KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Brianecamp on October 11, 2016, 04:24:00 PM
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I quit 2 days ago, dipped for 12 years and my wife, friends and family never knew. I've been posting roll the last two days and will continue doing so. Many of the stories sounds familiar here, from ninja dippers to the scary things that show up in your mouth.
6 months ago, the dentist found a gray area in my mouth and referred me to a specialist. I didn't go for 6 months, just figured it was nothing. At the same time, over the last 6 months I've had muscle and neck issues on my right neck/shoulder that kind of go up into my jaw. It is very concerning to have constant pain around the area that I always put a dip in. It's a constant source of anxiety, even if it's very unlikely for it to be related to dipping.
Last week for some reason, these two things really freaked me out- with one 2.5 year old and another on the way in 30 days, I decided I didn't want to die of cancer. I scheduled an appointment with the specialist who was able to get me in yesterday at 9am, two days after I called. I was convinced over the weekend that I had cancer, but the specialist checked inside my mouth and felt my neck and found nothing- not even the gray area that the dentist was worried about. That was a relief, but..
I still have a constant pain in my neck area and now my cheek and jaw are tingling a little. I think most of it is related to stress and the actual withdrawal at this point, but it's still causing a ton of anxiety. I am not eating much at all right now. Trying to keep fluids and fruit if I can, but I will probably lose 15 pounds in the next 30 days if this keeps up.
I have quit in the past, but this is different. I have no desire to dip and am glad to have found this site. I will be back tomorrow to post roll.
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I quit 2 days ago, dipped for 12 years and my wife, friends and family never knew. I've been posting roll the last two days and will continue doing so. Many of the stories sounds familiar here, from ninja dippers to the scary things that show up in your mouth.
6 months ago, the dentist found a gray area in my mouth and referred me to a specialist. I didn't go for 6 months, just figured it was nothing. At the same time, over the last 6 months I've had muscle and neck issues on my right neck/shoulder that kind of go up into my jaw. It is very concerning to have constant pain around the area that I always put a dip in. It's a constant source of anxiety, even if it's very unlikely for it to be related to dipping.
Last week for some reason, these two things really freaked me out- with one 2.5 year old and another on the way in 30 days, I decided I didn't want to die of cancer. I scheduled an appointment with the specialist who was able to get me in yesterday at 9am, two days after I called. I was convinced over the weekend that I had cancer, but the specialist checked inside my mouth and felt my neck and found nothing- not even the gray area that the dentist was worried about. That was a relief, but..
I still have a constant pain in my neck area and now my cheek and jaw are tingling a little. I think most of it is related to stress and the actual withdrawal at this point, but it's still causing a ton of anxiety. I am not eating much at all right now. Trying to keep fluids and fruit if I can, but I will probably lose 15 pounds in the next 30 days if this keeps up.
I have quit in the past, but this is different. I have no desire to dip and am glad to have found this site. I will be back tomorrow to post roll.
Brian, anxiety is very common amongst addicts. Extremely. Many of us used nicotine to deal with life. Nicotine really dulls the nerves.
So... when you are stressed, you use nicotine to bring you down. When you are down, you use nicotine to bring you up. It takes the ups, and the downs away. In other words, it dulls life.
Some anxiety meds, short term, might help. I didn't personally use them, but a lot of people on here have. If it helps you through the early days of your quit, don't be ashamed to use them.
As far as the ninja... I was too dude. 25 years. I came completely clean to my wife several hundred days into my quit. One of the toughest, and best conversations I ever had. You are doing the right thing now, but if you come to a point where you feel the need to share - it will make your relationship with her stronger.
It is an honor to quit with you today. Welcome aboard.
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Thanks- I have quit once before but it was different. I think I knew I would end going back to dipping and never had this level of symptoms.
It's crazy how my mood changes from hour to hour.... glad to have the support here!
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Welcome, Brian. I'm only on day 26 of my quit, but I know about the anxiety. I *never* experienced anxiety until I quit, and I had it bad early on, including a trip to urgent care when I thought I was dying. My anxiety has all but disappeared at this point. Yours will go away as well. The thing is, everybody's quit is different. There are loads of withdrawal symptoms; you'll experience some of them and others you won't experience. Some of your symptoms will be more/less intense and long-lasting than they are for others. Just be ready for whatever the nic bitch throws at you and power through it.
