KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Bristus on March 07, 2011, 11:58:00 PM
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hey, I'm brian, I've been dipping for 8 years now, just got married bought a house and I've decided to try and stick around for awhile. I've tried gum and the patch with no real success, so this weekend I've decided to go cold. The wife is taking away all my access to $$, keys to my car, and she's driving me to work everyday. The one big problem I'm worried about is my temper and senses of depression, which is why I gave myself three days of only interacting with my wife. Will these mood changes ease up after three days, or do they come in cycles?
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hey, I'm brian, I've been dipping for 8 years now, just got married bought a house and I've decided to try and stick around for awhile. I've tried gum and the patch with no real success, so this weekend I've decided to go cold. The wife is taking away all my access to $$, keys to my car, and she's driving me to work everyday. The one big problem I'm worried about is my temper and senses of depression, which is why I gave myself three days of only interacting with my wife. Will these mood changes ease up after three days, or do they come in cycles?
Hi Brian. Welcome.
That's an enviable helper you have, congratulations.
The answer to your question from my own experience is, "both". The worst will be over in about three days, and moods are cyclical.
I don't know if there's a scientific basis for saying so, but tobacco acts as a kind of depressant, leveling out my moods. I have fewer highs. I have fewer lows. For me, life without tobacco requires getting used to feeling more.
I've had many periods of abstinence during my decades of tobacco use, and fear of my temper is the most significant early obstacle. The following quote does not prevent me from being an ass, but it prevented me from deceiving myself into thinking I was the one who saw things reasonably but the world was going crazy:
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind - Evan Esar
I hope that's helpful.
Go to the June 2011 quit group and post roll. Do that every day. It's our way of keeping our commitment strong, by building accountability. Some other helpful folks will be along shortly, to help you get the most out of the site. Listen to what they have to say.
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I hope you are quitting for yourself and not your wife. If so. Congrats.
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Friday huh?
Listen, cancer is black and white. You have it or you don't. There is a single dip that starts the process. Let's just hope you don't take that ONE prior to Friday.
LOOT gets not wanting anyone around for the first 3 days, however, working for those 3 days will at least offer some distraction. Think about it.
We all know, with some level of certainty, that you'll come up with a million reasons why Friday doesn't work so good before it gets here.
Fuck Friday. Tuesday is AWESOME. It's Mardi-Gras too...another reason why Tuesday is better than Friday.
Plus...you'll spend Tues-Thursday dipping like a fiend and letting the anxiety of Friday eat at you. Either way you got 3 days of torture coming.
Your call.
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Make me a deal, if you can explain to me why Friday will be better and easier than today, I will let you wait until then. Just a hint, nobody has ever given me a good enough answer.
Temper, don't take this out on your poor wife. Unless of course she was the one forcing dip in your pie hole all this time against your will.....
Take it out on us, we've been there, we can handle it.
Three days isn't going to cure 8 years of stupid. Sorry.
Will it be worth it? Most definately....you have no idea. But, you can't find out unless you get started.
So get to it.
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Agree with Loot and Redtrain. Sooner better than later. I can already imagine Friday morning comes and it's "OK just one last dip..." or some stupid excuse and it all goes out the window.
Quick story about one of my attempts. Had a day picked. The day came, and our furnace died that morning. I said to my wife "no way I can quit today with this bullshit going on." Deep down it was more like "YES! The furnace died! Perfect excuse!" Sound familiar?
It will be way better to quit on YOUR terms instead of the wifes. Choosing a couple days earlier might even impress her a little and prove that you're serious about this quit. That is, if you are serious.
Lots of support here for any mood swings. Don't let it affect your family. Come in here, jump in chat, plenty of people available to talk about it or just throw around some "Fuck You"s if you need to get the anger out.
Do it.
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You aren't going to throw some magical last dip that will satisfy you for all eternity. Get busy quitting. It's going to suck no matter when you do it. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be out of the worst of it. I had plenty of quit dates that rolled on by with a bs excuse I made up for each. If you really want to quit, today's the day. There will never be a better day than today.
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Good morning folks! What a great day to quit! I quit today.
And I hope you aren't losing your temper with such an incredible quit resource. These guys are right. Want to yell at someone then yell at one of us. I hate the NB. That's where I direct my anger. We can yell at her together. Jump in the quit pool bro.
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We do not fuck around here with planned quit dated. Planned quit dates have a much lower success rate.
Quit today with the rest of us!
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hey, I'm brian, I've been dipping for 8 years now, just got married bought a house and I've decided to try and stick around for awhile. I've tried gum and the patch with no real success, so this weekend I've decided to go cold. The wife is taking away all my access to $$, keys to my car, and she's driving me to work everyday. The one big problem I'm worried about is my temper and senses of depression, which is why I gave myself three days of only interacting with my wife. Will these mood changes ease up after three days, or do they come in cycles?
