KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: boog1964 on September 23, 2012, 06:31:00 PM
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
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Whew! What a difference a raging rant and a few hours makes. Still quit and I didn't resort to real violence. Thanks to this site for providing this bullet to bite on.
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Hang in there, you will have more ups and downs. I saw you posted roll today, keep it up, once you post roll you can't fail for the day if your word is worth anything. Reach out to some other users here if you haven't, swap numbers with some of your Dec. brothers and call or text them. pm some vets and swap digits while you're at it, it will strengthen your quit. I quit with you!
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Hang in there, you will have more ups and downs. I saw you posted roll today, keep it up, once you post roll you can't fail for the day if your word is worth anything. Reach out to some other users here if you haven't, swap numbers with some of your Dec. brothers and call or text them. pm some vets and swap digits while you're at it, it will strengthen your quit. I quit with you!
boy, thought it was just me. 1 week QUIT, 25 year guy
i am on edge cursing like a fucking sailor on leave..... sunflower seeds rock
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Hang in there, you will have more ups and downs. I saw you posted roll today, keep it up, once you post roll you can't fail for the day if your word is worth anything. Reach out to some other users here if you haven't, swap numbers with some of your Dec. brothers and call or text them. pm some vets and swap digits while you're at it, it will strengthen your quit. I quit with you!
boy, thought it was just me. 1 week QUIT, 25 year guy
i am on edge cursing like a fucking sailor on leave..... sunflower seeds rock
Keep raging in here. That is what this place is for. It will get better, and this will be the best thing you have ever done. Stay strong, and eat all the seeds you can. I was 1.5 cans a day for 20 years. All my adult life knows is dipping. It's hard as hell, but well worth the fight.
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Rage is the only reason I have caved on every attempt. I have always said I could quit if I picked up a valium habit. Would probably be cheaper too. The point is, I don't want any addictions.
Personally I have to manage my emotions each and every moment. I can't let myself lose my temper or become angry because I find it very hard to manage later in the day. It just keeps building. The quicker you vent or do some exercise, or just take a long walk, the better off you will be.
The truth is in the next few hours or perhaps even the next day all will be well again if you don't take that dip.
I guess I never learned to manage my emotions from my teenage years and used the can like a panacea fix all. Its all crap.
Ragin and quitting with you.
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
Foggy at day 14? I'm on day 6 and I know I'm still in the Fog. I don't remember being this foggy this long on my first quit. I can't even remember my work login password to save my life and I use that everyday. I Want the fog in my head to clear. I can't remember $hit...
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
Foggy at day 14? I'm on day 6 and I know I'm still in the Fog. I don't remember being this foggy this long on my first quit. I can't even remember my work login password to save my life and I use that everyday. I Want the fog in my head to clear. I can't remember $hit...
I'm on day 5 and craving, but not caving. One thing that I have noticed in the past is that every time I relapse it is tougher to stop again. For every failed quit I've had in the past it becomes harder the next time and the symptoms of the withdrawal are harder. It's a vicious cycle only broken by staying quit.
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
Foggy at day 14? I'm on day 6 and I know I'm still in the Fog. I don't remember being this foggy this long on my first quit. I can't even remember my work login password to save my life and I use that everyday. I Want the fog in my head to clear. I can't remember $hit...
Stay strong / Stay Quit. I was so dam foggy on day 4 that I forgot to shave before going to work (very manditory at work). havn't done that in over 20 years. Better now on day 14, still get just a little disconected for a few moments.
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
Foggy at day 14? I'm on day 6 and I know I'm still in the Fog. I don't remember being this foggy this long on my first quit. I can't even remember my work login password to save my life and I use that everyday. I Want the fog in my head to clear. I can't remember $hit...
Stay strong / Stay Quit. I was so dam foggy on day 4 that I forgot to shave before going to work (very manditory at work). havn't done that in over 20 years. Better now on day 14, still get just a little disconected for a few moments.
The fog will lift soon fellas. I was laid up for the better part of two weeks. Exhausted, strung out feeling, unable to focus, angry as a mother fucker, raging at anyone/thing, a veritable time bomb. It will clear, I promise. Use your intros as journals for yourselves. Keep writing this stuff down. When the urges come later in your quit, they will, refer back to these times and entries. Use them to build your resolve and strengthen your quit. PM if you need help or more digits.
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I've been a can a day dipper for 35 years and today is day 14 of my quit and it's damn near as bad as day 1. I am foggy, hurtin, raging chewed damn near a pound of bubble gum and run through a can of Smokey Mountain. Fuck you bitch! I hate you, you fuckin fucktard fuck!
