KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Haas22 on March 30, 2018, 11:40:00 PM
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Hi, Im fighting like hell through day 2 right now. Today at work was unbelievable, Im a site super for commercial construction. Hot flashes, headaches, deep fog, no focus, complete retardation, and every excuse running through your brain to go get a can. It doesn't stop. I smashed 3 packs of trident gum by 10am. 12 dollars in lifesavers keeps me honest till about 7. Tick Tock, Tick Tock....i make it home, i look my son in the eyes and tell him i"m good, no chew for 40 hours now,...he looks me in the eye and knows that i'm telling the truth. He is part of me...i failed him, for 10 fucking years...but he forgives me and pushes me to focus, focus and get rid of this nicotine Bitch that has owned me for 2 decades.
Im 40. Married, Daughter graduating High school, and a 10 year old son. Ive chewed for 20 years; My mouth is destroyed, my gums are non existent where i held my chew. White spots and sores litter my lips, gums, and tongue. It's weird isn't it? How your mouth can burn and sting, yet the chew still goes in...goes in to cut again and dump toxic poison into your body...i didn't care, just over and over and over again. I reach out, out to you all, take my hand, lift my spirits, help me kick the can. I will not use nicotine EVER AGAIN!!!
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...Tick Tock, Tick Tock....i make it home, i look my son in the eyes and tell him i"m good, no chew for 40 hours now,...he looks me in the eye and knows that i'm telling the truth. He is part of me...i failed him, for 10 fucking years...but he forgives me and pushes me to focus, focus and get rid of this nicotine Bitch that has owned me for 2 decades...
Love that you've involved your son. He's seen you enjoy it, now he sees it for what it really is. Hate that you're suffering, love that your writing it out. Tell me that didn't feel good!
Keep it up. You've got my digits, use 'em.
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Its crazy how it does that you start of using it to fit in with others that use it at first it makes you feel kind of good maybe little sick. Doesn't take long your using it not to feel good but to just feel normal. The withdraws creep up on you and it sucks so much so you put off quitting for another time cause you need to concentrate. You got this push through it we've all been through it.
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Its crazy how it does that you start of using it to fit in with others that use it at first it makes you feel kind of good maybe little sick. Doesn't take long your using it not to feel good but to just feel normal. The withdraws creep up on you and it sucks so much so you put off quitting for another time cause you need to concentrate. You got this push through it we've all been through it.
My kids were a huge accountability partner for me in the initial stages of my quit. How many times before I looked at them knowing I had failed and caved. When I finally decided to quit, they were instrumental in it. I could never go back on my word to them. I could never look in their trusting and loving eyes and admit failure. I could never crush their idea of who Dad really is. I look back now and those innocent faces are still there in my mind and my soul. As I reflect, it still chokes me up.
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Make your promise. Keep your promise. Refuse to cave. The rest will pass.
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Day 3 started out what seemed to be a little calmer for me. I was surprised, the level of the suck seemed just a tiny bit altered. I posted my roll call with total confidence and headed out the door to do some work.
10 minutes later i'm at 7-11.
Don't know how I got there, what streets i took, nothing.
Im just there.
i literally scream: "Fuck You Bitch!" and back out of there as fast as i can.
i am more educated now, about the cleverness of this nicotine bitch. I must remain vigilante at all times, she is always lurking.
It is evening now, i am making it through and keeping my promise. Keeping my word from roll call.
My wife and I agreed before I started this 3 days ago, that she would work with me, not argue or demand or complain for the first 2 weeks.
She is fervently breaking her promise to me right now, upset over some very trivial shit that my son did on accident. Anyhow the anger level in me is racecar red but i am careful, i leave to take a run around the neighborhood with the dog before I respond. Im laughing to myself as I write these entries now, what an emotional trainwreck i have become in 3 days. Hold strong i tell myself, text my brothers, whatever i have to do to to keep my promise. I will NOT use NICOTINE today!!!
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You are on the path Bro....I am proud to quit with you today.
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You are on the path Bro....I am proud to quit with you today.
Welcome to the suck. Revel in it. Diffuse the cleverness of the nic bitch with your plan, your contacts, your oath. Win each moment. Some victories are just plain ugly and brutal. That's okay, the end result is that you stayed quit.
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Hass22
Welcome to the group. Here are some words of wisdom I like to share:
The main way to be successful is to just decide that you have quit. Once you stop the negotiating in your head as to whether you will do one more or not the rest becomes far more simple.
Next, you will learn to distract your attention from your desire for a dip to anything else that interests you. This ability to change your focus will guarantee your success and make your quit that much easier.
When you place a dip in your mouth, your brain releases sugars. Well, those sugars are now going to be gone.
However, you can replace them with OJ or other fruit juices with sugar. This will provide some comfort, especially on your initial quit days.
