KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Dozer99 on September 14, 2012, 12:19:00 PM

Title: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 14, 2012, 12:19:00 PM
I have quit since 10am PST Sep 11, 2012. My brain is too foggy to count the hours, All I know is that I quit. I know that I will come out on the other side a better Man, but right now, I have to forcefully tell myself not to yell at my family or my coworkers. The cravings are still bad, but I will not cave, I will do this!
A 26 year long addiction is a long and cruel Mistress to try to shut out. I will not injest nicotine ever again. I am done.

I see the faces of my Daughters and that makes me strong. I see the face of my Son and that makes me strong. I will do this.

Sorry for the rant, and I hope my spell check works, cause my brain sure as hell isn't right now. I would post on roll call, but I think that's just a little too much for my brain in this fog.

Lawrence
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: hudsonp on September 14, 2012, 12:59:00 PM
a day at time, i'm on day 9 and each day is a new one
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: syndrome on September 14, 2012, 01:01:00 PM
Quote from: Dozer99
I have quit since 10am PST Sep 11, 2012. My brain is too foggy to count the hours, All I know is that I quit. I know that I will come out on the other side a better Man, but right now, I have to forcefully tell myself not to yell at my family or my coworkers. The cravings are still bad, but I will not cave, I will do this!
A 26 year long addiction is a long and cruel Mistress to try to shut out. I will not injest nicotine ever again. I am done.

I see the faces of my Daughters and that makes me strong. I see the face of my Son and that makes me strong. I will do this.

Sorry for the rant, and I hope my spell check works, cause my brain sure as hell isn't right now. I would post on roll call, but I think that's just a little too much for my brain in this fog.

Lawrence
i tell you what man. you just try postin up roll and some buddy will fix it up rite if you mess it up. then you just worry bout stayin quit the rest a today. worry bout tomorow when it gets here. dont think bout for ever. thats to much to think bout. today. thats it.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 14, 2012, 02:08:00 PM
You have got to be kidding me! My work IT weenies have blocked many of the threads on KillTheCan.org. It says it's adult content! That is just to funny. Guess I'll have to post roll call on my home puter (it dont' block anything).....
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 14, 2012, 08:56:00 PM
Quote from: Syndrome
Quote from: Dozer99
I have quit since 10am PST Sep 11, 2012. My brain is too foggy to count the hours, All I know is that I quit. I know that I will come out on the other side a better Man, but right now, I have to forcefully tell myself not to yell at my family or my coworkers. The cravings are still bad, but I will not cave, I will do this!
A 26 year long addiction is a long and cruel Mistress to try to shut out. I will not injest nicotine ever again. I am done.

I see the faces of my Daughters and that makes me strong. I see the face of my Son and that makes me strong. I will do this.

Sorry for the rant, and I hope my spell check works, cause my brain sure as hell isn't right now.  I would post on roll call, but I think that's just a little too much for my brain in this fog.

Lawrence
i tell you what man. you just try postin up roll and some buddy will fix it up rite if you mess it up. then you just worry bout stayin quit the rest a today. worry bout tomorow when it gets here. dont think bout for ever. thats to much to think bout. today. thats it.
Thanks Syndrome. finally shook the cobwebs loose enough in my head to figure out roll call. Some times it good to just hear someone else talk. Still foggy, pumpkin seeds are good!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 15, 2012, 11:25:00 PM
Today was just a little better. cravings were not quite so bad. I only opened the hall closet twice today looking for the beer (normally kept in the fridge, but my fog brain reasoned that it should be in the hall).

Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.

Tomorrow will be even better.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: kana on September 16, 2012, 12:09:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
Today was just a little better. cravings were not quite so bad. I only opened the hall closet twice today looking for the beer (normally kept in the fridge, but my fog brain reasoned that it should be in the hall).

Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.

Tomorrow will be even better.
everyday gets a little easier. one day at a time. you're reprogramming right now, and actually you can do everything without nic if you choose to. post everyday and keep your promise no matter what.. the rest will follow..
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 16, 2012, 10:22:00 AM
Quote from: kana
Quote from: Dozer99
Today was just a little better. cravings were not quite so bad. I only opened the hall closet twice today looking for the beer (normally kept in the fridge, but my fog brain reasoned that it should be in the hall).

Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.

