KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: raiderx on March 19, 2012, 09:09:00 AM
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Hi all
I was looking for some more information on quitting and I found this site. I have registered but i am not sure what to do. Just to fill everyone in, I have been tapering off over the last 3 weeks and I am official on day 2 with no tobacco. I have the herbal replacement products and so far so good. So if someone could give me a little direction on where to go on the site that would be great.
Thanks
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Hi all
I was looking for some more information on quitting and I found this site. I have registered but i am not sure what to do. Just to fill everyone in, I have been tapering off over the last 3 weeks and I am official on day 2 with no tobacco. I have the herbal replacement products and so far so good. So if someone could give me a little direction on where to go on the site that would be great.
Thanks
Congratulations on making a fine decision man.
Here at the KTC, we don't quit forever. We quit for today. We learn from the past, and don't worry about tomorrow. We do whatever it takes to keep nicotine out of our systems today. The program here is simple, but it is not easy:
Post roll.
Stay Quit.
Repeat.
Each morning, we post our promises to ourselves and our quit brothers in our quit groups. Your quit group is here. (http://z11.invisionfree.com/QS_Xtreme/index.php?showtopic=6044) We promise to ourselves that we won't use nicotine, and your promise also tells us to be angels on your shoulder during this quit. We will have your back.
Next, we keep our word and stay quit today. It's that simple. There's tons of information and support on this site, and a lot of us are very, very active. You are going to go through hell, but your group is going to consist of 50 other guys going through the same pains you are. It bonds you. Helping others makes your quit stronger.
Finally, wake up tomorrow and do what made you successful today.
Get some telephone numbers, and hold on man. You're in for a wild ride.
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RaiderX,
Good to have you here. If you need anything reach out to people on the site they will help you through the rough times, and they are going to be rough. But to come out on the other side is an amazing feeling. Hang in there and fight one day at a time. Just quit today, wake up tomorrow and do it again. It's amazing how powerful your brain really is. It can trick you into putting something into your mouth that could kill you. However, it can also stop you from putting something into your mouth and ignore the nic bitch altogether. When I first started I just kept telling myself the brain is an amazing thing, thinking that it had the power to ignore those terrible cravings.
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Welcome Raider-
You can do this!
First, post roll in your quit group every morning to reaffirm your quit.
Reach out and meet your quit group members. They will help you in your quit.
Ready everything you can on this site. It is full of extremely useful info, and many people have traveled this road before us, we can learn from them.
Quit hard brother. Contact me if you need anything.
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thxs guys
your support is welcome and much needed
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Great choice, Raider. Head to the Welcome Center. Here's the link, but it is the little redish link at the top.
index.php?showforum=13 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13)
Read about posting roll. Then, post roll for today, keep your promise, and repeat.
Oh...and enjoy your freedom!!!!
If you can't figure it out, just post that you need help. You'll only get about 500 responses from the folks on this site. You can do it, brother!
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Any advice on the insomnia part of the quit?
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Any advice on the insomnia part of the quit?
Sex...
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Any advice on the insomnia part of the quit?
Sex...
By yourself or with others, it does not matter.......
Limit your coffee too. Drink tea in the evenings to avoid over-caffineating.
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Im currently dealing with insomnia also, so im with you man. Let me know if you figure anything out tht helps. And Ive been drinking nothing but water...
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Insomnia is common. Usually lasts 3 weeks. http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp)
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Any advice on the insomnia part of the quit?
There's plenty of time to sleep when you are dead. Do something productive. It too shall pass.
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Limiting the amount of coffee will most likely help. Also I found an ambient noise app for my ipad which helped.
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Update
finally slept last night - 6 hours. most likely not all related to the quit. I have some shit going on at work and with our golf course that has my stress level at a 10.
A few things a did not mention in my first introduction post: As with also all of you this is not my first time trying to quit. I have actually been planning this for over a year. About this time last year a started mixing the real stuff with oregon mint chew. I was cutting back as planned ( actually got it down to 1 tin a month) when the shit hit the fan at home and work. From September to December I noticed my using was raising to 2 to 3 cans a month over that time and I has stopped mixing at times. Then in February came the scare. I had a front tooth that was killing me. I went to the dentist and he could fine nothing wrong. This freaked the hell out of me ( turns out it was a microfracture instead the tooth due to grinding). It was then that I decided to quit. So since February 25 until March 18 I have had 1 tin, cutting back a little more every day. March 18 was the first day in years that I have not had a dip.
So for all the new quitters, I will share my experience.
1) I found it easier to quit by tapering down to a hard quit date. I will say though that when I tapered back, I did mix with smokey mountain and hooch and my pinches were 1/10th of the size.
2) I tapered back will on vacation. This gave me 10 days to do this in a less stressful environment
3) I had my herbal snuff stockpiled and ready to go ( it is not easy to find out here so I had to order it from Edmonton, AB)
4) I am not sure if it is the some all over Canada ( I think it is) but tobacco products are not allowed to be visibly displayed in stores. Most places have white cases were they store tobacco products. This is making it much easier because the bitch is not staring you in the face when you get gas
5) I am exercising like a bastard
6) Once I am done this post I will be finishing my Reason For Quiting list and I will carry that around with me
7) KTC has helped somewhat, not really the roll call ( though I will do it ), but just knowing there are a ton of people out there going through this with gives the old will power a boost
Stay Strong
RaiderX
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The insomnia will pass. I thought quitting granted be superhuman abilities for a few weeks. I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night, sometimes 5. I'd wake up raring to go though. I was hitting the gym hard most nights too and still couldn't sleep long.
