KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Community => Introductions => Topic started by: dante on May 26, 2011, 12:08:00 PM

Title: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on May 26, 2011, 12:08:00 PM
Hello all, I'm Dante. I had my last dip on May 9, 2011 and have made it this far on my own. I have made umpteen attempts at quitting, however this is my last. I QUIT! Really...I mean it. This time is different because I'm tired of being a slave to that crutch and tired of lying to people.

I started off as a smoker 17 years ago and quit smoking 5 years ago, since I need to maintain a high physical fitness standard for my job (my run time was suffering due to diminished lung capacity). I was successful at quitting because I substituted one disgusting habit for another...from Marlboro Ultra Light Menthols to Skoal Long Cut Apple Blend. One can every two days.

My wife thinks I quit nicotine years ago, I've been hiding it from her. I only did it outside her company. I'm ashamed of that. And now she's the unfortunate lucky recipient of my craziness and rage...and she has no idea why, because I've mislead her for the past few years. Does that make me a lousy person? I hope not. We are expecting our first child in November, and I want to be around for a long time.

I'm glad I found this site...I've been lurking for the past few days. I have found many of your posts to be helpful so far...so thank you to those who post and share.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: kd5fic on May 26, 2011, 12:28:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
Hello all, I'm Dante. I had my last dip on May 9, 2011 and have made it this far on my own. I have made umpteen attempts at quitting, however this is my last. I QUIT! Really...I mean it. This time is different because I'm tired of being a slave to that crutch and tired of lying to people.

I started off as a smoker 17 years ago and quit smoking 5 years ago, since I need to maintain a high physical fitness standard for my job (my run time was suffering due to diminished lung capacity). I was successful at quitting because I substituted one disgusting habit for another...from Marlboro Ultra Light Menthols to Skoal Long Cut Apple Blend. One can every two days.

My wife thinks I quit nicotine years ago, I've been hiding it from her. I only did it outside her company. I'm ashamed of that. And now she's the unfortunate lucky recipient of my craziness and rage...and she has no idea why, because I've mislead her for the past few years. Does that make me a lousy person? I hope not. We are expecting our first child in November, and I want to be around for a long time.

I'm glad I found this site...I've been lurking for the past few days. I have found many of your posts to be helpful so far...so thank you to those who post and share.
Welcome. Congrats on taking the first steps on your own. Now post roll and keep your word...

and don't take anything out on your wife, she didn't do this to you, you have no one to blame but yourself. Take your rage out in chat, or slam your testicles in a desk drawer repeatedly, but do not yell/cuss/bitch at her!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Boilerbates on May 26, 2011, 01:13:00 PM
Welcome Dante.

post roll everyday and promise you're quit, one day at a time.

I'll do the same, so will everyone else and we'll all be quit together.

it make's it easier.

bet you didn't have that support in the umpteen prior attempts.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Radman on May 26, 2011, 02:31:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
...have made it this far on my own.

...I have made umpteen attempts at quitting

...My wife thinks I quit nicotine years ago, I've been hiding it from her. I only did it outside her company. I'm ashamed of that. And now she's the unfortunate lucky recipient of my craziness and rage...and she has no idea why, because I've mislead her for the past few years.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. I was in the EXACT same spot.

First and most importantly: My wife forgave me for the lie and has been MAJOR in my quit. Read what I posted here yesterday: index.php?showtopic=4752 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4752).

I was a late addition to Dec 2010 HOF group, but those guys welcomed me as family. They are my quit. I still make them a promise every single day.

Congrats on your decision to quit. Let me know if I can help you any way.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: ninereasons on May 26, 2011, 03:27:00 PM
Congratulations on your awesome quit, Dante. Its good too to see you bogart that smoldering fib that's been sucking your self-respect away. It looks like life is coming into focus. Fantastic.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: redtrain14 on May 26, 2011, 03:43:00 PM
Better late than never, glad you found us.

Welcome and congrats! Post roll and get involved.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on May 26, 2011, 08:34:00 PM
Quote from: Radman
Quote from: Dante
...have made it this far on my own. 

...I have made umpteen attempts at quitting

...My wife thinks I quit nicotine years ago, I've been hiding it from her.  I only did it outside her company.  I'm ashamed of that.  And now she's the unfortunate lucky recipient of my craziness and rage...and she has no idea why, because I've mislead her for the past few years.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. I was in the EXACT same spot.

First and most importantly: My wife forgave me for the lie and has been MAJOR in my quit. Read what I posted here yesterday: index.php?showtopic=4752 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4752).

