KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Evil_Won on October 10, 2012, 11:49:00 PM
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Yep, it has come down to that. I have tried quitting many times but never with a support group. Failure is not an option this time. I'll post more personal info tomorrow but right now (12 hours dip free) I am ready to kill and am just going to go to bed to pass a few hours of hell.
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Yep, it has come down to that. I have tried quitting many times but never with a support group. Failure is not an option this time. I'll post more personal info tomorrow but right now (12 hours dip free) I am ready to kill and am just going to go to bed to pass a few hours of hell.
I expect to see you on the roll in the morning,
welcome to the best decision that you can make
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Yep, it has come down to that. I have tried quitting many times but never with a support group. Failure is not an option this time. I'll post more personal info tomorrow but right now (12 hours dip free) I am ready to kill and am just going to go to bed to pass a few hours of hell.
I expect to see you on the roll in the morning,
welcome to the best decision that you can make
Listen to Derek post roll and keep your word or you will fail again!
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Yep, it has come down to that. I have tried quitting many times but never with a support group. Failure is not an option this time. I'll post more personal info tomorrow but right now (12 hours dip free) I am ready to kill and am just going to go to bed to pass a few hours of hell.
That's awesome! Enjoy 'The suck". Don't ever forget what it feels like. It will be the key to keeping you quit. Drink a ton of water the next couple days dude, that and cranberry juice. It will help your body detox the next couple of days. Now you just have to do 3 things. Post roll, honor your word, and repeat. It's that simple. It won't be easy. But it's that simple.
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Evil, you haven't posted roll....?
To get the benefit of a support group, you have to join the support group. And I suggest you go all in. Read about (or ask) what it means to post roll. If you can man up to that, we WILL help you quit.
Personally, I didn't like the idea that I needed to rely on anyone to help me stay quit. (I don't like to rely on anyone to help me do anything) But just drink the koolaide and find your happy place. If I were still relying on just myself, I'd still be step'n and fetch'n for my (former) nicotine master.
PS - Quitting IS a bitch, but rest assured your addiction is no "super-addiction" that we wouldn't understand. We know what you are dealing with. It is tough. You will probably feel anxious, edgy, have head aches, be tough to get along with, etc etc. We know the BS tricks and mind games that are tempting you back to the can. But you CAN do this. We know.
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Evil,
I'm on the same day you are..Day 2. It's a bitch. But listen to these guys, especially their tricks to get by. Posting roll. A simple act, but a written promise. It's big. Water, cleanses your body of everything. If you just need to put something in your lip, go to Wal-Mart and pick up a can of Smokey Mountain. It ain't dip, but at least you'll have a similar flavor and sensation to fall back on during your quit. All steps I'm taking RIGHT NOW.
DipThis
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I did post roll and am nic-free for over 24 hours.
Someone will call “bullshit” on my intro, but it is the truth.
I was a professional chef for years. I took up dipping from one of my cooks. Seemed like a good way to chill after a stressful day, and it was. That was in 1996. Sure, I quit a few times, the longest was only for 28 days. As I write this I am on day 2 and physically and emotionally I am all over the place.
My family does not know that I ever used any form of tobacco. ThatÂ’s hard to believe, I know it, but the truth. I was living on my own when I started and never did it in front of anyone. I did it at home after work. Then of course before and after work. Then before work, driving to work, driving home from work, and then at home at night.
When I got married I tried to quit but failed. My wife would never approve if she knew. Luckily (or unluckily now looking at it) my wife works nights and I work days. She works weekends and I work weekdays. There is a lot of time alone and I spent every minute alone with a wad of shit in my mouth. If we would be home together I would sneak a dip in the bathroom (she thinks I shit a lot!!!! LOL), but I have always been a night owl and would dip while working from home at night after she went to bed.
I got a new dentist about 8 years ago and disclosed on the paperwork that I used smokeless tobacco. He never mentioned it, much less lectured me, but does a thorough cancer check every 6 months. I have never been a fan of going to a dentist in general, but every time I go I worry more of my teeth and the possibility of a cavity than I do of the effects of tobacco use.
I went yesterday for my 6 month regular check-up and cleaning. As I pulled into the parking lot I thought that my teeth have never felt better. I brush when I should and have been compulsive about flossing. It was at moment that I assumed this would be the day that the dentist asked about my dipping.
Sure enough. After the standard cleaning he said that was gums and cheek were “leathery”, irritated, and showed alarming signs of cell change. He said that I had to stop now and that he wanted to see me again in a month when I was nicotine free for 30 days. He said there is a good chance it will heal after 30 days of non-use, and didn’t think a biopsy was in order yet, but he said it didn’t look good now.
What else can I say? I have a wife that I love, and two little girls that I want to see grow up.
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Glad to see you on roll. Remember, that is not just a list. It is series of promises to me and every other person on this site. Honor your word for 24 hours. Then repeat.
I'll see you here tomorrow.
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I did post roll and am nic-free for over 24 hours.
Someone will call “bullshit” on my intro, but it is the truth.
I was a professional chef for years. I took up dipping from one of my cooks. Seemed like a good way to chill after a stressful day, and it was. That was in 1996. Sure, I quit a few times, the longest was only for 28 days. As I write this I am on day 2 and physically and emotionally I am all over the place.
My family does not know that I ever used any form of tobacco. ThatÂ’s hard to believe, I know it, but the truth. I was living on my own when I started and never did it in front of anyone. I did it at home after work. Then of course before and after work. Then before work, driving to work, driving home from work, and then at home at night.
When I got married I tried to quit but failed. My wife would never approve if she knew. Luckily (or unluckily now looking at it) my wife works nights and I work days. She works weekends and I work weekdays. There is a lot of time alone and I spent every minute alone with a wad of shit in my mouth. If we would be home together I would sneak a dip in the bathroom (she thinks I shit a lot!!!! LOL), but I have always been a night owl and would dip while working from home at night after she went to bed.
I got a new dentist about 8 years ago and disclosed on the paperwork that I used smokeless tobacco. He never mentioned it, much less lectured me, but does a thorough cancer check every 6 months. I have never been a fan of going to a dentist in general, but every time I go I worry more of my teeth and the possibility of a cavity than I do of the effects of tobacco use.
I went yesterday for my 6 month regular check-up and cleaning. As I pulled into the parking lot I thought that my teeth have never felt better. I brush when I should and have been compulsive about flossing. It was at moment that I assumed this would be the day that the dentist asked about my dipping.
Sure enough. After the standard cleaning he said that was gums and cheek were “leathery”, irritated, and showed alarming signs of cell change. He said that I had to stop now and that he wanted to see me again in a month when I was nicotine free for 30 days. He said there is a good chance it will heal after 30 days of non-use, and didn’t think a biopsy was in order yet, but he said it didn’t look good now.
What else can I say? I have a wife that I love, and two little girls that I want to see grow up.
Am glad to see you post as you are on your way to making a better you.
But you need to know that this is for you. Don't let it carry over to your job, your family. Keep it with you, be selfish as you never want to get to the point of "I will show ______" and go back to the lady nic for a 'in spite of" moment.
And you may find a little secret, but the wife probably knows what you do, but keeps it to herself, as with the smell, the little shards left behind and all.
BUT I will say, if you have been able to keep here in the dark, now is the time to get her in your corner and on your side. Tell her what you were...(past tense). Even have her read the spousal support section of the site.
You have a good thing started, don't ruin it and don't keep it a secret.
I and my 102 days, quit with you today
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Day 2: was difficult to get through work as images of a tasty dip entered my head every 2 minutes. I actually left work a little early. The fog was so bad I wasnt being productive anyway. Now I have a major headache and am fighting to keep dinner down.
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Day 2: was difficult to get through work as images of a tasty dip entered my head every 2 minutes. I actually left work a little early. The fog was so bad I wasnt being productive anyway. Now I have a major headache and am fighting to keep dinner down.
Anything that makes you feel so bad can't be that good for you can it?
The good news. Its gets better and you never have to do this again. I am proud of you man. Pat yourself on the back. You made a great decision to take your freedom back and trust me, this is all worth it. Freedom is just that good.
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It seems like you've been motivated in large part by health concerns. A great source of motivation...however
I'll offer you this from my 38 days quit; motivate yourself from deep within. Convince yourself that tobacco is not an option in your day, no matter what. It makes no difference what happens to you, tobacco will not be part of your today. Do that tomorrow (by posting roll) and carry on. I'm proud to be a quitter with you, and I expect you to stay quit today, quit again tomorrow even though you feel like shit, and continue. It's not easy, but it's worth it. It gets easier as you build resolve and put time under your belt.
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It seems like you've been motivated in large part by health concerns. A great source of motivation...however
I'll offer you this from my 38 days quit; motivate yourself from deep within. Convince yourself that tobacco is not an option in your day, no matter what. It makes no difference what happens to you, tobacco will not be part of your today. Do that tomorrow (by posting roll) and carry on. I'm proud to be a quitter with you, and I expect you to stay quit today, quit again tomorrow even though you feel like shit, and continue. It's not easy, but it's worth it. It gets easier as you build resolve and put time under your belt.
Listen to ^^^ Seth. Whatever motivated you to quit is great. Whatever motivates you to continue to quit is great. You quit because of a health scare. Use this place to convince you of the other 1000 or so reasons to quit. Read the stuff on this site when you start getting nervous with the craves. You stick with this, you will have another handful of reasons to stay quit, no matter what the dentist tells you at the end of the month. If the dentist looks at your mouth, says you're fine, and pats you on the ass for going 30 days quit, what are you gonna do? What I did about 10-20 times is get in the car and jam about half a tin of Copenhagen in my lip as a celebration of my clean bill of health and as a reward for such great self-discipline over the last 30 days. Don't repeat my stupidity. That sort of logic may sound obviously flawed and ignorant now, but it will start to sound reasonable when the nic bitch is whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
PS - get digits. exchange cell #'s, or just plain give your number to a couple of people that will track your ass down if you show signs of weakening. Do it. Do it now. If you did it already, contact some new quitters and convince them to just do it.
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This morning, day 3, work up energized for the first time in my life. I've been up for 3 hours and have not had a sip of coffee yet.
As a user, when my wife and kids went to bed, I would work from home in the basement. That was the ideal time to pop in a dip. I could have wrapped up my work in 30 minutes, but ended up surfing the net and sucking every last drop of flavor from the dip until it was 2am.
Last night, I worked in the basement, had a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, but as soon as work was done I sent to bed. I haven't been in bed before 2 am in 22 years!
Now I'm at work an hour before my meeting starts!
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This morning, day 3, work up energized for the first time in my life. I've been up for 3 hours and have not had a sip of coffee yet.
As a user, when my wife and kids went to bed, I would work from home in the basement. That was the ideal time to pop in a dip. I could have wrapped up my work in 30 minutes, but ended up surfing the net and sucking every last drop of flavor from the dip until it was 2am.
Last night, I worked in the basement, had a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, but as soon as work was done I sent to bed. I haven't been in bed before 2 am in 22 years!
Now I'm at work an hour before my meeting starts!
Good post. Feels good, huh? I promise you it will get better. There will be rough times, but all in all, the next several months will be a plethora of positive health effects. Enjoy the ride, my friend.
Cleaning nicotine out gave me more energy and stamina, which meant more excercise. At 37 years old and 2 years quit, I'm healthier than I've ever been. That's pretty common.
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip. Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip. Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip. Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip. Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
You know how many shits I took just to get a dip? And how many people probably think I have bowel issues for taking 10+ min shits (when NOT at work!)?
Its crazy the things we did for that bitch. Keep strong brother. That bitch won't get us down! Not today!
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip.� Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
You know how many shits I took just to get a dip? And how many people probably think I have bowel issues for taking 10+ min shits (when NOT at work!)?
Its crazy the things we did for that bitch. Keep strong brother. That bitch won't get us down! Not today!
Just for today. Time to retrain your brain and concentrate on the good things you can do in situations instead of slowly killing yourself. Use those situations to leave an impression on those around you that life can be lived, not just walked through. Quit with you today.
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip.� Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
You know how many shits I took just to get a dip? And how many people probably think I have bowel issues for taking 10+ min shits (when NOT at work!)?
Its crazy the things we did for that bitch. Keep strong brother. That bitch won't get us down! Not today!
Just for today. Time to retrain your brain and concentrate on the good things you can do in situations instead of slowly killing yourself. Use those situations to leave an impression on those around you that life can be lived, not just walked through. Quit with you today.
I'll be straight to the point.. What would blow is if you got cancer and died..then your girls could take the bus to the b-day party. Ever think about that? buy some seeds, gum, anything but that life killing crap. Your girls are more important...Have you read Tom Jenny's story?
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip.� Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
You know how many shits I took just to get a dip? And how many people probably think I have bowel issues for taking 10+ min shits (when NOT at work!)?
Its crazy the things we did for that bitch. Keep strong brother. That bitch won't get us down! Not today!
Just for today. Time to retrain your brain and concentrate on the good things you can do in situations instead of slowly killing yourself. Use those situations to leave an impression on those around you that life can be lived, not just walked through. Quit with you today.
I'll be straight to the point.. What would blow is if you got cancer and died..then your girls could take the bus to the b-day party. Ever think about that? buy some seeds, gum, anything but that life killing crap. Your girls are more important...Have you read Tom Jenny's story?
I was a situational dipper also - When in any situation....I dipped.
I've actually found that when I dipped I was not honest about stuff I did and did not like. I'll use Evil's thoughts on picking up the daughter from a party as an example of what I mean...
I show up 10 minutes early to pick up the daughter from a dress-up birthday party. I have a few options. 1) go in inside and catch the last 10 minutes of adolescent girls doing adolescent girl stuff, which I assume is giggling, chasing, being silly. Or I could (2) stay in the car and wait because I'm a guy that isn't into girlie stuff, even if it is only watching the daughter have fun doing girlie stuff. (oh yea, I can dip in the car, and that would be awkward inside.)
I chose Option 2 for most all of my daughters childhood. Then one day I'm sitting in a car (not exactly, but similar situation) just waiting for the her with nothing else to do except wait. I'm quit today, so dipping is not even an option. Then a thought hits me -- What the FUCK am I doing out here in the car. I need to get my ass in there and watch the daughter cut up and act crazy from a massive birthday cake sugar high! Why would ever do anything different? As wonderful as it was to realize that there was NO REASON to stay in the car and miss a great memory, I was sad to realize that I had chosen hundreds of other times to wait in the car so I could dip. I justified it by teling myself that I'm macho, and it would be ridiculous for me to go inside and risk some kid putting a toy teacup in my hand, or having to eat one of those shitty tasting EZ Bake Oven deals. sigh... what a douche I was.....don't be a douche....
Get your ass out of the car, Evil. You no longer have a reason to stay there.
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I WAS a situational dipper. When I was alone in the car - throw in a dip. When the rest of the family is alseep - throw in a dip. Waiting for my girls lesson to end - throw in a dip.
Today each of my daughters has a birthday party to attend. That means that I will be ripping my hair out trying to pass the time without sitting in my car alone dipping.
This blows
I was a situational lipper myself - as in anytime I didn't have a horseshoe of cancer in, I wanted one. Get some fake, seeds, etc and battle through it. Look around and notice all the other mindless nicotine slaves, and be proud that for today, you are not one of them.
Yea I was a situational dipper too, yep no matter what the situation I found a way to dip! If I can quit for today so can you!!
You know how many shits I took just to get a dip? And how many people probably think I have bowel issues for taking 10+ min shits (when NOT at work!)?
Its crazy the things we did for that bitch. Keep strong brother. That bitch won't get us down! Not today!
That response made me laugh out loud. For awhile my wife thought I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Chrons Disease because I was fake shittin' dippin' so often.
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Funny how things have changed for me over the past 17 days.
For the past 16 years I would throw in a huge dip after everyone was asleep, knock back a few beers, and surf the web or work from home until 2am. I would wake up the next morning dead tied and have strong coffee intravenously all day just to keep me conscious until the next night. It was an awful cycle.
If there was one good thing about my habit, it was that I didn't eat much. I was a professional chef for years and "tasted" all day long but never had time to actually sit down and eat a full meal. If I did have time to sit I chose to have a dip than a good meal.
Now, dip-less, I am getting to bed early, waking up clear headed, having one coffee a day (if that), and eating regular meal.
In 17 days I have put on 24 pounds. That may seem extreme but I have been under weight all of my life. "Never trust a skinny chef"...whatever. A skinny chef is a chef that has a bad dip, drug, alcohol or all of the above problem!
17 days ago I was 6'-1" and 164 lbs. Today I'm 188 lbs! If this keeps up I'll need to seek out a "Kill the waist" support group.
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Funny how things have changed for me over the past 17 days.
For the past 16 years I would throw in a huge dip after everyone was asleep, knock back a few beers, and surf the web or work from home until 2am. I would wake up the next morning dead tied and have strong coffee intravenously all day just to keep me conscious until the next night. It was an awful cycle.
If there was one good thing about my habit, it was that I didn't eat much. I was a professional chef for years and "tasted" all day long but never had time to actually sit down and eat a full meal. If I did have time to sit I chose to have a dip than a good meal.
Now, dip-less, I am getting to bed early, waking up clear headed, having one coffee a day (if that), and eating regular meal.
In 17 days I have put on 24 pounds. That may seem extreme but I have been under weight all of my life. "Never trust a skinny chef"...whatever. A skinny chef is a chef that has a bad dip, drug, alcohol or all of the above problem!
17 days ago I was 6'-1" and 164 lbs. Today I'm 188 lbs! If this keeps up I'll need to seek out a "Kill the waist" support group.
Nice observation.
Living to simply feed an addiction is an empty life. You are sbout reaqaint yourself with real living. I was like you. Infact, it had been so long since I simply lived life I had forgotten what it was. Addiction was normal, not life.
Damn life is better.
Good stuff. I am very happy for you. Never, never again. One day at a time.
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Here is an update. Since quitting (day 30 today) I have gained weight and been a complete asshole (more than usual). I have never been a happy-go-lucky chap. Look-my-way-and-I'll-fucking-gut-you-and-no-piece-will-ever-be-found is a much better and appropriate description.
Last night my older daughter (7), at dinner, said "Dad doesn't seem happy anymore". Kind of hit me hard. True, I have not been myself. I have had an exceptionally short temper (didn't think that was possible). I have had no energy despite eating constantly. I drink more (nowhere near excessive yet). I am unable to keep any feeling bottled up and every filter has been removed, which was unforntuate for many people during an election month. Odd thing is my wife NEVER knew I dipped. Not a clue. Not a suspicion.
Last week I met with sox2012 at Hooters (there is a pic somewhere) and he suggested I come clean to my wife and use her for support. After my daughter's bombshell, and while my daughters were taking a bath, I decided to come clean.
My wife was asking questions about my obvious funk and depression. She assumed it was an "us" issue and asked if I wanted a divorce. I told her that I had been dipping for over 4 years (couldn't admit to 16 years), since our 2nd daughter was born. She knew at that time that I was having a really hard time. I told her I had quit 29 days ago and that it was difficult.
When asked why I hid it from her for years I said because I knew that she would be upset, it's a gross habit, it kills you, etc., and I didn't want a lecture or fight. She suggested using a patch or something to keep me quit and keep me from being a bigger asshole than usual. I said that I didn't want to substitute one drug for another and that the NIC was out of my system. Every issue I now face is not NIC withdrawl, but habit withdrawl and it fucking sucks hairy balls.
Was coming clean the right thing to do? Too soon to tell.
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Funny how things have changed for me over the past 17 days.Â
For the past 16 years I would throw in a huge dip after everyone was asleep, knock back a few beers, and surf the web or work from home until 2am. I would wake up the next morning dead tied and have strong coffee intravenously all day just to keep me conscious until the next night. It was an awful cycle.
If there was one good thing about my habit, it was that I didn't eat much. I was a professional chef for years and "tasted" all day long but never had time to actually sit down and eat a full meal. If I did have time to sit I chose to have a dip than a good meal.
Now, dip-less, I am getting to bed early, waking up clear headed, having one coffee a day (if that), and eating regular meal.
In 17 days I have put on 24 pounds. That may seem extreme but I have been under weight all of my life. "Never trust a skinny chef"...whatever. A skinny chef is a chef that has a bad dip, drug, alcohol or all of the above problem!
17 days ago I was 6'-1" and 164 lbs. Today I'm 188 lbs! If this keeps up I'll need to seek out a "Kill the waist" support group.
Nice observation.
Living to simply feed an addiction is an empty life. You are sbout reaqaint yourself with real living. I was like you. Infact, it had been so long since I simply lived life I had forgotten what it was. Addiction was normal, not life.
Damn life is better.
Good stuff. I am very happy for you. Never, never again. One day at a time.
Evil -
I too gained 25 ish pounds during my quit. I took notice around day 60, thank goodness, and started to do 'weight-loss' exercise, just enough where as of now I have taken 5 lbs of that off. So the good part is that we can take the weight back off.
just remember everything in moderation (because as I also found out it tastes so damn good).
Be strong my friend.
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Here is an update. Since quitting (day 30 today) I have gained weight and been a complete asshole (more than usual). I have never been a happy-go-lucky chap. Look-my-way-and-I'll-fucking-gut-you-and-no-piece-will-ever-be-found is a much better and appropriate description.
Last night my older daughter (7), at dinner, said "Dad doesn't seem happy anymore". Kind of hit me hard. True, I have not been myself. I have had an exceptionally short temper (didn't think that was possible). I have had no energy despite eating constantly. I drink more (nowhere near excessive yet). I am unable to keep any feeling bottled up and every filter has been removed, which was unforntuate for many people during an election month. Odd thing is my wife NEVER knew I dipped. Not a clue. Not a suspicion.
Last week I met with sox2012 at Hooters (there is a pic somewhere) and he suggested I come clean to my wife and use her for support. After my daughter's bombshell, and while my daughters were taking a bath, I decided to come clean.
My wife was asking questions about my obvious funk and depression. She assumed it was an "us" issue and asked if I wanted a divorce. I told her that I had been dipping for over 4 years (couldn't admit to 16 years), since our 2nd daughter was born. She knew at that time that I was having a really hard time. I told her I had quit 29 days ago and that it was difficult.
