KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: tsj12b on July 07, 2014, 08:03:00 PM
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Hello all
My quit stared the 4th, which was also my retirement party from the USCG. I didn't really plan to quit, hell I had givin up on quiting for at least the last 10 years. I just accepted that Cope and I would be together forever. I was sitting there packing my first dip of the day with my coffee and just thought about how I had started dipping in Army OSUT. Now I'm retired from the military and starting over in life and I just kind of said f'it. I figured if I could make it through that day that I'd be too hung over on the 5th to care about a dip. I might have overdone it because it didn't really start to suck until the hangover headache went away last night. I figure I can do anything for a day. I've lived a large portion of my adult life 1 day at a time because to look beyond that was too overwhelming. I don't know why I never looked at the quit like that.
I figured I'd either go get a can and waste the past 3 days or I'd actually register and post on roll call and an intro. Pretty glad I posted instead of getting in the truck and heading to the store.
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Hello all
My quit stared the 4th, which was also my retirement party from the USCG. I didn't really plan to quit, hell I had givin up on quiting for at least the last 10 years. I just accepted that Cope and I would be together forever. I was sitting there packing my first dip of the day with my coffee and just thought about how I had started dipping in Army OSUT. Now I'm retired from the military and starting over in life and I just kind of said f'it. I figured if I could make it through that day that I'd be too hung over on the 5th to care about a dip. I might have overdone it because it didn't really start to suck until the hangover headache went away last night. I figure I can do anything for a day. I've lived a large portion of my adult life 1 day at a time because to look beyond that was too overwhelming. I don't know why I never looked at the quit like that.
I figured I'd either go get a can and waste the past 3 days or I'd actually register and post on roll call and an intro. Pretty glad I posted instead of getting in the truck and heading to the store.
Good choice. Fuck the store and their racks of death weed.
Make sure you read the welcome center. And if you really want to succeed you will fully commit to the program here.
Congrats. I quit with you today.
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Hello all
My quit stared the 4th, which was also my retirement party from the USCG. I didn't really plan to quit, hell I had givin up on quiting for at least the last 10 years. I just accepted that Cope and I would be together forever. I was sitting there packing my first dip of the day with my coffee and just thought about how I had started dipping in Army OSUT. Now I'm retired from the military and starting over in life and I just kind of said f'it. I figured if I could make it through that day that I'd be too hung over on the 5th to care about a dip. I might have overdone it because it didn't really start to suck until the hangover headache went away last night. I figure I can do anything for a day. I've lived a large portion of my adult life 1 day at a time because to look beyond that was too overwhelming. I don't know why I never looked at the quit like that.
I figured I'd either go get a can and waste the past 3 days or I'd actually register and post on roll call and an intro. Pretty glad I posted instead of getting in the truck and heading to the store.
Good choice. Fuck the store and their racks of death weed.
Make sure you read the welcome center. And if you really want to succeed you will fully commit to the program here.
Congrats. I quit with you today.
Welcome brother. I'm brand new here as well. It's really hard in the beginning. I mean real hard. I'm at day 8, it's getting better. I believe your In my quit group come take roll call. I'll see you soon.
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Hello all
My quit stared the 4th, which was also my retirement party from the USCG. I didn't really plan to quit, hell I had givin up on quiting for at least the last 10 years. I just accepted that Cope and I would be together forever. I was sitting there packing my first dip of the day with my coffee and just thought about how I had started dipping in Army OSUT. Now I'm retired from the military and starting over in life and I just kind of said f'it. I figured if I could make it through that day that I'd be too hung over on the 5th to care about a dip. I might have overdone it because it didn't really start to suck until the hangover headache went away last night. I figure I can do anything for a day. I've lived a large portion of my adult life 1 day at a time because to look beyond that was too overwhelming. I don't know why I never looked at the quit like that.
I figured I'd either go get a can and waste the past 3 days or I'd actually register and post on roll call and an intro. Pretty glad I posted instead of getting in the truck and heading to the store.
Good choice. Fuck the store and their racks of death weed.
Make sure you read the welcome center. And if you really want to succeed you will fully commit to the program here.
Congrats. I quit with you today.
Welcome brother. I'm brand new here as well. It's really hard in the beginning. I mean real hard. I'm at day 8, it's getting better. I believe your In my quit group come take roll call. I'll see you soon.
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TSJ,
First thanks for your service! Second, congrats on the best decision you will have made in a while. The KTC plan is quite simple and your take it a day at a time approach will serve you well.
1. Post Roll each morning....Promise yourself, us your family that you will not use nicotine for 24 hours. Be a man of your word and uphold your promise and repeat every 24 hours. Here is a tip for you about positing roll. Post as soon as you can because if you don't take roll serious your quit will be in jeopardy. I don't even have a year here at KTC and can tell you that when I see guys half assed on roll they end up as cagers 90% of the time. Take it serious and it will pay dividends.
2. Remember you (we) are addicts and as such we cannot ever use nicotine in any form. PERIOD
3. Get digits from people here at KTC especially in your group to help keep you accountable. Have a plan for the monster craves you will have. A plan might be something as simple as slamming your nuts in a drawer 3 times and then calling each person you have in your phone from KTC to ask for permission to go buy a can and take a dip.
4. Welcome aboard and if you need digits shoot me a PM........
Quit with you today!