I was a late addition to Dec 2010 HOF group, but those guys welcomed me as family. They are my quit. I still make them a promise every single day.

Congrats on your decision to quit. Let me know if I can help you any way.
Radman...your linked post was one that I read prior to joining. It really spoke to me and convinced me to join. Glad I stumbled onto it. Thanks for your reply!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: nicofiend on May 26, 2011, 08:50:00 PM
Welcome Dante! POST UP AND GET ON WITH THE QUIT!! POST DAILY AND TAKE YOUR QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME= SUCCESS Nicofiend
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: BTM99 on May 26, 2011, 08:56:00 PM
Welcome, glad to have you in August!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on May 27, 2011, 10:24:00 PM
Some douche left a used, half full spitter on my desk. That was how my day began at 0700...and unfortunately that was the hight point of my day. Today was a tough one...but I kept my word.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: magnum9 on May 27, 2011, 10:30:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
Some douche left a used, half full spitter on my desk. That was how my day began at 0700...and unfortunately that was the hight point of my day. Today was a tough one...but I kept my word.
Congrats on your decision. It is a great decision.

If you know who the douche is, I am not joking when I say to pour that out on his desk next time he is away from it.

Don't feel bad about it either.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: jaygib on May 27, 2011, 11:09:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
Some douche left a used, half full spitter on my desk. That was how my day began at 0700...and unfortunately that was the hight point of my day. Today was a tough one...but I kept my word.
So that's where I left it

OK a little levity never hurt, nice job today. When we can quit in the face of the tough days we can quit!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on May 30, 2011, 09:26:00 PM
BBQ conversation yesterday:

Al: So...when the baby is born, are you gonna buy cigars for everyone?

Me: Nope

Al: You can have one cigar in November...cantcha?

Me: Not for me

Al: Come on...no big deal...

Me: NO, I CAN NEVER have Nicotine in any form ever again. I am an addict and will always be an addict. Nicotine for me is like alcohol for an alcoholic or heroin for a junkie.

Moment of clarity...thank you KTC community!

P.S. the smoked pulled pork was my best work thus far in my life...maybe it's because I can taste again.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: G on May 30, 2011, 11:11:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
BBQ conversation yesterday:

Al: So...when the baby is born, are you gonna buy cigars for everyone?

Me: Nope

Al: You can have one cigar in November...cantcha?

Me: Not for me

Al: Come on...no big deal...

Me: NO, I CAN NEVER have Nicotine in any form ever again. I am an addict and will always be an addict. Nicotine for me is like alcohol for an alcoholic or heroin for a junkie.

Moment of clarity...thank you KTC community!

P.S. the smoked pulled pork was my best work thus far in my life...maybe it's because I can taste again.
Recognizing you're an addict, smoking pork and a don't tread on me flag. This guy has his shit together. Good to be quit with you.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: jaygib on May 31, 2011, 07:51:00 AM
nice Dante
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Nolaq on May 31, 2011, 09:58:00 AM
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Dante
BBQ conversation yesterday: 

Al: So...when the baby is born, are you gonna buy cigars for everyone?

Me: Nope

Al: You can have one cigar in November...cantcha?

Me: Not for me

Al:  Come on...no big deal...

Me: NO, I CAN NEVER have Nicotine in any form ever again.  I am an addict and will always be an addict.  Nicotine for me is like alcohol for an alcoholic or heroin for a junkie.

Moment of clarity...thank you KTC community!

P.S.  the smoked pulled pork was my best work thus far in my life...maybe it's because I can taste again.
Recognizing you're an addict, smoking pork and a don't tread on me flag. This guy has his shit together. Good to be quit with you.
Amen. Dante is my new quit Hero.

'clap'
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on May 31, 2011, 07:38:00 PM
Quote from: noonelikesaquitter
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Dante
BBQ conversation yesterday: 

Al: So...when the baby is born, are you gonna buy cigars for everyone?

Me: Nope

Al: You can have one cigar in November...cantcha?

Me: Not for me

Al:  Come on...no big deal...

Me: NO, I CAN NEVER have Nicotine in any form ever again.  I am an addict and will always be an addict.  Nicotine for me is like alcohol for an alcoholic or heroin for a junkie.

Moment of clarity...thank you KTC community!

P.S.  the smoked pulled pork was my best work thus far in my life...maybe it's because I can taste again.
Recognizing you're an addict, smoking pork and a don't tread on me flag. This guy has his shit together. Good to be quit with you.
Amen. Dante is my new quit Hero.

