KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Roamcountry on April 22, 2012, 10:25:00 PM
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Hello, my name is matt, I chose roamcountry as my username because that is what I do. I am an over the road truck driver and have been dipping for 25 yrs at a can and a half a day. Tired of worrying about cancer and looking in the mirror every 5 minutes to examine "spots". I am not very blog savy so it may take me a while to figure out how all this works, but I will get there. I just threw out my can and spittoon and am feeling pretty insecure and panicky right now. My wife found this site to help her better understand how to support me through this and has been a good read for me which is why i decided to join in and take the plunge, all I have ever heard from friends that have chewed as long as i have is that they just cant do it. I have tried many times to quit, but i fear now i HAVE to and really need to anyway. I am encouraged to see so many that have chewed for as long as i have and they have done it so therefore it IS possible, although I have no illusions on how hard it will be. I just need the right people behind me and around me during this. I had to delete a few "friends" from my phone because all I get from them is "you'll never quit". I dont need that. Anyway, here goes everything! 'bang head'
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Hello, my name is matt, I chose roamcountry as my username because that is what I do. I am an over the road truck driver and have been dipping for 25 yrs at a can and a half a day. Tired of worrying about cancer and looking in the mirror every 5 minutes to examine "spots". I am not very blog savy so it may take me a while to figure out how all this works, but I will get there. I just threw out my can and spittoon and am feeling pretty insecure and panicky right now. My wife found this site to help her better understand how to support me through this and has been a good read for me which is why i decided to join in and take the plunge, all I have ever heard from friends that have chewed as long as i have is that they just cant do it. I have tried many times to quit, but i fear now i HAVE to and really need to anyway. I am encouraged to see so many that have chewed for as long as i have and they have done it so therefore it IS possible, although I have no illusions on how hard it will be. I just need the right people behind me and around me during this. I had to delete a few "friends" from my phone because all I get from them is "you'll never quit". I dont need that. Anyway, here goes everything! 'bang head'
Welcome. I was told and thought I couldn't quit. I found kTC! Today is 40 days tobacco free!
I have gone from thinking it isn't possibly to quit to really despising all things tobacco related. When I hear some decided to quit, I get stronger. You are going to take a short trip to hell. Your body will be detoxing and then your mind will start rewiring.
kTC is you rehab, therapy and hospital. Every, and I mean every fucking day you wake up, come go to the July group and post roll. Never think long term. You put 100% quit and your word to fight now. If tomorrow comes, repeat.
I love addicts but hate the addiction. I promise you two things, you will never be cured of you addiction but you are capable to never put that scum shit in your mouth again.
Anyone who tells you that you can't quit is a user and an out of control addict. I'm an addict that finally took charge. The pain of the quit is wort the reward of being free.
Have hope, apply faith, then do it. Never try...you have to do it and fight the cravings.
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Hey, I'm new too. All the best, seems to be a great bunch on here. I obsessively check the mirror for mouth cancer at all times of the day too, it's absolutely insane that we actually accepted living this way for so long. I have been dipping for 2 years so you've got time on me, but, 2 years is still 2 too long I think.
You'll get 'er done man :D
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Hello, my name is matt, I chose roamcountry as my username because that is what I do. I am an over the road truck driver and have been dipping for 25 yrs at a can and a half a day. Tired of worrying about cancer and looking in the mirror every 5 minutes to examine "spots". I am not very blog savy so it may take me a while to figure out how all this works, but I will get there. I just threw out my can and spittoon and am feeling pretty insecure and panicky right now. My wife found this site to help her better understand how to support me through this and has been a good read for me which is why i decided to join in and take the plunge, all I have ever heard from friends that have chewed as long as i have is that they just cant do it. I have tried many times to quit, but i fear now i HAVE to and really need to anyway. I am encouraged to see so many that have chewed for as long as i have and they have done it so therefore it IS possible, although I have no illusions on how hard it will be. I just need the right people behind me and around me during this. I had to delete a few "friends" from my phone because all I get from them is "you'll never quit". I dont need that. Anyway, here goes everything! 'bang head'
Welcome. I was told and thought I couldn't quit. I found kTC! Today is 40 days tobacco free!
