KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Sgt12 on September 20, 2013, 05:53:00 AM
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.
It's go time.
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.Â
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.Â
It's go time.
Read everything on this site----POST ROLL FIRST THING EVERY DAY ---we are here for you!
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.Â
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.Â
It's go time.
Read everything on this site----POST ROLL FIRST THING EVERY DAY ---we are here for you!
I absolutely will... Thank you. I'll be leaning heavily on you guys.
Time to battle, but I'm ready and more than damn willing!
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.
It's go time.
You are in the right place. A lot of people here to help out. Pm me if you need anything. Stay strong stay quit, you can do it!!!
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.Â
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.Â
It's go time.
You are in the right place. A lot of people here to help out. Pm me if you need anything. Stay strong stay quit, you can do it!!!
Glad to have you rob. Things are going to be rough for a while, but I've stayed quit 218 days so I know you can do it today my friend. I can also tell you I'm feeling better than ever. One day at a time and you have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again for any reason and you can keep it. Glad to be quit with you. Need some digits let me know.
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I am so glad to be here. I love reading the HOF speeches and seeing the brotherhood here!
I am 32 years old and have been dipping for around 11 years.
About 20 minutes ago, my can (full) was dumped into the toilet. This is a massive step for me.
I know it won't be easy but I also know I will succeed. I will quit.
I have been married for six amazing years. We have three boys, ages 3, 1, and our youngest is set to arrive around Christmas.
I lost my hero, my Dad, to lung cancer on March 25 of this year. He was only 64. It has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and I begin my quit with a heavy and broken heart, but the days are getting better.Â
Again guys, I am so glad to be here.Â
It's go time.
You are in the right place. A lot of people here to help out. Pm me if you need anything. Stay strong stay quit, you can do it!!!
Glad to have you rob. Things are going to be rough for a while, but I've stayed quit 218 days so I know you can do it today my friend. I can also tell you I'm feeling better than ever. One day at a time and you have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again for any reason and you can keep it. Glad to be quit with you. Need some digits let me know.
Welcome to freedom Daddy Rob. You can do this thing! One day at a time! Start posting those +1s, get numbers and get connected with people here. It's amazing what this bit of fellowship can do for your life. Hit me up if you need a number.
Peace.
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If you read through the other intro's you may see some of my same words on them but they always hold true so I will just repeat them...
You are in for one nasty fight but you have the tools here to make it.
Read everything on here, post roll call each morning and don't dip. Wow....that sounds so easy, doesn't it?
Go load yourself up with gum, mints, fake chew, seeds and beef jerky. Also get some member phone numbers right now, they will help you through the rough parts.
Next, exercise to exhaustion every single day and drink so much water that you feel like you may bust. Both of these will help. I am a cycling freak so during the first several weeks I lived on my bike and stayed overtrained. Surprisingly, you feel about the same when you are overtrained as you do during the fog so somehow, it made it better.
Unfortunately, I traded dipping for food and have gained 12 lbs. This seems to be a common issue and at first I didn't worry about it as I know how to diet and how to train. Well, it turns out that I can't mentally handle this quit along with a strong diet so I just pulled the plug on the rest of race season. I was really bummed about this at first but I have accepted it as something I needed to do in order to put my quit first. Hell, I will likely have more fun on my bike now that I am just doing it for kicks.
Make sure your wife reads about what you are going through. 99% chance that you are going to be a short fused dick for the next 3-4 weeks. Try not to take it out on her and the kids. Get on here and take it out on us, we will be fine.
My temper has been my worst ordeal through this and here I am on day 60 and it's still bad. I am trying to work my way through that part one day at a time too.
I quit with you.
Greg
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Just letting you guys know that this is "DaddyRob." Had my name changed to Sgt12.
15 hours in to my first quit attempt ever and it's going... OK. I can definitely feel it. Hands and arms are tingling a little bit and here comes a headache.
Thanks to all for the advice and support!
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Just letting you guys know that this is "DaddyRob." Had my name changed to Sgt12.
15 hours in to my first quit attempt ever and it's going... OK. I can definitely feel it. Hands and arms are tingling a little bit and here comes a headache.
Thanks to all for the advice and support!
Repeat after me...
This is not an attempt.
I am quit.
I will not cave.
I gave my word this morning, and I am a man of my word.
IF i feel like I might be in rough waters, I will contact someone from KTC (pm me if you need another number.)
You are doing this. 15 hours.. those are some tough ones. You have nicotine on the ropes. Give it that knock-out punch.
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Just letting you guys know that this is "DaddyRob." Had my name changed to Sgt12.
15 hours in to my first quit attempt ever and it's going... OK. I can definitely feel it. Hands and arms are tingling a little bit and here comes a headache.
Thanks to all for the advice and support!
You've got some great advice so far...Shit tons of water will help calm the headache, Sgt. Trident, sunflower seeds or fake chew will help with the oral fixation. Lots of excercise will help flush the poison. Making that little promise every damn day and keeping your word will keep you quit. After three days the nicotine has been purged from your body and the mind games begin. You have the power to control its hold over you and we can help.
How many numbers have you got? Send a message if you need more. This isn't an attempt my friend. You are no longer a slave to that death sentence.
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Quit like your life depended on it.
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Up to about 20.5 hours since my last dip. It has been a long, long time since I've not had tobacco for that length of time.
I am feeling pretty decent, I guess. Smokey Mountain helps, as do seeds.
I COME FROM A FAMILY OF ADDICTS. Great people, but addicts, nonetheless. Nicotine has been our poison. I think of my dad. 64 years old... Gone way too soon. It slays me each and every day. At 31, I was not ready for him to go. My mom, a smoker for 50+ years. Widowed. My brother chews. My sister probably smokes (she tries to hide it). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... Cousins.
The Tobacco Industry.
I have three boys and I will break that addiction chain. It will be stopped with my family. 11 years of this crap. Thousands and thousands of dollars down the pipe. The lies and deceit. The shame, the guilt. No more.
Just rambling... Is 21 hours too early for the fog to come? It feels like it has been here, but maybe I'm just tired. Things are good. I'm quit.
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Up to about 20.5 hours since my last dip. It has been a long, long time since I've not had tobacco for that length of time.
I am feeling pretty decent, I guess. Smokey Mountain helps, as do seeds.Â
I COME FROM A FAMILY OF ADDICTS. Great people, but addicts, nonetheless. Nicotine has been our poison. I think of my dad. 64 years old... Gone way too soon. It slays me each and every day. At 31, I was not ready for him to go. My mom, a smoker for 50+ years. Widowed. My brother chews. My sister probably smokes (she tries to hide it). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... Cousins.
The Tobacco Industry.Â
I have three boys and I will break that addiction chain. It will be stopped with my family. 11 years of this crap. Thousands and thousands of dollars down the pipe. The lies and deceit. The shame, the guilt. No more.
Just rambling... Is 21 hours too early for the fog to come? It feels like it has been here, but maybe I'm just tired. Things are good. I'm quit.
Doesn't that feel awesome. You are going to change your family tree and start a new legacy. By setting the example to your children you not only effect your immediate family but your grandchildren and down the line as well. I am so happy for you and look forward to the days ahead while we fight the battle together. Together we can do this! I quit with you brother.
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Up to about 20.5 hours since my last dip. It has been a long, long time since I've not had tobacco for that length of time.
I am feeling pretty decent, I guess. Smokey Mountain helps, as do seeds.Â
I COME FROM A FAMILY OF ADDICTS. Great people, but addicts, nonetheless. Nicotine has been our poison. I think of my dad. 64 years old... Gone way too soon. It slays me each and every day. At 31, I was not ready for him to go. My mom, a smoker for 50+ years. Widowed. My brother chews. My sister probably smokes (she tries to hide it). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... Cousins.
The Tobacco Industry.Â
I have three boys and I will break that addiction chain. It will be stopped with my family. 11 years of this crap. Thousands and thousands of dollars down the pipe. The lies and deceit. The shame, the guilt. No more.
Just rambling... Is 21 hours too early for the fog to come? It feels like it has been here, but maybe I'm just tired. Things are good. I'm quit.
Doesn't that feel awesome. You are going to change your family tree and start a new legacy. By setting the example to your children you not only effect your immediate family but your grandchildren and down the line as well. I am so happy for you and look forward to the days ahead while we fight the battle together. Together we can do this! I quit with you brother.
It is an amazing feeling...one day at a time. One roll call at a time. One promise at a time.
To stop the addiction chain.
27.5 hours! It hasn't been that bad of a night...
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Sarge, keep fighting through it. I know the 27.5 hours seems like an eternity, but I can both promise and assure you that things will get better. It will be a few more days of hell, but it will be worth it to you...and to your family for having their brother, husband and Dad hanging around for a much longer life. Dig in deep when the urges strike you and power through it. Work this program one minute at a time. Then one hour at a time. Then one day at a time. Convince yourself that you can and will succeed. Failure this time is not an option. You have been given the tools to kick this addiction and you will use them.
Now, look up at your Inbox (1) on the top right hand side of this screen. Click it open and you will find a message from me. It is my telephone number. Call me if you need to vent, rage or just shoot the shit. Congratulations on making the best decision of your life. Wayne
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Up to about 20.5 hours since my last dip. It has been a long, long time since I've not had tobacco for that length of time.
I am feeling pretty decent, I guess. Smokey Mountain helps, as do seeds.Â
I COME FROM A FAMILY OF ADDICTS. Great people, but addicts, nonetheless. Nicotine has been our poison. I think of my dad. 64 years old... Gone way too soon. It slays me each and every day. At 31, I was not ready for him to go. My mom, a smoker for 50+ years. Widowed. My brother chews. My sister probably smokes (she tries to hide it). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... Cousins.
The Tobacco Industry.Â
I have three boys and I will break that addiction chain. It will be stopped with my family. 11 years of this crap. Thousands and thousands of dollars down the pipe. The lies and deceit. The shame, the guilt. No more.
Just rambling... Is 21 hours too early for the fog to come? It feels like it has been here, but maybe I'm just tired. Things are good. I'm quit.
Doesn't that feel awesome. You are going to change your family tree and start a new legacy. By setting the example to your children you not only effect your immediate family but your grandchildren and down the line as well. I am so happy for you and look forward to the days ahead while we fight the battle together. Together we can do this! I quit with you brother.
Sgt12,
You are not rambling , you just laid the cornerstone of your quit. Your reason WHY. Write it on a notecard, stick it in your car, wherever you have identified as a place or time you are likely to experience a craving. This is strong medicine. I like to visualize a crave as an intruder in my home in the middle of the night. When i feel a crave or my addict brain starts rationalizing, I force myself to remember that nicotine wants to sneak into my home, rape my wife, and molest my children. At that point I reach for my club and beat the crave bloody. Prepare your mind in these early days for the lies and tricks nicotine will play on you in the coming moments and days. KILL IT, bro.
Phil16
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Welcome Sgt all the best to you. Getting through 27.5hrs seems like forever but you're doing great so far, it does get better! Day 33 here I'm told it just keeps on getting better too
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Up to about 20.5 hours since my last dip. It has been a long, long time since I've not had tobacco for that length of time.
