KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: bbk on June 26, 2017, 12:37:00 AM
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I apologize for the long post if such things are frowned upon, but I want/have to quit and am looking for some advice as well as needing to explain this part of my life to someone.....
When I was 17 my friends got a hold of a can of skoal somehow. One Sunday while playing pool the can was produced and offered to everyone. I passed, mainly because I had a date that night and there was no way I was going to risk not, well, (I'm sure everyone can remember their 17 year old hormones....) But my friends, they had a blast, and I figured the next time the can came out I would try it. The can never came back, my friends were more interested in smoking cigars. So one night with nothing else to do I stopped at a convenience store determined to try a can. The only type of dip that I could remember was Kodiak, and while I was technically not allowed to buy tobacco at 17, it was a different time and store clerks were required to ask for a birthday but not an ID.
Over the next 22 years that bear (damned or beloved depending on my mood and/or cravings) weaseled it's way into my life. At 1st it was Saturday night, then it was Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night. Then it was whenever I was by myself. There was a trucker that came into my work who always wore overalls; eventually he told me that he couldn't wear belts because when he was a boy he'd been taught the "correct" way to dip with a little pinch way in the back of your mouth so no one could see it while swallowing the juice and eventually he developed stomach issues. My logic was 'why didn't I think of that before?' After that I was almost never without Kodiak.
There was one serious attempt at quitting right before I got married. I cut back to the point where I had one dip at 9:30 every evening for an hour. I seriously wish I had been able to cut that out as well. I became a ninja dipper, with a small pinch in my check and a can in my sock I could go anywhere and do anything (I thought.) My wife obviously knows that I dip but she doesn't know how much or often, and my closest friends and co-workers do not know that I dip.
A few weeks ago with terrible tooth pain I went to the dentist. He told me what I already suspected, I needed a tooth extracted. After the procedure I was given a pamphlet that said I should not use any tobacco for 72 hours. I thought 'is this it? Am I really going to quit?' It was hell. I couldn't sit still. I was pacing back and forth in my office, I couldn't think. Finally I looked at the clock It had been 3 1/2 hours since my last dip on the way to the dentist office. I had to... I grabbed the can from my sock and took the smallest of pinches I left it in for 15 minutes determined that I would wait another 3 hours before giving in again. I knew I had to quit if I couldn't go an hour without my body needing a fix. I focused on cutting back going longer and longer between dips.
I have to go back to the dentist this week for him to insert a calcified bone fragment so my jaw will grow bone where the tooth was so that a pin and prosthetic tooth can be inserted. Last week I had to go in to get prescriptions and instructions. He told me everything he was going to do, and what might go wrong including what would happen if I smoked. Then he asked the dreaded question, "Do you use any other type of tobacco?"
When I told him I did he gave me the standard Dr. speech. Then he told me about working on other guys who used chewing tobacco and what had happened to them. He finished with "I've seen it too many times, if you chew after this the procedure will not work and you WILL wear dentures for the rest of your life. Thing is, He is a retired Navy dentist/oral surgeon who spent most of his career on a aircraft carrier. I have enough friends who spent time on navy ships to know how many guys dip on ships.
Props to him, he went over how I could deal with craving and helped me set up a plan to quit or at least get through the two weeks that I can't dip for this procedure. Part of that plan was me starting the patch today, which I did and it's been almost 13 hours since I had a dip... which two weeks ago would have put me through a wall.
Yesterday I was outside working in the yard. My wife was going to her cousins bridal shower and stopped to give me a good bye kiss. Usually in situations like that I offer some lame excuse 'I'm all sweaty' and give her a quick peck on the cheek because I had my ninja dip in my mouth and didn't want her to find out. Yesterday however, after realizing that I didn't have a dip in and it had been a really long time since I did, I turned around and gave her a full on long lingering kiss on the lips. She didn't expect that but her smile and the look she gave me... Now I really really want to quit.