Tomorrow will be even better.
everyday gets a little easier. one day at a time. you're reprogramming right now, and actually you can do everything without nic if you choose to. post everyday and keep your promise no matter what.. the rest will follow..
Thanks Kana,

Yea they say it gets easier, So I will trust them. Bad night last night. Woke up a lot sweating. Drank lots of water, then woke up having to pee. Oh well, made it through the night, got my Coffee and heading outside. I will not cave, I will stay strong, I will kick this Bitch!!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Wt57 on September 16, 2012, 11:12:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
Quote from: kana
Quote from: Dozer99
Today was just a little better. cravings were not quite so bad. I only opened the hall closet twice today looking for the beer (normally kept in the fridge, but my fog brain reasoned that it should be in the hall).

Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.

Tomorrow will be even better.
everyday gets a little easier. one day at a time. you're reprogramming right now, and actually you can do everything without nic if you choose to. post everyday and keep your promise no matter what.. the rest will follow..
Thanks Kana,

Yea they say it gets easier, So I will trust them. Bad night last night. Woke up a lot sweating. Drank lots of water, then woke up having to pee. Oh well, made it through the night, got my Coffee and heading outside. I will not cave, I will stay strong, I will kick this Bitch!!
Day by day! Make your promise, keep your word and before you know it 100 days will have passed and you will say "where did the days go". I promise you it does get easier!
WT day 169
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: MikeWC on September 16, 2012, 11:24:00 AM
You are doing good dozer! It's a strange feeling to actually do something without that crap in your mouth and then realize that it can be done! Take it one day at a time, there are a lot of great people on this site ready to help you. Too bad about work blocking the site, if you need or want a # pm me. I quit with you today. Mike
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 17, 2012, 12:30:00 PM
Yesterday was a little easier, except I had the worst craving last night, not a physical craving, but a mental one. Wife gave me choclate (which I have never liked) and it worked! So, I'm going to have to fight off a little weight, no big deal!

This morning was ok, better than yesterday. Made it through feeding the horses without ever once thinking about it. Now I'm at work. I can smell smoke and dip around the shop, I'll be fine.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 22, 2012, 09:49:00 AM
Went to the dentist yesterday, just a filling. Felt good to say I am quit and mean it. So far my gums look good but I'll keep going back every 6 months to make sure. Next hurdle will be the bone grafts I have to have on my upper jaw. Had a lot of bone loss over the years on the top back both sides, so So I get pig bone to rebuild it! No pig jokes!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Notdeadyet on September 22, 2012, 10:55:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
Went to the dentist yesterday, just a filling. Felt good to say I am quit and mean it. So far my gums look good but I'll keep going back every 6 months to make sure. Next hurdle will be the bone grafts I have to have on my upper jaw. Had a lot of bone loss over the years on the top back both sides, so So I get pig bone to rebuild it! No pig jokes!
Quit is a way of life, a state of being that you can't change. Kinda like how some of the guys on here can't change being ghey. Sounds like you have burned the boats and are stuck on the island of quit. Congrats!

Ps. I highly recommend getting a second opinion on the bone grafts...
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 22, 2012, 02:02:00 PM
Quote from: Notdeadyet

Ps. I highly recommend getting a second opinion on the bone grafts...

Did, this is the second opinion. Both the periodontists (SP?) and my dentists say that this will fix a lot of my head ache issues and my insurance will cover it 100%. It's good to have bomb proof insurance.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 27, 2012, 01:45:00 AM
First day off from work in awhile. Just called in sick, said fuck it and helped the wife unit around the house. played with my 4 month old daughter, working on giving her a million kisses before she turns one! Oh, and I did it all without that shit in my mouth! Fuck you Nicotine and the trucks you ride in on. I am better than you! Was a great day, and many more to come! I AM QUIT!

Dozer out
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: copingwithoutcopen on September 27, 2012, 03:26:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
First day off from work in awhile. Just called in sick, said fuck it and helped the wife unit around the house. played with my 4 month old daughter, working on giving her a million kisses before she turns one! Oh, and I did it all with that shit in my mouth! Fuck you Nicotine and the trucks you ride in on. I am better than you! Was a great day, and many more to come! I AM QUIT!

Dozer out
I assume you meant "without that shit in your mouth". Great post otherwise!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on September 27, 2012, 10:42:00 AM
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Dozer99
First day off from work in awhile. Just called in sick, said fuck it and helped the wife unit around the house. played with my 4 month old daughter, working on giving her a million kisses before she turns one! Oh, and I did it all with that shit in my mouth! Fuck you Nicotine and the trucks you ride in on. I am better than you! Was a great day, and many more to come! I AM QUIT!

