KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: rangy96 on March 10, 2012, 09:17:00 AM
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I am 41 years old. First dip in the 4th grade. Skoal wintergreen. Got buzzed and liked it. Got it from a kid who was new in town and was "super cool and tough". He was already dipping. Soon, we became friends (he was the best man at my wedding). We quickly moved to copenhagen as it was the best by far. We once stole 39 cents from couch cushions at his aunt's house in Quanah, Texas so we could go buy tobacco. The only thing we could get for 39 cents was a plug of brown mule chewing tobacco. We didn't care, as long as it was tobacco. I continued dipping as much I could get away with it. In 7th grade I got a "real job" plowing for a local farmer. 11 hours a day at $3.35 per hour. Dipping all day. I think that summer is the summer that the nicotine really set the hook. I didn't realize it, but that stuff was already screwing with my life. I dipped as often as I could, but hid it from my parents. That trend continued for 25 years. Dipping and hiding it. From practicallly everyone. My wife knew, but I told her I quit (which I did for a while) and was to weak to tell her I had started again, it was easier to just hide it. Lies, deception, shame, and nicotine. That's what this part of my life has been for a long time. Every can was my last. I quit every Friday, then started again every saturday morning (but only gonna have one on saturday). Then just one monday morning, because, for God's sake its Monday and what kind of dumbass quits on a monday. This pattern continued for 15 years or so. Two kids came along the way and I couldn't quit for them either. All of this has led to a massive amount of self-loathing. I can't stand myself for having done all this.
Today. Day 23. It feels different this time, all because of KTC. Got a KTC wrist band yesterday and put it on. I don't think I am going to take it off. Ever. Bury me with it. I feel free (but cautiously free). I am an addict. One day at a time is the only thing that I can do without complete total overload panic I can't do this bullshit. In my future I have: 1) first time in the deer stand without snuff, 2) first long road trip without snuff, 3) First physical inventory at work without snuff, 4) first dove hunt without snuff.....and on and on and on. I find incredible peace in only considering today. somebody on here said will I dip again? I cannot say. Will I dip today? I will not.
That's all I am willing to consider is today. Day 23. No dip today.
Thanks to the people who put this site together. I really feel it has saved me from a lifetime of self loathing. Sorry so long for an intro but damn this site is changing my life and i ain't so good at organizing these thoughts. they just keep pouring out.
rangy96 (steve)
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Rangy nice post man I can relate. Don't worry about all of those first until the day you have to. I used to be terrified of hunting and fishing with the guys but I've now done it several times. It only gets easier with time. Make yourself accountable to as many people as possible. Let everyone close to you know that you're quit this will remind you when you're craving that you are accountable. You've got a great attitude and you will do this one day at a time. If you ever need any help or advice PM me on this site. You've got this man!
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I am 41 years old. First dip in the 4th grade. Skoal wintergreen. Got buzzed and liked it. Got it from a kid who was new in town and was "super cool and tough". He was already dipping. Soon, we became friends (he was the best man at my wedding). We quickly moved to copenhagen as it was the best by far. We once stole 39 cents from couch cushions at his aunt's house in Quanah, Texas so we could go buy tobacco. The only thing we could get for 39 cents was a plug of brown mule chewing tobacco. We didn't care, as long as it was tobacco. I continued dipping as much I could get away with it. In 7th grade I got a "real job" plowing for a local farmer. 11 hours a day at $3.35 per hour. Dipping all day. I think that summer is the summer that the nicotine really set the hook. I didn't realize it, but that stuff was already screwing with my life. I dipped as often as I could, but hid it from my parents. That trend continued for 25 years. Dipping and hiding it. From practicallly everyone. My wife knew, but I told her I quit (which I did for a while) and was to weak to tell her I had started again, it was easier to just hide it. Lies, deception, shame, and nicotine. That's what this part of my life has been for a long time. Every can was my last. I quit every Friday, then started again every saturday morning (but only gonna have one on saturday). Then just one monday morning, because, for God's sake its Monday and what kind of dumbass quits on a monday. This pattern continued for 15 years or so. Two kids came along the way and I couldn't quit for them either. All of this has led to a massive amount of self-loathing. I can't stand myself for having done all this.
Today. Day 23. It feels different this time, all because of KTC. Got a KTC wrist band yesterday and put it on. I don't think I am going to take it off. Ever. Bury me with it. I feel free (but cautiously free). I am an addict. One day at a time is the only thing that I can do without complete total overload panic I can't do this bullshit. In my future I have: 1) first time in the deer stand without snuff, 2) first long road trip without snuff, 3) First physical inventory at work without snuff, 4) first dove hunt without snuff.....and on and on and on. I find incredible peace in only considering today. somebody on here said will I dip again? I cannot say. Will I dip today? I will not.
That's all I am willing to consider is today. Day 23. No dip today.
Thanks to the people who put this site together. I really feel it has saved me from a lifetime of self loathing. Sorry so long for an intro but damn this site is changing my life and i ain't so good at organizing these thoughts. they just keep pouring out.
rangy96 (steve)
Fantastic Post! You expressed a lot of what nicotine did to me as well. I felt ashamed all the time, it was pathetic. But you know what, not today! I will enjoy my freedom today! I will quit with you today.
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Steve you are in the right place bro. Bunch of addicts being cautiously free. I like that.
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Great stuff Rangy Steve!
This fires me up. Forever DTD. You are kicking ass bro.
BTW "rangy steve" makes me think of a cartoon raccoon for some reason. A bad ass quittin raccoon with a park ranger hat on its head.
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I am 41 years old. First dip in the 4th grade. Skoal wintergreen. Got buzzed and liked it. Got it from a kid who was new in town and was "super cool and tough". He was already dipping. Soon, we became friends (he was the best man at my wedding). We quickly moved to copenhagen as it was the best by far. We once stole 39 cents from couch cushions at his aunt's house in Quanah, Texas so we could go buy tobacco. The only thing we could get for 39 cents was a plug of brown mule chewing tobacco. We didn't care, as long as it was tobacco. I continued dipping as much I could get away with it. In 7th grade I got a "real job" plowing for a local farmer. 11 hours a day at $3.35 per hour. Dipping all day. I think that summer is the summer that the nicotine really set the hook. I didn't realize it, but that stuff was already screwing with my life. I dipped as often as I could, but hid it from my parents. That trend continued for 25 years. Dipping and hiding it. From practicallly everyone. My wife knew, but I told her I quit (which I did for a while) and was to weak to tell her I had started again, it was easier to just hide it. Lies, deception, shame, and nicotine. That's what this part of my life has been for a long time. Every can was my last. I quit every Friday, then started again every saturday morning (but only gonna have one on saturday). Then just one monday morning, because, for God's sake its Monday and what kind of dumbass quits on a monday. This pattern continued for 15 years or so. Two kids came along the way and I couldn't quit for them either. All of this has led to a massive amount of self-loathing. I can't stand myself for having done all this.
Today. Day 23. It feels different this time, all because of KTC. Got a KTC wrist band yesterday and put it on. I don't think I am going to take it off. Ever. Bury me with it. I feel free (but cautiously free). I am an addict. One day at a time is the only thing that I can do without complete total overload panic I can't do this bullshit. In my future I have: 1) first time in the deer stand without snuff, 2) first long road trip without snuff, 3) First physical inventory at work without snuff, 4) first dove hunt without snuff.....and on and on and on. I find incredible peace in only considering today. somebody on here said will I dip again? I cannot say. Will I dip today? I will not.
That's all I am willing to consider is today. Day 23. No dip today.
Thanks to the people who put this site together. I really feel it has saved me from a lifetime of self loathing. Sorry so long for an intro but damn this site is changing my life and i ain't so good at organizing these thoughts. they just keep pouring out.
rangy96 (steve)
Truly Outstanding!!!
We all have similiar stories and can all appreciate how changing your life is a long process, stay quit and be on here often drink a ton of water and really dive into your QUIT you will truly enjoy the results!
PM me if you need some numbers or just a friend to vent to.
Grizzly25......33 days and counting
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I am 41 years old. First dip in the 4th grade. Skoal wintergreen. Got buzzed and liked it. Got it from a kid who was new in town and was "super cool and tough". He was already dipping. Soon, we became friends (he was the best man at my wedding). We quickly moved to copenhagen as it was the best by far. We once stole 39 cents from couch cushions at his aunt's house in Quanah, Texas so we could go buy tobacco. The only thing we could get for 39 cents was a plug of brown mule chewing tobacco. We didn't care, as long as it was tobacco. I continued dipping as much I could get away with it. In 7th grade I got a "real job" plowing for a local farmer. 11 hours a day at $3.35 per hour. Dipping all day. I think that summer is the summer that the nicotine really set the hook. I didn't realize it, but that stuff was already screwing with my life. I dipped as often as I could, but hid it from my parents. That trend continued for 25 years. Dipping and hiding it. From practicallly everyone. My wife knew, but I told her I quit (which I did for a while) and was to weak to tell her I had started again, it was easier to just hide it. Lies, deception, shame, and nicotine. That's what this part of my life has been for a long time. Every can was my last. I quit every Friday, then started again every saturday morning (but only gonna have one on saturday). Then just one monday morning, because, for God's sake its Monday and what kind of dumbass quits on a monday. This pattern continued for 15 years or so. Two kids came along the way and I couldn't quit for them either. All of this has led to a massive amount of self-loathing. I can't stand myself for having done all this.Â
Today. Day 23. It feels different this time, all because of KTC. Got a KTC wrist band yesterday and put it on. I don't think I am going to take it off. Ever. Bury me with it. I feel free (but cautiously free). I am an addict. One day at a time is the only thing that I can do without complete total overload panic I can't do this bullshit. In my future I have: 1) first time in the deer stand without snuff, 2) first long road trip without snuff, 3) First physical inventory at work without snuff, 4) first dove hunt without snuff.....and on and on and on. I find incredible peace in only considering today. somebody on here said will I dip again? I cannot say. Will I dip today? I will not.
That's all I am willing to consider is today. Day 23. No dip today.
Thanks to the people who put this site together. I really feel it has saved me from a lifetime of self loathing. Sorry so long for an intro but damn this site is changing my life and i ain't so good at organizing these thoughts. they just keep pouring out.Â
rangy96 (steve)
Truly Outstanding!!!
We all have similiar stories and can all appreciate how changing your life is a long process, stay quit and be on here often drink a ton of water and really dive into your QUIT you will truly enjoy the results!
PM me if you need some numbers or just a friend to vent to.
Grizzly25......33 days and counting
Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)
I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.
In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip, sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome, and fun.
One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.
Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I. Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.
Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and he didn't know. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.
Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.
Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.
I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.
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Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)
I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.
In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip, sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome, and fun.
One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.
Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I. Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.
Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and he didn't know. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.
Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.
Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.
I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.
Mthom: great stuff. You should copy it and put it in your own intro though. You should then read everything in the "welcome center".
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Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)
I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.
In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip, sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome, and fun.
One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.
Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I. Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.
Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and he didn't know. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.
Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.
Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.
I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.
Mthom: great stuff. You should copy it and put it in your own intro though. You should then read everything in the "welcome center".
Sorry to see you leave our May group....
I feel strength in your words. Keep up the fight. The cave is not worth it, and I know you know that.
I QUIT WITH YOU....!!!
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Saw that Gunner26 kind of kept an intro thread going where he could post stuff as he moved through the various phases of quit. I liked reading it and it helped me so I am gonna try the same thing.