I have gone from thinking it isn't possibly to quit to really despising all things tobacco related. When I hear some decided to quit, I get stronger. You are going to take a short trip to hell. Your body will be detoxing and then your mind will start rewiring.
kTC is you rehab, therapy and hospital. Every, and I mean every fucking day you wake up, come go to the July group and post roll. Never think long term. You put 100% quit and your word to fight now. If tomorrow comes, repeat.
I love addicts but hate the addiction. I promise you two things, you will never be cured of you addiction but you are capable to never put that scum shit in your mouth again.
Anyone who tells you that you can't quit is a user and an out of control addict. I'm an addict that finally took charge. The pain of the quit is wort the reward of being free.
Have hope, apply faith, then do it. Never try...you have to do it and fight the cravings.
Ditto what mt dog said! It doesn't matter how long you have been a idiot dipper unless you don't quit. I quit every day for 22 days today those are the days that count. You can do it. Watch your in box I'll drop you my short into
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I understand.
I dipped for about 24 years. I quit ever day for the past one thousand five hundred and thirty four days. That's a little over four years ago.
Felt like I was losing my best friend at first. Felt like I was cutting off my arm. It will be hell for the first week or so. It gets better.
I have not had a crave in a very very long time.
You have no idea how much better your quality of life can be.
All you need to do to find out is give your word ever day first thing.
The keep your word, whatever it takes.
Burn your boat, you don't need it any longer.
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I understand.
I dipped for about 24 years. I quit ever day for the past one thousand five hundred and thirty four days. That's a little over four years ago.
Felt like I was losing my best friend at first. Felt like I was cutting off my arm. It will be hell for the first week or so. It gets better.
I have not had a crave in a very very long time.
You have no idea how much better your quality of life can be.
All you need to do to find out is give your word ever day first thing.
The keep your word, whatever it takes.
Burn your boat, you don't need it any longer.
+1 on that, Roamcountry.
I dipped for 21 years, can a day, and stumbled across this place 271 days ago. Getting involved and embracing the principles here was the best thing I ever did. I don't have all the days Ready has but one not too far from you, I can attest that it gets way better and fast. I haven't had one of those craves in a long time either.
Shout if you need anything.
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I understand.
I dipped for about 24 years. I quit ever day for the past one thousand five hundred and thirty four days. That's a little over four years ago.
Felt like I was losing my best friend at first. Felt like I was cutting off my arm. It will be hell for the first week or so. It gets better.
I have not had a crave in a very very long time.
You have no idea how much better your quality of life can be.
All you need to do to find out is give your word ever day first thing.
The keep your word, whatever it takes.
Burn your boat, you don't need it any longer.
+1 on that, Roamcountry.
I dipped for 21 years, can a day, and stumbled across this place 271 days ago. Getting involved and embracing the principles here was the best thing I ever did. I don't have all the days Ready has but one not too far from you, I can attest that it gets way better and fast. I haven't had one of those craves in a long time either.
Shout if you need anything.
Welcome RC! I know you can do this. I dipped for 33 years, but quit 437 days ago thanks to this site and it's members. There will come a point in your quit that you will suddenly realize that you are FREE. It is a feeling that is beyond compare.
There is not a question on my mind that you CAN do this. If I can, so can you.
Post Roll
Honor Your Promise
Repeat.
The formula for success...
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I understand.
I dipped for about 24 years. I quit ever day for the past one thousand five hundred and thirty four days. That's a little over four years ago.
Felt like I was losing my best friend at first. Felt like I was cutting off my arm. It will be hell for the first week or so. It gets better.
I have not had a crave in a very very long time.
You have no idea how much better your quality of life can be.
All you need to do to find out is give your word ever day first thing.
The keep your word, whatever it takes.
Burn your boat, you don't need it any longer.
+1 on that, Roamcountry.
I dipped for 21 years, can a day, and stumbled across this place 271 days ago. Getting involved and embracing the principles here was the best thing I ever did. I don't have all the days Ready has but one not too far from you, I can attest that it gets way better and fast. I haven't had one of those craves in a long time either.
Shout if you need anything.
Welcome RC! I know you can do this. I dipped for 33 years, but quit 437 days ago thanks to this site and it's members. There will come a point in your quit that you will suddenly realize that you are FREE. It is a feeling that is beyond compare.