I am feeling pretty decent, I guess. Smokey Mountain helps, as do seeds.Â
I COME FROM A FAMILY OF ADDICTS. Great people, but addicts, nonetheless. Nicotine has been our poison. I think of my dad. 64 years old... Gone way too soon. It slays me each and every day. At 31, I was not ready for him to go. My mom, a smoker for 50+ years. Widowed. My brother chews. My sister probably smokes (she tries to hide it). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... Cousins.
The Tobacco Industry.Â
I have three boys and I will break that addiction chain. It will be stopped with my family. 11 years of this crap. Thousands and thousands of dollars down the pipe. The lies and deceit. The shame, the guilt. No more.
Just rambling... Is 21 hours too early for the fog to come? It feels like it has been here, but maybe I'm just tired. Things are good. I'm quit.
Doesn't that feel awesome. You are going to change your family tree and start a new legacy. By setting the example to your children you not only effect your immediate family but your grandchildren and down the line as well. I am so happy for you and look forward to the days ahead while we fight the battle together. Together we can do this! I quit with you brother.
It is an amazing feeling...one day at a time. One roll call at a time. One promise at a time.
To stop the addiction chain.
27.5 hours! It hasn't been that bad of a night...
Fight it hour to hour, minute to minute, second to second! This is the hardest part of the fight, but I think you know you are winning! Focus all your rage and anger right at U.S. Tobacco and the most addictive drug on the planet, that evil poison weed! You have laid it all out: the lies and death U.S.T. deals out so it can get our money, your father passing on too soon, your fear that your children will fall into the same trap, and the fact that with all you know about the poison you are still craving it! Fuck the weed! You are not caving! You will not put a wad of death in your mouth today! You are taking back your freedom and setting an example to your children! You are breaking the cycle today! You are winning, and as tough as these first few days are, there are better days in front of you if you can push through to get to them. PM me if you need anything.
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This is such an amazing community.
I have already sent out texts to five or six guys... My QUIT BROS! We're doing it. I am not having many cravings... I'll be 48 hours dip-free in exactly eight hours and 20 minutes. I'm using Smokey Mountain, seeds and gum when I feel something come on, and for as far as I have to go, the cravings haven't been bad -- but I'm not allowing myself to feel that confidence yet. I still know this is a fight... I know I will not cave, I know I will post roll every day and keep my word, and I know this will be the best decision I've ever made for myself and my family... But I know it's a battle. I'm entrenched, and that is amazing. I am quit.
One day at a time.
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Sitting here with a decent sized pitch of Smokey Mountain classic... Staving off the cravings. They seem like they might be becoming less and less. I will be at the 48 hour mark in less than two hours. I've posted roll; I've kept my word. No tobacco today.
I am going to Seattle -- a three hour road trip -- with my brother (a chewer) and my two nephews. We're going to the Seahawks game at CenturyLink Field. I will have a beer or two -- but I will not cave. I will not. That is a promise to myself. The whole day looks like a trigger to me -- long road trip, watching my Hawks, a beer or two, my brother pulling out his can... But no. I WILL NOT. I am quit.
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Great determination for the day great attitude! Go with it enjoy the game!
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Sitting here with a decent sized pitch of Smokey Mountain classic... Staving off the cravings. They seem like they might be becoming less and less. I will be at the 48 hour mark in less than two hours. I've posted roll; I've kept my word. No tobacco today.
I am going to Seattle -- a three hour road trip -- with my brother (a chewer) and my two nephews. We're going to the Seahawks game at CenturyLink Field. I will have a beer or two -- but I will not cave. I will not. That is a promise to myself. The whole day looks like a trigger to me -- long road trip, watching my Hawks, a beer or two, my brother pulling out his can... But no. I WILL NOT. I am quit.
Welcome to ktc friend. Enjoy the game today, but keep that quit close. I read through your post and my 2 cents would be to watch your beer intake. Alcohol has killed a lot of quits. I know your feeling good about the quit, but beer seems to change peoples minds.
You stated that you're cravings are becoming less and less. You'll have good days and bad for a while. My first week was not to bad from what i remember. Everything was new and exiting. It didn't become real to me until week two, three and so on.
One day at a time and you can have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again any reason and you can keep it. Quit with you today.
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Sitting here with a decent sized pitch of Smokey Mountain classic... Staving off the cravings. They seem like they might be becoming less and less. I will be at the 48 hour mark in less than two hours. I've posted roll; I've kept my word. No tobacco today.Â
I am going to Seattle -- a three hour road trip -- with my brother (a chewer) and my two nephews. We're going to the Seahawks game at CenturyLink Field. I will have a beer or two -- but I will not cave. I will not. That is a promise to myself. The whole day looks like a trigger to me -- long road trip, watching my Hawks, a beer or two, my brother pulling out his can... But no. I WILL NOT. I am quit.
Welcome to ktc friend. Enjoy the game today, but keep that quit close. I read through your post and my 2 cents would be to watch your beer intake. Alcohol has killed a lot of quits. I know your feeling good about the quit, but beer seems to change peoples minds.
You stated that you're cravings are becoming less and less. You'll have good days and bad for a while. My first week was not to bad from what i remember. Everything was new and exiting. It didn't become real to me until week two, three and so on.
One day at a time and you can have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Never again any reason and you can keep it. Quit with you today.
I went to the Bills games last 2 weeks, and for the first time w\o the poison. I had my fake dip and seeds on me at all times. One of my tailgate buddies had bought a tin of cope just to share with me, but was totally blown away when I told him I was quit. We ended up talking about KTC... It is just another trigger, but life is a trigger. Stay strong and keep your smokey mnt stocked up. Remember the average crave lasts 3-5 minutes.
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I had a great time at the game. The Seahawks won, so I'm happy about that. I drank three beers. Never even had a buzz.
I have been up for about 30 hours now, so when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be through the first 72 hours. That's cool to me. When I started this, I wasn't real confident on whether or not I could do it.
No real cravings today at all and I smelled tobacco in the air all day. I remember the reason I am quit. For me, my wife, our sons. The people who look up to me. I am taking my credibility back. I remembered roll, and all my December brothers.
Make no mistake, my body knows what time it is. As I inch closer to that 72 hour mark, my head begins to hurt. My skin tingles. My cheeks are hot and my body aches. I know I am winning right now, one day at a time. I also know this isn't a crave, but rather a physical withdrawal. I can't wait until those are gone.
I won't get comfortable. I know my pure diligence is required at all times.
I love this site. It is saving lives. It is helping to save mine. In what other community can you be around for a mere three days, and in that time accumulate 10 numbers are personally text with those guys? It's amazing. It's easy to see why this site has helped so many people.
Thank you. All of you. I am quit with you.
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I had a great time at the game. The Seahawks won, so I'm happy about that. I drank three beers. Never even had a buzz.
I have been up for about 30 hours now, so when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be through the first 72 hours. That's cool to me. When I started this, I wasn't real confident on whether or not I could do it.
No real cravings today at all and I smelled tobacco in the air all day. I remember the reason I am quit. For me, my wife, our sons. The people who look up to me. I am taking my credibility back. I remembered roll, and all my December brothers.
Make no mistake, my body knows what time it is. As I inch closer to that 72 hour mark, my head begins to hurt. My skin tingles. My cheeks are hot and my body aches. I know I am winning right now, one day at a time. I also know this isn't a crave, but rather a physical withdrawal. I can't wait until those are gone.
I won't get comfortable. I know my pure diligence is required at all times.
I love this site. It is saving lives. It is helping to save mine. In what other community can you be around for a mere three days, and in that time accumulate 10 numbers are personally text with those guys? It's amazing. It's easy to see why this site has helped so many people.
Thank you. All of you. I am quit with you.
just remember, with the roller coaster you are about to encounter....do not think too much and keep your emotions on a level plane. Don;t get too high ot too low.
You can and will do this. Be strong and Be quit.
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I had a great time at the game. The Seahawks won, so I'm happy about that. I drank three beers. Never even had a buzz.Â
I have been up for about 30 hours now, so when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be through the first 72 hours. That's cool to me. When I started this, I wasn't real confident on whether or not I could do it.
No real cravings today at all and I smelled tobacco in the air all day. I remember the reason I am quit. For me, my wife, our sons. The people who look up to me. I am taking my credibility back. I remembered roll, and all my December brothers.
Make no mistake, my body knows what time it is. As I inch closer to that 72 hour mark, my head begins to hurt. My skin tingles. My cheeks are hot and my body aches. I know I am winning right now, one day at a time. I also know this isn't a crave, but rather a physical withdrawal. I can't wait until those are gone.
I won't get comfortable. I know my pure diligence is required at all times.
I love this site. It is saving lives. It is helping to save mine. In what other community can you be around for a mere three days, and in that time accumulate 10 numbers are personally text with those guys? It's amazing. It's easy to see why this site has helped so many people.
Thank you. All of you. I am quit with you.
just remember, with the roller coaster you are about to encounter....do not think too much and keep your emotions on a level plane. Don;t get too high ot too low.
You can and will do this. Be strong and Be quit.
hey Brother, I lost my dad this year too. He died suffering/in pain/yelling/screaming from NICOTINE related illnesses.
I don't want to go that way...do You?
If my sorry ass can be quit ODAAT then YOU can TOO!
Post roll,
keep your fucking word all damn day,
get to sleep,
wake and repeat...cause most likely you and I don't have a choice! Cancer is no joke.
Quit on like your life depends on it TODAY. Just today.
Cheers to you and yours.
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I had a great time at the game. The Seahawks won, so I'm happy about that. I drank three beers. Never even had a buzz.Â
I have been up for about 30 hours now, so when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be through the first 72 hours. That's cool to me. When I started this, I wasn't real confident on whether or not I could do it.
No real cravings today at all and I smelled tobacco in the air all day. I remember the reason I am quit. For me, my wife, our sons. The people who look up to me. I am taking my credibility back. I remembered roll, and all my December brothers.
Make no mistake, my body knows what time it is. As I inch closer to that 72 hour mark, my head begins to hurt. My skin tingles. My cheeks are hot and my body aches. I know I am winning right now, one day at a time. I also know this isn't a crave, but rather a physical withdrawal. I can't wait until those are gone.
I won't get comfortable. I know my pure diligence is required at all times.
I love this site. It is saving lives. It is helping to save mine. In what other community can you be around for a mere three days, and in that time accumulate 10 numbers are personally text with those guys? It's amazing. It's easy to see why this site has helped so many people.
Thank you. All of you. I am quit with you.
just remember, with the roller coaster you are about to encounter....do not think too much and keep your emotions on a level plane. Don;t get too high ot too low.
You can and will do this. Be strong and Be quit.
hey Brother, I lost my dad this year too. He died suffering/in pain/yelling/screaming from NICOTINE related illnesses.
I don't want to go that way...do You?
If my sorry ass can be quit ODAAT then YOU can TOO!
Post roll,
keep your fucking word all damn day,
get to sleep,
wake and repeat...cause most likely you and I don't have a choice! Cancer is no joke.
Quit on like your life depends on it TODAY. Just today.
Cheers to you and yours.