Day 23 I posted an intro and felt really good. Day 24, 25, 26, and 27 were the worst. I didn't even feel human. Depressed, pissed, mentally sluggish, sad, happy, pissed, pissed and sad. It was by far the worst. I think that when you finally deal with what nicotine is doing to your life, you go through a euphoria stage because the truth will set you free. Then comes reality.......oh my god I can never put that shit that I love in my mouth again. The emotional aspect of dealing with this reality is doing things to me that I have never experienced and I don't know what they are. Nicotine was what I looked forward too. Even when I couldn't do it because of "life's" complications, I could always rest easy knowing that in time, I could have nicotine.
Not anymore. I am sure that this part is what is going to hurt the longest.
I miss you nic bitch. But I fucking hate your sorry slimy ass and all that you are. I will not lose focus on one day at a time and my hate of you and what I am with you in my life will fuel that focus.
I will not use nicotine today.
And finally, thanks to everyone who has responded to something I have posted. It really helps. I have been "taking" a lot from this site and need to start "giving" more. You have shown me that.
rangy96
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Saw that Gunner26 kind of kept an intro thread going where he could post stuff as he moved through the various phases of quit. I liked reading it and it helped me so I am gonna try the same thing.
Day 23 I posted an intro and felt really good. Day 24, 25, 26, and 27 were the worst. I didn't even feel human. Depressed, pissed, mentally sluggish, sad, happy, pissed, pissed and sad. It was by far the worst. I think that when you finally deal with what nicotine is doing to your life, you go through a euphoria stage because the truth will set you free. Then comes reality.......oh my god I can never put that shit that I love in my mouth again. The emotional aspect of dealing with this reality is doing things to me that I have never experienced and I don't know what they are. Nicotine was what I looked forward too. Even when I couldn't do it because of "life's" complications, I could always rest easy knowing that in time, I could have nicotine.
Not anymore. I am sure that this part is what is going to hurt the longest.
I miss you nic bitch. But I fucking hate your sorry slimy ass and all that you are. I will not lose focus on one day at a time and my hate of you and what I am with you in my life will fuel that focus.
I will not use nicotine today.
And finally, thanks to everyone who has responded to something I have posted. It really helps. I have been "taking" a lot from this site and need to start "giving" more. You have shown me that.
rangy96
WOW! I went through that exact same thing at that exact same time, I joked I had the emotional stability of a 13 year old girl but with way more anger issues. Let me tell you something the euphoria stage you get after you get through that one? So awesome it is hard to describe, in a couple days you will know what I am talking about.
You don't miss the nic, you miss what for us was normal before we took control of our lives. Trust me on this one you are soon gonna experience an intoxication of freedom that will make you realize how great life can be.
Quit with you today.
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Saw that Gunner26 kind of kept an intro thread going where he could post stuff as he moved through the various phases of quit. I liked reading it and it helped me so I am gonna try the same thing.
Day 23 I posted an intro and felt really good. Day 24, 25, 26, and 27 were the worst. I didn't even feel human. Depressed, pissed, mentally sluggish, sad, happy, pissed, pissed and sad. It was by far the worst. I think that when you finally deal with what nicotine is doing to your life, you go through a euphoria stage because the truth will set you free. Then comes reality.......oh my god I can never put that shit that I love in my mouth again. The emotional aspect of dealing with this reality is doing things to me that I have never experienced and I don't know what they are. Nicotine was what I looked forward too. Even when I couldn't do it because of "life's" complications, I could always rest easy knowing that in time, I could have nicotine.
Not anymore. I am sure that this part is what is going to hurt the longest.
I miss you nic bitch. But I fucking hate your sorry slimy ass and all that you are. I will not lose focus on one day at a time and my hate of you and what I am with you in my life will fuel that focus.
I will not use nicotine today.
And finally, thanks to everyone who has responded to something I have posted. It really helps. I have been "taking" a lot from this site and need to start "giving" more. You have shown me that.
rangy96
Amazing, heartfelt shit. I'm at Day 25 and fortunately I haven't been hit by this depression yet. Or perhaps I have but I call them funks. I've had funks, but I have NOT had issues with the concept of never having tobacco again.
When the addiction makes me think of tobacco and the routines and lies I used to subscribe to (hey, I could slip away from the family like this and buy a can over here ...), I just get PISSED. Not pissed at anyone or "generally angry", pissed at tobacco.
I read a couple similar posts from brothers this morning talking about unfocused anger and wondering if this stuff goes away. Look guys, GET YOUR ANGER FOCUSED ON THE ASS OF TOBACCO WHERE IT BELONGS. FUCK TOBACCO.
Tobacco won't ever "fix" you, it never has.
--Russ
-
Saw that Gunner26 kind of kept an intro thread going where he could post stuff as he moved through the various phases of quit. I liked reading it and it helped me so I am gonna try the same thing.
Day 23 I posted an intro and felt really good. Day 24, 25, 26, and 27 were the worst. I didn't even feel human. Depressed, pissed, mentally sluggish, sad, happy, pissed, pissed and sad. It was by far the worst. I think that when you finally deal with what nicotine is doing to your life, you go through a euphoria stage because the truth will set you free. Then comes reality.......oh my god I can never put that shit that I love in my mouth again. The emotional aspect of dealing with this reality is doing things to me that I have never experienced and I don't know what they are. Nicotine was what I looked forward too. Even when I couldn't do it because of "life's" complications, I could always rest easy knowing that in time, I could have nicotine.
Not anymore. I am sure that this part is what is going to hurt the longest.
I miss you nic bitch. But I fucking hate your sorry slimy ass and all that you are. I will not lose focus on one day at a time and my hate of you and what I am with you in my life will fuel that focus.
I will not use nicotine today.
And finally, thanks to everyone who has responded to something I have posted. It really helps. I have been "taking" a lot from this site and need to start "giving" more. You have shown me that.
rangy96
Thanks for sharing that rangy, a lot of people will be able to relate to it and will be helped by it. I struggled with that hole in my life for a short while as well. Thats when it's really important to put your blinders on and go one day at a time. Until I did that I was really wrestling with forever and it was wasted energy and bad karma.
For me I also had a short funk at about 70 that was post euphoria, post fear of losing dip forever and just saddness for the years and years I wasted dipping. The lies, missed opportunities etc. After a couple days of moping and a couple days of anger I came to terms with it. It really felt like I had a new beginning complete with a third testicle I didn't know I had. Things have been real solid ever since. Hang in.
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Congrats Rangy...and all folks who have replied. I've read it before on here, but it is worth repeating...
You can't change the past. We don't know the future. But you can control what you do right now. So, quit hiding, get tough and start being the person you want to be today...right now.
Stay strong and stay quit, brother!
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Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
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Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Nice work bro!!
Stay strong!
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Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Nice work bro!!
Stay strong!
Love the stories guys
I just found out today that the insurance company for the quick oil change place I used - that screwed up the oil change - filter came off - that screwed up a perfect 75k toyota engine on my daughters vehicle doesn't want to pay the $7500 to fix the engine - in fact doesn't want to pay the claim at all -
I did not need a chew for this news - took it like a man - told him I've been quit for 12 days and will not be responsible for future sins. Ya gotta laugh at the triggers. Also - I have been taking the best dumps in a long while - no nic in my crap - no nic in my mouth as I take a crap - or leak - or shower -or drive - or walk - or read- or mowing the lawn - or work up estimates - or work on the computer - or work on the taxes - or talk on the phone - or breath - or watch Survivor (which I missed tonight - so don't tell me anything)
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Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Nice work bro!!
Stay strong!
Love the stories guys
I just found out today that the insurance company for the quick oil change place I used - that screwed up the oil change - filter came off - that screwed up a perfect 75k toyota engine on my daughters vehicle doesn't want to pay the $7500 to fix the engine - in fact doesn't want to pay the claim at all -
I did not need a chew for this news - took it like a man - told him I've been quit for 12 days and will not be responsible for future sins. Ya gotta laugh at the triggers. Also - I have been taking the best dumps in a long while - no nic in my crap - no nic in my mouth as I take a crap - or leak - or shower -or drive - or walk - or read- or mowing the lawn - or work up estimates - or work on the computer - or work on the taxes - or talk on the phone - or breath - or watch Survivor (which I missed tonight - so don't tell me anything)
Nice work bro. Embrace that challenge. Enjoy it. You are stronger than some pussy ass ruffled panties wearing spineless fucking addict. You got this.
I quit with you today.
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Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Nice work bro!!
Stay strong!
Love the stories guys
I just found out today that the insurance company for the quick oil change place I used - that screwed up the oil change - filter came off - that screwed up a perfect 75k toyota engine on my daughters vehicle doesn't want to pay the $7500 to fix the engine - in fact doesn't want to pay the claim at all -
I did not need a chew for this news - took it like a man - told him I've been quit for 12 days and will not be responsible for future sins. Ya gotta laugh at the triggers. Also - I have been taking the best dumps in a long while - no nic in my crap - no nic in my mouth as I take a crap - or leak - or shower -or drive - or walk - or read- or mowing the lawn - or work up estimates - or work on the computer - or work on the taxes - or talk on the phone - or breath - or watch Survivor (which I missed tonight - so don't tell me anything)
Nice work bro. Embrace that challenge. Enjoy it. You are stronger than some pussy ass ruffled panties wearing spineless fucking addict. You got this.
I quit with you today.
That's what I call WINNING!
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gotta write this morning. WTF is goin on with me? all the way back to confused, pissed, happy, sad, pissed and guilty?! Why guilty?! what the hell is that about?
It's day 50. Got REALLY sick of the drama in the brothers of may this past week. One minute I hate the guys who are holier than thou you gotta post within the first 30 seconds of waking up bullshit, then the next minute, I see their point. Wastepanel says take what you need for your quit, leave the rest behind. So I did, but couldn't stop reading all the clamor. Then this morning I start reading the Kern Story (which I have read 10 times before) but I stumble on stuff that is being written like 7 years after this guy died.
By his kids.
It's been like 7 years and they are still in incredible pain. Horrible fucking agony because their daddy is gone.
So in response to that I sob like I haven't ever, in my life, done. Asking God why he did that to them and not me. I have been putting that shit in my face since 4th grade and I am still here with the chance to quit but Tom isn't here. And his kids are missing their dad.
Guilt?!
Not an expected symptom of quit. But it has been coming on pretty strong for the last week or so.
OK, got that out there.
Gotta go post up some support for a Brother of May that seems to be teetering. If I don't, feels like I might be teetering soon.
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I posted this in my group, but wanted it in my thread as well because it has been a profound part of my quit. thx
(Skoal Monster @ Apr 8, 2012, 1:01 am)
Wanna reminder of what's at stake? Here's a page from Jenny Kern's journal. If you haven't read the Tom and Jenny Kern story here is the link
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp)
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards.....[cut remainder]
Just to add to this, I was reading Ms. Kern's caring bridge blog and got all torn up over the pain expressed there. I found a link to an email address that appeared to be for her so I sent a quick note to say thanks for continuing to share, it helps, etc etc. Suprisingly, she wrote back very quickly. A portion is below:
[My youngest just asked me to buy her dad's aftershave so she can smell what he smelled like because she was too young to remember him. She has lived half of her life without him. I ache for her!
I'm so glad your wife and daughters won't have to experience this pain. Good luck and God bless!]
If you ever need some quit mojo and have kids, go read the Caring Bridge Kern stuff. If your boat hasn't been set ablaze yet, then these pages are a 5 gallon can of gas and a box of weatherproof matches.
Stay quit. Your life depends on it.