Make sure to exercise with weights and cardio when you feel that nagging tension in your muscles, you feel that rage, when you can not sleep and when you cannot focus. Exercise really helps.
Here is one that most people overlook. Get at least 3 square meals a day. Hunger can really bring on those urges so squash those urges before they come. Eat full healthy meals and do not let yourself get excessively hungry. You will see this helps a great deal.
I waited until I was 59 quit after using tobacco for 40 years. You are wise to quit now.
I quit with you today.
Dundippin day 930
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....be that student of your addiction....follow the KTC way, lean on the people that have come before you and your July group....these guys, me and you are all doing the same thing, quiting one day at a time....the suck is what it is, embrace it and just make that promise just like the rest of us
DOOFUS DAY 78
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....be that student of your addiction....
Damn, I like that. Gonna get mileage out of it...
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So many people stopping by on my thread and offering support. It really is amazing, thank you all as we quit every day together.
As these entries stack up, i want to be transparent in all of the physical and mental aspects that i experience as i go through the quitting process.
I have noticed a few things lately, one of them being my bowel movement schedule and type. Much different than before, and very constipated. As i have read this is fairly common so im not worried about it.
One thing that does have me worried, is my temper. Absolutely much more wound up than before. I can snap at turn of a dime. In fact, I have. exercise will have to be a solution here, or something. but part of me wants to scream and be violent and rage and smash shit to pieces. i keep it bottled up but it seeps out and i have got to figure this out. I imagine it will calm down as time goes by and my brain rewires itself. but its here and im attempting to control it best as i can.
the fact that this poison is legal to buy and in fact taxes are gained from it, shows what a completely f'd up world we live in.
I continue to meet great people though this site and am thankful for everyone. I have read some of the threads from our brothers who did not make it, and i am forever affected, and motivated to stay quit.
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What really helped me was a rage project bro. I took out all that aggression on my landscaping. Ripped out trees and ivy and hack through shit. No power tools just hand tools and muscle.
If you've got something at your house you've been meaning to demo now would be a good time to do it.
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ohh i like that lol
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So many people stopping by on my thread and offering support. It really is amazing, thank you all as we quit every day together.
As these entries stack up, i want to be transparent in all of the physical and mental aspects that i experience as i go through the quitting process.
I have noticed a few things lately, one of them being my bowel movement schedule and type. Much different than before, and very constipated. As i have read this is fairly common so im not worried about it.
One thing that does have me worried, is my temper. Absolutely much more wound up than before. I can snap at turn of a dime. In fact, I have. exercise will have to be a solution here, or something. but part of me wants to scream and be violent and rage and smash shit to pieces. i keep it bottled up but it seeps out and i have got to figure this out. I imagine it will calm down as time goes by and my brain rewires itself. but its here and im attempting to control it best as i can.
the fact that this poison is legal to buy and in fact taxes are gained from it, shows what a completely f'd up world we live in.
I continue to meet great people though this site and am thankful for everyone. I have read some of the threads from our brothers who did not make it, and i am forever affected, and motivated to stay quit.
The traffic jam in the ass end, water....I mean drink it like a camel, 120oz a day, not shitting you (forgive pun), 32oz right when you wake with juice of a lemon, 20oz every so often until you above 120....it will cure the traffic jam and provide other benefits ....Read dundippin's quote above too for temper....exercise and good food....works, you'll lose some weight too....all this leads to a much healthier you in addition to being nicotine free
Do the landscape and demo jobs too....I walk 6 Mikes a day....plus sometimes run, my anger management issues are non existent
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So many people stopping by on my thread and offering support. It really is amazing, thank you all as we quit every day together.
As these entries stack up, i want to be transparent in all of the physical and mental aspects that i experience as i go through the quitting process.
I have noticed a few things lately, one of them being my bowel movement schedule and type. Much different than before, and very constipated. As i have read this is fairly common so im not worried about it.
One thing that does have me worried, is my temper. Absolutely much more wound up than before. I can snap at turn of a dime. In fact, I have. exercise will have to be a solution here, or something. but part of me wants to scream and be violent and rage and smash shit to pieces. i keep it bottled up but it seeps out and i have got to figure this out. I imagine it will calm down as time goes by and my brain rewires itself. but its here and im attempting to control it best as i can.
the fact that this poison is legal to buy and in fact taxes are gained from it, shows what a completely f'd up world we live in.
I continue to meet great people though this site and am thankful for everyone. I have read some of the threads from our brothers who did not make it, and i am forever affected, and motivated to stay quit.