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Happy for you my friend. Get with your October brethren and post roll every freakin day. Don't miss. Don't miss for anything. Read what the roll says. Understand that you are promising all of these guys that you promise to quit for that day, and they you. I'm happy to call you a quitter with me my friend. Best of luck!
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Thanks for the welcome and encouragement. Sometimes we get what we need when we need it. That goes against the planner in me, but something just felt right about chucking the can. I was feeling pretty down and craving, but last night I decided to wait until morning before running to the store and found this site.
I can withstand anything for a day.
Tom
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Thanks for the welcome and encouragement. Sometimes we get what we need when we need it. That goes against the planner in me, but something just felt right about chucking the can. I was feeling pretty down and craving, but last night I decided to wait until morning before running to the store and found this site.
I can withstand anything for a day.
Tom
That is so spot on Tom. When you go one day at a time it really isn't so overwhelming. Quitting has been one of the hardest things I've done, but it hasn't been as hard as I've thought, because each day I've made a promise and took my addiction seriously. Good luck quiting with a quit life as a civvy!
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Welcome tsj, thank you for your service and I quit with you today!
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I'm putting this out there now so I can't use it as a cop out later. Don't get me wrong, this transition from a hard charging, fast boat driving BMC, to a med retired, half-broke dick, beard starting, long hair maybe growing, soon to be college student is hard, but I think it's a blessing for my quit.
I'm not around many things that were automatic lip loaders, well besides waking up, drinking coffee and breathing, but at least not all the other things. I'm not around my whole damn crew of nic addicts to rub it in my face constantly threatening my quit without even having to go to a damn store.
So I'm putting it out there. Maybe my back is hurting, my hip is locked up, my foot is on fire, my PTSD demons are extra wicked, I hate my professors, I hate my fellow students, this fucking transition sucks ass so fuck the quit, I need that shit, whatever other bullshit I'm thinking, it's easier doing it now with momentum of my Quit and all the other shit is just an out.
Don't be a pussy Tom and Quit for just 1 more day.
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I'm putting this out there now so I can't use it as a cop out later. Don't get me wrong, this transition from a hard charging, fast boat driving BMC, to a med retired, half-broke dick, beard starting, long hair maybe growing, soon to be college student is hard, but I think it's a blessing for my quit.
I'm not around many things that were automatic lip loaders, well besides waking up, drinking coffee and breathing, but at least not all the other things. I'm not around my whole damn crew of nic addicts to rub it in my face constantly threatening my quit without even having to go to a damn store.
So I'm putting it out there. Maybe my back is hurting, my hip is locked up, my foot is on fire, my PTSD demons are extra wicked, I hate my professors, I hate my fellow students, this fucking transition sucks ass so fuck the quit, I need that shit, whatever other bullshit I'm thinking, it's easier doing it now with momentum of my Quit and all the other shit is just an out.
Don't be a pussy Tom and Quit for just 1 more day.
It might be a cliche Tom, but one day at a time (ODAAT), really does work. If you can endure today, you can endure tomorrow. It slowly gets better and I PROMISE if you stay quit ODAAT you will not regret going through this hell you are living in right now. Thanks for your service! I was so weak but even I managed to get thru it. You can too!
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I'm putting this out there now so I can't use it as a cop out later. Don't get me wrong, this transition from a hard charging, fast boat driving BMC, to a med retired, half-broke dick, beard starting, long hair maybe growing, soon to be college student is hard, but I think it's a blessing for my quit.
I'm not around many things that were automatic lip loaders, well besides waking up, drinking coffee and breathing, but at least not all the other things. I'm not around my whole damn crew of nic addicts to rub it in my face constantly threatening my quit without even having to go to a damn store.
So I'm putting it out there. Maybe my back is hurting, my hip is locked up, my foot is on fire, my PTSD demons are extra wicked, I hate my professors, I hate my fellow students, this fucking transition sucks ass so fuck the quit, I need that shit, whatever other bullshit I'm thinking, it's easier doing it now with momentum of my Quit and all the other shit is just an out.
Don't be a pussy Tom and Quit for just 1 more day.
Just one more fuggin day! Do it! 1 more fuggin day is all it takes, friend. Trust me- this gets better- real soon. You got this, friend... like a boss.
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Tom, nice post above. Use this as a rolling log for reference, it is just another tool we have to remind ourselves what it is we have at stake. Being introspective and honest during your quit, especially at the start is critical to a successful quit. Quit with today!
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I've felt like complete shit the past two days. Still do today. Like the Balkan crud, mixed with the flu and a hangover. I know it's just the Nic Bitch's way of trying to draw me in. How she will ease my pain, just like I thought she was doing for the past 17 years, all the while she was really just trying to control me.
I never really thought about the control this drug had/trys to still have, over me. I was an open dipper, in fact my wife didn't like my last attempt at quit probably 13 or 14 years ago so much, that she never pressured me again. I worked mainly outside until towards the end of my career, and then I have my own "mystical mess" and office that I dipped in, against government rules. Looking back now though, she controlled so many things. I couldn't get a boat underway without her. Any high-risk evolution, she was there beside me. I didn't think much about it at the time, but everytime I looked away for a second to spit, she was controlling my SA and compromising the safety of the evolution. Thank God she never did, but she increased a risky business.