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I posted this in my group, but wanted it in my thread as well because it has been a profound part of my quit. thx
(Skoal Monster @ Apr 8, 2012, 1:01 am)
Wanna reminder of what's at stake? Here's a page from Jenny Kern's journal. If you haven't read the Tom and Jenny Kern story here is the link
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp)
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards.....[cut remainder]
Just to add to this, I was reading Ms. Kern's caring bridge blog and got all torn up over the pain expressed there. I found a link to an email address that appeared to be for her so I sent a quick note to say thanks for continuing to share, it helps, etc etc. Suprisingly, she wrote back very quickly. A portion is below:
[My youngest just asked me to buy her dad's aftershave so she can smell what he smelled like because she was too young to remember him. She has lived half of her life without him. I ache for her!
I'm so glad your wife and daughters won't have to experience this pain. Good luck and God bless!]
If you ever need some quit mojo and have kids, go read the Caring Bridge Kern stuff. If your boat hasn't been set ablaze yet, then these pages are a 5 gallon can of gas and a box of weatherproof matches.
Stay quit. Your life depends on it.
Keep on quiting and writing stories like this and putting things in perspective like this make your quit stronger!
I am proud to be quit with you today and everyday!
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I posted this in my group, but wanted it in my thread as well because it has been a profound part of my quit. thx
(Skoal Monster @ Apr 8, 2012, 1:01 am)
Wanna reminder of what's at stake? Here's a page from Jenny Kern's journal. If you haven't read the Tom and Jenny Kern story here is the link
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/jennykern.asp)
Journal
Monday, May 10, 2010 12:10 AM CDT
I'm sliding backwards. I have been angry since Christmas because life is either at a standstill or going backwards.....[cut remainder]
Just to add to this, I was reading Ms. Kern's caring bridge blog and got all torn up over the pain expressed there. I found a link to an email address that appeared to be for her so I sent a quick note to say thanks for continuing to share, it helps, etc etc. Suprisingly, she wrote back very quickly. A portion is below:
[My youngest just asked me to buy her dad's aftershave so she can smell what he smelled like because she was too young to remember him. She has lived half of her life without him. I ache for her!
I'm so glad your wife and daughters won't have to experience this pain. Good luck and God bless!]
If you ever need some quit mojo and have kids, go read the Caring Bridge Kern stuff. If your boat hasn't been set ablaze yet, then these pages are a 5 gallon can of gas and a box of weatherproof matches.
Stay quit. Your life depends on it.
Great post Rangy.
There is a lot of very sobering stories and info on this site, it certainly helps me stay quit just to read. Proud to be quit with you.
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Day 54. Made it through a weekend with a dipping father in law. He's the kind that likes to say "no way your gonna quit. you've said that before". And then sticks his tongue into his can of skoal and shows me how good it is.
I love him because he is my father in law. Not because he is supporting my quit.
Stay quit dudes.
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Day 54. Made it through a weekend with a dipping father in law. He's the kind that likes to say "no way your gonna quit. you've said that before". And then sticks his tongue into his can of skoal and shows me how good it is.
I love him because he is my father in law. Not because he is supporting my quit.
Stay quit dudes.
Sigh. I just have no freaking patience for these folks you guys are encountering who should be supportive and are quite the opposite.
I don't care if they are coworkers, relatives, or even spouses/kids/siblings, if they are USING in front of you and MOCKING your quit, they are FUCKS.
I'm lucky, I guess, I happen to have a halfway decent father-in-law. Mother-in-law's another tale :) However, this FIL of yours helps support that notion that in-laws SUCK. You tell him I said that, I don't mind being the bad cop.
Stay strong, brother.
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Day 54. Made it through a weekend with a dipping father in law. He's the kind that likes to say "no way your gonna quit. you've said that before". And then sticks his tongue into his can of skoal and shows me how good it is.Â
I love him because he is my father in law. Not because he is supporting my quit.
Stay quit dudes.
Sigh. I just have no freaking patience for these folks you guys are encountering who should be supportive and are quite the opposite.
I don't care if they are coworkers, relatives, or even spouses/kids/siblings, if they are USING in front of you and MOCKING your quit, they are FUCKS.
I'm lucky, I guess, I happen to have a halfway decent father-in-law. Mother-in-law's another tale :) However, this FIL of yours helps support that notion that in-laws SUCK. You tell him I said that, I don't mind being the bad cop.
Stay strong, brother.
There are always doubters and they can all kiss my ass!
We quit like Fuck around here!
I say do your best to avoid negative people like that and stay near your support which is this group, they are the ones who know what your dealing with and going thru.
Stay quit stay focused!
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Day 54. Made it through a weekend with a dipping father in law. He's the kind that likes to say "no way your gonna quit. you've said that before". And then sticks his tongue into his can of skoal and shows me how good it is.Â
I love him because he is my father in law. Not because he is supporting my quit.
Stay quit dudes.
Sigh. I just have no freaking patience for these folks you guys are encountering who should be supportive and are quite the opposite.
I don't care if they are coworkers, relatives, or even spouses/kids/siblings, if they are USING in front of you and MOCKING your quit, they are FUCKS.
I'm lucky, I guess, I happen to have a halfway decent father-in-law. Mother-in-law's another tale :) However, this FIL of yours helps support that notion that in-laws SUCK. You tell him I said that, I don't mind being the bad cop.
Stay strong, brother.
There are always doubters and they can all kiss my ass!
We quit like Fuck around here!
I say do your best to avoid negative people like that and stay near your support which is this group, they are the ones who know what your dealing with and going thru.
Stay quit stay focused!
Rangy, that just sucks. I've had the good fortune of not being around a lot of other dippers during my quit. To have people you care about siding with the nic bitch has got to be difficult. Hang in there bro. You are strong, and you are quit. Something your father-in-law can't say...
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Day 57. Captain's log.
We have entered the UST Galaxy, and it is completely engulfed in a copenhagen asteroid field. Spock insists the only way to navigate through the copenhagen asteroid field without destroying the ship, and hence our lives, is to use the vulcan mind-meld. He is not aware of the KTC option. I have tried to explain to him the human logic of posting roll and the accountability that it brings every day. He cannot understand why it would be necessary to go post roll on a website and make a promise to a bunch of people you don't know just to ensure that you don't kill yourself every day. But, he's not human, and he is not an addict. I am both. And I am a Brother of May 2012, so I get it.
So, as we navigate the field of cope cans, I, Captain Kirk, remain diligent so that I may post roll again tomorrow. And so I can continue to have sex with weirdly hot alien chicks on prime time TV in the 70s.
......ok, those thoughts are a little strange and I am not even a big star trek fan. But, it was the only show my parents would allow me to watch that had hot, nearly naked chicks on it. My dad claimed to like the show, but looking back, I think he had a thing for alien chicks.
I promised myself a post today, and this is what came out. Take it for what it's worth. Somebody just trying to ward off a funk that is coming.
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Day 57. Captain's log.
We have entered the UST Galaxy, and it is completely engulfed in a copenhagen asteroid field. Spock insists the only way to navigate through the copenhagen asteroid field without destroying the ship, and hence our lives, is to use the vulcan mind-meld. He is not aware of the KTC option. I have tried to explain to him the human logic of posting roll and the accountability that it brings every day. He cannot understand why it would be necessary to go post roll on a website and make a promise to a bunch of people you don't know just to ensure that you don't kill yourself every day. But, he's not human, and he is not an addict. I am both. And I am a Brother of May 2012, so I get it.
So, as we navigate the field of cope cans, I, Captain Kirk, remain diligent so that I may post roll again tomorrow. And so I can continue to have sex with weirdly hot alien chicks on prime time TV in the 70s.
......ok, those thoughts are a little strange and I am not even a big star trek fan. But, it was the only show my parents would allow me to watch that had hot, nearly naked chicks on it. My dad claimed to like the show, but looking back, I think he had a thing for alien chicks.
I promised myself a post today, and this is what came out. Take it for what it's worth. Somebody just trying to ward off a funk that is coming.
Great stuff Cpt. Kirk!!!!
I think its great when we get on here and just ramble like only us trying to recover addicts can do!
Keep on keeping on and posting everyday or those hott alien space chics will invade your dreams and punish you ............
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Day 57. Captain's log.
We have entered the UST Galaxy, and it is completely engulfed in a copenhagen asteroid field. Spock insists the only way to navigate through the copenhagen asteroid field without destroying the ship, and hence our lives, is to use the vulcan mind-meld. He is not aware of the KTC option. I have tried to explain to him the human logic of posting roll and the accountability that it brings every day. He cannot understand why it would be necessary to go post roll on a website and make a promise to a bunch of people you don't know just to ensure that you don't kill yourself every day. But, he's not human, and he is not an addict. I am both. And I am a Brother of May 2012, so I get it.
So, as we navigate the field of cope cans, I, Captain Kirk, remain diligent so that I may post roll again tomorrow. And so I can continue to have sex with weirdly hot alien chicks on prime time TV in the 70s.
......ok, those thoughts are a little strange and I am not even a big star trek fan. But, it was the only show my parents would allow me to watch that had hot, nearly naked chicks on it. My dad claimed to like the show, but looking back, I think he had a thing for alien chicks.
I promised myself a post today, and this is what came out. Take it for what it's worth. Somebody just trying to ward off a funk that is coming.
Thanks Rangy,
Now I had to google "hot, naked, hairy-three-toed-alien, porn"
What came up was NOT Star Trek, but oh well.
Keep up the solid quit.
Vadge
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Day 57. Captain's log.
We have entered the UST Galaxy, and it is completely engulfed in a copenhagen asteroid field. Spock insists the only way to navigate through the copenhagen asteroid field without destroying the ship, and hence our lives, is to use the vulcan mind-meld. He is not aware of the KTC option. I have tried to explain to him the human logic of posting roll and the accountability that it brings every day. He cannot understand why it would be necessary to go post roll on a website and make a promise to a bunch of people you don't know just to ensure that you don't kill yourself every day. But, he's not human, and he is not an addict. I am both. And I am a Brother of May 2012, so I get it.Â
So, as we navigate the field of cope cans, I, Captain Kirk, remain diligent so that I may post roll again tomorrow. And so I can continue to have sex with weirdly hot alien chicks on prime time TV in the 70s.
......ok, those thoughts are a little strange and I am not even a big star trek fan. But, it was the only show my parents would allow me to watch that had hot, nearly naked chicks on it. My dad claimed to like the show, but looking back, I think he had a thing for alien chicks.Â
I promised myself a post today, and this is what came out. Take it for what it's worth. Somebody just trying to ward off a funk that is coming.
Thanks Rangy,
Now I had to google "hot, naked, hairy-three-toed-alien, porn"
What came up was NOT Star Trek, but oh well.
Keep up the solid quit.
Vadge
Vadge has broaden his porn viewing 100 times over since joinin KTC
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Day 57. Captain's log.
We have entered the UST Galaxy, and it is completely engulfed in a copenhagen asteroid field. Spock insists the only way to navigate through the copenhagen asteroid field without destroying the ship, and hence our lives, is to use the vulcan mind-meld. He is not aware of the KTC option. I have tried to explain to him the human logic of posting roll and the accountability that it brings every day. He cannot understand why it would be necessary to go post roll on a website and make a promise to a bunch of people you don't know just to ensure that you don't kill yourself every day. But, he's not human, and he is not an addict. I am both. And I am a Brother of May 2012, so I get it.Â
So, as we navigate the field of cope cans, I, Captain Kirk, remain diligent so that I may post roll again tomorrow. And so I can continue to have sex with weirdly hot alien chicks on prime time TV in the 70s.