Limiting your caffine will definitely help though.
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I struggled with the insomnia during my first 30 days or so. It sucked. No matter when I went to sleep or how tired I was I woke up at around 2:00 wide awake. I posted here and read every word looking for some solution. Like others said below, it is common. Shortly after that first month I started sleeping just fine. In fact, better, because I wasn't staying up late to sneak a couple of dips.
I'm at Day 237 now and those insomnia filled nights feel like a thing very far in the past. It gets so much better. Stay the course.
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I have been dealing with insomnia for most of my life and the only thing that has helped me is eating something small before going to bed and watching a movie that i have seen like a million times that way there is some food in my belly and when i close my eyes i can hear the movie but since i know the movie so well its like i am watching it.
Not sure how much this will help but thats all I got.....
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Grizz is spot on with eating something prior to hitting the hay.. I found that exercising in the evening is a great closure to the day.. Not sure if you exercise, if you have children etc, but if you're fairly active an evening run would be perfect since it is starting to get warmer.. Eat a little snack, throw on some 'boob' and away ya go..!!
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I exercise quite regularly but thanks for the input.
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Keep fighting. You will get through this.
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I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3. We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
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I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3. We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
keep up the good work and it gets easier as time goes by!!!!
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I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.Â
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3. We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.Â
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
keep up the good work and it gets easier as time goes by!!!!
Nice work raider!!!
I post updates to myself just as reminders of what I have gone thru and as a good pick-me-up!
Stay focused on what your doing the longer you go the better you will feel.
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I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3. We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
Raiderx-
Keep reading! One of the best things about this site is we all get to learn from those that came before us. It has helped me tremendously to know what is likely to occur. At day 46 I'm past most of the real annoying stuff. It does get better and keeps getting better. Post roll, stay close to the site.
-
I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.Â
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3. We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.Â
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
Raiderx-
Keep reading! One of the best things about this site is we all get to learn from those that came before us. It has helped me tremendously to know what is likely to occur. At day 46 I'm past most of the real annoying stuff. It does get better and keeps getting better. Post roll, stay close to the site.
I'm speechless except to say. Thank you for the post! Good stuff.
-
I am new. 9 days no tobacco. This the longest since I was 21 and I am 42 now.
Over the last 9 dais I have experienced all the things mentioned on this website and I expect I will experience them many more times plus other things. I have had insomina; exhaustion; nic rage; headaches so bad that I thought my head would explode; and the rest.Â
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of posts both in June and elsewhere and I being new I did not feel it was my place to put post my thoughts but then I read mthomas posts and it has inspired me so I would like to impart my wisdom not on quitting but on a few things in general.
1. Quitting nicotine is hard. It will be one of (if not the ) hardest things we will ever do.
2. Quitting is personal. The choice is yours alone to make. What is said on this site about having to quit for you is so very true. You have to do this for you and you alone.
3.  We are addicts. I have read this 1000 times. But guess what. Almost ever person in the developed world is a addict to something. We just dress it up different. If you worked out 3 hrs a day 7 days a week and looked like The Rock then people would call you devoted but that is also an addiction. Our addiction is a bad one - nicotine. You HAVE to admit it.Â
4. You are not alone. I live in a place where not alot of people that I associate with dip. I got started while working at a natural gas refinery over the summers. I am college educated and I have collegues in the highest reaches of government and business. In short I am smart person with alot going for me. But I am also I complete fucking idiot because for 20 years I have been killing myself. How fucking stupid is that. I have had beautiful women in my life who would have bore my children but they left because I would not quit. Now I am 42 and my wife and I are unsure if we can have children. Does a smart person do that. FUCK NO. But you see I thought I was alone. I was not sure how to quit. I was ashamed of my addiction until I found this site. Now I am trying to embrace my addiction , put it in a headlock and fuck it up. That is what I am going to do with my addiction. But I need help. I need a place that will hold me accountable. I need a place to go over morning and make that promise. I need to know I am not alone. Just knowing that helps more than anyone ( who is not on this site) can imagine.
To the ones who feel you can do this alone:
You might be able to quit alone
That is your choice. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong. It is your choice.
We are here if you need us but remember trust is earned. Here it is earned one day at a time.
To the vets who hold us accountable:
Be patient
Try and be kind
Remember everyone's quit is different and personal
You are giving us your experiences and arming us with the tools and that is all you can do and it is enough.
Finally to the members of the quit group
Lets hold ourselves accountable. I know that the only person on this site that I hurt if I cave is really and truly myself. And I am NOT OK with that. I need the people in my quit group to keep doing what they are doing and just be there.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Raiderx
Raiderx-
Keep reading! One of the best things about this site is we all get to learn from those that came before us. It has helped me tremendously to know what is likely to occur. At day 46 I'm past most of the real annoying stuff. It does get better and keeps getting better. Post roll, stay close to the site.
I'm speechless except to say. Thank you for the post! Good stuff.
Arjun - Im Quit for 4 days that is its been a little more than 96 hrs since my last dip and im loving it.. I want it this way for sure everyday !
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I'm speechless except to say. Thank you for the post! Good stuff.
Arjun - Im Quit for 4 days that is its been a little more than 96 hrs since my last dip and im loving it.. I want it this way for sure everyday !