You're kickin' ass, Rob, and you seem to have figured it out in a hurry. Keep your guard up and keep KTC close.
ODAAT
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Awesome work on getting through the first 72 Sgt!
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I had a great time at the game. The Seahawks won, so I'm happy about that. I drank three beers. Never even had a buzz.Â
I have been up for about 30 hours now, so when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be through the first 72 hours. That's cool to me. When I started this, I wasn't real confident on whether or not I could do it.
No real cravings today at all and I smelled tobacco in the air all day. I remember the reason I am quit. For me, my wife, our sons. The people who look up to me. I am taking my credibility back. I remembered roll, and all my December brothers.
Make no mistake, my body knows what time it is. As I inch closer to that 72 hour mark, my head begins to hurt. My skin tingles. My cheeks are hot and my body aches. I know I am winning right now, one day at a time. I also know this isn't a crave, but rather a physical withdrawal. I can't wait until those are gone.
I won't get comfortable. I know my pure diligence is required at all times.
I love this site. It is saving lives. It is helping to save mine. In what other community can you be around for a mere three days, and in that time accumulate 10 numbers are personally text with those guys? It's amazing. It's easy to see why this site has helped so many people.
Thank you. All of you. I am quit with you.
just remember, with the roller coaster you are about to encounter....do not think too much and keep your emotions on a level plane. Don;t get too high ot too low.
You can and will do this. Be strong and Be quit.
hey Brother, I lost my dad this year too. He died suffering/in pain/yelling/screaming from NICOTINE related illnesses.
I don't want to go that way...do You?
If my sorry ass can be quit ODAAT then YOU can TOO!
Post roll,
keep your fucking word all damn day,
get to sleep,
wake and repeat...cause most likely you and I don't have a choice! Cancer is no joke.
Quit on like your life depends on it TODAY. Just today.
Cheers to you and yours.
You're kickin' ass, Rob, and you seem to have figured it out in a hurry. Keep your guard up and keep KTC close.
ODAAT
Quit on sarge! You have a great attitude and approach. Great words from these guys, keep listening to the advice you get. Kill the can, odaat.
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Thank you guys... It's definitely a challenge but my focus is on my reasons and nothing is stronger than that.
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Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
Prayers,, i'm also quit with you today.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
Prayers,, i'm also quit with you today.
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family Sarge. Keep pushing through and stay quit today. We'll stay quit with you to give you the extra push you need. PM if you need to chat anytime. I quit with you today bro.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
Prayers,, i'm also quit with you today.
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family Sarge. Keep pushing through and stay quit today. We'll stay quit with you to give you the extra push you need. PM if you need to chat anytime. I quit with you today bro.
Praying for you bro. While reading your post all I could think was that today was my first hunt without seeing my dad. He used to always be in the barn waiting for me to come hang up the fresh kills. He left me about 9 months ago, and although my big tough ass has tears streaming down my face currently I know he would have been proud today.
He taught me how to hunt at age 12, I hunted that day with a big wad of worm dirt in between my cheek and gum. Today was my first ever hunt Nic free. Being a father myself your story hit a chord in me.
I pray for you and he family of your friend. Just use this as an inspiration every day of your quit. I am right here brother if you ever need someone to talk to.
Pinched
-
Prayers sent up for sure Sgt. Sorry bro, that's the best I can do, words aren't enough.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear this. Stay strong and keep going like you are. Praying for you and yours.
-
Today was a rough, rough day.
I started missing my dad pretty bad around the time I got home from work. My wife said a couple of things to me that I took completely wrong, and there was that. It sucks. I love her and hate fighting with her. I've had such a hard time with his death and sometimes I feel completely like a different person. It sucks. I just miss him so much.
A childhood friend killed himself last night. He had a son that has inoperable brain cancer. It's stage 3/4 I believe. He's been in a hospital most of his life... AND THIS IS HEART BREAKING. Dad couldn't take it anymore. I saw Jake deteriorate slowly on Facebook... A man who just a year before, was as happy as could be with a new son on the way with his new wife. He was a man of great faith or so it seemed, but after watching his son battle cancer, it seemed to evaporate. Now, the baby is very sick and dad took his own life, leaving mom alone. I've known him since I was a kid. He was good friends with my brother and he was one of the first kids I looked up to. Just a shame... It's unreal to me that he killed himself. It is a heart breaking situation and I still can't quite believe it.
Today lends some very real perspective into my life. I am healthy. I am loved by my wife and sons. I have a career that helps me provide for them. I have a lousy addiction to nicotine that I am currently burying for good with the help of KTC and my brothers here. I think of Jake, and the hopelessness he must have felt... Ah, it breaks my damn heart.Â
Live. Don't turn back from the great choices you have made. Don't give in. If you're weak, it's because you CHOOSE to be weak. There is nothing that can make you cave. It's all you... Your choices... No one else. So excuse me in the future when I drop the fury on any future cavers... I'm coming at you hard because nicotine makes NOTHING better. Only worse. Kill the can and stay quit NO MATTER WHAT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
RIP Jake; my prayer is that God has you in his care some how, and that your son Max makes a full recovery.Â
To my dad... I love you with all of my heart buddy. I've quit chewing... I'm breaking the nicotine cycle right here and now... My boys will not know of it. I miss you every day.
Sorry to hear about your friend. It's hard to know what to say. Keep living, and fighting against the flow of negativity and addiction. Reach out if u need to talk.
Just, damn. I have no words bro... They're all too small. Stay strong ~ stay quit. Pm me if you'd like another number.
Man... I feel for you. These are a couple of tough life events to deal with for anyone. I promise you that chew will not fix either situation. It will only create another problem for you. Despite your situation I see you are really focused on staying quit and that is badass bro! Fight for your quit. Prayers out to you and your family. QLF thru this time. I am quit with u today!
Prayers,, i'm also quit with you today.
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family Sarge. Keep pushing through and stay quit today. We'll stay quit with you to give you the extra push you need. PM if you need to chat anytime. I quit with you today bro.
Praying for you bro. While reading your post all I could think was that today was my first hunt without seeing my dad. He used to always be in the barn waiting for me to come hang up the fresh kills. He left me about 9 months ago, and although my big tough ass has tears streaming down my face currently I know he would have been proud today.
He taught me how to hunt at age 12, I hunted that day with a big wad of worm dirt in between my cheek and gum. Today was my first ever hunt Nic free. Being a father myself your story hit a chord in me.
I pray for you and he family of your friend. Just use this as an inspiration every day of your quit. I am right here brother if you ever need someone to talk to.
Pinched
You dipped 11 years straight, everyday you put poison in your mouth.
Being quit ODAAT you're going to be/feel like a different person...that person is the one to be, that person is the one you were born as...we were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Losing your dad like you did..he was/is a part of you, you're a part of him...that's why the pain is so intense. Time will help but you'll always feel him cause he is a part of you forever. That's okay, that is a good thing.
Being quit enables us to be who we are "supposed" to be.
We are re-wiring daily. We are adjusting to being healthier.
Go easy on yourself with the changes..welcome them, they are good.
Go even easier on your loved ones...it is very, very difficult (was for me) in the beginning of being quit to be rational, calm or cool with those who matter most.
ODAAT and NAFAR
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All I can say is that I am very proud to be quit with you brother.
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It's been two weeks since I've had a dip.
I am not the most pleasant person to be around. I am hyper sensitive around my wife at times. I am just not handling life all that well right now. It's not just about my quit. I am just not handling things like I want to be handling them. I still miss my dad like crazy and I know that will never change. Often, my sadness in missing him comes out in anger. I need to find an outlet for that. I know chewing is not that outlet and I can honestly say that I have not been close to caving. I will not cave. I know the cost of that. I'm never paying it.
I just wish I could be better for my family right now. I am shorter in everything that I do and I hate that.
I still hate the physical feelings I get sometimes. I can't describe it, but it's like an a physical uneasiness. I can't seem to rest...
I'm making this sound worse than it is, because the truth is that I am doing very well with my quit. I am posting roll and keeping my word, and staying in contact with my brothers. It's just been a very emotional and taxing year. I can't explain it any better than that. I have my loving wife and three boys, and they mean the world to me... They are my focus and my life. But this has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my hero and some days, it just flat out doesn't seem real.
I shared my quit with a co-worker and it inspired him to quit as well. I told him to join this site but am not sure if he has yet. He's been quit for about four days and I'm extremely proud of him. It's amazing to see the clarity in him when he realizes that he can do this.
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It's been two weeks since I've had a dip.
I am not the most pleasant person to be around. I am hyper sensitive around my wife at times. I am just not handling life all that well right now. It's not just about my quit. I am just not handling things like I want to be handling them. I still miss my dad like crazy and I know that will never change. Often, my sadness in missing him comes out in anger. I need to find an outlet for that. I know chewing is not that outlet and I can honestly say that I have not been close to caving. I will not cave. I know the cost of that. I'm never paying it.
I just wish I could be better for my family right now. I am shorter in everything that I do and I hate that.
I still hate the physical feelings I get sometimes. I can't describe it, but it's like an a physical uneasiness. I can't seem to rest...
I'm making this sound worse than it is, because the truth is that I am doing very well with my quit. I am posting roll and keeping my word, and staying in contact with my brothers. It's just been a very emotional and taxing year. I can't explain it any better than that. I have my loving wife and three boys, and they mean the world to me... They are my focus and my life. But this has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my hero and some days, it just flat out doesn't seem real.
I shared my quit with a co-worker and it inspired him to quit as well. I told him to join this site but am not sure if he has yet. He's been quit for about four days and I'm extremely proud of him. It's amazing to see the clarity in him when he realizes that he can do this.
Your mind is all over the place brother. Your brain is healing and it is working hard to correct all the crap you just put it through for years. It actually has wanted to do this for years. It will thank you eventually, but for now it's at work. Keep pushing forward and adding them +1's. You are going to like where this is taking you. Stay the course and make it to the next door. You will like what's behind it. It's all worth it,, this I promise!! Glad to be quit with you.
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It's been two weeks since I've had a dip.
I am not the most pleasant person to be around. I am hyper sensitive around my wife at times. I am just not handling life all that well right now. It's not just about my quit. I am just not handling things like I want to be handling them. I still miss my dad like crazy and I know that will never change. Often, my sadness in missing him comes out in anger. I need to find an outlet for that. I know chewing is not that outlet and I can honestly say that I have not been close to caving. I will not cave. I know the cost of that. I'm never paying it.Â
I just wish I could be better for my family right now. I am shorter in everything that I do and I hate that.
I still hate the physical feelings I get sometimes. I can't describe it, but it's like an a physical uneasiness. I can't seem to rest...Â
I'm making this sound worse than it is, because the truth is that I am doing very well with my quit. I am posting roll and keeping my word, and staying in contact with my brothers. It's just been a very emotional and taxing year. I can't explain it any better than that. I have my loving wife and three boys, and they mean the world to me... They are my focus and my life. But this has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my hero and some days, it just flat out doesn't seem real.Â
I shared my quit with a co-worker and it inspired him to quit as well. I told him to join this site but am not sure if he has yet. He's been quit for about four days and I'm extremely proud of him. It's amazing to see the clarity in him when he realizes that he can do this.
