far my favorite time.
i'm not going to lie, my mind is already playin games on me. giving up already has come to thought a few times...
Im only in day 3, everything seems to trigger it, but i just grab my gum chew the hell out of it, and then find something to keep me busy, in the car was one of my best times to, i blast the radio up, and Pay no mind to the craving, Quit one day at a time... Youll make it
Burn the bridge Dew. Slam the door. Eliminate dip as an option in your life. If dip is not an option, then being quit is the only outcome. The struggle is not as hard if you don't give yourself a choice.
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made it through lunch.  took a shorter lunch because food is a major trigger for me. also drove a bit faster to work cause dip in the car is by far my favorite time.
i'm not going to lie, my mind is already playin games on me. giving up already has come to thought a few times...
Im only in day 3, everything seems to trigger it, but i just grab my gum chew the hell out of it, and then find something to keep me busy, in the car was one of my best times to, i blast the radio up, and Pay no mind to the craving, Quit one day at a time... Youll make it
Burn the bridge Dew. Slam the door. Eliminate dip as an option in your life. If dip is not an option, then being quit is the only outcome. The struggle is not as hard if you don't give yourself a choice.
If you've posted roll, there is no other option. Fuck the mind games, you gave your word. And that, your word, means more than most everything around here. If you want to be welcomed back, you'd best honor your word.
Integrity is what you do when no one is watching...Are you man enough to keep yours intact?
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Dew..I'm behind you...figuratively. Keep busy and assrape this addiction! PM if you need a number.
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This is the road to regaining your life. When you're going through hell along this road, well, keep on walking. It gets better.
This site, your promise, and the others here will all combine in a strange brew of accountability, tough love, and bad humor to save your life.
I salute you, and I quit with you.
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Past the 24 hour mark. Man am I hungry! I guess dip really did a number on my appetite. I can't remember the last time I wanted to eat so badly when i first woke up. My mouth didn't taste as bad this morning and my stomach wasn't as much of a wreck. I'm holding on to these little things each time I get that wave of a craving.. and shit those waves are huge.
I did have some issues falling asleep last night, but I took some melatonin and zonked out for a while. Woke up around 3AM with the biggest urge to plop a dip in. Drank a glass of water, took a piss, hopped on this site and made it through.
Thanks for the support guys. Onward and upward.
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Past the 24 hour mark. Man am I hungry! I guess dip really did a number on my appetite. I can't remember the last time I wanted to eat so badly when i first woke up. My mouth didn't taste as bad this morning and my stomach wasn't as much of a wreck. I'm holding on to these little things each time I get that wave of a craving.. and shit those waves are huge.
I did have some issues falling asleep last night, but I took some melatonin and zonked out for a while. Woke up around 3AM with the biggest urge to plop a dip in. Drank a glass of water, took a piss, hopped on this site and made it through.
Thanks for the support guys. Onward and upward.
Yep...you're doing it right. No sleep, constipated, head ache, snacking on anything...sounds perfect. Embrace it. Those are the symptoms of healing. Welcome to your new found freedom, brother!!! Stay strong.
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Hey Drew. I slept horribly until all the nic was out of my system. What I did when my body woke me up for a hit was to re-brush my teeth. A long slow tooth brushing session just like the dentist wants you to do it. Floss. Methodically brush teeth, gums, and tongue. Done the right way it takes longer then most craves last. Plus your mouth feels so great.
I also keep a travel toothbrush kit with me for just that reason.
It will never get any harder then it is right now --- unless you cave like a bitch. Don't be a bitch.
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Great idea to hop on the website during your crave. Read some real stories and even check out the surgery pics. Live chat is always available too. You are not alone, we all battle this day in and day out. It will get better with time.