......ok, those thoughts are a little strange and I am not even a big star trek fan. But, it was the only show my parents would allow me to watch that had hot, nearly naked chicks on it. My dad claimed to like the show, but looking back, I think he had a thing for alien chicks.Â
I promised myself a post today, and this is what came out. Take it for what it's worth. Somebody just trying to ward off a funk that is coming.
Thanks Rangy,
Now I had to google "hot, naked, hairy-three-toed-alien, porn"
What came up was NOT Star Trek, but oh well.
Keep up the solid quit.
Vadge
Nice job Rangy! I am expecting either you or Vadge to come up with links for "hot, naked, hairy-three-toed-alien"
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I'm getting close to 60 days. Wow, almost 2 months. Never thought I'd get this far. I feel really good about it and know in my heart I won't ever dip again. I really do feel like ktc was great for getting me to this point but, honestly, I can't see myself staying here much longer. I won't need that. As a matter of fact, I think I could probably stop posting roll right now and be fine. All this "I am an addict" talk was great and was dramatic and helped me deal with this problem but I am in a better place now. I could probably even have a dip or 2 on the special occasion weekends because now I know how to quit.
THIS IS WHAT THE NIC BITCH WHISPERED TO ME THIS MORNING.
And she sounded so fucking good.
Then I read we lost a brother of may on his day 68. Caved.
I posted this morning and will continue to do so, even when the whispers fall silent for a while. She will be back.
But I will post and read and post and read until she is gone.
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I'm getting close to 60 days. Wow, almost 2 months. Never thought I'd get this far. I feel really good about it and know in my heart I won't ever dip again. I really do feel like ktc was great for getting me to this point but, honestly, I can't see myself staying here much longer. I won't need that. As a matter of fact, I think I could probably stop posting roll right now and be fine. All this "I am an addict" talk was great and was dramatic and helped me deal with this problem but I am in a better place now. I could probably even have a dip or 2 on the special occasion weekends because now I know how to quit.
THIS IS WHAT THE NIC BITCH WHISPERED TO ME THIS MORNING.
And she sounded so fucking good.
Then I read we lost a brother of may on his day 68. Caved.
I posted this morning and will continue to do so, even when the whispers fall silent for a while. She will be back.
But I will post and read and post and read until she is gone.
She is the enemy. A lying heathen. Empty and useless. You will control her. Make her your puppet.
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I'm getting close to 60 days. Wow, almost 2 months. Never thought I'd get this far. I feel really good about it and know in my heart I won't ever dip again. I really do feel like ktc was great for getting me to this point but, honestly, I can't see myself staying here much longer. I won't need that. As a matter of fact, I think I could probably stop posting roll right now and be fine. All this "I am an addict" talk was great and was dramatic and helped me deal with this problem but I am in a better place now. I could probably even have a dip or 2 on the special occasion weekends because now I know how to quit.
THIS IS WHAT THE NIC BITCH WHISPERED TO ME THIS MORNING.
And she sounded so fucking good.Â
Then I read we lost a brother of may on his day 68. Caved.Â
I posted this morning and will continue to do so, even when the whispers fall silent for a while. She will be back.
But I will post and read and post and read until she is gone.
She is the enemy. A lying heathen. Empty and useless. You will control her. Make her your puppet.
I started reading your post and I was ready to blow! Go view yesterday posts in July quiter to see what it is like without posting roll, we got a new member posting day 1 after caving on a 300 day quit. As I read on in your post I was glad you recognized the bitch for what she is, just that a conniving bitch.
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I'm getting close to 60 days. Wow, almost 2 months. Never thought I'd get this far. I feel really good about it and know in my heart I won't ever dip again. I really do feel like ktc was great for getting me to this point but, honestly, I can't see myself staying here much longer. I won't need that. As a matter of fact, I think I could probably stop posting roll right now and be fine. All this "I am an addict" talk was great and was dramatic and helped me deal with this problem but I am in a better place now. I could probably even have a dip or 2 on the special occasion weekends because now I know how to quit.
THIS IS WHAT THE NIC BITCH WHISPERED TO ME THIS MORNING.
And she sounded so fucking good.Â
Then I read we lost a brother of may on his day 68. Caved.Â
I posted this morning and will continue to do so, even when the whispers fall silent for a while. She will be back.
But I will post and read and post and read until she is gone.
She is the enemy. A lying heathen. Empty and useless. You will control her. Make her your puppet.
Tremendous post Rangy. I've had those same thoughts. Then, as you said, we witness someone with more days quit than ourselves cave. It is a sobering reminder that we have to stay vigilant and protect our quits.
Proud to be quit with you today!
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
HOLY SHIT...can it be the chosen one that will unite the tribes?
Seriously great stuff man. Absolutely spot on. Either quit or not quit. Either choose life or death.
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
Today has been a good day to read. Awesome post!!!!
You just scored 3 aha points and I am adding 2 more for style points. Congratulations you just earned a total of 5 points.
More importantly, I am honored proud to be quit with you.
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
HOLY SHIT...can it be the chosen one that will unite the tribes?
Seriously great stuff man. Absolutely spot on. Either quit or not quit. Either choose life or death.
Yeah, rangy's friggin' cool. May '12 dude. There's a couple badasses in there.
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
HOLY SHIT...can it be the chosen one that will unite the tribes?
Seriously great stuff man. Absolutely spot on. Either quit or not quit. Either choose life or death.
Yeah, rangy's friggin' cool. May '12 dude. There's a couple badasses in there.
Rangy's quit makes me wet
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I just posted what I would call my first real "advice" to someone on this website. I am "only" 62 days quit. After I finished writing it, I realized something. There is no "only" in front of number of days quit. There is only quit. I am as qualified to give advice as a guy quit for thousands of days. After one day of quit, I felt qualified to speak out on freedom, tobacco sucking, and everything else. I didn't, but I felt qualified to do so. Why did I feel qualified? Because I quit. For the first time in my life, I quit. I instantly knew the difference between quitting and pausing. Quitting FUCKING HURT! All the others were just pauses. In my heart I knew it was a pause, so it didn't hurt. Piss me off? Yes. Hurt? No.
What's the point? I guess that it took me 62 days to realize that I can talk like an old vet on this website if I want. There is no required number of days to be quit, there is only:
1. Quit.
2. Not Quit.
I am quit. You should be too. It's pretty cool.
HOLY SHIT...can it be the chosen one that will unite the tribes?
Seriously great stuff man. Absolutely spot on. Either quit or not quit. Either choose life or death.
Yeah, rangy's friggin' cool. May '12 dude. There's a couple badasses in there.
Rangy's quit makes me wet
:wub: :wub: :wub:
Well put. I too share the wetness
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I have experienced many firsts since joining ktc. Didn't expect this one either. I never really thought I would reach a moment where I would "need" a cell phone number of a quit brother. Sure, I had numbers, but never thought I would need them.
Big weekend. Going out to the woods with my dog to hike, shoot (sight in a new rifle!), and just be a dude. I am prepared. I got my smokey mountain, my cell phone, got it all. ~3 hours to my destination. Leave at 4 am. Arrive at sunup. It's raining and muddy as shit. Slide my ass all over the road. Arrive. Post Roll. Start unpacking and just automatically head to the truck to get my can of snuff out of the console where it always is. About 1/2 way there, I remember. Oops. No snuff in the woods today. Rain intensity increases, so I sit in the cabin with my pup watching it rain. My friends are late, so it's just me and the dog. Man I want some snuff. I start wigging out. Send a text to a quit brother telling him this has never happened before, but the nic bitch isn't whispering, she is screaming. He responds immediately. Says don't be a dumbass. Don't do it.
The moment I heard that stupid chime my phone makes when I get a text and I knew somebody was gonna be there to talk too, the bitch went silent. Completely silent.
I have always thought my quit was super strong, still do. But that little episode gave me a dose of humility I won't soon forget.
Got numbers? I would if I were you.
Stay quit people and KTC is the BOMB.
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Friday update. Day 71!
Still quit. One of my kids ask me about it last night, and it's really nice to enjoy talking about tobacco instead of the sight of it or mention of it making me fill up with guilt. I used to get scared when I saw someone else doing it when I was with my family for fear they would want to talk about it and I would have to decide whether to lie or fess up. They never asked, but if they would have I would have lied. It really hurts my feelings to admit that, but I know it's true. I am a junkie and am one dip away from returning to that junkie life.
I find that my anger at tobacco in general is increasing greatly. I can't decide if this anger is the result of my redirecting my anger at myself for being a piece of shit or the result of the reality that tobacco makers suck.
Probably a combination of both. Either way, I ain't dipping. They can't have me again. Fuck dip. I own that shit and will stare it down anytime (as long as I have my cell phone to text a quit brother that is).
Stay quit people. Stay quit.
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Friday update. Day 71!
Still quit. One of my kids ask me about it last night, and it's really nice to enjoy talking about tobacco instead of the sight of it or mention of it making me fill up with guilt. I used to get scared when I saw someone else doing it when I was with my family for fear they would want to talk about it and I would have to decide whether to lie or fess up. They never asked, but if they would have I would have lied. It really hurts my feelings to admit that, but I know it's true. I am a junkie and am one dip away from returning to that junkie life.
I find that my anger at tobacco in general is increasing greatly. I can't decide if this anger is the result of my redirecting my anger at myself for being a piece of shit or the result of the reality that tobacco makers suck.
Probably a combination of both. Either way, I ain't dipping. They can't have me again. Fuck dip. I own that shit and will stare it down anytime (as long as I have my cell phone to text a quit brother that is).
Stay quit people. Stay quit.
Good stuff bro!
The best part is your not in the fog and not trying to hide anything, you are enjoying the freedom from nicotene that most all of us has forgotten!
Keep winning this war one battle at a time bro!
I am in a similiar boat with my anger towards tobacco growing more rapidly than ever and I really believe its cause I can look back at where I was just a short time ago and think WOW was I just stupid, I kept killing myself slowly everyday! The worst thing is I was drinking their Kool-aid not this Kool-aid!
Now we are drinking the freedom kool-aid and getting quit stronger everyday!
Stay strong Stay focused Stay QUIT!!!!!!
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Friday update. Day 71!
Still quit. One of my kids ask me about it last night, and it's really nice to enjoy talking about tobacco instead of the sight of it or mention of it making me fill up with guilt. I used to get scared when I saw someone else doing it when I was with my family for fear they would want to talk about it and I would have to decide whether to lie or fess up. They never asked, but if they would have I would have lied. It really hurts my feelings to admit that, but I know it's true. I am a junkie and am one dip away from returning to that junkie life.Â
I find that my anger at tobacco in general is increasing greatly. I can't decide if this anger is the result of my redirecting my anger at myself for being a piece of shit or the result of the reality that tobacco makers suck.Â
Probably a combination of both. Either way, I ain't dipping. They can't have me again. Fuck dip. I own that shit and will stare it down anytime (as long as I have my cell phone to text a quit brother that is).
Stay quit people. Stay quit.
Great story, bro. I believe that getting and staying angry (at tobacco) keeps you strong. You, and all of us, have earned the right to be angry at big tobacco, just as they earned our hard-earned dollars for their addictive product.
Some people (like my brother) rationalize that getting angry at big tobacco makes no sense, since they are just a business out to make a profit, and us addicts made conscious decisions to use their products. That argument holds no water with me, though. Us addicts made conscious decisions to use their products?
Ask yourself how long you wanted to quit but didn't think you could. I wanted to quit for at least the last decade. Certainly since my daughter was born 12 years ago. I never thought I could. I could not envision a life without that product in my face and bloodstream.
