KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: bennythekid on July 12, 2010, 08:29:00 AM
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
Benny - welcome to the site. Have you dumped the can out? Do you have a plan? There is lots of great info on this site. Start reading and following the advice. I'm a Day 29 quiter of 30 years of kodiak. You can do it, but have a plan and post everyday. Start reading some of the other introductions, find the the prayer and the contract. Remeber if you want to be done, then you can't ever have "1 more dip". As for getting aggressive with the girl, if you feel rage coming on, go out for a run. Don't give into rage, take control find something to do in a positive way. Get seeds and fake stuff and be a quiter! Welcome to the site, now go post and promise for today - I will not chew.
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thanks for the advice. , there are no cans in my house. any empty bottles around my house, any trash i would spit in, etc, i have thrown out. i'm also going to clean out my car and detail it as a sort of removal of reminders.
I think the running advice is great, i have been bicycling a lot lately, I think I will use that as my physical distraction.
I guess I am also worried about over eating out of the need.
I think I am going to try gum. I'm afraid the seeds will be abrasive due to excessive salt.
Ben
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
Benny, it looks like you might be on to something as far as finding hsupport to help you quit. But the first thing you need to realize is that "wishing you luck" isn't going to have a damn thing to do with you being successful at quitting. This is going to take committment, hard work, a lot of frustration and a shit-load of intestinal fortitude on your part. Throw luck in the toilet and flush it with the rest of the cope you may still have in your possession.
And take it from me...DO NOT LET THIS QUIT BE AN EXCUSE TO SCREW UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Quitting doesn't MAKE you an ass-hole. Lack of nic doesn't MAKE you want to be a total dickhead to others. Those are your CHOICES of how to act and deal with the frustrations of quitting. You need to rant, rage, throw a temper tantrum, get a mean and nasty? Come on in here...we have plenty of patience and experience dealing with all that right in here...you need to get it out or take it out on someone, do so in here....NEVER take it out on your family/significant other.
Read everything you can on this site...post everything....the more active you are in your quit, the more likely to be a success. Welcome to the suck. If you need to talk or need a number, it's yours for the asking....we are here for each other...well, most of us are...
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I'm going to try to take the no bullshit approach for sure.
this time its not for anyone else.
this time means no next time because its for good.
no more last dips. no more bullshit excuses to satiate the cravings.
I really just want to get away from this. I quit other things before this, why this one stuck around, I do not know.
I feel like it would be a major success in my life to achieve the 100 day quit and stay that way..
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I'm going to try to take the no bullshit approach for sure.
this time its not for anyone else.
this time means no next time because its for good.
no more last dips. no more bullshit excuses to satiate the cravings.
I really just want to get away from this. I quit other things before this, why this one stuck around, I do not know.
I feel like it would be a major success in my life to achieve the 100 day quit and stay that way..
You going to try? We don't try anything around here, you either man u9 and quit or you don't but we don't waffle around here. Throw the crap out and take your life back. Also, stop using the word try, there is no use for it here.
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:o
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:o
We bust balls cause we care benny.
Using the words "try" and "hope" show a point of view that we don't subscribe to.
As the wise green one said, "Do or do not... there is no try."
You CAN do this.
You WILL do this.
I won't wish you "luck" because there is no luck involved in a successful quit.
See you on the flip side.
chewie
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:o
We bust balls cause we care benny.
Using the words "try" and "hope" show a point of view that we don't subscribe to.
As the wise green one said, "Do or do not... there is no try."
You CAN do this.
You WILL do this.
I won't wish you "luck" because there is no luck involved in a successful quit.
See you on the flip side.
chewie
'Cheers'
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bottom line is i'm doing this no matter how crazy it gets. and i'm not going to gain 20 pounds doing so. time for a bike ride.
thanke for adjusting my attitude
benny
'army'
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
you are not going to loose me over this. i know how you are and i can handle it. i'm going to work on ways to be patient with you and try to understand you. i'm glad you're finally doing this.
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
you are not going to loose me over this. i know how you are and i can handle it. i'm going to work on ways to be patient with you and try to understand you. i'm glad you're finally doing this.
Now THAT'S what I call some shit-hot Quitting Support!
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Hi I'm benny. This is approximately my forth endeavor into quitting, and thanks to this website, I feel way stronger about my commitment to quitting for MYSELF!
I've wanted to quit so many times but it always ended in regret due to resentment of someone else, frustrations towards my lady friend and band mates, and all of that anxiety that comes with it, but I have made it two months before. This time I know its going to be hard but I can make it.
I play music full time in a touring post-punk band and I'm tired of begging for change and spending my per diem meal money on cope. two of my guys are also into dipping, so this is a good chance because I am home until the end of the month from tour.
The only fear I have is getting complacent from being home and being aggressive towards my girl.
Wish me luck! I appreciate any support and words of wisdom!
'jedisith'
you are not going to loose me over this. i know how you are and i can handle it. i'm going to work on ways to be patient with you and try to understand you. i'm glad you're finally doing this.
Now THAT'S what I call some shit-hot Quitting Support!
You want to be aggressive toward anyone you bring your ass here. It is not her fault you chose to put that shit in your face. She will not understand why you are being an ass. That is one of the things we are here for. You can do this. drink lots of water, get some pure cranberry juice, read - read - and read some more and sit back and enjoy the wild ride comming up. Carry on, That is all!
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
-
day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
For what it's worth...
I'm fat. Much fatter than when I quit. I'm quit nearly 4 years now and still haven't taken off my quit weight.
All of that said, I'm much happier quit than I would be skinny.
Just sayin.
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
For what it's worth...
I'm fat. Much fatter than when I quit. I'm quit nearly 4 years now and still haven't taken off my quit weight.
All of that said, I'm much happier quit than I would be skinny.
Just sayin.
Don't think of it as gaining weight, think of it as:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI)
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
For what it's worth...
I'm fat. Much fatter than when I quit. I'm quit nearly 4 years now and still haven't taken off my quit weight.
All of that said, I'm much happier quit than I would be skinny.
Just sayin.
Don't think of it as gaining weight, think of it as:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI)
I disagree. I used to go back to dipping when I felt fat. I do not subscribe to the theory of not depriving yourself of anything. If you didn't eat Big Macs before, don't do it now. With that being said almost everyone puts on a little weight even people like me who are die hard gym rats. it is inevitable and ultimately, in moderation, a little fat is better than a little tobacco. however make sure you are comfortable in your own skin or else you could be a vain mother fucker like me and just say fuck it i'd rather be in shape. all i am saying is be careful.
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
For what it's worth...