Good stuff indeed.
Here are my questions for YOU, and I hate to do it here but there seems to be no other place to do it.
1. Where is your introduction post?
2. Where are your roll posts?
You've been here since January and have 4 posts. As far as I can tell you quit exactly one day a month. A couple of weeks ago I sent you a PM offering support and advice... not a word.
If you're you may as well utilize ALL of the tools available to help you with your quit. That means to get active and post roll. Make a promise.
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As for raiderx, excellent work so far, keep it up and stay quit!
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I'm speechless except to say. Thank you for the post! Good stuff.
Arjun - Im Quit for 4 days that is its been a little more than 96 hrs since my last dip and im loving it.. I want it this way for sure everyday !
Good stuff indeed.
Here are my questions for YOU, and I hate to do it here but there seems to be no other place to do it.
1. Where is your introduction post?
2. Where are your roll posts?
You've been here since January and have 4 posts. As far as I can tell you quit exactly one day a month. A couple of weeks ago I sent you a PM offering support and advice... not a word.
If you're you may as well utilize ALL of the tools available to help you with your quit. That means to get active and post roll. Make a promise.
----------
As for raiderx, excellent work so far, keep it up and stay quit!
Some damn solid advice there. You can find a whole bunch of things on here. The one thing you won't find is a reason to consume nicotine.
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'bang head' OK Day 11, people at work do not fucking listen, dealing with fucktards all day. Why do people fucking make a decision with out knowing the fucking question. ( Yes that is the level of stupidity I am dealing with today. Question by me: What is it that management wishes to track? We should know that before making a decision? Answer by dumbass 10 minutes later: You have a great point. We are going with prospal A which may not meet our needs at all). Really, are you fucking kidding me.
Next, person we asked to help us out at the golf course until we can get a new manager says Sure I can do it, no problem but I will be gone for all of April. Really, you mean the month we need you, you are gone. Fuck plan B on to Plan fucking C.
I want a dip so bad I can taste it. BUT I WILL NOT FUCKING GIVE IN. NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!! 'Finger'
Close the office door - thank the lord for doors to offices
Breath deep.... yes..... good
Smack head on desk ..... ouch that hurts
Type.......ramble.....make no sense.....type some more
Breath more
It will be ok
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got some great advice today. Thanks guys
Day 16
Last week has been very unproductive. Irritabile, angry, short tempered, you name it I was it. Basically a fucking asshole. I need to find a way to deal with the stress. Exercise has helped. Now have to make the time to work out more. When I find the time, something comes up that needs my attention ( work, home, volunteer position drama). Now workout time gone. that has been the week. Stress mounts - no outlet so what do I do- take it out on the wife.WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG...............................................WRONG. She has been nothing but supportive and I have been an ass. But what is interesting is that the feelings are not new. There have been things in our lives for the last 3 years that have been extremely stressful and part of the coping mechanism was dip. I see that now. Brother in law does something retarded - trigger- take a dip. Wife not feeling well again for the 625 day in a row- trigger- take a dip. Drama with the car (call me on the road because I can fix it) - trigger- take a dip. Mapping out home finances and wife does not want to face reality and ignores me - trigger - take a dip. What I need to find is something to replace dip after trigger. I would say go for a walk but yesterday 6" of snow fell in like 3 hrs. ( PS part of all of this could be cabin fever- winter really sucks up here). So I am still working on that part.
Peace out
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Day 18 Ultrasound on my wife showed a cyst on her liver. This is the second time in 4 years we are going through this. No big deal just got to stay positive. Over the months I will post updates.
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Day 18 Ultrasound on my wife showed a cyst on her liver. This is the second time in 4 years we are going through this. No big deal just got to stay positive. Over the months I will post updates.
Sorry to hear that brother, just stay positive and maybe this can help you I heard it a few days ago....
"Everything ends well, so if things didnt end well for you it means they are not at the end."
Stay strong focused and QUIT!!!
18 days is great but dont lose your focus!
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Thanks Grizz and everyone
You do not have to worry about me not quitting. This only strengthens my resolve. As I was reading some of the causes guess what was number 2 on the hit parade.... (PS my wife is a non user).
Because we have gone through this before we are a little freaked but like I told my wife it is most likely nothing. We will go through the tests and if they have to operate again, then they do. We will deal with that when we get there.
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My prayers will include you and your wife. I understand what you mean about it only making your resolve stronger, my wife was diagnosed with ms this last year I look to her for strength daily, all we have to do is look around and we realize how blessed we are. Then I think how I abused my good fortune by puttn that crap in my mouth. I'm a good listener if ya want to exchange # or PM me.
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Day 18 Ultrasound on my wife showed a cyst on her liver. This is the second time in 4 years we are going through this. No big deal just got to stay positive. Over the months I will post updates.
Hang in Raider. Stay as positive as you can, and protect your quit at all times. You will get through this. My best to both you and your wife.
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Day 23
Red Sox 0-3 Pitching sucks what else is new. Settling in for a long season. This past week as usual stressful but I have worked throught the rage period and now settling into a mellow/despression period. I do find that my filtering mechanism is a little off. Never really knew how much the dip effected my emotional and mental filtering. It will take a while to redevelope those tools. All a work in process and All normal as per the reading. Nothing shocking . If any newbies are following my rants the best advise is read as much as possible on this site. The info is priceless. Remarkably I am not having any hard core cravings or I am an just not really seeing it. And when I ultimate do have the cravings from hell I have my plan set... look at cancer pictures....look at how money I am savings.... Look at my wife ( not necessarily in that order).