There is not a question on my mind that you CAN do this. If I can, so can you.
Post Roll
Honor Your Promise
Repeat.
The formula for success...
This place works. It works simply. One day at a time friend.
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Thanks for all the encouragement, I am really liking this page, great people, sincere people, thank you very much! Having first serious temptations but staying strong and staying quit this time for good!! .....hanging with the best of yous...
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Thanks for all the encouragement, I am really liking this page, great people, sincere people, thank you very much! Having first serious temptations but staying strong and staying quit this time for good!! .....hanging with the best of yous...
Making quitting fun helps the quit. Read, quit, enjoy, help.
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Matt continue to read everything you can I is informative but it also takes your mind off the craving. I was going to mention to you earlier to check out the nicotine free alternatives, I've tried some. Others prefer to not use them. I find that they do help with the oral fixation. Breaking the habit of having something in my mouth all the time is almost as bad as the detox for me. I just about rubbed the end of my tongue off and kept biting my the inside of my mouth. You can do it just remember 1 day at a time.
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Day 229
You ever want to stick your head in the sand? I do. As an addict, we do what addicts do and fall back on addict behavior from time to time. I had a JM moment this week that woke me up to this fact. You know where jerry mcguire gets all passionate and writes up a memo and sends it out to everybody, only to wake up the next morning going oh fuck and runs down to retract it all? In doing such a thing I realized I was in a funk and was calling out for help. In the last 24 hrs I have gone through a whole range of emotions from a-z with the last being a crockett-style screamfest to my text group...sorry guys...nah, FU 'winker' But that is what caught me up short and woke me up to realize that I was fighting the routine. The never ending battle of the addict nature. What is different for me now is that without chemicals flowing through my grey matter up in the skull is that the process is much faster than when I first quit. Fortunately, this is a place where there are people without a lot of judgement and accept you for who you are, regardless of differences of opinions, faults and whacked behavior. I came to KTC with a whole toolbox full of information on addiction that I spent a lot of money on in counseling. I already had what I needed to fight addiction at its core. I could write a novel and lay out a perfect map of what that is all about, but I am not going to, its all here already. Its everywhere on this site. You gotta want it enough to do your own homework. What I did lack when I came here is the people that I needed to help keep me accountable. I am mobile so this is a perfect venue for me to be a part of. For that, I am eternally grateful. I have developed personal and REAL accountability with folks here. Some can come and go, some get more involved than others, some are quiet, and some are more outspoken. I see the same patterns over and over again the longer I am here. Someone calls someone out, thier friends dogpile the person that does the calling, fu's are exchanged, a drama ensues, wisdom is spewed all over the place, justifications arise, and lessons are learned. In all of this some newcomers cry foul and say it is distracting from quitting while others like to watch the entertainment and say it helps keep them distracted from nic. Meanwhile there are those who are quiet and just sit back taking notes and learning in their own way.
I gave up control for a brief moment. I allowed myself to let my work situation spiral me down a rabbit hole and fell back on default mode in the ole noggin which is what led to my situation. On top of which I grabbed a savior complex in the middle somewhere. Screwing up is part of learning, part of progress. This is not me being hard on myself, this is me being honest with myself. Personal fortitude to do so is something that I have learned in the last 3 years. Its what helps make me a better person. We are all addicts. Some react to situations differently than others. When I came here, I made a pact with myself to be myself. As you see me here, so I am in person. True conquering requires integrity to maintain true identity. I see a lot of this around here.(despite the ghey jokes and banter in chat) I see a flake from time to time, but for the most part, people here are genuine. THAT is what makes this place special.
Thanks for letting me in the nuthouse......quit on!!!
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It's a good day to be quit.....
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There are many cycles that happen on this site and have come to realize there is a cycle off the site as well. When people leave I still reach out to them from time to time, often met with the same response. A cave. When asked why they were not posting, the biggest reason given is that they wind up spending hours on the site instead of just a minute or two posting roll.
I ask this: If it works and keeps you clean, then why leave? I accept this time commitment as part of my new life without dip. It works. It keeps me clean. I am too weak to stand on my own. Maybe someday I can, but for now, I need this. Thank you all for being here.