I'm fat. Much fatter than when I quit. I'm quit nearly 4 years now and still haven't taken off my quit weight.
All of that said, I'm much happier quit than I would be skinny.
Just sayin.
Don't think of it as gaining weight, think of it as:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI)
I disagree. I used to go back to dipping when I felt fat. I do not subscribe to the theory of not depriving yourself of anything. If you didn't eat Big Macs before, don't do it now. With that being said almost everyone puts on a little weight even people like me who are die hard gym rats. it is inevitable and ultimately, in moderation, a little fat is better than a little tobacco. however make sure you are comfortable in your own skin or else you could be a vain mother fucker like me and just say fuck it i'd rather be in shape. all i am saying is be careful.
Yeah, ask Glenn where to buy those fun house mirrors that make you look thin in the waist and thick in the chest.....helps with his vanity.....
Course, if you're short like me, it just makes you look like you have a fat head....
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day one is over... i drank a TON of water today and went on a four or five mile brisk bike ride... i was a litlte grouchy, and i'm a little disappointed, i ate a LOT of food today. Any suggestions on curbing the diet?
Also - i tried that mint non-tobacco snuff. i think it helped a tad.
oh and thanks, Rox, for supporting me by getting on here, and to the rest of you guys for actually being here for a guy like me. I know I am able to do this.Â
so here's to day one out of the way. day two start in 3 hours.
much love
Benny
Ok, save the "LOVE" for Rox.... :wub:
As for the food thing, look, quitting is a frickin nightmare all on its own. Obviously you want to remain healthy, but worrying about eating too much right now is not going to really help your quit...in my opinion. Yeah, you might gain a few pounds, but you can take that off....better than caving, wouldn't you say?
That or removing half of your face.
I agree. I did not even worry about anything but quitting. My attitude was to NOT deny myself anything else I wanted. If I wanted a BigMac, I got a BigMac.
Use the money you save and buy P90X next month.
Loosing weight is easy compared to quitting.
FYI, we are all guys like you. Supporting you is like supporting myself.
For what it's worth...
I'm fat. Much fatter than when I quit. I'm quit nearly 4 years now and still haven't taken off my quit weight.
All of that said, I'm much happier quit than I would be skinny.
Just sayin.
Don't think of it as gaining weight, think of it as:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zirSxWbqEnI)
I disagree. I used to go back to dipping when I felt fat. I do not subscribe to the theory of not depriving yourself of anything. If you didn't eat Big Macs before, don't do it now. With that being said almost everyone puts on a little weight even people like me who are die hard gym rats. it is inevitable and ultimately, in moderation, a little fat is better than a little tobacco. however make sure you are comfortable in your own skin or else you could be a vain mother fucker like me and just say fuck it i'd rather be in shape. all i am saying is be careful.
Yeah, ask Glenn where to buy those fun house mirrors that make you look thin in the waist and thick in the chest.....helps with his vanity.....
Course, if you're short like me, it just makes you look like you have a fat head....
LMAO. I am short too and have small penis but I have gotten over it.
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well first of all I am a vegetarian, so eating TOO MUCH is bad...
I rode my bike about 12 miles today though, which is more than I normally would, and I think with all of the water I'm doing and the sweating I'm doing, my cravings are less than the last time I *tried* to quit, as opposed to quitting this time.
I am going to take a nap and then try to write some music and ride around sunset. I have the next few weeks off from touring and only have to do some graphic design, so I gotta keep myself busy.
Its fucking hard to be around dippers though - yesterday and today - just listening to them talk or seeing them dip, but I keep summing it up with all of the dumb shit the addiction makes you do... like walking around the video store last night my buddy had a wad of dip in and couldn't respond to anything i said except with grunts and eyeballs of fire for his mouth was full of skoal mint spit... it kinda reminded me of another good example of why i'm better off. riding with my uncle today i felt bad he kept going on about how he is goign to quit drinking smoking and chewing all at once when he is 40, which is next may, and he went on about how our grandfather smoked 4 packs a day and it hurt to lose him at 11.
As much as there is an urge to chew, there is an urgency in me to be healthy.
I don't smoke. I don't drink except on occasion. I don't do other drugs. I quit all of these things at the end of 2008, so I will be able to put I don't do nicotine on the list.
by the end of these 100 days I want to be able to ride my bike 20-40 miles in a trip.
I think if i pair not chewing with something like building my body, and i use my body and change my mindset at the same time about a few things, it will all flow easier. any thoughts or advice?
and fuck getting fat again I am still chunky and I lost 100 pounds the last 2 years. I refuse to get fat again, so I will do healthy things.
'Crazy'
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Its fucking hard to be around dippers though - yesterday and today - just listening to them talk or seeing them dip, but I keep summing it up with all of the dumb shit the addiction makes you do... like walking around the video store last night my buddy had a wad of dip in and couldn't respond to anything i said except with grunts and eyeballs of fire for his mouth was full of skoal mint spit...
Avoid them if you must, but soon, in the not too distant future, this will disgust you.....to the point of dry heaves.
Or was that me?
And yes..you are crazy, thats what led you here.
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'bang head'
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'bang head'
It gets soooooooooo much better, hang in there
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I'm really concerned I'm still going to see some kind of bad effects. i've been reading about cancers and stuff today... what should i look for ?
ben
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I'm really concerned I'm still going to see some kind of bad effects. i've been reading about cancers and stuff today... what should i look for ?
ben
at this point in time whatever is gonna happen will happen but being quit will not allow anymore risk to get in. You 100% NEED to see a dentist within your first 30 days. Tell him all about your dipping and your quitting. He (or a hot she) will give you a once over.
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i was at the dentist day one i told her what was up, she didn't seem concerned, but i will be going back in a few days too... so i will talk to her more..
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Day 3 - on a roll.
'bang head'
I'm not going to lie, the evening last night and on into this morning have been a cloudy time. I would have caved if it wasn't reading countless things on this site.
I would have caved if I wasn't being blatantly honest to my friends about what I'm doing.
I've been using mint leaf snuff its not as good but it makes you kinda feel satisfied... I think I may switch to sunflower seeds in a few days when my mouth isn't as sensitive..
Has anyone else had calcium stones from their tonsils from dipping? my uncle gets them and I have them, but i noticed since i woke up a lot of them are coming out in little pieces. I think its just part of the healing.
all of the ridges in my gums have finally went away overall, and the little canker sore that i was worried about is healing over...
I didn't realize how sore my tongue was til i quit, but I think its healing too.. I remember this process from the last time when i failed.. I feel like my mouth actually got more sore as it was healing.