The traffic jam in the ass end, water....I mean drink it like a camel, 120oz a day, not shutting you (forgive pun), 32oz right when you wake with juice of a lemon, 20oz every so often until you above 120....it will cure the traffic jam and provide other benefits ....Read dundippin's quote above too for temper....exercise and good food....works, you'll lose some weight too....all this leads to a much healthier you in addition to being nicotine free
Do the landscape and demo jobs too....I walk 6 Mikes a day....plus sometimes run, my anger management issues are non existent
I totally concur with Doofus and JGromo.
The closest I have come to caving was on my Day 38. I skipped work and a funeral on that day and instead stayed home and cleared a shitload of brush. It was a very emotional day for me. I seriously questioned my sanity as I found myself talking out loud to my dead friend while I was hacking away at the brush all day. But, I got a lot done and I didn't cave. And I can tell you now that I really needed to get that rage out.
Exercise and water, just like Doofus said. Early on I was waking up at about 4:30 am every morning. It took me a few days to realize that I was waking up so early because I was drinking so much water during the day that I had to piss at 4:30 am. That was what was waking me up. Drinking all that water helps with the constipation and also helps to make you feel full, which will help keep you from eating too much. Exercise will help with the sleep, anger and appetite. I am averaging about 20 miles a week right now on the treadmill and about 3 hours a week on weight training. I sleep really well most nights, but still have a few nights a week where I struggle to sleep. I know it will get better.
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quick update here:
Day 5 with no nicotine. It was Monday after the weekend so going to work was difficult, the fog was strong. Had a few cravings as well that were epic.
But also today I experienced a taste of something, I had about 3 hours today of clarity, calmness, and newness. I am very excited if this is a glimpse into what nicotine free life can be. my face looks better, my skin, my , Well everything fuking feels better!!
Thank you so much for all the support, I am eager to extend my hand to others now, and I will continue to post roll and lean on my fellow Badass Quitters. I can do this, I really can!!
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Between water, better diet, exercise....you gonna feel a whole lot better....remove the piece of shit weed from your cheek and your mouth is already starting to heal.....u in for a treat bro, Day 5.....it keeps getting better....ODAAT, PROUD TO QUIT WITH U TODAY
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I freaking loved this! My 11 year old daughter is helping me! We need to exchange numbers! Ill PM you!
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U gotta be feeling better, Day 86 bro, proud with you
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Hanging bro, ODAAT
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Proud today, quit on!
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Day 162
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Double WUPP time for 200, proud to be quit wit u
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222 wlf
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Poof
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I quit for 120 days in july 2018. I caved. Divorce and some other things, i was weak. I have chewed grizzly wintergreen pouches for 10 years, kodiak straight 10 years before that. In June of this year, i began suffering panic attacks...often. I have been to a ton of doctors and been diagnosed with everything from TMJ, ear infection, and panic disorder. I tried some diff meds that really fucked me up mentally. The whole time I'm chewing....Sun Up to Sun Down. I started reading and studying, and now believe that the massive inflow of nicotine and other chemicals to my brain has caused my body to have issues at 44. I quit on Saturday night....cold turkey....again. I am addicted, and i never want to dip again. I quit with all of you, again.
Massive dizziness, fog, paranoia, dry mouth are here. Im using life savers as my oral medicine...it worked for me last time. Look forward to staying strong with you again.
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I quit for 120 days in july 2018. I caved. Divorce and some other things, i was weak. I have chewed grizzly wintergreen pouches for 10 years, kodiak straight 10 years before that. In June of this year, i began suffering panic attacks...often. I have been to a ton of doctors and been diagnosed with everything from TMJ, ear infection, and panic disorder. I tried some diff meds that really fucked me up mentally. The whole time I'm chewing....Sun Up to Sun Down. I started reading and studying, and now believe that the massive inflow of nicotine and other chemicals to my brain has caused my body to have issues at 44. I quit on Saturday night....cold turkey....again. I am addicted, and i never want to dip again. I quit with all of you, again.
Massive dizziness, fog, paranoia, dry mouth are here. Im using life savers as my oral medicine...it worked for me last time. Look forward to staying strong with you again.
Haas you are the man. Glad you’re back. I’m also a previous caver and you’re in my group. We’re in this together. Start doing some light cardio and weights immediately it will help with the anxiety and you’ll feel great. I quit with you today
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I quit for 120 days in july 2018. I caved. Divorce and some other things, i was weak. I have chewed grizzly wintergreen pouches for 10 years, kodiak straight 10 years before that. In June of this year, i began suffering panic attacks...often. I have been to a ton of doctors and been diagnosed with everything from TMJ, ear infection, and panic disorder. I tried some diff meds that really fucked me up mentally. The whole time I'm chewing....Sun Up to Sun Down. I started reading and studying, and now believe that the massive inflow of nicotine and other chemicals to my brain has caused my body to have issues at 44. I quit on Saturday night....cold turkey....again. I am addicted, and i never want to dip again. I quit with all of you, again.