Foggy at day 14? I'm on day 6 and I know I'm still in the Fog. I don't remember being this foggy this long on my first quit. I can't even remember my work login password to save my life and I use that everyday. I Want the fog in my head to clear. I can't remember $hit...
Stay strong / Stay Quit. I was so dam foggy on day 4 that I forgot to shave before going to work (very manditory at work). havn't done that in over 20 years. Better now on day 14, still get just a little disconected for a few moments.
The fog will lift soon fellas. I was laid up for the better part of two weeks. Exhausted, strung out feeling, unable to focus, angry as a mother fucker, raging at anyone/thing, a veritable time bomb. It will clear, I promise. Use your intros as journals for yourselves. Keep writing this stuff down. When the urges come later in your quit, they will, refer back to these times and entries. Use them to build your resolve and strengthen your quit. PM if you need help or more digits.
The fog will list and then you will enjoy the nic freedom which is way better than the fog!
I will say remember this fog and how badly it sucks it can and usually does serve as great motivation to stay quit!
Keep on keeping on QUITERS!
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Much better day today. I've been so screwed up I was unsure about how many days I've been quit. Thanks to my BOTQ and my wife. The BOTQ for doing what they do and my wife for reminding me that part of my rage was due to some steroids I was on (legit) and not just the nic bitch. That little bit of encouragement was huge.
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Much better day today. I've been so screwed up I was unsure about how many days I've been quit. Thanks to my BOTQ and my wife. The BOTQ for doing what they do and my wife for reminding me that part of my rage was due to some steroids I was on (legit) and not just the nic bitch. That little bit of encouragement was huge.
Wow! That connection your wife made with the steroids clicked with me! My early rage was really wild, I had started on some steroids a couple weeks before I quit and hadn't made that connection. I'm sure that was part of my rage.
The quit becomes easier soon and then time starts passing fast and becomes easier. Always have your contact #'s close and use them!
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A question for the crazy bastard vets here. Anybody have this on again off again anxiety/fear? I spent most of Wednesday night and all day Thursday terrified of God knows what. I had no real bad craves to speak of just this fear of some unknown danger or impending doom. It's all gone today. Any of you been through this? I've been addicted to nicotine since I was 13 so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna meet some demons I didn't know existed, including some Post Traumatic Stress uglies but yesterday's fear was not expected. Any and all thoughts will be appreciated.
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I had anxiety on and off for the first 30 days, it was really tuff. I am at day 47 today and I can tell you it gets better. Hang Tuff. You can try some natural herbal stress reducers, Calm's Forte helped a little for me. Hang in there it WILL get better.
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Yeah? Thanks, Part of my apprehension is that I've been an addict longer than I've had whatever is lurking inside so I've never dealt with any of these things as a clean adult and need to start developing some appropriate coping skills muy pronto. I must admit that I also subscribe to the theory that nicotine either caused or exacerbated whatever issues we have, so...
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The anxiety, fear, anger cycle has always done me in in the past. I used Coepnhagen to manage my emotions since my teens. Sad that I am 47 and had not learned to do a better job.
So, my only recommendation is to pay attention. When the feelings start, address them. Go for a walk, vent on this site, call someone, read the stories posted on this site. Do not let those emotions continue to build. I believe, it is our chemical dependence trying to trick us into thinking that we are stupid, weak, or unbearable assholes, or not worth a crap so go ahead and start again. The dependence tries to back us into a corner.
Address those feelings before they grow to large to contain. On day 40 I still go for 3 or 4 short walks a day to prevent a stream of f words from coming out of my mouth. Sometime I just hit the rack early, because I realize that it will only get better with sleep.
Quitting with you!
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A question for the crazy bastard vets here. Anybody have this on again off again anxiety/fear? I spent most of Wednesday night and all day Thursday terrified of God knows what. I had no real bad craves to speak of just this fear of some unknown danger or impending doom. It's all gone today. Any of you been through this? I've been addicted to nicotine since I was 13 so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna meet some demons I didn't know existed, including some Post Traumatic Stress uglies but yesterday's fear was not expected. Any and all thoughts will be appreciated.
I'm 117 days quit and spent many of them filled with anxiety and frightfullness. Literally I would be scared to leave the house....or do anything and could not figure out why. I finally went to a shrink and a councelor as I literally thought I was going nuts.
They gave me some anti anxiety meds which was a good assist but when they really broke it down it was my brain fucking with me.
I didn't think I could be "normal me" without dip. Thought dip defined me. Thought it made me likeable. Thought it gave me courage. Thought it helped me deal with stress. Thought it helped me have fun. Though it did everything for me as much of my adult life was spent literally DEPENDANT on this shit. My body was scared shitless, didn't think it could live without dip so it started going haywire in an attempt to get me back on the can. IT WAS ALL BULLSHIT.
