KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: longhorn1506 on December 09, 2013, 05:55:00 PM
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I'm now two days in... and it's tough. I've been a can a day of cope snuff for the past 12 years. My mind is made up this time. I'm tired of that little silver top can running my life. I'm taking over now nic. Thank you all in advance... today has been a big struggle and I've gotten through by reading your posts. Two days quit! Hell yeah! 'fireman'
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Welcome Longhorn, Can you tell me how you made up your mind? What pissed you off enough to cuss out that can? I want you to live in that pissed off world, jot it down, read it 9 times a day, copy it 20 times and stick the copies everywhere that triggers your dip, Believe in yourself and with the support here you can do this. Tomorrow is 40 days for me and I can't believe it, but I love the quit -- hate the nic.
Mogul
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Welcome to the Nut House Longhorn. Nice job of posting your Day 2 today. At the beginning, read all you can in the Welcome Center. Read the intros and the HOF speeches. Post up a welcome for all the new guys that just posted up their intro and send them your telephone number by pm. That is the first step to accountability and laying the foundations of brotherhood. Now, look up at your Inbox(1) and you will see a message from me. It is my telephone number. Call me 24/7 when you feel the need to vent, rage or just need to shoot the shit. Welcome and congrats on taking back your life. Wayne
PS--I hope you don't hold it against me that my Baylor Bears beat the shit out of your Longhorns Saturday afternoon!
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Glad you have quit. Great decision. Read all the wisdom in this site and make your daily promise. Quitting will become as natural as it was to use. Quitting will fill the void, the void that the tobacco created in the first place. I quit with you today. One day at a time.
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The reason I made my decision... a few things brought me here. #1- this crap scared my wife on a daily basis. Cancer ran in her family. She's seen it before. I love her too much to put her through it. #2- Just found out the good Lord is blessing us with our first child! Woohoo! I wanna be here for my family. #3 This one put me over the top. I'm a volunteer fireman. Been with my dept 7 years now. A good friend on the dept... found out a year an a half ago that he had melanoma. This guy would do anything for anyone. Anything. Never did any wrong... didn't smoke... didn't drink... Just worked his ass off and cared for others. Found out on the 7th that they give him two weeks. He's been battling for his life and now's he's losing. And here I am dipping a can a day like I'm invincible... I'm ashamed of myself. That's why I'm done. Done for good. Quit for life!
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The reason I made my decision... a few things brought me here. #1- this crap scared my wife on a daily basis. Cancer ran in her family. She's seen it before. I love her too much to put her through it. #2- Just found out the good Lord is blessing us with our first child! Woohoo! I wanna be here for my family. #3 This one put me over the top. I'm a volunteer fireman. Been with my dept 7 years now. A good friend on the dept... found out a year an a half ago that he had melanoma. This guy would do anything for anyone. Anything. Never did any wrong... didn't smoke... didn't drink... Just worked his ass off and cared for others. Found out on the 7th that they give him two weeks. He's been battling for his life and now's he's losing. And here I am dipping a can a day like I'm invincible... I'm ashamed of myself. That's why I'm done. Done for good. Quit for life!
Glad you are here. I was in your shoes... Holy smokes. Wife hated it... Kids inbound. Still dipped for 15 more years. I also thought it would be a good idea to quit 20yrs ago when I found some weird lump on my tongue. Turned out to be no big deal... Still continued to dip following the positive news.
#1. Needs to be you are done for YOU. You can't quit for anyone but you. I say this not to push you away but to tell you straight. This is the only way. The nic addiction is powerful and you need to squash is daily! YOU better want it more than anything today, brother.
You can do this... You got to want to quit for you or this won't work. All the other reasons are nice but they don't stand up to the fight! You are fighting for your life.
You got to want it. If you do. Go get it. Post roll. Stay quit.