Today I found this site which seems to suggest that cold turkey is the only/best way to go.So from one hopefully future quitter to many quitters what do I do? quit cold turkey, follow my Dr.'s advice and use the patch, or just use the patch for as long as he prescribed and then go cold turkey?
Thanks for reading
Brad
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I apologize for the long post if such things are frowned upon, but I want/have to quit and am looking for some advice as well as needing to explain this part of my life to someone.....
When I was 17 my friends got a hold of a can of skoal somehow. One Sunday while playing pool the can was produced and offered to everyone. I passed, mainly because I had a date that night and there was no way I was going to risk not, well, (I'm sure everyone can remember their 17 year old hormones....) But my friends, they had a blast, and I figured the next time the can came out I would try it. The can never came back, my friends were more interested in smoking cigars. So one night with nothing else to do I stopped at a convenience store determined to try a can. The only type of dip that I could remember was Kodiak, and while I was technically not allowed to buy tobacco at 17, it was a different time and store clerks were required to ask for a birthday but not an ID.
Over the next 22 years that bear (damned or beloved depending on my mood and/or cravings) weaseled it's way into my life. At 1st it was Saturday night, then it was Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night. Then it was whenever I was by myself. There was a trucker that came into my work who always wore overalls; eventually he told me that he couldn't wear belts because when he was a boy he'd been taught the "correct" way to dip with a little pinch way in the back of your mouth so no one could see it while swallowing the juice and eventually he developed stomach issues. My logic was 'why didn't I think of that before?' After that I was almost never without Kodiak.
There was one serious attempt at quitting right before I got married. I cut back to the point where I had one dip at 9:30 every evening for an hour. I seriously wish I had been able to cut that out as well. I became a ninja dipper, with a small pinch in my check and a can in my sock I could go anywhere and do anything (I thought.) My wife obviously knows that I dip but she doesn't know how much or often, and my closest friends and co-workers do not know that I dip.
A few weeks ago with terrible tooth pain I went to the dentist. He told me what I already suspected, I needed a tooth extracted. After the procedure I was given a pamphlet that said I should not use any tobacco for 72 hours. I thought 'is this it? Am I really going to quit?' It was hell. I couldn't sit still. I was pacing back and forth in my office, I couldn't think. Finally I looked at the clock It had been 3 1/2 hours since my last dip on the way to the dentist office. I had to... I grabbed the can from my sock and took the smallest of pinches I left it in for 15 minutes determined that I would wait another 3 hours before giving in again. I knew I had to quit if I couldn't go an hour without my body needing a fix. I focused on cutting back going longer and longer between dips.
I have to go back to the dentist this week for him to insert a calcified bone fragment so my jaw will grow bone where the tooth was so that a pin and prosthetic tooth can be inserted. Last week I had to go in to get prescriptions and instructions. He told me everything he was going to do, and what might go wrong including what would happen if I smoked. Then he asked the dreaded question, "Do you use any other type of tobacco?"
When I told him I did he gave me the standard Dr. speech. Then he told me about working on other guys who used chewing tobacco and what had happened to them. He finished with "I've seen it too many times, if you chew after this the procedure will not work and you WILL wear dentures for the rest of your life. Thing is, He is a retired Navy dentist/oral surgeon who spent most of his career on a aircraft carrier. I have enough friends who spent time on navy ships to know how many guys dip on ships.
Props to him, he went over how I could deal with craving and helped me set up a plan to quit or at least get through the two weeks that I can't dip for this procedure. Part of that plan was me starting the patch today, which I did and it's been almost 13 hours since I had a dip... which two weeks ago would have put me through a wall.
Yesterday I was outside working in the yard. My wife was going to her cousins bridal shower and stopped to give me a good bye kiss. Usually in situations like that I offer some lame excuse 'I'm all sweaty' and give her a quick peck on the cheek because I had my ninja dip in my mouth and didn't want her to find out. Yesterday however, after realizing that I didn't have a dip in and it had been a really long time since I did, I turned around and gave her a full on long lingering kiss on the lips. She didn't expect that but her smile and the look she gave me... Now I really really want to quit.