Roamcountry-259
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There are many cycles that happen on this site and have come to realize there is a cycle off the site as well. When people leave I still reach out to them from time to time, often met with the same response. A cave. When asked why they were not posting, the biggest reason given is that they wind up spending hours on the site instead of just a minute or two posting roll.
I ask this: If it works and keeps you clean, then why leave? I accept this time commitment as part of my new life without dip. It works. It keeps me clean. I am too weak to stand on my own. Maybe someday I can, but for now, I need this. Thank you all for being here.
Roamcountry-259
I'm with you Roamy! Life is nothing but a big cycle, I've added a daily commitment to part of my routine in order to break the old cycle that included poison! Remember also those that cave made a decision. Breaking that cycle of using is difficult we all know that. A caver said he didn't want to tell us he had caved because he didn't want to hurt our quit! Just the opposite happens or should happen! Early in our quit a cave can be frightening but now they strengthen my resolve and I believe they do yours also. Now lets kick some nic ass today!
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There are many cycles that happen on this site and have come to realize there is a cycle off the site as well. When people leave I still reach out to them from time to time, often met with the same response. A cave. When asked why they were not posting, the biggest reason given is that they wind up spending hours on the site instead of just a minute or two posting roll.
I ask this: If it works and keeps you clean, then why leave? I accept this time commitment as part of my new life without dip. It works. It keeps me clean. I am too weak to stand on my own. Maybe someday I can, but for now, I need this. Thank you all for being here.Â
Roamcountry-259
I'm with you Roamy! Life is nothing but a big cycle, I've added a daily commitment to part of my routine in order to break the old cycle that included poison! Remember also those that cave made a decision. Breaking that cycle of using is difficult we all know that. A caver said he didn't want to tell us he had caved because he didn't want to hurt our quit! Just the opposite happens or should happen! Early in our quit a cave can be frightening but now they strengthen my resolve and I believe they do yours also. Now lets kick some nic ass today!
Exactly WT!! I am pissed as all get out at what the bitch did to that guy and others that I know that want to hide behind a ninja cave! FUCK THAT BITCH AND KICK HER MUTHER FUCKING TEETH IN BEFORE SHE DOES IT TO YOU!!!!!!
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
proud of you. and thank you for shareing that with us praying with you on the work situation. quit with you today.
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
No way you should feel like a wuss. A wuss doesn't reach out. A wuss doesn't open up. A wuss doesn't realize they're in trouble and needs help.
A wuss shuts down. A wuss turns his back on those whilo care about him. A wuss caves.
Ive been there with the anxiety attacks. It freaks you out and makes you think some fucked up shit. Way to be strong and keep your head.
Life's tough, it can take some shots at your balls. When you've been posioning yourself for years to dodge the kicks, its gonna take some time to learn how to dodge those fuckers other ways. Apparently even more than a couple floors, maybe a couple years.
Don't feel weak....feel strong. You used your tools to beat the bitch as she wad swinging her boot at your junk.
282-0. That's some manly shit right there bro. The roads not always smooth but you're keeping it between the lines, and that shit out your mouth. Well done s!ir!!
Proud to be quit with you!
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Hello everyone, I'm Clint and new to this site. I began dipping when I first joined the military 15 years ago. I first decided to quit about a year ago. This then I have failed repeatedly. I've decided to join this site to renew my struggle. I currently live in Germany and am recently married with our first child on the way! I know I could definately use the support, since my wife really doesn't understand. Every relapse starts WW3 and ends on me not REALLY wanting to quit and how I can't be trusted. So I hope I can find some compatriots here. Thanks all.
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Hello everyone, I'm Clint and new to this site. I began dipping when I first joined the military 15 years ago. I first decided to quit about a year ago. This then I have failed repeatedly. I've decided to join this site to renew my struggle. I currently live in Germany and am recently married with our first child on the way! I know I could definately use the support, since my wife really doesn't understand. Every relapse starts WW3 and ends on me not REALLY wanting to quit and how I can't be trusted. So I hope I can find some compatriots here. Thanks all.
Clint,
Go to Welcome Center (pink Button) at the top of the page. That will get you started and help explaiin what we do and why we do it!!
Reach out to me if you need anything!