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Derk is correct. If YOU want it. Then and only then can you really quit. So, if you're ready to stay quit, to throw down the gauntlets on the nic bitch and go all out fisticuffs, then get to roll posting. Scour this site for info and read the others stories, all of us share the same goal, and many of the same fears. We are all with you, and know that if i can make it to 21 days, so can you, and if Mogul can make it to 40 days, so can I. Nobody here has the willpower to just quit and be happy, the addiction lasts forever. But together, we are much stronger than the nicotine whore we've subjected ourselves to. Remember that all this is about you. So, when you get the nic rage and you're seeing red. call one of us and take it out on us, or on here. Leave your wife/coworkers etc... out of it. All of this is because of you. Don't take any of it out on them. It is a rough ride, but that's why we are here, for one another. Stay quit. I quit with you.
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I agree with both of you. I've tried quitting before. My wife has never liked it. But I never truly wanted to quit. I was just doing it for her. Now it's my time. I want this. And that's why I'm quit 3 days now and I feel awesome. Thank you all. This group is incredible!
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I agree with both of you. I've tried quitting before. My wife has never liked it. But I never truly wanted to quit. I was just doing it for her. Now it's my time. I want this. And that's why I'm quit 3 days now and I feel awesome. Thank you all. This group is incredible!
Kick ass longhorn! Welcome to March Madness buddy. I. Quit. With. You.
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Here for you all day brother if you need it.
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Things may get a little foggy soon. Keep your head down and get through it one day at a time. Keep reading on the site and reaching out. You'll get through this and be so glad!
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Here is a brief timeline on how my quit is going, I'm not sure if it's helpful or not but I made it for another new quitter and he seemed to like it.
"3 days is something to be proud of. The nic is out of your system so it's all fun and games now...right? Well F...guess what? Your body is use to living with nic and now it's mad and is about to really fight you.
The good news is that you understand how to use your tools and you have some good fight in you. The better news is that it gets so much easier very quickly. Now, I realize that "quickly" is a very relative term- as when you are suffering minute to minute, 5 or 6 weeks seem like 100 years. In reality, 5 or 6 weeks is not a very long time.
Keep in mind, I am no expert and I am just going off of what I have experienced the past 73 days. My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-73: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
Day 74- 85: Really good days. Strong cravings when I have too many drinks so I have been careful with drinking. Normal days are now 0-1 crave. My temper has been completely under control for 2 weeks now.
Day 86-99: Zero craves, zero dip dreams and temper under control. The strong craves when I drink are also gone. I am disgusted when I see someone dip. Proudly watching my group hit HOF one at a time; which is just how we quit, one day at a time. My guard is still held high as I know the fight is far from over.
Day 100-135: I am on a high as I have reached my first goal. My guard is held the highest it has ever been in because I will not disappoint all those who have helped me.
Day 136: Rough patch at work this week. Just found out that we are closing our Sleep Division (I'm in Medical Sales). I make about 50% of my commission in sleep so I have no idea what I am going to do.
I took my wife to a nice dinner and explained it to her. We are both freaking out. I also drank about 6 Martinis and for about a 5 minute period, I told myself I was going to get a can on the way home. Who cares at this point...right?
I got up, went to the bathroom, got my tools in order and said fuck off Nic Bitch....I may be willing to screw myself right now but not everyone who has helped me. I put my big boy pants on and went home.
Minny and his 1+1= 2 theory kept ringing in my head.
Day 137-142: Guard held high and in for the long run. Weird dip dream last night. I just remember feeling panicky because I needed some SM and couldn't find any at any store. I woke up and was fine. It is funny as I haven't used SM since my first week of quit.
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The reason I made my decision... a few things brought me here. #1- this crap scared my wife on a daily basis. Cancer ran in her family. She's seen it before. I love her too much to put her through it. #2- Just found out the good Lord is blessing us with our first child! Woohoo! I wanna be here for my family. #3 This one put me over the top. I'm a volunteer fireman. Been with my dept 7 years now. A good friend on the dept... found out a year an a half ago that he had melanoma. This guy would do anything for anyone. Anything. Never did any wrong... didn't smoke... didn't drink... Just worked his ass off and cared for others. Found out on the 7th that they give him two weeks. He's been battling for his life and now's he's losing. And here I am dipping a can a day like I'm invincible... I'm ashamed of myself. That's why I'm done. Done for good. Quit for life!
and that is exactly why I asked. I stopped dipping for both of my sons and my daughter when they were born. Lasted OH, about, 2 days. I have quit for many reasons in the past. What they really turned out to be was a "stop" for a few hours and not a "quit". We know what you are going through, we know what you are thinking, and we know what the Nic Bitch is going to do to you, its called an end around. She is going to let you think you got this, that you are doing great, that you have her beat and then like a freaking cougar, WHAM!!!, she attacks.