When asked why I hid it from her for years I said because I knew that she would be upset, it's a gross habit, it kills you, etc., and I didn't want a lecture or fight. She suggested using a patch or something to keep me quit and keep me from being a bigger asshole than usual. I said that I didn't want to substitute one drug for another and that the NIC was out of my system. Every issue I now face is not NIC withdrawl, but habit withdrawl and it fucking sucks hairy balls.
Was coming clean the right thing to do? Too soon to tell.
ok now the hard response.
I personally believe you did do yourself a great favor by comming clean. As you say it may be too soon, but now you can show your wife the site and the spousal section (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp) (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp%29), along with the what to expect as this can help to show her what you are going through.
I may also lead to a good teaching situation with your daughter. My sons are slightly older at 11 and 14, but they have seen what I went through and think that it gives them a little better outlook.
just remember to be patient and reach out to them with love and kindness and let them know that it may be tough for you now, but things will get so much better soon.
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Great job. Being totally honest and upfront about your nicotine addiction is hard but getting it out in the open will help you deal with it. You have worked hard over the last 30 days and it will get easier. Nicotine didn't make you a better person. Try to get some excersise to help work through your rages. If that doesn't work, think about seeing a physician and discuss your concerns with them. You can do it.
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Hang in there, man.... the pieces will fall together. I promise you that in a few months you'll be holding your head high. Both of your previous posts hit home with me, so I could ramble on for two pages. I'll attempt to keep it brief.
Telling your wife was 100% correct. I didn't tell my wife until several weeks into my quit, so I was in the exact situation. Let her read the spouse page (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp) if she hasn't already. That made a big difference. She honestly had no idea that nicotine is an actual addiction. She was (and still is) a great help. When the kids (I had 2-year-old twins and a 7-year-old at the time) pushed me to the edge, my wife could see it coming. More than once she'd see my temper building and give me an "out" to walk away. "Did I hear the dog barking?", "Did you leave your gear in the truck?", etc, etc. She'd throw some goofy thing out that gave me reason to just walk away for a few minutes. Once I learned what the hell she was doing, it worked great. I can't thank her enough for saving my kids from a lot of grief.
Weight gain: I quit in September 2010. Like you, I would eat anything that I could get my hands on. In October 2010, I blew out my knee. I was on crutches 10 weeks. I blew up like a marshmallow. No worries. Quit is first. I hit my highest weight ever at about 255. Since that time, my quit has matured and it's given me a new "I can do anything" outlook. I've since gotten back down near my college weight. I'm currently at 222, running 3 times a week, and in the best shape of my life. At 6'-4", I'm happy with that. You can worry about all of that later. For now, just focus on your quit.
Need support or help, just PM me. I'm here bro. Quit on.....
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Day 70 Update
Quitting is a textbook example of manic depression. I can go for days when the thought of dip enters my mind every few minutes, but I never give it serious thought and it quickly goes away leaving me strong. Other times, like it did on Saturday (Day 67), I am crusing along when WHAM! a crave comes with such verocity that I start to shake, sweat, and fight the urge to cave to nic. All I can say is thank goodness for the bond of botherhood that I have formed with my fellow quitters and vets. Those whom I chat with at night in Live Chat, those that I meet for breakfast or lunch, and those that I can text with during the day. These guys are the tools that have kept me quit. I will not let them down today.
-
Day 70 Update
Quitting is a textbook example of manic depression. I can go for days when the thought of dip enters my mind every few minutes, but I never give it serious thought and it quickly goes away leaving me strong. Other times, like it did on Saturday (Day 67), I am crusing along when WHAM! a crave comes with such verocity that I start to shake, sweat, and fight the urge to cave to nic. All I can say is thank goodness for the bond of botherhood that I have formed with my fellow quitters and vets. Those whom I chat with at night in Live Chat, those that I meet for breakfast or lunch, and those that I can text with during the day. These guys are the tools that have kept me quit. I will not let them down today.
this is some strong quit - learn what it takes to defeat the bitch and put it into use when the going gets tough -
Bring it all day long
-
Day 70 Update
Quitting is a textbook example of manic depression. I can go for days when the thought of dip enters my mind every few minutes, but I never give it serious thought and it quickly goes away leaving me strong. Other times, like it did on Saturday (Day 67), I am crusing along when WHAM! a crave comes with such verocity that I start to shake, sweat, and fight the urge to cave to nic. All I can say is thank goodness for the bond of botherhood that I have formed with my fellow quitters and vets. Those whom I chat with at night in Live Chat, those that I meet for breakfast or lunch, and those that I can text with during the day. These guys are the tools that have kept me quit. I will not let them down today.
this is some strong quit - learn what it takes to defeat the bitch and put it into use when the going gets tough -
Bring it all day long
These tools have kept me quit as well Evil. Nicely done.
-
Day 70 Update
Quitting is a textbook example of manic depression. I can go for days when the thought of dip enters my mind every few minutes, but I never give it serious thought and it quickly goes away leaving me strong. Other times, like it did on Saturday (Day 67), I am crusing along when WHAM! a crave comes with such verocity that I start to shake, sweat, and fight the urge to cave to nic. All I can say is thank goodness for the bond of botherhood that I have formed with my fellow quitters and vets. Those whom I chat with at night in Live Chat, those that I meet for breakfast or lunch, and those that I can text with during the day. These guys are the tools that have kept me quit. I will not let them down today.
this is some strong quit - learn what it takes to defeat the bitch and put it into use when the going gets tough -
Bring it all day long
These tools have kept me quit as well Evil. Nicely done.
Evil, Looks like you got your misenplace! Nicely done on the quitting. I had some rough patches from the 60's - 80's after that I definitely went to the next level, because the craves subsided dramatically. It get's way better, and I'm feeling really good right now. Freedom one day at a time.
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Looks like you got your misenplace!
Oui chef.
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Hey, thanks again for the help on the rib roast.
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I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I.
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
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I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I.
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
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I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.Â
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.Â
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.Â
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I.Â
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
Ditto 'Cheers'
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GREAT stuff, Evil! Thanks for making my quit stronger today.
-
Evil
Congrats on hitting such a great benchmark. I've spoken with you before about "ninja dipping" and I know the things you described well. The lying. The hiding. The making decisions to steal time you can spend with people you love in order to sit on the toilet and dip.
Your story has been so helpful for me, specifically in my earlier days of quit and you've been a huge help.
Keep it up!
(and get to the dentist!)
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that there's some good diarrhea Evil...thanks for strengthening my quit today. and 'Grats on the milestone too...
-
I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.Â
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.Â
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.Â
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I. Â
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
Ditto 'Cheers'
Fucking inspiring words, my man. You are a quit Gladiator. I am proud to be quit with you today.
-
Today is day 2 of my quit. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your story and it was helpful for me.
-
Did you copyright that or can I steal most of it when I get to 100? Kidding, of course. Loved every word of it, dude. Stole a lot of my daily thoughts through this battle. Never met you and I'm proud as hell of you.
-
outfuckingstanding
-
I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.Â
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.Â
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.Â
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I. Â
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
Ditto 'Cheers'
Fucking inspiring words, my man. You are a quit Gladiator. I am proud to be quit with you today.
You truly are :ph43r: :ph43r: :ph43r: Proud to quit with you!
-
I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.Â
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.Â
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.Â
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I. Â
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
Ditto 'Cheers'
Fucking inspiring words, my man. You are a quit Gladiator. I am proud to be quit with you today.
You truly are :ph43r: :ph43r: :ph43r: Proud to quit with you!
FUCK YEAH!!! INSPIRATIONAL, MOTIVATIONAL, EPIC!!!
You, sir, are one bad-ass quitter!!
-
I'm throwing my long ass HOF speech in here, because....I can.
16,543. That is me, a number, nothing special. I am the 16,543rd member to register at Kill the Can. I am also other numbers (move over Rainman, you phag). I started dipping when I was 24 and quit when I was 40. That means that I was intentionally killing myself for 40% of my life.Â
I spent on average 10-12 hours a day with a huge dip in. Conservatively, thatÂ’s 58,400 hours of active dipping. ThatÂ’s 17% of all hours that I have been alive IÂ’ve been trying to die.Â
At 1.2 minimum ounces per can, and one can day, thatÂ’s 8.4 ounces per week, 438 ounces per year and 7,008 ounces over 16 years. ThatÂ’s 438 pounds of dip consumed.
At 2.5” diameter and 7/8” height, a can of dip has a volume of 4.3 cu.in. That’s 30.1 a week, 1569.5 a year or 25,112 cubic inches of dip over 16 years. That’s 14.53 cubic feet, or a decent full refrigerator’s worth.
The average cost of $5.84 per can, at one a day, for 16 years is $34,105.60. ThatÂ’s the same price as a 2013 Ford Mustang GT Premium.
I am not the 16,543rd person to make the Hall of Fame however; many have fallen to old habits. Call dip whatever you wish: moist tobacco, cat turd, snuff, etc. I call it evil and for 16 years it won over every decision in my life.
• Evil won the battle between having a multi-hour dip alone at home, and crashing at my wife’s place (then girlfriend), a former Playboy Lingerie Issue model.
• Evil won the battle between spending quality time with my daughters, and hiding in the bathroom sneaking a dip.
• Evil won the battle between chilling out with my wife, and pretending to have hours of work to do in my office.
• Evil won the battle between spending $5 on lunch, and spending $5 on a can of dip.
• Evil won the battle between getting to bed at 11pm, and dipping until 2 am.Â
• Evil won the battle between eating three squares a day, and being called anorexic (no time to eat with a mouthful of shit).
• Evil won the battle between driving the shortest route from point A to point B, and driving for miles out of the way just to savor a few extra minutes of dip time. I did however expense those miles so that was nice.
• Evil won the battle between hugging my wife and risking her feeling the can in my back pocket (between my wallet and me), and abstaining from showing affection to my soul mate.
• Evil won the battle between saving money to spend on things my family needed, and sneaking $5 at a time for dip.
• Evil won the battle between staying at the hospital when my 16 month old had pneumonia, and racing home to dip by myself thinking it would help me relax. What a loser father I was.
• Evil won the battle between being a complete loner, recluse, addicted douche bag, and openly discussing my problem with the woman that I made a vow to. (I’m still a loner, recluse, and douchebag but at least I admitted to my wife that I was a dipper).
I am an addict, and asshole, and a raging douche bag (although I do not have a fake DB tan). Always have been in every component of my life, and always will be. There is no pill cure for nicotine addiction or for being a douche.
Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer: lung, breast, liver, brain, you name it. Read that again, it’s not an exaggeration. Everyone on my mother’s side of the family has died from cancer. A cousin and I have searched for a death of natural causes, a stroke, a grabber, bolt of lightning, the fucking Titanic…no luck. Cancer. My mom never smoked and rarely drinks; only the occasional vodka gimlet with extra lime juice on a holiday. She never went in the sun yet fought skin cancer. Now she is battling uterine cancer and undergoing chemo. When I was little my mom told me that if I ever smoked she “would break my knees”. When a Sicilian woman tells you that, it is a literal threat not an empty promise. I never smoked, and still have knees, but I did dip and she never knew about it. Maybe if she caught me Uncle Cosmo would have broken my legs and I would have quit years ago.
Never have I loved and hated something with such voracity as I do with dip. I craved it and would go to extremes to get it. I would plan ahead to have enough for the weekend or stash away enough for a ninja-dipping vacation with the family. Every time I bought a can I hated it. I hated giving the money to Big Tobacco. I hated that nicotine was more important than my family and my own life. I hated that every gas station near my home would have a tin on the counter ready as soon as I walked in. I hated the fear getting an oral cancer diagnosis from the dentist. I hate the debate in my head of whether I will fight it and live disfigured for a few more years, or if I will lay down, accept my fate, and hopefully go quickly. I wanted to quit with every can bought, but was a weak pussy addict.
Evil won.
The bad news was delivered by my dentist on my quit date, 10/10/12. He said things that I will never forget. “I see cellular changes”. “It doesn’t look good at all”. “I’m not going to send you for a biopsy yet, but I want to see you in 30 days after you are nicotine free”. “I want you to be a patient for a long time”. Have I been back to the dentist? No. Why not? I have no idea. I’m an asshole, an addict, and a douche bag. Maybe what he saw 100 days ago healed itself. Maybe what he saw then is now stage 1 or 2 cancer. My actions make no sense. You can never understand or reason with an addict, an asshole, or a douche bag.
Am I afraid? Yes and no. I am not afraid of death. I taunt death on a daily basis and appreciate physical pain (all chefs love all forms of pain – be it a burn (accidental or a intentional contest of pain tolerance), a cut (same circumstances as a burn), an 18 day on your feet, or other self-destructive abuse). What I do fear is knowing that my daughters may grow up without me; that they will feel that something in this world was more important than them. That is simply not true. They were and are more important, but there was something stronger than I was. Maybe I won’t be at their college graduation. Maybe not even their high school graduation. Maybe I won’t be there to walk them down the isle, or to see my grandkids. These thoughts torture me daily and they are my own doing.
Upon leaving the dentist that day I threw out everything and went into an immediate funk, fog, shock and do not remember how I stumbled onto KTC that night, but I am glad I did. This site works for me. Quit for today and today only. Post roll and promise to your group that you will not use nicotine in any form. Repeat tomorrow. So simple and yet it works.
If anyone is still reading (sorry for my diarrhea of the keyboard) hopefully it is a newbie that just joined or is thinking of joining. You canÂ’t quit nic alone. Sure, one in a hundred may be able to, but chances are you are not him. I couldnÂ’t do it. I would have caved every day after day one. Why didnÂ’t I cave? Why didnÂ’t evil win on any of the previous 99 days? Because I got involved here. I got to know my fellow quit badass brothers. I made a promise to them that I would not use and I stuck to it. I did not want to let them down! We have a bond, a brotherhood; we quit at the same time and pulled through the fog together. They didnÂ’t cave today and neither will I. Â
At night, or whenever possible, when my cravings are the worst I log into Live Chat. Chat is where I really got to know guys from KTC and they are the ONLY reason I am quit. So, shout out and everlasting gratitude to those I chat with day and night and text with during the day. I will not name specific names for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are. Maybe you were they guy that sent me my first PM words of encouragement. Maybe the guy that first offered a phone number. Maybe you were the first guy that gave me a shout-out as a supporter in Jackwagin Roll. Maybe you are the first guy to ask via text, how big my cock is or if I am nude in Chat (the answers are huge and of course). Hold your head up high today for you helped someone reach the HOF and maybe even avoid a horrific death. You are badass quitters and I think of you all as friends. I hope that I have been able to pay a little forward to the newbies that have come after me.
100 days nicotine free. An excuse to ramble on, but I am not cured. Dip was, and is, evil and I am still an addict, an asshole, and a douche bag. A cave is, and will always be, lurking. I will not think about the second floor, next month, or even tomorrow. I will quit for today. I made my pledge to not use today by posting roll, and I will repeat tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, a new struggle, and I will face it then.
Your pal,
Evil
Great Stuff Bro!!
Ditto 'Cheers'
Fucking inspiring words, my man. You are a quit Gladiator. I am proud to be quit with you today.
You truly are :ph43r: :ph43r: :ph43r: Proud to quit with you!
FUCK YEAH!!! INSPIRATIONAL, MOTIVATIONAL, EPIC!!!
You, sir, are one bad-ass quitter!!
'worship'
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First, Wow! Lots of positive feedback...thank you.
Second, to everyone telling me to get back to the dentist, via PM, email, text, or FB, your message has been heard. I have never been called so many names before, and some of those names really hurt (fully deserved).
One Jackwagin Bro even sent a message saying that if I agree to go, he will go too. I love my Jackwagin' bros (full homo).
I am going in on Wednesday the 23rd and he is going in early March.
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First, Wow! Lots of positive feedback...thank you.
Second, to everyone telling me to get back to the dentist, via PM, email, text, or FB, your message has been heard. I have never been called so many names before, and some of those names really hurt (fully deserved).
One Jackwagin Bro even sent a message saying that if I agree to go, he will go too. I love my Jackwagin' bros (full homo).
I am going in on Wednesday the 23rd and he is going in early March.
Excellent choice, bro. Get it done. Hope your fears are all for naught.
Very nice HOF speech, too.
Long-winded, crass, vulgar, and pissy...... like an asshole/douche.
But heartfelt, dedicated, and helpful..... like a KTC brother.
I quit with you today.
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First, Wow! Lots of positive feedback...thank you.
Second, to everyone telling me to get back to the dentist, via PM, email, text, or FB, your message has been heard. I have never been called so many names before, and some of those names really hurt (fully deserved).
One Jackwagin Bro even sent a message saying that if I agree to go, he will go too. I love my Jackwagin' bros (full homo).
I am going in on Wednesday the 23rd and he is going in early March.
Excellent choice, bro. Get it done. Hope your fears are all for naught.
Very nice HOF speech, too.
Long-winded, crass, vulgar, and pissy...... like an asshole/douche.
But heartfelt, dedicated, and helpful..... like a KTC brother.
I quit with you today.
good deal, you made the right call Evil, if not for you the right call for your family.
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First, Wow! Lots of positive feedback...thank you.
Second, to everyone telling me to get back to the dentist, via PM, email, text, or FB, your message has been heard. I have never been called so many names before, and some of those names really hurt (fully deserved).
One Jackwagin Bro even sent a message saying that if I agree to go, he will go too. I love my Jackwagin' bros (full homo).
I am going in on Wednesday the 23rd and he is going in early March.
Excellent choice, bro. Get it done. Hope your fears are all for naught.
Very nice HOF speech, too.
Long-winded, crass, vulgar, and pissy...... like an asshole/douche.
But heartfelt, dedicated, and helpful..... like a KTC brother.
I quit with you today.
good deal, you made the right call Evil, if not for you the right call for your family.
I'm not pussing out, but my appointment got bumped to next Wednesday at 4:45 because my wife and two daughters were nice enough to give me the flu.
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First, Wow! Lots of positive feedback...thank you.
Second, to everyone telling me to get back to the dentist, via PM, email, text, or FB, your message has been heard. I have never been called so many names before, and some of those names really hurt (fully deserved).
One Jackwagin Bro even sent a message saying that if I agree to go, he will go too. I love my Jackwagin' bros (full homo).
I am going in on Wednesday the 23rd and he is going in early March.
Excellent choice, bro. Get it done. Hope your fears are all for naught.
Very nice HOF speech, too.
Long-winded, crass, vulgar, and pissy...... like an asshole/douche.
But heartfelt, dedicated, and helpful..... like a KTC brother.
I quit with you today.
good deal, you made the right call Evil, if not for you the right call for your family.
I'm not pussing out, but my appointment got bumped to next Wednesday at 4:45 because my wife and two daughters were nice enough to give me the flu.
oh you better get over this flu and get your butt in there. if this panzy ass panic attacking quitter can do it you sure can. i have all the faith in the world it will turn out to be a clean bill of health.
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I'm not pussing out, but my appointment got bumped to next Wednesday at 4:45 because my wife and two daughters were nice enough to give me the flu.
Ill be here waiting for an update.
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Good luck today. Let me know how things go.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
awesome news. proud to here it.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
awesome news. proud to here it.
Glad to hear all is well Evil. I am dreading that trip too. My father-in-law just had a small squamous cell carcinoma pop up in his throat. They ended up doing a radical neck disection just to be safe. Nasty shit man. Then chemo, radiation and the whole bit. The good news is all the shit in my mouth I was worried about is pretty well cleared up.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
awesome news. proud to here it.
Glad to hear all is well Evil. I am dreading that trip too. My father-in-law just had a small squamous cell carcinoma pop up in his throat. They ended up doing a radical neck disection just to be safe. Nasty shit man. Then chemo, radiation and the whole bit. The good news is all the shit in my mouth I was worried about is pretty well cleared up.
Awsome buddie!!
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
awesome news. proud to here it.
Glad to hear all is well Evil. I am dreading that trip too. My father-in-law just had a small squamous cell carcinoma pop up in his throat. They ended up doing a radical neck disection just to be safe. Nasty shit man. Then chemo, radiation and the whole bit. The good news is all the shit in my mouth I was worried about is pretty well cleared up.
Awsome buddie!!
Awesome news! Glad to hear everything went well.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congrats Evil_Won. I've been thinking about that damn dreaded day for years. The effin' dentist. There is something to be said for the differences in courage it takes to quit with a bunch of avatars and then announce to a real person what you did to try and kill yourself for X number of years. I know you couldn't have looked forward to the crap he (or she) might say about your damn mouth. It takes balls just to show up for that damn appointment, so congrats on two levels.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congratulations. And thanks for keeping me posted.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congratulations. And thanks for keeping me posted.
So, you think you got lucky?
What exactly was using to examine your mouth?
I didn't know that dentists still did that.
G wants his number.
(In all seriousness, good for you.)
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congrats Evil_Won. I've been thinking about that damn dreaded day for years. The effin' dentist. There is something to be said for the differences in courage it takes to quit with a bunch of avatars and then announce to a real person what you did to try and kill yourself for X number of years. I know you couldn't have looked forward to the crap he (or she) might say about your damn mouth. It takes balls just to show up for that damn appointment, so congrats on two levels.
You Dumbass Dlee3,
Need to reexamine your quit. Oh, wait, you're a troll??? Why U NO POST ROLL???
You're not quit, I see.
The MEN I call on my phone for help are NOT avatars...They are my real life ANGELS!
Fuck off Dlee3! Go on back to your nic bitch!
Cheers to Wastepanel, Loot, all the REAL Men who are taking their life back from the nicotine Bitch.
That is great news Evil One, but pay attention to what Waste is saying...have questions...PM him for clarification. He is a Brother of Quit.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
awesome news. proud to here it.
Glad to hear all is well Evil. I am dreading that trip too. My father-in-law just had a small squamous cell carcinoma pop up in his throat. They ended up doing a radical neck disection just to be safe. Nasty shit man. Then chemo, radiation and the whole bit. The good news is all the shit in my mouth I was worried about is pretty well cleared up.
Awsome buddie!!
Awesome news! Glad to hear everything went well.
Happy to hear everything is OK in there. Now to keep going every six months..... Grats man.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congrats Evil_Won. I've been thinking about that damn dreaded day for years. The effin' dentist. There is something to be said for the differences in courage it takes to quit with a bunch of avatars and then announce to a real person what you did to try and kill yourself for X number of years. I know you couldn't have looked forward to the crap he (or she) might say about your damn mouth. It takes balls just to show up for that damn appointment, so congrats on two levels.