J
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Hello everyone, I'm Clint and new to this site. I began dipping when I first joined the military 15 years ago. I first decided to quit about a year ago. This then I have failed repeatedly. I've decided to join this site to renew my struggle. I currently live in Germany and am recently married with our first child on the way! I know I could definately use the support, since my wife really doesn't understand. Every relapse starts WW3 and ends on me not REALLY wanting to quit and how I can't be trusted. So I hope I can find some compatriots here. Thanks all.
Hey Clint, I'm here for you too. We all are. This site is only as good as what you make of it. Some pieces of advice. Read. Read. Read. Reach out to guys. Make the most of the tools. Have her read this: Spousal Support (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp).
PM me with any questions you may have.
Dave
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
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Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."
That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.
Still nic free.
I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.
I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.
Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......
makes everything go away
check your inbox
CleanFuel
-
Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."
That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.
Still nic free.
I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.
I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.
Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......
makes everything go away
check your inbox
CleanFuel
This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.
-
Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."
That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.
Still nic free.
I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.
I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.
Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......
makes everything go away
check your inbox
CleanFuel
This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.
What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'
-
Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."
That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.
Still nic free.
I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.
I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.
Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......
makes everything go away
check your inbox
CleanFuel
This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.
What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'
That is some great stuff right there! Man I love this Place!!!
'oh yeah'
-
Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.
Roamcountry-282
Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.
Dave
There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand (http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm) never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.
Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."
That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.
Still nic free.
I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.
I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.
Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......
makes everything go away
check your inbox
CleanFuel
This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.
What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'
That is some great stuff right there! Man I love this Place!!!
'oh yeah'
See, thats what I'm talking about, you guys are kick ass! Clean, I am 9 months away from the big 4 oh. So that may have some merit there. Thanks brothers. You rock!!
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
-
Damn proud to be quit with you today Roam!
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!
Roam, I hope things begin to get better for you man. I know they will. You are just being tested right now. Well my money is on you all the way.
Life is a series of ups and downs, nicotine never had the power to make any of it better. We gave that shit way to much credit. It never really did shit for us but cure the withdrawal, and that felt good, real good, (for a minute). And all that time we were brainwashed into thinking "the fix" was this great thing that we needed.
You were the first guy to reach out to me in my quit. It concerns me to see you struggle, but I know it is just another hurdle in your quit journey. A hurdle that you will clear. I quit with you today Roam. Keep us posted on the turn around.
Ryan
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!
Roam, I hope things begin to get better for you man. I know they will. You are just being tested right now. Well my money is on you all the way.
Life is a series of ups and downs, nicotine never had the power to make any of it better. We gave that shit way to much credit. It never really did shit for us but cure the withdrawal, and that felt good, real good, (for a minute). And all that time we were brainwashed into thinking "the fix" was this great thing that we needed.
You were the first guy to reach out to me in my quit. It concerns me to see you struggle, but I know it is just another hurdle in your quit journey. A hurdle that you will clear. I quit with you today Roam. Keep us posted on the turn around.
Ryan
The ode has been written and answer I must
Or iizphillister will burst out of lust
The tranny is done and I'm back on the road
I woke up this morning and laughed at my ode
This place is strong with support and cheerleaders
But as for the weak, you'll see nothing but bleeders
Thanks for all the texts and fun poking
Down the road is where I'll be stroking
Wait, that didnt sound just quite right
You quitters will be making more fun now at night
But its the jeering and peering that make it bearable
To keep this quitter going down the road unfearable
My quit is strong despite the hard times
Because of you gheys and all of your chimes
So keep the quit strong and spread it around
While I keep all the rubber facing the ground.
shocker
-
Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!
Roam, I hope things begin to get better for you man. I know they will. You are just being tested right now. Well my money is on you all the way.
Life is a series of ups and downs, nicotine never had the power to make any of it better. We gave that shit way to much credit. It never really did shit for us but cure the withdrawal, and that felt good, real good, (for a minute). And all that time we were brainwashed into thinking "the fix" was this great thing that we needed.
You were the first guy to reach out to me in my quit. It concerns me to see you struggle, but I know it is just another hurdle in your quit journey. A hurdle that you will clear. I quit with you today Roam. Keep us posted on the turn around.