Thanks to KTC and you fine folks, now I can. And now that I can, I am angry.
Stay strong.
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My Next Dip
A short story about carcy the carcinogen by rangy96, Ph.D.
It's been a long day. Stress, divorce, pregnant teenage daughter (insert your stressful event here), and many other things are driving me to take this dip. But I gotta have it. So, here goes. Umm that's good.
......meanwhile
As the tobacco touches my cheek and gum, a small molecule known as a carcinogen (aka carcy) enters a single cell in my cheek by slipping through the membrane of my cheek cell. He can do that because he is small and slippery. Carcy then floats around and bumps into some DNA that makes a tumor supressor. No big deal, he just hangs there. Now my cheek cell decides it's time to divide, so it starts copying all its genes. While its copying, carcy is waiting. When his little section of DNA gets copied, he fucks it up. So now my cheek cell is two cheek cells and one of them has a fucked up tumor supressor. What's a tumor supressor you ask? Just what it says. I view them as little cops that patrol and make sure there ain't no dividing going on that shouldn't be So now I have a cell with a tumor supressor that has been wounded by Carcy. Carcy is cold and calculating so he didn't kill my tumor supressor this time, just wounded him. Sheriff Tumor Supressor is on patrol, but his gun doesn't work.
Time for my cell to divide, so he does so. Then divides again. And again. Then Sheriff Tumor Supressor is over run. There is chaos in my cell, terror in my cell, because all the people in there can see what is happening. All the wives, all the kids, all the parents, all the people who told you not to dip can see it. You have wounded Sherrif Tumor Supressor and he has been killed. Riots, killing, looting, more division, more division, more division, more division, a battle to the death. My Death.
.....meanwhile
Umm that dip was good. I think I can live with just that one. Put up the snuff, post a day one, and move on. No big deal. I got away with one.
........2 wks later.
What's that little bump? Probably nothing. Though I did have a dip a while back............I'm sure it's nothing. I mean I did that crap forever and one more couldn't have been the one to cause something. Right?
What follows over the next year:
1. Shame
2. Despair
3. Agony
4. Regret
5. Guilt
6. DEATH
THE END
When I was in my third year of graduate school, I was working on some genes and proteins from a species of yeast used to make millet beer in Africa. One day, we got big news. One of the genes I had cloned and purified protein from was a tumor supressor homologue. Cancer research is easier to fund than basic research, so that's why the news was big. At any rate, this led me to become reasonably well versed in what tumor supressors are and what they do. It's been a long time since I considered myself reasonably well educated on the topic, but I remember enough to make up the story here that might motivate somebody. I picture the events in the story happening to me if I think I can have just one. Because it really is that easy. One fucked up gene and your a dead man.
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My Next Dip
A short story about carcy the carcinogen by rangy96, Ph.D.
It's been a long day. Stress, divorce, pregnant teenage daughter (insert your stressful event here), and many other things are driving me to take this dip. But I gotta have it. So, here goes. Umm that's good.
......meanwhile
As the tobacco touches my cheek and gum, a small molecule known as a carcinogen (aka carcy) enters a single cell in my cheek by slipping through the membrane of my cheek cell. He can do that because he is small and slippery. Carcy then floats around and bumps into some DNA that makes a tumor supressor. No big deal, he just hangs there. Now my cheek cell decides it's time to divide, so it starts copying all its genes. While its copying, carcy is waiting. When his little section of DNA gets copied, he fucks it up. So now my cheek cell is two cheek cells and one of them has a fucked up tumor supressor. What's a tumor supressor you ask? Just what it says. I view them as little cops that patrol and make sure there ain't no dividing going on that shouldn't be So now I have a cell with a tumor supressor that has been wounded by Carcy. Carcy is cold and calculating so he didn't kill my tumor supressor this time, just wounded him. Sheriff Tumor Supressor is on patrol, but his gun doesn't work.
Time for my cell to divide, so he does so. Then divides again. And again. Then Sheriff Tumor Supressor is over run. There is chaos in my cell, terror in my cell, because all the people in there can see what is happening. All the wives, all the kids, all the parents, all the people who told you not to dip can see it. You have wounded Sherrif Tumor Supressor and he has been killed. Riots, killing, looting, more division, more division, more division, more division, a battle to the death. My Death.
.....meanwhile
Umm that dip was good. I think I can live with just that one. Put up the snuff, post a day one, and move on. No big deal. I got away with one.
........2 wks later.
What's that little bump? Probably nothing. Though I did have a dip a while back............I'm sure it's nothing. I mean I did that crap forever and one more couldn't have been the one to cause something. Right?
What follows over the next year:
1. Shame
2. Despair
3. Agony
4. Regret
5. Guilt
6. DEATH
THE END
When I was in my third year of graduate school, I was working on some genes and proteins from a species of yeast used to make millet beer in Africa. One day, we got big news. One of the genes I had cloned and purified protein from was a tumor supressor homologue. Cancer research is easier to fund than basic research, so that's why the news was big. At any rate, this led me to become reasonably well versed in what tumor supressors are and what they do. It's been a long time since I considered myself reasonably well educated on the topic, but I remember enough to make up the story here that might motivate somebody. I picture the events in the story happening to me if I think I can have just one. Because it really is that easy. One fucked up gene and your a dead man.
Wow Rangy, that is powerful and adds to my quit. Thanks Bro!
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My Next Dip
A short story about carcy the carcinogen by rangy96, Ph.D.
It's been a long day. Stress, divorce, pregnant teenage daughter (insert your stressful event here), and many other things are driving me to take this dip. But I gotta have it. So, here goes. Umm that's good.
......meanwhile
As the tobacco touches my cheek and gum, a small molecule known as a carcinogen (aka carcy) enters a single cell in my cheek by slipping through the membrane of my cheek cell. He can do that because he is small and slippery. Carcy then floats around and bumps into some DNA that makes a tumor supressor. No big deal, he just hangs there. Now my cheek cell decides it's time to divide, so it starts copying all its genes. While its copying, carcy is waiting. When his little section of DNA gets copied, he fucks it up. So now my cheek cell is two cheek cells and one of them has a fucked up tumor supressor. What's a tumor supressor you ask? Just what it says. I view them as little cops that patrol and make sure there ain't no dividing going on that shouldn't be So now I have a cell with a tumor supressor that has been wounded by Carcy. Carcy is cold and calculating so he didn't kill my tumor supressor this time, just wounded him. Sheriff Tumor Supressor is on patrol, but his gun doesn't work.Â
Time for my cell to divide, so he does so. Then divides again. And again. Then Sheriff Tumor Supressor is over run. There is chaos in my cell, terror in my cell, because all the people in there can see what is happening. All the wives, all the kids, all the parents, all the people who told you not to dip can see it. You have wounded Sherrif Tumor Supressor and he has been killed. Riots, killing, looting, more division, more division, more division, more division, a battle to the death. My Death.
Â
.....meanwhile
Umm that dip was good. I think I can live with just that one. Put up the snuff, post a day one, and move on. No big deal. I got away with one.Â
........2 wks later.
What's that little bump? Probably nothing. Though I did have a dip a while back............I'm sure it's nothing. I mean I did that crap forever and one more couldn't have been the one to cause something. Right?
What follows over the next year:
1. Shame
2. Despair
3. Agony
4. Regret
5. Guilt
6. DEATH
THE END
When I was in my third year of graduate school, I was working on some genes and proteins from a species of yeast used to make millet beer in Africa. One day, we got big news. One of the genes I had cloned and purified protein from was a tumor supressor homologue. Cancer research is easier to fund than basic research, so that's why the news was big. At any rate, this led me to become reasonably well versed in what tumor supressors are and what they do. It's been a long time since I considered myself reasonably well educated on the topic, but I remember enough to make up the story here that might motivate somebody. I picture the events in the story happening to me if I think I can have just one. Because it really is that easy. One fucked up gene and your a dead man.
Wow Rangy, that is powerful and adds to my quit. Thanks Bro!
Very powerful and very informative thanks for sharing!
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My Next Dip
A short story about carcy the carcinogen by rangy96, Ph.D.
It's been a long day. Stress, divorce, pregnant teenage daughter (insert your stressful event here), and many other things are driving me to take this dip. But I gotta have it. So, here goes. Umm that's good.
......meanwhile
As the tobacco touches my cheek and gum, a small molecule known as a carcinogen (aka carcy) enters a single cell in my cheek by slipping through the membrane of my cheek cell. He can do that because he is small and slippery. Carcy then floats around and bumps into some DNA that makes a tumor supressor. No big deal, he just hangs there. Now my cheek cell decides it's time to divide, so it starts copying all its genes. While its copying, carcy is waiting. When his little section of DNA gets copied, he fucks it up. So now my cheek cell is two cheek cells and one of them has a fucked up tumor supressor. What's a tumor supressor you ask? Just what it says. I view them as little cops that patrol and make sure there ain't no dividing going on that shouldn't be So now I have a cell with a tumor supressor that has been wounded by Carcy. Carcy is cold and calculating so he didn't kill my tumor supressor this time, just wounded him. Sheriff Tumor Supressor is on patrol, but his gun doesn't work.Â
Time for my cell to divide, so he does so. Then divides again. And again. Then Sheriff Tumor Supressor is over run. There is chaos in my cell, terror in my cell, because all the people in there can see what is happening. All the wives, all the kids, all the parents, all the people who told you not to dip can see it. You have wounded Sherrif Tumor Supressor and he has been killed. Riots, killing, looting, more division, more division, more division, more division, a battle to the death. My Death.
Â
.....meanwhile
Umm that dip was good. I think I can live with just that one. Put up the snuff, post a day one, and move on. No big deal. I got away with one.Â
........2 wks later.
What's that little bump? Probably nothing. Though I did have a dip a while back............I'm sure it's nothing. I mean I did that crap forever and one more couldn't have been the one to cause something. Right?
What follows over the next year:
1. Shame
2. Despair
3. Agony
4. Regret
5. Guilt
6. DEATH
THE END
When I was in my third year of graduate school, I was working on some genes and proteins from a species of yeast used to make millet beer in Africa. One day, we got big news. One of the genes I had cloned and purified protein from was a tumor supressor homologue. Cancer research is easier to fund than basic research, so that's why the news was big. At any rate, this led me to become reasonably well versed in what tumor supressors are and what they do. It's been a long time since I considered myself reasonably well educated on the topic, but I remember enough to make up the story here that might motivate somebody. I picture the events in the story happening to me if I think I can have just one. Because it really is that easy. One fucked up gene and your a dead man.
Wow Rangy, that is powerful and adds to my quit. Thanks Bro!
I'm with Tony! Wow!
I'm quit hope it's not to late.
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Today is a big day for the brother's of May. Two guys entering the HOF today so I am using that as an excuse to share something. I have only had two dip dreams in my quit. The first one was no big deal and didn't bother me too much. Then last night I had a doozy. Probably because of the whole HOF thing in our greoup today (Ric and NP). You know how dreams don't make sense sometime, well this one didn't either. No preface or understanding of how I got where I was, but I am in my bathroom where I open up a new can of copenhagen and stuff some in my face, then my wife walks in. i quickly try to hide the can, but she sees it and then I remember all the quit stuff. Brothers of May etc, all the texts and how my 75 day is all gone. I start screaming in the dream, begging for forgiveness, etc and seriously, not making this shit up, wake up sweating.
I have never woken up sweating from a dream in my life. Well now I have and it sucked. Man the nic bitch hangs on tight. I hate her ass. What a piece of shit.