Also, I found it really helpful in the first few weeks of my quit to read as much as possible on this site - particularly HOF speeches and long intro threads. You'll learn a lot about other quitters symptoms, about what to expect, etc.
I quit with you today.
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I can't seem to eat anything the last few days without feeling nauseous. It's crazy- pretty much just water.
Anyone have similar experience?
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I can't seem to eat anything the last few days without feeling nauseous. It's crazy- pretty much just water.
Anyone have similar experience?
Yep.
Be patient, man. Your body and mind are just all fooked up right now because you're depriving it of the drug you've been living on for so long. Nicotine is some nasty evil shit! Next thing you know... You'll be eating everything in sight! Just roll with it and know that it's all fairly normal during this process. Keep rockin'!
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I can't seem to eat anything the last few days without feeling nauseous. It's crazy- pretty much just water.
Anyone have similar experience?
Yep.
Be patient, man. Your body and mind are just all fooked up right now because you're depriving it of the drug you've been living on for so long. Nicotine is some nasty evil shit! Next thing you know... You'll be eating everything in sight! Just roll with it and know that it's all fairly normal during this process. Keep rockin'!
Nicotine sucks. Soon you will be better, just keep quitting.
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Nausea gone, replaced by a huge appetite now. I will take that any day over the nausea.
Thanks for the replies. Still quit.
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Nausea gone, replaced by a huge appetite now. I will take that any day over the nausea.
Thanks for the replies. Still quit.
Righteous!
Just roll with it man... lotsa changes and ups and downs. It's a real roller coaster for awhile but it DOES smooth out and become the best ride you've ever been on. Freedom kicks ass... stay on the ride and you'll see.
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Last 15 days have been tough, but every morning I felt confident I could make it through the day. The worst part is the anxiety. I have tingling / soreness in jaw and cheek. I also have tightness in neck and shoulders and back that has been going on for months, which is unrelated but still causes anxiety due to proximity to where I used to dip. I have been to dentist already who did full neck and mouth exam and found nothing....
Hoping the soreness eases up soon... Causing way too much anxiety.
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Last 15 days have been tough, but every morning I felt confident I could make it through the day. The worst part is the anxiety. I have tingling / soreness in jaw and cheek. I also have tightness in neck and shoulders and back that has been going on for months, which is unrelated but still causes anxiety due to proximity to where I used to dip. I have been to dentist already who did full neck and mouth exam and found nothing....
Hoping the soreness eases up soon... Causing way too much anxiety.
Hey Brianecamp
Your first 15 days sound just like my first days . I don't know if the pain caused the anxiety or the anxiety caused the pain . For me it got better with time, right now your body is trying to figure out how to operate without nicotine. Here is a video that helped me to understand what was going on the guy that is giving the lecture is a little different but listen to his explanation. I hope this helps out..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig)
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Last 15 days have been tough, but every morning I felt confident I could make it through the day. The worst part is the anxiety. I have tingling / soreness in jaw and cheek. I also have tightness in neck and shoulders and back that has been going on for months, which is unrelated but still causes anxiety due to proximity to where I used to dip. I have been to dentist already who did full neck and mouth exam and found nothing....
Hoping the soreness eases up soon... Causing way too much anxiety.
Hey Brianecamp
Your first 15 days sound just like my first days . I don't know if the pain caused the anxiety or the anxiety caused the pain . For me it got better with time, right now your body is trying to figure out how to operate without nicotine. Here is a video that helped me to understand what was going on the guy that is giving the lecture is a little different but listen to his explanation. I hope this helps out..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig)
Stress, anxiety, pain we all had it my brother. It takes time but it will get better. Worrying will only lead to more stress and anxiety. Live your life just like your quit, ODAAT. Live it to the fullest because none of us are promised tomorrow! Quit on!
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Last 15 days have been tough, but every morning I felt confident I could make it through the day. The worst part is the anxiety. I have tingling / soreness in jaw and cheek. I also have tightness in neck and shoulders and back that has been going on for months, which is unrelated but still causes anxiety due to proximity to where I used to dip. I have been to dentist already who did full neck and mouth exam and found nothing....
Hoping the soreness eases up soon... Causing way too much anxiety.
Hey Brianecamp
Your first 15 days sound just like my first days . I don't know if the pain caused the anxiety or the anxiety caused the pain . For me it got better with time, right now your body is trying to figure out how to operate without nicotine. Here is a video that helped me to understand what was going on the guy that is giving the lecture is a little different but listen to his explanation. I hope this helps out..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqFGfy6yvig)
Thanks mike! Many parts of that video hit it right on the head. Great for anyone trying
To understand what is going on.