Today I found this site which seems to suggest that cold turkey is the only/best way to go.So from one hopefully future quitter to many quitters what do I do? quit cold turkey, follow my Dr.'s advice and use the patch, or just use the patch for as long as he prescribed and then go cold turkey?
Thanks for reading
Brad
Well, the patch will keep nicotine in your system for as long as you wear it. We here at KTC quit cold turkey and rely on our resolve and support from other quitters. YOU need to make the decision to quit. We can't quit for you, we can only give you a hard time for being a weakling.
I quit with you today - Stranger999 day 661
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I apologize for the long post if such things are frowned upon, but I want/have to quit and am looking for some advice as well as needing to explain this part of my life to someone.....
When I was 17 my friends got a hold of a can of skoal somehow. One Sunday while playing pool the can was produced and offered to everyone. I passed, mainly because I had a date that night and there was no way I was going to risk not, well, (I'm sure everyone can remember their 17 year old hormones....) But my friends, they had a blast, and I figured the next time the can came out I would try it. The can never came back, my friends were more interested in smoking cigars. So one night with nothing else to do I stopped at a convenience store determined to try a can. The only type of dip that I could remember was Kodiak, and while I was technically not allowed to buy tobacco at 17, it was a different time and store clerks were required to ask for a birthday but not an ID.
Over the next 22 years that bear (damned or beloved depending on my mood and/or cravings) weaseled it's way into my life. At 1st it was Saturday night, then it was Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night. Then it was whenever I was by myself. There was a trucker that came into my work who always wore overalls; eventually he told me that he couldn't wear belts because when he was a boy he'd been taught the "correct" way to dip with a little pinch way in the back of your mouth so no one could see it while swallowing the juice and eventually he developed stomach issues. My logic was 'why didn't I think of that before?' After that I was almost never without Kodiak.
There was one serious attempt at quitting right before I got married. I cut back to the point where I had one dip at 9:30 every evening for an hour. I seriously wish I had been able to cut that out as well. I became a ninja dipper, with a small pinch in my check and a can in my sock I could go anywhere and do anything (I thought.) My wife obviously knows that I dip but she doesn't know how much or often, and my closest friends and co-workers do not know that I dip.
A few weeks ago with terrible tooth pain I went to the dentist. He told me what I already suspected, I needed a tooth extracted. After the procedure I was given a pamphlet that said I should not use any tobacco for 72 hours. I thought 'is this it? Am I really going to quit?' It was hell. I couldn't sit still. I was pacing back and forth in my office, I couldn't think. Finally I looked at the clock It had been 3 1/2 hours since my last dip on the way to the dentist office. I had to... I grabbed the can from my sock and took the smallest of pinches I left it in for 15 minutes determined that I would wait another 3 hours before giving in again. I knew I had to quit if I couldn't go an hour without my body needing a fix. I focused on cutting back going longer and longer between dips.
I have to go back to the dentist this week for him to insert a calcified bone fragment so my jaw will grow bone where the tooth was so that a pin and prosthetic tooth can be inserted. Last week I had to go in to get prescriptions and instructions. He told me everything he was going to do, and what might go wrong including what would happen if I smoked. Then he asked the dreaded question, "Do you use any other type of tobacco?"
When I told him I did he gave me the standard Dr. speech. Then he told me about working on other guys who used chewing tobacco and what had happened to them. He finished with "I've seen it too many times, if you chew after this the procedure will not work and you WILL wear dentures for the rest of your life. Thing is, He is a retired Navy dentist/oral surgeon who spent most of his career on a aircraft carrier. I have enough friends who spent time on navy ships to know how many guys dip on ships.