Just wanted to throw that out there.
Stay quit and big time congrats to Ric and NP. Way to go fellas.
rangy.
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Today is a big day for the brother's of May. Two guys entering the HOF today so I am using that as an excuse to share something. I have only had two dip dreams in my quit. The first one was no big deal and didn't bother me too much. Then last night I had a doozy. Probably because of the whole HOF thing in our greoup today (Ric and NP). You know how dreams don't make sense sometime, well this one didn't either. No preface or understanding of how I got where I was, but I am in my bathroom where I open up a new can of copenhagen and stuff some in my face, then my wife walks in. i quickly try to hide the can, but she sees it and then I remember all the quit stuff. Brothers of May etc, all the texts and how my 75 day is all gone. I start screaming in the dream, begging for forgiveness, etc and seriously, not making this shit up, wake up sweating.
I have never woken up sweating from a dream in my life. Well now I have and it sucked. Man the nic bitch hangs on tight. I hate her ass. What a piece of shit.
Just wanted to throw that out there.
Stay quit and big time congrats to Ric and NP. Way to go fellas.
rangy.
You will not cave. You are a badass. Don't sweat the dreams; over the years I've come to the conclusion that your subconscious gets a kick out of f-ing with you sometimes. You're at the helm of the bobsled, bro.
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Today is a big day for the brother's of May. Two guys entering the HOF today so I am using that as an excuse to share something. I have only had two dip dreams in my quit. The first one was no big deal and didn't bother me too much. Then last night I had a doozy. Probably because of the whole HOF thing in our greoup today (Ric and NP). You know how dreams don't make sense sometime, well this one didn't either. No preface or understanding of how I got where I was, but I am in my bathroom where I open up a new can of copenhagen and stuff some in my face, then my wife walks in. i quickly try to hide the can, but she sees it and then I remember all the quit stuff. Brothers of May etc, all the texts and how my 75 day is all gone. I start screaming in the dream, begging for forgiveness, etc and seriously, not making this shit up, wake up sweating.
I have never woken up sweating from a dream in my life. Well now I have and it sucked. Man the nic bitch hangs on tight. I hate her ass. What a piece of shit.
Just wanted to throw that out there.Â
Stay quit and big time congrats to Ric and NP. Way to go fellas.
rangy.
You will not cave. You are a badass. Don't sweat the dreams; over the years I've come to the conclusion that your subconscious gets a kick out of f-ing with you sometimes. You're at the helm of the bobsled, bro.
Those dreams are the worst bro but in a strange way they really make your quit stronger!
The best thing is the ability to come to a place and express those dreams to guys who have been dealing with them for awhile!
We are your quit bro's and thats our job listen advise and help carry-on!
You are kicking nic's ass and well she doesnt like it and will try to keep getting after you especially when you may seem your weakest! You are NOT WEAK!!!
You are a badass quiter and you are winning the war!
Stay Strong Bro!!!
Stay Focused!!!!
Stay Quit!!!
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Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
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Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what your saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
Great post! Love to celebrate victories!!!
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
Great post! Love to celebrate victories!!!
Those days sure add up. I have to double take sometimes when I look at my number that is closing on 300. KTC = genius. So the key is not forgetting that and continuing to embrace the principles every day. Small amount of effort to stay FREE.
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
Great post! Love to celebrate victories!!!
Those days sure add up. I have to double take sometimes when I look at my number that is closing on 300. KTC = genius. So the key is not forgetting that and continuing to embrace the principles every day. Small amount of effort to stay FREE.
Great post Rangy! I have had the same feeling many times. I just can't believe it sometimes.
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
Great post! Love to celebrate victories!!!
Those days sure add up. I have to double take sometimes when I look at my number that is closing on 300. KTC = genius. So the key is not forgetting that and continuing to embrace the principles every day. Small amount of effort to stay FREE.
Great post Rangy! I have had the same feeling many times. I just can't believe it sometimes.
Love those great days! Every day quit is great but sometimes it is just so great I refer to it as the intoxication of freedom, and I know that if nic users could just taste a little of it they would all quit in an instant there is nothing worth trading that feeling for!
Rangy you are turning into a monster a of quit, love watching you dominate this shit!
-
Day 92. I can't even believe I am saying that. That's three fucking months. Never in my live did I think I would be able to say I haven't had a dip in 3 months. This is fucking monumental. This is like a giant pillar of quit piercing up out of the earth and towering over Everest. And do you realize, if I keep doing this, there is no reason I won't be able to say I haven't had a dip in a year. Good God Almighty yall.
Sorry, but I am completely overwhelmed by the power of KTC and one day at a time and today, I feel like sayin it.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Great stuff there!
I know exactly what our saying and its quite true.
Keep on quiting quiter you day is comming soon!
Excellent Rangy...nothing else to say but Excellent 'party'
Great post! Love to celebrate victories!!!
Those days sure add up. I have to double take sometimes when I look at my number that is closing on 300. KTC = genius. So the key is not forgetting that and continuing to embrace the principles every day. Small amount of effort to stay FREE.
Great post Rangy! I have had the same feeling many times. I just can't believe it sometimes.
Love those great days! Every day quit is great but sometimes it is just so great I refer to it as the intoxication of freedom, and I know that if nic users could just taste a little of it they would all quit in an instant there is nothing worth trading that feeling for!
Rangy you are turning into a monster a of quit, love watching you dominate this shit!
Nothing like a cool glass of Kool-Aid every morning.
Well Done!!!
-
One of the greatest things about KTC is the encouragement. I didn't reallly realize how devoid of encouragement my life was until a week or so ago. I am not complaining as my wife is great, parents great, all good. But, I am a parent now so it is my job to give encouragement, not get it. My job is low on encouragement just because that is the way it is, nobody's fault. So again, not complaining, just saying.
The kind words and encouragement I have received from you bunch of stangers has been very uplifting. And it has taught me a lesson. Encouraging words have more power than I ever realized. They carried me through a quit. Imagine what they can do for someone who is already good at something or someone who isn't embracing the suck.
So, to all of you, thanks. And keep on kicking nicotine's ass, and life's ass. Keep on doing the great job you are doing.
And pass it forward in the form of an atta boy.
Damn it's good to be quit with KTC.
-
One of the greatest things about KTC is the encouragement. I didn't reallly realize how devoid of encouragement my life was until a week or so ago. I am not complaining as my wife is great, parents great, all good. But, I am a parent now so it is my job to give encouragement, not get it. My job is low on encouragement just because that is the way it is, nobody's fault. So again, not complaining, just saying.
The kind words and encouragement I have received from you bunch of stangers has been very uplifting. And it has taught me a lesson. Encouraging words have more power than I ever realized. They carried me through a quit. Imagine what they can do for someone who is already good at something or someone who isn't embracing the suck.
So, to all of you, thanks. And keep on kicking nicotine's ass, and life's ass. Keep on doing the great job you are doing.
And pass it forward in the form of an atta boy.
Damn it's good to be quit with KTC.
Good stuff brother!
Stay awesome stay quit!
-
One of the greatest things about KTC is the encouragement. I didn't reallly realize how devoid of encouragement my life was until a week or so ago. I am not complaining as my wife is great, parents great, all good. But, I am a parent now so it is my job to give encouragement, not get it. My job is low on encouragement just because that is the way it is, nobody's fault. So again, not complaining, just saying.
The kind words and encouragement I have received from you bunch of stangers has been very uplifting. And it has taught me a lesson. Encouraging words have more power than I ever realized. They carried me through a quit. Imagine what they can do for someone who is already good at something or someone who isn't embracing the suck.
So, to all of you, thanks. And keep on kicking nicotine's ass, and life's ass. Keep on doing the great job you are doing.
And pass it forward in the form of an atta boy.
Damn it's good to be quit with KTC.
I have had much the same feelings. In my case I believe I isolated myself in order to be in my fantasy world with nicotine. Often avoided opportunities to be with people who would have been there for me if they knew what I needed.
The thought of total strangers caring about each other like we experience here is so foreign to me that I am in awe daily. I have always tried to help my neighbors and friends, and have felt uplifted by so doing. But sharing and receiving this encouragement from strangers?? I feel like a member of a new family.
I also say thanks, Rangy your support and encouragement are greatly appreciated.
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.
fuck me.
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.
fuck me.
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"Â
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.Â
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.Â
fuck me.Â
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
Amazing it's everywhere! Great job!
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"Â
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.Â
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.Â
fuck me.Â
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
Amazing it's everywhere! Great job!
Some badass quit brother!!!
Way to stay strong and so you know your not a junkie you are a bad ass quiter of may who is beating the bitch back!!!!!!
Very proud of you brother!
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.
fuck me.
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
And remember everyone of "those guys" you saw with a dip in is getting the same exact thing you got in return when you had a dip in. Nothing! Way to stay strong
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.
fuck me.
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Don't feel sorry for yourself, you are on the road to freedom. You should feel sorry for those poor stinky breath bastards that have a big ball and chain attached. Way to hang tough.
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"Â
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.Â
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.Â
fuck me.Â
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
Amazing it's everywhere! Great job!
Some badass quit brother!!!
Way to stay strong and so you know your not a junkie you are a bad ass quiter of may who is beating the bitch back!!!!!!
Very proud of you brother!
nice quit rangy. That's good stuff. Thanks for the heads up (for my next trip to the park).
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"Â
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.Â
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.Â
fuck me.Â
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
Amazing it's everywhere! Great job!
Some badass quit brother!!!
Way to stay strong and so you know your not a junkie you are a bad ass quiter of may who is beating the bitch back!!!!!!
Very proud of you brother!
nice quit rangy. That's good stuff. Thanks for the heads up (for my next trip to the park).
You stared the demon in the eyes.
He flinched. You didn't.
Very proud of you man.
Keep up the good work. Everyday.
-
hittin a major funk. went to an astros game last night, which i never do. about 25 college kids all around us. many dippers. guy next to me opens up a can of copenhagen (new can) and pops in a dip in the top of the 1st. I suddenly become acutely aware of many things. I can smell every grain of tobacco in minute maid park, i notice every time sombody spits in a can. I see the catcher pull his mask up and spit underneath it. Craves are passing in waves through me. I can see everyone who is dipping and I want a dip very, very badly.
Weird as shit. I tell my wife, "Look, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, and that guy are all dipping." She says "Your weird". Then says, "You OK?"Â
It passses and I am OK. Still a friggin addict though.Â
Still a junky ass friggin addict. And still want a dip.Â
fuck me.Â
Not gonna do it though. but feeling pretty sorry for myself today.
Way to fight through the triggers.
Amazing it's everywhere! Great job!
Some badass quit brother!!!
Way to stay strong and so you know your not a junkie you are a bad ass quiter of may who is beating the bitch back!!!!!!
Very proud of you brother!
nice quit rangy. That's good stuff. Thanks for the heads up (for my next trip to the park).
You stared the demon in the eyes.
He flinched. You didn't.
Very proud of you man.
Keep up the good work. Everyday.
yes.....fuck that....not sure you say my post from this weekend in Vegas.....personally, I think you were lucky seeing a bunch of hairy ass retards spitting in a can in 100 degree heat......
not that this is a competition or anything.....but while you were sweating your balls off.....I was at The Wynn in Vegas......losing money....bombed out of my mind.......and the Bitch.....comes....yes....wearing a short skirt.....stockings.......tits sticking out........
wait for it........................
"Cigarettes.....Cigars.....Cigarillos....."
Really?
Drunk. Losing money. Hot Nic Bitch. Giving away $40 cubans for free.