Your mind is all over the place brother. Your brain is healing and it is working hard to correct all the crap you just put it through for years. It actually has wanted to do this for years. It will thank you eventually, but for now it's at work. Keep pushing forward and adding them +1's. You are going to like where this is taking you. Stay the course and make it to the next door. You will like what's behind it. It's all worth it,, this I promise!! Glad to be quit with you.
You are at a point in your quit where it might be helpful to build up your hate for the poison and the pushers. srans is the master so just read his intro for the reasons you should hate the poison and the pushers. The hate helped me beat back craves, but it also made embracing "the suck" a lot easier for me, and once you can truly embrace "the suck" it makes things easier. I still miss my Dad every day, but the first year was the worst. Just keep +1ing and you will get to a better place.
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It's been two weeks since I've had a dip.
I am not the most pleasant person to be around. I am hyper sensitive around my wife at times. I am just not handling life all that well right now. It's not just about my quit. I am just not handling things like I want to be handling them. I still miss my dad like crazy and I know that will never change. Often, my sadness in missing him comes out in anger. I need to find an outlet for that. I know chewing is not that outlet and I can honestly say that I have not been close to caving. I will not cave. I know the cost of that. I'm never paying it.Â
I just wish I could be better for my family right now. I am shorter in everything that I do and I hate that.
I still hate the physical feelings I get sometimes. I can't describe it, but it's like an a physical uneasiness. I can't seem to rest...Â
I'm making this sound worse than it is, because the truth is that I am doing very well with my quit. I am posting roll and keeping my word, and staying in contact with my brothers. It's just been a very emotional and taxing year. I can't explain it any better than that. I have my loving wife and three boys, and they mean the world to me... They are my focus and my life. But this has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my hero and some days, it just flat out doesn't seem real.Â
I shared my quit with a co-worker and it inspired him to quit as well. I told him to join this site but am not sure if he has yet. He's been quit for about four days and I'm extremely proud of him. It's amazing to see the clarity in him when he realizes that he can do this.
Your mind is all over the place brother. Your brain is healing and it is working hard to correct all the crap you just put it through for years. It actually has wanted to do this for years. It will thank you eventually, but for now it's at work. Keep pushing forward and adding them +1's. You are going to like where this is taking you. Stay the course and make it to the next door. You will like what's behind it. It's all worth it,, this I promise!! Glad to be quit with you.
You are at a point in your quit where it might be helpful to build up your hate for the poison and the pushers. srans is the master so just read his intro for the reasons you should hate the poison and the pushers. The hate helped me beat back craves, but it also made embracing "the suck" a lot easier for me, and once you can truly embrace "the suck" it makes things easier. I still miss my Dad every day, but the first year was the worst. Just keep +1ing and you will get to a better place.
Sarge, I can't come close to understanding what you must feel missing your Dad but glad to see you know that caving isn't an option. Two weeks is great man, your doing awesome. The feelings you have now will pass, I know for me and others the initial fogginess can last upwards of a month.
Just know that it will get better man!
Proud to quit with you today.
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It's been two weeks since I've had a dip.
I am not the most pleasant person to be around. I am hyper sensitive around my wife at times. I am just not handling life all that well right now. It's not just about my quit. I am just not handling things like I want to be handling them. I still miss my dad like crazy and I know that will never change. Often, my sadness in missing him comes out in anger. I need to find an outlet for that. I know chewing is not that outlet and I can honestly say that I have not been close to caving. I will not cave. I know the cost of that. I'm never paying it.
I just wish I could be better for my family right now. I am shorter in everything that I do and I hate that.
I still hate the physical feelings I get sometimes. I can't describe it, but it's like an a physical uneasiness. I can't seem to rest...
I'm making this sound worse than it is, because the truth is that I am doing very well with my quit. I am posting roll and keeping my word, and staying in contact with my brothers. It's just been a very emotional and taxing year. I can't explain it any better than that. I have my loving wife and three boys, and they mean the world to me... They are my focus and my life. But this has been the hardest year of my life. I lost my hero and some days, it just flat out doesn't seem real.
I shared my quit with a co-worker and it inspired him to quit as well. I told him to join this site but am not sure if he has yet. He's been quit for about four days and I'm extremely proud of him. It's amazing to see the clarity in him when he realizes that he can do this.
Congrats on 2 weeks! Remember you got this you're doing great through it. I know you wish you could do better for those around you now, but I pray they're understanding that you can't. In the future you'll be able to do better for them than you ever thought possible, but yes right now so much of your energy/time is sapped just being staying quit. that's fine, that's just how it should be now.
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Thanks for all of the support, guys.
You know what pisses me off? I know this is random but I see a lot of posts here where guys don't take this seriously. They might have an intro thread that is six pages long but they only have four or five total posts in the entire thread. They just don't seem in it and that fires me up. Then there are those who simply disappear. Bunch of punks if you ask me. You want to be here? Get in the mix. Own your quit and support others along the way. Don't be a dick and don't be invisible.
In a fog right now and irritable. I'm just being a dick, don't mind me.
15 days quit and damn happy about it.
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Thanks for all of the support, guys.
You know what pisses me off? I know this is random but I see a lot of posts here where guys don't take this seriously. They might have an intro thread that is six pages long but they only have four or five total posts in the entire thread. They just don't seem in it and that fires me up. Then there are those who simply disappear. Bunch of punks if you ask me. You want to be here? Get in the mix. Own your quit and support others along the way. Don't be a dick and don't be invisible.
In a fog right now and irritable. I'm just being a dick, don't mind me.
15 days quit and damn happy about it.
I'm with you! The irritability is getting to me a little bit as well. This bitch really pulled the wool over our eyes for a while didn't she? Yah well 'Finger' nic bitch!
Remember Sarge, take it out on us and not your family. ODAAT with you bro, Super Soldiers taking it to the NB!
jz
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Thanks for all of the support, guys.
You know what pisses me off? I know this is random but I see a lot of posts here where guys don't take this seriously. They might have an intro thread that is six pages long but they only have four or five total posts in the entire thread. They just don't seem in it and that fires me up. Then there are those who simply disappear. Bunch of punks if you ask me. You want to be here? Get in the mix. Own your quit and support others along the way. Don't be a dick and don't be invisible.
In a fog right now and irritable. I'm just being a dick, don't mind me.
15 days quit and damn happy about it.
This. It's not being a dick, it's how to use the resources you've been offered on this site to make your quit a success! you SGT are winning it.
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I can't believe I am on Day 16. It seems like such an amazing accomplishment considering for the past 11-12 years, I have never gone more than five or six hours without a dip.
It sucks still, but I'm embracing it. I'm using a lot of the fake stuff and I hope in time I taper down on it. Jake's and Smokey Mountain have been my saving grace. I am eating too much and I know it -- the pounds are slowly packing on. Looks like another Advocare 24 Day Challenge is in my future. I'm 6'5" 243 right now and was probably 238 when I quit. I really need to find a way to exercise.
I'm not sleeping the best, but it is what it is.
Proud to be quit with you all.
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March 25, 2013 — 9:04 PM.
I was watching “The Voice” with my family. My phone rang and the caller ID showed that it was my brother. I was getting ready to put my boys to bed and decided that I would call him back.
Immediately after the phone stopped ringing, it rang again. This time, it was my sister. My heart dropped. I knew, at that moment, that something was not right. I answered the phone as cheerfully as I could, and heard my sisterÂ’s words through crying.
“Have you heard about dad?” she asked.
“No,” I said. My heart began beating a million times a minute.
She told me an ambulance was at my parentÂ’s house. I told her I would be on my way. We hung up, and a short time later, my brother called me again.
“They are working on him, but I don’t know Robbie…”
At that moment, I think I knew he was gone. I began aimlessly packing a suitcase. My wife tried helping me find some semblance of organization, by asking me what I would need. My three-year-old son Brayden was in the bath, so he obviously didnÂ’t have any idea what was going on, or how much his daddyÂ’s life had just changed.
At 9:37 PM, the text from my other sister read, “He’s with Jesus.”
One of my best childhood friends came to pick me up. It would take us about an hour and fifteen minutes to get there. I threw my suitcase in the back, hugged my wife, and climbed into the cab.
From there, I donÂ’t remember much. The drive was long. Not much was said. I was crying, not knowing what to do or what to think.
Shortly after 11 PM, I arrived at my mom and dadÂ’s. My sisters, brother and mom came out to hug me.
My dad, Robert “Dan” Wiley, is the best man I know. Now, I know a lot of men say that about their dads and it is true – but I just can’t imagine any man measuring up to my dad.
He was not perfect, but to me, he was. He made me feel safe. He made me feel comfortable. He made me always feel like I was one decision away from greatness. The best part is, he saw me make that decision. You see, I lived at home until I was 26. I had a hard time growing up. I didn’t see the importance of taking life seriously. I remember my mom saying that she was worried about me, that I might not find my way. I would be 40-years-old, living with my parents, and unhappy. She had a point and her concern was valid, because at 26, my direction didn’t really point anywhere. I think my dad worried too, but he always told me: “Son, all you have to do is make a decision to have a life for yourself, and you’ll have it.”
I began dating a beautiful, sweet girl named Jamie on March 17, 2006, when I was 24. I immediately loved her and told her so on our very first date. I got lucky because that should have scared her away, and it almost did. I proposed to her on January 1, 2007 and we were married on September 15, 2007. I remember mentioning to my dad that it would be an honor to have him stand with me and my brother as my “co” Best Man, but he politely declined because he wanted to sit next to his “honey” (my mom) on our special day.
Success. My parents had witnessed me not only getting married, but living away from them (and supporting myself) for the first time ever. It was a great time for me. Then, in July of 2009, we found out that we were pregnant. Our beautiful son Brayden was born on March 2, 2010. My dad immediately loved him.
July 9, 2012 – our second son, Jacob, was born. My dad and he had a very special bond. He knew my dad’s voice. My dad loved singing gospel music to him and Jacob loved it.
That is a great comfort to me – I knew that I quit being a weight on my dad’s shoulders nearly six years ago. He never made me feel like one, but I was and I knew it. When I got married, became a father (twice!) and bought a house, he could relax.
My dad was a Godly man. He was not a man that expressed his faith outwardly, but he did talk about it. Not only that, he lived it. He treated others with compassion and respect. He was an honest and forthcoming business man. He loved his family above all else and lived by the “Golden Rule.”
“Robbie, there’s one thing to live by – treat others just as you wish to be treated yourself.”
Those were not empty words. He lived them every single day.
People often tell me, “You’re such a good guy.” I’ve heard it a lot. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, because I do – but I am only a good guy because I have an amazing dad. Sons watch their fathers and how they live their lives, and we seek to emulate their lives and make them proud.
I know I make him proud.
He knew how much I loved him because I told him all of the time. This wasnÂ’t always the case, but on October 5, 2009, I wrote him a letter. It was a love letter from a son to his dad. It wasnÂ’t overly mushy, but it did reveal my heart to him. I told him how much I loved and treasured him. I told him that I knew he wasnÂ’t perfect, but he was to me. I told him that I wanted to spend more time with him as the years went on, and do things that he enjoyed doing. I told him that if my kids (I didnÂ’t have any at the time) looked at me with half the love that I look at him, my life will have been a success. I told him that my greatest hope for him was that his love for Jesus would grow.