Today is going to be a challenging day to me. I'm going to be driving a lot, which is when I like to dip, but I am heading to a hardcore show to see Product of Waste, This is Hell, and Venia, and all my friends from town are going to be there, so I know they will have my back. I just gotta maintain my positivity for them and for rox.
here we go.
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Day 3 - on a roll.
'bang head'
I'm not going to lie, the evening last night and on into this morning have been a cloudy time. I would have caved if it wasn't reading countless things on this site.
I would have caved if I wasn't being blatantly honest to my friends about what I'm doing.
I've been using mint leaf snuff its not as good but it makes you kinda feel satisfied... I think I may switch to sunflower seeds in a few days when my mouth isn't as sensitive..
Has anyone else had calcium stones from their tonsils from dipping? my uncle gets them and I have them, but i noticed since i woke up a lot of them are coming out in little pieces. I think its just part of the healing.
all of the ridges in my gums have finally went away overall, and the little canker sore that i was worried about is healing over...
I didn't realize how sore my tongue was til i quit, but I think its healing too.. I remember this process from the last time when i failed.. I feel like my mouth actually got more sore as it was healing.
Today is going to be a challenging day to me. I'm going to be driving a lot, which is when I like to dip, but I am heading to a hardcore show to see Product of Waste, This is Hell, and Venia, and all my friends from town are going to be there, so I know they will have my back. I just gotta maintain my positivity for them and for rox.
here we go.
Not to mention, you need to stay strong for YOU. After all, this is YOUR quit...right?
Good job with the fake...doing what you have to do to stay quit...
-
trust me, i've tried for the wrong reasons before. Roxanne was even getting comfortable with me doing it, she didn't think i *could* quit anymore.
I could keep dipping and no one would say anythign except once in a while..
but it was really just me knowing it was going to kill me every time i took a dip and me wanting to feel like i can be more active that changed my perspective.
so its definitely a quit for me. Just reading all the testimonials i read last night made me realize how much other people would be affected if i got sick.
ben
-
Give us a link to one of your songs and let us what you got.
-
Day 3 - on a roll.
'bang head'
I'm not going to lie, the evening last night and on into this morning have been a cloudy time. I would have caved if it wasn't reading countless things on this site.
I would have caved if I wasn't being blatantly honest to my friends about what I'm doing.
I've been using mint leaf snuff its not as good but it makes you kinda feel satisfied... I think I may switch to sunflower seeds in a few days when my mouth isn't as sensitive..
Has anyone else had calcium stones from their tonsils from dipping? my uncle gets them and I have them, but i noticed since i woke up a lot of them are coming out in little pieces. I think its just part of the healing.
all of the ridges in my gums have finally went away overall, and the little canker sore that i was worried about is healing over...
I didn't realize how sore my tongue was til i quit, but I think its healing too.. I remember this process from the last time when i failed.. I feel like my mouth actually got more sore as it was healing.
Today is going to be a challenging day to me. I'm going to be driving a lot, which is when I like to dip, but I am heading to a hardcore show to see Product of Waste, This is Hell, and Venia, and all my friends from town are going to be there, so I know they will have my back. I just gotta maintain my positivity for them and for rox.
here we go.
Your mouth will go through a lot of changes. It will take a while. I am on day 303 and I still have rough places and pockets where dip used to sit, but it is getting better. Give it time and it shall for you too.
-
my band is called Renae. We tour the country. right now we're on a writing break... here's a link to our myspace, which is probably the easiest way to hear us, or you can find us on mediafire i'm sure. http://www.myspace.com/renaemusic (http://www.myspace.com/renaemusic)http://www.myspace.com/renaemusic (http://www.myspace.com/renaemusic)
-
Day 3 - on a roll.
'bang head'
I'm not going to lie, the evening last night and on into this morning have been a cloudy time. I would have caved if it wasn't reading countless things on this site.
I would have caved if I wasn't being blatantly honest to my friends about what I'm doing.
I've been using mint leaf snuff its not as good but it makes you kinda feel satisfied... I think I may switch to sunflower seeds in a few days when my mouth isn't as sensitive..
Has anyone else had calcium stones from their tonsils from dipping? my uncle gets them and I have them, but i noticed since i woke up a lot of them are coming out in little pieces. I think its just part of the healing.
all of the ridges in my gums have finally went away overall, and the little canker sore that i was worried about is healing over...
I didn't realize how sore my tongue was til i quit, but I think its healing too.. I remember this process from the last time when i failed.. I feel like my mouth actually got more sore as it was healing.
Today is going to be a challenging day to me. I'm going to be driving a lot, which is when I like to dip, but I am heading to a hardcore show to see Product of Waste, This is Hell, and Venia, and all my friends from town are going to be there, so I know they will have my back. I just gotta maintain my positivity for them and for rox.
here we go.
Caving is not an option.
Enjoy.
-
Day 3 - on a roll.
'bang head'
I'm not going to lie, the evening last night and on into this morning have been a cloudy time. I would have caved if it wasn't reading countless things on this site.Â
I would have caved if I wasn't being blatantly honest to my friends about what I'm doing.Â
I've been using mint leaf snuff its not as good but it makes you kinda feel satisfied... I think I may switch to sunflower seeds in a few days when my mouth isn't as sensitive..
Has anyone else had calcium stones from their tonsils from dipping? my uncle gets them and I have them, but i noticed since i woke up a lot of them are coming out in little pieces. I think its just part of the healing.
all of the ridges in my gums have finally went away overall, and the little canker sore that i was worried about is healing over...
I didn't realize how sore my tongue was til i quit, but I think its healing too.. I remember this process from the last time when i failed.. I feel like my mouth actually got more sore as it was healing.
Today is going to be a challenging day to me. I'm going to be driving a lot, which is when I like to dip, but I am heading to a hardcore show to see Product of Waste, This is Hell, and Venia, and all my friends from town are going to be there, so I know they will have my back. I just gotta maintain my positivity for them and for rox.
here we go.
Caving is not an option.
Enjoy.
Benny,
Think thru what your temptations and triggers are going to be and then figure out in advance how to deal with it. Watch the booze. There is NO acceptable reason for you to cave. Maybe you skip the show if it puts you at risk. Whats more important , your life or a show. just sayin
sm
-
well first of all I am a vegetarian, so eating TOO MUCH is bad...
I rode my bike about 12 miles today though, which is more than I normally would, and I think with all of the water I'm doing and the sweating I'm doing, my cravings are less than the last time I *tried* to quit, as opposed to quitting this time.
I am going to take a nap and then try to write some music and ride around sunset. I have the next few weeks off from touring and only have to do some graphic design, so I gotta keep myself busy.