I spent a huge amount of money on her, and she never gave me anything real in return. She gave me the facade of a calming influence, but that's all it was, a facade. I've mentioned that I have PTSD. It's pretty severe, but I've worked my ass off the past 19 months since I finally sought help. I've learned that I provide calm by controlling my breathing, pausing my thoughts, working on physical cues that relate to mental images I've prepared, all kinds of pysch-babble kumbaha shit. And just like with that, I've taken what works for me and put it on the top shelf of my tool box, the rest I put down low. I don't throw it away because it might have value later, or I can adapt it. That's how I feel about this site. I'm not big on the, what seems to me, false bravado of in your face that many people have. To me, it seems like the bs of any course, class, CCTI, SLC that I've been through in the past. But, maybe it works for others, so I put that down on the bottom shelf and don't let it interfer with my Quit. I think some people are over the top on the quitting nicotine is the most important thing in life part, and that death is only a $5 can away. I've never had the hint of a scare, my dentist never made note of my dipping, even at 2 cans a day. Good genes I guess, but quitting nicotine isn't the most important thing to me. I battle minute by minute with my demons. I've been at the immediate point of death from my PTSD. I've driven off into the ice, I've had the metal in my mouth, that is why I constantly stand on guard that I don't fall into the downward spiral that I've been in before. It takes constant watch, vigilance, dedication for me to survive in the life that I'm trying to create for me. Added to the daily pain from failed surgeries, burnt nerves and other things, quiting the nic bitch isn't the most immediately important thing in my life. My quit is something that I want to do. I had the perfect opportunity with retirement changing my environment, added to having a solid set of coping skills and one morning of realizing I didn't enjoy it anymore equaled quit. Now, I think about how much she controlled my life and I hate her for her deception. I've got a solid group of guys, and gal, in my group, on my team and I quit with them out of loyalty. My team are my Brothers, and I will do anything for my Brothers. At roll call, I give my word that I won't use nicotine for that day, and my word is solid, it's everything to me. I know I can do anything for a day. Those are the tools that I put on my top shelf, breathing exercises, my quit group and roll call. They help get me through the day, and I try to give back to them just as much.
This got kind of rambling, but it's my thoughts of my quit to look back on. To remember the tools that work for me. I'm not knocking anyone else's thoughts or methods, just for me to remember down the road or when I start swerving. Whatever works for the Quit, besides heroin and adultery, I'm good with, because this bitch is strong.
I don't ever have to feel the physical illness I feel right now ever again. Every day I get further away from the destructive relationship with the Nic Bitch.
Tom
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Shitty fucking day, but they happen. Long day at the VA dealing with stupidity and getting nothing accomplished. I hate how noisy that place is so my PTSD is tweaking and aroussed like a mofo. Having to spend my energy keeping the demons at bay and staying in the here in now takes energy away from my QUIT. I made sure I had Jolly Rancher's so that was smart and helped with the oral fixation, but the Cope Slut was such a crutch that I used when annoyed or stressed. I really had to work at my quit today once I left the VA. In the truck and straight home. I was dying of thirst from having to fast and then not getting blood drawn until afternoon, but I knew I couldn't stop and get something. Nic Bitch was begging me to come pick her up at every store I passed, telling me all kind of lies of how she was on my side and would help keep the demons at bay. I'm smarter and stronger now though. I know she's a false friend and Blue Falcon. I said no to the goldigging whore that is Nicotine today.
Lessons learned today:
Shit that I know that is going to be a stress-er, but I have to go out and about to, have some fake in the truck. I'm not a big fan of fake chew, not judging those that do, I just don't really like what I've tried so far, but keep a can in the truck for these times.
Letting my Quit Group know when it's going to be rough is key. VaYooper sending a morning check-in put my promise to my group right in front of my mind, even though I didn't post roll before I left, my promise to them was out there in public. The rest of the jackasses posting about where I was and what I was supposedly doing in our chat let's me know I'm not alone and solidifies that my QUIT isn't just mine, but I'm part of a Greater Quit.
The support and accountability that I've built is what got me home today. You have to work at the QUIT even when it's easier, so that when that Bitch comes on strong, you're strong and prepared. If you half-ass it and don't work to have a network, then when those really rough days come, you won't be prepared. Work your QUIT everyday to strengthen it just a little more. Reach out to someone. Get to know something about your group. Let them know what's going on with you so they can watch your 6.
Don't be casual with the QUIT, that Nic Bitch is always watching and waiting. Checking and probing to see where your weaknesses are. You have to self-assess and do buddy check's so you know where your weaknesses are beforehand and have a plan so she can't exploit them.
I'm QUIT today with the TITANS of QUIT.
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Shitty fucking day, but they happen. Long day at the VA dealing with stupidity and getting nothing accomplished. I hate how noisy that place is so my PTSD is tweaking and aroussed like a mofo. Having to spend my energy keeping the demons at bay and staying in the here in now takes energy away from my QUIT. I made sure I had Jolly Rancher's so that was smart and helped with the oral fixation, but the Cope Slut was such a crutch that I used when annoyed or stressed. I really had to work at my quit today once I left the VA. In the truck and straight home. I was dying of thirst from having to fast and then not getting blood drawn until afternoon, but I knew I couldn't stop and get something. Nic Bitch was begging me to come pick her up at every store I passed, telling me all kind of lies of how she was on my side and would help keep the demons at bay. I'm smarter and stronger now though. I know she's a false friend and Blue Falcon. I said no to the goldigging whore that is Nicotine today.
Lessons learned today:
Shit that I know that is going to be a stress-er, but I have to go out and about to, have some fake in the truck. I'm not a big fan of fake chew, not judging those that do, I just don't really like what I've tried so far, but keep a can in the truck for these times.