A week ago, I knew I wrote that letter. I was thinking of what I wanted to say during his Celebration of Life service, because my two sisters, brother and I decided that we were all going to talk. I know I can write well, and I knew I would honor him, but I was nervous. I had talked about this letter with family. One night, my mom emerged from my dadÂ’s bedroom and she had the letter in her hand. She handed it to me and I read it.
There was my speech. This would be how I would honor him.
It was no longer just a letter – it was an answered prayer. I am a dad now, and I believe my little boys look at me with great love. I feel like I am on my way of having kids that love and adore me, like I did him. I did spend more time doing things with him that he enjoyed. I went to the rodeo with him, went target shooting, talked guns with him, and even went to Wyoming in September of 2011 on an antelope hunt with him. I went on that trip because I wanted to spend time with him and my brother. It was important to me. I didn’t think I would enjoy the hunting part of it, but I did. We went to Mount Rushmore and saw Little Big Horn in Montana. It is a trip, and time with my dad that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
His faith and love in Jesus did grow in the last years of his life. Him and my mom began going to church every Sunday and heard Pastor Jody Bowser (whom my dad loved) preach sermons that spoke to my dadÂ’s heart. Just two weeks ago, I prayed with my mom and dad when I was visiting them. Turns out, every night before my dad went to bed, he would stop at my momÂ’s chair on the way to his room, get on his knees, grab my momÂ’s hand, and pray. It was an amazing experience.
And an answered prayer.
The freedom in knowing that you made it clear to a loved one how much you love them is great. I never have to wonder whether or not my dad knew I loved him. I showed him through my thoughts, words, and actions. He had a heart attack in 2012 and we almost lost him then. I was in Spokane with him the entire time, not wanting to leave until I was taking him home. God spared him then, but it was so close. We had another 13 months with him.
We learned, after an autopsy was conducted, that my dad’s body was simply done. If he would have not died on the night he did, the road ahead of him would have been absolutely devastating and heart breaking. I do not wish to go in to details here, but might at a later time – I will just say that I believe he went quickly and without pain. The way he died was so extremely rare, that my aunt in Tennessee who is a nurse talked with a doctor at the hospital she works at and he had never even heard of a death such as his occurring. He was simply called home by a loving God that he will spend eternity with.
That is a comfort to me because I know, without a doubt, that God answered my dadÂ’s prayer. Do I believe my dad was wanting to die? Absolutely not. What I do believe is that he prayed for quickness when his time came. Not because he didnÂ’t want to bare the pain, but because he couldnÂ’t bear the thought of his family going through that. After having talks with him in the past, I am confident believing that he said that prayer at least once.
People might ask, “Why did he not suffer, but others do?” I do not know. I simply don’t. I am not even sure that he didn’t suffer, but just feel that he didn’t. I do not know why God does the things that He does. I will never pretend to know or understand the mind of God. I just know that there is a reason in everything, even if we never understand that reason during our time on earth. Faith can move mountains and it can help you in your most difficult times. That, I do know. I also know that Pastor Jody was praying with my dad on the day that he had his heart attack in 2012 and again on the day that my dad died a mere nine days ago. These were two men that did not see each all of the time, either. I just know during those days, my dad was with a true man of God who was praying for him and on his behalf.
I want to live the rest of my life looking at life as he did. He did not worry about earthly things and treasures. He did not hold grudges, but rather forgave freely and loved endlessly. His wife is his greatest treasure and his kids were his pride and joy. His eight grandchildren were a huge part of his life and he loved his time with them. People loved my dad, because he didnÂ’t expect anything out of them. He just saw the value in who they are and looked at the world with such a positive attitude.
My mom told me that I am just like him. I, too, do not find it necessary to hold grudges. I do find it 100 percent necessary to forgive others. I try not to worry about my life. I love others and treat them with dignity and respect. That is how I will live the rest of my life. I am who I am because I am my dadÂ’s son. He gave me his heart, which is the greatest gift he could have ever given me. When I was a boy, all I wanted was to become a professional baseball player. I dreamed about it day and night. If you offered that to me now, but told me I couldnÂ’t have my dadÂ’s heart, I would decline your offer before you could even get the words out. No, thanks.
I could talk about the memories, but I would be sitting here all night and part of the next day. I will write about them, because they are worth sharing. I will also write about my mom and dadÂ’s love story and how truly amazing it is.
On March 26, 2013, approximately three hours after my dad went to be with the Lord, I said goodbye (for now) to him.
I cried. I rubbed his hair. I kissed his face. I told him that for the rest of my time here on earth, I would honor him with how I live my life. I will love my wife and kids like he did with us. I will love others and be the best man I can possibly be. I told him I couldnÂ’t wait to see him again.
This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I have been sad, I have cried, I have been angry, I have been gratefulÂ… I know thatÂ’s a part of the grieving process. I know.
Today, April 3, I almost made it through the entire day and night without crying. I was up in Brayden’s room putting him to bed. He asked me to lie down on the floor next to his bed. “Daddy, lay down a minute,” he said. It wasn’t a question, and like every time he asks, I did it. I lied there for a few minutes, rubbing his hair as he looked at me. We prayed together and he thanked Jesus for “Grammy and Papa, and for mommy, and baby Jacob, and Caleb (his cousin in Tennessee).” After a few minutes, I said, “Alright, Brayden, I am going to go now buddy – I love you, goodnight.”
“Nooooooooo!” he said. “Daddy, don’t leave me!”
I lost it. I know, Brayden. I won’t leave you – now or ever. It’s the same promise I hold deep in my heart.
I stayed for about another 30 minutes, until he nearly fell asleep.
This is the legacy I am charged with keeping. A son that loves his daddy and only wants him around.
And I will.
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So what killed him?
It was a normal night. My mom made him dinner. He brought his plate into the kitchen and gave her a kiss on the head. He walked a few feet away to the dining room. He tried to sneak a muffin. He reached the dining room table and coughed. A little blood came out. He set the muffin down and raced down the hallway. He went into the bathroom. My mom saw him out of the corner of her eye and asked if he was OK. No response.
15 seconds later, she heard the waste basket in the bathroom fall over. She raced to the bathroom and inside was her husband, my dad, hunched over the toilet, as if he had been throwing up. The bathroom floor was covered in blood and he was gone. Just like that, HE WAS GONE. She called 911. They gave her instructions, to get him on his back, but it was too late. Dead weight, my mom could not move him. He was gone. They later pronounced his time of death as the exact time that they call connected -- 8:52 PM.
That is how quickly life can change.
The coroner told us he would find out what killed him.
The next day, he came over and broke the news to us.
Lung cancer. He probably had it for only a month or two. He never knew he had it. My dad bought a rifle the day he died. A man who thinks he is going to die to lung cancer does not buy a rifle. My dad had no idea. For that, I am thankful.
The tumor was growing on an artery. It was a very rare way to go. No suffering. For that, I am ever thankful. The tumor caused the artery to rupture, resulting in all of the blood loss. My amazing dad never knew what was coming and besides the brief moments in which he saw the blood and knew something was terribly wrong, he was gone before any of it probably registered.
64 years old. The tobacco industry claims another one. Left behind is a loving wife of 43 years, two daughters, two sons, two grandaughters, seven grandsons, two son in laws, and two daugher in laws. He left a legacy of love. None of us are the same without him. The hole in our family is huge and will never be filled.
Think about this when you want to cave. I had to say goodbye to my dad much too early. Sooner or later, IT WILL GET YOU. You're not special. You think you can escape? You think you can be one of the lucky ones? GTFO. All you're doing is testing fate and you're not going to win.
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One last thought for today.
People call nicotine the "nic bitch." I think that's letting it off way too easy. This isn't some ex-girlfriend who dicked you in over high school.
Nicotine is satanic. To me, it's one of Satan's tools to keep us from the life that we were meant to live. It's aim is to kill, steal, and destroy. It kills us in time. It steals our time and our money. Our health. It destroys everything. It makes nothing better -- only worse.
It's not a bitch. It is much, much worse than that.
I'm coming into the part of my quit where I am HATING it. I saw what it did to my dad. I saw what it has done to me in dealing with his death.
I hate it with a passion.
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Sorry for all the posts... But it's great to finally have this epiphany.
I was mad at cigarettes all my life because of my mom and dad. Two of the greatest people in the world addicted to these cancer sticks.
I never saw it quite like this. But nicotine was a robber. The job went bad and he killed the owner of the house. That's what it did with my dad. It's no different -- a murderer. So my hate has been born and that's a great thing. I do not hate anything -- but I do hate nicotine and the tobacco industry.
I am just writing through the fog right now but there is much clarity to be had right now. Thanks to all who have read my walls of text. It's great to wake up.
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Lot of emotion in the quit today... That's what is driving me right now and powering me through some minor craves... Don't blame ya'all for not reading if you choose not to. The really long post below was lifted from my blog. It was tough to write.
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Lot of emotion in the quit today... That's what is driving me right now and powering me through some minor craves... Don't blame ya'all for not reading if you choose not to. The really long post below was lifted from my blog. It was tough to write.
The poison deserves your hate brother. I woke up this morning hating it. At lunch I'll hate it and continue hating it until dinner. At dinner I'll hate it during and after. I'll hate it at bedtime and mention the the hate for it during prayer. I enjoy hating it so much I'll wake up tomorrow and start all over hating it again. Hatred for the poison will fuel your quit. Glad to be quit with you.
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Lot of emotion in the quit today... That's what is driving me right now and powering me through some minor craves... Don't blame ya'all for not reading if you choose not to. The really long post below was lifted from my blog. It was tough to write.
The poison deserves your hate brother. I woke up this morning hating it. At lunch I'll hate it and continue hating it until dinner. At dinner I'll hate it during and after. I'll hate it at bedtime and mention the the hate for it during prayer. I enjoy hating it so much I'll wake up tomorrow and start all over hating it again. Hatred for the poison will fuel your quit. Glad to be quit with you.
I'm hating it right along with you bro! You don't worry about who reads ur intro or if ur post is long. This intro is yours! You own it just like you own the nic B! Or nic demon! Or nic whatever the heck u want to call it. QLF today my man! I will damn sure be joining you!
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Lot of emotion in the quit today... That's what is driving me right now and powering me through some minor craves... Don't blame ya'all for not reading if you choose not to. The really long post below was lifted from my blog. It was tough to write.
The poison deserves your hate brother. I woke up this morning hating it. At lunch I'll hate it and continue hating it until dinner. At dinner I'll hate it during and after. I'll hate it at bedtime and mention the the hate for it during prayer. I enjoy hating it so much I'll wake up tomorrow and start all over hating it again. Hatred for the poison will fuel your quit. Glad to be quit with you.
I'm hating it right along with you bro! You don't worry about who reads ur intro or if ur post is long. This intro is yours! You own it just like you own the nic B! Or nic demon! Or nic whatever the heck u want to call it. QLF today my man! I will damn sure be joining you!