Peace Out RSox nation
Raiderx
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Day 31
Hi my name is raider x and I am an addict.
This past week was a good quit week, no really cravings or angry outburst or anything. Just kind of numb. Wife has her issues, mother in law is being a bitch, golf course is eating up a shit load of time and work is basically there. Given all the crap and shit that I have gone through I am proud to say that I did not use nor did a really even think of using.
Spring is finally trying to come through which is a good thing for the old spirit. Golf season is almost upon us. I may be transfered out of this job soon. Interviewing a replacement next week. And hopefully my mother in law will smarten up and stop being such a fucking c- word all the time. Well at least spring is here.
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Day 31 is greatness! If your mother in law figures that how to change, send me her number. I need to give it to my mother in law.
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I meant to put my day 31 post here but I hit the wrong button. My bad.
Anyway Day 31
I am addict
Mother in law a bitch
Things going ok last week.
Just got off the phone with my wife. Coming back from the dr. drama as per usual. Prescription was not called in. Now have to go back. ( it is an hour both ways to this doctor). Askes what we are doing this weekend. I say that I may have to do some stuff for the golf course. Silence ............. I said that dinner would work great on Friday or Sat. I will work around it. Silence.............. . I ask what is wrong and she says that her she is number 3 again.................. are you fucking kidding me. I am killing myself over these medical issues, I have drama at work, drama at home because of her family, drama at my VOLUNTEER board position ( putting more hours in than I really want to), dealing with all the fucking turmoil that comes with quiting and now I have to deal with her fucking fragile ego bullshit. Everything I do I put her first. I can not say a whole bunch of what I am going through at work because she does not like it. Tell my family the whole story.. no fucking way.... What fucking outlet do I have. All I do is worry about her and deal with her fucking issues. All I do is put her first. That is not fair. But can I bring it up ............... no fucking way because that will cause more drama. WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE FOR ONE FUCKING WEEK WITH OUT FUCKING DRAMA. Is that too much to ask. I am dealing with all of this shit and dealing with the fucking cravings and quit. Looks like my support got fucking tossed out the window. FUCK... I know somewhere it is mentioned that part of the quit process is to think about someone besides yourself but is there not a limit... For 4 years all I have been dealing with are HER issues.... family, health,ego you fucking name it. Therapy--- been there,done that. You name it I have tried it. So here I am this year and I quit chew. Here I think this is a good time. Drama at a minimum... What was I thinking.... brother in law decides to get married ... in fucking jamacia this december.........cost to us $6000. I would tell him to fuck off but no we have to go because wifes cousin who is a royal fucking twat is going and every family gathering for the next 1000 yrs would start with "Why did you not go to ... wedding". Then fucking wife health issue. And on And on And on
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I meant to put my day 31 post here but I hit the wrong button. My bad.
Anyway Day 31
I am addict
Mother in law a bitch
Things going ok last week.
Just got off the phone with my wife. Coming back from the dr. drama as per usual. Prescription was not called in. Now have to go back. ( it is an hour both ways to this doctor). Askes what we are doing this weekend. I say that I may have to do some stuff for the golf course. Silence ............. I said that dinner would work great on Friday or Sat. I will work around it. Silence.............. . I ask what is wrong and she says that her she is number 3 again.................. are you fucking kidding me. I am killing myself over these medical issues, I have drama at work, drama at home because of her family, drama at my VOLUNTEER board position ( putting more hours in than I really want to), dealing with all the fucking turmoil that comes with quiting and now I have to deal with her fucking fragile ego bullshit. Everything I do I put her first. I can not say a whole bunch of what I am going through at work because she does not like it. Tell my family the whole story.. no fucking way.... What fucking outlet do I have. All I do is worry about her and deal with her fucking issues. All I do is put her first. That is not fair. But can I bring it up ............... no fucking way because that will cause more drama. WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE FOR ONE FUCKING WEEK WITH OUT FUCKING DRAMA. Is that too much to ask. I am dealing with all of this shit and dealing with the fucking cravings and quit. Looks like my support got fucking tossed out the window. FUCK... I know somewhere it is mentioned that part of the quit process is to think about someone besides yourself but is there not a limit... For 4 years all I have been dealing with are HER issues.... family, health,ego you fucking name it. Therapy--- been there,done that. You name it I have tried it. So here I am this year and I quit chew. Here I think this is a good time. Drama at a minimum... What was I thinking.... brother in law decides to get married ... in fucking jamacia this december.........cost to us $6000. I would tell him to fuck off but no we have to go because wifes cousin who is a royal fucking twat is going and every family gathering for the next 1000 yrs would start with "Why did you not go to ... wedding". Then fucking wife health issue. And on And on And on
Hang in there brother! I don't have the stress, but I am having some super cravings today. Haven't caved because I am not going to, but I was close. Life is a funny thing sometimes.
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I meant to put my day 31 post here but I hit the wrong button. My bad.
Anyway Day 31
I am addict
Mother in law a bitch
Things going ok last week.