Sweaty in Houston. Losing money in Vegas.
The CUNT is everywhere........FUCK HER
-
Day 185.
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand. 6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
-
Day 185.
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand. 6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand. 6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
We get it! It is awesome. we are a bad ass bunch of of strong willed quitters that have found each other and are on this journey together! I'm glad to quit with you!
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
We get it! It is awesome. we are a bad ass bunch of of strong willed quitters that have found each other and are on this journey together! I'm glad to quit with you!
Sometimes just being here lends more insight than saying anything at all. Congrats on your milestone and keep rolling day by day. QLAFM
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
We get it! It is awesome. we are a bad ass bunch of of strong willed quitters that have found each other and are on this journey together! I'm glad to quit with you!
Sometimes just being here lends more insight than saying anything at all. Congrats on your milestone and keep rolling day by day. QLAFM
Very proud of you man.
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
We get it! It is awesome. we are a bad ass bunch of of strong willed quitters that have found each other and are on this journey together! I'm glad to quit with you!
Sometimes just being here lends more insight than saying anything at all. Congrats on your milestone and keep rolling day by day. QLAFM
Very proud of you man.
Nice conversation Rangy! It is great to have people to talk to that understand where you have been and what you have accomplished.
On the other hand, I'm going to be quit for a long, long time, so 193 days seems like just getting started...
Quit with you today bro.
-
Day 185.Â
Yesterday was 6 months. 1/2 a fucking year.Â
I am dreaming of this conversation, but for some reason non-addicts don't always want me to sit around and talk about how great it is to be quit, so I use my imagination.
Random Person says "How long you been quit?"
I get to say "6 months".
Random person says "Wow, that's really good"
I get to say "I know"
Random person says "How did you do it?"
I say "Kill the Can.org"
Random person says "What's that"
I reply "A website that contains some of the finest people on earth and more truth than can be found just about anywhere"
Random person says "Huh"
I say, "Never mind, I quit cold turkey"
They say "Oh, now I get you".
Even in my imagination, people are sometimes morons.
I have found that the wonder and awe I experience reading things on KTC doesn't happen to everyone. I will sometimes be rambling on about some great truth I discovered here and people just get a glazed over look or even better, their eyes are saying "Is this guy crazy?"
So I shut up and come here with brothers that understand. We must celebrate victories and I need some people that understand.  6 months. Hell yeah. Suck it nic bitch. Suck it.Â
you good people keep quitting one day at a time.
Hey buddy.. congrats! fuckin 6 months! I feel you.. I here you.. I know what it takes.. Hold that fucking head up high..
I always relate to your posts. sometimes people are really friggin (ignant)
We got your back buddy, and proud to quit with you today!
You sir are one helluva quitter!!! Congrats on kicking the NIC bitches ass for six whole months. Proud to be quit with you.
Kstamp
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Congrats!!
We get it! It is awesome. we are a bad ass bunch of of strong willed quitters that have found each other and are on this journey together! I'm glad to quit with you!
Sometimes just being here lends more insight than saying anything at all. Congrats on your milestone and keep rolling day by day. QLAFM
Very proud of you man.
Nice conversation Rangy! It is great to have people to talk to that understand where you have been and what you have accomplished.
On the other hand, I'm going to be quit for a long, long time, so 193 days seems like just getting started...
Quit with you today bro.
Freedom is delicious. Hit that freedom buffet again tomorrow! Great job.
-
200
Feels really good. My last and greatest fear was conquered on days 198 and 199. Hunting season opened on Saturday and I was camping and hunting with two old college buddies that both dip. Grizzly Wintergreen for one and Copenhagen for the other. I watched them both eat snuff all weekend and had a couple of moments where I really really wanted to have "just one". Because of KTC I know that isn't an option for me. I told them both quitting can be done...............they aren't interested.
I watched them both wander around each morning looking for their can of snuff from the night before. I could see the anxiety on their faces as they considered what they would have to do if they could'nt find it. I felt sorry for them. My goal between now and next year is to find a way to get them to see what they are doing to themselves and get them to quit for themselves...............not sure how to do that one.
To top off my wonderful weekend, got up this morning and my youngest daughter decorated my house with "Happy 200 day" signs. There's like 20 of them.
I don't think day 200 is going to work out bad at all.
Day 200 and I am quit. With all of KTC.
-
200
Feels really good. My last and greatest fear was conquered on days 198 and 199. Hunting season opened on Saturday and I was camping and hunting with two old college buddies that both dip. Grizzly Wintergreen for one and Copenhagen for the other. I watched them both eat snuff all weekend and had a couple of moments where I really really wanted to have "just one". Because of KTC I know that isn't an option for me. I told them both quitting can be done...............they aren't interested.
I watched them both wander around each morning looking for their can of snuff from the night before. I could see the anxiety on their faces as they considered what they would have to do if they could'nt find it. I felt sorry for them. My goal between now and next year is to find a way to get them to see what they are doing to themselves and get them to quit for themselves...............not sure how to do that one.
To top off my wonderful weekend, got up this morning and my youngest daughter decorated my house with "Happy 200 day" signs. There's like 20 of them.
I don't think day 200 is going to work out bad at all.
Day 200 and I am quit. With all of KTC.
simply awesome.. I feel you with your friends, My BIL dips swallows for 30 yrs. trying to get him to follow my lead. If it doesn't work we can say we tried. main thing is your quit is strong.. keep it up.. we're proud to quit with you!
-
http://espn.go.com/dallas/mlb/story/_/i ... ng-tobacco (http://espn.go.com/dallas/mlb/story/_/id/8490251/josh-hamilton-waited-quit-chewing-tobacco)
Holy shit Nolan Ryan. What's wrong with you.
-
Couple of days ago I hit 300. It was badass. So badass that everyone in my family has sort of forgotten about it. When it's been long enough that the family's state of mind his "Yea, he quit a long time ago" not......."what day is it?" then I feel that is the best compliment I can get.
My KTC buds didn't forget though because they are junkies like me.
I realized yesterday that a part of me will always love Copenskank. The weak, selfish little man part of me. The weak selfish little man in me often times rears his ugly head. He never dies, and at times his incessant whining pierces through all common sense or decency and says............"Just one will be OK, your super stressed right now and it would really help and you can always quit tomorrow". That weak little man pisses me off and I wish I could kill him.
Can't though. He is me.
So, I guess you guys will have to keep me in line. Post and read. Post and read.
Onward to 400.
-
Haven't posted here in a long time. probably should more often but never feel like i have anything profound to say. But today I will say it anyway.
Couple of weeks ago, watching the show "Elementary" which is only sorta good but the wife likes it. At any rate, the main character is drug addict. I am watching with my wife and daughter. Near the end of the show he is explaining why he can't accept his 1 year clean chip from narcotics anonymous or whatever it is called. He has previously given excuses like "those chips are stupid, don't need that etc." Near the end he fesses up and says that "The day after I went into rehab, I snuck out and got another fix so my 1 year date is actually 1 day later than everyone thinks." He then gets quiet for a second and restates this fact with considerable disgust, "Less than 24 hours after promising myself and everyone that I was going to quit I did it again."
For some reason, this hit me really hard. Got a lump in my throat and thought about the 1000s of times I lied to my wife, kids, and self about "quitting". Almost teared up a bit (Ok I did).
I LIED to myself. I said I am in control. I said I can quit tomorrow, no problem. I can quit Friday, no problem. I can quit next monday, no problem. I can quit after I finish this project. I can quit at the end of the year. I am quit right now.
The truth? I am helpless against nicotine without help. Always will be. That shit owns my ass. The day I forget that is the day it controls me again and I start lying to me and everyone around me again.
-
Haven't posted here in a long time. probably should more often but never feel like i have anything profound to say. But today I will say it anyway.
Couple of weeks ago, watching the show "Elementary" which is only sorta good but the wife likes it. At any rate, the main character is drug addict. I am watching with my wife and daughter. Near the end of the show he is explaining why he can't accept his 1 year clean chip from narcotics anonymous or whatever it is called. He has previously given excuses like "those chips are stupid, don't need that etc." Near the end he fesses up and says that "The day after I went into rehab, I snuck out and got another fix so my 1 year date is actually 1 day later than everyone thinks." He then gets quiet for a second and restates this fact with considerable disgust, "Less than 24 hours after promising myself and everyone that I was going to quit I did it again."
For some reason, this hit me really hard. Got a lump in my throat and thought about the 1000s of times I lied to my wife, kids, and self about "quitting". Almost teared up a bit (Ok I did).
I LIED to myself. I said I am in control. I said I can quit tomorrow, no problem. I can quit Friday, no problem. I can quit next monday, no problem. I can quit after I finish this project. I can quit at the end of the year. I am quit right now.
The truth? I am helpless against nicotine without help. Always will be. That shit owns my ass. The day I forget that is the day it controls me again and I start lying to me and everyone around me again.
Very well said. I've been a bit complacent around the site lately, still posting roll every day and support in other rolls most days but not much besides that. I'm fine with that but I know full well that I can never be complacent with my quit. One taste of nicotine and I'll be back to slowly killing myself with a mouth full of shame and lieing to myself and my loved ones. Not today though I posted roll.
Damn proud to quit with you today rangy, thanks for posting in here you made my quit stronger today.
-
Haven't posted here in a long time. probably should more often but never feel like i have anything profound to say. But today I will say it anyway.
Couple of weeks ago, watching the show "Elementary" which is only sorta good but the wife likes it. At any rate, the main character is drug addict. I am watching with my wife and daughter. Near the end of the show he is explaining why he can't accept his 1 year clean chip from narcotics anonymous or whatever it is called. He has previously given excuses like "those chips are stupid, don't need that etc." Near the end he fesses up and says that "The day after I went into rehab, I snuck out and got another fix so my 1 year date is actually 1 day later than everyone thinks." He then gets quiet for a second and restates this fact with considerable disgust, "Less than 24 hours after promising myself and everyone that I was going to quit I did it again."
For some reason, this hit me really hard. Got a lump in my throat and thought about the 1000s of times I lied to my wife, kids, and self about "quitting". Almost teared up a bit (Ok I did).Â
I LIED to myself. I said I am in control. I said I can quit tomorrow, no problem. I can quit Friday, no problem. I can quit next monday, no problem. I can quit after I finish this project. I can quit at the end of the year. I am quit right now.
The truth? I am helpless against nicotine without help. Always will be. That shit owns my ass. The day I forget that is the day it controls me again and I start lying to me and everyone around me again.
Very well said. I've been a bit complacent around the site lately, still posting roll every day and support in other rolls most days but not much besides that. I'm fine with that but I know full well that I can never be complacent with my quit. One taste of nicotine and I'll be back to slowly killing myself with a mouth full of shame and lieing to myself and my loved ones. Not today though I posted roll.
Damn proud to quit with you today rangy, thanks for posting in here you made my quit stronger today.
Both of you strengthen my quit also. Rangy I saw that episode also and was also reminded of my addiction and this path we are on.
-
Haven't posted here in a long time. probably should more often but never feel like i have anything profound to say. But today I will say it anyway.
Couple of weeks ago, watching the show "Elementary" which is only sorta good but the wife likes it. At any rate, the main character is drug addict. I am watching with my wife and daughter. Near the end of the show he is explaining why he can't accept his 1 year clean chip from narcotics anonymous or whatever it is called. He has previously given excuses like "those chips are stupid, don't need that etc." Near the end he fesses up and says that "The day after I went into rehab, I snuck out and got another fix so my 1 year date is actually 1 day later than everyone thinks." He then gets quiet for a second and restates this fact with considerable disgust, "Less than 24 hours after promising myself and everyone that I was going to quit I did it again."