Massive dizziness, fog, paranoia, dry mouth are here. Im using life savers as my oral medicine...it worked for me last time. Look forward to staying strong with you again.
Haas you are the man. Glad you’re back. I’m also a previous caver and you’re in my group. We’re in this together. Start doing some light cardio and weights immediately it will help with the anxiety and you’ll feel great. I quit with you today
You remind me of me. I quit with you today.
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Thank you for your words gentlemen, it's gonna be a tough battle next 15 days
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Thank you for your words gentlemen, it's gonna be a tough battle next 15 days
Why are worried about the next 15 days?
You quit now? Can you stay quit the rest of the day?
We can worry about tomorrow when it comes.
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Thank you for your words gentlemen, it's gonna be a tough battle next 15 days
we focus one day at a time here. I don’t know what is special about 15 days but we can only control our quit TODAY. let tomorrow take care of itself.
Post roll. Keep your promise for the next 24 hours. Rinse and repeat.
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Thank you for your words gentlemen, it's gonna be a tough battle next 15 days
we focus one day at a time here. I don’t know what is special about 15 days but we can only control our quit TODAY. let tomorrow take care of itself.
Post roll. Keep your promise for the next 24 hours. Rinse and repeat.
I had to make it through day 2 to get to day 3. I had to make it through day 3 to get to day 4. Quitting is a struggle that needs to be tackled every day. I quit with you today!
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I quit for 120 days in july 2018. I caved. Divorce and some other things, i was weak. I have chewed grizzly wintergreen pouches for 10 years, kodiak straight 10 years before that. In June of this year, i began suffering panic attacks...often. I have been to a ton of doctors and been diagnosed with everything from TMJ, ear infection, and panic disorder. I tried some diff meds that really fucked me up mentally. The whole time I'm chewing....Sun Up to Sun Down. I started reading and studying, and now believe that the massive inflow of nicotine and other chemicals to my brain has caused my body to have issues at 44. I quit on Saturday night....cold turkey....again. I am addicted, and i never want to dip again. I quit with all of you, again.
Massive dizziness, fog, paranoia, dry mouth are here. Im using life savers as my oral medicine...it worked for me last time. Look forward to staying strong with you again.
Haas you are the man. Glad you’re back. I’m also a previous caver and you’re in my group. We’re in this together. Start doing some light cardio and weights immediately it will help with the anxiety and you’ll feel great. I quit with you today
You remind me of me. I quit with you today.
Water, Exercise, and TeaZa fake pouches exceled me to my HOF day. stick to the course no matter the challenges that rage around you. Its worth everything!
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I remember you.
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I remember you.
And I you, you were integral in my quit in 2018, i let you and a lot of others down when I caved. I got cocky after 100, lost my way, and the nic bitch waited and pounced. It will not happen again. I quit today with all of you.
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Day 4, wow. Anxiety through the fuking roof, jaw and ear pain, dizzy, lost, sick, foggy, faking my way through at work, looking forward to crawling into bed and posting roll tom. I have texts from guys that are here for me, that got my back, and are absolutely helping me through, thank you all,and I quit today.
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Day 4, wow. Anxiety through the fuking roof, jaw and ear pain, dizzy, lost, sick, foggy, faking my way through at work, looking forward to crawling into bed and posting roll tom. I have texts from guys that are here for me, that got my back, and are absolutely helping me through, thank you all,and I quit today.
You got this man. My digits are always there for the asking. Keep fighting one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
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Day 4, wow. Anxiety through the fuking roof, jaw and ear pain, dizzy, lost, sick, foggy, faking my way through at work, looking forward to crawling into bed and posting roll tom. I have texts from guys that are here for me, that got my back, and are absolutely helping me through, thank you all,and I quit today.
You got this man. My digits are always there for the asking. Keep fighting one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Thank you for the support my friend, and as i promised on roll call this am, I will not fuking put that shit in my body...I know i have brothers in the suck with me, im here my friends holding the line.
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I wanted to make this post regarding my day 4 to give comfort to others that may experience the same things and for me to read later when I get a crave.
I briefly explained what has brought me here after caving in 2018 after 120 days. Starting in June, I started having terrible panic attacks. Full blown meltdown in public, rush to the ER panic attacks. Out of nowhere, or so I thought. Basically I would get vertigo, and think I was dying, heart palpatations etc. Once at the ER I would be ok, EKG was good, etc. I just turned 44. It is important to understand that I was extremely social, active, and healthy. This quickly changed after the panic attacks, I am afraid and high anxiety all of the time. Fearing another attack will happen at any moment, and they do, sometimes 10 in a day. I went to the doctors, first one said TMJ and anxiety disorder. This confused me because I had never experienced anything like these mental challenges, how does this happen out of the blue? I thought. Turns out I have an issue in my labyrinth in my ears...partly because of chewing for 20 years.