Ryan
The ode has been written and answer I must
Or iizphillister will burst out of lust
The tranny is done and I'm back on the road
I woke up this morning and laughed at my ode
This place is strong with support and cheerleaders
But as for the weak, you'll see nothing but bleeders
Thanks for all the texts and fun poking
Down the road is where I'll be stroking
Wait, that didnt sound just quite right
You quitters will be making more fun now at night
But its the jeering and peering that make it bearable
To keep this quitter going down the road unfearable
My quit is strong despite the hard times
Because of you gheys and all of your chimes
So keep the quit strong and spread it around
While I keep all the rubber facing the ground.
shocker
NowTHAT'S freaking awesome. Glad i could bring you a little joy, bro.
-
Roam, Her's a bug for your collection. Don't kill this one.
-
Roam, Her's a bug for your collection. Don't kill this one.
Lol! Fuggen bugs!!
-
'Finger'
-
'Finger'
Told ya....
-
'Finger'
Told ya....
:WastedPanel:
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
Nice Roam I would have to say these are my same feelings that I have been having. They are now pinpointed
-
Roamcountry...
What do you mean by tell Z to GFHS... I know what the GFHS means. Who is Z?
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
Nice Roam I would have to say these are my same feelings that I have been having. They are now pinpointed
'clap' Hear Hear, nice Roam! Someone must step forward and be the leader and start cleaning up the mess. To bad all that blood is gonna leave some stains that won't fade very fast.
-
Roamcountry...
What do you mean by tell Z to GFHS... I know what the GFHS means. Who is Z?
ziesmer, a dear friend... 'no'
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Roamcountry...
What do you mean by tell Z to GFHS... I know what the GFHS means. Who is Z?
ziesmer, a dear friend... 'no'
What is GFHS? Great Falls High School?
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Roamcountry...
What do you mean by tell Z to GFHS... I know what the GFHS means. Who is Z?
ziesmer, a dear friend... 'no'
What is GFHS? Great Falls High School?
Go Fuck His Self
This 'Finger' should just be renamed the Z...
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
Nice Roam I would have to say these are my same feelings that I have been having. They are now pinpointed
'clap' Hear Hear, nice Roam! Someone must step forward and be the leader and start cleaning up the mess. To bad all that blood is gonna leave some stains that won't fade very fast.
bingo
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
Nice Roam I would have to say these are my same feelings that I have been having. They are now pinpointed
'clap' Hear Hear, nice Roam! Someone must step forward and be the leader and start cleaning up the mess. To bad all that blood is gonna leave some stains that won't fade very fast.
bingo
Great Falls High School
OMG. TIFFS. FUZ
-
Take what you need and leave the rest.....
Not much to take the last few days and its getting weaker.....on BOTH boards.
LooTs famous question: Why are you here?
The right answer: To quit, stay quit, and learn how to be a master quitter.
The answer right now....beats the living fuck outta me cause all I see is blood everywhere, feelings being hurt. But most of all, among two houses of integrity and honesty, I see deception and lack of trust on many parts, accusations flying by individuals shooting arrows in the dark.
I call on ALL parties involved... enough
Character. Show it. Live it.
Above all, tell Z to GFHS.
(Posted both houses)
Nice Roam I would have to say these are my same feelings that I have been having. They are now pinpointed
'clap' Hear Hear, nice Roam! Someone must step forward and be the leader and start cleaning up the mess. To bad all that blood is gonna leave some stains that won't fade very fast.
bingo
Great Falls High School
OMG. TIFFS. FUZ
guess I wasn't 'truck cab' material
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Sorry I didn't get your voice mail till I got back in town. Phone was not working.
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My little ghey tranny loving truck driving buddy had his PM priviledges suspended 12 days before reaching his comma, not because of something he did but because of something you are afraid he might do... 'Crazy'
There are a group of us that text everyday and Roam is a part of that group and he hasn't even tried to recruit any of us from our text group so I highly doubt he would use the PM system to recruit for that other site. Again 'Crazy'
Shouldn't your goal be to get people to quit nicotine by whatever method or website possible? This guy had done quite a bit for this site all for free and this is how you treat him? Pathetic...
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Miscommunications and issues have been resolved, thank you. Quit on.
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'Popcorn'
Good to hear Roam. When level heads prevail things have a way of straightening themselves out.
