KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: HateTheGrizzly on June 11, 2014, 07:44:00 PM
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Disclaimer: This may be long.
24 y/o Male.
I've "only" been dipping on a daily basis for two years. However, what started as a thing once in a while quickly became two tins a day. For the last few months it's been three tins a day. Until this Sunday....
My roommate introduced me to dip in college. He used Grizzly mint. Couldn't stand the flavor. The green tin of WG enticed me. Out of what I approximate to be around 1500 tins of dip that i've gone through (2 tins a day x 720 days) only around 5 have NOT been Grizzly WG. I adored/adore it. Little did I know, but found out later, that Grizzly WG is some of the "strongest" dip you can buy.
I had been a pack a day smoker for a couple years before I started dipping. However, cigs never gave me a buzz like dip did. Once I figured out how to put in a lip it was no looking back. I still smoked cigs occasionally when it wasn't appropriate to put in a lip (read: bars) but would always look forward to my tin.
I ended up putting in a half-tin per lip. more than some, less than others I'm sure. However, this became annoying as I would go through a tin in a couple hours. the local gas station ended up trying to stop selling me the grizz because I was running through their stock like crazy.
So, im rambling. Let me try and focus this...I visited a friend this weekend and smoked three packs of cigs in two days plus a couple tins. I didnt' even have some great "realization" or anything. Enough was enough with tobacco. It had always been a crutch for extreme anxiety issues. Feel uncomfortable? pack a lip, light a cig, etc. However, dip pervaded everything. I would sit and play video games for hours with lips in. I would dip at my office, where, if i got caught, it'd probably cost me my job.
A real issue is, and excuse me for introducing something not exactly pertinent to this board, that I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar. Tobacco always served to regulate my otherwise fluctuating moods. It was a constant when I was never consisent in mood.
Granted ive been stable for a couple years, but I believe i've always had a dual diagnosis with an addictive personality. (lots of substance history)
So, on Sunday night I found this site and it changed my life. The testimonial about being an "addict" and not jsut "addicted" really hit a chord along with others. I've had a stash of generic nicotine gum so i've been chewing that like crazy for a solid 4ish days. But, I jsut had a beer. Almost caved. Had keys in hand ready to go buy a black and mild or a tin. Instead, I decided to go upstairs and write my introduction.
I'm an addict, but I'm working on living with it.
Thanks for reading,
HatetheGrizz
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Nicotine gum eh?
You're not quit yet.
This is a NO nicotine site. A NO nicotine method.
You're still feeding your addiction with the gum. That... Is NOT quit.
Toss that evil crap in the trash. Get rid of any/all nicotine you may have then... Come back here and quit for real. Until then... This is not the place for you.
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Nicotine gum eh?
You're not quit yet.
This is a NO nicotine site. A NO nicotine method.
You're still feeding your addiction with the gum. That... Is NOT quit.
Toss that evil crap in the trash. Get rid of any/all nicotine you may have then... Come back here and quit for real. Until then... This is not the place for you.
Yeah. We quit nicotine here. You gonna join us?
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I was seriously considering it.
Until dude up there decided to be the world's largest Johnson about it.
I'm truly sorry for going about things as prescribed by my MD. But, nah, you know best brother.
'Finger'
Maybe Ill come back again when I'm done with the gum. But, hey, I dont know why I would when this is what ya'll consider a supportive community.
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I was seriously considering it.
Until dude up there decided to be the world's largest Johnson about it.
I'm truly sorry for going about things as prescribed by my MD. But, nah, you know best brother.
'Finger'
Maybe Ill come back again when I'm done with the gum. But, hey, I dont know why I would when this is what ya'll consider a supportive community.
Oh jeez. Your right. We know jack shit about anything. Fuck this site.
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I was seriously considering it.
Until dude up there decided to be the world's largest Johnson about it.
I'm truly sorry for going about things as prescribed by my MD. But, nah, you know best brother.
'Finger'
Maybe Ill come back again when I'm done with the gum. But, hey, I dont know why I would when this is what ya'll consider a supportive community.
Oh jeez. Your right. We know jack shit about anything. Fuck this site.
Your MD is prescribing nicotine to fix a nicotine addiction. Think about that for a minute.
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claws, thank you for being civil. I appreciate that.
I understand where youre coming from totally. thank you.
I'm sure i could go without the gum, so I'll try that out. I think if i can go without 3 tins a day....i can go without the minimal nicotine in gum.