You Dumbass Dlee3,
Need to reexamine your quit. Oh, wait, you're a troll??? Why U NO POST ROLL???
You're not quit, I see.
The MEN I call on my phone for help are NOT avatars...They are my real life ANGELS!
Fuck off Dlee3! Go on back to your nic bitch!
Cheers to Wastepanel, Loot, all the REAL Men who are taking their life back from the nicotine Bitch.
That is great news Evil One, but pay attention to what Waste is saying...have questions...PM him for clarification. He is a Brother of Quit.
Awesome!! You're the second supportive quitter in a week that has encouraged me to go back to nicotine. What a swell thing to say!! And to commend me for being a dumbass troll at the same time? Now that's just classy. And correct, too. Everything I've posted on this site so far has been crude and insensitive and just generally the work of a dumbass troll.
I apologize for the use of the word avatar in my congratulatory (dumbass troll) reply to Evil_Won. I forgot to ask you if that was something that all of us have beside our names but was considered a taboo topic. I noticed the first day that I signed on here that I was actually looking at a bunch of metaphorical avatars. The word metaphor means to compare two things directly to make language more lively and vivid. In the case of my earlier post, I stupidly compared real people to avatars, wholly unaware that I should have sought your approval for such linguistic folly.
Lastly, I have posted roll every day for 17 days. If I miss a day, I promise to get on here and say I SORRY I NO POST ROLL!!!
Thanks again for your support.
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Went to the dentist after work. Was supposed to go on day 30, but alas, my actions do not make sense and day 113 would have to do. I praised KTC, it's simple formula, and all you badass quitters for your support. Doc said I look 100% normal, as far as the "cellular changes" he saw 113 days ago.Â
Now, my quit brothers, I am no hypocrite so I can tell you slackers to get your asses to the dentist.
I think I got lucky.
Congrats Evil_Won. I've been thinking about that damn dreaded day for years. The effin' dentist. There is something to be said for the differences in courage it takes to quit with a bunch of avatars and then announce to a real person what you did to try and kill yourself for X number of years. I know you couldn't have looked forward to the crap he (or she) might say about your damn mouth. It takes balls just to show up for that damn appointment, so congrats on two levels.
You Dumbass Dlee3,
Need to reexamine your quit. Oh, wait, you're a troll??? Why U NO POST ROLL???
You're not quit, I see.
The MEN I call on my phone for help are NOT avatars...They are my real life ANGELS!
Fuck off Dlee3! Go on back to your nic bitch!
Cheers to Wastepanel, Loot, all the REAL Men who are taking their life back from the nicotine Bitch.
That is great news Evil One, but pay attention to what Waste is saying...have questions...PM him for clarification. He is a Brother of Quit.
Awesome!! You're the second supportive quitter in a week that has encouraged me to go back to nicotine. What a swell thing to say!! And to commend me for being a dumbass troll at the same time? Now that's just classy. And correct, too. Everything I've posted on this site so far has been crude and insensitive and just generally the work of a dumbass troll.
I apologize for the use of the word avatar in my congratulatory (dumbass troll) reply to Evil_Won. I forgot to ask you if that was something that all of us have beside our names but was considered a taboo topic. I noticed the first day that I signed on here that I was actually looking at a bunch of metaphorical avatars. The word metaphor means to compare two things directly to make language more lively and vivid. In the case of my earlier post, I stupidly compared real people to avatars, wholly unaware that I should have sought your approval for such linguistic folly.
Lastly, I have posted roll every day for 17 days. If I miss a day, I promise to get on here and say I SORRY I NO POST ROLL!!!
Thanks again for your support.
Evil_Won, I'm sorry your intro page has to be cluttered....
Dlee, I think you missed the focus of 30's ire. It's not the insult of the avatar, it's the insult of the COURAGE. To diminish another quitter's courage is a pretty chicken shit approach to this horrible addiction we all struggle with here. Yes, the dentist is scary, but learning to live life without stuffing your face with cancer is, believe it or not, very scary for new quitters and sometimes the most difficult thing to learn. Yes, it does take courage to quit, courage to take your life back from something that only wants to take life away from you. There is no difference in courage, not in my book, which is why I call someone who quits aggressively, helping others in the process, a bad ass quitter. NOT someone with 30-something posts since June of 2012 (including this bit of trolling).
I will again finish with a big high five for the Evil_Won. If anyone needs to know why he is a bad ass quitter with COURAGE, please refer to his hall of fame speech.
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I get called a troll twice for congratulating somebody on a happy dentist visit and there is no mention of the super classy guy that told me to go back to nicotine? Really? And 30 said nothing about courage in his unprovoked rant to me. I'm sure if Evil thought I had diminished his courage, he would have absolutely let me know. He's got my number.
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Dlee, you just do not get the friggin point...but, of course, someone with 39 posts attributable to themselves in...how many months have you been a member? You are and always shall be just a troll in my book. See ya Cupcake.
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I found this and it looks like Evil made a 911 call. Or someone greatly resembling him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88)
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
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I found this and it looks like Evil made a 911 call. Or someone greatly resembling him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88)
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
LOL!!!! How did you stumble across that???? And BTW, I can't spell ewekalipptus either.
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I found this and it looks like Evil made a 911 call. Or someone greatly resembling him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzR1sKteY88)
'crackup'Â 'crackup'Â 'crackup'
LOL!!!! How did you stumble across that???? And BTW, I can't spell ewekalipptus either.
Just stumbled on it listening to tom Mabe prank calls. This one is funny as hell too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmKtS-k12b0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmKtS-k12b0)
And that is why I live on K Street.
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I get called a troll twice for congratulating somebody on a happy dentist visit and there is no mention of the super classy guy that told me to go back to nicotine? Really? And 30 said nothing about courage in his unprovoked rant to me. I'm sure if Evil thought I had diminished his courage, he would have absolutely let me know. He's got my number.
I've never had any issue with Dlee3 in here (which is MY into, BTFW, so take your merda to a large forum for a better debate and more judging eyes). I've never had any issue with Dlee3 in chat, April 2013, in PMs, or via text.
Maybe he joined 6 months ago but didn't have the "courage" to quit then. Looks like he does now, as by his posting roll in April, so I'll stand behind him (no homo).
They do not have a spreadsheet so I can't say what % of a poster he is, but since he posted his into he has been a solid presence. Yes, 39 posts since June, but he's only on day 19 of a lifelong struggle. A few guys that just boarded the train did not have more posts than days quit and they were extended a hand.
I not only took no offense to Dlee's "courage" reference, but I clearly understood what he meant. It was not difficult to do.
Move the fuck on. There is nothing to see here.
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Move the fuck one. There is nothing to see here.
Wrong about that, Evil. I got to use the word "folly" today. Some people might enjoy seeing that. It's a great word and can be incorporated into many conversations.
Seriously, though, the reason I say you're wrong about "nothing to see here" is because your HOF speech is on here. I've read it at least five times along with many other pearls of Evil wisdom. Sorry I somehow became a really, really nice dumbass troll on your intro thread today.
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Move the fuck one. There is nothing to see here.
Wrong about that, Evil. I got to use the word "folly" today. Some people might enjoy seeing that. It's a great word and can be incorporated into many conversations.
Seriously, though, the reason I say you're wrong about "nothing to see here" is because your HOF speech is on here. I've read it at least five times along with many other pearls of Evil wisdom. Sorry I somehow became a really, really nice dumbass troll on your intro thread today.
Face itdlee, you are a trolling prick with no courage. You also post late, and I am sure your fett stink to all high hell. 'na na'
Just fucking with you. Goo tto see you showing some support around here.
Oh, and congrat Evil - what did you cook as a celebratory dinner, and can you share the recipe?
And April does have a spreadsheet,I believe mr dlee is at 100%. Which is badass.
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Writing for me is therapeutic so I am putting this here in my space. It is about addiction, but not to nicotine this time. It is about my drug addiction to a prescribed medicine and my two year battle to get off of it. It may become long, dark, and violent. I have no “finish” in mind as I write this. I don’t even know where I’m going with this. Reader discretion is advised. I do not suggest ANYONE do anything that I did. Remember, I am an addict, an asshole, and a douche.
Here goes.
I was on Cymbalta for 4 years. Four plus years ago my second daughter was born and I had a very hard time balancing a 3 year old girl, a newborn, a wife that worked nights and weekends, a shitty job, life, maintaining the ninja lifestyle etc. Mrs. Evil talked me into “talking to someone”, something I was against, but for the sake of our marriage I was willing. After 15 minutes of talking, the psychologist I was seeing wanted to put me on meds to control my OCD (which I admit was getting a little insane) and this “depression” he said I had. He called his RX writer, doctor friend, who had no issue writing a script for a mind-altering drug for someone that she had never met nor knew anything about. Like an asshole I took the pills. Side note – she first gave me Paxil but that had adverse effects on my “piece” so I had to change.
Yes, Cymbalta worked to lessen the grip of OCD, but it made me an emotional nothing. No moments of mania. No moments of sorrow. No feelings of any kind. I was basically deader than ever. Friend died? No feelings. Daughter busted her head open. No feelings. Dog died? No feelings. Teenager shot outside of my office? No feelings. Mother in lawÂ’s suicide? No feelings. The future? No feelings.
After 2 years I started to see the light that this “medicine” was not helping and was only masking me off from who I really am…me. I am not a happy go lucky guy. Never was and don’t want to be. I have no friends and I’m fine with that. I don’t like being physically touched and dislike people in general. However, I enjoy talking to strangers and have always gotten along better with criminals, junkies, and near-do-wells. I am a cynic and not afraid to speak my mind. I enjoy living my life as a line in one of my favorite songs goes, “if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...But maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and one more thing...fuck you! “
Insurance wasn’t paying for the quack psychologist anymore so I needed someone new to intervene. I went to my “Primary Care” physician and told him I wanted off this drug. He kept trying to push me off to a psychiatrist, but I was done “talking about it”. All I wanted to talk about getting off this shit. He wasn’t going to help me, so fuck him. I told me off and was escorted out of the hospital by security (if I was really nuts wouldn’t they have taken me to the crazy floor?).
Now, for those of you crazies that are on medicines and they are doing you good. SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. What do I need a shrink for? I can do this on my own. I have a PH fuckin D in Google, bitch! Like a junkie, I sat in my car each morning and opened the capsule. I carefully removed 10 of those tiny little ball things (and threw them on the floor of my car). I did that for a week, then started removing 20 little ball thingys each day. By the time I got down to pulling about 50 out I was in hell. My brain had been rewired and was full blown addicted and I was weaning my noodleÂ’s drug. I was seeing spots. Seeing bugs crawl around that were not there. The brain zaps were deafening. I was miserable and saw that I was in over my head. No psychologist.
No physician. Nothing. Alone again. Somehow I managed to keep it together enough to be sane around my kids and always went to work. I later learned that the term hallucinating is only used when you see dead people, which I did not. Too fucking bad. I would have loved to talk to Elvis or John Lennon while sitting on the shitter instead watching imaginary cockroaches race around.
I found a new Primary Care physician minutes from my house. I told her all along that I wanted to get off the drugs. She too tried to pass the buck to a shrink. What I then realized was NOT that she and the other doctor didnÂ’t want to help me, they just didnÂ’t know how. ItÂ’s very easy to put someone on these drugs but getting them off is not so easy. I hounded her, begged her, to get me off the drugs. I was matter of fact when I said that going to a shrink was not an option. (See the irrational addict mind here in all its glory?) After a few moments of silence she said she would help be but it had to be done her way, the long way. With weekly visits WITH MY WIFE to get her input on changes in my behavior. Her plan was going to take about a year.
At this time, my chronic back issues came back with a vengeance. I have massive spinal problems and have had surgery in the past, knowing that more surgery in the future was a very likely outcome. I was having trouble standing, walking, and sitting. The pain was getting to be too much, which for me to say is really something. I begged my doctor for something to manage the pain but was denied. She didn’t want to add a drug into the mix “of all the other medicines I was on”. Really? The only medicine I was taking was the shit I was trying to get off of. Long story short, we had a “fuck you session” and I left her practice. Addict brain at its finest. I saw her no different than the drug pushing MD. Instead of maybe getting a kickback from the drug manufacturer she was billing insurance weekly hundreds of dollars for a 10 second conversation with my wife and me. I may be an addict, an asshole, and a douche but the healthcare and insurance system in the country is far more fucked up than I have ever been.
At this point I was new to KTC and thought that if I can quit dip cold turkey I could quit this shit too. I wanted to reach the HOF free of all drugs. Again – I do not advise anyone to follow my lead. I beg anyone reading to work with their doctor. I studied the “half-life” of the drug and researched withdrawal. I figured I would be in for a few days of hell. Understatement of a lifetime!
24 hours in, the brain zaps were bad and only got worse and more intense by the hour. Seeing things. Physical pains. Thoughts of homicide and suicide (only passing thoughts). Abdominal pain so intense while trying to sleep at night I thought I was being ripped in half or beaten with a sledgehammer. I jammed a dinner fork deep into my arm for no reason. I had become a “cutter” like an EMO teenage girl that felt alone. I was burning myself intentionally hoping that the physical pain would overtake the mental anguish. Of course I lied and denied everything to Mrs. Evil when she would ask about blood on a shirt and shit like that. She would show concern when I would take things out of the oven without an oven mitt with a laugh and a smile, and would then watch the blisters rise while we ate. I reassured her that she and the girls were never in harm’s way and that I had to keep doing this. I had to keep going thinking I was over the worst of it and didn’t want to relive the horrors of “day 1” again. Mrs. Evil knows me well enough to know that when I have my mind set on something trying to talk me out of it only strengthens my desire to continue. She did make me swear that I had to tell her right away if the “Really bad thoughts” involved her or the kids. Of course I agreed and they never did.
This Hell of all hells lasted for a solid six weeks of pure hell unlike anything I could have ever imagined. I reached the HOF drug free. No nicotine, anti-depressants/OCD, or opiates for chronic pain. Nothing. It took another 35 days past HOF for the brain zaps to fully stop. I am not cured of anything, especially being an addict, asshole, and douche.
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Every day I am pissed that I ever started using dip. Every day I wish I had quit years ago. But, I canÂ’t change that so I am going to focus on the present and what I can do about it now. I feel very fortunate that I quit on 10/10/12. Not only for the obvious reasons like avoiding an early death, but for the reason that I became a Jackwagin. The first few days were a blur and I canÂ’t recall details, but shortly after the nic left my system I was able to see things clearly.
One of the first things I saw was the group name, “January Jackwagins”. I said to myself, “Self, what the fuck is a Jackwagin?” Can these guys not spell wagon? Was I missing something? I had a quit to obsess over so I let it go. While quitting it became obvious that this was a very special group of quitters. Every day it is obvious that these guys are passionate about all sorts of things including fellow Jackwagin’s quits. They are smart, worldly, courageous, addicts, funny as fuck, caring, and genuine.
I genuinely appreciate that banter, the texts, the emails, the PMs, the calls, the accountability, the brotherhood, and the humorÂ…especially the humor. They have made quitting a little easier. One day I hope to meet each and every one of them and shake their hands for helping me remain quit. No, itÂ’s more than that. A handshake isnÂ’t enough.
Proud to be a Jackwagin. Bro Fist (http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc6/s160x160/224564_384676858269908_391496679_a.jpg)
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Every day I am pissed that I ever started using dip. Every day I wish I had quit years ago. But, I canÂ’t change that so I am going to focus on the present and what I can do about it now. I feel very fortunate that I quit on 10/10/12. Not only for the obvious reasons like avoiding an early death, but for the reason that I became a Jackwagin. The first few days were a blur and I canÂ’t recall details, but shortly after the nic left my system I was able to see things clearly.
One of the first things I saw was the group name, “January Jackwagins”. I said to myself, “Self, what the fuck is a Jackwagin?” Can these guys not spell wagon? Was I missing something? I had a quit to obsess over so I let it go. While quitting it became obvious that this was a very special group of quitters. Every day it is obvious that these guys are passionate about all sorts of things including fellow Jackwagin’s quits. They are smart, worldly, courageous, addicts, funny as fuck, caring, and genuine.
I genuinely appreciate that banter, the texts, the emails, the PMs, the calls, the accountability, the brotherhood, and the humorÂ…especially the humor. They have made quitting a little easier. One day I hope to meet each and every one of them and shake their hands for helping me remain quit. No, itÂ’s more than that. A handshake isnÂ’t enough.
Proud to be a Jackwagin. Bro Fist (http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc6/s160x160/224564_384676858269908_391496679_a.jpg)
Proud to stand next to you as a brother in arms.
I was thinking something like this! (http://youtu.be/3bHcs3ae05g)
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Every day I am pissed that I ever started using dip. Every day I wish I had quit years ago. But, I canÂ’t change that so I am going to focus on the present and what I can do about it now. I feel very fortunate that I quit on 10/10/12. Not only for the obvious reasons like avoiding an early death, but for the reason that I became a Jackwagin. The first few days were a blur and I canÂ’t recall details, but shortly after the nic left my system I was able to see things clearly.
One of the first things I saw was the group name, “January Jackwagins”. I said to myself, “Self, what the fuck is a Jackwagin?” Can these guys not spell wagon? Was I missing something? I had a quit to obsess over so I let it go. While quitting it became obvious that this was a very special group of quitters. Every day it is obvious that these guys are passionate about all sorts of things including fellow Jackwagin’s quits. They are smart, worldly, courageous, addicts, funny as fuck, caring, and genuine.
I genuinely appreciate that banter, the texts, the emails, the PMs, the calls, the accountability, the brotherhood, and the humor…especially the humor. They have made quitting a little easier. One day I hope to meet each and every one of them and shake their hands for helping me remain quit. No, it’s more than that. A handshake isn’t enough.
Proud to be a Jackwagin. Bro Fist (http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc6/s160x160/224564_384676858269908_391496679_a.jpg)
Proud to stand next to you as a brother in arms.
I was thinking something like this! (http://youtu.be/3bHcs3ae05g)
I am not a jackwagin per say but I am Proud to be your friend. Thank you for stepping up yesterday. nuf said
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This was my response to some horse shit that was posted in our group, but I want it here, in my thread as a reminder of why I spend the first 1.5 hours of every day on this site.
I said I was going to respond properly when I had a chance and this has been the only thing on my mind tonight, but these badasses have said it all. If anyone wants to stop posting just stop posting, and tell Sportsfan and your group not to waste time on you every day. I think not posting daily is utter folly. Adding fuel to that fire is disrespectful to everyone that posts roll daily and everything this site stands for. Accountability. Brotherhood. Success. ODAAT. NAFAR. Maybe you (whoever is reading this - no one inparticular) are that special butterfly that can go rogue and be successful. IÂ’m not.
I still think about dip several times a day. Several times a day I tell myself that I posted roll today and the caving option has been taken off the table. I look at my phone every day and see the texts from vets checking on me, and the texts I've sent to those that have come after me. I think of the friendships I have formed here and know they will be gone if I cave. That will not happen today because I posted roll.
Posting roll is a fucking drag. The days seem to drag on. 168 days seems like a lifetime, but NO ONE can come here, in THIS group and tell me or any other regular poster that it’s ok to take a vacation from posting “just because”. That is a personal decision.
My core - you know who you are, I donÂ’t want my balls cupped and coddled like an ugly, dirty, stinky baby bird that fell from its nest. If I even wander a little bit I expect you Jackwagins to grab my sack and yank it hard, pulling me back here, with you all, where I need to be. If you have a moment of weakness or even a shitty passing thought, let me know and I will be there for you. That is a guarantee.
I'm proud as hell to be a Jackwagin.
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This was my response to some horse shit that was posted in our group, but I want it here, in my thread as a reminder of why I spend the first 1.5 hours of every day on this site.
I said I was going to respond properly when I had a chance and this has been the only thing on my mind tonight, but these badasses have said it all. If anyone wants to stop posting just stop posting, and tell Sportsfan and your group not to waste time on you every day. I think not posting daily is utter folly. Adding fuel to that fire is disrespectful to everyone that posts roll daily and everything this site stands for. Accountability. Brotherhood. Success. ODAAT. NAFAR. Maybe you (whoever is reading this - no one inparticular) are that special butterfly that can go rogue and be successful. IÂ’m not.
I still think about dip several times a day. Several times a day I tell myself that I posted roll today and the caving option has been taken off the table. I look at my phone every day and see the texts from vets checking on me, and the texts I've sent to those that have come after me. I think of the friendships I have formed here and know they will be gone if I cave. That will not happen today because I posted roll.
Posting roll is a fucking drag. The days seem to drag on. 168 days seems like a lifetime, but NO ONE can come here, in THIS group and tell me or any other regular poster that it’s ok to take a vacation from posting “just because”. That is a personal decision.
My core - you know who you are, I donÂ’t want my balls cupped and coddled like an ugly, dirty, stinky baby bird that fell from its nest. If I even wander a little bit I expect you Jackwagins to grab my sack and yank it hard, pulling me back here, with you all, where I need to be. If you have a moment of weakness or even a shitty passing thought, let me know and I will be there for you. That is a guarantee.
I'm proud as hell to be a Jackwagin.
Agreed, if I did not hit roll, I would be lost.
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Every day I am pissed that I ever started using dip. Every day I wish I had quit years ago. But, I canÂ’t change that so I am going to focus on the present and what I can do about it now. I feel very fortunate that I quit on 10/10/12. Not only for the obvious reasons like avoiding an early death, but for the reason that I became a Jackwagin. The first few days were a blur and I canÂ’t recall details, but shortly after the nic left my system I was able to see things clearly.
One of the first things I saw was the group name, “January Jackwagins”. I said to myself, “Self, what the fuck is a Jackwagin?” Can these guys not spell wagon? Was I missing something? I had a quit to obsess over so I let it go. While quitting it became obvious that this was a very special group of quitters. Every day it is obvious that these guys are passionate about all sorts of things including fellow Jackwagin’s quits. They are smart, worldly, courageous, addicts, funny as fuck, caring, and genuine.
I genuinely appreciate that banter, the texts, the emails, the PMs, the calls, the accountability, the brotherhood, and the humor…especially the humor. They have made quitting a little easier. One day I hope to meet each and every one of them and shake their hands for helping me remain quit. No, it’s more than that. A handshake isn’t enough.