Its fucking hard to be around dippers though - yesterday and today - just listening to them talk or seeing them dip, but I keep summing it up with all of the dumb shit the addiction makes you do... like walking around the video store last night my buddy had a wad of dip in and couldn't respond to anything i said except with grunts and eyeballs of fire for his mouth was full of skoal mint spit... it kinda reminded me of another good example of why i'm better off. riding with my uncle today i felt bad he kept going on about how he is goign to quit drinking smoking and chewing all at once when he is 40, which is next may, and he went on about how our grandfather smoked 4 packs a day and it hurt to lose him at 11.
As much as there is an urge to chew, there is an urgency in me to be healthy.
I don't smoke. I don't drink except on occasion. I don't do other drugs. I quit all of these things at the end of 2008, so I will be able to put I don't do nicotine on the list.
by the end of these 100 days I want to be able to ride my bike 20-40 miles in a trip.
I think if i pair not chewing with something like building my body, and i use my body and change my mindset at the same time about a few things, it will all flow easier. any thoughts or advice?
and fuck getting fat again I am still chunky and I lost 100 pounds the last 2 years. I refuse to get fat again, so I will do healthy things.
'Crazy'
You'll always be my love and my best friend, even if you do put on a couple pounds. we'll stay healthy together. try that daily log of food habits thing i told you about. i look forward to bike rides and dinner/sleep over with you on friday. besides quitting, i'm also very proud of you for giving up factory farmed meat and junk food. you're a good person and a smart guy. and you listen to my opinions and care about what i care about. your life honestly is pretty good right now, you've got good friends, and you've got me by the balls too, so try to push the cravings and such out of your mind. try to meditate tonight and get good sleep.
wish you were here.
(shortcake)
-
'qt' Day 4 has started.
the show was really good for me... I got to vent some frustrations and such, and I dipped my mint stuff instead on the way up to the show.. but on the way home for some reason i didn't even crave or anything. I think it was hitting the end of day 3 which i was dreading... I feel like its going to get a little easier each day.
thanks to you guys for the support, and rox, thanks for making an account on here, i think its cool that you care this much.
here's a question: when i go on tour and I only have access to the internet on my junky phone, how am I going to post roll?
benny
-
oops
-
well first of all I am a vegetarian, so eating TOO MUCH is bad...Â
I rode my bike about 12 miles today though, which is more than I normally would, and I think with all of the water I'm doing and the sweating I'm doing, my cravings are less than the last time I *tried* to quit, as opposed to quitting this time.
I am going to take a nap and then try to write some music and ride around sunset. I have the next few weeks off from touring and only have to do some graphic design, so I gotta keep myself busy.
Its fucking hard to be around dippers though - yesterday and today - just listening to them talk or seeing them dip, but I keep summing it up with all of the dumb shit the addiction makes you do... like walking around the video store last night my buddy had a wad of dip in and couldn't respond to anything i said except with grunts and eyeballs of fire for his mouth was full of skoal mint spit... it kinda reminded me of another good example of why i'm better off. riding with my uncle today i felt bad he kept going on about how he is goign to quit drinking smoking and chewing all at once when he is 40, which is next may, and he went on about how our grandfather smoked 4 packs a day and it hurt to lose him at 11.
As much as there is an urge to chew, there is an urgency in me to be healthy.
I don't smoke. I don't drink except on occasion. I don't do other drugs. I quit all of these things at the end of 2008, so I will be able to put I don't do nicotine on the list.
by the end of these 100 days I want to be able to ride my bike 20-40 miles in a trip.
I think if i pair not chewing with something like building my body, and i use my body and change my mindset at the same time about a few things, it will all flow easier. any thoughts or advice?
and fuck getting fat again I am still chunky and I lost 100 pounds the last 2 years. I refuse to get fat again, so I will do healthy things.
'Crazy'
You'll always be my love and my best friend, even if you do put on a couple pounds. we'll stay healthy together. try that daily log of food habits thing i told you about. i look forward to bike rides and dinner/sleep over with you on friday. besides quitting, i'm also very proud of you for giving up factory farmed meat and junk food. you're a good person and a smart guy. and you listen to my opinions and care about what i care about. your life honestly is pretty good right now, you've got good friends, and you've got me by the balls too, so try to push the cravings and such out of your mind. try to meditate tonight and get good sleep.
wish you were here.
(shortcake)
Just curious, are you two fucking?
-
benny has his "GF" by the balls?
Interesting......
'Popcorn'
-
benny has his "GF" by the balls?
Interesting......
'Popcorn'
shit, I missed that. Are they boyfriends? Someone needs to get greg40 in here to verify.
-
here's a question: when i go on tour and I only have access to the internet on my junky phone, how am I going to post roll?
Get a brother's number... call, text, passenger pigeon, smoke signals, etc.
Roll is PARAMOUNT to your success. Just as dipping was your habit, make posting your habit. By any means necessary.
-
'qt' Day 4 has started.
the show was really good for me... I got to vent some frustrations and such, and I dipped my mint stuff instead on the way up to the show.. but on the way home for some reason i didn't even crave or anything. I think it was hitting the end of day 3 which i was dreading... I feel like its going to get a little easier each day.
thanks to you guys for the support, and rox, thanks for making an account on here, i think its cool that you care this much.
here's a question: when i go on tour and I only have access to the internet on my junky phone, how am I going to post roll?
benny
I agree. I thinks it's awesome you have someone who loves you enough to make an account here at KTC so she can support you. We all could use a lot more Roxy's in our life.
I like reading your stuff in here. I can tell it's heartfelt. Maybe it's because you are a song writer but you do a nice job sharing you experiences. I don't know if I could have done this so early in my quit.
It might feel like it's going to get easier but you are still in for some REALLY shitty days bro. They will hit you like a freight train. Especially because the day before was so easy. I hated 'THE VOID" man. It happened for me around Day 50. Missing the shit out of the associations I had built up. For me it was sports. I loved watch sports and dipping. When I quit, I began to hate sports because I couldn't dip anymore and there was a huge void in my life. It goes away and things do get easier.
I'm proud of you man. Keep up the fight. You are absolutely stronger than any addiction. I can tell you have the mental make-up to win this battle.
-
benny has his "GF" by the balls?
Interesting......
'Popcorn'
shit, I missed that. Are they boyfriends? Someone needs to get greg40 in here to verify.
TIFFS !!
'crackup' 'crackup'
-
benny has his "GF" by the balls?
Interesting......
'Popcorn'
shit, I missed that. Are they boyfriends? Someone needs to get greg40 in here to verify.
TIFFS !!
'crackup' 'crackup'
Those punk rock dudes must be some crazy, into everything mofos.
-
haha! i love waking up to this shit!