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We'll give you all the support you need once you quit. We don't try and hope and maybe around here. We just quit all forms of nicotine.
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We don't support addiction here...
We support Quit.
Why not join us? Now. Weaning only prolongs the pain of withdrawal and at some point you have to give it up entirely anyway to classify yourself as "quit".
Do it now. It's a great time to be real about it.
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claws, thank you for being civil. I appreciate that.
I understand where youre coming from totally. thank you.
I'm sure i could go without the gum, so I'll try that out. I think if i can go without 3 tins a day....i can go without the minimal nicotine in gum.
There is no try. Only do. We all did it. You can do it. You are no more of an addict than tHevrest of us. Flush that shitbandbget started.
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Now that's what I'm talking about!
I'm sorry, but ya'll know how irritable you get when you quit.
Seeing that first response just sent chills down my spine. I spill my heart out and i get nothing but a terse exclusionary response.
I understand ya'lls philosophy and i"ll take it to heart. Thank you for your support.
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Live Chat click here (http://chat.killthecan.org/) This will help you through the night and beyond.
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ill check that out. thanks
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Now that's what I'm talking about!
I'm sorry, but ya'll know how irritable you get when you quit.
Seeing that first response just sent chills down my spine. I spill my heart out and i get nothing but a terse exclusionary response.
I understand ya'lls philosophy and i"ll take it to heart. Thank you for your support.
Sometimes you need some cold water in the face to see the reality of it.
You jump in... We're all here for you.
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You've got this, HTG. Gotta quit it all bro, but you can.
And yes, it totally sucks. lol. But after a few days, the "fog" (as most of us have come to call it) lifts a little and gets better. I'm on day 11. I feel worlds better than I ever did when I was dipping. And I could kill a can in 2 good dips. Often. So I feel your pain.
This is sort of the "Marine Corps" of quitting, I've heard it said. I believe it. It's hard a first, but I swear you'll be better for it.
--Rob
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Hey sugar. AJ is right...you can't be active in other parts of this site if you are using gum. But you are more than welcome to post in your intro. And your intro only. You can read all you want.
If the doc doc put you on a plan...fine, tell us what the plan is and tell us when Day 1 is. Then follow your program and post your Day 1 when you are supposed to. But...we both know you'll think.of a million reasons why Day 1 ain't such a good Day 1 don't we?
Listen...we typically promote cold turkey. Why prolong the inevitable? You are going to go through he'll at some point right? All you are doing is allowing the anxiety to build. You are here for a reason. Take advantage of your positive mojo...go flush your shit..and post Day 1 in Sept 14.
Or follow your program. No skin off LOOTs teeth either way. Welcome to the site. Drink the Kool aide. We know clean. We can help you be clean. We would just prefer you get started today. Ball is in your court snowflake.
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Is he quit?
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Is he quit?
5 posts, all in his intro. No post in Sept 14. Guess he's not ready.
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Is he quit?
5 posts, all in his intro. No post in Sept 14. Guess he's not ready.
He's probably still chewing nicotine gum and brooding over terse exclusionary responses. Hopefully he comes around. We will see.
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
Freakin' guitar players get all big Johnson props.........
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
Freakin' guitar players get all big Johnson props.........
:D
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
Freakin' guitar players get all big Johnson props.........
:D
Most guitar players are like 5 foot 4 inches tall. And they're skinny because guitar playing burns calories. So their Johnson's only look big in comparison to their tiny bodies.
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
Freakin' guitar players get all big Johnson props.........
:D
Most guitar players are like 5 foot 4 inches tall. And they're skinny because guitar playing burns calories. So their Johnson's only look big in comparison to their tiny bodies.
Geez... what an unsupportive community! My Johnson and I just might leave because yer mean... and unsupportive... and mean.
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I'd like to throw my application in for the world's biggest Johnson as well, no fair that AJ wins it after one post.
What can I say man? It's a gift.
I give lessons
Freakin' guitar players get all big Johnson props.........
:D
Most guitar players are like 5 foot 4 inches tall. And they're skinny because guitar playing burns calories. So their Johnson's only look big in comparison to their tiny bodies.
Geez... what an unsupportive community! My Johnson and I just might leave because yer mean... and unsupportive... and mean.
Ha 'Popcorn' Good "shiz"
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3 cans a day? Sweet mother of God, was dude injecting that shit or what? He musta been one of those 2 minuters. Put a dip in, 2 minutes spit it out, repeat.