I'll be honest, I had a tear run down my face when I read your posts this morning. And I'm not a very emotional guy. Nicotine has stolen something from you that you needed.
The good news is that you recognize this, and you won't let it steal the same thing from your kids. That being said, man, you were lucky to have a dad like the one that you had - and it is clear from your writing that you recognize that. Fathers like that are few and far between. So while I was sad as I read your writings this morning, I was also smiling at the good fortune you had to have a great man as a father.
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Lot of emotion in the quit today... That's what is driving me right now and powering me through some minor craves... Don't blame ya'all for not reading if you choose not to. The really long post below was lifted from my blog. It was tough to write.
The poison deserves your hate brother. I woke up this morning hating it. At lunch I'll hate it and continue hating it until dinner. At dinner I'll hate it during and after. I'll hate it at bedtime and mention the the hate for it during prayer. I enjoy hating it so much I'll wake up tomorrow and start all over hating it again. Hatred for the poison will fuel your quit. Glad to be quit with you.
I'm hating it right along with you bro! You don't worry about who reads ur intro or if ur post is long. This intro is yours! You own it just like you own the nic B! Or nic demon! Or nic whatever the heck u want to call it. QLF today my man! I will damn sure be joining you!
I'll be honest, I had a tear run down my face when I read your posts this morning. And I'm not a very emotional guy. Nicotine has stolen something from you that you needed.
The good news is that you recognize this, and you won't let it steal the same thing from your kids. That being said, man, you were lucky to have a dad like the one that you had - and it is clear from your writing that you recognize that. Fathers like that are few and far between. So while I was sad as I read your writings this morning, I was also smiling at the good fortune you had to have a great man as a father.
hang in there.Im on day 36 and it seems to be getting a little easier now.The first 30 were a nightmare.... 'bang head'
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One last thought for today.
People call nicotine the "nic bitch." I think that's letting it off way too easy. This isn't some ex-girlfriend who dicked you in over high school.
Nicotine is satanic. To me, it's one of Satan's tools to keep us from the life that we were meant to live. It's aim is to kill, steal, and destroy. It kills us in time. It steals our time and our money. Our health. It destroys everything. It makes nothing better -- only worse.
It's not a bitch. It is much, much worse than that.
I'm coming into the part of my quit where I am HATING it. I saw what it did to my dad. I saw what it has done to me in dealing with his death.
I hate it with a passion.
You are right here. I simple bitch does not infiltrate our personal lives, our cultural lives and our international lives with such ease. It takes a larger more evil force to pull that off. Don't be sorry for these posts, they are your salvation and clarity shared with us. They are now part of our salvation and clarity. I thank you for these posts. I fight the power with you rob.
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One last thought for today.
People call nicotine the "nic bitch." I think that's letting it off way too easy. This isn't some ex-girlfriend who dicked you in over high school.
Nicotine is satanic. To me, it's one of Satan's tools to keep us from the life that we were meant to live. It's aim is to kill, steal, and destroy. It kills us in time. It steals our time and our money. Our health. It destroys everything. It makes nothing better -- only worse.
It's not a bitch. It is much, much worse than that.Â
I'm coming into the part of my quit where I am HATING it. I saw what it did to my dad. I saw what it has done to me in dealing with his death.
I hate it with a passion.
You are right here. I simple bitch does not infiltrate our personal lives, our cultural lives and our international lives with such ease. It takes a larger more evil force to pull that off. Don't be sorry for these posts, they are your salvation and clarity shared with us. They are now part of our salvation and clarity. I thank you for these posts. I fight the power with you rob.
I hate Nictotine also Sgt12.
I hate the poison and all the venues, corporations and greedy basterds who push this legal poison. I hate the fact that it was a "known" poison before my grandaddy was born 1902.
I hate that an entire industry was created and called "American" just to get our $$ and steal our health.
Keep hating this poison Sgt12. Don't let anyone pursuade you any differently.
We were not born with this poison in our mouths.
I quit with YOU today Sgt12!!! All damn day Today!
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One last thought for today.
People call nicotine the "nic bitch." I think that's letting it off way too easy. This isn't some ex-girlfriend who dicked you in over high school.
Nicotine is satanic. To me, it's one of Satan's tools to keep us from the life that we were meant to live. It's aim is to kill, steal, and destroy. It kills us in time. It steals our time and our money. Our health. It destroys everything. It makes nothing better -- only worse.
It's not a bitch. It is much, much worse than that.Â
I'm coming into the part of my quit where I am HATING it. I saw what it did to my dad. I saw what it has done to me in dealing with his death.
I hate it with a passion.
You are right here. I simple bitch does not infiltrate our personal lives, our cultural lives and our international lives with such ease. It takes a larger more evil force to pull that off. Don't be sorry for these posts, they are your salvation and clarity shared with us. They are now part of our salvation and clarity. I thank you for these posts. I fight the power with you rob.
I hate Nictotine also Sgt12.
I hate the poison and all the venues, corporations and greedy basterds who push this legal poison. I hate the fact that it was a "known" poison before my grandaddy was born 1902.
I hate that an entire industry was created and called "American" just to get our $$ and steal our health.
Keep hating this poison Sgt12. Don't let anyone pursuade you any differently.
We were not born with this poison in our mouths.
I quit with YOU today Sgt12!!! All damn day Today!
Read my signature line sgt. I'm hating it right along with you. Here,, let me write all the good things it done for us that I miss about it.
I got nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Proud to be quit with you today.
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Get it out there, quitter. Fight like nothing else matters in this world. Quit has to come first if we are to succeed. Yes: WE. You are not alone here.
The devils over at big tobacco are indeed murderers. I believe that with everything in my heart. That is part of what keeps me on the path. My children and my wife deserve it.
I'll quit with you every day, sir.
Reach out if you need anything at all.
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27 glorious days.
Keep on keepin' on.
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awesome job Sgt12 one day I will be there to but I like how you stated it was pure evil. thank you for showing me what it really is I havent looked at it like that. day 2 almost done ready for day 3
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GREAT JOB
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I look at my beautiful wife and her pregnant belly... My two sons, ages 3 and 1... They are more than worth it. They say quit for YOU... I believe I am. I do. But I believe I am quitting as much FOR THEM. They need me. Just as I need my Dad now, but he's gone. They need me to be their daddy, their leader. Damn, they are looking at me all the time. They both mimic me. Now, it's without the dip in my lip.
Again, I am quitting for me, but I am breaking generational curses. Killing vicious cycles. Not in my family. Not while I'm the head of the house.
29 days... Going strong, protecting my quit. ODAAT. I won't say never again. One day at a time. That is good enough for me right now. I am winning this battle. I can honestly say that I have not came close to caving. Not even close. But I still protect my quit because I am only $7 and a short two minute drive away from a bad decision. QLF and never getting too comfortable or confident.
But today, I am quit, and damn that feels great.
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awesome job Sgt12 one day I will be there to but I like how you stated it was pure evil. thank you for showing me what it really is I havent looked at it like that. day 2 almost done ready for day 3
You're doing great, brother! All the tools for us are here at KTC.
Proud to be quit with you.
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I'm a big dude... An athlete. Always have been. When I started my quit, I was 237 pounds.
I'm 6'5".
Weighed myself this evening and am now 251. That is terrible. I know weight gain is common during a quit, but it's time to start exercising. I need to get back down to the 230s.
But I know, I know... 14 pounds is nothing compared to my quit. I wouldn't change anything. It's just time to focus on my improving health after quitting. I felt in the beginning, it would be too much to watch my weight and quit at the same time, but I think now is a good time to incorporate some exercise.
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You are plowing up the unbroken ground of addiction. Breaking sod takes the right tools and persistence. You will encounter some large boulders that have been buried inder the surface of your nicotine addiction. Once the sod is broken, it can produce a crop but the work of tending your field is never finished. It's a garden. We must stay attentive to the needs that arise. Pulling weeds as they come up and erecting scarecrows to ward off scavenging birds. Sarge-Keep your family and their needs ever in front off your conscious. You must quit for yourself, yes agreed. But the ultimate purpose for oneself is being willing to serve another. The best way to serve you spouse and children is to set a healthy example. I'm a big fan of your quit, brother.
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Scott i feel your pain with the weight gain i am only on Day 4 and i have started the weight gain. i agree with you i will have to start excercising again and getting back healthy. The main thing is that we both have made the biggest stride to gaining our health back and that is kicking the nicotine addiction.
Phil couldnt have said it best and i havent looked at it like that before. this quit is a garden that needs constant attention to keep it going good and strong. We fight the weeds one day or one moment at a time. i will gladly stand by your side to help if you need me.
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I'm a big dude... An athlete. Always have been. When I started my quit, I was 237 pounds.
I'm 6'5".
Weighed myself this evening and am now 251. That is terrible. I know weight gain is common during a quit, but it's time to start exercising. I need to get back down to the 230s.
But I know, I know... 14 pounds is nothing compared to my quit. I wouldn't change anything. It's just time to focus on my improving health after quitting. I felt in the beginning, it would be too much to watch my weight and quit at the same time, but I think now is a good time to incorporate some exercise.
Scott,
I like you and many others have gained weight since my quit. There are several contributing factors that my dietitian sister pointed out to me yesterday.
1 - water weight, if you used to spit this is worse because your body is still producing saliva at an abnormal rate and it has to go somewhere; it you were a "stomacher" not going to say if you swallowed due to other implications) you still have that saliva cycling through your body
2 - most of our replacements are not "healthy" as most are full of salt, sugar or high fructose corn syrup
3 - your metabolism would spike when you would dip as a natural body reaction to nicotine and tobacco
My advice is start slow get back to working out, when you have those angry days (like I did yesterday) take it out on iron or a heavy bag and kick the shit out of it.
As far as diet, I say fuck it eat what you want until your cravings start to fade; then worry about a lifestyle change.
As with most I am no Doctor but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express lastnight.
Pinched
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I'm a big dude... An athlete. Always have been. When I started my quit, I was 237 pounds.Â
I'm 6'5".
Weighed myself this evening and am now 251. That is terrible. I know weight gain is common during a quit, but it's time to start exercising. I need to get back down to the 230s.Â
But I know, I know... 14 pounds is nothing compared to my quit. I wouldn't change anything. It's just time to focus on my improving health after quitting. I felt in the beginning, it would be too much to watch my weight and quit at the same time, but I think now is a good time to incorporate some exercise.
Scott,
I like you and many others have gained weight since my quit. There are several contributing factors that my dietitian sister pointed out to me yesterday.
1 - water weight, if you used to spit this is worse because your body is still producing saliva at an abnormal rate and it has to go somewhere; it you were a "stomacher" not going to say if you swallowed due to other implications) you still have that saliva cycling through your body
2 - most of our replacements are not "healthy" as most are full of salt, sugar or high fructose corn syrup
3 - your metabolism would spike when you would dip as a natural body reaction to nicotine and tobacco
My advice is start slow get back to working out, when you have those angry days (like I did yesterday) take it out on iron or a heavy bag and kick the shit out of it.