' 'Popcorn'
'loot01'
-
For me it was sports. I loved watch sports and dipping. When I quit, I began to hate sports because I couldn't dip anymore and there was a huge void in my life. It goes away and things do get easier.
This is exactly what I'm worried about when I start going on tour again and when my dudes are dipping around me. I'm trying to get the two that do to check out this site for the better. i even posted about this on my tumblr (bennys.tumblr.com)
I can't let all of these associations i have with it affect the things I love so much, its just going to be really hard.
I know they say weed doesn't have a chemical dependence but I was psychologically addicted to it for a minute.. I got over it by throwing the people out of my life that pushed it on me, or the fake 'friends' that came with the culture.. andn i leaned on the hardcore scene in my local community because a lot of the kinds, even if they are 5-8 years younger than me, are sober or at least smart.
I can't just throw the dippers out of my life, so how do I get them to not do it around me or not push it on me? especially when I'm stuck ina van with 3 guys 2 of which dip?
they have talked about quitting as if they weren't addicted and I was the one that had the addiction... should I challenge them?
oh well.. roll is my new addiction. ;) maybe they will see the change in me and want to change. I kinda got one of them into this accidentally, but the other one i tried to talk out of doing this for a long time. the snus is what hooked him in. he was doing that before joining the band. I would tell him 'no man you don't want to mess with this once you start you really can't quit' one day he just started buying cans of skoal edge.. that was that.
btw you think its bad when you buy a can of dip and it breaks the bank.. try living in a van with two other dippers. we were pretty communistic with our cans that would suck to spend upwards of 4-5 dollars on the northern side of the country and watch it be devastated in an afternoon by 3 jonesed mofos.
or try trying to find it in some places - sheesh.
I'm just happy to be done. I feel like normalcy is completely attainable once again.
no more opening used dip bottles in the botton of the van hoping it is not someone else's shit mouth fragrance.. no more frantic pit stops when i've been out an hour.
now I can spend my money on something better - avacados.
i like ranting. it keeps my mind occupied. maybe i'll cut my grass and bike ride some today.
Ben
-
going to the doctor at 2:30 to give my mouth a once over. I've got a little bit of a strange shaping going on in my lower jaw behind my teeth where my tongue sits. i just want some reassurance. I'll probably ask to come back and double check with them in a month.
I feel good about seeing a doc right now because I really feel quit for the first time ever. its not me tlaking myself into it. I hate that shit. with my whole heart, i really fucking hate that shit.
-
benny has his "GF" by the balls?
Interesting......
'Popcorn'
shit, I missed that. Are they boyfriends? Someone needs to get greg40 in here to verify.
TIFFS !!
'crackup' 'crackup'
Those punk rock dudes must be some crazy, into everything mofos.
benny, do you have a mullet?
-
hell no i'm a bald man by choice ;)
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs142.snc4/36445_10150233341715121_661335120_13342038_7701010_n.jpg)
-
hell no i'm a bald man by choice ;)
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs142.snc4/36445_10150233341715121_661335120_13342038_7701010_n.jpg)
where can we hear your music?
-
where can we hear your music?
We're called Renae (http://www.myspace.com/renaemusic)
named after my mom who died of cancer in fact.
-
The last few days have been a pain in the ass. I dunno, I got to hang with the lady and I feel like even though I wasn't probably bad, I was probably a handful for her. Plus I almost caved today.. I am glad I didn't. A good buddy of mine called me and said he quit dipping this evening and I feel like I wouldn't have been very good support had I caved.
I need to ride my bike tomorrow. Its long overdue.
Benny
-
Hello KTC friends, its beena little while since I have been on here.
somewhere around 49 days I caved. I know, I will get the harsh treatment for this and that's fair, but I kinda lost my marbles for a little while the last month or so.
Well, I'm on some solid ground again and my heart is healed up a lot and I realized I am free, and I quit for me over the summer. I am on tour right now and I just woke up today and knew I was ready to begin this again and actually achieve HOF status.
Some things that I would like to share that have been horrible since the relapse is that i realized i'm a human
okay.. that's true, actually, i was going to say that thanks to all of the support from you gys i knew how to support my 50 year old father into quitting cigarettes, using many of the same encouragement techniques, he has been quit for 40 days now today.. imagine how shameful I felt when I quit on him a few weeks into his quit.
I am certain to get hell from this, but now once did I lie on here, I kept every day that I posted 100%. It is my backslide and I really regret it. I want to thank Seth too because he kept me accountable for the last week before i budged.... but ultimately it was my choice.
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
Begin the flaming.
I don't even know where to post my commitment to day two.
-
Hello KTC friends, its beena little while since I have been on here.
somewhere around 49 days I caved. I know, I will get the harsh treatment for this and that's fair, but I kinda lost my marbles for a little while the last month or so.
Well, I'm on some solid ground again and my heart is healed up a lot and I realized I am free, and I quit for me over the summer. I am on tour right now and I just woke up today and knew I was ready to begin this again and actually achieve HOF status.
Some things that I would like to share that have been horrible since the relapse is that i realized i'm a human
okay.. that's true, actually, i was going to say that thanks to all of the support from you gys i knew how to support my 50 year old father into quitting cigarettes, using many of the same encouragement techniques, he has been quit for 40 days now today.. imagine how shameful I felt when I quit on him a few weeks into his quit.
I am certain to get hell from this, but now once did I lie on here, I kept every day that I posted 100%. It is my backslide and I really regret it. I want to thank Seth too because he kept me accountable for the last week before i budged.... but ultimately it was my choice.
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
Begin the flaming.
I don't even know where to post my commitment to day two.
I'm just a newbie so all I'll say is welcome back and good luck.
I'll let the Vets handle ripping you to shreds......
Brian
-
OCTOBER KICKS ASS!
Cans Of Cope and Kodiak Suck
Monday, 12 July, 2010
October 2010 Roll Call
====================================================
October kick ass quitters
10ninety6- Day 8. One week down. I like turtles.
saycheese - Day 18
asukep - Day 0+ a couple hours. going to sleep, sure be back tomorrow. hope i did this right.
Steve1 - Day 3 ...Thanks Show
Troub454--day7
Smitty - Day 13
Stephen43 - Day 16
KBman- Day 3
Merch - Day 7
cando; 7
Bennythekid: Day one - feeling strong
aabye1 - Day 12
SO WHAT IS DIFFERENT THIS TIME BENNY? What will you do differently?
MOA
-
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
You don't regret going back and fingerbanging the tin again? But yet you come back asking for forgiveness because apparently you all of a sudden realized you were human?