Proud to be a Jackwagin. Bro Fist (http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc6/s160x160/224564_384676858269908_391496679_a.jpg)
Well said you hairy little man....Well Said. Now enough with the wispy bromance and back to some serious quittin!! Dont think I didnt notice the theft of the G.O.A.T. Reference for our little friend in IN. JH sees all!!! (insert scary laugh)...... 'tease'
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I went to my cousin’s place for Easter, way out in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. This was my first Easter in 16 years that I was quit. I knew that at least one of my in-laws would be dipping, and I was correct. One younger cousin’s husband had a dip in the entire time unless he was eating. He is a super nice guy and great dad to my cousin’s two or three kids. When the wind blew just right I caught a whiff and it smelled “pleasantly interesting”. I was not ready to bum a pinch and was not even thinking about what it would be like. Instead I felt bad for that whole family. I felt bad for my cousin for having to live with that gross habit. I felt bad for him knowing that he knew that he was a slave to the Bitch. But what I really felt bad for were the kids. Their father was a loser and bailed right after the second was born. That has to be tough on a kid. Now, this awesome new guy is in their lives and treats the kids as his own, but he won’t be there too long either. He won’t leave them all because of another woman; he’ll leave because he’ll be dead.
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I went to my cousin’s place for Easter, way out in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. This was my first Easter in 16 years that I was quit. I knew that at least one of my in-laws would be dipping, and I was correct. One younger cousin’s husband had a dip in the entire time unless he was eating. He is a super nice guy and great dad to my cousin’s two or three kids. When the wind blew just right I caught a whiff and it smelled “pleasantly interesting”. I was not ready to bum a pinch and was not even thinking about what it would be like. Instead I felt bad for that whole family. I felt bad for my cousin for having to live with that gross habit. I felt bad for him knowing that he knew that he was a slave to the Bitch. But what I really felt bad for were the kids. Their father was a loser and bailed right after the second was born. That has to be tough on a kid. Now, this awesome new guy is in their lives and treats the kids as his own, but he won’t be there too long either. He won’t leave them all because of another woman; he’ll leave because he’ll be dead.
Evil, well said! I never had any doubt about your amount of quit faith. You my friend are QLF! That is quit wood.
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I went to my cousin’s place for Easter, way out in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. This was my first Easter in 16 years that I was quit. I knew that at least one of my in-laws would be dipping, and I was correct. One younger cousin’s husband had a dip in the entire time unless he was eating. He is a super nice guy and great dad to my cousin’s two or three kids. When the wind blew just right I caught a whiff and it smelled “pleasantly interesting”. I was not ready to bum a pinch and was not even thinking about what it would be like. Instead I felt bad for that whole family. I felt bad for my cousin for having to live with that gross habit. I felt bad for him knowing that he knew that he was a slave to the Bitch. But what I really felt bad for were the kids. Their father was a loser and bailed right after the second was born. That has to be tough on a kid. Now, this awesome new guy is in their lives and treats the kids as his own, but he won’t be there too long either. He won’t leave them all because of another woman; he’ll leave because he’ll be dead.
I had a similar occurrence the other night.... night of Day 36. Go read about it under my Introduction.
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I went to my cousin’s place for Easter, way out in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. This was my first Easter in 16 years that I was quit. I knew that at least one of my in-laws would be dipping, and I was correct. One younger cousin’s husband had a dip in the entire time unless he was eating. He is a super nice guy and great dad to my cousin’s two or three kids. When the wind blew just right I caught a whiff and it smelled “pleasantly interesting”. I was not ready to bum a pinch and was not even thinking about what it would be like. Instead I felt bad for that whole family. I felt bad for my cousin for having to live with that gross habit. I felt bad for him knowing that he knew that he was a slave to the Bitch. But what I really felt bad for were the kids. Their father was a loser and bailed right after the second was born. That has to be tough on a kid. Now, this awesome new guy is in their lives and treats the kids as his own, but he won’t be there too long either. He won’t leave them all because of another woman; he’ll leave because he’ll be dead.
I had a similar occurrence the other night.... night of Day 36. Go read about it under my Introduction.
Begining to think differently now aren't you?
It is amazing the things we used to rationalize as being ok, that now we see as totally frickin unacceptable now.
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I went to my cousin’s place for Easter, way out in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. This was my first Easter in 16 years that I was quit. I knew that at least one of my in-laws would be dipping, and I was correct. One younger cousin’s husband had a dip in the entire time unless he was eating. He is a super nice guy and great dad to my cousin’s two or three kids. When the wind blew just right I caught a whiff and it smelled “pleasantly interesting”. I was not ready to bum a pinch and was not even thinking about what it would be like. Instead I felt bad for that whole family. I felt bad for my cousin for having to live with that gross habit. I felt bad for him knowing that he knew that he was a slave to the Bitch. But what I really felt bad for were the kids. Their father was a loser and bailed right after the second was born. That has to be tough on a kid. Now, this awesome new guy is in their lives and treats the kids as his own, but he won’t be there too long either. He won’t leave them all because of another woman; he’ll leave because he’ll be dead.
I had a similar occurrence the other night.... night of Day 36. Go read about it under my Introduction.
Begining to think differently now aren't you?
It is amazing the things we used to rationalize as being ok, that now we see as totally frickin unacceptable now.
Lucifer's Testicles might be "pleasantly interesting". Having to share Easter with a horseshoe of cancer is ...disgusting...pathetic....and sad. I can smell that shit from across the room now. I'm like Blade. I can even identify where their can is stashed. How we EVER thought it was even remotely not gross is beyond me. Great job evil. Proud to quit with you.
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I can even identify where their can is stashed.
Looking for their stash? I don't buy it. I think you are always staring at dudes' asses or looking for a bulge in the front. Knock it off, especially if it's family...that's just messed up.
BTW, had two testees of Beelzebub for breakfast this morning. Delicious with a light sprinkle of sea salt.
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I can even identify where their can is stashed.
Looking for their stash? I don't buy it. I think you are always staring at dudes' asses or looking for a bulge in the front. Knock it off, especially if it's family...that's just messed up.
BTW, had two testees of Beelzebub for breakfast this morning. Delicious with a light sprinkle of sea salt.
^ that's funny
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Planned Quits and Caving.
There is too much of this shit lately. Why is that? Dudes from one week to one year are posting up day ones. Dick bags are coming here posting intros of how they are going to quit tomorrow, or Friday, or after they trim their patch down to nothing. What the fuck? I have come to realize that the phrases “planned quit” and “cave” are the same. They both mean weak, conceited, inconsiderate, and douchey.
“Weaning works for me”. Bullshit. If it worked you’d be quit. You’re just feeding your brain the drug it craves by an alternate delivery vehicle. And I’ll bet that “weaners” are still dipping and/or smoking because the nic that the patch and/or gum delivers is not enough for their addicted brain. In the end, by weaning, they use more nic than before they started their so called quitting process. Yeah, good luck with that. But whatever you do don’t tell them that. Apparently the first step to weaning is to thoroughly rub a handful of sand into your vagina.
And all of the cavers that I’ve seen here in my 176 days of quit fall into two “blame categories”. Why did you fail? Because I stopped posting roll and got complacent. Ok. That sounds about right. We all know that posting roll is a serious pledge. If you don’t do it there is a chance you will fail. Period. Posting roll is your promise to yourself and us that you will not dip today. It’s sacred! If you post roll you have removed the cave option today. The KISS method (keep it simple, stupid) at its finest.
The other category is that the nic bitch got her gnarled claw into the door of your quit that was left ajar. She was able to sneak in and start doing what she does best: whisper her sweet, sweet lies like a retro porn actress in an anal gaping scene. She says you can handle one. You enjoy it, why deprive yourself of one of life’s pleasures? Life, work, and family have been tough, dip will help you relax. You’re with the guys this weekend and they dip, don’t be a douche and wreck the trip. Well, how was the romance with the nic bitch this time around? Had she changed since you last “stopped” using? After years of her lies is she now talking common sense or are you stuck on stupid?
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bout sums it up right here and applies to those who want to bitch and moan about being called out for screwing up roll too.
This should be a must for all new arrivals and retreads.
Enough w the BS and get to quitting or just stay home.
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Planned Quits and Caving.
There is too much of this shit lately. Why is that? Dudes from one week to one year are posting up day ones. Dick bags are coming here posting intros of how they are going to quit tomorrow, or Friday, or after they trim their patch down to nothing. What the fuck? I have come to realize that the phrases “planned quit” and “cave” are the same. They both mean weak, conceited, inconsiderate, and douchey.
“Weaning works for me”. Bullshit. If it worked you’d be quit. You’re just feeding your brain the drug it craves by an alternate delivery vehicle. And I’ll bet that “weaners” are still dipping and/or smoking because the nic that the patch and/or gum delivers is not enough for their addicted brain. In the end, by weaning, they use more nic than before they started their so called quitting process. Yeah, good luck with that. But whatever you do don’t tell them that. Apparently the first step to weaning is to thoroughly rub a handful of sand into your vagina.
And all of the cavers that I’ve seen here in my 176 days of quit fall into two “blame categories”. Why did you fail? Because I stopped posting roll and got complacent. Ok. That sounds about right. We all know that posting roll is a serious pledge. If you don’t do it there is a chance you will fail. Period. Posting roll is your promise to yourself and us that you will not dip today. It’s sacred! If you post roll you have removed the cave option today. The KISS method (keep it simple, stupid) at its finest.
The other category is that the nic bitch got her gnarled claw into the door of your quit that was left ajar. She was able to sneak in and start doing what she does best: whisper her sweet, sweet lies like a retro porn actress in an anal gaping scene. She says you can handle one. You enjoy it, why deprive yourself of one of life’s pleasures? Life, work, and family have been tough, dip will help you relax. You’re with the guys this weekend and they dip, don’t be a douche and wreck the trip. Well, how was the romance with the nic bitch this time around? Had she changed since you last “stopped” using? After years of her lies is she now talking common sense or are you stuck on stupid?
^^^^^^ you must be one hell of chef, if you decide to do something else, write. Quit with you today
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You have to quit for you. You have to be willing to fight every day for you. We can help, but once again, your quit has to be for you. If you donÂ’t care enough about it, why should I? If you post roll that is your promise to not use nicotine in any way shape or form for the next 24 hours. That promise is made to your group, everyone here at KTC, but first and foremost for you.
Is your word good enough to keep that promise? If you are unsure if you will be able to keep that promise, use the tools here. Build up that confidence it your quitting ability and then ask yourself if you are ready to post roll. If not yet, then read the site - just about everything in the Intros, HOF speeches, and user groups is solid ammunition in this fight. If you have numbers to other quitters use them. Call or text them to say what‘s going on, or what you are facing at that moment, and get help. All of the tools to succeed are here for you, and for free.
IÂ’ve given my number out pretty freely. If you have my number and think that your pride will prevent you from using it, or if you think youÂ’ll be too embarrassed to use in a moment of weakness, please delete it. Caving pisses me off. Cavers that have my number but didnÂ’t use it piss me off more.
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You have to quit for you. You have to be willing to fight every day for you. We can help, but once again, your quit has to be for you. If you donÂ’t care enough about it, why should I? If you post roll that is your promise to not use nicotine in any way shape or form for the next 24 hours. That promise is made to your group, everyone here at KTC, but first and foremost for you.
Is your word good enough to keep that promise? If you are unsure if you will be able to keep that promise, use the tools here. Build up that confidence it your quitting ability and then ask yourself if you are ready to post roll. If not yet, then read the site - just about everything in the Intros, HOF speeches, and user groups is solid ammunition in this fight. If you have numbers to other quitters use them. Call or text them to say what‘s going on, or what you are facing at that moment, and get help. All of the tools to succeed are here for you, and for free.
IÂ’ve given my number out pretty freely. If you have my number and think that your pride will prevent you from using it, or if you think youÂ’ll be too embarrassed to use in a moment of weakness, please delete it. Caving pisses me off. Cavers that have my number but didnÂ’t use it piss me off more.
You sir are an inspiration, this belongs in the words of wisdom.
-
You have to quit for you. You have to be willing to fight every day for you. We can help, but once again, your quit has to be for you. If you don’t care enough about it, why should I? If you post roll that is your promise to not use nicotine in any way shape or form for the next 24 hours. That promise is made to your group, everyone here at KTC, but first and foremost for you.
Is your word good enough to keep that promise? If you are unsure if you will be able to keep that promise, use the tools here. Build up that confidence it your quitting ability and then ask yourself if you are ready to post roll. If not yet, then read the site - just about everything in the Intros, HOF speeches, and user groups is solid ammunition in this fight. If you have numbers to other quitters use them. Call or text them to say what‘s going on, or what you are facing at that moment, and get help. All of the tools to succeed are here for you, and for free.
IÂ’ve given my number out pretty freely. If you have my number and think that your pride will prevent you from using it, or if you think youÂ’ll be too embarrassed to use in a moment of weakness, please delete it. Caving pisses me off. Cavers that have my number but didnÂ’t use it piss me off more.
You sir are an inspiration, this belongs in the words of wisdom.
x2 What he said ^^^^^^^^^^^^
-
You have to quit for you. You have to be willing to fight every day for you. We can help, but once again, your quit has to be for you. If you don’t care enough about it, why should I? If you post roll that is your promise to not use nicotine in any way shape or form for the next 24 hours. That promise is made to your group, everyone here at KTC, but first and foremost for you.
Is your word good enough to keep that promise? If you are unsure if you will be able to keep that promise, use the tools here. Build up that confidence it your quitting ability and then ask yourself if you are ready to post roll. If not yet, then read the site - just about everything in the Intros, HOF speeches, and user groups is solid ammunition in this fight. If you have numbers to other quitters use them. Call or text them to say what‘s going on, or what you are facing at that moment, and get help. All of the tools to succeed are here for you, and for free.
IÂ’ve given my number out pretty freely. If you have my number and think that your pride will prevent you from using it, or if you think youÂ’ll be too embarrassed to use in a moment of weakness, please delete it. Caving pisses me off. Cavers that have my number but didnÂ’t use it piss me off more.
You sir are an inspiration, this belongs in the words of wisdom.
x2 What he said ^^^^^^^^^^^^
x 3
It's just like with anything in life. Nothing will change unless you truly want it to and work hard enough to make that change happen.
-
You have to quit for you. You have to be willing to fight every day for you. We can help, but once again, your quit has to be for you. If you don’t care enough about it, why should I? If you post roll that is your promise to not use nicotine in any way shape or form for the next 24 hours. That promise is made to your group, everyone here at KTC, but first and foremost for you.
Is your word good enough to keep that promise? If you are unsure if you will be able to keep that promise, use the tools here. Build up that confidence it your quitting ability and then ask yourself if you are ready to post roll. If not yet, then read the site - just about everything in the Intros, HOF speeches, and user groups is solid ammunition in this fight. If you have numbers to other quitters use them. Call or text them to say what‘s going on, or what you are facing at that moment, and get help. All of the tools to succeed are here for you, and for free.
IÂ’ve given my number out pretty freely. If you have my number and think that your pride will prevent you from using it, or if you think youÂ’ll be too embarrassed to use in a moment of weakness, please delete it. Caving pisses me off. Cavers that have my number but didnÂ’t use it piss me off more.
You sir are an inspiration, this belongs in the words of wisdom.
x2 What he said ^^^^^^^^^^^^
x 3
It's just like with anything in life. Nothing will change unless you truly want it to and work hard enough to make that change happen.
X4. Evil, you are one of the most dynamic and articulate nicotine haters on this site. Keep up the great hate!
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? IÂ’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? IÂ’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
When I grow up
I wanna be like Ready
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
When I grow up
I wanna be like Ready
Damn, Ready, I don't know if Bruce saying that is exactly a good thing. I'd be worried.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
When I grow up
I wanna be like Ready
Damn, Ready, I don't know if Bruce saying that is exactly a good thing. I'd be worried.
Evil, everybody on this damn site knows you are a fucking rock. Rocks don't dip. You've helped me become one. And you are one dude I will call or text when my big funk finally comes. I know it's out there, and I know you'll answer when I call. You know you own this quit.
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
When I grow up
I wanna be like Ready
Damn, Ready, I don't know if Bruce saying that is exactly a good thing. I'd be worried.
Evil, everybody on this damn site knows you are a fucking rock. Rocks don't dip. You've helped me become one. And you are one dude I will call or text when my big funk finally comes. I know it's out there, and I know you'll answer when I call. You know you own this quit.
you'll wake and have that feeling something just isn't right. All day just a bit off. here and there things that annoy the shit out of you. People saying your in a bad mood but then you see some guy in the store that looks like the king of grouches.. Your thinking to yourself what the F? Normalcy is craved like a mother, but your brain is churning out inconsistent thoughts. Early on I thought when the elders would speak (sigh) about the funks they were talking about dip thoughts. The funks (we all get them) to me are easy to spot now. Like a hurricane coming I will batten down the hatches, and ride out the storm. Sometimes they're only a passing inconvenience, and sometimes a 2 week hurricane. When the big ones come you rely on your neighbors. Helping each other until it passes. Thing is no matter how big the storm, it will always go away...peace
-
Day 185 - Last night after work Lady Evil pointed out I was in a foul mood. Asked if I had a bad day I replied with “of course”, or “why would today be any different?”, or “no, why?” I don’t remember which I said but that is part of the problem; I didn’t know I was in a mood until it was pointed out. Downton Evil was not a happy place last night, and I, Lord Evil, made many a life miserable.
In Chat last night SirDerek offered his diagnosisÂ…a funk. SirD is exactly 100 days more quit than me. Far enough ahead that I trust his wisdom and close enough that he remembers details. He suggested asking a fellow JackwaginÂ’ how they were at this time.
So this morning I remembered that Jbradley, not long ago, was in a bit of a funk. I shot out a text asking what day that was. Sure enough it was in the 180s. What kind of magical drug is nicotine that it holds on to us not only so deeply, but also comes back to make our lives pure hell, again and again, with such timely precision? He gave me some tips, some encouragement, and a few threats. I posted roll today and my word is GOLD for today. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
So, it is confirmed, I’m in the midst of a “fuck it”, a glorious varietal of a funk.
'help'
Here for you anytime bro. You did the right thing and reached out, this is just one of the tools you were given 185 days ago. Never be afraid to ask for help, nobody will judge you, nobody will call you names (maybe they will but that is how we show we care), anybody that you talk to will be there to fight with you. How do I know? I was there, you are there now. I will stand and fight with you today. The good news is that it will not last as long as the others, and when you are through this one you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for not bowing to the bitch.
Call me anytime bro, I am here for you.
Hey, I am usually the last to know, and it was only because it was pointed out to me for hitting that low point, being in that funk.
I've started to open my mouth (busying my fingers) when doing the roll when I hit those times as just the words of support from others helps me fight through it.
And as Jbrad says and I have heard from others, it does subside rather quickly and the longer we keep putting up those +1 , the less and less low these funks become and the further apart they get.
On the flip side look how good things are when we are in between them, feels like I would shout "I'm on top of the world"
Proud to be a brother there Evil, and lets keep kicking this thing.
quit gold -
some get in a funk and hibernate - then they pop their heads up to see if they cast a shadow -
would anyone miss them ??? Maybe they'll whine and pout a little or just skip posting roll ..
one day turns into another and into another soon apathy sets in and they don't care cause no one missed them and accountability is a moot point
I say some ... yeah the weak ... but.....
THAT AINT HOW YOU ROLL
I too hit a funk right around that time also, evil. It sucked big time. But talking to your brothers/sisters on here, coming into chat, and posting roll is a sure fire way to 100% come out the other side as a winner and still be able to say that you're quit.
As you remain quit the craves/nic bitch become easier and easier to just toss to the side and go about on your day. Sometimes they're not like the one I went through on Sunday. But I wrote about it in my intro texted some people and a few hours later it was gone and even though I really wanted to go buy a tin, I didn't and can say that I remained dip free.
Way to use the site correctly and call for help when its necessary. I'm here for you in ever need anything. Here's to you, being a badass quitter who won't let anything get him down.
Keep doing what you're doing.
It gets better.
Way better.
When I grow up
I wanna be like Ready
Damn, Ready, I don't know if Bruce saying that is exactly a good thing. I'd be worried.
Evil, everybody on this damn site knows you are a fucking rock. Rocks don't dip. You've helped me become one. And you are one dude I will call or text when my big funk finally comes. I know it's out there, and I know you'll answer when I call. You know you own this quit.
you'll wake and have that feeling something just isn't right. All day just a bit off. here and there things that annoy the shit out of you. People saying your in a bad mood but then you see some guy in the store that looks like the king of grouches.. Your thinking to yourself what the F? Normalcy is craved like a mother, but your brain is churning out inconsistent thoughts. Early on I thought when the elders would speak (sigh) about the funks they were talking about dip thoughts. The funks (we all get them) to me are easy to spot now. Like a hurricane coming I will batten down the hatches, and ride out the storm. Sometimes they're only a passing inconvenience, and sometimes a 2 week hurricane. When the big ones come you rely on your neighbors. Helping each other until it passes. Thing is no matter how big the storm, it will always go away...peace
Quit on Evil!!!
Everyday is a brick in your QUIT house!!! 'bang head'
-
Addiction, by definition, is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors. I continued the use of nicotine for 16 years, and knew better than to continue, but I was neurologically unable to stop at that time. Seems that if I am now able to stop the use I would cease to be addicted, or an addict. I, however, struggle to remain quit. Did you notice I didnÂ’t say I was no longer an addict?
Struggle, by definition, is a forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or constriction. Every day is a struggle to remain quit. Some days the struggle is more violent, literally, while others are quiet struggle that is fought quietly in the brain, albeit just as violent only internalized. IÂ’m not sure which is worse.
The struggle, or daily fight, to remain a “non-active” addict is a tiring one. I only wish I knew back then what I know now. But, I can’t go back in time and undo that first dip, so I must fight on, every day, in this never-ending struggle to beat addiction.
-
Addiction, by definition, is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors. I continued the use of nicotine for 16 years, and knew better than to continue, but I was neurologically unable to stop at that time. Seems that if I am now able to stop the use I would cease to be addicted, or an addict. I, however, struggle to remain quit. Did you notice I didnÂ’t say I was no longer an addict?
Struggle, by definition, is a forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or constriction. Every day is a struggle to remain quit. Some days the struggle is more violent, literally, while others are quiet struggle that is fought quietly in the brain, albeit just as violent only internalized. IÂ’m not sure which is worse.