Letting my Quit Group know when it's going to be rough is key. VaYooper sending a morning check-in put my promise to my group right in front of my mind, even though I didn't post roll before I left, my promise to them was out there in public. The rest of the jackasses posting about where I was and what I was supposedly doing in our chat let's me know I'm not alone and solidifies that my QUIT isn't just mine, but I'm part of a Greater Quit.
The support and accountability that I've built is what got me home today. You have to work at the QUIT even when it's easier, so that when that Bitch comes on strong, you're strong and prepared. If you half-ass it and don't work to have a network, then when those really rough days come, you won't be prepared. Work your QUIT everyday to strengthen it just a little more. Reach out to someone. Get to know something about your group. Let them know what's going on with you so they can watch your 6.
Don't be casual with the QUIT, that Nic Bitch is always watching and waiting. Checking and probing to see where your weaknesses are. You have to self-assess and do buddy check's so you know where your weaknesses are beforehand and have a plan so she can't exploit them.
I'm QUIT today with the TITANS of QUIT.
Very nice.
Have you been to the military forums in wildcard? Lots of ex and current military. Even some cost guard. 'na na'
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Something we were talking about on Kakao last night that I want to remember. I hope that some day I stop thinking about the can, but when I do think about it, I always want to be angry.
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Something we were talking about on Kakao last night that I want to remember. I hope that some day I stop thinking about the can, but when I do think about it, I always want to be angry.
... Or not.
I tried being angry. I worked hard at it but... It's just not in me to be that kinda guy. I do, however, hate nicotine with a passion. It may seem like a fine line... So be it.
Right now, at 456, I'm VERY content to be in a position where it's rare that I do think about it. Obviously bro... You do what works for you! It's your quit... Rock it like you need to. I'm just presenting a flip-side... I'd rather not expend any more energy or thought on it. It owned me for 25 years. Now?... I'm in control. That freedom is what I dig and I want to enjoy it.
Rock on bro...
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I understand what your saying Applejack. Angry probably isn't the word I'm looking for. I really hope that the time comes when Cope never crosses my mind. I just never want to forget how much she sucked getting rid of, when she does cross my mind randomly.
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I understand what your saying Applejack. Angry probably isn't the word I'm looking for. I really hope that the time comes when Cope never crosses my mind. I just never want to forget how much she sucked getting rid of, when she does cross my mind randomly.
Good posting bro. My thoughts; i don't crave much anymore at 516 but i don't think I'll/we will ever really forget it exists. What has actually been part of our lives for years.
I'm ok with that. I except what i can't change, but the person I'm becoming because of this experience means something. I'm turning what could have been an absolute bad outcome into somethimg worth remembering. Quit with you today. Keep that strong quit going, it's worth it
You go my word.
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Just kind of cruising right now. Craves are down and weaker. Using this time to build my knowledge and awareness because I know it's just a phase. Nic Bitch will be attacking soon and I need to know what to expect. Also using this time to reach out to some newer guys. Hard to cave when people are looking to you.
Last night really cool thing happened. SP posted up on our Kakao group that a new guy was on our group roll page hurting and looking for support. Within minutes, and this was pretty late/early at night/morning, a few of us were on there posting to the guy and even had him signed up and in the Kakao chat. Guy said we helped keep him quit. Awesome use of tools and our October group reaching out. Felt pretty damn good.
Roll and just the positive peer pressure of the group are still the tools that I'm getting the most benefit from.
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Just kind of cruising right now. Craves are down and weaker. Using this time to build my knowledge and awareness because I know it's just a phase. Nic Bitch will be attacking soon and I need to know what to expect. Also using this time to reach out to some newer guys. Hard to cave when people are looking to you.
Last night really cool thing happened. SP posted up on our Kakao group that a new guy was on our group roll page hurting and looking for support. Within minutes, and this was pretty late/early at night/morning, a few of us were on there posting to the guy and even had him signed up and in the Kakao chat. Guy said we helped keep him quit. Awesome use of tools and our October group reaching out. Felt pretty damn good.
Roll and just the positive peer pressure of the group are still the tools that I'm getting the most benefit from.
Way to do it. You get it. Get the tool box prepped and ready. ODAAT.
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Just kind of cruising right now. Craves are down and weaker. Using this time to build my knowledge and awareness because I know it's just a phase. Nic Bitch will be attacking soon and I need to know what to expect. Also using this time to reach out to some newer guys. Hard to cave when people are looking to you.
Last night really cool thing happened. SP posted up on our Kakao group that a new guy was on our group roll page hurting and looking for support. Within minutes, and this was pretty late/early at night/morning, a few of us were on there posting to the guy and even had him signed up and in the Kakao chat. Guy said we helped keep him quit. Awesome use of tools and our October group reaching out. Felt pretty damn good.
Roll and just the positive peer pressure of the group are still the tools that I'm getting the most benefit from.
Bro, you've got a wisdom in your voice ... well, in your written word anyway. I sense you doing great things with the Titans in the days to come. I agree about one of your earlier posts regarding too many keyboard bravado brothers, but you are wise enough to just slide them into that bottom toolbox. Always help the quit ... yours and your brothers ... never hinder it. I'm pretty sure that is a pearl I picked up that was dropped by a vet before me, but I try to support its mentality. Thank you for your service brother, and for making my quit stronger this Saturday afternoon. I'll quit with you today, and I have a plan to wake up and do it again tomorrow, see you on roll ...