First off, if you give a damn about quitting then you should regret getting sucked back in. In fact you should be way past me with number of days but now you're back throwing up a day 1. Like MOA asks, what is different this time? But based on your not regretting it statement I see this as another cave getting ready to happen. I hope not and I hope that you will prove me wrong.
Second, I'm not a rocket scientist or doctor or any kind of genetic engineer, but I can assure you that you are human. In fact I can guarantee that everyone that posts here is human. I highly doubt we have any aliens or cats and dogs posting on KTC about their addiction to Copenhagen. We are all fragile human beings and we are here because we are no longer going to poison ourselves with the nic bitch's panty droppings.
Quit and stay quit this time damn it!
Dave
-
Hello KTC friends, its beena little while since I have been on here.
somewhere around 49 days I caved. I know, I will get the harsh treatment for this and that's fair, but I kinda lost my marbles for a little while the last month or so.
Well, I'm on some solid ground again and my heart is healed up a lot and I realized I am free, and I quit for me over the summer. I am on tour right now and I just woke up today and knew I was ready to begin this again and actually achieve HOF status.
Some things that I would like to share that have been horrible since the relapse is that i realized i'm a human
okay.. that's true, actually, i was going to say that thanks to all of the support from you gys i knew how to support my 50 year old father into quitting cigarettes, using many of the same encouragement techniques, he has been quit for 40 days now today.. imagine how shameful I felt when I quit on him a few weeks into his quit.
I am certain to get hell from this, but now once did I lie on here, I kept every day that I posted 100%. It is my backslide and I really regret it. I want to thank Seth too because he kept me accountable for the last week before i budged.... but ultimately it was my choice.
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
Begin the flaming.
I don't even know where to post my commitment to day two.
Hey Benny - I'm still kicking in your former quit group.
You post roll in December now, though they're likely closing up soon. You were doing so well. You had brothers (not me, apparently) to be accountable to, you had brothers texting and calling, you were active on this site. You had everything this site has to offer, you were using it, and then you caved. That's probably the scariest kind of cave to new quitters. And people like me, who rely on this site and think it is helping tremendously.
Tell everybody why this site wasn't working for you. Tell everybody why the support you received and the outlet you had here stopped working.
Tell me when your band is coming to Atlanta, so I can kick you in the balls and then rock out. PM me if you like. You can have my number if you want it. You didn't ask the first time (and neither did I), but maybe this time around we can do it together. I'll have your back, but let everybody learn something from your frightening cave.
-
I in December 2010 Quit Group (this is Day 12 for me). I don't think giving you shit for caving is productive. You fucked up, you are to blame and YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS!!! End of discussion.
The important thing is that you're back!!! I don't want to be an "enabler" by saying caving is okay, but yesterday's mistakes are history. Let it go, start over, take responsibility for actions (which you have), and COMMIT to your quit (sound like a slogan, huh?).
Only you know what is in your heart, but if you are genuinely trying to quit, you are welcome in our December 2010 quit group...at least in my opinion, anyway. Contact me if you need support. Like I said, I'm just 12 days in, but I am determined not to cave after a few weeks. I won't do it. And neither will you.
You fucked up, it is over, the most important thing is what you do (or don't do) from this point forward.
You can do it, brotha.
-
Hello KTC friends, its beena little while since I have been on here.
somewhere around 49 days I caved. I know, I will get the harsh treatment for this and that's fair, but I kinda lost my marbles for a little while the last month or so.
Well, I'm on some solid ground again and my heart is healed up a lot and I realized I am free, and I quit for me over the summer. I am on tour right now and I just woke up today and knew I was ready to begin this again and actually achieve HOF status.
Some things that I would like to share that have been horrible since the relapse is that i realized i'm a human
okay.. that's true, actually, i was going to say that thanks to all of the support from you gys i knew how to support my 50 year old father into quitting cigarettes, using many of the same encouragement techniques, he has been quit for 40 days now today.. imagine how shameful I felt when I quit on him a few weeks into his quit.
I am certain to get hell from this, but now once did I lie on here, I kept every day that I posted 100%. It is my backslide and I really regret it. I want to thank Seth too because he kept me accountable for the last week before i budged.... but ultimately it was my choice.
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
Begin the flaming.
I don't even know where to post my commitment to day two.
Ok cockgobbler, The 1st thing you do is walk your pussy caving pansy ass over to Oct and tell them what you did. Then you go to Dec(your new group) and tell them the same thing. Tell them your plan, and ask them to accept you.
-
Hello KTC friends, its beena little while since I have been on here.
somewhere around 49 days I caved. I know, I will get the harsh treatment for this and that's fair, but I kinda lost my marbles for a little while the last month or so.
Well, I'm on some solid ground again and my heart is healed up a lot and I realized I am free, and I quit for me over the summer. I am on tour right now and I just woke up today and knew I was ready to begin this again and actually achieve HOF status.
Some things that I would like to share that have been horrible since the relapse is that i realized i'm a human
okay.. that's true, actually, i was going to say that thanks to all of the support from you gys i knew how to support my 50 year old father into quitting cigarettes, using many of the same encouragement techniques, he has been quit for 40 days now today.. imagine how shameful I felt when I quit on him a few weeks into his quit.
I am certain to get hell from this, but now once did I lie on here, I kept every day that I posted 100%. It is my backslide and I really regret it. I want to thank Seth too because he kept me accountable for the last week before i budged.... but ultimately it was my choice.
I don't regret it, it was just what happened. I snapped, I was angry enough to do it without thought. I was spiteful enough to do it without care... and I am pledging to keep my head on clear. I have no one else to do this for but me anyways.
Begin the flaming.
I don't even know where to post my commitment to day two.
First off, change your fucking quit date in your signature.
Wait, maybe keep it in there and put first try.
Post up, stay quit.
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I'm with CMAY-Tell the group where/why/how you fell to the urge. Thats needed info to have to see where the support broke down, if it did.
I'm not gonna bust your balls, I'm a noob in December 2010, but hang tough and don't put the shit in your lip. ever.
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I regretted caving every day honestly, but I don't regret it now because it taught me a lot about how easy I can allow myself to slip up. My dad is in the 40s range in quitting smoking and we talkeda bout how its kind of a hard time because you almost forget how bad it was when you are doing so well.
yes, i will be in georgia 10/17 Fayetteville, GA @ The 11th Hour Venue
we're doing this tour with Venia to raise money for world hunger. info here http://renaemusic.tumblr.com/ (http://renaemusic.tumblr.com/)
i'm sorry i came in with attitude, i think i was expecting really harsh measures and it was late.
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Two things dipshit...
1. Don't whine about no one being there for you or no one noticing you missing, are you really such an attention whore, or so self-conscious that you really need people to notice you?