Just got off the phone with my wife. Coming back from the dr. drama as per usual. Prescription was not called in. Now have to go back. ( it is an hour both ways to this doctor). Askes what we are doing this weekend. I say that I may have to do some stuff for the golf course. Silence ............. I said that dinner would work great on Friday or Sat. I will work around it. Silence.............. . I ask what is wrong and she says that her she is number 3 again.................. are you fucking kidding me. I am killing myself over these medical issues, I have drama at work, drama at home because of her family, drama at my VOLUNTEER board position ( putting more hours in than I really want to), dealing with all the fucking turmoil that comes with quiting and now I have to deal with her fucking fragile ego bullshit. Everything I do I put her first. I can not say a whole bunch of what I am going through at work because she does not like it. Tell my family the whole story.. no fucking way.... What fucking outlet do I have. All I do is worry about her and deal with her fucking issues. All I do is put her first. That is not fair. But can I bring it up ............... no fucking way because that will cause more drama. WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE FOR ONE FUCKING WEEK WITH OUT FUCKING DRAMA. Is that too much to ask. I am dealing with all of this shit and dealing with the fucking cravings and quit. Looks like my support got fucking tossed out the window. FUCK... I know somewhere it is mentioned that part of the quit process is to think about someone besides yourself but is there not a limit... For 4 years all I have been dealing with are HER issues.... family, health,ego you fucking name it. Therapy--- been there,done that. You name it I have tried it. So here I am this year and I quit chew. Here I think this is a good time. Drama at a minimum... What was I thinking.... brother in law decides to get married ... in fucking jamacia this december.........cost to us $6000. I would tell him to fuck off but no we have to go because wifes cousin who is a royal fucking twat is going and every family gathering for the next 1000 yrs would start with "Why did you not go to ... wedding". Then fucking wife health issue. And on And on And on
Dude.....
I can so totally relate and I can say this your not alone here.....
I will tell you this make this quit for you and the support from here will always be here we will not get all bitchy and fucked up!
This is the place for that kind of rant and rage!
She didnt make you start and she shouldnt be responsible for your quit.
You got this bro!
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So 43 days
Things have been going really good. The thing that really keeps me going outside of my wife and health is the posting. I will be the first to say that I am surprised but posting to a bunch of nameless faceless cyberspacoids whould really mean that much but it does.
Also, everything the "what to expect" page said, I went through. I helps to know hey this shit I am going through is normal.
So I just want to say thanks to whoever started this site.
Peace out
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So 43 days
Things have been going really good. The thing that really keeps me going outside of my wife and health is the posting. I will be the first to say that I am surprised but posting to a bunch of nameless faceless cyberspacoids whould really mean that much but it does.
Also, everything the "what to expect" page said, I went through. I helps to know hey this shit I am going through is normal.
So I just want to say thanks to whoever started this site.
Peace out
Great job
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So 43 days
Things have been going really good. The thing that really keeps me going outside of my wife and health is the posting. I will be the first to say that I am surprised but posting to a bunch of nameless faceless cyberspacoids whould really mean that much but it does.
Also, everything the "what to expect" page said, I went through. I helps to know hey this shit I am going through is normal.
So I just want to say thanks to whoever started this site.
Peace out
Nice post and well done on your quit. you hit on a few things:
1) same thought here, that I'm shocked that posting my promise to a bunch of strangers holds so much clout in my every day. You'll find that as time goes on, those strangers become less stranger and more friend. Ive found friendship here that I'm sure will outlast many other friendships I have here "locally".
2) knowing what to expect was 100% key to me, and as you say, it all came true. In addition I turned into a sniveling emotional bitch. That wasn't mentioned anywhere, maybe it should.
3) I read your last post, the drama post. That's awesome man, I can relate and I think every single married man can relate. Women are just plain nuts. Then you throw in new quit and it's game on. Somewhere inthe midst of all that is beauty though. Don't forget that. What if all the pieces of a puzzle were exactly the same? Then not a single one would fit, and you'd never make the picture complete. We have to be exactly opposite, but similar, just like a puzzle. We can make that picture, but it's HARD work. And it might land us in Jamaica. Sucker! And there's nothing you can do bout it except decide to quit again.
Congrats on your Day 43, that's HUGE.
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Day 45 is alot like day 44 which was like day 43.
days are starting to blend together which in a weird way is a good thing. It my fucked up mind it means I am winning.
i still have to be vigilante. But I have to be honest with all of you. I am getting sick of quitting. I am moving into a new stage. I did a few posts today. First time in a while but you know it just did not really get me going. Every intro I read sounds the same, all the posts sound the same, every thing sounds the same (i am quit, fuck the nic bitch blah, blah, blah) I am not going to cave or anything. Still super strong there. Just really want to be quit and not quitting. I know this is normal so I am not sweating this. Just kind of throwing it out there.
That is why I asked the 100 day question. Why 100 days? Is there research around this? Is this kind of the average that modern science has found to be the magic number where chance of relapse is at its lowest point. I know it is different for everyone but I am curious Why 100 days?
Anyways, No worries here, just pouring out this crap for myself and the masses.
Keep it real suckas
Red Sox rule
Peace out
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"Bless me father for I have sinned
It has been 2 days since my last confession"
"What is it my son"
"Father, yesterday I was in the change room at work and some guy had left his dip on the bench. Well Father I looked at it Skoal Long Cut Cherry and thought just one would be ok"
" What are you fucking stupid, you know you are an addict and quitting why would you do that"
"Holy Shit Padre calm down, I did not due it. Craving hit, I dealt with it and then it was gone. I was going to say this was the first really intense craving I have had in a while and it scared me. What kind of priest are you"
"Sorry, just raging today my son, good for you. Is that it"
"Well I am still hooked on bowel cleansing and chocolate bunnies but other than that yep that is it"
" You are one sick bastard, there is no saving you, get out of the booth"
Priests are so touchy.