As far as diet, I say fuck it eat what you want until your cravings start to fade; then worry about a lifestyle change.
As with most I am no Doctor but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express lastnight.
Pinched
They got an indoor pool in the tri-cities? Just take the kids for a swim. You will be exorcising just by taking them around in circles in the water. Then slowly start to lap swim on your own. My wife and I started doing that together and I have actually been losing weight. Swimming is crazy good for you. works every muscle you have.
I've always been around 240 - 250 depending on my activity level over the course of a few weeks. I have gone from 260 down to 250 since I quit. That's right when my wife and I started swimming.
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Love all ya'all but my name is not Scott. It's Rob.
'archer'
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Love all ya'all but my name is not Scott. It's Rob.
'archer'
Got it Joe...it will never happen again, I swear Tom. You know what I mean Mike?
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Love all ya'all but my name is not Scott. It's Rob.
'archer'
Got it Joe...it will never happen again, I swear Tom. You know what I mean Mike?
Just call me QLF.
'oh yeah'
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So... What's up with the dreams?
Here I am, 31 days... I am sleeping OK. Still not the best. Before, I never really remembered my dreams. Once in a while I would wake up and recall the vagueness of a dream. Now? I'm dreaming all of the time. They are not necessarily dip dreams. I think I dream about my dad some.
Just curious where this new clarity with dreams has come from. Anyone know?
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Length of use... 12-13 years.
Brand... Copenhagen, Skoal (Straight and Apple).
Usage... A can a day, roughly.
Hid from... Everyone. My wife caught me numerous times so I could no longer hide it from her.
Why I'm quit:
Believe it or not, it's not really about ME right now. I lost my dad this year. It's been hard as hell on me. Most days, I don't feel like myself. I am not taking the void of him being gone well at all. Most days, my heart feels broken. I don't like myself right now. I don't know why. I really don't. Depression? No... I'm just in a funk. It's been less than seven months and it's going to take time. My dad was my best friend. IS my best friend. I've read articles about grief when men lose their dad's and it's supposed to hurt. It's supposed to mess with you. I know I am normal in that respect but it's hard. Quitting this pales in comparison to the sadness I deal with on some days...
It is getting better. It is. Time does heal. That is what I need to focus on.
People say that you have to quit for yourself first. If I were single and didn't have kids, I'd probably still be dipping. That's just me being honest. But maybe not.
But when I really think about it... Why am I quit? Answer the damn question. I do care about myself. I care about being a good dad. I want to set a great example for my three boys. I want my wife to not have to worry about my health. She has been amazing through it all.
I quit for them. I quit for my dad because fuck Big Tobacco. I quit for me too I guess, but I have stronger reasons than just me.
Damn proud to be quit for 31 days. I quit with you all today.
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So... What's up with the dreams?
Here I am, 31 days... I am sleeping OK. Still not the best. Before, I never really remembered my dreams. Once in a while I would wake up and recall the vagueness of a dream. Now? I'm dreaming all of the time. They are not necessarily dip dreams. I think I dream about my dad some.
Just curious where this new clarity with dreams has come from. Anyone know?
I don't know but I experienced that too. I'd like to think it was from more restful sleeps after I quit, but I'm back, after my first hopefully only, dip dream, to not remembering dreams.
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I threw in a dip today in my sleep. It was my first dip dream that I have had. Not a good feeling waking up and believing that I caved. I was not a happy guy when I woke up.
At least in the dream, I hated myself for it. It tasted like garbage. I threw it out immediately. In my dream, I knew how bad I had messed up.
Interesting, to say the least. The evil nic is still trying to hang around but I beat its ass day in and day out for the past 36 days now.
Quit on, brothers.
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I threw in a dip today in my sleep. It was my first dip dream that I have had. Not a good feeling waking up and believing that I caved. I was not a happy guy when I woke up.
At least in the dream, I hated myself for it. It tasted like garbage. I threw it out immediately. In my dream, I knew how bad I had messed up.
Interesting, to say the least. The evil nic is still trying to hang around but I beat its ass day in and day out for the past 36 days now.
Quit on, brothers.
Use the way you felt in your dream after you dream caved as motivation to win the fight in your waking world. I have had several dip dreams and feel like garbage at the thought of caving, but it is a great tool against complacency. Sarge, you have been quit for 36 days in a row; there is no turning back now, but remember your dip dreams when you start to feel complacent in your quit.
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I threw in a dip today in my sleep. It was my first dip dream that I have had. Not a good feeling waking up and believing that I caved. I was not a happy guy when I woke up.
At least in the dream, I hated myself for it. It tasted like garbage. I threw it out immediately. In my dream, I knew how bad I had messed up.
Interesting, to say the least. The evil nic is still trying to hang around but I beat its ass day in and day out for the past 36 days now.
Quit on, brothers.
Use the way you felt in your dream after you dream caved as motivation to win the fight in your waking world. I have had several dip dreams and feel like garbage at the thought of caving, but it is a great tool against complacency. Sarge, you have been quit for 36 days in a row; there is no turning back now, but remember your dip dreams when you start to feel complacent in your quit.
That sucks man. That's terrible way to start a day. But now you get to experience the shame anger of caving without actually caving. B-lomatt seems to be hitting it on the head I think. You have been given the gift of knowing failure without failing. you are still with us and we with you. Quit on.
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'help'. Well today is my first day, I have visited this site many times in the past and its finally time to quit. I have been the quitter of quitting many times and I HAVE to get this monkey off my back.
I started at 18 when I was in the Marines, now I've just hit 40. The worst thing is that I have associated the dip with stress. The higher the stress the more dip I have.
I don't know how this whole site works so if anyone can point me in the right direction let me know.
\
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'help'. Well today is my first day, I have visited this site many times in the past and its finally time to quit. I have been the quitter of quitting many times and I HAVE to get this monkey off my back.
I started at 18 when I was in the Marines, now I've just hit 40. The worst thing is that I have associated the dip with stress. The higher the stress the more dip I have.
I don't know how this whole site works so if anyone can point me in the right direction let me know.
\
Check your inbox (1).
Go to the welcome center. Whatever you do, don't put any nicotine in your body.
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Day 45
Just feeling extreme gratitude to KTC and the system set in place. Without it, I'd be in deep sh*t.
Quit equals freedom.
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Day 45
Just feeling extreme gratitude to KTC and the system set in place. Without it, I'd be in deep sh*t.
Quit equals freedom.
Hey Sarge, I was thinking to myself that 47 days wasn't that many. Then I thought 1 day is the best thing you can hope for. So I am another day quit today!
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50 days feels great.
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50 days feels great.
Great job sgt. For 50 days you have proved to yourself that you don't need it and never did. It continues to get better my friend. You've made it through one of the hardest doors. Keep adding bolt locks to that door and keep them locked at all times. Glad to be quit with you.
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50 days feels great.
Great job sgt. For 50 days you have proved to yourself that you don't need it and never did. It continues to get better my friend. You've made it through one of the hardest doors. Keep adding bolt locks to that door and keep them locked at all times. Glad to be quit with you.
Thank you brother. I owe it to KTC. The program here WORKS.
I'll keep it going one day at a time. I'm proud to be quit with you too.
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50 days feels great.
Great job sgt. For 50 days you have proved to yourself that you don't need it and never did. It continues to get better my friend. You've made it through one of the hardest doors. Keep adding bolt locks to that door and keep them locked at all times. Glad to be quit with you.
Thank you brother. I owe it to KTC. The program here WORKS.
I'll keep it going one day at a time. I'm proud to be quit with you too.
Oh yeah 50! Great work getting to 50 Sgt12! Still some tough days in the 50-100 range, but you have the tools now to get through. It just keeps getting better.
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50 days feels great.
Great job sgt. For 50 days you have proved to yourself that you don't need it and never did. It continues to get better my friend. You've made it through one of the hardest doors. Keep adding bolt locks to that door and keep them locked at all times. Glad to be quit with you.
Thank you brother. I owe it to KTC. The program here WORKS.
I'll keep it going one day at a time. I'm proud to be quit with you too.
Oh yeah 50! Great work getting to 50 Sgt12! Still some tough days in the 50-100 range, but you have the tools now to get through. It just keeps getting better.
Like William Wallace said, "Freedom!!!". Congrats my brother!
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66 days.
Seeing a lot of BS around here lately. Seeing some guys from my group drop like flies. Seeing former HoF'ers cave and not care about it. Posting two day 1's on back to back days.
Who does that?
Not me. I'm quit. I post roll every single day without fail and know that I am $7 and a short drive from home away from a bad decision.
I quit today. No chew for me.
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66 days.
Seeing a lot of BS around here lately. Seeing some guys from my group drop like flies. Seeing former HoF'ers cave and not care about it. Posting two day 1's on back to back days.
Who does that?
Not me. I'm quit. I post roll every single day without fail and know that I am $7 and a short drive from home away from a bad decision.
I quit today. No chew for me.
I'm just 2 days ahead of you and pullin' You are quit my friend and you do get it! Some just won't ever get it...
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66 days.
Seeing a lot of BS around here lately. Seeing some guys from my group drop like flies. Seeing former HoF'ers cave and not care about it. Posting two day 1's on back to back days.Â
Who does that?
Not me. I'm quit. I post roll every single day without fail and know that I am $7 and a short drive from home away from a bad decision.
I quit today. No chew for me.
I'm just 2 days ahead of you and pullin' You are quit my friend and you do get it! Some just won't ever get it...
Srg, I am 181 today and the last week or so has been full of craves, suck and funk for me compared to day 100-170, but I post roll everyday and keep KTC close to me, and this has kept my tools sharp. One never knows when they might need those tools. Own your quit, quit for you, and keep doing what has worked for you since your day 1.
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First of all, I truly hope everyone at KTC had a blessed Thanksgiving.
Now, I ask for your forgiveness because I am an addict and last night, on November 28, 2013 at approximately 0100 hours, I caved.
Earlier in the night on November 27, while on my way to work, I decided that I was done with this site and the members here. I was done with my quit for the time being and I walked into a gas station and bought two cans of Skoal. I put the cans in my work jacket and waited until after midnight. I posted roll that day and I was going to keep my promise for that day—but as soon as midnight hit, I was going to cave. It was a conscious decision and I battled internally, but I knew in my head that I was going to choose to be weak and give in.
What happened? I have been battling with the thought of caving for about 15 days now. I would definitely call this a planned cave and even felt at times that it was only a matter of time before I succumbed to this bullshit addiction. It was on the eve of Thanksgiving and I was missing my dad and I honestly just gave up. I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t tell my wife that I was planning on caving. I didn’t reach out to a single soul here. Like a mindless robot, I drove to the gas station and made a huge mistake that I wish like hell I could take back. I took on an attitude of “I don’t care” and ran with it.
I caved because I am an addict and I didn’t take my quit seriously. I talked a big game and even ripped some other cavers to shreds, despite the fact that I knew I was right on their heels in giving up. I caved because I did not utilize the tools that were given to me here. I have about 10 numbers and I didn’t use a single one. The only person who I texted in the past week or so was Barca, who I can only assume is chewing again. He has left the site and has not responded to my texts. I don’t know what I expected from him. Maybe I wanted him to tell me he was chewing again so I could feel justified in caving as well. He was the first person to contact me on this site and I think him giving up (again, that’s an assumption) gave me a reason, as illogical and stupid as that sounds. I’m not blaming him—the truth is, his absence here and the assumption of his failed quit should have fueled me.