Props to him, he went over how I could deal with craving and helped me set up a plan to quit or at least get through the two weeks that I can't dip for this procedure. Part of that plan was me starting the patch today, which I did and it's been almost 13 hours since I had a dip... which two weeks ago would have put me through a wall.
Yesterday I was outside working in the yard. My wife was going to her cousins bridal shower and stopped to give me a good bye kiss. Usually in situations like that I offer some lame excuse 'I'm all sweaty' and give her a quick peck on the cheek because I had my ninja dip in my mouth and didn't want her to find out. Yesterday however, after realizing that I didn't have a dip in and it had been a really long time since I did, I turned around and gave her a full on long lingering kiss on the lips. She didn't expect that but her smile and the look she gave me... Now I really really want to quit.
Today I found this site which seems to suggest that cold turkey is the only/best way to go.So from one hopefully future quitter to many quitters what do I do? quit cold turkey, follow my Dr.'s advice and use the patch, or just use the patch for as long as he prescribed and then go cold turkey?
Thanks for reading
Brad
Well, the patch will keep nicotine in your system for as long as you wear it. We here at KTC quit cold turkey and rely on our resolve and support from other quitters. YOU need to make the decision to quit. We can't quit for you, we can only give you a hard time for being a weakling.
I quit with you today - Stranger999 day 661
Great intro post. This site is cold turkey. That system has worked for thousands of us here. People who have been dipping 30 or 40 years without being able to quit have found that making a daily promise to the people on this site has actually worked.
The system is work and it won't be easy. But at the core of it, you make a promise and keep it for one day. You can keep a promise for one day. Then you make that same promise the next day.
You won't find anyone here who will support the patch. Nicotine is nicotine and we've all discovered that you can in fact just dump it and quit for real. I'm sure your dentist has your best interest at heart, but dentists aren't addiction specialists. The patch might keep you from dipping, but you'll still be feeding your addiction and you won't be quit.
So if you actually want to quit, tear off the patch, throw the rest in the toilet, and post Day 1 in the October 2017 HOF quit group.
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I am one of those 40+ year dippers-now Quit for 138 days.
You will find support and information here-- by the ton!
Don't put it off--post roll and get to work.
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Hey Brad,
The dentist didn't make you quit he just gave you a different way to put nicotine in your system . If your goal is to quit chewing long enough to get through your dental procedure follow the dentists instructions , if your goal is to quit THEN QUIT. It wont be fun, for the first couple of weeks. But cold turkey works there is plenty of people around here as proof.
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1,646 days ago I kicked the Kodiak bear to the curb. I quit for me. In the days since, my cholesterol has been cut in half. My blood pressure has returned to normal. My blood sugar is damn near normal. And I am a much, much, much better man that I was before.
Addiction makes you lie to yourself and those you love. You are sneaky, pathetic, and dishonest. You make decisions and choices that aren't the best for you, but are the best for you to get your fix. Kodiak cost me $40,000 in after tax money, lots of nights driving frantically to convenience stores to find a can when I could have been home bonding (between the sheets) with my wife, or spending time with my family.
Last weekend a widow of a 49-year old tobacco user and her 18 year old son flew to KC to spend the weekend with us. We talked a lot about her husband, and what a great man he was. The two of them are clearly continuing to find their way without the leader of their house. They had a great weekend, but man I wish Todd could have been there with them.
This is a decision only you can make. I can tell you this, I have yet to meet one person that ever has said "damn I wish I had never quit tobacco." Not one.
The choice is yours. The loss of a few teeth is the not all that there is to lose in this fight. Honestly, the freedom is so sweet that until you grasp it - you can't understand it. The patch isn't the first step. The dentist scaring you about dentures isn't the first step. You have to decide that nicotine can no longer be a part of your life. Ever. Once you make that decision, once you throw all of the nicotine out, once you grab your nuts and quit, you will never regret the decision. It won't be easy. But dude, I promise you, life is better without the bear in your life.
worktowin 1,646
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When i decided i was going to quit i told my dr i was goin to do it cold turkey and he really didnt like the idea told me the stats show the patch is better. I mean my dr really was insistent would not take no for answer but i still did it my way I'm at 74 days nic free. I have tried the patchs before it will prolong withdraws for longer. And when you quit want it want it bad like your life depends on it.