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Day 51
One would think a person would be thrilled but not really. I would have to say I am getting into one of those funks. Just feeling kind of blue. Not getting a whole lot of support right now on the home front. That might be part of it. BDay coming up, that maybe part of it. Think I might give my therapist a call.
Day 50
Driving home from a volunteer thing ( 3 hour drive) I had huge cravings. First time in a while. Put away a whole bag of seeds. Nothing to this thing.
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Day 51
One would think a person would be thrilled but not really. I would have to say I am getting into one of those funks. Just feeling kind of blue. Not getting a whole lot of support right now on the home front. That might be part of it. BDay coming up, that maybe part of it. Think I might give my therapist a call.
Day 50
Driving home from a volunteer thing ( 3 hour drive) I had huge cravings. First time in a while. Put away a whole bag of seeds. Nothing to this thing.
RaiderX,
Reach out man. PM me and I will help any way I can, Send me your number and we can trade texts.
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Day 51
One would think a person would be thrilled but not really. I would have to say I am getting into one of those funks. Just feeling kind of blue. Not getting a whole lot of support right now on the home front. That might be part of it. BDay coming up, that maybe part of it. Think I might give my therapist a call.
Im at day 43. Been reading your posts and I am going through the same. Dont have a therapist, but may need one. Its got to get better, least thats what everyone says. Ill stick it out and quit with you. PM me if you want to swap #'s
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Day 51
One would think a person would be thrilled but not really. I would have to say I am getting into one of those funks. Just feeling kind of blue. Not getting a whole lot of support right now on the home front. That might be part of it. BDay coming up, that maybe part of it. Think I might give my therapist a call.Â
Day 50
Driving home from a volunteer thing ( 3 hour drive) I had huge cravings. First time in a while. Put away a whole bag of seeds. Nothing to this thing.
RaiderX,
Reach out man. PM me and I will help any way I can, Send me your number and we can trade texts.
You are not alone, and you can fucking do this.
I'm proud of you man.
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Day 51
One would think a person would be thrilled but not really. I would have to say I am getting into one of those funks. Just feeling kind of blue.
I like reading your posts because I am a week behind you. So far you have been spot on describing what is in store for me.
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Keep pushing, that light gets real big real soon.
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Thanks guys appreciate the support. that is the great thing about this site. we are all going through pretty much the same thing.
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Actually we are going through exactly the same thing.
PS I am nowhere close to caving. Not really tempted in anyway. What I am really craving is black forest chocolate cake with double fudget chocolate ice cream and a diet pepsi.
maybe i am pregnant
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Actually we are going through exactly the same thing.
PS I am nowhere close to caving. Not really tempted in anyway. What I am really craving is black forest chocolate cake with double fudget chocolate ice cream and a diet pepsi.
maybe i am pregnant
lol no doubt. About day 20 I went to the market and bought a strawberry cake with whipped cream. (a full sized cake). I also bought a 2 litre of Coke (I haven't drank Coke in years)
Entire cake gone in 24 hours along with the coke.
Pregnancy test negative.
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm cake
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Had a bit of rage yesterday. Stress just built up over the week. Outlets no working right this minute. I need to decompress. Vacation might be the ticket.
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day 58
things been good the last little bit. today got to work and found out that a forest fire started a few miles from the mill. now it is headed towards the wife's family farm. (farm rented out, renters have been evacuated). now on stand by to go to the homestead to rescue a bunch of useless crap.
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day 71
it has been awhile. things have been busy. it is 6:42 Sunday May 27 and I am downstairs trying not to wake the house up. I just Mthomas last post on his blog and I must say I know exactly what he and the rest are going through. All I can say to my brothers is hang in, stay strong and keep up the good fight.
Right now I am in a funk. 10 weeks in, 10 weeks clean from nicotine. Things are good in that way but boy do I miss dip every so often. Just the other day a craving hit me. It was so intense I could taste it. Then it was gone. That is what I am finding now..the cravings are very intense but very short in duration.
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day 86
things are going. drama continues. difference- no dip. i still crave the dip. the difference now is that they go away alot quicker and I have tools in place to deal with the cravings.
You know I have read (and written) a lot of things on this website and I have reached ( once again came to) a 2 conclusions over the past few days:
1. This site is a fantastic form of support and I commend those who created and moderate the site. The base philosphy for how to quit is very solid and it works and I really mean that. So thank you.
2. This site is only as good as you the quiter wants it to be. i have read a tonne of introductions lately and I believe that a lot of new users are looking for a magic elixar to make it all go away. I have news for you people, the world of instant everything does not exist. There is no fucking pill you can take to make you quit. No patch, prayer, gum, shot, nothing like that. It takes work and determination and will power. If you are one of those who think this site is a quick fix, leave now and stop wasting everyones valuable time.
So to you the new quiter who may stumble upon these rants of a fucking idiot addict let me sum up what I consider to be the essence of this site and the billions of words transcribed on it:
1. Post roll - give your word not to use nictone today and today ONLY. Fuck 100 days, HOF, and all the rest of that crap. QUIT FOR TODAY. Do whatever you need to do to QUIT FOR TODAY.