Appreciate the support.
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Realized i was only posting the bad stuff and wanted to post the good as well. On Sunday, I had a weird experience, but great. I walked out our back door the same way I have hundreds of other times, but this time it was different. I walked out, felt the sun shining on my skin, heard birds singing, and for the first time in I don't remember how long, I felt 100% present in the moment. I wasn't thinking about a dip, or anything else for the matter... I was just being in the present. It only lasted about 10 seconds, but it was both surprising and amazing.
5 minutes later I was worrying about tingling in my cheek again, but I can look back on those 10 seconds standing there and remember why it's worth it to stay quit today.
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Realized i was only posting the bad stuff and wanted to post the good as well. On Sunday, I had a weird experience, but great. I walked out our back door the same way I have hundreds of other times, but this time it was different. I walked out, felt the sun shining on my skin, heard birds singing, and for the first time in I don't remember how long, I felt 100% present in the moment. I wasn't thinking about a dip, or anything else for the matter... I was just being in the present. It only lasted about 10 seconds, but it was both surprising and amazing.
5 minutes later I was worrying about tingling in my cheek again, but I can look back on those 10 seconds standing there and remember why it's worth it to stay quit today.
Hahaha Brian! That was your first glimpse of true Freedom brother. Keep at it. Those moments will start lasting longer and happen much more frequently. It really does get so much better. You just have to trudge through a lot of crap to get there. You are doing great!
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Realized i was only posting the bad stuff and wanted to post the good as well. On Sunday, I had a weird experience, but great. I walked out our back door the same way I have hundreds of other times, but this time it was different. I walked out, felt the sun shining on my skin, heard birds singing, and for the first time in I don't remember how long, I felt 100% present in the moment. I wasn't thinking about a dip, or anything else for the matter... I was just being in the present. It only lasted about 10 seconds, but it was both surprising and amazing.
5 minutes later I was worrying about tingling in my cheek again, but I can look back on those 10 seconds standing there and remember why it's worth it to stay quit today.
Hahaha Brian! That was your first glimpse of true Freedom brother. Keep at it. Those moments will start lasting longer and happen much more frequently. It really does get so much better. You just have to trudge through a lot of crap to get there. You are doing great!
Hold on to those moments. You'll have more and more of them keep it up.
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Realized i was only posting the bad stuff and wanted to post the good as well. On Sunday, I had a weird experience, but great. I walked out our back door the same way I have hundreds of other times, but this time it was different. I walked out, felt the sun shining on my skin, heard birds singing, and for the first time in I don't remember how long, I felt 100% present in the moment. I wasn't thinking about a dip, or anything else for the matter... I was just being in the present. It only lasted about 10 seconds, but it was both surprising and amazing.
5 minutes later I was worrying about tingling in my cheek again, but I can look back on those 10 seconds standing there and remember why it's worth it to stay quit today.
Hahaha Brian! That was your first glimpse of true Freedom brother. Keep at it. Those moments will start lasting longer and happen much more frequently. It really does get so much better. You just have to trudge through a lot of crap to get there. You are doing great!
Hold on to those moments. You'll have more and more of them keep it up.
I love reading a good introduction thread! You can watch folks evolve from a bad state to a great state over time. It's really inspiring to see.
You're off to a great start Brianecamp - I quit with you today! :)
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Yesterday I had a nasty sore pop up on my tongue and some smaller ones on my cheek. I know it's normal, but still stressful. Hoping it clears up sooner rather than later.
The sores and feeling in my cheek / jaw is really the worst part of my quit at day 18. I am positive that I am quit for today no matter what.
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Yesterday I had a nasty sore pop up on my tongue and some smaller ones on my cheek. I know it's normal, but still stressful. Hoping it clears up sooner rather than later.
The sores and feeling in my cheek / jaw is really the worst part of my quit at day 18. I am positive that I am quit for today no matter what.
There is a lot of info on this but I can't tell you where I read it. The thing is that you have changed the ph makeup of your mouth. Dip really screwed with your system in there and it will take a while for things to settle. Also not sure what you are using for coping with the cravings but that stuff probably has alot of salt in it which cause those sores to come up. I can promise you this that dipping again will not make them go away. I saw your post earlier about walking out the door and just seeing everything better and clearer for the first time in a long time. I experienced that exact thing a few weeks after I quit over 3 years ago. It is the feeling of freedom dude and you should embrace it with all you have. I quit with you today!!!