The struggle, or daily fight, to remain a “non-active” addict is a tiring one. I only wish I knew back then what I know now. But, I can’t go back in time and undo that first dip, so I must fight on, every day, in this never-ending struggle to beat addiction.
I will stand and fight with you today. You are not alone in this battle, use your tools, you and I can continue to fight today.
Just one addict to another.
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I havenÂ’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passengerÂ’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I donÂ’t have ALS, so thatÂ’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. ItÂ’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. ItÂ’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I havenÂ’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passengerÂ’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I donÂ’t have ALS, so thatÂ’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. ItÂ’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. ItÂ’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
you have my IOU anytime you're remotely close to Plano - oh and that's a mighty big bag for Atomics there .... true story
We quit for ourselves... and I'll stand by you any day
Royally sucks wifey isn't on board with the quit. think that name might piss her off ????? tough
Honored to be quit you and to wear that autograph on my racing t-shirt brother!!!
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
you have my IOU anytime you're remotely close to Plano - oh and that's a mighty big bag for Atomics there .... true story
We quit for ourselves... and I'll stand by you any day
Royally sucks wifey isn't on board with the quit. think that name might piss her off ????? tough
Honored to be quit you and to wear that autograph on my racing t-shirt brother!!!
Even if you have all the support at home, it isn't the same as KTC. You gotta live this addiction to understand the quit. QLF.
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
you have my IOU anytime you're remotely close to Plano - oh and that's a mighty big bag for Atomics there .... true story
We quit for ourselves... and I'll stand by you any day
Royally sucks wifey isn't on board with the quit. think that name might piss her off ????? tough
Honored to be quit you and to wear that autograph on my racing t-shirt brother!!!
Even if you have all the support at home, it isn't the same as KTC. You gotta live this addiction to understand the quit. QLF.
Evil, I'm not sure I've ever seen vulnerability in you, but that was it. It was captivating. It was at the essence of a lot of our quits. We saw a 200 day reflection wrought with the many faces and facets of the Evil_Won we all know and love showing one of the major caveats of quitting: vulnerability. I appreciate that very much. I show my own vulnerability all the time and I'm very comfortable in doing so. It actually helps me stay quit. I appreciate seeing it in others, especially the guys I have come to respect who have helped me quit. Thanks for the 200 update, brother.
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
you have my IOU anytime you're remotely close to Plano - oh and that's a mighty big bag for Atomics there .... true story
We quit for ourselves... and I'll stand by you any day
Royally sucks wifey isn't on board with the quit. think that name might piss her off ????? tough
Honored to be quit you and to wear that autograph on my racing t-shirt brother!!!
Even if you have all the support at home, it isn't the same as KTC. You gotta live this addiction to understand the quit. QLF.
Evil, I'm not sure I've ever seen vulnerability in you, but that was it. It was captivating. It was at the essence of a lot of our quits. We saw a 200 day reflection wrought with the many faces and facets of the Evil_Won we all know and love showing one of the major caveats of quitting: vulnerability. I appreciate that very much. I show my own vulnerability all the time and I'm very comfortable in doing so. It actually helps me stay quit. I appreciate seeing it in others, especially the guys I have come to respect who have helped me quit. Thanks for the 200 update, brother.
She may not care that you are quit, Evil, but she sure as hell would care if you lost half your face. You always make my quit stronger....proud of you and 200!
-
Second Verse Same As The First
Day 200 is similar to Day 100, but different in some ways. I’ve made lots of new friends and some of the old ones are even closer. I continue to have rough spots, but now in many forms aside from the standard “crave”. The “fuck-its” are the worst as I don’t quickly recognize it as the nic bitch’s fancy footwork. Maybe I’m just plain crazy - that’s always a strong possibility.
I have now been to the dentist twice since Day 100 and it feels great to tell the Doctor that I am indeed still quit. It’s even better to hear that my gums look normal compared to “pre-cancerous” or maybe even full blown cancerous as they were 200 days ago.
I haven’t had a seed or toothpick in about two weeks, but still drive with a 8# bag of Atomic Fire Balls on the passenger’s seat just in case (ask cbird to verify). I am also off all prescription pills, pain and otherwise, despite chronic pain from spinal damage. Hey, I don’t have ALS, so that’s good. They tested me for that too. I am very far from perfect.
IÂ’ve met a few quitters in person too. Some Jackwagins, some vets, and some noobs. Length of time being quit doesnÂ’t matter, only the fact that they are quit matters. I like meeting quitters. It makes me feel like IÂ’m adding a little more substance to the foundation I am balancing on.
My wife still doesn’t quite get it. I honestly don’t think she gives a fuck if I am quit or not. If I went back to ninja dipping she would never know, and she never asks if I am still quit. I don’t think she cares. I know she is of no support which makes this site and members all the more important. She still refers to you all as my “snuff buddies”, which pisses me off. I say you are quitters or friends. When she questions how I could give our address to a stranger, without knowing his “real name”, I say it doesn’t matter. He is quit, he posted roll today, and that is good enough for me.
I know that IÂ’m still an addict and need to post every day to remind myself that I am an addict. ItÂ’s funny, giving my word never meant shit before. Now, to you all, it is good as gold and that will not change. I donÂ’t want to post some days, but I have, and will continue to do so. I will also look out for those dear to me. I will continue to text you if you donÂ’t post before I do. Sometimes I will text you even when you do post and IÂ’m too scattered to find it. Sorry in advance. I mean well.
I still live in Chat, but have cut back to 6 nights a week, and not at all during the day unless there is a quitter emergency notification via text. I enjoy the talks in there as much for their humor as I do for its ability to strengthen my resolve to not dip today. It’s nice to see some of the older guys drop in that were regulars 200 days ago, but have since lessened their presence. It’s also nice to see fully foggy newbies in there night after night, fighting for their lives like I did.
200 days dip and nic free. ThatÂ’s all I am. Quitting dip has not made me a better person, better dad, a better husband, or a better listener. I still battle depression (some would say). I still have uncontrollable rage and zero filtering ability. Fuck all that anyway. IÂ’m quit today and thatÂ’s what matters to me.
Thank you as always to those who help me every day. You know who you are. Congrats to Rothstiein57 (100), sirD (300) and Kubrick (400).
Great work Evil_One, Congrats on 200.
Great post here man. Very similar deal with my wife. No interest in my quit and in what this means to me. Its not her fault though, she just doesnt understand addiction And hey, I guess that is a good thing.
I think I will follow you up to the 2nd floor, see you in about 83 days.
Awesome job, now go sign up for 300! Proud to be quit with you today!
The lack of support at home makes this site all the more valuable to our quits... And our lives! You're pretty great, Evil! We are always here for you. Be proud even if those physically around you could care less and don't understand. We care. We understand.
Proud to be quit with you :wub:
you have my IOU anytime you're remotely close to Plano - oh and that's a mighty big bag for Atomics there .... true story
We quit for ourselves... and I'll stand by you any day
Royally sucks wifey isn't on board with the quit. think that name might piss her off ????? tough
Honored to be quit you and to wear that autograph on my racing t-shirt brother!!!
Even if you have all the support at home, it isn't the same as KTC. You gotta live this addiction to understand the quit. QLF.
Evil, I'm not sure I've ever seen vulnerability in you, but that was it. It was captivating. It was at the essence of a lot of our quits. We saw a 200 day reflection wrought with the many faces and facets of the Evil_Won we all know and love showing one of the major caveats of quitting: vulnerability. I appreciate that very much. I show my own vulnerability all the time and I'm very comfortable in doing so. It actually helps me stay quit. I appreciate seeing it in others, especially the guys I have come to respect who have helped me quit. Thanks for the 200 update, brother.
She may not care that you are quit, Evil, but she sure as hell would care if you lost half your face. You always make my quit stronger....proud of you and 200!
Way to go you Evil Bastard. QLF with you
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within armÂ’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
-
Thanks for posting that Evil. I will bare that in mind. Tks for the inside for us guys young in the quit. Glad to be quit with you.
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within armÂ’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
The student (at one time) has learned and becomes the teacher (if those who recently join will read this).
Well done with the analysis and the use of the tools that have been learned here on KTC. It is this process that keeps the nic-bitch at bay, and away from those that truely want the quit to stick.
'clap'
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within arm’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
The student (at one time) has learned and becomes the teacher (if those who recently join will read this).
Well done with the analysis and the use of the tools that have been learned here on KTC. It is this process that keeps the nic-bitch at bay, and away from those that truely want the quit to stick.
'clap'
Just another example of a free man refusing to put the shackles of nicotine on himself !!!
Say it with me now E V E R Y D A M N D A Y !!
-
That is awesome Evil, you my friend sport quit wood. Someday I too will sport as much quit wood as you. (non Ghey)
Glad to be quit with you!!!!!!!
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within armÂ’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
Wise words you sexy bitch!! This relates to the story I told of the first time on the road for sales meetings after I had quit. (Refer to my Intro). Newbies, LISTEN UP!!!! Day 2, 20 or 200!!! You are still an addict!!! Be prepared!
I am proud to be one of those 56 bad ass quitters in your phone!!
Quit with you everyday!
J
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within arm’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
Wise words you sexy bitch!! This relates to the story I told of the first time on the road for sales meetings after I had quit. (Refer to my Intro). Newbies, LISTEN UP!!!! Day 2, 20 or 200!!! You are still an addict!!! Be prepared!
I am proud to be one of those 56 bad ass quitters in your phone!!
Quit with you everyday!
J
I love this story. This is how you protect a quit. Well done.
Post your promise.
Stay vigilant.
Protect your quit.
Refuse to cave.
-
Post early and keep your word all day
The above words have been spewed many times throughout these boards. For years, I spent hours each day in my car driving from store to store for work. Every second in the car was spent with a dip. When I quit I knew that driving would be my biggest challenge so I completely changed my work situation and hid in my office all day. I would post when I got to work (a five minute drive from home) and did keep my word all day long.
This week, today in particular, I had to be out the door early and spent more time in the car than usual. The thought of having a dip sounded appealing, as it still does most every day, even 218 days later. Usually I tell myself, “Sorry, you posted roll. That is not an option today. I am a man of my word.”
Today I repeated my daily mantra, however, half way through I realized I hadnÂ’t posted yet. I left early. Having a dip sounded good and my word hadnÂ’t been given. I had an out and my word would still be golden.
Panic. Was this the planned cave that I heard of? Was it the BitchÂ’s handy work?
Thankfully I looked around my car and found all of my tools that I learned to keep within arm’s reach. A box of toothpicks. An unopened can of fake (Oregon Mint Stuff pouches) bought around day 30 and stashed in my car for such an occasion. Gum. A bag of Atomic Fireballs. And my phone with the numbers for 56 different badass quitters.
All is well, but there is a lot of wisdom in “posting early”. Lesson learned.
Wise words you sexy bitch!! This relates to the story I told of the first time on the road for sales meetings after I had quit. (Refer to my Intro). Newbies, LISTEN UP!!!! Day 2, 20 or 200!!! You are still an addict!!! Be prepared!
I am proud to be one of those 56 bad ass quitters in your phone!!
Quit with you everyday!
J
I love this story. This is how you protect a quit. Well done.
Post your promise.
Stay vigilant.
Protect your quit.
Refuse to cave.
And stay ghey
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
absolutely...
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
Perfectly said, and a great read....QLF today
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
Perfectly said, and a great read....QLF today
ODAAT and NAFAR Men!!! 'bang head'
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
Perfectly said, and a great read....QLF today
ODAAT and NAFAR Men!!! 'bang head'
**bump**
this needs to be read by everyone.
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
Perfectly said, and a great read....QLF today
ODAAT and NAFAR Men!!! 'bang head'
**bump**
this needs to be read by everyone.
G'damn evil that's a good read
-
You said that you didnÂ’t want PMs, yet you sent me one. Again, IÂ’ll take it public. You said:
Dont try to act like youre superior over me. I didn't lie to my family and hide in my basement like a coward just to have a dip. You put the same shit in your mouth that I did. At least I was always honest about it.
First, when it comes to quitting, which this is the only thing that this is about, I am superior.
Yes, I was a ninja for 16 years. I didn’t lie to anybody about that unless you are using “chick logic” and think that lying by omission is “lying”. It’s not. Never once did she ask I was dipping. Never once was I caught dipping. Never once was there a suspicion that I dipped. Never once was a can found. Never once did I lie. Yes, I put the same shit in my face that you did, but that is all that we have in common.
Now, why am I superior to you? I knew for years that I was an addict and was too weak to quit and too scared to face life without my false crutch. It took a cancer scare to give me enough courage to seek help. That scare was enough to cause my balls to enlarge just enough to say, “I’m done”. Saying, “I’m done” and seeking help led me to KTC. This site, its philosophy, and these fellow addicts taught me how to quit for today.
LOOT taught me, through other quitter’s cave and return to posting roll, that you can never forget that you are an addict. As soon as you forget that you are an addict you are destined to fail. LOOT also says that you can never forget day one. Each day, as I post roll with the Mighty Wagins’ I say aloud, “I am an addict. I remember day one. I will not use nicotine and any way, shape, or form today.” You also do not forget day 1, but for some stupid fucking reason you have said that you will buy a can of dip every hundred days to “test your quit”. If (you logic here) you pass your stupid test you will post day one again and start over (even though you tried to return and post a day 142 saying “you didn’t care what we say you are still quit 142 days). You don’t get it. You have learned nothing. You stopped posting after you hit 100, then at some point bought a can to test yourself, and had 4-5 dips before declaring yourself passed and you quit was still intact.
cmark taught me that “just one” is not an option. You never know which one is the one that will cause the cancer that can’t be reversed by stopping. Cmark had me read the story of Tom Kern and Randy. He had me re-read these. He had every newbie that wandered into chat read these, and each time he points a newbie to them I read them again. “Never again for any reason”. You feel that you are invincible and can tempt fate not just once, but 4-5 times after each one hundred days. Again, not only am I superior to you but a hell of a lot smarter.
Aglawyer taught me, by example, that no matter what life throws at you, dip wonÂ’t help it. A problem plus dip equals two problems. This is just so badass it belongs here. IÂ’m sure that you have also defiled this KTC quitter commandment.
Sportsfan231 taught me to “Stick around and become a friend”. I listened and I have over sixty contacts in my phone of quitters that I can call in a moment of crisis.. I can also contact any of these for no other reason other than because they are my friends. I know about their lives, their jobs, the families, their nicotine past, and their quit. You? I don’t know if you have any friends here. I doubt it. You had about 100 posts when you came back with your horseshit HOF speech and begged for confrontation. Even if you posted 100% of the time you didn’t contribute much and certainly didn’t pay it forward (thankfully).
I can go on and on with specific things that I have learned from reading this site, believing in its philosophy, or specifics from badass quitters, but I wonÂ’t. I have wasted enough time on your sorry ass. Please, go elsewhere, www.quitsmokeless.org (http://www.quitsmokeless.org) has been suggested. If thatÂ’s not good then start your own support group where you and your inferior cohorts can continue to tempt fate every few days and consider yourselves as quit as you can dream of. Again, feel free to FUCK OFF AND DIE.
-
You said that you didnÂ’t want PMs, yet you sent me one. Again, IÂ’ll take it public. You said:
Dont try to act like youre superior over me. I didn't lie to my family and hide in my basement like a coward just to have a dip. You put the same shit in your mouth that I did. At least I was always honest about it.
First, when it comes to quitting, which this is the only thing that this is about, I am superior.
Yes, I was a ninja for 16 years. I didn’t lie to anybody about that unless you are using “chick logic” and think that lying by omission is “lying”. It’s not. Never once did she ask I was dipping. Never once was I caught dipping. Never once was there a suspicion that I dipped. Never once was a can found. Never once did I lie. Yes, I put the same shit in my face that you did, but that is all that we have in common.
Now, why am I superior to you? I knew for years that I was an addict and was too weak to quit and too scared to face life without my false crutch. It took a cancer scare to give me enough courage to seek help. That scare was enough to cause my balls to enlarge just enough to say, “I’m done”. Saying, “I’m done” and seeking help led me to KTC. This site, its philosophy, and these fellow addicts taught me how to quit for today.
LOOT taught me, through other quitter’s cave and return to posting roll, that you can never forget that you are an addict. As soon as you forget that you are an addict you are destined to fail. LOOT also says that you can never forget day one. Each day, as I post roll with the Mighty Wagins’ I say aloud, “I am an addict. I remember day one. I will not use nicotine and any way, shape, or form today.” You also do not forget day 1, but for some stupid fucking reason you have said that you will buy a can of dip every hundred days to “test your quit”. If (you logic here) you pass your stupid test you will post day one again and start over (even though you tried to return and post a day 142 saying “you didn’t care what we say you are still quit 142 days). You don’t get it. You have learned nothing. You stopped posting after you hit 100, then at some point bought a can to test yourself, and had 4-5 dips before declaring yourself passed and you quit was still intact.
cmark taught me that “just one” is not an option. You never know which one is the one that will cause the cancer that can’t be reversed by stopping. Cmark had me read the story of Tom Kern and Randy. He had me re-read these. He had every newbie that wandered into chat read these, and each time he points a newbie to them I read them again. “Never again for any reason”. You feel that you are invincible and can tempt fate not just once, but 4-5 times after each one hundred days. Again, not only am I superior to you but a hell of a lot smarter.
Aglawyer taught me, by example, that no matter what life throws at you, dip wonÂ’t help it. A problem plus dip equals two problems. This is just so badass it belongs here. IÂ’m sure that you have also defiled this KTC quitter commandment.
Sportsfan231 taught me to “Stick around and become a friend”. I listened and I have over sixty contacts in my phone of quitters that I can call in a moment of crisis.. I can also contact any of these for no other reason other than because they are my friends. I know about their lives, their jobs, the families, their nicotine past, and their quit. You? I don’t know if you have any friends here. I doubt it. You had about 100 posts when you came back with your horseshit HOF speech and begged for confrontation. Even if you posted 100% of the time you didn’t contribute much and certainly didn’t pay it forward (thankfully).
I can go on and on with specific things that I have learned from reading this site, believing in its philosophy, or specifics from badass quitters, but I wonÂ’t. I have wasted enough time on your sorry ass. Please, go elsewhere, www.quitsmokeless.org (http://www.quitsmokeless.org) has been suggested. If thatÂ’s not good then start your own support group where you and your inferior cohorts can continue to tempt fate every few days and consider yourselves as quit as you can dream of. Again, feel free to FUCK OFF AND DIE.
Truth. Awesome.
-
Scott
After the youngins and Mrs. Evil were in bed I went to the local watering hole, a fairly regular occurrence for Evil these days. Right away I realize something is off. Instead of the handful of ne’er do well regulars, the place is half full and a live band is playing. Not bad music actually. The proprietor, Carole, says she is hosting a “fundraiser” for Scott and I can make a donation or not. No pressure.
It turns out that Scott is unemployed after a career in who knows what. On top of unemployment he is battling throat cancer. Now, I previously confessed to Carole that I used to dip and coming there was an insurance policy against me sitting at home, after the family was sleep, and dipping for hours ninja fashion. I asked if he was a smoker and of course the answer was yes. Additionally Carole told me that he dipped for as long as she knew him, gesturing with her hand since he was little. She then gave me an odd look, a half smirk, and dropped a pint in front of me “on the house”.
Now, I am as anti-social as they make them. I found a spot at the end of the bar, between two TVs and did what I do bestÂ…observe. Nice turn out for Scott. Lots of family and friends. Scott was dancing with the ladies as best as a cancer patient can, decked out in jeans and a white button-up shirt that looked like it was covering bones, but he mostly likely filled out last year. A blue bandana with white stars was upon his head and he tapped his foot to the beat of the country music that band played. ItÂ’s difficult to tell if the wear and tear on his body was from working in the trades for years or his chemo treatment.
An older woman that everyone approached, coming in and going out, sat by herself sipping a coke. I think this was ScottÂ’s mother. What was going through her mind? I can hardly think of something worse that the death of your child, but perhaps watching a slow and painful death may be. There was a very attractive young girl there that I learned was ScottÂ’s daughter. She was sixteen but looked much older. Many other young girls, her friends, were there to support her, and I couldnÂ’t help but notice that she was sneaking sips of alcohol, any alcohol, whenever she could from unattended drinks. Was she enjoying the party or self-medicating the feelings she has been having for months.
At midnight the band stopped and the juke box took over. I heard “Friends in Low Places” far too many fucking times after that. One by one, the guests made their way over to Scott to say goodnight and Lord knows what else. While talking to Scott these friends and family put on acts worthy of Academy awards. Lots of laugher and smiles. Plenty of hugs, handshakes, bro fists, and love. However, the moment they turned and couldn’t see Scott’s eyes they changed.
There was no more laughter. There was no more joy in their eyes. Their eyes were holding back tears and I could see, from the other end of the bar, the giant exhale, the huge sigh signaling “Jesus, I love that guy”. Or maybe it was “Poor fuck”. Maybe it was “I feel terrible for his mother and daughter”. I really can't begin to comprehend the vast range of emotions that flowed through that dive bar tonight. I even saw Scott's expression change when he tuned. The look of terror and dispair overtook the facade of bravery. "I'm great. Everything is looking good" was all bull shit.
Whatever the reason, these friends showed anguish, and I felt better knowing that I am no longer using dip. Yep, I did it for many fucking years, but hopefully I will never put my daughters, wife, and mother thought what this family is going through.
ItÂ’s good to be quit today.
Wow, Evil....you have a way with words and I felt like I was actually in that bar with you. I am so glad to be quit with you.
Well put E1. It is amazing how much we allowed tabacco and the nic bitch to become our number one priority. Some of it is the whole, "It wont happen to me" mentality. Some of it is just the fact that our addiction pushes us to the point where we are worried that someone will try and separate us from our "Precious."
Now being Quit, I see how selfish I was. Why in the hell would I put a can of poison ahead of my Family and Friends place in my life. All of whom would experience a tremendous amout of pain if I were to get sick from using tobacco. We all have lost people close to us so we should all know the feelings of loss and pain associated with it. Now add in the fact that in this guys case, it is self inflicted!! I am sure some of his family is pissed because he was being selfish for not thinking of anyone else while he fed his addiction. Others may be feeling guilty because they did not step up and say something to him about his addiction and allowed him to kill himself slowly. Either way, he is causing a lot of pain for everyone and essentially commiting suicide in front of everyone that cares about him.