Planning, hope, try, want and many of what I like to call "pussy words" are not acceptable here.....we just do quit and we do it now, not later.....flush the shit, post roll, embrace the suck and lets get started.
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easiest way to quit is doing it the day you decide. its like saying "im gonna start working out on monday" just to get a couple more days of doing nothing. then monday rolls around and you aint in the wieghtroom, your on your couch haha! quit today and get goin! its a bumpy ride and im only on day 2 but keep a good attitude and do it for yourself!
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OK Brian...I have seen you online a lot this morning... By your silence you are telling me me (us) that you are not wanting our advice or help. Are you really going to take a shit on all this support that has shown up to help you out and wait till Friday?
Man up bro...this is life or death!!
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Make me a deal, if you can explain to me why Friday will be better and easier than today, I will let you wait until then. Just a hint, nobody has ever given me a good enough answer.
Temper, don't take this out on your poor wife. Unless of course she was the one forcing dip in your pie hole all this time against your will.....
Take it out on us, we've been there, we can handle it.
Three days isn't going to cure 8 years of stupid. Sorry.
Will it be worth it? Most definately....you have no idea. But, you can't find out unless you get started.
So get to it.
Honestly, I've done the quitting before where you just decide you're done, dump your tin in the toilet and walk away, but I've failed at that everytime. I need to have a plan in place, I need to have structure around it, and I need to get over that first hurdle alone. Everyone's got triggers whether it's driving or watching a game, mine typically has nothing to do with places or activities, it's when I start mouthing off to my boss or family members because i'm on edge. That's when I feel that I have to go throw a plug in. I took the day off specifically to quit so I won't be around my triggers for the time it takes to flush this stuff out of my system.
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OK Brian...I have seen you online a lot this morning... By your silence you are telling me me (us) that you are not wanting our advice or help. Are you really going to take a shit on all this support that has shown up to help you out and wait till Friday?
Man up bro...this is life or death!!
I was on my droid, wicked slow to type on that. At work now, but have to write like one sentence at a time, don't take offense
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You ever think you might be on edge because you are stuffing your face with a deadly stimulating toxin? Your addict mind is already thinking of ways to defeat your plan...quit now and save your life.
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Make me a deal, if you can explain to me why Friday will be better and easier than today, I will let you wait until then. Just a hint, nobody has ever given me a good enough answer.Â
Temper, don't take this out on your poor wife. Unless of course she was the one forcing dip in your pie hole all this time against your will.....
Take it out on us, we've been there, we can handle it.
Three days isn't going to cure 8 years of stupid. Sorry.
Will it be worth it? Most definately....you have no idea. But, you can't find out unless you get started.
So get to it.
Honestly, I've done the quitting before where you just decide you're done, dump your tin in the toilet and walk away, but I've failed at that everytime. I need to have a plan in place, I need to have structure around it, and I need to get over that first hurdle alone. Everyone's got triggers whether it's driving or watching a game, mine typically has nothing to do with places or activities, it's when I start mouthing off to my boss or family members because i'm on edge. That's when I feel that I have to go throw a plug in. I took the day off specifically to quit so I won't be around my triggers for the time it takes to flush this stuff out of my system.
You have found the structure. It is here. Its called roll call.
We have given you the plan.
You have the support here where you never did before.
You are not special, your troubles with quitting are no different than anyone elses.
If you think that Friday, Saturday and Sunday will end all of your problems.....you're in big trouble.
This is all addict speak.
Run along and have your 3 day dipfest.....
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I am sure you have quit before in several ways BUT you have never quit before with 500 guys around you doing the exact same thing.
You are quitting right now, today, with us!!
Let us know right now if you are with us or not with us today.
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Make me a deal, if you can explain to me why Friday will be better and easier than today, I will let you wait until then. Just a hint, nobody has ever given me a good enough answer.Â
Temper, don't take this out on your poor wife. Unless of course she was the one forcing dip in your pie hole all this time against your will.....
Take it out on us, we've been there, we can handle it.
Three days isn't going to cure 8 years of stupid. Sorry.
Will it be worth it? Most definately....you have no idea. But, you can't find out unless you get started.
So get to it.
Honestly, I've done the quitting before where you just decide you're done, dump your tin in the toilet and walk away, but I've failed at that everytime. I need to have a plan in place, I need to have structure around it, and I need to get over that first hurdle alone. Everyone's got triggers whether it's driving or watching a game, mine typically has nothing to do with places or activities, it's when I start mouthing off to my boss or family members because i'm on edge. That's when I feel that I have to go throw a plug in. I took the day off specifically to quit so I won't be around my triggers for the time it takes to flush this stuff out of my system.