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Tone is so important. You can have the best message in the world, but if it isn't received then you're just pissing in the wind. Something to remember as a sender.
Tone isn't always important. If you can look past the tone that makes someone seem like an ass, you might just receive a good message. Something to remember as a receiver.
I think people's tone or attitude bothers me so much because my natural inclination is to be an asshole. I work hard not to be one, so I'm probably more inclined to notice or be bothered by someone assholeness. Sometimes, I should cut and paste a message, then remove the part that makes me want to throat punch someone and read what remains. Sometimes you might still just find a steamy turd, but sometimes you'll find a gem.
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Unfucking roll sucks, but try it sometime. Don't just unfuck your group, unfuck the supporters to. It's kind of a weird narcissistic sense of accomplishment.
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Man, my group is tightening up. Getting to know people on a personal level and having not just ownership of your own QUIT, but the Group Quit is some powerful stuff.
Entering a Fantasy Football league with some of my Titan Brothers and another one with some of my KTC family at large. That takes us through December and you can't play FF with Quitters if you're a Caver. I'm still ODAAT and always will be, but setting up things where it would be awkward and downright painful to cave is a good thing.
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Day 25. Quarter way to the immediate milestone. While I know the numbers say how few will make it with me to the HOF and beyond, it stills hurts when a Titan falls to the wayside. I'm still bothered by Idaho Minor. He was active, but I guess didn't truly buy in. He is the only active guy that used Kakao that is gone, so something is going well there. I truly think making the personal connections is key. Once you stop giving your word to letters and numbers on Roll, but instead to people that are becoming friends it makes it real.
While I want to be invested in all the members of my group, I can't let it hurt my QUIT when they cave.
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I posted this on October's roll in response to a misplaced attempt by someone to demonstrate the power of the Group Quit and accountability. I don't want to lose it and maybe there is something here that someone else can use, so here it goes:
It's a good thing I read to the bottom because you were getting me spun up.
I'm not saying what I'm about to say works for everyone, but it is the approach I'm taking. We could get into the mechanics of how certain people's brains work versus other, but my mental approach to my QUIT is based upon my path to control of my PTSD and is what I've worked out with my therapist and Doc......having said that....
I'm trying very hard to reinforce to myself that I don't crave. I don't use Tobacco so why would I crave it? I don't crave raw Sushi, rocky mountain oysters, huffing paint or getting banged in the ass, so why would I crave nicotine? I don't dip Copenhagon, nor do I enjoy it. "Craving" it, gives it power over me. Now, I am addicted to Nicotine, always will be and the Nic Bitch tries to tell me that I want, need and desire her, but she is a liar. I severed the dysfunctinal relationship I had with her. I don't dip!
Now, when I feel her whispering in my ear, I replace my thought from "oh I'm craving so bad I better not cave" to instead telling myself "I dont dip, I have a lot of friends that don't dip and the Nic Bitch is a liar.". I literally say this to myself. It works off of repitition, thought shifting, backed by the reminder that I have friends that don't dip( Titans). Implied in that last part is the reminder of the Group Quit and my promise of roll.
Now, I'm not saying this is how everyone can/should approach it, but it is how I'm worling to remove what some would call the "mental" crave. I also ensure I have physical replacements that I use BEFORE those moments/activities where I'm learning the Big bitch works hardest as oppossed to a response from her. Everything is geared towards removing the power from the drug. I do however keep fake for an emergency, that whole anything except heroin or adultury to protect my QUIT.
Just my 2 cents
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I posted this on October's roll in response to a misplaced attempt by someone to demonstrate the power of the Group Quit and accountability. I don't want to lose it and maybe there is something here that someone else can use, so here it goes:
It's a good thing I read to the bottom because you were getting me spun up.
I'm not saying what I'm about to say works for everyone, but it is the approach I'm taking. We could get into the mechanics of how certain people's brains work versus other, but my mental approach to my QUIT is based upon my path to control of my PTSD and is what I've worked out with my therapist and Doc......having said that....
I'm trying very hard to reinforce to myself that I don't crave. I don't use Tobacco so why would I crave it? I don't crave raw Sushi, rocky mountain oysters, huffing paint or getting banged in the ass, so why would I crave nicotine? I don't dip Copenhagon, nor do I enjoy it. "Craving" it, gives it power over me. Now, I am addicted to Nicotine, always will be and the Nic Bitch tries to tell me that I want, need and desire her, but she is a liar. I severed the dysfunctinal relationship I had with her. I don't dip!
Now, when I feel her whispering in my ear, I replace my thought from "oh I'm craving so bad I better not cave" to instead telling myself "I dont dip, I have a lot of friends that don't dip and the Nic Bitch is a liar.". I literally say this to myself. It works off of repitition, thought shifting, backed by the reminder that I have friends that don't dip( Titans). Implied in that last part is the reminder of the Group Quit and my promise of roll.
Now, I'm not saying this is how everyone can/should approach it, but it is how I'm worling to remove what some would call the "mental" crave. I also ensure I have physical replacements that I use BEFORE those moments/activities where I'm learning the Big bitch works hardest as oppossed to a response from her. Everything is geared towards removing the power from the drug. I do however keep fake for an emergency, that whole anything except heroin or adultury to protect my QUIT.