Dozer out
I assume you meant "without that shit in your mouth". Great post otherwise!
Holy Shit, great catch. I just edited it. Yep, It was "Without".
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 01, 2012, 01:02:00 PM
Day 20 and for some reason the Fog is back. Feel like I have a hangover this morning and I didn't even tie one on last night. Not really craving, just feel like I'm walking in Molasses. Oh well, this too shall pass!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: mfkuss on October 01, 2012, 01:05:00 PM
Yes it will....

I have had a couple of foggy days in the last week...not as bad as initially, but still there...

Thanks for the help yesterday!!!! Hang in there!!

I quit with you today!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 01, 2012, 01:17:00 PM
Weird that we would get a foggy day out of nowhere! Nothing really to trigger it. Oh Well, think I go get some more pumkin seeds!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 02, 2012, 04:42:00 PM
Ok, So day 21 and I feel great, but yesterday almost killed me. It was by far one of the worst days I've had so far. No cravings, just foggy has hell and dizzy. Once I got home from work it started to get just a little better. Went to sleep early. I guess I screwed a bunch of stuff up at work as well yesterday. Oh well.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Mike17 on October 02, 2012, 04:57:00 PM
Quote from: Dozer99
Ok, So day 21 and I feel great, but yesterday almost killed me. It was by far one of the worst days I've had so far. No cravings, just foggy has hell and dizzy. Once I got home from work it started to get just a little better. Went to sleep early. I guess I screwed a bunch of stuff up at work as well yesterday. Oh well.
Keep it up man, these feelings are temporary whereas if you continue to dip what will happen to you is permanent.

Stay strong man!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: syndrome on October 03, 2012, 07:41:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.
dam are you magiver or some thing man? i figger you wood a needed at leest a rench. or duck tape. duck tape fixs any thing.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 03, 2012, 12:20:00 PM
Quote from: Syndrome
Quote from: Dozer99
Got the water pump changed on the F350 today using a toothpick and one bag of Pumpkin Seeds! Never thought I could have done it without the Bitch, but I did.
dam are you magiver or some thing man? i figger you wood a needed at leest a rench. or duck tape. duck tape fixs any thing.
Oh Snap, Your on to me. It was an easy fix but the pumpkin seeds keep spinning off the serpintine belt and the toothpick is under a lot of stress!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 19, 2012, 04:03:00 PM
I have been denying her for awhile now and she does not like it. She wants to be heard, she wants to be seen and she wants attention, and I most definitely have not been giving it to her. She will find a way to sneak in and whisper in your ear every once in awhile. You have to know this, It is important to understand that you are not allowing this to happen, itÂ’s just going to happen. If you understand, and prepare yourself for an unexpected visit every now and then, you will be stronger for it. You must have a defensive wall, one that is not weak, one that you can shore up when it starts to crack, if you do this then you will be stronger. You need to have allies, ones that you can reach out too, for support. If you have these allies, than you will be stronger for it.

She will still try, try to get past the wall, past your allies, past your strength. I say prepare for it and let her come. Bring her right up close, close enough to look into her soul and see the lies, the hate, the death that waits there. Stand face to face with your addiction and haul off and slap the Bitch full on in the face. Face you enemy and you will not be caught off guard. You will feel the pain, you will feel the fog of confusion, you will even feel weakness, but you can overcome it. Face her and see the Bitch for what “it” is, It’s your addiction, staring you back in the face. Don’t ever let it sneak around behind you, face it, always turn and face it head on. If you don’t, you won’t see “it” eating away at your resolve.

I have been denying her for awhile now, my addiction, and she doesn’t like it. She wants attention. So I turn the spot light on her. Here is my addiction, right here, for everyone to see. I have nothing to hide, I am an addict. I scream at the top of my lungs the words she fears the most, that which my addiction hates, the words that shore up my wall, and the words that keep me strong. “I AM QUIT”
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: per034 on October 19, 2012, 04:05:00 PM
Quote from: Dozer99
I have been denying her for awhile now and she does not like it. She wants to be heard, she wants to be seen and she wants attention, and I most definitely have not been giving it to her. She will find a way to sneak in and whisper in your ear every once in awhile. You have to know this, It is important to understand that you are not allowing this to happen, itÂ’s just going to happen. If you understand, and prepare yourself for an unexpected visit every now and then, you will be stronger for it. You must have a defensive wall, one that is not weak, one that you can shore up when it starts to crack, if you do this then you will be stronger. You need to have allies, ones that you can reach out too, for support. If you have these allies, than you will be stronger for it.