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Are you a man or a scared little girl? Are you seriously powerless to a plant? Some tough love here, bud, but you're not that special. We've all been there. You need to make a decision for yourself. Your dentist can't do it, your wife can't do it and certainly not some random people in a forum. Listen to worktowin, look in my signature line. The time for handholding and coddling is over. You found this place for a reason, you signed up for a reason and you posted here for a reason. Take the help that is being offered to you.
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Not on since the 25th....
How. Surprising.
This story replays itself over and over and over. NRT does not work. NRT leads straight back to the can.
Some people don't want to win.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
And I'll third it.
Something to think about. In September '17, we've sort of added a question 1A for those people that come back from a cave. They have to talk about why it happened, what they'll do differently this time, stuff like that. But here's question 1A that we've added over there.
Do you REALLY want to quit?
That's the only question you need to consider right now. If the answer is no, good luck with everything and we won't judge your decision. You're a grown man and free to make that decision for yourself. But if the answer is yes, surrender the thinking that you can do it by yourself. Let these people help you. Surrendering was the BEST decision I've ever made in my life, and I only made it 31 days ago. If the answer is yes, LIVE on this site as much as humanly possible and admit that everybody here knows more than you do about quitting. If you do that, and you make a few friends and do as prescribed, you'll quit. And you'll stay quit. And then you'll be giving advice on how to do it. And then you won't go to the dentist quite as often.
You just have to HONESTLY answer question 1A above. Honestly. You're only lying to yourself if you're not honest about it. Come join us if you want to be quit.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
And I'll third it.
Something to think about. In September '17, we've sort of added a question 1A for those people that come back from a cave. They have to talk about why it happened, what they'll do differently this time, stuff like that. But here's question 1A that we've added over there.
Do you REALLY want to quit?
That's the only question you need to consider right now. If the answer is no, good luck with everything and we won't judge your decision. You're a grown man and free to make that decision for yourself. But if the answer is yes, surrender the thinking that you can do it by yourself. Let these people help you. Surrendering was the BEST decision I've ever made in my life, and I only made it 31 days ago. If the answer is yes, LIVE on this site as much as humanly possible and admit that everybody here knows more than you do about quitting. If you do that, and you make a few friends and do as prescribed, you'll quit. And you'll stay quit. And then you'll be giving advice on how to do it. And then you won't go to the dentist quite as often.
You just have to HONESTLY answer question 1A above. Honestly. You're only lying to yourself if you're not honest about it. Come join us if you want to be quit.
^^this is good stuff.
I'll quit tomorrow. For this life insurance check up. New Years. Dogs birthday. Chinese New Year. After I finish this can. Once I plant the garden....
Man we get it! We all made excuses (lies) to ourselves for years. We knew they were lies. But once we got here we learned that, in order for this to work, we have to quit RIGHT NOW. Right now there is no excuse. Rip that patch off and post roll. There is ant army here waiting to help you.
Waiting won't make this easier. Getting nicotine into your system today isn't a help or reward. Freedom is the reward. You can do this.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
And I'll third it.
Something to think about. In September '17, we've sort of added a question 1A for those people that come back from a cave. They have to talk about why it happened, what they'll do differently this time, stuff like that. But here's question 1A that we've added over there.
Do you REALLY want to quit?
That's the only question you need to consider right now. If the answer is no, good luck with everything and we won't judge your decision. You're a grown man and free to make that decision for yourself. But if the answer is yes, surrender the thinking that you can do it by yourself. Let these people help you. Surrendering was the BEST decision I've ever made in my life, and I only made it 31 days ago. If the answer is yes, LIVE on this site as much as humanly possible and admit that everybody here knows more than you do about quitting. If you do that, and you make a few friends and do as prescribed, you'll quit. And you'll stay quit. And then you'll be giving advice on how to do it. And then you won't go to the dentist quite as often.