For some reason, this hit me really hard. Got a lump in my throat and thought about the 1000s of times I lied to my wife, kids, and self about "quitting". Almost teared up a bit (Ok I did).Â
I LIED to myself. I said I am in control. I said I can quit tomorrow, no problem. I can quit Friday, no problem. I can quit next monday, no problem. I can quit after I finish this project. I can quit at the end of the year. I am quit right now.
The truth? I am helpless against nicotine without help. Always will be. That shit owns my ass. The day I forget that is the day it controls me again and I start lying to me and everyone around me again.
Very well said. I've been a bit complacent around the site lately, still posting roll every day and support in other rolls most days but not much besides that. I'm fine with that but I know full well that I can never be complacent with my quit. One taste of nicotine and I'll be back to slowly killing myself with a mouth full of shame and lieing to myself and my loved ones. Not today though I posted roll.
Damn proud to quit with you today rangy, thanks for posting in here you made my quit stronger today.
Both of you strengthen my quit also. Rangy I saw that episode also and was also reminded of my addiction and this path we are on.
Anything that comes from the master of mullets is profound. Good to be quit with you , bro.
-
Haven't posted here in a long time. probably should more often but never feel like i have anything profound to say. But today I will say it anyway.
Couple of weeks ago, watching the show "Elementary" which is only sorta good but the wife likes it. At any rate, the main character is drug addict. I am watching with my wife and daughter. Near the end of the show he is explaining why he can't accept his 1 year clean chip from narcotics anonymous or whatever it is called. He has previously given excuses like "those chips are stupid, don't need that etc." Near the end he fesses up and says that "The day after I went into rehab, I snuck out and got another fix so my 1 year date is actually 1 day later than everyone thinks." He then gets quiet for a second and restates this fact with considerable disgust, "Less than 24 hours after promising myself and everyone that I was going to quit I did it again."
For some reason, this hit me really hard. Got a lump in my throat and thought about the 1000s of times I lied to my wife, kids, and self about "quitting". Almost teared up a bit (Ok I did).Â
I LIED to myself. I said I am in control. I said I can quit tomorrow, no problem. I can quit Friday, no problem. I can quit next monday, no problem. I can quit after I finish this project. I can quit at the end of the year. I am quit right now.
The truth? I am helpless against nicotine without help. Always will be. That shit owns my ass. The day I forget that is the day it controls me again and I start lying to me and everyone around me again.
Very well said. I've been a bit complacent around the site lately, still posting roll every day and support in other rolls most days but not much besides that. I'm fine with that but I know full well that I can never be complacent with my quit. One taste of nicotine and I'll be back to slowly killing myself with a mouth full of shame and lieing to myself and my loved ones. Not today though I posted roll.
Damn proud to quit with you today rangy, thanks for posting in here you made my quit stronger today.
Both of you strengthen my quit also. Rangy I saw that episode also and was also reminded of my addiction and this path we are on.
Anything that comes from the master of mullets is profound. Good to be quit with you , bro.
I cant wait until I am there with you! Quit wood, I quit with you today.
-
I spent the weekend with a friend on our deer lease. He is an "ex-smoker". I was was around him drinking beer etc about 6 months ago and noticed he was smoking. I said "didn't know you started smoking again". He said (with cig hanging from lips) "I didn't. Only at the deer lease". I said "oh I see."
Fast forward 6 months till this past weekend when I see him again. He has lost about 40 lbs and I said "Wow man you have dropped some weight. How'd you do it?" He says "Just watching what I eat" as he lights up a cigarette. I call bullshit and say "you are smoking again full time aren't you?" He says "Yes, but don't tell my wife. She thinks I have one in the morning and one in the evening"
You can't have just one folks. There is no such thing. You can't dip "only on special occasions". It all sounded so familiar, special occasions, weekends only, just on monday because it's gonna be a tough week. Well, there are only 4 days left to the weekend so might as well wait and quit next week. I was the world's best at this self deception.
Again, my choices are:
1. Quit
2. Not Quit.
There ain't nothing else to choose from.
-
I spent the weekend with a friend on our deer lease. He is an "ex-smoker". I was was around him drinking beer etc about 6 months ago and noticed he was smoking. I said "didn't know you started smoking again". He said (with cig hanging from lips) "I didn't. Only at the deer lease". I said "oh I see."
Fast forward 6 months till this past weekend when I see him again. He has lost about 40 lbs and I said "Wow man you have dropped some weight. How'd you do it?" He says "Just watching what I eat" as he lights up a cigarette. I call bullshit and say "you are smoking again full time aren't you?" He says "Yes, but don't tell my wife. She thinks I have one in the morning and one in the evening"
You can't have just one folks. There is no such thing. You can't dip "only on special occasions". It all sounded so familiar, special occasions, weekends only, just on monday because it's gonna be a tough week. Well, there are only 4 days left to the weekend so might as well wait and quit next week. I was the world's best at this self deception.
Again, my choices are:
1. Quit
2. Not Quit.
There ain't nothing else to choose from.
been awhile rangy, good to see you. still strong I see, and I'm proud to chose #1 with you everyday..
-
Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Had to dig around to find this old post but it was a vivid memory so I wanted to bump it back up and add some stuff. It's been over a year since I found out I was losing my biggest customer and I have not been successful in finding replacements. My partners and I made the final decision on Friday to shut down. Within 8 weeks I will be out of work.
The contrast between how I feel know and how I felt a year ago is striking. Snuff was still very much a part of life then, but now it isn't even a factor. Added stress doesn't make me want to dip again. I see snuff as a lie and something that only makes a bad thing worse. It helps nothing.
I owe that to KTC.
Thanks quitters. Proud to be quit with all of you.
-
Just random sharing. Just got out of a meeting with a big customer............like 90% of our business big. They informed us we are entering a new phase where they make it where we don't do business any more. but that won't happen for a year or so. not totally unexpected, but none the less about 2/3 of the way through the meeting i had a "It's gonna be ok cuz when this meeting is over I am gonna cram 1/2 a can of copenhagen in my face" moment. Then I remembered I can't do that anymore and it was 5 seconds of sheer terror. But it went away in the following 10 seconds.
That, my quit brothers, is progress. So, for the small percentage of you that have fewer days quit than me............Stay strong. The bit of news I just got is easily the most profound piece of shit news I have had in 4 years and it only caused 5 seconds of pain. I didn't die or even come close.
KTC is the shit.
Had to dig around to find this old post but it was a vivid memory so I wanted to bump it back up and add some stuff. It's been over a year since I found out I was losing my biggest customer and I have not been successful in finding replacements. My partners and I made the final decision on Friday to shut down. Within 8 weeks I will be out of work.
The contrast between how I feel know and how I felt a year ago is striking. Snuff was still very much a part of life then, but now it isn't even a factor. Added stress doesn't make me want to dip again. I see snuff as a lie and something that only makes a bad thing worse. It helps nothing.
I owe that to KTC.
Thanks quitters. Proud to be quit with all of you.
First, sorry that you are going to be out of work. As a business owner I can understand exactly, that terror.
Second, I can't wait, until I can have your frame of mind. Glad you brought that back.
-
Stress has always been a big trigger for me. Today is the day I tell 23 people they don't have jobs anymore. Never had to do this before and not looking forward to it. Craving like a MO FO. If I still dipped I would have eaten 2 cans already this morning.
I posted today so can't do that. I have to keep reminding myself that dipping makes nothing better.
Today is definintely a "one day at a time" day. Just gotta make it till bedtime.
-
Stress has always been a big trigger for me. Today is the day I tell 23 people they don't have jobs anymore. Never had to do this before and not looking forward to it. Craving like a MO FO. If I still dipped I would have eaten 2 cans already this morning.
I posted today so can't do that. I have to keep reminding myself that dipping makes nothing better.
Today is definintely a "one day at a time" day. Just gotta make it till bedtime.
Stress is a bitch for me also. The killer is dipping just caused its own stress. I quit with you, you've always inspired me and been there for me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
-
Stress has always been a big trigger for me. Today is the day I tell 23 people they don't have jobs anymore. Never had to do this before and not looking forward to it. Craving like a MO FO. If I still dipped I would have eaten 2 cans already this morning.
I posted today so can't do that. I have to keep reminding myself that dipping makes nothing better.
Today is definintely a "one day at a time" day. Just gotta make it till bedtime.
Stress is a bitch for me also. The killer is dipping just caused its own stress. I quit with you, you've always inspired me and been there for me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
That's some tough shit.
Get small, grind out the day, and start fresh tomorrow. Have a feeling you know this already, but still...
You're also right when you say dip makes nothing better. If you chin dipped two cans today, 23 people would still have lost their job and something tells me it still would have sucked telling them this and you would still be stressed. Only difference would be that you would be posioning your body, addicted to a known cancer causing weed, and lining the pockets of big tobacco. Not to mention, eventually you would come to terms with what you HAD to do as part of your job, and you would still be stuffing your cakehole full of cancer candy.
Dip fills NO voids, it creates them. You know this and will get through this. Its not always easy bit it is always worth it.
Hang in there, bro. You got the tools to deal with this, and will use them correctly.
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200
Feels really good. My last and greatest fear was conquered on days 198 and 199. Hunting season opened on Saturday and I was camping and hunting with two old college buddies that both dip. Grizzly Wintergreen for one and Copenhagen for the other. I watched them both eat snuff all weekend and had a couple of moments where I really really wanted to have "just one". Because of KTC I know that isn't an option for me. I told them both quitting can be done...............they aren't interested.
I watched them both wander around each morning looking for their can of snuff from the night before. I could see the anxiety on their faces as they considered what they would have to do if they could'nt find it. I felt sorry for them. My goal between now and next year is to find a way to get them to see what they are doing to themselves and get them to quit for themselves...............not sure how to do that one.
To top off my wonderful weekend, got up this morning and my youngest daughter decorated my house with "Happy 200 day" signs. There's like 20 of them.
I don't think day 200 is going to work out bad at all.
Day 200 and I am quit. With all of KTC.
I am the Grizzly Wintergreen dumbass in the story above. It took 4 years to the day, but here I am...97 days into my quit. Thanks, buddy. I look forward to many years of tobacco free fun together.
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For whatever reason the like button's not working..... but I really LIKE the above post!
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200
Feels really good. My last and greatest fear was conquered on days 198 and 199. Hunting season opened on Saturday and I was camping and hunting with two old college buddies that both dip. Grizzly Wintergreen for one and Copenhagen for the other. I watched them both eat snuff all weekend and had a couple of moments where I really really wanted to have "just one". Because of KTC I know that isn't an option for me. I told them both quitting can be done...............they aren't interested.
I watched them both wander around each morning looking for their can of snuff from the night before. I could see the anxiety on their faces as they considered what they would have to do if they could'nt find it. I felt sorry for them. My goal between now and next year is to find a way to get them to see what they are doing to themselves and get them to quit for themselves...............not sure how to do that one.
To top off my wonderful weekend, got up this morning and my youngest daughter decorated my house with "Happy 200 day" signs. There's like 20 of them.
I don't think day 200 is going to work out bad at all.
Day 200 and I am quit. With all of KTC.
I am the Grizzly Wintergreen dumbass in the story above. It took 4 years to the day, but here I am...97 days into my quit. Thanks, buddy. I look forward to many years of tobacco free fun together.
it is awesome to hear a fellow B.O.M.B.er provided you the inspiration to quit! Quit Hard!