211 days quit brings a whole new level of awareness and wisedom when it comes to these things. It also gives us perspective because any one of us could have been Scott.
Thanks for making my quit stronger today!
J
Another reminder of why I am here.
Perfectly said, and a great read....QLF today
ODAAT and NAFAR Men!!! 'bang head'
**bump**
this needs to be read by everyone.
G'damn evil that's a good read
Outstanding Evil! This needs to go on the words of wisdom page for sure.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.
That's exactly what the dreams do to me. Wake up abruptly with heart pounding, soaking wet, systems on full tilt panic mode. Sucks..... bad. Don't have them very often, but I hope the never go away. They make me very aware of just how tricky our opponent is.
Rock on, Evil..... +1.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.
That's exactly what the dreams do to me. Wake up abruptly with heart pounding, soaking wet, systems on full tilt panic mode. Sucks..... bad. Don't have them very often, but I hope the never go away. They make me very aware of just how tricky our opponent is.
Rock on, Evil..... +1.
Good Job Evil!!
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.
That's exactly what the dreams do to me. Wake up abruptly with heart pounding, soaking wet, systems on full tilt panic mode. Sucks..... bad. Don't have them very often, but I hope the never go away. They make me very aware of just how tricky our opponent is.
Rock on, Evil..... +1.
Good Job Evil!!
I just had my first couple of dip dreams last week. My first one was exactly like you describe yours: fading into it feeling happy first and slowly realizing that I was happy because I was dipping a huge fat mouth of nasty poison! At that point the shame and guilt hit me and I woke up knowing I was dreaming but swearing I had a poison turd in my lip... Really shook me, but wow I do not ever want to feel that for real and so it makes my quit stronger. Quit on.
-
Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.
I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up. I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.
I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.
I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.
You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.
You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.
That's exactly what the dreams do to me. Wake up abruptly with heart pounding, soaking wet, systems on full tilt panic mode. Sucks..... bad. Don't have them very often, but I hope the never go away. They make me very aware of just how tricky our opponent is.
Rock on, Evil..... +1.
Good Job Evil!!
I just had my first couple of dip dreams last week. My first one was exactly like you describe yours: fading into it feeling happy first and slowly realizing that I was happy because I was dipping a huge fat mouth of nasty poison! At that point the shame and guilt hit me and I woke up knowing I was dreaming but swearing I had a poison turd in my lip... Really shook me, but wow I do not ever want to feel that for real and so it makes my quit stronger. Quit on.
Congrats, Evil, on the 300, true bad ass. Consider yourself lucky, I get to have one of those awesome guilt filled dreams at least a couple times a week. They blow! But now, I can wake up and laugh, and still own it.
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Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.
The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.
The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.
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Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.
The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.
The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.
i will second that freedom feels so good
-
Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.
The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.
The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.
i will second that freedom feels so good
Needing and wanting are two very different things. In this scenario need trumps want on the survival scale.
You may need to quit, but if you don't want to quit you won't.
I fully agree with Evil's statement.
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Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.
The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.
The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.
Awesome insight, thanks for sharing! Yes knowing is one thing, but when knowing turns to ready, that's a pretty powerful feeling.
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Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.
The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.
The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.
i will second that freedom feels so good
Needing and wanting are two very different things. In this scenario need trumps want on the survival scale.
You may need to quit, but if you don't want to quit you won't.
I fully agree with Evil's statement.
You are a bada$$ quitter Evil. That says it all. I "knew" I needed to quit for years. Was not "ready" until 23 June 2013. You were the first post on my thread and you fixed my day 1 roll post which I screwed up. I was thinking of that this morning when I somehow butchered roll on the Sept 2013 thread and needed to submit a trouble ticket to have someone clean up my mess. Proud to be quit with you today!
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A year ago today you were a pussy now you are a badass. Congrats brother!!
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The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that IÂ’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like IÂ’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
-
The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
Thank YOU, Evil! You've been a huge help to me and countless others. Congrats on one year!
'clap'
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Congratulations evil, that's a hell of an accomplishment. You reached out to me on my first day here and every day since and I appreciate it.
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The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that IÂ’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like IÂ’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'
-
The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'
Great accomplishment evil. Thanks for every word you have spoken at ktc. Your one of the reasons my quit was and is even possible!!
-
The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
Way to represent the January 13 Jackwagins Evil...and definitely Congratulations on your accomplishment. Enjoy it, celebrate it...I'll be quit with you all dam day during it too!
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'wave' 'wave' 'wave'
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Happy First Birthday!! 365--man, that's an accomplishment and strong no matter how you slice it! Congrats!!
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Congrats, and thanks for all you do here.
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The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'
Great accomplishment evil. Thanks for every word you have spoken at ktc. Your one of the reasons my quit was and is even possible!!
Evil, you are one of the giants here. I appreciate all that you have done for me and my group. You are an inspiration. Congratulations. I am proud to quit with you.
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Way to go evil! Proud to be quit with you man!
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The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'
Great accomplishment evil. Thanks for every word you have spoken at ktc. Your one of the reasons my quit was and is even possible!!
Evil, you are one of the giants here. I appreciate all that you have done for me and my group. You are an inspiration. Congratulations. I am proud to quit with you.
Congrats Bro. I am proud to be quit with you. Thanks for everything you do to contribute to this amazing site. Your efforts don't go unnoticed evil! Quit with you erussell 163.
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The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - present
Day 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.
Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.
Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.
Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.
Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.
Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.
Thank you everyone.
thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'
Great accomplishment evil. Thanks for every word you have spoken at ktc. Your one of the reasons my quit was and is even possible!!
Evil, you are one of the giants here. I appreciate all that you have done for me and my group. You are an inspiration. Congratulations. I am proud to quit with you.
Congrats Bro. I am proud to be quit with you. Thanks for everything you do to contribute to this amazing site. Your efforts don't go unnoticed evil! Quit with you erussell 163.
Congrats and thanks. You are a leader and an inspiration!
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Congrats on a year Evil Won!
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Like a boss. Evil is losing. Congrats on 365!!?
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Congrats my Bro!! Another Wagin across the 1 year mark!!! On to the 4th Floor my man!! 'oh yeah'
J
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Day 94 - 10/16/13
Meeting Evil
I was running late, getting texts telling me about Evil sitting in a rural town bar surrounded by dipping fools. I get there have a couple of beers with what turns out to be a very interesting and stand up guy. Yes he is just as outspoken in person as he is on here. Those of you that have had the pleasure to meet this quitter probably feel as confident as I do that he would do anything in his power to help your quit.
I look forward to having another couple of beers with you, taking a Blackhawks or Bears game and enjoying out quits.
I have a few days to go before I hit my HOF and I am more inspired. Unfortunately during this meeting I got a text from a fellow quitter letting me know that ads he was a couple of days from his HOaf that he caved. Thank god Evil was there as I was ready to let some rage off the leash.
Thank you brother for being a fellow quitter, an awesome guy and a person to turn to. I am proud to have one more real life boot ready to kick my ass should my quit train skip off track at anytime.
Pinched
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Day 94 - 10/16/13
Meeting Evil
I was running late, getting texts telling me about Evil sitting in a rural town bar surrounded by dipping fools. I get there have a couple of beers with what turns out to be a very interesting and stand up guy. Yes he is just as outspoken in person as he is on here. Those of you that have had the pleasure to meet this quitter probably feel as confident as I do that he would do anything in his power to help your quit.
I look forward to having another couple of beers with you, taking a Blackhawks or Bears game and enjoying out quits.
I have a few days to go before I hit my HOF and I am more inspired. Unfortunately during this meeting I got a text from a fellow quitter letting me know that ads he was a couple of days from his HOaf that he caved. Thank god Evil was there as I was ready to let some rage off the leash.
Thank you brother for being a fellow quitter, an awesome guy and a person to turn to. I am proud to have one more real life boot ready to kick my ass should my quit train skip off track at anytime.
Pinched
QLF EVIL
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400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.
I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.
The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.
I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.
See you on roll.
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I'm just over Day 5 and stumble across your post referencing the allure of taking a dip, which of course is occupying my mind non-stop. So I wander back through your story and wind up at your HOF speech...damn near every word you wrote applies to my affair with Nic, and Evil Won at all the same places, and then some others.
Thanks for the inspiration to stay quit and never get in bed with Nic again.
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I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit.
Bingo. I am proud to quit with you on a daily basis. Addicted to quit. Me.
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400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.
I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.
The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.
I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.
See you on roll.
Congrats on 400 days Evil.
All I can say about this post is.....get out of my head!
I never fails when I'm in any kind of a funky spot in my quit, I read something from one of you guys that hits the spot. Yours is right where I've been at lately, just sick of it, but like you I did this to me and will continue to do what I need to stay quit.
Proud to quit with you today!
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Once again your feelings mirror my own. Congrats on 400. I know what a stuggle it is to fight this battle every day. I am inspired to trudge onward because of the example set by you and others who are continuing to beat the bitch back.
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Way to fight it out for now 401 days brother. Congrats and I will be right here with you today.
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400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.
I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.
The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.
I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.
See you on roll.
Congrats on 400 days Evil.
All I can say about this post is.....get out of my head!
I never fails when I'm in any kind of a funky spot in my quit, I read something from one of you guys that hits the spot. Yours is right where I've been at lately, just sick of it, but like you I did this to me and will continue to do what I need to stay quit.
Proud to quit with you today!
This is the shit right here!!
Get some every damn day!
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400 days in and the thought of dip still enters my consciousness at least a half dozen times a day. I did this to myself. I chose to start this. I read the warnings that nicotine was addictive and, despite knowing my obscenely addictive personality, I tried it and became an immediate slave, thief, and liar.
I’m tired of being a slave. I am no longer a slave to nicotine but a slave to Quit. I know that I can’t quit quitting. I know that I am far from being able to not post roll for a day and be “ok”. I am accepting that right now I have to choose which one to be a slave to. There is no third option. Go back to nicotine or be quit and deal with it. The constant thoughts are a reminder of addiction and without them I would become complacent; but man, lighten up.
The idea of packing a can, taking a pinch, and working it with my tongue deep into my cheek still seems not only appealing, but ok, fun, and acceptable. IÂ’m sick of that idea. I try to hate it. I try to visualize it as being a slow death, a means to orphan my little girls, a way to widow my wife. Those thoughts are a constant mental battle of power versus power and are emotionally draining. But, I am quit and if I wake tomorrow I will quit again.
I am thankful that I have KTC, the Jackwagins, layers of accountability, a spouse that knows my current struggles to escape my past of epically poor decisions, vets that lead the way, new quitters that bring new energy, and about 130 numbers in my phone for quitters that understand this daily battle.
See you on roll.
Congrats on 400 days Evil.
All I can say about this post is.....get out of my head!
I never fails when I'm in any kind of a funky spot in my quit, I read something from one of you guys that hits the spot. Yours is right where I've been at lately, just sick of it, but like you I did this to me and will continue to do what I need to stay quit.
Proud to quit with you today!
This is the shit right here!!
Get some every damn day!
Awesome 400 Evil!!! So glad youre here!
Love you man! You too Cbird!!
have a super weekend Men!!
Cheers!
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
Barely stopped laughing before someone came in my office to see what it was about!
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
My guess is OIB was searching for his giant black dildo. He wasnt sure if he left it at EW's or on the plane.
:unsure:
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You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
My guess is OIB was searching for his giant black dildo. He wasnt sure if he left it at EW's or on the plane.
:unsure:
OneImpressiveBall found OneImpressiveBlackDong. Sounds legit.
-
You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
My guess is OIB was searching for his giant black dildo. He wasnt sure if he left it at EW's or on the plane.
:unsure:
OneImpressiveBall found OneImpressiveBlackDong. Sounds legit.
I am just wondering why no one asked how/why OIB can identify Evil's "dong" by site alone...
-
You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
My guess is OIB was searching for his giant black dildo. He wasnt sure if he left it at EW's or on the plane.
:unsure:
OneImpressiveBall found OneImpressiveBlackDong. Sounds legit.
Wtf 'Popcorn'
-
You left something (http://elitedaily.com/humor/lonely-giant-black-dildo-luggage-claim-will-rip-heart-strings-video/) at the airport, Evil. (That link is semi-not safe for work).
'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'
I am sure that went to lost and found. Who would have the guts to claim it!!!!!!
Gmann maybe?
Now, that was classic. OIB, what exactly were you searching for to get that video hit?
My guess is OIB was searching for his giant black dildo. He wasnt sure if he left it at EW's or on the plane.
:unsure:
OneImpressiveBall found OneImpressiveBlackDong. Sounds legit.
Wtf 'Popcorn'
'crackup'
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
ItÂ’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
-
An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
ItÂ’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
-
An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
-
An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
I quit with you today my friend. My condolences.
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
I quit with you today my friend. My condolences.
Sorry to hear Evil.
I will, once again, quit with you my brother.
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
I quit with you today my friend. My condolences.
Sorry to hear Evil.
I will, once again, quit with you my brother.
Good eye opener, quit with you and like my buds CoachSteve and Cbird say, QLF.
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
I quit with you today my friend. My condolences.
Sorry to hear Evil.
I will, once again, quit with you my brother.
Good eye opener, quit with you and like my buds CoachSteve and Cbird say, QLF.
Quitting with you today Evil. You're one badass mofo and someday you'll be the old lady we're talking about on here that helped us all out. You won't be dying from nicotine, of course, you'll probably have been robbed and rubbed out by a Tahitian whore after an all-day bender, but still.
Seriously, thanks for everything you do and all prayers and condolences to those affected by Bobbi's life.
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An old lady named Bobbi has handled our human resources and payroll issues for the past 9 years. She weighed next to nothing, but she was feisty and got things done on time and without issue. She was a recovering alcoholic and lost a brother to alcoholism. She was a chain smoker despite battling and recovering from lung cancer. When she spoke it sounded like she had been smoking since birth.
Aside the payroll and HR stuff, she was there on a personal level to me and many others, despite never meeting most in person. When my mother in law killed herself, she was there as a source of strength through her direct experience. When my sister in law, an alcoholic, was plotting to kidnap my daughters and kill my wife and me, Bobbi was there as a source of strength through her direct experience.
Right before October ended she started to get sick again. Many, many tests were taken and it was discovered that her cancer had returned. She was still smoking. PET scans revealed that the cancer was back in the lungs, but was now also on her spine (several tumors on her spine and shoulder). The really dangerous one was the cancerous tumor on her brain.
She went into immediate retirement.
On 11/19/13 she had surgery to remove the brain tumor. Doctors said that everything went as best as one could hope for. She went home to recover with family. They were not going to address all of the others until she regained some strength and they could come up with a battle-plan.
On 12/29 she passed away at home in the presence of her family.
I went to the funeral services tonight after work. I gave my condolences to her sister, her brother in law, her kids, and many grandkids all of whom I had never met before. I think her sister was inspired by the fact that I expressed how much Bobbi had helped me, and many of my employees, on a personal level on issues completely unrelated to work.
It’s too bad that she managed to remain sober for 30 years but could never quit nicotine. I hate nicotine.
Today, only today, IÂ’m quit.
Gospel right there Brother.
Thank you for sharing brother. Proud to quit with you today.
My sincere condolences, sounds like you lost a friend and confidant.
If you need anything you know where I am.
good reminder when a case of the fuck its comes along.
I quit with you today my friend. My condolences.
Sorry to hear Evil.
I will, once again, quit with you my brother.
Good eye opener, quit with you and like my buds CoachSteve and Cbird say, QLF.
Quitting with you today Evil. You're one badass mofo and someday you'll be the old lady we're talking about on here that helped us all out. You won't be dying from nicotine, of course, you'll probably have been robbed and rubbed out by a Tahitian whore after an all-day bender, but still.
Seriously, thanks for everything you do and all prayers and condolences to those affected by Bobbi's life.
Prayers and condolences for you two and her family Evil. Sounds like she served the role of a funcitonal family member for many people in your community. And she was your friend. You have a similar role, touching many lives here, and I"m glad you are here and sorry you have to feel the loss of your friend.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
The chat room has helped me get my mind off of things and I appreciate knowing you're in there holding it down. You have helped me more than you know. Congrats on 500.
Oh yeah... and a big thanks for letting me use a picture of you as my av. That was very thoughtful!!!
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
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Nice 5 knuckle shuffle .
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
You are a paragon of quittitude Evil! Congrats and thanks! 'Cheers'
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
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Congrats Evil...incredible accomplishment...you've been a tremendous help for me in chat...all the best. Enjoy the praise!
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
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congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
Thanks for your support Evil. I appreciate you having my brothers picture as your avatar.... Ypu stand as a beacon in the night for more people than you know.. simper fi
-
'Finger'
don't get butt hurt :ph43r:
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
Thanks for your support Evil. I appreciate you having my brothers picture as your avatar.... Ypu stand as a beacon in the night for more people than you know.. simper fi
congrats....500 is such a milestone. At day 22 it seems like that is eternity away. ODAAT will get me there....God Bless and enjoy today!!!!!!!
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
Thanks for your support Evil. I appreciate you having my brothers picture as your avatar.... Ypu stand as a beacon in the night for more people than you know.. simper fi
congrats....500 is such a milestone. At day 22 it seems like that is eternity away. ODAAT will get me there....God Bless and enjoy today!!!!!!!
500 gheys. I knew you had them IN you. Keep up the great work!!!
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
Thanks for your support Evil. I appreciate you having my brothers picture as your avatar.... Ypu stand as a beacon in the night for more people than you know.. simper fi
congrats....500 is such a milestone. At day 22 it seems like that is eternity away. ODAAT will get me there....God Bless and enjoy today!!!!!!!
500 gheys. I knew you had them IN you. Keep up the great work!!!
Congrats on 500.
-
congrats my friend on 500...thanks for all you do for my quit and everyone else around here. proud to be a jackwagin with you
x2 Evil, you ROCK 'oh yeah'
This is what quit looks like! Thanks for doing all you do.
Congrats on 500 Evil! Keep doing what you have been doin. Quit on!
Well done, tip of the cap to you.
Congrats brother
Outstanding Job Sir.... :wub:
'BanDog'
Nice 5 smackers!
500 and still ghey as hell, impressive
Nice 5 bills thanks for always being there standing guard enjoy the day EVIL
Half a comma! Woot woot! Bet you 501 is even better.
:jan13trophy: 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Congratulation for quiting one day at a time for 500 consecutive days.
'oh yeah'
Keep bringing it bro! full on :wub:
5th floor is pretty sweet man. Proud to quit with you today!
Thanks people! I am proud to say that my day count is 100% accurate. If my name is on roll I will not use that day. 500 continuous days of freedom. Thank you for accepting the real me, inappropriate and all.
'Remshot'
Killing that bitch for 500!!
I don't know which I like better, your new avatar or the fact that you are halfway to your comma....
They are both good.. One makes me laugh, the other inspires.
Cheers to you Evil! 'Cheers'
Stud quitter. You've been an inspiration to many, including myself.
HOF, 1 year, half-comma, or comma - I don't think I'll ever be "cured"; and that's fucking awesome! It means I'll be back tomorrow posting with you all. Never met a finer bunch. Thank you.
Thanks for your support Evil. I appreciate you having my brothers picture as your avatar.... Ypu stand as a beacon in the night for more people than you know.. simper fi
congrats....500 is such a milestone. At day 22 it seems like that is eternity away. ODAAT will get me there....God Bless and enjoy today!!!!!!!
500 gheys. I knew you had them IN you. Keep up the great work!!!
Congrats on 500.
That's how it's done.
-
Great Job Evil. Got 500 in my sights as well and will be proud to join you, one day at a time. You are 1 bad ass quitter and a true inspiration to everyone on this site.
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
I still think about dip often. Hell, in a way I come here specifically to think about dip (and maybe help others think about it). Ironically, though, the more I come here the less I actually think about dipping.
Nice read, Evil. Just to be clear, I am not disputing the insanity thing.
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
I still think about dip often. Hell, in a way I come here specifically to think about dip (and maybe help others think about it). Ironically, though, the more I come here the less I actually think about dipping.
Nice read, Evil. Just to be clear, I am not disputing the insanity thing.
Well said!!
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
I still think about dip often. Hell, in a way I come here specifically to think about dip (and maybe help others think about it). Ironically, though, the more I come here the less I actually think about dipping.
Nice read, Evil. Just to be clear, I am not disputing the insanity thing.
Well said!!
You fucking rock. Thanks for waking the path with us.
If posting roll is to difficult, they can always fuck off.
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
I still think about dip often. Hell, in a way I come here specifically to think about dip (and maybe help others think about it). Ironically, though, the more I come here the less I actually think about dipping.
Nice read, Evil. Just to be clear, I am not disputing the insanity thing.
Well said!!
You fucking rock. Thanks for waking the path with us.
If posting roll is to difficult, they can always fuck off.
The best things in life are not easy. Freedom is not free. The path we are on is the hard path but so much more rewarding than anything I can imagine.
Proud to quit with you!
-
Ignore this - Move along. Just documenting my insanity to save the psychiatrists and Pope time and effort later.
To whome ever bitches about posting roll everyday:
You're right! Logging into KTC everyday (about 25 times a day) and posting roll every day DOES make me think about dip, a lot. There is a fork in my path every day and I must choose one direction.
The Right Hand Path: I can stop coming to KTC, and stop posting roll every day, or disappear for 63 days and then drop in to make an appearance. I may think about dip less. Thinking less about dip may make me feel better mentally, as I will not dwell on my past life as a nicotine addict and all the time, money, and health that I have wasted. I can forget that all of that ever existed. This path is a circle and never ending. It is well maintained with the greenest grass perfectly edged along the way. There are flowers, trees, bunnies, chipmunks, rainbows, it rains glitter and unicorns frolic under a cloudless blue sky. If I stumble no one will notice. Utopia.
Or
The Left Hand Path: I can chose to come here every day and post roll every day. I will constantly be reminded of dip. Some days a dip will sound really appealing. Some days I will read about a caver and wonder what that dip was like. Did he get a buzz? How did it taste? Would I enjoy it again? Jealousy. I will think about dip constantly and how I have likely shortened my life, wasted thousands of dollars, and stole time from my wife and kids. These thoughts will haunt me during the day and wake me up at night. The left hand path is cracked and worn, littered and overgrown with weeds. Instead of flowers there is rage, resentment, and fear of the future. Instead of unicorns I am surrounded my like-minded people who also choose this path. Overhead is a changing sky. Some days it is blue others cloudy or just black. I am constantly reminded that I am an addict and “just one” is a lie. However, if I even start to stumble, by not posting roll, someone will notice and make sure that I don’t fall. This path is short and is walked from start to end in one day, and one day only. At the end of the path it will be tomorrow, and again I will face a fork. I know which path I will choose: The Left Hand Path.