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Yesterday I had a nasty sore pop up on my tongue and some smaller ones on my cheek. I know it's normal, but still stressful. Hoping it clears up sooner rather than later.
The sores and feeling in my cheek / jaw is really the worst part of my quit at day 18. I am positive that I am quit for today no matter what.
There is a lot of info on this but I can't tell you where I read it. The thing is that you have changed the ph makeup of your mouth. Dip really screwed with your system in there and it will take a while for things to settle. Also not sure what you are using for coping with the cravings but that stuff probably has alot of salt in it which cause those sores to come up. I can promise you this that dipping again will not make them go away. I saw your post earlier about walking out the door and just seeing everything better and clearer for the first time in a long time. I experienced that exact thing a few weeks after I quit over 3 years ago. It is the feeling of freedom dude and you should embrace it with all you have. I quit with you today!!!
Man i remember really worrying a lot when my mouth did the sloughing off of the skin thing. But hang in there. Relief comes. Still, if i eat too much salt or something and get a sore i panic. But you learn eventually that it goes away, and then calm comes quicker.
Keep the great quit log going- and building a great quit!
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Yesterday I had a nasty sore pop up on my tongue and some smaller ones on my cheek. I know it's normal, but still stressful. Hoping it clears up sooner rather than later.
The sores and feeling in my cheek / jaw is really the worst part of my quit at day 18. I am positive that I am quit for today no matter what.
There is a lot of info on this but I can't tell you where I read it. The thing is that you have changed the ph makeup of your mouth. Dip really screwed with your system in there and it will take a while for things to settle. Also not sure what you are using for coping with the cravings but that stuff probably has alot of salt in it which cause those sores to come up. I can promise you this that dipping again will not make them go away. I saw your post earlier about walking out the door and just seeing everything better and clearer for the first time in a long time. I experienced that exact thing a few weeks after I quit over 3 years ago. It is the feeling of freedom dude and you should embrace it with all you have. I quit with you today!!!
Man i remember really worrying a lot when my mouth did the sloughing off of the skin thing. But hang in there. Relief comes. Still, if i eat too much salt or something and get a sore i panic. But you learn eventually that it goes away, and then calm comes quicker.
Keep the great quit log going- and building a great quit!
Tip for those with mouth sores- avoid spicy food- it burns like a mother. Mouth was feeling ok until I ate mexican....
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Found this stuff called XyliMints that is supposed to help with ph balance in your mouth and also got some canker sore medicine, which pretty much just numbs your mouth. Seems to help with the pain.
I also bought some of those Listerine strips today which are great- they get rid of bad taste in mouth.... highly recommend if anyone is having mouth issues.
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Found this stuff called XyliMints that is supposed to help with ph balance in your mouth and also got some canker sore medicine, which pretty much just numbs your mouth. Seems to help with the pain.
I also bought some of those Listerine strips today which are great- they get rid of bad taste in mouth.... highly recommend if anyone is having mouth issues.
Continue to read stories on here brian it will help you realize and give you reassurance that what you're going through is normal. I understand totally how the stress messes with our heads. I've finally learned I'm no longer worried about tomorrow I'm looking for that 10 seconds of heaven you experienced and not letting stress cheat me out of it. You will see farther along in your quit, that you will be doing things differently as far as wanting to really make changes for the better in almost everything you do. It's truly amazing and I promise you that someday you will understand what that means. Damn proud of you and proud to be quit with you! Quit on!
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Apple cider vinegar will balance your body's ph. And cheaply. I fill up a mug of water, heat it up in the microwave. Then put in about a TB of ACV (Braggs unfiltered) and raw, local honey and mix. You get accustomed to the flavor - I enjoy it now - and I sip it like tea at night.
You are doing great in your quit!
FLLIP
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Apple cider vinegar will balance your body's ph. And cheaply. I fill up a mug of water, heat it up in the microwave. Then put in about a TB of ACV (Braggs unfiltered) and raw, local honey and mix. You get accustomed to the flavor - I enjoy it now - and I sip it like tea at night.
You are doing great in your quit!
FLLIP
Thanks I will give that a shot!