As time went by I started doing things I never thought I could do without dip and finally started realizing that dip DID NOT define me. My confidence began to grow tremendously and I literally went from hopeless to knowing for sure I did not need dip.
Craig was Craig...Craig was not shaped or formed by dip. All my habbits, good and bad began to return the longer I remained quit and my confidence sky rocketed. Once that happened I became very angry and developed a STRONG hate for nic which continues today. Better late then never I guess.
I guess in a nutshell, stick with it. Your brain will re wire, the body is an amazing machine capable of healing itself. I chose to seek some medical help, you may not. They didn't give me a magic quit pill just something to take the edge off, you may not need any of that.
Bottom line is time and a positive attitude will lead you to freedom. I cannot begin to tell you how great it feels to be free from being a slave to that shit. I never imagined I could feel this good, and never imagined it was gonna be so hard to get here. BUT...it is all worth it!!!. Hang in there. You need anything pm me anytime.
Stay quit,
Diesel2112, Craig
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Thanks Bro. Sometimes a little of the "You're on the right path. Keep walking" works wonders. Today at work I was "drunk" feeling from about 5:30 AM till about 2:00 PM. Some of the guys were riding me pretty hard and making fun, then poof I felt just fine. I must admit that this has been a strange trip thus far.
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I was gonna go to the Doc to get some happy pills but decided to hold off. I had a little misplaced anger today and decided to think it through and it slowly got better. I heard a preacher on the radio saying no one makes you angry. No one makes you anything. You allow yourself to become angry or whatever. I'm gonna try to work it from that angle and try to stay off the happy pills if I can.
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Day 28 and another foggy Saturday. I will say it's better than last Saturday, but I feel like Ive been underwater since about 6AM. Gotta work again tomorrow so I hope I can sober up by then haha.
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Its a roller coaster.
Hang tough, we are all going through this shit together.
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Day 28 and another foggy Saturday. I will say it's better than last Saturday, but I feel like Ive been underwater since about 6AM. Gotta work again tomorrow so I hope I can sober up by then haha.
Boog -
we are addicts. for me personally I am approaching that 100 day and from time to time I still get that foggy feeling. I also hear from a few of the older veterans that they still get that feeling from time to time.
The best I can say is that we realize it, and can manage through it, and actually laugh at it.
Cause if you think of it, would you rather have the fog, or the cancer that would take half of your jaw? I will take the fog every day and twice on Sundays.
stay strong my brother.
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Its a roller coaster.
Hang tough, we are all going through this shit together.
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I was just wondering outloud why I seem to have an issue with fogginess on Saturdays. Thanks for responding to me brother. I quit with you today!
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Day 28 and another foggy Saturday. I will say it's better than last Saturday, but I feel like Ive been underwater since about 6AM. Gotta work again tomorrow so I hope I can sober up by then haha.
Boog -
we are addicts. for me personally I am approaching that 100 day and from time to time I still get that foggy feeling. I also hear from a few of the older veterans that they still get that feeling from time to time.
The best I can say is that we realize it, and can manage through it, and actually laugh at it.
Cause if you think of it, would you rather have the fog, or the cancer that would take half of your jaw? I will take the fog every day and twice on Sundays.
stay strong my brother.
Thanks Brother! I am sort of amused by the free high I keep getting on Saturdays, I am not bothered by it to the point of craving my old death march, just curious as I seem to get this on Saturday like clockwork and not the rest of the week. I'm learning something every day though.
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Day 28 and another foggy Saturday. I will say it's better than last Saturday, but I feel like Ive been underwater since about 6AM. Gotta work again tomorrow so I hope I can sober up by then haha.
Boog -
we are addicts. for me personally I am approaching that 100 day and from time to time I still get that foggy feeling. I also hear from a few of the older veterans that they still get that feeling from time to time.
The best I can say is that we realize it, and can manage through it, and actually laugh at it.
Cause if you think of it, would you rather have the fog, or the cancer that would take half of your jaw? I will take the fog every day and twice on Sundays.
stay strong my brother.
Thanks Brother! I am sort of amused by the free high I keep getting on Saturdays, I am not bothered by it to the point of craving my old death march, just curious as I seem to get this on Saturday like clockwork and not the rest of the week. I'm learning something every day though.
boog.. I'm at 64? Mine was or is the same as yours. I would get the fog followed by rage every 10 days, but didn't think about chew at all. I was way out of wack. Like Clockwork.. 16-20, 26-30, 36-40 so on.. I felt as though it was never going to stop and I was getting frustrated. The last 2 weeks have been much better. The rage is gone, and I feel in control of the fog. It's just a mist now. It will get better, and you'll be a little stronger each day. Try not to think about (when will this go away?) that's what I did and it drove me crazy. Just remember it will get better.. quit with you brother, and SirDerek too...