Just my 2 cents
nic TSJ - I see some good learning going on in here for you. Put down your thoughts, and those of others. Take what you need. And here is a good place to put it so you can reference it.
keep that sponge-like attitude and arm yourself with what you can.
well done
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I posted this on October's roll in response to a misplaced attempt by someone to demonstrate the power of the Group Quit and accountability. I don't want to lose it and maybe there is something here that someone else can use, so here it goes:
It's a good thing I read to the bottom because you were getting me spun up.
I'm not saying what I'm about to say works for everyone, but it is the approach I'm taking. We could get into the mechanics of how certain people's brains work versus other, but my mental approach to my QUIT is based upon my path to control of my PTSD and is what I've worked out with my therapist and Doc......having said that....
I'm trying very hard to reinforce to myself that I don't crave. I don't use Tobacco so why would I crave it? I don't crave raw Sushi, rocky mountain oysters, huffing paint or getting banged in the ass, so why would I crave nicotine? I don't dip Copenhagon, nor do I enjoy it. "Craving" it, gives it power over me. Now, I am addicted to Nicotine, always will be and the Nic Bitch tries to tell me that I want, need and desire her, but she is a liar. I severed the dysfunctinal relationship I had with her. I don't dip!
Now, when I feel her whispering in my ear, I replace my thought from "oh I'm craving so bad I better not cave" to instead telling myself "I dont dip, I have a lot of friends that don't dip and the Nic Bitch is a liar.". I literally say this to myself. It works off of repitition, thought shifting, backed by the reminder that I have friends that don't dip( Titans). Implied in that last part is the reminder of the Group Quit and my promise of roll.
Now, I'm not saying this is how everyone can/should approach it, but it is how I'm worling to remove what some would call the "mental" crave. I also ensure I have physical replacements that I use BEFORE those moments/activities where I'm learning the Big bitch works hardest as oppossed to a response from her. Everything is geared towards removing the power from the drug. I do however keep fake for an emergency, that whole anything except heroin or adultury to protect my QUIT.
Just my 2 cents
nic TSJ - I see some good learning going on in here for you. Put down your thoughts, and those of others. Take what you need. And here is a good place to put it so you can reference it.
keep that sponge-like attitude and arm yourself with what you can.
well done
Makes perfect sense to me. Keep it up.
-
Fucking rage today! Combination of several things, but I honestly don't think my Quit has an impact on it. I think for the first day since I Quit that my anger is the appropriate amount to an appropriate situation.
Oh yeah, and fuck the VA.
-
Fucking rage today! Combination of several things, but I honestly don't think my Quit has an impact on it. I think for the first day since I Quit that my anger is the appropriate amount to an appropriate situation.
Oh yeah, and fuck the VA.
And the above was Day 35 for future info.
-
Glad to be quit with you! Badass USCG brother! Even if you are a BM ya still a badass! Haha
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
"I dont like most people" I can see you as Walter Mathau "Mr. Wilson" and "Dennis the Menace" aka Bone comes running across your lawn and you try and spray him with the hose.
Joking aside. Keep the strong quit ODAAT, and it is a privilege to quit along side you.
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
"I dont like most people" I can see you as Walter Mathau "Mr. Wilson" and "Dennis the Menace" aka Bone comes running across your lawn and you try and spray him with the hose.
Joking aside. Keep the strong quit ODAAT, and it is a privilege to quit along side you.
I'd spray Bone with my hose, but then Lim would get pissed at me.
QLF with all Titans!
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
"I dont like most people" I can see you as Walter Mathau "Mr. Wilson" and "Dennis the Menace" aka Bone comes running across your lawn and you try and spray him with the hose.
Joking aside. Keep the strong quit ODAAT, and it is a privilege to quit along side you.
I'd spray Bone with my hose, but then Lim would get pissed at me.
QLF with all Titans!
Good post Tom! Proud to quit with you!!
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
"I dont like most people" I can see you as Walter Mathau "Mr. Wilson" and "Dennis the Menace" aka Bone comes running across your lawn and you try and spray him with the hose.
Joking aside. Keep the strong quit ODAAT, and it is a privilege to quit along side you.
I'd spray Bone with my hose, but then Lim would get pissed at me.
QLF with all Titans!
Good post Tom! Proud to quit with you!!
At least you have a lawn unlike some people who may have commented directly before me.
Good post, Tom. Helping my quit as usual.
-
I guess after two months of not chronicling anything I should post something to remember later. I'm cutting and pasting a pm I sent to someone struggling today. He's a combat vet and 22yr Army guy who deals with PTSD, TBI and a fucked up body also. It really kind of sums up a lot of my Quit so far:
Hey,
I was medically retired this summer after 17 years of service in the Army and Coast Guard. Lots of time in South America and both an Iraq and an A'stan tour. I live with PTSD, TBI and chronic pain, but one thing I don't live with anymore is Nicotine. I dipped since OSUT almost 18 years ago. I dipped openly and never even tried to Quit. I was up to 2 cans a day until this summer. I had my retirement party on the 4th of July and I was just sitting there thinking about it when I went to put my first dip of the morning in, how long I'd been dipping. I had a moment of clarity that if I didn't stop then, I'd never stop. I had a unique time as I was transitioning out of the service to break the habit. I Quit cold turkey without any type of plan 96 days ago. I was hurting real bad on day 4or 5 and found this site. I don't buy into a lot of people's bullshit on this site, but what does work for me is Brotherhood, Accountability and Support. I've got a group of Bad Ass guys, and two gals, that I give my word to every day that I'll make it through that day without putting nicotine into my body. At day 4 or 5, I couldn't see a week into the future, let alone 100 days of not using that shit, but I knew that I could put up with anything for 1 freaking day. So that's what I did, and still do. I post up on roll first thing after midnight or when I wake, giving my word and then I do whatever it takes to not dip. Now, it's gotten a lot easier.