2. REPEAT TOMORROW.
RaiderX Out
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Day 87
Nothing to report
Cravings are especially strong in the morning with my coffee. That was the thing. Throw in a fatty and have my coffee.
But not anymore.
raiderx out
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day 94
100 days right around the corner.
I was scrolling through my group last night and I saw a post for Klinger1986 in our HOF section for 100 days. I found that odd since I have not seen this person post roll at all since april 1. In fact on our spreadsheet we have stopped marking this person as having not posted roll. So I wonder what gives this person the right to post 100 days with our group when they abandoned us. I know this really does not matter in the grand scheme of the universe and I maybe redirecting some frustration but I do not feel this is right. The HOF section is for those who have posted roll consistently and been a part of the group and the site. You do not get to come in and say - I made 100 days - No. I am offended. I would like to know what others have to say...
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day 94
100 days right around the corner.
I was scrolling through my group last night and I saw a post for Klinger1986 in our HOF section for 100 days. I found that odd since I have not seen this person post roll at all since april 1. In fact on our spreadsheet we have stopped marking this person as having not posted roll. So I wonder what gives this person the right to post 100 days with our group when they abandoned us. I know this really does not matter in the grand scheme of the universe and I maybe redirecting some frustration but I do not feel this is right. The HOF section is for those who have posted roll consistently and been a part of the group and the site. You do not get to come in and say - I made 100 days - No. I am offended. I would like to know what others have to say...
I didn't notice this. I agree with you 100%
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day 94Â
100 days right around the corner.Â
I was scrolling through my group last night and I saw a post for Klinger1986 in our HOF section for 100 days. I found that odd since I have not seen this person post roll at all since april 1. In fact on our spreadsheet we have stopped marking this person as having not posted roll. So I wonder what gives this person the right to post 100 days with our group when they abandoned us. I know this really does not matter in the grand scheme of the universe and I maybe redirecting some frustration but I do not feel this is right. The HOF section is for those who have posted roll consistently and been a part of the group and the site. You do not get to come in and say - I made 100 days - No. I am offended. I would like to know what others have to say...
I didn't notice this. I agree with you 100%
Sounds like a good and valid point.
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Raider - Just read through a lot of your posts. You are a bad ass quitter. We haven't had a ton of interaction through this first 100 +/- days but I love your posts. No bullshitting, no acting, just the flat out truth. It is hard to quit, there are no magical methods just tough ass work and a big time fight. I am 117 and I think about chew every day - more now than some days earlier on - guess that is common post 100. But, I think about it every day - the fight is on - the fight will stay on - and I'm glad to have a bad ass quitter like you posting about your fight. It has strengthened my quit today - I am not alone - this is not easy - and every day I must battle with you all.
Thanks for posting - great to quit with you today!!!
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day 94
100 days right around the corner.
I was scrolling through my group last night and I saw a post for Klinger1986 in our HOF section for 100 days. I found that odd since I have not seen this person post roll at all since april 1. In fact on our spreadsheet we have stopped marking this person as having not posted roll. So I wonder what gives this person the right to post 100 days with our group when they abandoned us. I know this really does not matter in the grand scheme of the universe and I maybe redirecting some frustration but I do not feel this is right. The HOF section is for those who have posted roll consistently and been a part of the group and the site. You do not get to come in and say - I made 100 days - No. I am offended. I would like to know what others have to say...
June has another one. dougsoffroadcycle just got his HOF in June with 101 days quit ....9 posts.
/golfclap 'Finger'
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I am with you carumba but I also feel that the June platoon needs you. The guys make great points. Lets not let our quits be derailed by douches who come in at the last minute. Be proud of your accomplishment and future accomplishments. I will quit with you today and from now on.
stay strong bro
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100. This is just the beginning. Cravings still persist. The battle continues. I can only quit for today. Thanks to al of tose who have let e cry on there shoudee. I could have done it alne but it would have been hard.
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Day 126. Yesterday was a close call.. So newbies listen up. I got into it with the wife last night. Specifics not important but let's say she can be one over the top bitch when she wants to be. So instead of staying and risk saying something stupid I left and hit golf balls. That did not work so I start to drive around and I wind up at the corner store. I walk in and wander around aimlessly for a while. Then I hear the whispers. One is ok. Come back. You are stressed I can help. What did I do....text..no not that.... What did I do.... I visualized. 125 days pissed away.... I gave my word that morning, I would have to come back and face the rath if ktc... Cancer pics....
Then I picked up a can of Pringles and walked out the door.
That bitch is still out there. Keep your head on a swivel
I quit today with all of ktc
Fuck the bitch
Out
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Day 126. Yesterday was a close call.. So newbies listen up. I got into it with the wife last night. Specifics not important but let's say she can be one over the top bitch when she wants to be. So instead of staying and risk saying something stupid I left and hit golf balls. That did not work so I start to drive around and I wind up at the corner store. I walk in and wander around aimlessly for a while. Then I hear the whispers. One is ok. Come back. You are stressed I can help. What did I do....text..no not that.... What did I do.... I visualized. 125 days pissed away.... I gave my word that morning, I would have to come back and face the rath if ktc... Cancer pics....
Then I picked up a can of Pringles and walked out the door.
That bitch is still out there. Keep your head on a swivel
I quit today with all of ktc
Fuck the bitch
Out
Raider good for you. I love it when we have victories.