2. Any reason you created a new "Intro"? You get one intro and you own it for life... you fuck up, it stays with you... but no calling a "do over" and making a new one.
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Benny the Kid,
Don't listen to any of these assholes. I was in your shoes at one time this year and came back to this website after caving. They all gave me shit, just like they are doing to you right now. For some reason they think its going to help you, but I really think it just makes themselves feel better. Its quite pathetic. Just do it a day at a time. Welcome back and if you need to talk message me.
Greg
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Benny the Kid,
Don't listen to any of these assholes. I was in your shoes at one time this year and came back to this website after caving. They all gave me shit, just like they are doing to you right now. For some reason they think its going to help you, but I really think it just makes themselves feel better. Its quite pathetic. Just do it a day at a time. Welcome back and if you need to talk message me.
Greg
If you are looking for back rubs and ball coddling.....you're in the wrong spot.
Quitting isn't easy, we sure as hell are not going to make caving easy either. Some people are going to bust your balls, others will dust you off and get you on your feet. That's what makes this place work, if you let it.
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I have not logged into this site for a few seasons now. I failed myself and I find myself desperately addicted to the point where I gave up even trying to quit tobacco for a while.
there is no excuse only a complete feeling of failure and confusion as to how.
I feel like shit about it and I would like to plan a quit that won't fail.
I'm just lost as to where to start after the fail and fail and fail that I've had.
Ben
edit: just to note, even stepping back here means a lot towards the right direction. I haven't dipped since midnight and its 2. I have no dip to chew and I have decided that I am not going to chew today at all. today is the 16th of november and I am tired of fighting with myself about something I know I want and need to do.
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Ay man good choice. We will have you in our feb '12 group. You gotta come clean with everyone though.
Post why you fucked up
and what you will do different
And keep your promise next time
You already know the drill.
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where should I post this at?
The reason I fucked up is because I quit for me but didn't keep that conviction. over time that conviction to quit was more for others and for my image. that didn't last very long and when it came down to the breakdown that started me back up on it I didn't hold myself accountable.
I quit counting my days and I quit posting roll and it was a matter of time before I quit caring about all of the progress I had made.
A lot has happened since I started again. Last year this time my band split and i was in college for the first time in six years. I got a job as a tattoo apprentice in april and its a very stressful job in many ways. I have half tried quitting several times only to allow the stress and jokes that come with the territory of being an apprentice to overcome and cause my anxiety from the quit to get the best of me.
My plan at this time is to continue looking at each day as a short term goal and I want to use the roll call every day because it really was one of the few things that helped.
cold turkey is a hard thing to do for me, but I know it is the only way that actually works.
I hope I can get the forgiveness of those I let down here. I know I can do this, and at this point there is nothing that has driven me to this decision except myself.
when I was sitting thinking about this a few weeks ago I had resigned the voice inside reasoning with me to the backburner because I didn't believe I could face the withdrawal, but I know I need to do this once and for all so that its not something I have to drag on into my career or my future private life.
thanks for the kindness, I expected something else, and by all means deserve it. when can I post day one?
Ben
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when can I post day one?
i sugjest when you got rid a all your nic and your reddy to keep your word for the day. if thats today then go for it. im not gonna rip you a new one here. i save that for fuckwads what post up roll then cave. theres plenty a other guys what mite want a peace a you. like your old quit groop.
i just wanna point out to all the noobs a round here this is classic fail 101. you get all comfy in your quit and drift off forgetin bout postin up roll. i garrenty if you post up roll evry day and keep your word you will be quit. if you dont... well results may very.
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when can I post day one?
i sugjest when you got rid a all your nic and your reddy to keep your word for the day. if thats today then go for it. im not gonna rip you a new one here. i save that for fuckwads what post up roll then cave. theres plenty a other guys what mite want a peace a you. like your old quit groop.
i just wanna point out to all the noobs a round here this is classic fail 101. you get all comfy in your quit and drift off forgetin bout postin up roll. i garrenty if you post up roll evry day and keep your word you will be quit. if you dont... well results may very.
Post a day 1 in Feb 2012. Explain why you are there. Post day 1 in your old group. Explain.
You then need to post every day after. You can do this. Quit 1 day at a time. You have my help if you need it.
"Cavers find a way to cave, quitters find a way to quit" ~ 30
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when can I post day one?
i sugjest when you got rid a all your nic and your reddy to keep your word for the day. if thats today then go for it. im not gonna rip you a new one here. i save that for fuckwads what post up roll then cave. theres plenty a other guys what mite want a peace a you. like your old quit groop.
i just wanna point out to all the noobs a round here this is classic fail 101. you get all comfy in your quit and drift off forgetin bout postin up roll. i garrenty if you post up roll evry day and keep your word you will be quit. if you dont... well results may very.
Fucking A.
Syndrome has a way with misspelled words.
Write that shit down somewhere.
Post roll every day.
Never forget what you are...an addict.
It's up to you Benny.
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when can I post day one?
i sugjest when you got rid a all your nic and your reddy to keep your word for the day. if thats today then go for it. im not gonna rip you a new one here. i save that for fuckwads what post up roll then cave. theres plenty a other guys what mite want a peace a you. like your old quit groop.
i just wanna point out to all the noobs a round here this is classic fail 101. you get all comfy in your quit and drift off forgetin bout postin up roll. i garrenty if you post up roll evry day and keep your word you will be quit. if you dont... well results may very.
Fucking A.
Syndrome has a way with misspelled words.
Write that shit down somewhere.
Post roll every day.
Never forget what you are...an addict.
It's up to you Benny.
Wow Benny, more hope and no results et. Please explain why anyone should take you seriously? How do you plan on proving yourself, hoping or I guess cold turkey is the only way? Do you even want to quit?
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You must want this more than anything else in your life right now.
Period.
What are you willing to do to stay quit?
There is only one correct answer and I don't thing you know what that is.
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Been gone a while. Who am I to say shit. But the subject line for this intro had me hopeful. "Help." That says it all doesn't it? I thought it would be some noob trying to figure out the path. But no - it's a vet. When I read "A lot has happened since I started again..." frankly, I stopped reading.
A lot has happened since I quit. A lot happened before I quit, too. A lot's gonna happen for the rest of my life. There's no excuse for failure. Don't make excuses. Understand where you weakness came from and address it. It's not because "a lot has happened" - it's because you thought you had it licked. You thought you could handle one can without worrying about it. Your weakness was your overconfidence. I think you knew you were going to cave even while you were committing to your quit through roll.