You just have to HONESTLY answer question 1A above. Honestly. You're only lying to yourself if you're not honest about it. Come join us if you want to be quit.
^^this is good stuff.
I'll quit tomorrow. For this life insurance check up. New Years. Dogs birthday. Chinese New Year. After I finish this can. Once I plant the garden....
Man we get it! We all made excuses (lies) to ourselves for years. We knew they were lies. But once we got here we learned that, in order for this to work, we have to quit RIGHT NOW. Right now there is no excuse. Rip that patch off and post roll. There is ant army here waiting to help you.
Waiting won't make this easier. Getting nicotine into your system today isn't a help or reward. Freedom is the reward. You can do this.
And boom... look at all this support. A bunch of random strangers all trying to push you to the promise land. I hope you can see that. I posted 899 today, tomorrow I'll post 900. Let's get your quit going today with a day 1. I absolutely promise you that you will feel instant relief from the lies, constraints and chains.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
1st the following is a time line of my day today
6:30 am get to work
7:00 am start feeling anxiousness creep in and wanting to switch out my patch (full 24 hrs as recommended would mean that I should switch the patch at 11:30am)
7-8 start thinking about everything that I read on this site last night
8:00 am decided that if i'm going to feel withdrawal effects while on the patch, I might as well feel them without the patch. I rip off the patch and throw it in the trash can.
Lunch: stopped at a convenience store and bought two cans of wild bills beef jerky chew (just beef, soy sauce and pepper)
12:30 almost completely loose it in a rage induced temper tantrum because my wife texted me to pick up diapers for my niece who is spending the night at our house - thankfully I realized why I was so angry before I responded.
4:00 pm realize that I still have the patch that I was supposed to put on today in my pocket. I went to the bathroom and threw it out
8:00 pm realize that I have now gone 12 hours without any nicotine
So; I don't think it matters whether or not you were attacking me, what I read, what all of you said, was what I needed to hear. So with a dull pounding headache, the heart racing and inability to sit still, I may thank all of you someday. (Just not today. ) Now I'm off the get some treadmill time in before my wife and niece get home
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
1st the following is a time line of my day today
6:30 am get to work
7:00 am start feeling anxiousness creep in and wanting to switch out my patch (full 24 hrs as recommended would mean that I should switch the patch at 11:30am)
7-8 start thinking about everything that I read on this site last night
8:00 am decided that if i'm going to feel withdrawal effects while on the patch, I might as well feel them without the patch. I rip off the patch and throw it in the trash can.
Lunch: stopped at a convenience store and bought two cans of wild bills beef jerky chew (just beef, soy sauce and pepper)
12:30 almost completely loose it in a rage induced temper tantrum because my wife texted me to pick up diapers for my niece who is spending the night at our house - thankfully I realized why I was so angry before I responded.
4:00 pm realize that I still have the patch that I was supposed to put on today in my pocket. I went to the bathroom and threw it out
8:00 pm realize that I have now gone 12 hours without any nicotine
So; I don't think it matters whether or not you were attacking me, what I read, what all of you said, was what I needed to hear. So with a dull pounding headache, the heart racing and inability to sit still, I may thank all of you someday. (Just not today. ) Now I'm off the get some treadmill time in before my wife and niece get home
THIS IS AWESOME!
Congratulations! Today, you took a stand and you are winning.
My number will be in your PM Box. Today, I quit with you.
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Well, I was looking for insight people who have been through this before. I appreciate the advice and insight. Although I guess from the last post I should apologize for being able to get on here yesterday.... And jpetmpls if I'm being completely honest I do feel more like a scared little girl then a man. Again, thanks for the all insight and advice.
Dude, we aren't attacking you. We are you. I made excuses for 25 years. I "quit"every day.