So, for 9 weeks, I have been in hell, had an allergic reaction to the steroid prednisone, had terrible reactions to some mental meds including crazy shit like intrusive and suicidal thoughts, etc.
The whole time, I'm still chewing lmao. Finally I started researching, and the links between nicotine and anxiety and panic are staggering. I threw away my stash on Sat night and logged into KTC.
So yesterday(day 4) I experienced all of these symptoms:
Nausea, flu-like, ear pain, jaw pain(excruciating), body aches, and massive headaches. It got to a point while I was driving, that I thought I was having a stroke, could barely keep my head up, it scared the shit out of me. But I also had fleeting intrusive thoughts, crazy town shit. I had to breathe and work through it, getting home and forcing myself to lay down. I will tell you, it was top 5 most agonizing 3 hour periods in my life.
I had over 20 texts from fellow quitters, checking on me, encouraging me etc, and I can tell you without a doubt they helped save my quit yesterday when I was in so much agony and the thought of a dip making it all go away crossed my mind.
Day 5 today, posted roll, I will keep my promise today. I quit with all of you today.
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I wanted to make this post regarding my day 4 to give comfort to others that may experience the same things and for me to read later when I get a crave.
I briefly explained what has brought me here after caving in 2018 after 120 days. Starting in June, I started having terrible panic attacks. Full blown meltdown in public, rush to the ER panic attacks. Out of nowhere, or so I thought. Basically I would get vertigo, and think I was dying, heart palpatations etc. Once at the ER I would be ok, EKG was good, etc. I just turned 44. It is important to understand that I was extremely social, active, and healthy. This quickly changed after the panic attacks, I am afraid and high anxiety all of the time. Fearing another attack will happen at any moment, and they do, sometimes 10 in a day. I went to the doctors, first one said TMJ and anxiety disorder. This confused me because I had never experienced anything like these mental challenges, how does this happen out of the blue? I thought. Turns out I have an issue in my labyrinth in my ears...partly because of chewing for 20 years.
So, for 9 weeks, I have been in hell, had an allergic reaction to the steroid prednisone, had terrible reactions to some mental meds including crazy shit like intrusive and suicidal thoughts, etc.
The whole time, I'm still chewing lmao. Finally I started researching, and the links between nicotine and anxiety and panic are staggering. I threw away my stash on Sat night and logged into KTC.
So yesterday(day 4) I experienced all of these symptoms:
Nausea, flu-like, ear pain, jaw pain(excruciating), body aches, and massive headaches. It got to a point while I was driving, that I thought I was having a stroke, could barely keep my head up, it scared the shit out of me. But I also had fleeting intrusive thoughts, crazy town shit. I had to breathe and work through it, getting home and forcing myself to lay down. I will tell you, it was top 5 most agonizing 3 hour periods in my life.
I had over 20 texts from fellow quitters, checking on me, encouraging me etc, and I can tell you without a doubt they helped save my quit yesterday when I was in so much agony and the thought of a dip making it all go away crossed my mind.
Day 5 today, posted roll, I will keep my promise today. I quit with all of you today.
Yeah night 2 and night 3 were awful for me. Short of breath, palpitations, waking up feeling like I was suffocating, then these dreamlike thoughts that just brought feelings of indefinite dread. Thankfully every night since has been an improvement and we’re getting healthier everyday. Glad to be quitting with you today
emoney
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I wanted to make this post regarding my day 4 to give comfort to others that may experience the same things and for me to read later when I get a crave.
I briefly explained what has brought me here after caving in 2018 after 120 days. Starting in June, I started having terrible panic attacks. Full blown meltdown in public, rush to the ER panic attacks. Out of nowhere, or so I thought. Basically I would get vertigo, and think I was dying, heart palpatations etc. Once at the ER I would be ok, EKG was good, etc. I just turned 44. It is important to understand that I was extremely social, active, and healthy. This quickly changed after the panic attacks, I am afraid and high anxiety all of the time. Fearing another attack will happen at any moment, and they do, sometimes 10 in a day. I went to the doctors, first one said TMJ and anxiety disorder. This confused me because I had never experienced anything like these mental challenges, how does this happen out of the blue? I thought. Turns out I have an issue in my labyrinth in my ears...partly because of chewing for 20 years.
So, for 9 weeks, I have been in hell, had an allergic reaction to the steroid prednisone, had terrible reactions to some mental meds including crazy shit like intrusive and suicidal thoughts, etc.
The whole time, I'm still chewing lmao. Finally I started researching, and the links between nicotine and anxiety and panic are staggering. I threw away my stash on Sat night and logged into KTC.