I'll be honest upfront. I don't buy into a lot of this "everyone's an addict" talk that you hear on here. I don't, and neither does my head doc, consider myself a Nicotine Addict, but rather a Nicotine Abuser, but I do know that I like me without Copenhagen a lot better than with it. My lips don't hurt, my breath isn't toxic, my wife is happy, I'm not setting a bad example for my nephews, I've saved $1015 in 3 months from my "dip money" and I don't worry when I look into a can and realize I don't have enough shit to pack my lip in the morning.
There are a lot of things about me that I don't control right now. I'm fighting to regain control and some of them are going to be harder than others, but I'm not a slave to Copenhagen anymore. That's something I fought and won control over, and that's something I can build upon. One Day At A Time, because I survived Sapper School, combat, countless warrant executions, some big ass seas in the Bering Straits and I know that I can survive anything for one day. I'm a man of my word, so I give my word early to my group on roll and I do whatever it takes to survive that. Then I wake up and do it again, and slowly, each day has gotten easier. I'll be honest, a lot of the shit from therapy for my PTSD has made Quitting pretty easy compared to others. Things like thought pausing, shifting to my happy place, controlled breathing and all that. I wish it worked on my flashbacks and nightmares as good as it's gotten me through the early cravings. Which I don't crave anymore. I've practiced from the beginning telling myself, "I don't dip." Period. I burned the boat, I was winning the war or dying because I shut off any route to retreat. I would say it out loud, and slowly but surely, I began to believe it. I don't crave, because why would you crave something that you don't do? Something that is toxic? It's all about controlling, and changing your behaviors and your thoughts. A lot of people change their behavior,and that's great, they're Quit, but if you can change your though process about nicotine also, it makes Quitting so much easier. I told everyone publicly that I was Quit so that I'd be humiliated if they saw me dipping. I put 5-100 dollar bills in an envelope for my niece to keep if I caved in the first 50 days as extra incentive. I would leave money and cards at home so that I didn't have the ability to buy any shit. I got creatively crazy with it in the beginning. About day 35 or 40, I woke up and wasn't thinking about Copenhagen first thing. Now, I really don't crave even when I'm sitting here typing about it, because I don't do that shit anymore. I can talk about it, write about it, and I don't get that stupid ache that I'd get in the beginning.
I did/still do use fake chew. When I'm going fishing or working out on the ranch, I use Smokey Mountain Wintergreen. I put it in before I ever even start to get a ache or crave for the real shit, that way I don't have to fight a reaction I've banished from my system. It works for me, I only use it outside, and haven't used it without planning to, if that makes sense and if I use it until the day I die, I'm okay with that.
You can do this. I will support you and help you however I can. PM me, email me, text me, call me. I don't sleep much at night, so I don't care when it is. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a Dr. appointment, then leave a v'mail and I'll call back or text QRF and I'll walk out and call you back. There are others on this site that will help you also.
Tom
number
email
Anyway, this was what I sent him. I really don't like alot of people in this world, so it's no surprise that I don't like alot of people on this site, but I found my group. That's what I like about this place. Their are enough people from different backgrounds, ages, parts of the country opps continent, can't leave out our Canadian Quit brothers, ay, that you can find people that Quit like you. And just because I don't like someone, nor them me, we're in this battle together and will have each others back. (With the one exception of the asshat who told me he wouldn't) But I digress. Take what you need, give what you can, post roll and be a man of your word. Everything else is gravy...................................................................
.........................................and get on Kakao 'na na'
Strong post Tom. Quit with you every damn day. Glad you reached out to help ForMyFamily.
I still use the "I don't do that shit anymore". Simple but it seems to work.
Quit on fucker! Quit on!
"I dont like most people" I can see you as Walter Mathau "Mr. Wilson" and "Dennis the Menace" aka Bone comes running across your lawn and you try and spray him with the hose.
Joking aside. Keep the strong quit ODAAT, and it is a privilege to quit along side you.
I'd spray Bone with my hose, but then Lim would get pissed at me.
QLF with all Titans!
Good post Tom! Proud to quit with you!!
At least you have a lawn unlike some people who may have commented directly before me.
Good post, Tom. Helping my quit as usual.
I still don't understand how a guy can live in the greater Seattle area and have a desert for a yard. CDub's a special kind of guy.
-
I haven't posted anything on my Intro in over a hundred days and just came back to read over it. Pretty cool to see where I was and were I am now.
I still don't buy into the everyone is an addict thing that seems to be a main flavor of Kool-Aid around here, but that just proves, take what you need and leave the rest. I have some very close QUIT brothers that strongly believe that everyone is an addict and they know that I don't, however, we agree on 90% of the rest of QUIT and have a mutual respect.
I have a Bad Ass core group of Titans that I bs with almost every single day and will continue to do so for life. I came looking for support Quitting nicotine, ended up finding some people that support me in everything I do in my life, mainly because I was willing to open up and expose myself. If I caved, it would be truely painful because I'd have to move, change my telephone, email, facebook and other things I'm not even thinking about. That's on purpose. I wanted accountability, so I found a few others that wanted the same level of accountability and I exposed my life to them.