'clap'
The path you have chosen each day is a hard one but then you get the most rewards. Never forget! It's not a cliche. It's real. We'll said.
I still think about dip often. Hell, in a way I come here specifically to think about dip (and maybe help others think about it). Ironically, though, the more I come here the less I actually think about dipping.
Nice read, Evil. Just to be clear, I am not disputing the insanity thing.
Well said!!
You fucking rock. Thanks for waking the path with us.
If posting roll is to difficult, they can always fuck off.
The best things in life are not easy. Freedom is not free. The path we are on is the hard path but so much more rewarding than anything I can imagine.
Proud to quit with you!
Kick ass Evil. Thanks for all the support.
Freedom isn't Free (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzW2ybYFboQ)
-
Thank you Evil. Just what I needed tonight. Excellent
-
Keep writing Evil.
-
Dr. Evil_Won, MD, PhD.
Newbie Quitter
Rx: One quit per day on waking every day.
Use for the relief of death associated with dip.
Unit count#100
Refill: May refill 4 x before the end of any year.
If side effects are noticed call or visit your Local KTC Immediately
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mundays.
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mundays.
"not to kill ANY MORE people?" Shit Evil! I'm glad you are on our side! :D
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mundays.
"not to kill ANY MORE people?" Shit Evil! I'm glad you are on our side! :D
Do you do consulting?....I think some of my managers need to hear this 'bang head'
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mundays.
"not to kill ANY MORE people?" Shit Evil! I'm glad you are on our side! :D
Do you do consulting?....I think some of my managers need to hear this 'bang head'
Testify Evil, Testify Brother in the Quit Gospel!!!!!!!
-
It's Monday and my resolve to not kill any more people is being tested.
If you are being paid to do a job - do it and do it well.
If you are unhappy with something - change it. If you choose to not change it, shut the fuck up about it.
If you are not a person of your word - fuck off.
If you can't make an intelligent decision based on facts, history, and proven methods- stop trying, move over, and fuck off.
If you rely on hope and prayers to undo your fuck-ups - fuck off.
Actions speak louder than words.
Glad to be quit with you Evil
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mundays.
"not to kill ANY MORE people?" Shit Evil! I'm glad you are on our side! :D
Do you do consulting?....I think some of my managers need to hear this 'bang head'
Testify Evil, Testify Brother in the Quit Gospel!!!!!!!
Can I have you visit my workplace and meet a few people? 'crackup'
Can't agree with you more...
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
I don't recall you ever "running over" anyone on this site. You are a great example of what a true quitter needs to be. A 100% poster that is active in helping others. One of the columns that holds this place up!
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
I don't recall you ever "running over" anyone on this site. You are a great example of what a true quitter needs to be. A 100% poster that is active in helping others. One of the columns that holds this place up!
I'll quit with you and everyone else who posts daily....to those that drift away??? Good luck because you will need it.
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
I don't recall you ever "running over" anyone on this site. You are a great example of what a true quitter needs to be. A 100% poster that is active in helping others. One of the columns that holds this place up!
I'll quit with you and everyone else who posts daily....to those that drift away??? Good luck because you will need it.
Some one please tell when accountability was ever free and didn't cost the person wanting it something???
But not only that, how about the people surrounding this person who is 'wanting accountability' - it costs them too; maybe not directly but it does cost time, energy and support.
'ninja'
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
I don't recall you ever "running over" anyone on this site. You are a great example of what a true quitter needs to be. A 100% poster that is active in helping others. One of the columns that holds this place up!
I'll quit with you and everyone else who posts daily....to those that drift away??? Good luck because you will need it.
Some one please tell when accountability was ever free and didn't cost the person wanting it something???
But not only that, how about the people surrounding this person who is 'wanting accountability' - it costs them too; maybe not directly but it does cost time, energy and support.
'ninja'
Sounds like a good one to cut ties with Evil...cant save everyone!
-
I received a text from a quitter, newer than me, but not totally green. It summed up to me that KTC: extreme, daily accountability, and brotherhood are not for everyone. He didn't cave, and I hope he doesn't, but his actions, which he felt the need to share, are exactly what success on KTC is NOT about.
(name removed)
Him: "I had 5 days this week in which I did not think about dipping at all. Didn't remember that I quit, didn't forget I used to dip, just didn't think about it at all. Not once. I'm proud of you. The hard part is behind you."
Me: "'The day you forget you're an addict is the day you lose -LOOT' Be careful"
Him: "Honestly I am sick of that kind of shit. You be careful.
Me: "I've posted 564 days in a row. You've posted 4 times in the last two weeks. Not posting roll and forgetting your an addict is not a good plan in my opinion. I take back "be careful". Good luck on your impending cave, maybe more accurate. Lose my number. You are not serious about quitting."
Him: "I never said I forgot I was an addict you self absorbed wind bag. I just said that I hadn't thought about it for a few days. How much I have or have not posted is not of your goddamn concern. I'm just not as inclined to define myself by my addiction and wear it like a fucking badge. I've watched you run over people on that site for six months and I'm sick of your shit. Two promises: I'll never cave and you number is fucking wind."
Interesting.
When I read hof intros, your name comes up frequently as someone that walked a quitter to the first milestone. We've never talked, but you are the kind of quitter that I would sure want in my corner if I were a new quitter! This fight isn't for the timid or the weak, and we need all of the help along the way we can get.
Not everyone wants to quit. That's why ust has those gulfstreams and fat cat executives. Some people come here to dabble in stoppage. Others come here ballz to the wall to quit. Don't let the dabblers get you down man... Your efforts have helped save many a life. Thanks for all that you do.
Thanks for posting this Evil. He is obviously not seeing the advantage of a quit insurance policy with a $0 premium. Probably not a wise move on his part.
Keep posting that daily roll!
To each his own, but those who want to quit would be best off following the proven plan that works to increase their odds. That plan involves posting daily and building an accountability network that includes quitters like you. I'm with you on this one, as I frequently am.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink. Perhaps I feel different about it because for 100 days I carried your original HOF coin in my pocket, or perhaps like many other KTC quitters I understand that "Accountability" means to self, family and all others who care. When I need help I know who to call.
Keep doing what you do Evil. This dude probably won't make it, mostly because he is already convinced the way to stay quit is to not think about it. I tried that with pregnancy, work, planning my life, didn't work there either... Just another addict leaving the door cracked open...
I don't recall you ever "running over" anyone on this site. You are a great example of what a true quitter needs to be. A 100% poster that is active in helping others. One of the columns that holds this place up!
I'll quit with you and everyone else who posts daily....to those that drift away??? Good luck because you will need it.
Some one please tell when accountability was ever free and didn't cost the person wanting it something???
But not only that, how about the people surrounding this person who is 'wanting accountability' - it costs them too; maybe not directly but it does cost time, energy and support.
'ninja'
Sounds like a good one to cut ties with Evil...cant save everyone!
I think "him" pretty much nailed it. Fucking wind bag. Lol.
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
There, the size, color, font, and format are fixed...better?
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
There, the size, color, font, and format are fixed...better?
seriously - try sending me a PM now. Is there a button that says "Allow PMs" in your settings?
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
There, the size, color, font, and format are fixed...better?
seriously - try sending me a PM now. Is there a button that says "Allow PMs" in your settings?
Evil in your inbox message center there are PM system settings
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
There, the size, color, font, and format are fixed...better?
seriously - try sending me a PM now. Is there a button that says "Allow PMs" in your settings?
Evil in your inbox message center there are PM system settings
Found it. Fixed it.
-
Since apparently you are "not accepting personal messages at this time" I will post my response to your personal message here:
This is in reference to your message entitled "suggestion" included here for your reference:
Holy Hell!
People have been bitching about the novel-like HOF write-ups for months. No one reads them. You guys have taken it to a whole new level of obscene.
Gigantic difficult to read font, BOLD, and red is impossible to read. No one will read it.
Respectfully,
Evil_Won - 568
HOF Conductor to Feb 2013
My response:
Funny....subject line "suggestion".....not really seeing a suggestion..."Holy Hell", "People Bitching for Months", "No One Reads Them", "Whole new level of obscene"....where's the suggestion?
1) We have only been here for just over 100 days....I have know idea what "people have been bitching about for months"
2) We only know what we saw the last 100 days and are carrying the tradition forward as we learned it.
3) We all agree that we read every HOF write up in April and respected the time of those who volunteered to write it
4) If you, admins or the people who have been bitching for months would care to put together some guidelines or actual suggestions for your fellow volunteers to follow when taking over the conductor function, please do so and post them for all to see.
Again, I am open to suggestions, I don't see a suggestion in your personal message. Not sure who you think you are talking to; but I am not real appreciative of your approach. Unless your next message starts off with an apology and an actual suggestion, then let me assure you I will have a few of my own suggestions for you. For now I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that your got up on the wrong side of the bed, wrote your PM in haste or perhaps are having your period.
Not to mention not all of us are fluent in HTML, which sucks to figure out if you don't know what to look for or how to write the proper syntax.
I'm not accepting PMs? Where is that setting?
This is what each of us got when we tried to respond directly and privately to your PM:
Error:
This user is not accepting PMs at this time.
There, the size, color, font, and format are fixed...better?
seriously - try sending me a PM now. Is there a button that says "Allow PMs" in your settings?
Evil in your inbox message center there are PM system settings
Found it. Fixed it.
Thank you for your follow-up PM. I am posting this here to hopefully prevent this particular discussion from expanding any further (stuff gains legs pretty quickly around here). My (our) perception that after sending your original message you intentionally disabled our ability to respond directly and privately to you, certainly escalated the level of my own response. I agree that we are here to be and stay quit and to help others do the same. I have no idea, what HOF introductions looked like before March 2014 which is when I started reading them. Honestly it is all I have to go on. For the time being, we have already put a lot of time into this, and will continue in the manner we have learned. I am going to start a thread, later today (got to get to work but really did not want this to fester), to open up a discussion. Perhaps we need to work to establish some general guidelines, perhaps not. We will see what the community thinks. Again, thank you for your response and as far as I am concerned this is a dead issue. Quit on!
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
-
Evil, I didn't even know anything like this existed, I have heard of vapes, but never seen one, and did not know the depth of them. Thanks for sharing, excellent read.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
Even scarier that knowing that in it's purest form it is lethal to inhale and using equipment to protect yourself you would still convince yourself that it is a "safe" alternative to smoking. I see these things more and more around everywhere, what a fucking scam.
I'll keep my freedom today!
Fuck Nic 'Finger'
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
Even scarier that knowing that in it's purest form it is lethal to inhale and using equipment to protect yourself you would still convince yourself that it is a "safe" alternative to smoking. I see these things more and more around everywhere, what a fucking scam.
I'll keep my freedom today!
Fuck Nic 'Finger'
So he's stockpiling it?
Maybe he'll be able to the vape the zombies.
Addicts are dumb.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
Even scarier that knowing that in it's purest form it is lethal to inhale and using equipment to protect yourself you would still convince yourself that it is a "safe" alternative to smoking. I see these things more and more around everywhere, what a fucking scam.
I'll keep my freedom today!
Fuck Nic 'Finger'
So he's stockpiling it?
Maybe he'll be able to the vape the zombies.
Addicts are dumb.
That is about the dumbest thing I have heard... Well maybe just about as dumb as dipping Copenhagen for 25 yrs.
I can't stand that vapor crap. Big T continues to lead the lambs to the slaughter. FU Big T!!! 'Finger'
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
Even scarier that knowing that in it's purest form it is lethal to inhale and using equipment to protect yourself you would still convince yourself that it is a "safe" alternative to smoking. I see these things more and more around everywhere, what a fucking scam.
I'll keep my freedom today!
Fuck Nic 'Finger'
So he's stockpiling it?
Maybe he'll be able to the vape the zombies.
Addicts are dumb.
That is about the dumbest thing I have heard... Well maybe just about as dumb as dipping Copenhagen for 25 yrs.
I can't stand that vapor crap. Big T continues to lead the lambs to the slaughter. FU Big T!!! 'Finger'
Addicts will heard like cattle for a "safe" way to get a nicotine fix. Just another designer way to market a poison. Pretty pathetic. Shit should have been banned from the start.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
There is a store on my way home called "planet of the vapes" with a guy in a gorilla costume twirling a sign. It IS totally pathetic. and those dorks you see sucking on them driving are are complete dooshbags thinking they are so cool!
I fucking hate everything about those. Most importantly, I hate how the warning flags that even the dumb ass FDA is raising are being completely overshadowed by the "harm reduction" crowd. Even the mention of including them in smoking bans is like bringing on the Antichrist.
Meanwhile, the folks using them to "quit" are getting doses of nicotine FAR in excess of smoking, with very little long term or even short term study being done. The fact, as EW points out, is nicotine is lethal in a relatively low amounts (acutely) and the long term affects are pretty fucking awful as well. The UST execs are probably going apeshit with marketing dollars to the vape industry.
Fuck them and fuck harm reduction and other gimmicky bullshit. I flat out have told assholes who think I should be ok with those around my kids anywhere to kindly go kill themselves somewhere else. our youth soccer league banned "tobacco" from being near practice or games, and i was awfully proud when the coaches asked them to include e-cigs in the ban.
absolutely crazy. Evil is right, just a matter of time before more people start turning up with acute toxicity exposures and deaths.
Scary.
Even scarier that knowing that in it's purest form it is lethal to inhale and using equipment to protect yourself you would still convince yourself that it is a "safe" alternative to smoking. I see these things more and more around everywhere, what a fucking scam.
I'll keep my freedom today!
Fuck Nic 'Finger'
So he's stockpiling it?
Maybe he'll be able to the vape the zombies.
Addicts are dumb.
That is about the dumbest thing I have heard... Well maybe just about as dumb as dipping Copenhagen for 25 yrs.
I can't stand that vapor crap. Big T continues to lead the lambs to the slaughter. FU Big T!!! 'Finger'
Addicts will heard like cattle for a "safe" way to get a nicotine fix. Just another designer way to market a poison. Pretty pathetic. Shit should have been banned from the start.
Addicts are stupid! Look how many morons go buy meth made by god knows who or where or with what. This is not shocking to me because it is nature that someone thinks they can make a buck and goes rogue.
I choose freedom today because I can.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
Seriously? All these ghetto looking "Vape" stores that now inhabit old Cricket Wireless stores are using homemade stuff? We all know the toxic effects of nicotine, but who the hell knows what damage inhaled glycerin will do to your smaller airways? Unbelievable. Well....not really. Addicts are Addicts are Addicts. Fuck Nicotine.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
Seriously? All these ghetto looking "Vape" stores that now inhabit old Cricket Wireless stores are using homemade stuff? We all know the toxic effects of nicotine, but who the hell knows what damage inhaled glycerin will do to your smaller airways? Unbelievable. Well....not really. Addicts are Addicts are Addicts. Fuck Nicotine.
That aint all this shit is doing I heard on the news yesterday that the vapor nicotine is mutating MRSA to make it even more powerful and that antibiotics cant touch it. I don't get how such a deadly chemical is legal...hell nicotine is in pesticides because nicotine acts like a transport system for other toxins to get in. So if some dumb fuck in his garage is making a his own blend of vapor and he has contaminations in his mix your fucked...I have even heard that the meth heads are using this technology to add meth to their nicotine.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
Seriously? All these ghetto looking "Vape" stores that now inhabit old Cricket Wireless stores are using homemade stuff? We all know the toxic effects of nicotine, but who the hell knows what damage inhaled glycerin will do to your smaller airways? Unbelievable. Well....not really. Addicts are Addicts are Addicts. Fuck Nicotine.
That aint all this shit is doing I heard on the news yesterday that the vapor nicotine is mutating MRSA to make it even more powerful and that antibiotics cant touch it. I don't get how such a deadly chemical is legal...hell nicotine is in pesticides because nicotine acts like a transport system for other toxins to get in. So if some dumb fuck in his garage is making a his own blend of vapor and he has contaminations in his mix your fucked...I have even heard that the meth heads are using this technology to add meth to their nicotine.
I have not heard the MRSA/vapor connection.
MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) is not anything new. It has been around likely longer than man. The thing is there was never a test that could isolate the particular MRSA bacteria strain from other staph bacterias within a culture. If they did a skin swab of 100 people, MRSA would be on 90 people's skin. The issue is if it can can get into the body and "attach". Some people carry it (in the nose is really common) and don't know it. Other people are affected from mild to horrifically wild. It can cause limb loss, organ failure, death, etc. You just never know.
It is a continually mutating bacteria, vapor nic present or not, which makes it scary. I would not be surprised if environmental/chemical surroundings aid in it's mutations. Oh, I've had it for the past 6 years. I try to steer away from all anti-biotics (which people abuse the fuck out of) and antibacterial products (soaps and stuff). If mine gets really painful I will have to take a 10-day course of an anti-biotic called Bactrin, which was a widely used antibiotic in the 70s for kidney and urinary tract infections. Thankfully, for me, it controls it; it just can't kill it.
-
One of my employees was in the Chicago area, from central Illinois, on Friday with her husband and daughter for a concert. She has smoked since I met her. About 4 months ago she said that she quit with the help of Chantix. Good for her.
Her husband is a cool guy and we both have an appreciation for some hillbilly activities that the Feds and the TTB are not too keen on. On a few occasions we have traded our goods (mine are authentic – he cheats like fuck). Anyway, he asked about my method and in particular how to dilute it to a desired, ahem, proof. I showed him my spreadsheet and the built-in calculations that I’ve created. He chimes in with, “oh, that’s just like my app for making ‘vapor’”.
It turns out that he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day and uses an e-cigg. My employee, is no longer quit, and uses her e-cigg in addition to smoking. He is worried that the Feds are going to put in some massive controls on the e-cigg “vapor” market, in particular controlling a key ingredient to vapor – liquid nicotine. And so, he is hoarding it in massive quantities.
He explained that the liquid nicotine is quite toxic in it’s pure form (I assumed that). He has to get all “Breaking Bad” and wear a respirator and built a vapor lab in the garage to handle it when he buys it in 99% purity form. Highly dangerous! I guess that just breathing the fumes can kill and the fumes can get into fabric in your house and the fear of a child sticking his face into a nicotine laden pillow is a real danger. It takes only 56 grams of nicotine to kill a man. Nice little legal chemical. For the most part he buys a diluted version but it is still dangerous.
He whips out his smart phone and shows me this app: Program in your bottle size: he is using 10ml bottles and selling for $10 each. Enter in the grams of nicotine you want the vapor to have: he wants 36 grams per bottle. Add a ghey flavoring? The app tells him how many drops (using a blunt-tip syringe) of flavoring, nicotine, vegetable glycerin (the vapor), and water to mix per bottle. The markup is HUGE and itÂ’s legal, for now.
Someone is going to die by buying this shit off the street made by some Yokel in his lean-to. Insanity. So glad IÂ’m not a slave anymore.
This is very effing scary. I have heard some horror stories about the liquid nic and children. I don't want my kids anywhere near that synthetic shit.
I have an in-law who has deluded himself into believing that he is quit. Meanwhile he sucks on a vape pipe (looks like a giant crack pipe) and talks of how he is going to taper down. It's really pathetic to watch.
Seriously? All these ghetto looking "Vape" stores that now inhabit old Cricket Wireless stores are using homemade stuff? We all know the toxic effects of nicotine, but who the hell knows what damage inhaled glycerin will do to your smaller airways? Unbelievable. Well....not really. Addicts are Addicts are Addicts. Fuck Nicotine.
That aint all this shit is doing I heard on the news yesterday that the vapor nicotine is mutating MRSA to make it even more powerful and that antibiotics cant touch it. I don't get how such a deadly chemical is legal...hell nicotine is in pesticides because nicotine acts like a transport system for other toxins to get in. So if some dumb fuck in his garage is making a his own blend of vapor and he has contaminations in his mix your fucked...I have even heard that the meth heads are using this technology to add meth to their nicotine.
I have not heard the MRSA/vapor connection.
MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) is not anything new. It has been around likely longer than man. The thing is there was never a test that could isolate the particular MRSA bacteria strain from other staph bacterias within a culture. If they did a skin swab of 100 people, MRSA would be on 90 people's skin. The issue is if it can can get into the body and "attach". Some people carry it (in the nose is really common) and don't know it. Other people are affected from mild to horrifically wild. It can cause limb loss, organ failure, death, etc. You just never know.
It is a continually mutating bacteria, vapor nic present or not, which makes it scary. I would not be surprised if environmental/chemical surroundings aid in it's mutations. Oh, I've had it for the past 6 years. I try to steer away from all anti-biotics (which people abuse the fuck out of) and antibacterial products (soaps and stuff). If mine gets really painful I will have to take a 10-day course of an anti-biotic called Bactrin, which was a widely used antibiotic in the 70s for kidney and urinary tract infections. Thankfully, for me, it controls it; it just can't kill it.
At least a quitter's immune system isn't being taxed anymore by toxin dosing-- that's gotta help keep it (and other nasties) controlled or at bay. Scarey stuff to think of it being mixed right into the vape doses, and also coming out even stronger. Crazy!
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Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
-
Gratz Evil Won, 600 hundo is awesome!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)[/url] Hell ya Bad Ass
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
Congrats evil!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
Congrats evil!
Congrats Evil!!!
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
Congrats evil!
Congrats Evil!!!
El Jaguar del Negro quits like fuck!!! 'ninja'
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
Congrats evil!
Congrats Evil!!!
El Jaguar del Negro quits like fuck!!! 'ninja'
'oh yeah'
-
Congrats on 600 Evil! Stellar performance LF!
Well done evil! Quit on.
Thanks, quitters.
Nice 6 hunge. Keep it up.
Nice 6 bills!!!
make way
'BanDog'
Congrats on the 6th floor man, that corner office with the window must be looking good that high up. 'biggun'
Well done sir. You are a bad ass!
Congrats Evil!
'Cheers' nicely done Evil! Congrats!
bad ass
'Sing and Drink' 'band' way to be!
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s) Hell ya Bad Ass
Congrats man!