Be ready for anything, have your tools in place and be ready to hunker down and forget everything else. Nothing matters like your quit. Sometimes when things were really hard and I wanted to gouge out my eyes and rip out my fingernails I would just stand in the shower. Let hot water run down over me while I got my thoughts together. Sometimes I showered 3 times in 3 hours. Dried the hell out of my skin, but I'm still quit. Just be prepared and we will be standing right beside you. Know you got this for you. Know it.
mogul
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The reason I made my decision... a few things brought me here. #1- this crap scared my wife on a daily basis. Cancer ran in her family. She's seen it before. I love her too much to put her through it. #2- Just found out the good Lord is blessing us with our first child! Woohoo! I wanna be here for my family. #3 This one put me over the top. I'm a volunteer fireman. Been with my dept 7 years now. A good friend on the dept... found out a year an a half ago that he had melanoma. This guy would do anything for anyone. Anything. Never did any wrong... didn't smoke... didn't drink... Just worked his ass off and cared for others. Found out on the 7th that they give him two weeks. He's been battling for his life and now's he's losing. And here I am dipping a can a day like I'm invincible... I'm ashamed of myself. That's why I'm done. Done for good. Quit for life!
and that is exactly why I asked. I stopped dipping for both of my sons and my daughter when they were born. Lasted OH, about, 2 days. I have quit for many reasons in the past. What they really turned out to be was a "stop" for a few hours and not a "quit". We know what you are going through, we know what you are thinking, and we know what the Nic Bitch is going to do to you, its called an end around. She is going to let you think you got this, that you are doing great, that you have her beat and then like a freaking cougar, WHAM!!!, she attacks.
Be ready for anything, have your tools in place and be ready to hunker down and forget everything else. Nothing matters like your quit. Sometimes when things were really hard and I wanted to gouge out my eyes and rip out my fingernails I would just stand in the shower. Let hot water run down over me while I got my thoughts together. Sometimes I showered 3 times in 3 hours. Dried the hell out of my skin, but I'm still quit. Just be prepared and we will be standing right beside you. Know you got this for you. Know it.
mogul
Yea. I "quit" for my daughter when she was born last April. After she arrived and Mom and Baby were sound asleep? Straight to the closest Gas Station, then I had a dip in the bathroom of the Maternity suite. Made it, maybe 16 hours.
That little angel has every part of my heart and soul, still couldn't quit for her. Or her beautiful mother, my true love. Or either of my amazing sons.
I quit. It's only about me. It's between me, myself and I. I post roll each day to be accountable for my quit, but its a promise I make to myself, not to anyone else. That makes all the difference.
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Thank you all... it's amazing how just getting on here and do a little reading and seeing others in the same situation can get you through a crave.
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I agree with both of you. I've tried quitting before. My wife has never liked it. But I never truly wanted to quit. I was just doing it for her. Now it's my time. I want this. And that's why I'm quit 3 days now and I feel awesome. Thank you all. This group is incredible!
Kick ass longhorn! Welcome to March Madness buddy. I. Quit. With. You.
Damn straight brother. That is what I want to hear!!!! QLF with you all day long.
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Thank you all... it's amazing how just getting on here and do a little reading and seeing others in the same situation can get you through a crave.
That's what I'm talking abort Longhorn! Hell yes! We are not alone in this. I don't know about you but I never thought I would ever in my life have hundreds of people pulling for me to to anything. I would not still be quit without the accountability that we make for ourselves by posting, quitting, and sharing everyday. I quit with you brother.
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Thank you all... it's amazing how just getting on here and do a little reading and seeing others in the same situation can get you through a crave.
That's what I'm talking abort Longhorn! Hell yes! We are not alone in this. I don't know about you but I never thought I would ever in my life have hundreds of people pulling for me to to anything. I would not still be quit without the accountability that we make for ourselves by posting, quitting, and sharing everyday. I quit with you brother.
I guarantee there is not one damn thing someone has done that another on this site has not also done. We were all dumb asses.