So yesterday(day 4) I experienced all of these symptoms:
Nausea, flu-like, ear pain, jaw pain(excruciating), body aches, and massive headaches. It got to a point while I was driving, that I thought I was having a stroke, could barely keep my head up, it scared the shit out of me. But I also had fleeting intrusive thoughts, crazy town shit. I had to breathe and work through it, getting home and forcing myself to lay down. I will tell you, it was top 5 most agonizing 3 hour periods in my life.
I had over 20 texts from fellow quitters, checking on me, encouraging me etc, and I can tell you without a doubt they helped save my quit yesterday when I was in so much agony and the thought of a dip making it all go away crossed my mind.
Day 5 today, posted roll, I will keep my promise today. I quit with all of you today.
Yeah night 2 and night 3 were awful for me. Short of breath, palpitations, waking up feeling like I was suffocating, then these dreamlike thoughts that just brought feelings of indefinite dread. Thankfully every night since has been an improvement and we’re getting healthier everyday. Glad to be quitting with you today
emoney
Man I really appreciate you sharing all of this. I'm sorry you're going through it but it will get better. Damn proud to be quit with you today.
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I wanted to make this post regarding my day 4 to give comfort to others that may experience the same things and for me to read later when I get a crave.
I briefly explained what has brought me here after caving in 2018 after 120 days. Starting in June, I started having terrible panic attacks. Full blown meltdown in public, rush to the ER panic attacks. Out of nowhere, or so I thought. Basically I would get vertigo, and think I was dying, heart palpatations etc. Once at the ER I would be ok, EKG was good, etc. I just turned 44. It is important to understand that I was extremely social, active, and healthy. This quickly changed after the panic attacks, I am afraid and high anxiety all of the time. Fearing another attack will happen at any moment, and they do, sometimes 10 in a day. I went to the doctors, first one said TMJ and anxiety disorder. This confused me because I had never experienced anything like these mental challenges, how does this happen out of the blue? I thought. Turns out I have an issue in my labyrinth in my ears...partly because of chewing for 20 years.
So, for 9 weeks, I have been in hell, had an allergic reaction to the steroid prednisone, had terrible reactions to some mental meds including crazy shit like intrusive and suicidal thoughts, etc.
The whole time, I'm still chewing lmao. Finally I started researching, and the links between nicotine and anxiety and panic are staggering. I threw away my stash on Sat night and logged into KTC.
So yesterday(day 4) I experienced all of these symptoms:
Nausea, flu-like, ear pain, jaw pain(excruciating), body aches, and massive headaches. It got to a point while I was driving, that I thought I was having a stroke, could barely keep my head up, it scared the shit out of me. But I also had fleeting intrusive thoughts, crazy town shit. I had to breathe and work through it, getting home and forcing myself to lay down. I will tell you, it was top 5 most agonizing 3 hour periods in my life.
I had over 20 texts from fellow quitters, checking on me, encouraging me etc, and I can tell you without a doubt they helped save my quit yesterday when I was in so much agony and the thought of a dip making it all go away crossed my mind.
Day 5 today, posted roll, I will keep my promise today. I quit with all of you today.
you are the Hero of your Story brother! Keep fighting it Every Damn Day! It wants you to loose, It wants you to cave, It calls you because it thinks your weak! Your Not ! your the champs champ look how far you already came and what you endured. The climb up the mountain is always hell but the view at the top takes your breath away and makes it all worth it. I quit with you
Nick- LTBE
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I wanted to make this post regarding my day 4 to give comfort to others that may experience the same things and for me to read later when I get a crave.
I briefly explained what has brought me here after caving in 2018 after 120 days. Starting in June, I started having terrible panic attacks. Full blown meltdown in public, rush to the ER panic attacks. Out of nowhere, or so I thought. Basically I would get vertigo, and think I was dying, heart palpatations etc. Once at the ER I would be ok, EKG was good, etc. I just turned 44. It is important to understand that I was extremely social, active, and healthy. This quickly changed after the panic attacks, I am afraid and high anxiety all of the time. Fearing another attack will happen at any moment, and they do, sometimes 10 in a day. I went to the doctors, first one said TMJ and anxiety disorder. This confused me because I had never experienced anything like these mental challenges, how does this happen out of the blue? I thought. Turns out I have an issue in my labyrinth in my ears...partly because of chewing for 20 years.
So, for 9 weeks, I have been in hell, had an allergic reaction to the steroid prednisone, had terrible reactions to some mental meds including crazy shit like intrusive and suicidal thoughts, etc.
The whole time, I'm still chewing lmao. Finally I started researching, and the links between nicotine and anxiety and panic are staggering. I threw away my stash on Sat night and logged into KTC.
So yesterday(day 4) I experienced all of these symptoms:
Nausea, flu-like, ear pain, jaw pain(excruciating), body aches, and massive headaches. It got to a point while I was driving, that I thought I was having a stroke, could barely keep my head up, it scared the shit out of me. But I also had fleeting intrusive thoughts, crazy town shit. I had to breathe and work through it, getting home and forcing myself to lay down. I will tell you, it was top 5 most agonizing 3 hour periods in my life.