I have so much respect for you and your quit. I checked my phone, nope I didn't miss a text from you. You go through that again, I trust you will call or text me.
You have had my back, why won't you let me have your back?
We are a band of brothers. All for one and one for all. It strengthens my quit to be a wingman. Bring me into a battle. Together, we got the nic bitches number every single time she comes calling.
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Day 126. Yesterday was a close call.. So newbies listen up. I got into it with the wife last night. Specifics not important but let's say she can be one over the top bitch when she wants to be. So instead of staying and risk saying something stupid I left and hit golf balls. That did not work so I start to drive around and I wind up at the corner store. I walk in and wander around aimlessly for a while. Then I hear the whispers. One is ok. Come back. You are stressed I can help. What did I do....text..no not that.... What did I do.... I visualized. 125 days pissed away.... I gave my word that morning, I would have to come back and face the rath if ktc... Cancer pics....
Then I picked up a can of Pringles and walked out the door.Â
That bitch is still out there. Keep your head on a swivel
I quit today with all of ktc
Fuck the bitch
Out
Raider good for you. I love it when we have victories.
I have so much respect for you and your quit. I checked my phone, nope I didn't miss a text from you. You go through that again, I trust you will call or text me.
You have had my back, why won't you let me have your back?
We are a band of brothers. All for one and one for all. It strengthens my quit to be a wingman. Bring me into a battle. Together, we got the nic bitches number every single time she comes calling.
Mt
You are right. I should have texted. This is a lesson to you newbies. Use your support network
Text or call if the need is great
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Day 126. Yesterday was a close call.. So newbies listen up. I got into it with the wife last night. Specifics not important but let's say she can be one over the top bitch when she wants to be. So instead of staying and risk saying something stupid I left and hit golf balls. That did not work so I start to drive around and I wind up at the corner store. I walk in and wander around aimlessly for a while. Then I hear the whispers. One is ok. Come back. You are stressed I can help. What did I do....text..no not that.... What did I do.... I visualized. 125 days pissed away.... I gave my word that morning, I would have to come back and face the rath if ktc... Cancer pics....
Then I picked up a can of Pringles and walked out the door.Â
That bitch is still out there. Keep your head on a swivel
I quit today with all of ktc
Fuck the bitch
Out
Then I picked up a can of Pringles and walked out the door.Â
I hope you paid for the the Pringles? A shop lifting charge would suck along with being pissed off at the wife! The other day I was pissed off at the girlfriend! I said the following with authority "don't you know I haven't dipped now for 38 days!". She said don't you know I haven't dipped in 36 years.. I guess she had a point? Still pissed me off though!
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Therapy is an amazing thing.
Anxiety is a real killer. Just kind of sneaks up on a guy. One day you are the rock of the family, the next you are crying in room downstairs for what you think is no reason.
yep, need to have someone to talk to about what is going on in your life. Some one impartial and who will not judge.
Working wonders Bro's - highly recommend it
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Therapy is an amazing thing.
Anxiety is a real killer. Just kind of sneaks up on a guy. One day you are the rock of the family, the next you are crying in room downstairs for what you think is no reason.
yep, need to have someone to talk to about what is going on in your life. Some one impartial and who will not judge.
Working wonders Bro's - highly recommend it
Raider I agree 100% it's so easy to stand back and be the big strong in-control guy that can handle anything that comes along! Bull Shit!! Sometimes manning-up and dealing with shit like a true man means asking for help!! Sometimes there is also a place for medication to help! Thinking that asking for help is a sign of weakness is total bull shit!!
Thank You it's not easy to talk about this!
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 Therapy is an amazing thing.Â
Anxiety is a real killer. Just kind of sneaks up on a guy. One day you are the rock of the family, the next you are crying in room downstairs for what you think is no reason.Â
yep, need to have someone to talk to about what is going on in your life. Some one impartial and who will not judge.
Working wonders Bro's - highly recommend it
Raider I agree 100% it's so easy to stand back and be the big strong in-control guy that can handle anything that comes along! Bull Shit!! Sometimes manning-up and dealing with shit like a true man means asking for help!! Sometimes there is also a place for medication to help! Thinking that asking for help is a sign of weakness is total bull shit!!
Thank You it's not easy to talk about this!
No Shit! Counseling is awesome! I have gone most of my adult life. The key for me has been a good counselor.. How do I tell? Well if i am getting better I guess? Or feeling better or whatever. Sometimes actually often times they ask me to do shit I really do not want to do.. Looking at issues, maybe writing about issues.. whatever.. If they are making me uncomfy at first.. more than likely they are doing their job.. Anything worth while is usually hard at first! Was quitting dip uncomfy at first? You kidding 44 days in still uncomfortable as hell sometimes.. Hang in there man.. Go to counseling/therapy as much as you can! Gooch
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Day 143
Back in the fog a little bit.
Cravings particularly strong over the last little bit. Especially strong when driving long distances.
No threat to cave, just updating the journal.
Other than that just cruising and keeping vigilante.
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It has been awhile since I have been on this site and posted anything. My original intro is somewhere around here but I thought I would just write a new one.
I stopped posting roll some time ago and I just wanted everyone to know that I am now just into the 400's and in addition I have recently found out that I am going to be a father for the first time at 44. So I just wanted to thank this site and all who were there to help me begin my journey to quitsville. So I thank you all, my wife thanks you all and then addition currently under construction ( due date Dec 31) thanks you