What's different this time? Indeed. What will be different? You never broke your word. You just stopped posting - which makes it easier. You need to man up and see your quit through to the end. And the end is when you die - hopefully at a ripe old age. This isn't a parlor trick. There's no "100 days and I'm free" routine. You're in, then you're in all the way.
But who the fuck and I to say anything. Just another addict with an opinion. I hope your quit holds this time Benny. I'm with Klark on this one though. Why should we believe in you?
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Been gone a while. Who am I to say shit. But the subject line for this intro had me hopeful. "Help." That says it all doesn't it? I thought it would be some noob trying to figure out the path. But no - it's a vet. When I read "A lot has happened since I started again..." frankly, I stopped reading.
A lot has happened since I quit. A lot happened before I quit, too. A lot's gonna happen for the rest of my life. There's no excuse for failure. Don't make excuses. Understand where you weakness came from and address it. It's not because "a lot has happened" - it's because you thought you had it licked. You thought you could handle one can without worrying about it. Your weakness was your overconfidence. I think you knew you were going to cave even while you were committing to your quit through roll.
What's different this time? Indeed. What will be different? You never broke your word. You just stopped posting - which makes it easier. You need to man up and see your quit through to the end. And the end is when you die - hopefully at a ripe old age. This isn't a parlor trick. There's no "100 days and I'm free" routine. You're in, then you're in all the way.
But who the fuck and I to say anything. Just another addict with an opinion. I hope your quit holds this time Benny. I'm with Klark on this one though. Why should we believe in you?
I read this post twice it was so good.
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Okay little bunny...I'm not sure where your head is at. It doesn't inspire me to "Occupy UST" and I think a few weeks of Souliman not showering and living under some UST exec's desk would send a message.
I like quitters. I have had the good fortune of meeting a few of them and I can tell you they all have a common trait: when you look them in the eye, they have purpose. Their character flows without constraint. They know what they want. This is what is on the other side waiting for you. But its self fulfilling. You have to want that to be that. That's how it works. So get that ass off the proverbial addict couch and part the quit sea brother. Be bold.
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I'm just lost as to where to start after the fail and fail and fail that I've had.
You start by not failing again!
Seriously, put your big boy pants on and quit fucking dipping man. Quit being such a pussy and get on with your life. We did it, why can't you?
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I took yesterday pretty hard, today I am taking a little bit better. I have begunforming a plan and that plan involves a good friend of mine who is a sometimes dipper (seems not to have a problem never doing it)
Brad used to play bass in my band and is my best friend and he has pledged to quit with me. WHether he smokes or whatever he decides to do, which is his perogative, he has told me he will not dip because he wants to see me succeed.
If I feel the need to dip I have two people to call lined up, one being him, and one being my sister. They have both been there for me through way harder things and they know if I call them I am on my last leg.
I am not sure what to do different this time other than just stay fucking quit and stay posting on this forum. I know it really helps me to post roll every day so that is something I will be doing, although I had considered not posting here anymore after the reception I got (which i deserve)
YOu guys can't quit for me, I have to quit for me. BUT I do appreciate the response and the place to put my word.
I will also say I have don't think I've posted once that I would quit for the day without actually quitting for the day. I just quit posting and caved after that.
so that is a thing I will be doing differently.
Peace.
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just stay fucking quit and stay posting on this forum.
That is the formula...1 day at a time. Hard but simple.
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just stay fucking quit and stay posting on this forum.
That is the formula...1 day at a time. Hard but simple.
All there is to it. Just stay fucking quit.
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I am pissed today.
at myself for going through this again.
at being reminded of how people died before they were time.
disappointed in my lack of self respect and that's another reason i am quit today.
day three.
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I am pissed today.
at myself for going through this again.
at being reminded of how people died before they were time.
disappointed in my lack of self respect and that's another reason i am quit today.
day three.
and this is the kind of shit you need to remember the next time you are headed back to the can. You should read your own words...question is, will you?
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I took yesterday pretty hard, today I am taking a little bit better. I have begunforming a plan and that plan involves a good friend of mine who is a sometimes dipper (seems not to have a problem never doing it)
Brad used to play bass in my band and is my best friend and he has pledged to quit with me. WHether he smokes or whatever he decides to do, which is his perogative, he has told me he will not dip because he wants to see me succeed.
don't hitch your quit train to an engine that's you're not 1000% confident in. if brad has a weak moment, your quit is fucked with your current plan.
you need to rely on YOU. sure, have support; have numbers to call. but don't quit "with" someone. i am quit for me. when my friend caved, i cared personally, but my quit didn't give a shit. he's back on the wagon, and i'm happy about that, but my quit really still doesn't give a shit.
don't just post roll in feb. you have more to offer than just that. you can be their guide. hell, you've been through the shit enough times to know what's coming. you know the pitfalls. get VOCAL and be a leader. trust me, the more you post and offer advice, support, and wisdom, the less likely you'll cave. no one likes being a hypocrite... get to know your new quit brothers. call them. text them. tough to shit all over FRIENDS and not just usernames/avatars.
right there is a better fucking plan than hitching your wagon to someone who's still going to be using nicotine and a sister who loves you but has NO FUCKING CLUE what quitting dip is like.
buy in. drink deep of the koolaid. get invested.
stay quit.
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today is day six.
my mouth is still very sore, my mind is still kind of cloudy, and i've been eating a shit ton of candy. I don't really want fake chew or anything, i want my lip to get used to not having a pocket between it and the gums, and for it to heal.
I am so fucking thankful for this site being here, even being hard on me and for continuing to be.
I hung out with Brad last night for the first time since we talked about it and I was pleased to find out he was quit still. Even if he doesn't stay quit he knows where I am and can respect where I am. That is a nice feeling. I don't have any friends who will pressure me anymore, and I definitely never want to go through another week like this again.
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I definitely never want to go through another week like this again.
This is a good thing. Don't forget this feeling. Your body and mind are telling you they are healing.
Keep fighting. Persevere. Your quitter balls are going to drop once you get on the other side of this.
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Add some aloe vera gel to your tooth brush when you scrub your nasty little fangs. It will help heal your mouth.
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Add some aloe vera gel to your tooth brush when you scrub your nasty little fangs. It will help heal your mouth.
'na na' 'crackup'
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i feel like this quit has made me think about a lot of things in my life.
what i want to do. where i want to go. why. etc
day 8 going great.
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Add some aloe vera gel to your tooth brush when you scrub your nasty little fangs. It will help heal your mouth.
'na na' 'crackup'
wtf you laughing at Dipp? Man that stuff is the shiznit for trench mouth. try it man, you'll see. 'na na'
Is it just me or does benny seem to be looking for love from the Shawshank Sisters?