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Day 31 of my quit and guess what? It's day 1 of my new demotion at work! Yeah, 17 years bustin my hump and some kid files a complaint and I'm about 12-15k lighter and working for a whole other division. Least my new boss is an old bud so maybe he will be nice to me. Still quit though! Thank you for carrying me to day Lord!
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Hang in there boog. You're doing the right thing here everyday. Keep at it. You'll get back on top. Quitting changes a man/woman.
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Life fucking sucks sometimes.It sucks the big, giant, brown, puckered starfish. But you got the right attitude. THROW ALL THE SHIT YOU CAN AT ME WORLD! I'M STILL QUIT!
Own your quit. You got this shit.
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The company sends down some flunkies to explain why they have repeatedly raped me this week. I guess someone gets their jollies that way. I just sit there sucking on my new homemade fake and grinning like the backwoods hick that I am. What a neighborly day in the "F" me hood!
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The company sends down some flunkies to explain why they have repeatedly raped me this week. I guess someone gets their jollies that way. I just sit there sucking on my new homemade fake and grinning like the backwoods hick that I am. What a neighborly day in the "F" me hood!
Cheer up Boog, at least they ain't shoving that poison into your lip anymore, and you will be the one to come out on top when this is all over.
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The company sends down some flunkies to explain why they have repeatedly raped me this week. I guess someone gets their jollies that way. I just sit there sucking on my new homemade fake and grinning like the backwoods hick that I am. What a neighborly day in the "F" me hood!
Cheer up Boog, at least they ain't shoving that poison into your lip anymore, and you will be the one to come out on top when this is all over.
Hang in there fella. When one door closes, another opens. In times of limited control our greatest measure is to lean on the Lord for He is the One who carries us.
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Day 37 and I am scraping and clawing to keep my sanity. Quit one day at a time is more like quit one breath at a time today.
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You just have to finish today. Some days are throwback days. My mind tricks me into thinking I am over it only to slam me to the mat. It gets easier. I am only at 57 but I think I have had so many days that I just have to buckle down and finish (because I gave my word) that it is getting easier.
Quitting with you each moment of each day.
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I had some shit days in the 30's and early 40's then great until mid 70's to mid 80's, today at day 88 is the best I can remember feeling in quite some time!!
Hang in there!!
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I had some shit days in the 30's and early 40's then great until mid 70's to mid 80's, today at day 88 is the best I can remember feeling in quite some time!!
Hang in there!!
I learned something from the vets. Slam you nuts in a drawer!!! Do it quick, fast and hard and your triggers go awayÂ…Â…for a lil bit. 'crackup'
Stay quit bro!!!
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For the last two days I've had a bad case of the Red Ass! I don't even feel myself getting angry. I'm just going along and POW! It's on like Donky Kong! I'm ready to break crap and cost myself some serious grief!
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For the last two days I've had a bad case of the Red Ass! I don't even feel myself getting angry. I'm just going along and POW! It's on like Donky Kong! I'm ready to break crap and cost myself some serious grief!
i wrote this on day 39. (http://www.quit4today.com/blog/2011/08/the-return-of-the-living-dead-addiction-and-the-undead/)
I grounded myself and did not leave the house. It felt like it was the first week again. I feel for ya man.
Get through the evening. You can do it. Check you inbox.
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Headed up the coast from South Cackalacky to PA, NJ, and NY to work awhile on power restoration. May or may not be able to post roll. Been on these things with no communication for weeks except the SAT Phones, but may be on here without interruption. Hang in there my December Chew Wreckin' Crew Brothers!
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Some of the guys stopped at a store here on Long Island to buy snuff. They paid $6.19 a can. It felt so good not to be compelled to fork over that kinda money.
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Wow - you got a bargain. Thanks to all the work you guys are doing!
Stay strong!
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I had some shit days in the 30's and early 40's then great until mid 70's to mid 80's, today at day 88 is the best I can remember feeling in quite some time!!
Hang in there!!
I learned something from the vets. Slam you nuts in a drawer!!! Do it quick, fast and hard and your triggers go awayÂ…Â…for a lil bit. 'crackup'
Stay quit bro!!!
and if that doesn't work, try it again.. 'crackup'
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I am back home now with electricity, cell and internet service. Thanks to the brothers who wrote to check on me. I didn't know about it until this morning. I am still quit but need to check the spread sheet to see what day I'm on. Thanks again mfkuss, boelker62, lcwb96 and wastepanel for showing the love