She will still try, try to get past the wall, past your allies, past your strength. I say prepare for it and let her come. Bring her right up close, close enough to look into her soul and see the lies, the hate, the death that waits there. Stand face to face with your addiction and haul off and slap the Bitch full on in the face. Face you enemy and you will not be caught off guard. You will feel the pain, you will feel the fog of confusion, you will even feel weakness, but you can overcome it. Face her and see the Bitch for what “it” is, It’s your addiction, staring you back in the face. Don’t ever let it sneak around behind you, face it, always turn and face it head on. If you don’t, you won’t see “it” eating away at your resolve.

I have been denying her for awhile now, my addiction, and she doesn’t like it. She wants attention. So I turn the spot light on her. Here is my addiction, right here, for everyone to see. I have nothing to hide, I am an addict. I scream at the top of my lungs the words she fears the most, that which my addiction hates, the words that shore up my wall, and the words that keep me strong. “I AM QUIT”
'worship'
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: lcwb96 on October 23, 2012, 09:18:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
I have been denying her for awhile now and she does not like it. She wants to be heard, she wants to be seen and she wants attention, and I most definitely have not been giving it to her. She will find a way to sneak in and whisper in your ear every once in awhile. You have to know this, It is important to understand that you are not allowing this to happen, itÂ’s just going to happen. If you understand, and prepare yourself for an unexpected visit every now and then, you will be stronger for it. You must have a defensive wall, one that is not weak, one that you can shore up when it starts to crack, if you do this then you will be stronger. You need to have allies, ones that you can reach out too, for support. If you have these allies, than you will be stronger for it.

She will still try, try to get past the wall, past your allies, past your strength. I say prepare for it and let her come. Bring her right up close, close enough to look into her soul and see the lies, the hate, the death that waits there. Stand face to face with your addiction and haul off and slap the Bitch full on in the face. Face you enemy and you will not be caught off guard. You will feel the pain, you will feel the fog of confusion, you will even feel weakness, but you can overcome it. Face her and see the Bitch for what “it” is, It’s your addiction, staring you back in the face. Don’t ever let it sneak around behind you, face it, always turn and face it head on. If you don’t, you won’t see “it” eating away at your resolve.

I have been denying her for awhile now, my addiction, and she doesn’t like it. She wants attention. So I turn the spot light on her. Here is my addiction, right here, for everyone to see. I have nothing to hide, I am an addict. I scream at the top of my lungs the words she fears the most, that which my addiction hates, the words that shore up my wall, and the words that keep me strong. “I AM QUIT”
You gotta post this on the December Quit Page!!!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 23, 2012, 10:41:00 AM
Quote from: lcwb96
Quote from: Dozer99
I have been denying her for awhile now and she does not like it. She wants to be heard, she wants to be seen and she wants attention, and I most definitely have not been giving it to her. She will find a way to sneak in and whisper in your ear every once in awhile. You have to know this, It is important to understand that you are not allowing this to happen, it’s just going to happen. If you understand, and prepare yourself for an unexpected visit every now and then, you will be stronger for it. You must have a defensive wall, one that is not weak, one that you can shore up when it starts to crack, if you do this then you will be stronger.  You need to have allies, ones that you can reach out too, for support. If you have these allies, than you will be stronger for it.

She will still try, try to get past the wall, past your allies, past your strength. I say prepare for it and let her come. Bring her right up close, close enough to look into her soul and see the lies, the hate, the death that waits there. Stand face to face with your addiction and haul off and slap the Bitch full on in the face.  Face you enemy and you will not be caught off guard. You will feel the pain, you will feel the fog of confusion, you will even feel weakness, but you can overcome it. Face her and see the Bitch for what “it” is, It’s your addiction, staring you back in the face. Don’t ever let it sneak around behind you, face it, always turn and face it head on. If you don’t, you won’t see “it” eating away at your resolve. 