Me pouring a full gallon of windshield washer fluid out my car window at 70mph, soaking my hand and sleeve in the process and infuriating the cars behind me, just so I had a spitter...I bet someone else on here has done the same.
Not anything to brag about, but sometimes there's comfort in shared stupidity.
Even better though is the shared feeling of being FREE and being QUIT.
That's the good stuff, fellas. Soak it up.
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Thank you all... it's amazing how just getting on here and do a little reading and seeing others in the same situation can get you through a crave.
That's what I'm talking abort Longhorn! Hell yes! We are not alone in this. I don't know about you but I never thought I would ever in my life have hundreds of people pulling for me to to anything. I would not still be quit without the accountability that we make for ourselves by posting, quitting, and sharing everyday. I quit with you brother.
I guarantee there is not one damn thing someone has done that another on this site has not also done. We were all dumb asses.
Me pouring a full gallon of windshield washer fluid out my car window at 70mph, soaking my hand and sleeve in the process and infuriating the cars behind me, just so I had a spitter...I bet someone else on here has done the same.
Not anything to brag about, but sometimes there's comfort in shared stupidity.
Even better though is the shared feeling of being FREE and being QUIT.
That's the good stuff, fellas. Soak it up.
No kidding there! So many things i used to do that I was ashamed of and that were really stupid, all in the service of the nic bitch! Now, i've found that there are others here who have done anything at all that I did. The shared shame, and forgiveness, is pretty powerful. For just one example, I thought I was the only one who packed little sachets of the death weed in napkins or paper, etc. just so I could get into movies without as much fear of the wife catching me-- great ninja style, really very stupid and indicative of a slave, and as it turns out not all that unique. Yeah it was dumb as hell but just to be able to air it and have others relate is pretty helpful.
Keep up the good quits guys, you are rocking it!
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Thank you all... it's amazing how just getting on here and do a little reading and seeing others in the same situation can get you through a crave.
That's what I'm talking abort Longhorn! Hell yes! We are not alone in this. I don't know about you but I never thought I would ever in my life have hundreds of people pulling for me to to anything. I would not still be quit without the accountability that we make for ourselves by posting, quitting, and sharing everyday. I quit with you brother.
I guarantee there is not one damn thing someone has done that another on this site has not also done. We were all dumb asses.
Me pouring a full gallon of windshield washer fluid out my car window at 70mph, soaking my hand and sleeve in the process and infuriating the cars behind me, just so I had a spitter...I bet someone else on here has done the same.
Not anything to brag about, but sometimes there's comfort in shared stupidity.
Even better though is the shared feeling of being FREE and being QUIT.
That's the good stuff, fellas. Soak it up.
No kidding there! So many things i used to do that I was ashamed of and that were really stupid, all in the service of the nic bitch! Now, i've found that there are others here who have done anything at all that I did. The shared shame, and forgiveness, is pretty powerful. For just one example, I thought I was the only one who packed little sachets of the death weed in napkins or paper, etc. just so I could get into movies without as much fear of the wife catching me-- great ninja style, really very stupid and indicative of a slave, and as it turns out not all that unique. Yeah it was dumb as hell but just to be able to air it and have others relate is pretty helpful.
Keep up the good quits guys, you are rocking it!
I used to put my can under my ballsack.
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What happens if your name gets cut while posting roll? Should you post roll again? I just took a look to see how others were doing and noticed I got cut a few posts back
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What happens if your name gets cut while posting roll? Should you post roll again? I just took a look to see how others were doing and noticed I got cut a few posts back
ah got hip checked into the boards.
well your promise is there, can add it again with a note of "bump fix" is what we usually do
it happens to everyone. Even at 520ish days I bumped a fellow group member in Oct12.
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What happens if your name gets cut while posting roll? Should you post roll again? I just took a look to see how others were doing and noticed I got cut a few posts back
It happens alot, we call it getting bumped. you just have to keep an eye on it a few minutes after you post roll, and if you got bumped, try again.
Also check and make sure you didn't bump anybody. (others are supposed to do this too, and put you back on if they bumped you - but it doesn't always happen).
I've raged many times over getting bumped! its a right-of-passage here.