I still post roll, and will continue to for the forcible future. I'm not saying I'll post every day for the rest of my life, but I dipped somewhere around 6200 days. I'm not even going to consider not posting daily roll until I get to at least 10%, it works so why mess with it? I honestly prefer Kakao over being on here because on Kakao I don't even think about nicotine, but on here I obviously do, but I do still hope in Live Chat in the late night/early hours just in case someone needs help. I owe this site a great deal so I find ways to try and pay it forward and I'm always on standby for when one of my more active Bros like Candoit or FMBM see someone that maybe I can uniquely help and I'll rush to a computer to help. I don't really enjoy reading the early groups because I get annoyed, but I love reading the guys make the HOF and how excited they are to be 100 days QUIT. I get QUIT wood over that and it helps fuel my QUIT.
I haven't had a true crave in months. I've had very few of the fleeting thoughts of Cope even, because I don't do that shit anymore. That's the path I took to this QUIT. Whenever I had a crave, I'd yell out "I don't do that shit anymore." That was my mantra until I started actually believing it, and I do believe it now. As Stevo says, I burned my boat when I land for this fight. There was no way to return to that lifestyle. I made it that way on purpose.
The thing about my QUIT at almost the 250 mark is how freeing it is to be nic free. Honest Disclaimer, I use Smokey Mountain and my own blend of coffee and teas, mainly when I'm out fishing or working outside. I don't do it around other people and I don't have to have it. I'll go days without it if I don't have any or just don't want any. I'm okay with that and honestly am ok if I do it forever, but I'll probably look at stopping at the one year mark, but it really doesn't matter to me. I don't do it in public mainly because I don't want someone to see me and think that I'm using nicotine and that I approve of nicotine.
If anyone actually reads this looking for advice, here it is. Find a core group and open up your life with each other. Make it so the choice of taking a dip/smoke would be painful, not just on the internet, but in real life. About KTC and the variety of Quitters on here, take what works for you and don't get to razzled about the rest of it, most of all, don't let anything on a website hurt your QUIT. I almost let that happen around the 100 day mark, not that I was going to cave or avoid my group, but I was leaving this site. That would have been stupid. Stick it out, there are a lot of great people on here. Post roll and be a man of your word for 1 day. Eventually you can look to the future, but early one, ODAAT.
-
I haven't posted anything on my Intro in over a hundred days and just came back to read over it. Pretty cool to see where I was and were I am now.
I still don't buy into the everyone is an addict thing that seems to be a main flavor of Kool-Aid around here, but that just proves, take what you need and leave the rest. I have some very close QUIT brothers that strongly believe that everyone is an addict and they know that I don't, however, we agree on 90% of the rest of QUIT and have a mutual respect.
I have a Bad Ass core group of Titans that I bs with almost every single day and will continue to do so for life. I came looking for support Quitting nicotine, ended up finding some people that support me in everything I do in my life, mainly because I was willing to open up and expose myself. If I caved, it would be truely painful because I'd have to move, change my telephone, email, facebook and other things I'm not even thinking about. That's on purpose. I wanted accountability, so I found a few others that wanted the same level of accountability and I exposed my life to them.
I still post roll, and will continue to for the forcible future. I'm not saying I'll post every day for the rest of my life, but I dipped somewhere around 6200 days. I'm not even going to consider not posting daily roll until I get to at least 10%, it works so why mess with it? I honestly prefer Kakao over being on here because on Kakao I don't even think about nicotine, but on here I obviously do, but I do still hope in Live Chat in the late night/early hours just in case someone needs help. I owe this site a great deal so I find ways to try and pay it forward and I'm always on standby for when one of my more active Bros like Candoit or FMBM see someone that maybe I can uniquely help and I'll rush to a computer to help. I don't really enjoy reading the early groups because I get annoyed, but I love reading the guys make the HOF and how excited they are to be 100 days QUIT. I get QUIT wood over that and it helps fuel my QUIT.
I haven't had a true crave in months. I've had very few of the fleeting thoughts of Cope even, because I don't do that shit anymore. That's the path I took to this QUIT. Whenever I had a crave, I'd yell out "I don't do that shit anymore." That was my mantra until I started actually believing it, and I do believe it now. As Stevo says, I burned my boat when I land for this fight. There was no way to return to that lifestyle. I made it that way on purpose.
The thing about my QUIT at almost the 250 mark is how freeing it is to be nic free. Honest Disclaimer, I use Smokey Mountain and my own blend of coffee and teas, mainly when I'm out fishing or working outside. I don't do it around other people and I don't have to have it. I'll go days without it if I don't have any or just don't want any. I'm okay with that and honestly am ok if I do it forever, but I'll probably look at stopping at the one year mark, but it really doesn't matter to me. I don't do it in public mainly because I don't want someone to see me and think that I'm using nicotine and that I approve of nicotine.
If anyone actually reads this looking for advice, here it is. Find a core group and open up your life with each other. Make it so the choice of taking a dip/smoke would be painful, not just on the internet, but in real life. About KTC and the variety of Quitters on here, take what works for you and don't get to razzled about the rest of it, most of all, don't let anything on a website hurt your QUIT. I almost let that happen around the 100 day mark, not that I was going to cave or avoid my group, but I was leaving this site. That would have been stupid. Stick it out, there are a lot of great people on here. Post roll and be a man of your word for 1 day. Eventually you can look to the future, but early one, ODAAT.
Quit with you EDD Tom.