I have been denying her for awhile now, my addiction, and she doesn’t like it. She wants attention. So I turn the spot light on her. Here is my addiction, right here, for everyone to see. I have nothing to hide, I am an addict. I scream at the top of my lungs the words she fears the most, that which my addiction hates, the words that shore up my wall, and the words that keep me strong. “I AM QUIT”
You gotta post this on the December Quit Page!!!
If you want, it would be better if you did it. I have a bad habit of screwing stuff like that up.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 27, 2012, 06:21:00 PM
'bang head' Not the best Day, but this too shall pass. I am Quit!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: mfkuss on October 27, 2012, 08:34:00 PM
Quote from: Dozer99
'bang head' Not the best Day, but this too shall pass. I am Quit!
Hang in there, man! You got my number...text or call if you need me!

Stay strong! I stay quit with you today!

Tomorrow, I'll quit with you again!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on October 28, 2012, 12:16:00 PM
Quote from: mfkuss
Hang in there, man! You got my number...text or call if you need me!

Stay strong! I stay quit with you today!

Tomorrow, I'll quit with you again!
mfkuss, thanks, I got this. Just needed to hit my virtual head in cyberspace. I am Quit with you today!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on November 02, 2012, 06:47:00 PM
I chipped a tooth and threw macaroni and cheese on the ceiling last night! Had some kind of weird crave/shaking episode for a couple of minutes last night. I figured the oral fixation thing is why I tried to ram a beer bottle in my mouth past closed teeth, but I still can't explain the macaroni flinging. One minute I'm holding a bowl of Mac-n-C and the next the ceiling is dripping with it. All I could do was laugh. Oh well, At least my Quit is still Strong like Bull!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Dozer99 on November 15, 2012, 02:09:00 AM
Is this some weird shit or what? Approaching 70 and there is fog and cravings again. Jumped in the chat room and no shit Bubba, that shit saved me. Just talking with Suds and hal made the crave go away. Time to reach down and tighten up the boot straps. Pull them fuckers up hard and dig down deep. When you get complacent, guess what, there she is, the nic bitch. Waiting for you. At this point in your quit, it's a simple matter of reaching out. Chat, txt, phone, anything, just a simple get off your ass and ask for help, makes the Crave go away. You would have to be a lunatic to not reach out for help. Keep your guard up, I know mine is.....(that's how I caught her tonight). I am Quit.
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: Grizzly25 on November 15, 2012, 08:20:00 AM
Quote from: Dozer99
Is this some weird shit or what? Approaching 70 and there is fog and cravings again. Jumped in the chat room and no shit Bubba, that shit saved me. Just talking with Suds and hal made the crave go away. Time to reach down and tighten up the boot straps. Pull them fuckers up hard and dig down deep. When you get complacent, guess what, there she is, the nic bitch. Waiting for you. At this point in your quit, it's a simple matter of reaching out. Chat, txt, phone, anything, just a simple get off your ass and ask for help, makes the Crave go away. You would have to be a lunatic to not reach out for help. Keep your guard up, I know mine is.....(that's how I caught her tonight). I am Quit.
Good victory!

Never let your guard down that nic-bitch is always waiting for you to slip up or have even the slightest moment of weakness!

It sounds like your quit plan is working keep kicking that ass all the way to HOF brother!
Title: Re: Quitting today, tomorrow and forever!
Post by: DiplessinJax on November 15, 2012, 08:36:00 AM
Quote from: Grizzly25
Quote from: Dozer99
Is this some weird shit or what? Approaching 70 and there is fog and cravings again. Jumped in the chat room and no shit Bubba, that shit saved me. Just talking with Suds and hal made the crave go away. Time to reach down and tighten up the boot straps. Pull them fuckers up hard and dig down deep. When you get complacent, guess what, there she is, the nic bitch. Waiting for you. At this point in your quit, it's a simple matter of reaching out. Chat, txt, phone, anything, just a simple get off your ass and ask for help, makes the Crave go away. You would have to be a lunatic to not reach out for help. Keep your guard up, I know mine is.....(that's how I caught her tonight). I am Quit.
Good victory!

Never let your guard down that nic-bitch is always waiting for you to slip up or have even the slightest moment of weakness!

It sounds like your quit plan is working keep kicking that ass all the way to HOF brother!
Same thing happened to me at day 70. I was geeked to be at 10-weeks then felt a fog and cravings that haven't been there in over a month. My company has paid me to troll this site all week but my quit is solid again. Thanks to suds, derek, kdip, bis-cut and others in chat. My Dec. 12 quit brothers through emails. All got me focused and born again hard towards my quit.

Stay quit Dozer. We all need you here.

Jax