My plan was to chew these couple of cans and be done again. I would simply leave KTC and do this on my own. I felt that I didn’t owe any of you an explanation or an apology. I felt that I didn’t have to be accountable to any of you. I knew that coming back would result in me getting blasted by the true quitters here who have supported me. In my moments of not caring I simply decided that I didn’t have to deal with that. I now know that I can’t do it on my own and this site is exactly what I need to slay this addiction of 12 years once and for all. My dad died of lung cancer after more than 40 years of smoking and I talked of how I was going to break the generational cycle of nicotine addiction in my family—for MY boys. His death continues to rock me to my core and I used it as a crutch to not care. That is a huge slap in the face to him and what he would want for me. I am ashamed, but I am not giving up. I have learned from this. I am not giving up on my quit or this site. I slipped for one day and that is all it took. One day, where I chose to not battle, and here I am. I lost a battle but the war wages on and I WILL win. One day at a time. It is now time to quit for MYSELF first, because before I wasn't doing that. I was quitting for my family and I thought that would be enough. I haven't dealt with the grief of losing my dad well and at times have hated the person I have been since he died. I didn't respect myself. My self-respect was non-existent and my brief stoppage in chewing was never about me. That has to change.
What will I do different? I will actually be a contributing member here. I will quit talking a good game and actually take my quit seriously. I will use the resources here and be in contact with other quitters here (especially the veterans). I will get involved in the quits of the new members here. If IÂ’m even entertaining the idea of caving, I will pick up the phone, despite the fact that I work Graveyard and most everyone else here is sleeping.
To the new quitters here, let this be a lesson to you. I was 69 days into a quit that on the surface looked pretty solid. For 69 days, I kept tobacco out of my mouth and posted roll every single day without fail. Look at the December 2013 group—until November 28, I was a “100 percent poster.” I was winning the battle and if you would have bet me a thousand dollars that I would ever take a chew again, I would have taken that bet before you could pull your hand back. I had won, or so I thought. I should be writing a rough draft of my Hall of Fame speech, but instead, I’m here telling you how I caved like a punk.
IÂ’m still here. IÂ’m not giving in. I am an addict. I choose to fight my addiction head on and I will quit one day at a time and I will be here every day.
I am not trying to impress anyone with a long explanation here. I am writing this for me and I am being honest. December, I am sorry. I let you down. Please let this fuel your quit and don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't ever get complacent.
Life isn't about the singular mistakes we make in moments of weakness. Our true mettle is tested and revealed in our actions following those mistakes and I am here to prove to myself that I am a quitter.
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WOW! First off WTF?! C'mon man you planned your cave! That is some stupid BS. How'd you feel slapping that cancer causing turd in your lip? Did the suck go away? I don't think it did or you would not be back here so quick... I am disappointed. I could heap on the negative comments here but I am sure you know what a jackass you were behaving like. You must have felt like the biggest looser on the planet as you caved. Did you finish both cans of poison or did that first dip fill you with so much self loathing that you flushed 'em?
Second point: At least you are finally honest with yourself about your situation. You came back here after planning your cave with the intentions of being done with KTC so you must realize that it works here if you learn it, live it, and love it. I expect you to back up your talk by taking on a leadership role with your new quit group... I also think you need to make things right with your old quit group: you know how a quit-brothers cave can mess with you.
Re-read your intro thread. You did indeed talk the talk, but that makes me even more disturbed about your planned cave... BTW if you knew you were going to cave working graveyard is a BS excuse for not reaching out for the kick to the nuts you clearly needed. Damn it man I posted right here a few days ago about owning your quit and keeping your tools sharp! Just goes to show you that if you are not quitting for yourself and owning your quit, then all the quit power KTC has to offer is for naught. I am rooting for you Sarg, but you need to back-up your talk immediately.
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Hey sgt12, sounds like you thought a lot about what you need to do differently this time, you need to let your old group and March know what happened. Hopefully someone can learn from your story and not make the same mistake. 69 days down the drain sucks, seems like every group looses someone during that funk, live and learn.
PM me if you need another number, I do not mind being woke up in the middle of the night if you need help.
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Did you ever hear the sayin "Fuck me once...shame on you?" "Fuck me twice...shame on me?" He would not be welcomed back into my quit group, as the only thing he has consistantly demonstrated is a constant desire to use tobacco while throwing aside all quit protocol. I would not be shamed by this serial caver's lame excuses, as all his caves have continued to inflict harm and he is not an asset to any quit group. Cutting out this cancer is the only way to save the limb.
Sgt., I posted the above captioned quote in Chanch's intro this morning in response to his Thanksgiving Day cave. After reading your unsolicited response and explanation, I feel there is hope for you. I have always advocated giving a man the benefit of the doubt and helping him stand on his own two feet when he stumbles and falls. You, on the other hand, have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and formulated a game plan that should work for you. Accountability is all that is asked. Dont be a cancer to your new group or your old group for that matter either. Be a man. Lead the way for the new guys to follow. Stay strong and I will quit with you this fine day. I have also sent you my cell number by PM and expect a call if the urge hits you hard again. Wayne
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You missed roll yesterday. Did you cave again? Are you gone for good now? What about all that sunshine you were spewing? Just blowing it up our ass huh. Good luck to you. Maybe when you find out your way doesn't work you'll be back.
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You missed roll yesterday. Did you cave again? Are you gone for good now? What about all that sunshine you were spewing? Just blowing it up our ass huh. Good luck to you. Maybe when you find out your way doesn't work you'll be back.
Talk is cheap, ain't it Sarge? I initially thought that you might have it all together after your cave, especially in light of that lengthy essay you obviously spent hours drafting...but after 2 days and no roll posting I guess I was wrong about you. You talked the talk for a day after caving, but it is obvious you can't walk the walk.
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First of all, I truly hope everyone at KTC had a blessed Thanksgiving.
Now, I ask for your forgiveness because I am an addict and last night, on November 28, 2013 at approximately 0100 hours, I caved.
Earlier in the night on November 27, while on my way to work, I decided that I was done with this site and the members here. I was done with my quit for the time being and I walked into a gas station and bought two cans of Skoal. I put the cans in my work jacket and waited until after midnight. I posted roll that day and I was going to keep my promise for that day—but as soon as midnight hit, I was going to cave. It was a conscious decision and I battled internally, but I knew in my head that I was going to choose to be weak and give in. Â
What happened? I have been battling with the thought of caving for about 15 days now. I would definitely call this a planned cave and even felt at times that it was only a matter of time before I succumbed to this bullshit addiction. It was on the eve of Thanksgiving and I was missing my dad and I honestly just gave up. I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t tell my wife that I was planning on caving. I didn’t reach out to a single soul here. Like a mindless robot, I drove to the gas station and made a huge mistake that I wish like hell I could take back. I took on an attitude of “I don’t care” and ran with it.
I caved because I am an addict and I didnÂ’t take my quit seriously. I talked a big game and even ripped some other cavers to shreds, despite the fact that I knew I was right on their heels in giving up. I caved because I did not utilize the tools that were given to me here. I have about 10 numbers and I didnÂ’t use a single one. The only person who I texted in the past week or so was Barca, who I can only assume is chewing again. He has left the site and has not responded to my texts. I donÂ’t know what I expected from him. Maybe I wanted him to tell me he was chewing again so I could feel justified in caving as well. He was the first person to contact me on this site and I think him giving up (again, thatÂ’s an assumption) gave me a reason, as illogical and stupid as that sounds. IÂ’m not blaming him—the truth is, his absence here and the assumption of his failed quit should have fueled me.Â
My plan was to chew these couple of cans and be done again. I would simply leave KTC and do this on my own. I felt that I didn’t owe any of you an explanation or an apology. I felt that I didn’t have to be accountable to any of you. I knew that coming back would result in me getting blasted by the true quitters here who have supported me. In my moments of not caring I simply decided that I didn’t have to deal with that. I now know that I can’t do it on my own and this site is exactly what I need to slay this addiction of 12 years once and for all. My dad died of lung cancer after more than 40 years of smoking and I talked of how I was going to break the generational cycle of nicotine addiction in my family—for MY boys. His death continues to rock me to my core and I used it as a crutch to not care. That is a huge slap in the face to him and what he would want for me. I am ashamed, but I am not giving up. I have learned from this. I am not giving up on my quit or this site. I slipped for one day and that is all it took. One day, where I chose to not battle, and here I am. I lost a battle but the war wages on and I WILL win. One day at a time. It is now time to quit for MYSELF first, because before I wasn't doing that. I was quitting for my family and I thought that would be enough. I haven't dealt with the grief of losing my dad well and at times have hated the person I have been since he died. I didn't respect myself. My self-respect was non-existent and my brief stoppage in chewing was never about me. That has to change.
What will I do different? I will actually be a contributing member here. I will quit talking a good game and actually take my quit seriously. I will use the resources here and be in contact with other quitters here (especially the veterans). I will get involved in the quits of the new members here. If IÂ’m even entertaining the idea of caving, I will pick up the phone, despite the fact that I work Graveyard and most everyone else here is sleeping. Â
To the new quitters here, let this be a lesson to you. I was 69 days into a quit that on the surface looked pretty solid. For 69 days, I kept tobacco out of my mouth and posted roll every single day without fail. Look at the December 2013 group—until November 28, I was a “100 percent poster.” I was winning the battle and if you would have bet me a thousand dollars that I would ever take a chew again, I would have taken that bet before you could pull your hand back. I had won, or so I thought. I should be writing a rough draft of my Hall of Fame speech, but instead, I’m here telling you how I caved like a punk.
I’m still here. I’m not giving in. I am an addict. I choose to fight my addiction head on and I will quit one day at a time and I will be here every day.
I am not trying to impress anyone with a long explanation here. I am writing this for me and I am being honest. December, I am sorry. I let you down. Please let this fuel your quit and don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't ever get complacent.
Life isn't about the singular mistakes we make in moments of weakness. Our true mettle is tested and revealed in our actions following those mistakes and I am here to prove to myself that I am a quitter.
I didn't read past, "I caved". Once I read that, I just wondered, why? We are all addicts. Some cave but some quit.
Did you make a promise to quit that day? Was alcohol your companion when you gave in?
I'm an addict too but I never ever want to act like a dog and lap up my own vomit. Yes you are an addict but how did you forget you wanted to be done with this crap?
If you were drinking, throw that bitch out too! Obviously, your word is forgotten when you drink. No buzz or drunkeness will ever replace the value and thrill of integrity.
Get free and take back your buried integrity. Crush the skull of nicotine today, and every today you live!
Fight to win your war with this bitch! Everyone is better and more powerful than the cravings. EVERY ADDICT that honestly wants to quit will not cave. They will learn the strategy and follow it.
Quit, keep your word and repeat daily. You either didn't make a promise or you didn't keep your word. Right? Right!