I had over 20 texts from fellow quitters, checking on me, encouraging me etc, and I can tell you without a doubt they helped save my quit yesterday when I was in so much agony and the thought of a dip making it all go away crossed my mind.
Day 5 today, posted roll, I will keep my promise today. I quit with all of you today.
you are the Hero of your Story brother! Keep fighting it Every Damn Day! It wants you to loose, It wants you to cave, It calls you because it thinks your weak! Your Not ! your the champs champ look how far you already came and what you endured. The climb up the mountain is always hell but the view at the top takes your breath away and makes it all worth it. I quit with you
Nick- LTBE
Hang in there Brother. Your story sounds very much like mine. It can be terrifying but worth it to be rid of the can. This to will pass. I quit with you
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Just a journal entry, Day 6 and I am extremely annoyed and aggravated. God, grant me the strength to deal with stupid today. I will not scream at or punch anything. I will not use today. Breathe with me quitters......1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
There is an underlying vehemance in me today that scares me. The Nic Bitch is pulling more arrows from her quiver....I will not stagger.
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Just a journal entry, Day 6 and I am extremely annoyed and aggravated. God, grant me the strength to deal with stupid today. I will not scream at or punch anything. I will not use today. Breathe with me quitters......1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
There is an underlying vehemance in me today that scares me. The Nic Bitch is pulling more arrows from her quiver....I will not stagger.
@Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
That is her way of showing how important you are. Don’t give in. Don’t let her win. Be proud of yourself today. You are an addict and you are being your addiction today. Proud to quit with you today and I will be back to quit with you again tomorrow.
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Just a journal entry, Day 6 and I am extremely annoyed and aggravated. God, grant me the strength to deal with stupid today. I will not scream at or punch anything. I will not use today. Breathe with me quitters......1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
There is an underlying vehemance in me today that scares me. The Nic Bitch is pulling more arrows from her quiver....I will not stagger.
@Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
That is her way of showing how important you are. Don’t give in. Don’t let her win. Be proud of yourself today. You are an addict and you are being your addiction today. Proud to quit with you today and I will be back to quit with you again tomorrow.
Thank you for your support, your words are my own ammunition in this fight today.
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Just a journal entry, Day 6 and I am extremely annoyed and aggravated. God, grant me the strength to deal with stupid today. I will not scream at or punch anything. I will not use today. Breathe with me quitters......1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
There is an underlying vehemance in me today that scares me. The Nic Bitch is pulling more arrows from her quiver....I will not stagger.
@Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
That is her way of showing how important you are. Don’t give in. Don’t let her win. Be proud of yourself today. You are an addict and you are being your addiction today. Proud to quit with you today and I will be back to quit with you again tomorrow.
Thank you for your support, your words are my own ammunition in this fight today.
Shoot me a pm with digits. Happy to exchange to fight this battle together @Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
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Just a journal entry, Day 6 and I am extremely annoyed and aggravated. God, grant me the strength to deal with stupid today. I will not scream at or punch anything. I will not use today. Breathe with me quitters......1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.
There is an underlying vehemance in me today that scares me. The Nic Bitch is pulling more arrows from her quiver....I will not stagger.
@Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
That is her way of showing how important you are. Don’t give in. Don’t let her win. Be proud of yourself today. You are an addict and you are being your addiction today. Proud to quit with you today and I will be back to quit with you again tomorrow.
Thank you for your support, your words are my own ammunition in this fight today.
Shoot me a pm with digits. Happy to exchange to fight this battle together @Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299)
@Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299) when you feel that underlying vehemence, be sure to bring it here. We know how to deal with while friends and family may not. Stay strong and stay true to your quit. The nic bitch plays dirty and you have to return in kind. KTC with your brother and sisters are the "in kind" that you return to her. Remember One minute, one hour, one day at a time. You got this.
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another journal entry,...
its funny to me, that there really is so little information on the internet regarding quitting smokeless tobacco. As i work my way through day 9 of no nicotine after 20 years, i have physical sensations that i dont see anyone talk about online, except this forum. I noticed today, i am having smells hit me out of the blue that i should not be smelling, often times maybe a burning smell of different varieties? so weird as i usually would associate this with quitting smoking, but not chew. Also having a fair share of muscle twitches lately...not painful, but annoying for sure lol. As my anxiety level increases while my brain learns to have emotions without nicotine again, i become even more hyper aware of physical discomfort, which can definately snowball in my mind to the negative side. I made an agreement with myself that I will not have a drink for the first 100 days of my quit, not because i have a problem with alcohol, but i know myself and if i drink i will have a much better chance of caving. But man, a cold frothy one sure is nice to think about on this day 9. I,m here quit with all of you today.