Congrats evil!
Congrats Evil!!!
El Jaguar del Negro quits like fuck!!! 'ninja'
'oh yeah'
here's to the next 600!!! http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s)[/url]
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Hey man...just wanted you to know...yous LOOT's damned hero.
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Hey man...just wanted you to know...yous LOOT's damned hero.
Sweeeeeet.
-
Damn....what a story...and an awesome diatribe on when Evil Won. But I noticed won is past tense... You've kicked Evil's sorry ass to the curb and now you're helping hundreds/thousands of others do the same. Who say's you're an asshole? :D
R,
JDW
Honor....Integrity....Accountability
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Go fuck yourself.
-
Go fuck yourself.
Is someone feeling a wee bit froggy today?
-
You will be missed bro. Take what you need and leave the rest.
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You will be missed bro. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Agreed. You helped save a lot of lives. End of the day, that is what this fight is about.
I'm not sure what spurred this decision on your part, but I will tell you just like I have come to appreciate how you would tell me... You need to wake the fuck up and get the fuck back on here! There are men and women that need your wisdom, and quite frankly you need theirs too.
I am not strong enough to do this alone. KTC and the members and principles thereof saved my life and saved yours too. Get your ass back on here. We need you, and you need us. Unless you are a special butterfly?
Worktowin
April 2013 Fog Cutter
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Go fuck yourself.
Take what you need and leave the rest. Go back and read some of the things you yourself have said to others right here in our quit home... Take your own advice Jason!
Quitters need you! You need them! Whatever your reasons for leaving are not good enough. You would tell anyone doing exactly what you're doing that it's a planned cave. Or you might just tell them to fuck off and go to lite. Either way, you wouldn't be okay with this.
Don't throw away everything you have here on KTC over drama (whatever it may be). Suck it up, post roll and get back to doing what you do here... QUIT! Others are counting on you to lead by example. Besides, didn't you give your word to post through 700? According to my calculations, if you are a man of integrity, you're stuck posting for 79 more days. That aught to give you a little time to think about your decisions and what you need to do.
Regardless of anything, Jason, I quit with you every damn day. Now shove your pride and stubbornness to the side for a bit and post roll! No coddling here, remember?!
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Go fuck yourself.
Take what you need and leave the rest. Go back and read some of the things you yourself have said to others right here in our quit home... Take your own advice Jason!
Quitters need you! You need them! Whatever your reasons for leaving are not good enough. You would tell anyone doing exactly what you're doing that it's a planned cave. Or you might just tell them to fuck off and go to lite. Either way, you wouldn't be okay with this.
Don't throw away everything you have here on KTC over drama (whatever it may be). Suck it up, post roll and get back to doing what you do here... QUIT! Others are counting on you to lead by example. Besides, didn't you give your word to post through 700? According to my calculations, if you are a man of integrity, you're stuck posting for 79 more days. That aught to give you a little time to think about your decisions and what you need to do.
Regardless of anything, Jason, I quit with you every damn day. Now shove your pride and stubbornness to the side for a bit and post roll! No coddling here, remember?!
I agree. He owes us at a minimum 79 days.
-
Go fuck yourself.
Take what you need and leave the rest. Go back and read some of the things you yourself have said to others right here in our quit home... Take your own advice Jason!
Quitters need you! You need them! Whatever your reasons for leaving are not good enough. You would tell anyone doing exactly what you're doing that it's a planned cave. Or you might just tell them to fuck off and go to lite. Either way, you wouldn't be okay with this.
Don't throw away everything you have here on KTC over drama (whatever it may be). Suck it up, post roll and get back to doing what you do here... QUIT! Others are counting on you to lead by example. Besides, didn't you give your word to post through 700? According to my calculations, if you are a man of integrity, you're stuck posting for 79 more days. That aught to give you a little time to think about your decisions and what you need to do.
Regardless of anything, Jason, I quit with you every damn day. Now shove your pride and stubbornness to the side for a bit and post roll! No coddling here, remember?!
I agree. He owes us at a minimum 79 days.
What the he'll did I miss?
-
Evil, I never mentioned it much but you were key in my first 100 days! I loved reading your advice to everyone. Here's to hoping you stick around to bust the balls of newbies as they join!
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I don't know anything except I am quit and you are one who helped me start this journey and stay that way. I am selfish and want to see your name on roll every day. Whatever you decide, thank you for your help all those times. Stay quit!
-
Go fuck yourself.
Take what you need and leave the rest. Go back and read some of the things you yourself have said to others right here in our quit home... Take your own advice Jason!
Quitters need you! You need them! Whatever your reasons for leaving are not good enough. You would tell anyone doing exactly what you're doing that it's a planned cave. Or you might just tell them to fuck off and go to lite. Either way, you wouldn't be okay with this.
Don't throw away everything you have here on KTC over drama (whatever it may be). Suck it up, post roll and get back to doing what you do here... QUIT! Others are counting on you to lead by example. Besides, didn't you give your word to post through 700? According to my calculations, if you are a man of integrity, you're stuck posting for 79 more days. That aught to give you a little time to think about your decisions and what you need to do.
Regardless of anything, Jason, I quit with you every damn day. Now shove your pride and stubbornness to the side for a bit and post roll! No coddling here, remember?!
I agree. He owes us at a minimum 79 days.
What the he'll did I miss?
Jason drama is drama we all know you need us as much we need you. You have a very strong core of supporters don't let us down.
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Go fuck yourself.
Take what you need and leave the rest. Go back and read some of the things you yourself have said to others right here in our quit home... Take your own advice Jason!
Quitters need you! You need them! Whatever your reasons for leaving are not good enough. You would tell anyone doing exactly what you're doing that it's a planned cave. Or you might just tell them to fuck off and go to lite. Either way, you wouldn't be okay with this.
Don't throw away everything you have here on KTC over drama (whatever it may be). Suck it up, post roll and get back to doing what you do here... QUIT! Others are counting on you to lead by example. Besides, didn't you give your word to post through 700? According to my calculations, if you are a man of integrity, you're stuck posting for 79 more days. That aught to give you a little time to think about your decisions and what you need to do.
Regardless of anything, Jason, I quit with you every damn day. Now shove your pride and stubbornness to the side for a bit and post roll! No coddling here, remember?!
I agree. He owes us at a minimum 79 days.
What the he'll did I miss?
Jason drama is drama we all know you need us as much we need you. You have a very strong core of supporters don't let us down.
What the hell? blow it off and get back in here. Take your own advice, stated ^^^, is right. You have impacted hundreds, from my class on.
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Very simply, you are needed. Please put that above your feelings.
Mogul
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Ok my friend,
Lets slow down a little and look at how far you have come.
Quit for 600+ days,
Was a pillar within your Jackwagin group who others looked to
Was regarded with such a high esteem for what you had done for others as you were given the opportunity to serve as a chat moderator
You have the support of how many that you have met in person there in the Chicago area.
And though out this all you have given so much great advice to others. You cannot say that you have not seen this same behavior in others only to see them return at a later date after a leave with a new day 1.
Now I hope everything is ok at home with the housing (next door) and such, but Jason you better not be turning your back on family here.
As others say, take what you need. Leave the rest. And I know you have said that too.
Just don't give it up and throw it all away.
Be good and you know how to get in touch with me if you need to talk.
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
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For what it's worth, this place is better with you than without you, you're probably better off with KTC than without KTC.
Get yer ass back in here, fuck the drama (whatever it was/is).
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Not sure WTF happened in here, but Jason you know that I am here anytime you need a beer, an ear or anything else. I carried your own quit coin in my pocket for 100 days, another quitter carried the torch after that. You were very instrumental in my quit and although I have been quiet on the forum lately we still talked via text. Fuck the drama walk away from a bit, use the other tools and we will stay quit. Granted KTC and the KTC way works but at times it can be too big a cross to bear. Take a deep breath and relax brother because life is a bitch, no need to have more bitches in it either.
Corey
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
Spot on.
Dude hasn't been on site in 2 days.
I find that speaks for actual character. Website personas are total bullshit.
Is your quit as badass as you've implied through your "persona"?
Prove it.
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
Spot on.
Dude hasn't been on site in 2 days.
I find that speaks for actual character. Website personas are total bullshit.
Is your quit as badass as you've implied through your "persona"?
Prove it.
Should I stay or should I go now?
Whatever your decision is it will not effect me. That is both sad and true I suppose Regardless, I will be here giving my word every day and upholding it to those that read it. I am not cured at day 366. Tomorrow? Maybe, but I doubt it. I still think about it many times a day proving the the smoltering remains of that romance are not dead; it is just awaiting for a flame to invigorate it and strip me of my Quit status. That won't happen. Not Today. Because I am here.
You can add your name to that list of "half-assed quitters but more likely cavers that are too weak and pussyish to admit it." ...
Note: I wish I could lay claim to those words, but those are your words. I inserted my days quit vice yours - you were at day 499 when you wrote that to dabean. I think your departure is BS... I have seen plenty of flare ups on this site I have seen plenty of people stay here and make a daily promise. Heading for the hills and running... whether you think you have a plan or not... it is the old you. The nic B has found a kink in the armor. Best of luck with your plan.
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
Spot on.
Dude hasn't been on site in 2 days.
I find that speaks for actual character. Website personas are total bullshit.
Is your quit as badass as you've implied through your "persona"?
Prove it.
Should I stay or should I go now?
Whatever your decision is it will not effect me. That is both sad and true I suppose Regardless, I will be here giving my word every day and upholding it to those that read it. I am not cured at day 366. Tomorrow? Maybe, but I doubt it. I still think about it many times a day proving the the smoltering remains of that romance are not dead; it is just awaiting for a flame to invigorate it and strip me of my Quit status. That won't happen. Not Today. Because I am here.
You can add your name to that list of "half-assed quitters but more likely cavers that are too weak and pussyish to admit it." ...
Note: I wish I could lay claim to those words, but those are your words. I inserted my days quit vice yours - you were at day 499 when you wrote that to dabean. I think your departure is BS... I have seen plenty of flare ups on this site I have seen plenty of people stay here and make a daily promise. Heading for the hills and running... whether you think you have a plan or not... it is the old you. The nic B has found a kink in the armor. Best of luck with your plan.
It's all rather disgusting. Much like the spit and dip in the bottle.
Irritated as Fuck.
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
Spot on.
Dude hasn't been on site in 2 days.
I find that speaks for actual character. Website personas are total bullshit.
Is your quit as badass as you've implied through your "persona"?
Prove it.
Should I stay or should I go now?
Whatever your decision is it will not effect me. That is both sad and true I suppose Regardless, I will be here giving my word every day and upholding it to those that read it. I am not cured at day 366. Tomorrow? Maybe, but I doubt it. I still think about it many times a day proving the the smoltering remains of that romance are not dead; it is just awaiting for a flame to invigorate it and strip me of my Quit status. That won't happen. Not Today. Because I am here.
You can add your name to that list of "half-assed quitters but more likely cavers that are too weak and pussyish to admit it." ...
Note: I wish I could lay claim to those words, but those are your words. I inserted my days quit vice yours - you were at day 499 when you wrote that to dabean. I think your departure is BS... I have seen plenty of flare ups on this site I have seen plenty of people stay here and make a daily promise. Heading for the hills and running... whether you think you have a plan or not... it is the old you. The nic B has found a kink in the armor. Best of luck with your plan.
It's all rather disgusting. Much like the spit and dip in the bottle.
Irritated as Fuck.
" Isn't it a real bitch when a string of simple words come back to haunt you? Words actually have meaning and are quite powerful. "I Quit" -- very strong words."....Evil Won to JayD41 Mar 19,2014
Evil this aint a bash you party but you have words out there that are meaningless if the person isn't here to practice what he has preached.... I would be remiss if I didn't tell you I think you are in dangerous territory, the first of your participation was renouncing your position as Mod, dropping to just posting your roll to dropping out all together....I ask you what would you have told someone else if you saw this happening to them? You would have told them what Derk has written above...you would be on them. You would have said I smell a planned cave coming...the list goes on how we bring back one of our own here at KTC. As stated above what you decide won't effect me, I am not gonna beg you to come back or hold you to 700 you are grown. I have said it earlier and will say it again post your roll let whatever it is blow over...ODAAT bro.
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Evil, I don't think you and I have ever chatted or crossed paths, but I look up to you and all of the vets. I don't know what prompted this, but I can't help but think if I was pulling this that you and 10 other multiple floor quitters would be calling me a special butterfly. So if the butterfly fits...........
Spot on.
Dude hasn't been on site in 2 days.
I find that speaks for actual character. Website personas are total bullshit.
Is your quit as badass as you've implied through your "persona"?
Prove it.
Should I stay or should I go now?
Whatever your decision is it will not effect me. That is both sad and true I suppose Regardless, I will be here giving my word every day and upholding it to those that read it. I am not cured at day 366. Tomorrow? Maybe, but I doubt it. I still think about it many times a day proving the the smoltering remains of that romance are not dead; it is just awaiting for a flame to invigorate it and strip me of my Quit status. That won't happen. Not Today. Because I am here.
You can add your name to that list of "half-assed quitters but more likely cavers that are too weak and pussyish to admit it." ...
Note: I wish I could lay claim to those words, but those are your words. I inserted my days quit vice yours - you were at day 499 when you wrote that to dabean. I think your departure is BS... I have seen plenty of flare ups on this site I have seen plenty of people stay here and make a daily promise. Heading for the hills and running... whether you think you have a plan or not... it is the old you. The nic B has found a kink in the armor. Best of luck with your plan.
It's all rather disgusting. Much like the spit and dip in the bottle.
Irritated as Fuck.
" Isn't it a real bitch when a string of simple words come back to haunt you? Words actually have meaning and are quite powerful. "I Quit" -- very strong words."....Evil Won to JayD41 Mar 19,2014
Evil this aint a bash you party but you have words out there that are meaningless if the person isn't here to practice what he has preached.... I would be remiss if I didn't tell you I think you are in dangerous territory, the first of your participation was renouncing your position as Mod, dropping to just posting your roll to dropping out all together....I ask you what would you have told someone else if you saw this happening to them? You would have told them what Derk has written above...you would be on them. You would have said I smell a planned cave coming...the list goes on how we bring back one of our own here at KTC. As stated above what you decide won't effect me, I am not gonna beg you to come back or hold you to 700 you are grown. I have said it earlier and will say it again post your roll let whatever it is blow over...ODAAT bro.
The problem w this site is you can't read the true intention of the written word or hear the inflection most of the time. Shit happens in life on top of our over worked and stressed schedules. Personally been going through a career search/change for the last 5 months and its taken a toll.
This is my quit and I own it but I have people who 'have my back'. Are you still one of those?
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I have no idea what the fuck is going on here; however, I do know that there have been many a quitters that go through some serious shit right around 700.
I'm not a true believer of the funks that looT talks about, but I do see similarities. Everyone is different, and some people react the same way at certain times. I truly think this is what's going on right here right now.
I won't call them out, but there is a quitter here that did much the same thing - went on a major tirade, got in a pissing contest with the Mod and Admin team and threatened to leave. I reached out to this guy and (I think) helped him see the forrest through the trees. He's still here, posting up, and hopefully better and stronger for the experience.
I'm not saying this to brag. I'm putting this here because many of you know Evil on a personal level. You need to reach him. He's not coming here to get it. You need to deliver that shit. Call him. Text him. Go see him. Let him know that this will pass.
Please.
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I wondered why my nose itched today. Now I found out.
Anyone between 280 -320 days, then around the 700 mark. I don't think these moments I experienced where funks, fogs or even triggers. I wasn't in danger of caving. Still posted roll daily. I was just quick to rage. I wasn't going to take any shit any more. I thought I knew how the site works and my ideas to change it were the best.
So I put in a suggestion to change something on the site (thinking I had a genius idea) It was explained and rejected. For some reason I just got pissed and then quit the site. I had people contacting me and I didn't realize my contribution and I really liked the brotherhood, so I came back and read some comments to get mad again and pick a fight with the mods. Not sure how true it was but the story I heard is that I was saved by one vote to not ban me.
What squelched the battles was Nolaq told me he knew what was going on with me. "Mthomas....You're hurting" I read that and said to myself, "The hell I am, I am nic free, my job is great, my family has never been better, I have no reason to hurt".....but it was true. That was what was going on. I had this huge victory in my life and it hurts??????
Others that knew a lot more about addiction stepped in and saved me. There is a desire as you get into a long term quit...a desire to kick all the walls out of your life. It is a dangerous time. The very relationships you love and cherish are the ones I attacked. Had I not been enlightened, I dare say my relationships with family would have suffered. I sometimes think this is the cause of so many break ups in recovery because getting healthy looks good on paper but you hurt and the hurt is displayed in short fuse anger.
Anyone that has gone the distance, deep breaths at 300 then 700. You might be hurting. Face and acknowledge the hurt. Keep reading. It passes but quitting becomes easy, recovering is still embracing the suck.
I hope that we as a group can get better at not being easily offended or easily offending. The real enemy is nicotine. We are at war with her and I appreciate your quits. Mine is stronger for it.
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Hey evil. Don't know you very well but I do know your contribution to the site. Getting off nic was a struggle for you, I do know that. Stick around man. I don't know the story and I don't want to know. I just hate to see a brother crack that door open. Post roll. It works. Fuck the rest.
Ryan
PM me your number. Not sure why we never swapped, but hopefully it is not too late.
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
Agreed. Have you texted/emailed him? I have done all I can to encourage him and get him back. Unsuccessfully.
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
Agreed. Have you texted/emailed him? I have done all I can to encourage him and get him back. Unsuccessfully.
Times 2
You're always welcome back, sir.
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
If he ever reads this again I second this sentiment. Who the hell wouldn't?
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
If he ever reads this again I second this sentiment. Who the hell wouldn't?
Evil was one of the first people to reach out to me and direct my foggy ass to the right place.
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The community here is a poorer place without Evil.......period
Agreed. Have you texted/emailed him? I have done all I can to encourage him and get him back. Unsuccessfully.
Times 2
You're always welcome back, sir.
Evil knows more than anyone else that KTC is bigger than any individual. He probably would also cringe at the thought of us keeping his intro page on the front page with this fanfare. He chose to get wrapped up in the BS and the simple fact is this: he hasn't posted roll in 4 days.
"Take what you need and leave the rest."
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I Quit every day all day and then I live my life knowing that I am part of a very special group of people. We all know what it means to be quit and we all know what KTC has done for us in our tough journey. Leave the bullshit at the door and quit like it's the only thing that matters. It really saddens me that this is what seems to be important to some people.
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First thing that comes to mind is "Wow" I wasted over an hour trying to figure out what the hell is going on around here. I had briefly heard of the rumbling but to be honest I am so busy that until just a couple nights ago didn't even realize the extent of the drama unfolding. Its starting to die down now I think, which is good because after all KTC exists to save addicts and I would guess that Loot EW would agree, this the most important thing. Hurt feelings and personal battles and all that crap really don't matter in the grand scheme of life. Your personal quit, your family, those are really the only things that mean anything. You may ask, why are you even taking the time to reply to this now? Well I am replying to this because when a newbie stumbles across it, I hope they take 2 minutes to read this and take into account before running away if that was their inkling.
In life we need to honor those that came before us and cut the path. Without trail blazers we wouldn't get far in the world. For me, it doesn't matter if that is here at KTC or some other facet of life. Honoring those that came before us should always take place. Because of this, I thank Loot for his dedication to KTC in being a founding father and to EW for his dedication the past couple years as well. I would buy either one of them a beer if I saw them. That said, honoring someone doesn't mean anything but that, doesn't mean I owe them anything more then that respect. I will always respect guys like EW Loot, who have a stand-up take no prisoners, no bullshit attitude. I seem to take a similar approach to things in life. I can also respect them taking a stance for their personal belief's or feelings towards a subject matter and wouldn't hold it against them. It also means that any of the other Admin, founders or what have you would get anything else from me either. I will give you the respect and honor you deserve for your accomplishments. No more, no less. If you are an Admin, Mod or anyone else here as a supposed active participating member of KTC and don't post roll on a regular basis, that is between you and yours. If you can put your head on the pillow at night and have no regrets, what do I care. It doesn't effect my quit in the least. Its about as worrisome as a rainy day in my world to be honest. If you are doing that and I knew about it, then I actually would have a little pity for you. Because your soul is a bit empty in my opinion. But again in my world it doesn't effect me. Would I personally associate with you if I knew this was your character, nope I would not. That is why it really means nothing to me how you behave or how you live your life as long as it doesn't hurt my quit.
Now, all that said, I am actually one of the quitters who never really had any direct contact from either Loot or EW, maybe a little banter in the chat room, but nothing special. Guess what? I am still here on day 222 as I type this. My point you ask? My point is that KTC, the entity is bigger then any one or two people can ever be. Loot and the other 6 have created a monster of quit, a medusa that will continue to create quitters with or without them. Cut one head off and another will grow to take its place. KTC isn't about Loot or EW or me or Chewie or Gmann or Franpro or anybody else for that matter, its about KTC the entity! We can honor those from the past and like I said, I would buy anyone of the 7 founding members or folks like EW a beer if I ever have the honor of meeting them. But life is about the future, not the past! If you live in the past, you get passed by or you die, period! If I was living in the past, I would still be packing in a lip turd every 60-90 minutes I was awake. I choose to live in the present and plan for the future, so I quit one day at a time and sometimes one hour at time. Because of that I salute Loot EW for what they helped create and wish they would choose to be here because they themselves are truly the ones who will be hurt the most by leaving. I wish they would reconsider and stay but also respect their decision since much of this is a personal thing. Me, I will not waste another moment looking backward today. Here is to everyone on KTC today with me, all those that made the promise to not use nicotine today. To continue our climb to the top of Everest, I salute you fellow quit brothers and sisters and promise I am quit with you today!
Menace
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congrats on 12th floor friend. 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
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congrats on 12th floor friend. 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Nice Evil keep going where are
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congrats on 12th floor friend. 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Nice Evil keep going where are
Lame.
Dude got all butthurt and bailed this site. Hasn't been on for close to 2 years.
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congrats on 12th floor friend. 'boob' 'boob' 'boob'
Nice Evil keep going where are
Lame.
Dude got all butthurt and bailed this site. Hasn't been on for close to 2 years.
Congrats Dude, enjoy your meet with Sportsfan...don't drop the soap!