I agree we all have triggers. One of mine was breathing. Another was driving. Then there was eating, working, playing, watching tv, talking to my wife, yard work, walking, the internet, the phone... get the picture?
You CAN NEVER escape your triggers. Unless you jump off a bridge. That might work.
Listen to what we are saying (or read what we are typing) - "planned quit" is a precursor to planned failure. You may think you are setting the table for success, but you are not. Quit now. Post roll. That simple. Is it easy? nope, never said that. But this group gives you the best chance of success.
Quit for yourself, Quit now for today. Dont worry about tomorrow.
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I don't know what the other vets are talking about here... planned quit dates work, my friend! I should know, I was able to quit several times via the planned quit date method.
Sarcasm aside, if you wait until Friday, you will FAIL.
Period.
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It's flushed, now what
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Excellent! Go to this link, find June 2011 and introduce yourself.
index.php?showforum=2 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=2)
Welcome to the rest of your life friend.
Come to 'live chat' if you need help.
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It's flushed, now what
Now you start taking back control of your life. Go to the JUNE 2011 HOF group and post your name and Day 1. That means you will hit the Hall Of Fame (100 days quit) in June of 2011.
Posting roll is a promise to all of us that you will not use nicotine today. Go do it now. Then continue reading all you can about this site.
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
Go post roll in June 2011 giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine in any way shape or form, for today.
Hold on to your ass and Keep your word.
Do it again first thing in the morning.
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
Go post roll in June 2011 giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine in any way shape or form, for today.
Hold on to your ass and Keep your word.
Do it again first thing in the morning.
I had some in the am when I got up, don't I have to wait till tomorrow?
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
Go post roll in June 2011 giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine in any way shape or form, for today.
Hold on to your ass and Keep your word.
Do it again first thing in the morning.
I had some in the am when I got up, don't I have to wait till tomorrow?
No, you are quit right now. Post it and promise to be nic free for the rest of the day = day 1. Repeat tomorrow. Buckle up. It's a bumpy but oh so worth it ride.
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Bristus,
Find the most recent Roll.
Hit Quote
Cut EVERYTHING in the bottom box.
Paste it ALL in the top.
Then find the last guy in Quitters section.
Put your name and Day 1 under him.
Hit "Add Reply"
Then, like Ready said, "Hold on to your ass." And, "Keep your word."
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
Go post roll in June 2011 giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine in any way shape or form, for today.
Hold on to your ass and Keep your word.
Do it again first thing in the morning.
I had some in the am when I got up, don't I have to wait till tomorrow?
No, you are quit right now. Post it and promise to be nic free for the rest of the day = day 1. Repeat tomorrow. Buckle up. It's a bumpy but oh so worth it ride.
Well done, Bristus!
Hang on to your hat, and remember every minute of this.
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It's flushed, now what
Awesome.
Fucking awesome!
'clap'
Go post roll in June 2011 giving your word of honor that you will not use nicotine in any way shape or form, for today.
Hold on to your ass and Keep your word.
Do it again first thing in the morning.
I had some in the am when I got up, don't I have to wait till tomorrow?
No, you are quit right now. Post it and promise to be nic free for the rest of the day = day 1. Repeat tomorrow. Buckle up. It's a bumpy but oh so worth it ride.
Well done, Bristus!
Hang on to your hat, and remember every minute of this.
Great job, bristus. Remember this date.
Drink water. Get some rest. Be nice to your wife. If it channels your rage productively, tell us tomorrow the creative ways you'd like to kill us all. Just stay quit.
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Welcome sir.
Happy quitting.
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Way to go Bristus! One day at a time bro.
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Way to go Bristus! One day at a time bro.
You are now my new quit hero
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I sure as hell am glad to read this outcome after reading that 2 page drama...
You made an outstanding decision Bristus. I encourage you to spend alot of time here reading up and getting to know other people. When you think it's hard, sign-in and know you are in great company of quitters. Get phone numbers of other people in June you can use for daytime cravings when you're away from your computer.
Every morning when you first wake up, haul-ass to the computer and post-roll. Be a man of your word.
Welcome!
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You aren't going to throw some magical last dip that will satisfy you for all eternity. Get busy quitting. It's going to suck no matter when you do it. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be out of the worst of it. I had plenty of quit dates that rolled on by with a bs excuse I made up for each. If you really want to quit, today's the day. There will never be a better day than today.
Speak for yourself, I had the magical dip while taking my unicorn over to get a drink at the fountain of youth.
attaboy Bristus!