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another journal entry,...
its funny to me, that there really is so little information on the internet regarding quitting smokeless tobacco. As i work my way through day 9 of no nicotine after 20 years, i have physical sensations that i dont see anyone talk about online, except this forum. I noticed today, i am having smells hit me out of the blue that i should not be smelling, often times maybe a burning smell of different varieties? so weird as i usually would associate this with quitting smoking, but not chew. Also having a fair share of muscle twitches lately...not painful, but annoying for sure lol. As my anxiety level increases while my brain learns to have emotions without nicotine again, i become even more hyper aware of physical discomfort, which can definately snowball in my mind to the negative side. I made an agreement with myself that I will not have a drink for the first 100 days of my quit, not because i have a problem with alcohol, but i know myself and if i drink i will have a much better chance of caving. But man, a cold frothy one sure is nice to think about on this day 9. I,m here quit with all of you today.
hold tight Brother! i had the muscles spasms as well, Alcohol is the number 1 excuses as to why someone is posting another day 1! its all a trick and you are on the right side of this thing my friend. keep fighting were all proud of you!
Nick- LTBE
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another journal entry,...
its funny to me, that there really is so little information on the internet regarding quitting smokeless tobacco. As i work my way through day 9 of no nicotine after 20 years, i have physical sensations that i dont see anyone talk about online, except this forum. I noticed today, i am having smells hit me out of the blue that i should not be smelling, often times maybe a burning smell of different varieties? so weird as i usually would associate this with quitting smoking, but not chew. Also having a fair share of muscle twitches lately...not painful, but annoying for sure lol. As my anxiety level increases while my brain learns to have emotions without nicotine again, i become even more hyper aware of physical discomfort, which can definately snowball in my mind to the negative side. I made an agreement with myself that I will not have a drink for the first 100 days of my quit, not because i have a problem with alcohol, but i know myself and if i drink i will have a much better chance of caving. But man, a cold frothy one sure is nice to think about on this day 9. I,m here quit with all of you today.
hold tight Brother! i had the muscles spasms as well, Alcohol is the number 1 excuses as to why someone is posting another day 1! its all a trick and you are on the right side of this thing my friend. keep fighting were all proud of you!
Nick- LTBE
Keep doing your thing and quitting ODAAT. Just remember, if you hit a bump in the road reach out to the fellow quitters you are building relationships with. We all need help at times. Proud to quit with you.
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Day 47 here, and I'm having cravings stronger than ever before, my addict mind dreams of a smoke or dip, all damn day. It is my promise that I make every morning to my brothers that keeps me straight, but I will tell you, the fight never ends. I'm quit with all of you today....
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Day 47 here, and I'm having cravings stronger than ever before, my addict mind dreams of a smoke or dip, all damn day. It is my promise that I make every morning to my brothers that keeps me straight, but I will tell you, the fight never ends. I'm quit with all of you today....
You should have my digits in the PM from GQG. Holler if you need to.
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Day 47 here, and I'm having cravings stronger than ever before, my addict mind dreams of a smoke or dip, all damn day. It is my promise that I make every morning to my brothers that keeps me straight, but I will tell you, the fight never ends. I'm quit with all of you today....
You should have my digits in the PM from GQG. Holler if you need to.
Happy to quit with you as well @Haas22 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=14299). What I can tell you is it gets so much better and easier. Don’t get me wrong, we are always addicts and nicotine will always be put drug. That is why I know I will keep posting my promise daily and keep developing relationships with fellow quitters. There is nothing better than sharing a beverage will a fellow quitter. If you don’t, I recommend you communicate with will fellow quitters every now and then. It really gives my quit a kick in the pants. Reach out if I can help. Always looking to partner with fellow quitters to fight this addiction.
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Day 47 here, and I'm having cravings stronger than ever before, my addict mind dreams of a smoke or dip, all damn day. It is my promise that I make every morning to my brothers that keeps me straight, but I will tell you, the fight never ends. I'm quit with all of you today....
Yeah man I felt this! The game is suck, the goal is winning, the Prize is your life! early on it hurts so good , my eyes hurt my skull was foggy and hurting, sleep was hard to come by. But like a drunken sailor i stumbled into roll Every morning praying and promising 24 hours to this brotherhood. And here i am almost a year in feeling soooo much better. i look back to where you are now and say thank god i pushed, thank god i committed to kicking this nasty ass shit to the curb. My body thanks me, my family is proud, and some people stand out in the cold in awe wishing they could be where even you are right now. 47 days is hard and alot of people cant hack a month. im excited for you to start feeling better and see what i see now. Some days still suck donkey D but they come in short burst and i no everyone here has my back.
Nick-269LTBE