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Day 23-
Had a pretty good day 22, anxiety to start the day but lessened the rest of the day. The sore in my cheek seemed to heal quite a bit, and I was actually able to eat something that wasn't soft.
Day 23- sore is still healing in my mouth, but not completely healed like I hoped it would be. Lips and cheek, and really entire face is tingling / hurts a little. Found a couple of new sores in my mouth today. Thinking about what is wrong with my face is really causing a ton of anxiety... even though I have been reassured by many in the livechat and on this thread and countless articles that it is almost certainly just the body healing itself.
I know that no matter what today feels like, I am better off now than 24 days ago. I quit again today.
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Day 23-
Had a pretty good day 22, anxiety to start the day but lessened the rest of the day. The sore in my cheek seemed to heal quite a bit, and I was actually able to eat something that wasn't soft.
Day 23- sore is still healing in my mouth, but not completely healed like I hoped it would be. Lips and cheek, and really entire face is tingling / hurts a little. Found a couple of new sores in my mouth today. Thinking about what is wrong with my face is really causing a ton of anxiety... even though I have been reassured by many in the livechat and on this thread and countless articles that it is almost certainly just the body healing itself.
I know that no matter what today feels like, I am better off now than 24 days ago. I quit again today.
The comment about Mexican food made me laugh out loud dude. Sounds like something I would have done too. Tacos are delicious.
Your mouth will heal. This is crazy common. Give it 2 weeks.
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Day 23-
Had a pretty good day 22, anxiety to start the day but lessened the rest of the day. The sore in my cheek seemed to heal quite a bit, and I was actually able to eat something that wasn't soft.
Day 23- sore is still healing in my mouth, but not completely healed like I hoped it would be. Lips and cheek, and really entire face is tingling / hurts a little. Found a couple of new sores in my mouth today. Thinking about what is wrong with my face is really causing a ton of anxiety... even though I have been reassured by many in the livechat and on this thread and countless articles that it is almost certainly just the body healing itself.
I know that no matter what today feels like, I am better off now than 24 days ago. I quit again today.
The comment about Mexican food made me laugh out loud dude. Sounds like something I would have done too. Tacos are delicious.
Your mouth will heal. This is crazy common. Give it 2 weeks.
I still get em once and a while at almost 300 days, I also have noticed my cheeks starting to feel like they are shedding again. Weird to me but it's part of healing man it gets way better
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Day 23-
Had a pretty good day 22, anxiety to start the day but lessened the rest of the day. The sore in my cheek seemed to heal quite a bit, and I was actually able to eat something that wasn't soft.
Day 23- sore is still healing in my mouth, but not completely healed like I hoped it would be. Lips and cheek, and really entire face is tingling / hurts a little. Found a couple of new sores in my mouth today. Thinking about what is wrong with my face is really causing a ton of anxiety... even though I have been reassured by many in the livechat and on this thread and countless articles that it is almost certainly just the body healing itself.
I know that no matter what today feels like, I am better off now than 24 days ago. I quit again today.
The comment about Mexican food made me laugh out loud dude. Sounds like something I would have done too. Tacos are delicious.
Your mouth will heal. This is crazy common. Give it 2 weeks.
I still get em once and a while at almost 300 days, I also have noticed my cheeks starting to feel like they are shedding again. Weird to me but it's part of healing man it gets way better
thanks guys- yes the tacos were fucking worth it.
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Day 25 -
Had my first dip dream last night. I blame the wine.... because I usually don't dream much at all. It was scary and I thought for sure I had caved until I woke up... it was really surreal.
Day 24 (yesterday) was great, best day so far. Face felt somewhat normal and I felt like myself for most of the day... which was amazing.
Day 25 (today) not quite so great, but I'll blame that on hangover more than anything else...
The good hours / days are coming more frequently, while ups and downs are still consistent, they are evening out quite a bit.
Happy to be quit today with January.
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Day 25 -
Had my first dip dream last night. I blame the wine.... because I usually don't dream much at all. It was scary and I thought for sure I had caved until I woke up... it was really surreal.
Day 24 (yesterday) was great, best day so far. Face felt somewhat normal and I felt like myself for most of the day... which was amazing.
Day 25 (today) not quite so great, but I'll blame that on hangover more than anything else...
The good hours / days are coming more frequently, while ups and downs are still consistent, they are evening out quite a bit.
Happy to be quit today with January.
Glad you are here and understanding what a gift being quit is.
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100 days is badass Camper!
Congrats man !
Keep it up.