Here, we don't lie to ourselves any more. We quit. Was I scared? You bet your ass I was scared. Of a chopped up plant in a can. I was terrified! Now, I'm free.
Pull the patch off. Throw the fan out. Post roll. I'll send you my number and you can call and tell me what s jerk I am or whatever you want. We all want the same thing. It is attainable. You can do it.
Join us
I second the above. You have my digits. I'll be happy to help you through this. But again, you have to want to do it.
1st the following is a time line of my day today
6:30 am get to work
7:00 am start feeling anxiousness creep in and wanting to switch out my patch (full 24 hrs as recommended would mean that I should switch the patch at 11:30am)
7-8 start thinking about everything that I read on this site last night
8:00 am decided that if i'm going to feel withdrawal effects while on the patch, I might as well feel them without the patch. I rip off the patch and throw it in the trash can.
Lunch: stopped at a convenience store and bought two cans of wild bills beef jerky chew (just beef, soy sauce and pepper)
12:30 almost completely loose it in a rage induced temper tantrum because my wife texted me to pick up diapers for my niece who is spending the night at our house - thankfully I realized why I was so angry before I responded.
4:00 pm realize that I still have the patch that I was supposed to put on today in my pocket. I went to the bathroom and threw it out
8:00 pm realize that I have now gone 12 hours without any nicotine
So; I don't think it matters whether or not you were attacking me, what I read, what all of you said, was what I needed to hear. So with a dull pounding headache, the heart racing and inability to sit still, I may thank all of you someday. (Just not today. ) Now I'm off the get some treadmill time in before my wife and niece get home
THIS IS AWESOME!
Congratulations! Today, you took a stand and you are winning.
My number will be in your PM Box. Today, I quit with you.
And you better believe one thing, we were ABSOLUTELY attacking the addict. We were NOT attacking YOU. And it will NOT be the last time the addict feels attacked on here. Whenever that happens, look at it with the attitude you've had today. You will beat the addict. He will always be inside you, but you can tie that fucker up in the basement and beat him, taser him, gouge his eyes out, laugh at his rotting carcass, whatever you want. Bottom line is, you'll know you've beat him. So yeah, we'll attack the addict. And you'll grow to appreciate that.
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Hi Brad.
You've made the first step. The second is very important. Post roll in your group. (KillTheCan. Online Community/Community/Quit Groups/October 2017 Quit Group). Don't worry if you screw up the roll right now, just get your name on the list. I know it sounds super lame and corny. 1,649 days ago I thought the same thing. Haven't missed a day since, and I won't. It is easier to quit as a team than it is alone. And it is a lot harder to cave and give up on 100 guys going through the same thing at the same time you are than it is to give up on yourself. There will be days that posting roll and giving your word will save your quit. You've got nothing to lose and a lot to gain.
Post roll and let's do this!
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for everyone urging me to post role
single/?p=11680853t=30273248 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11680853&t=30273248)
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for everyone urging me to post role
single/?p=11680853t=30273248 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=11680853&t=30273248)
Excellent! Post roll again tomorrow and you won't regret it! We keep our promises one day at a time. :)
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How's the quit going, Brad?
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How's the quit going, Brad?
can't believe I made it a week. Never realized insomnia would be this bad. Almost flew off the handle at a coworker today with an intensity that scared even me, Got to tell the wife I'd passed three days with no dip, and realized that I was prouder of me than she was. ( in fairness to her I spent the last 12 years trying to hide it from her.)
Also realized today that I have spent the last 22 years planning every aspect of my life around how/when I can get a dip in.
And I think that my brain is trying to play mind games with me to get me back on nic. "Hey, Hey Brad! Remember when you 1st started dipping and you left one in too long? and puked? and puked again? Since you haven't had any for a week how long do you think you would have to have a dip in before you got sick? lets see... go get a can.... we'll call it a science experiment."