-
My little ghey tranny loving truck driving buddy had his PM priviledges suspended 12 days before reaching his comma, not because of something he did but because of something you are afraid he might do... 'Crazy'
There are a group of us that text everyday and Roam is a part of that group and he hasn't even tried to recruit any of us from our text group so I highly doubt he would use the PM system to recruit for that other site. Again 'Crazy'
Shouldn't your goal be to get people to quit nicotine by whatever method or website possible? This guy had done quite a bit for this site all for free and this is how you treat him? Pathetic...
Indeed BWB, that is a great mystery, much like vadge's sexual preferences.
In all seriousness, i don't see why roam was ever being questioned. I am part of the same group that was previously mentioned, Roam doesn't even make mention of any other site let alone recruit. Further more, if he was recruiting, so what? Fucking guy is bad ass, he is a quit commander. Anybody would be lucky to have him take them under his wing and guide them to the promised land. Do the overlords here think they hold the secret recipe for leadership, longevity, and commitment to a quit?
Roam is like the nerdy guy in high school and KTC would be the cheerleader. As we all know how the scenario plays out, no matter how much roam pours his heart into it (and in this case it's a lot), he ain't ever gonna be good enough to take to the big dance. Flash forward, reunion, cheerleader turned into a self loathing bitch cause she thought her shit didn't stink, roam walks in all suave with his skinny jeans showing off his 8" of manhood and 6 figure income, cheerleader regrets never giving him a chance...blah blah blah.
For the record, I'm a has-been, maybe a never was, anymore posting twice a month. When I started here, it was hardcore in your face go fuck yourself quit. If you weren't here for that, get the fuck out. Having privileges revoked was for special butterflies like crockett and toetag. You put roam in that same group? Who are the special butterflies now and what exactly are you trying to protect?
-
My little ghey tranny loving truck driving buddy had his PM priviledges suspended 12 days before reaching his comma, not because of something he did but because of something you are afraid he might do... 'Crazy'
There are a group of us that text everyday and Roam is a part of that group and he hasn't even tried to recruit any of us from our text group so I highly doubt he would use the PM system to recruit for that other site. Again 'Crazy'
Shouldn't your goal be to get people to quit nicotine by whatever method or website possible? This guy had done quite a bit for this site all for free and this is how you treat him? Pathetic...
Indeed BWB, that is a great mystery, much like vadge's sexual preferences.
In all seriousness, i don't see why roam was ever being questioned. I am part of the same group that was previously mentioned, Roam doesn't even make mention of any other site let alone recruit. Further more, if he was recruiting, so what? Fucking guy is bad ass, he is a quit commander. Anybody would be lucky to have him take them under his wing and guide them to the promised land. Do the overlords here think they hold the secret recipe for leadership, longevity, and commitment to a quit?
Roam is like the nerdy guy in high school and KTC would be the cheerleader. As we all know how the scenario plays out, no matter how much roam pours his heart into it (and in this case it's a lot), he ain't ever gonna be good enough to take to the big dance. Flash forward, reunion, cheerleader turned into a self loathing bitch cause she thought her shit didn't stink, roam walks in all suave with his skinny jeans showing off his 8" of manhood and 6 figure income, cheerleader regrets never giving him a chance...blah blah blah.
For the record, I'm a has-been, maybe a never was, anymore posting twice a month. When I started here, it was hardcore in your face go fuck yourself quit. If you weren't here for that, get the fuck out. Having privileges revoked was for special butterflies like crockett and toetag. You put roam in that same group? Who are the special butterflies now and what exactly are you trying to protect?
you are all ghey...especially you suds.... 'Finger'
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Congrats on your comma Matt!! I'll never forget those first few months, I wouldn't have made it without you.
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Congrats on your comma Matt!! I'll never forget those first few months, I wouldn't have made it without you.
Bump
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Congrats on your comma Matt!! I'll never forget those first few months, I wouldn't have made it without you.
Bump
Wow! Way awesome.
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Congrats on your comma Matt!! I'll never forget those first few months, I wouldn't have made it without you.
Bump
Wow! Way awesome.
1,000 days of honor and freedom! Outstanding brother!
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Congrats on your comma Matt!! I'll never forget those first few months, I wouldn't have made it without you.
Bump
Wow! Way awesome.
1,000 days of honor and freedom! Outstanding brother!
Thanks guys.....WT you solid bro
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Three years well done!