You all freaks, talking about your junk? I have a little Johnson but it still works. 'jerk'
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I'm not talking about AJ's heaving love python, the nic gum chewwer did. Maybe if he put that in his mouth instead of gum he'd be quit and posting roll.
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I'm not talking about AJ's heaving love python, the nic gum chewwer did. Maybe if he put that in his mouth instead of gum he'd be quit and posting roll.
Man! What the hell!? HAHA!
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Hate the Grizz, if you read this, know that the poison has it's fucking tendrils in control of your brain chemistry big time. The poison is nicotine! NICOTINE!! Cigs, dip, chew, cigars, gum, patch, et c. are all just delivery systems for the poison. The only thing a hit of the poison does is to stop the withdrawal symptoms. Plain common sense tells me that the poison cannot be doing anything good for your mental heath.
Don't get all butt-hurt when you reach out for help and someone tells it like it is...
Read KTC. Start with the welcome center and read everything, you need to educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Read intro threads of some of these guys trying to help you; you will see they all came from the same place you are right now. Every one of us has been were you are and fought our way out. Read about the nicotine endgame.
If you need anything PM me.
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I'm not talking about AJ's heaving love python, the nic gum chewwer did. Maybe if he put that in his mouth instead of gum he'd be quit and posting roll.
Man! What the hell!? HAHA!
Just telling Grady I'm not talking about throbbing spunk rockets like the OP was.
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I'm not talking about AJ's heaving love python
Just telling Grady I'm not talking about throbbing spunk rockets
Not that there's anything wrong with it....
'na na'
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HTG - sorry to hijack your Intro - but that shit was too funny.
Hope you get on board - this site works if you post roll and stay active. I'm on day 26 - it's getting easier, but definitely not easy.
You just gotta stay with it.
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HateTheGrizzly,
I'm not personally bipolar, but I've had quite a bit of experience working in a mental facility, a roommate that was a Doctor of Forensic Psychology, I personally struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I have dated a couple of girls that were bipolar/borderline personality disorder. I don't know any special technique to assist you, but I do offer you a few words to think on, if you are willing to accept them:
1) People with bipolar, whether Type I or Type II, are more prone to substance abuse, as well as other Axis I disorders and also Axis II disorders (personality disorders) than those who are not.
2) There are people here on KTC with an entire array of mental disorders, all diagnosable according to the DSM-V criteria, but they/we are still quit cold-turkey.
3) Maybe you could ask your doctor about quitting cold turkey and see what his/her input is? A lot of medical professionals and smoking cessation programs promote nicotine alternatives because most people just give up cold turkey, but they also are not involved in the kind of accountability KTC will provide you.
4) If you toss the nicotine gum and any/all nicotine alternatives, go all in, post roll, drink the kool-aide, and work the KTC system, you will not be less than anyone here. You will be a brother to all of us here, and we will try to guide you and provide you with tips and advice that has worked for so many before you. We can't quit for you, but we'll sure quit with you. When I first joined, I had nicotine gum in my pocket but was not using it. I was scared to fail. I was scared that I would go back to the can. I was also pissed beyond comprehension and in a blind rage about learning that I am an addict. KTC works and will take away that fear.
5) our word/posting roll making our promise to be nicotine free no matter what happens is an absolute promise that absolutely no excuses are ever accepted for breaking. Caving is not an option. If someone goes back on their word, accountability and tough love are harsh, but 100% right on point.
6) KTC offers a thread for those who also battle mental issues. This may be a good place for you to see that you are not alone, and for you to connect with others who may understand and be able to provide you with the support you need. KTC isn't equipped to replace doctors, so please do talk to your doctor about KTC and how we operate.
7) Do a little bit of research and see for yourself that nicotine in any form does not "calm" or "stabilize moods"...it does the opposite. It causes heart rate, anxiety, etc to increase. When nicotine is ingested, it briefly sooths the very problems it created (increased heart rate, anxiety, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and so forth). Again, I'm no expert in the mental health area, but seems like maybe some breathing techniques, properly dispensed and consumed mood stabilizers, benzo's, etc. would do far more for calming you than nicotine. What are you thoughts on that?
Anyway, sorry this is long winded. Please give the above some thought and ask your doctor, as well. When you are ready, we will have your back.
PS: Please don't give AJ the big head anymore than you already have by calling him the biggest Johnson! 'roflmao'