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How's the quit going, Brad?
can't believe I made it a week. Never realized insomnia would be this bad. Almost flew off the handle at a coworker today with an intensity that scared even me, Got to tell the wife I'd passed three days with no dip, and realized that I was prouder of me than she was. ( in fairness to her I spent the last 12 years trying to hide it from her.)
Also realized today that I have spent the last 22 years planning every aspect of my life around how/when I can get a dip in.
And I think that my brain is trying to play mind games with me to get me back on nic. "Hey, Hey Brad! Remember when you 1st started dipping and you left one in too long? and puked? and puked again? Since you haven't had any for a week how long do you think you would have to have a dip in before you got sick? lets see... go get a can.... we'll call it a science experiment."
Yep. All part of the journey dude.
Here's something good to remember... you'll never have to relive these 7 days again. Ever.
22 years of lose. 7 days of win. Has a nice ring to it.
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How's the quit going, Brad?
can't believe I made it a week. Never realized insomnia would be this bad. Almost flew off the handle at a coworker today with an intensity that scared even me, Got to tell the wife I'd passed three days with no dip, and realized that I was prouder of me than she was. ( in fairness to her I spent the last 12 years trying to hide it from her.)
Also realized today that I have spent the last 22 years planning every aspect of my life around how/when I can get a dip in.
And I think that my brain is trying to play mind games with me to get me back on nic. "Hey, Hey Brad! Remember when you 1st started dipping and you left one in too long? and puked? and puked again? Since you haven't had any for a week how long do you think you would have to have a dip in before you got sick? lets see... go get a can.... we'll call it a science experiment."
Yep. All part of the journey dude.
Here's something good to remember... you'll never have to relive these 7 days again. Ever.
22 years of lose. 7 days of win. Has a nice ring to it.
Regarding the wife, people who aren't addicts cannot comprehend why this is so difficult. This is another good reason for a site like KTC - you don't have to tell all of us how much this sucks, we totally get it.
The insomnia will pass, but oh how it sucks until it does. You have done such a great job slaying this beast, hang in there!
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just remember...quitting is 95% mental and 5% everything else. I was at least a can a day for 24 years and walked away cold turkey thanks to the tools I got here and the pure , uncut, nut check that I gave myself.
NOTHING is unattainable if you are willing to work hard enough to achieve it.
It sounds like your kicking some ass in this quit, proud to be quit with you and pm me for my digits anytime. never let up and never look back. I like to say that my quit is not a matter of life and death...its WAY more important than that.
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I'll add one more thing about the wife. I truly do not believe she is any less proud than you are. If she's like mine, she's just very guarded in her willingness to show you how proud she is because she won't believe this quit will stick for oh, probably about a year. In her mind, you being quit a week is like you saying you will give her a foot massage every day for the rest of her life. She doesn't really believe you until you prove it for a while. I'm 37 days and my wife is still VERY guarded in her belief of me. And I don't blame her a bit.
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I'll add one more thing about the wife. I truly do not believe she is any less proud than you are. If she's like mine, she's just very guarded in her willingness to show you how proud she is because she won't believe this quit will stick for oh, probably about a year. In her mind, you being quit a week is like you saying you will give her a foot massage every day for the rest of her life. She doesn't really believe you until you prove it for a while. I'm 37 days and my wife is still VERY guarded in her belief of me. And I don't blame her a bit.
Great point. Hadn't thought about it that way before, thanks.
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Congrats on posting Double Digits today!
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Congrats on posting Double Digits today!
Great milestone!
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Hey man, nice job jumping in and posting daily! One day at a time things will get better!!
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Good job on taking the patchs off they prolong the worst of the suck i know this from experience. The anxiety and crazy had that also at 90 days its improved much. I found mindfulness meditation can help with some of the anxiety. Look it up if you can keep an opened mind.
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100!!!!
Great job, bbk, on the first of many milestones to come!!! And 'Birthday'
'party2' 'party2' 'party2'