'clap'
Thanks...all you quitters are my heroes.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on June 04, 2011, 08:20:00 PM
Got into a really dark mood this afternoon (not a crave, more like low blood sugar), hadn't eaten in a while. My mood improved after dinner. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When will my body self adjust to being off the shit? Anybody else still going through this at 3+ weeks?
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dchogs on June 04, 2011, 09:02:00 PM
I'm still getting cranky and get some cases of the blahs, but I would get those in between dips anyway. Lol
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on June 17, 2011, 03:50:00 PM
Thanks to all of you who were looking for me today...guess I got bumped when I posted. Day 39 and feeling fine.

I'm in NC at my fathers place, visiting. He's a smoker, and I'm having nonstop craves. Thankfully...I have plenty of dentyne ice and the power of the promise I made to all of you this morning. No matter what happens...I will NOT use nicotine today.

I know you all won't either. Stay quit and stay strong.

-Dante
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Souliman on June 17, 2011, 06:46:00 PM
Quote from: Dante
Thanks to all of you who were looking for me today...guess I got bumped when I posted. Day 39 and feeling fine.

I'm in NC at my fathers place, visiting. He's a smoker, and I'm having nonstop craves. Thankfully...I have plenty of dentyne ice and the power of the promise I made to all of you this morning. No matter what happens...I will NOT use nicotine today.

I know you all won't either. Stay quit and stay strong.

-Dante
You're a fucking champion Dante. Hang in there brother. Fight the NB. I can tell you got "crazy mad huge quitting nuts", you'll be strong.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on July 04, 2011, 05:03:00 PM
56 Days...

Couple of things I've learned in 56 days:

1) Dip is messy. Finally got around to detailing my car this weekend and there was dried tobacco worked into every crack and crevice, not to mention the dried spit in the door jambs from emergency spitting at traffic lights without a good spitter. Gross. Really...how could I not see how nasty and unsanitary that was? The car is finally clean now, and so is it's driver, after 17 years.

2) I miss my wife today. She's out at the beach today with her friend. 57 Days ago, this would have been awesome...dip nirvana. A whole day alone to do as I please, uninterrupted. Just me and the NB. But I sit here on my sunny deck with the dog at my feet and a nice tall icy Arnold Palmer and wonder about what was wrong with me? How I could have really enjoyed my wife's absence. GOD DAMN DRUGS... Nic Bitch had me convinced that I'd rather spend time with her, than with the beautiful, selfless and caring woman that I MARRIED. Dumb.

3) I don't really know who I am without Nicotine yet. I know I don't want anymore nicotine, but I still reach for something (now it's gum) every time I'm bored, driving, drinking coffee, at BBQs, yardwork etc. Can I kick the oral fixation...or am I just too set in my ways to be able to move on? I've been drinking more caffeine lately. Wondering if this is my substitution of one substance for another...

4) I'm blaming myself for my little sister's smoking. I recently found out that she smokes. She's 21, 15 years younger than me. When she was a little kid, I still lived at home. She was the cutest, most love-able little kid, my little buddy. I tried to hide my smoking, to shelter her from it. I never did it in front of her. After dinner I would go outside to "check the oil in my car" or to see "what the weather is like". Now she is an adult. She drinks and smokes. I am so disappointed for her. I'm afraid that she is going to go right down the same path that I've been on. I don't want to see her struggle. I'm going to have a long talk with her, and maybe if the stars align...I can get through to her.

5) This site is saving my life daily: the help, support and advice.. Hope I'm helping some of you as well.

Stay Quit,

Dante
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: per034 on July 04, 2011, 08:18:00 PM
Quote from: Dante

5) This site is saving my life daily: the help, support and advice.. Hope I'm helping some of you as well.
This site is saving me too, Dante. And so are you.

Proud to be quit with you.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: LLCope on July 05, 2011, 07:10:00 AM
Dante,

You are doing great. Thanks for your inspiration!

I am also discovering who I am without nicotine. I am discovering it is an opportunity to remake who I am and improve.


LL
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Scowick65 on July 05, 2011, 08:43:00 AM
Dante,

I am so glad you found us. You add a lot to this site. Keep it up. PM me if you ever need something.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Souliman on July 05, 2011, 08:51:00 AM
I'm glad you're here and glad to be quit with you.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dchogs on July 05, 2011, 09:57:00 AM
d, great to be quit with you.

awesome post!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on July 17, 2011, 09:17:00 AM
All:

I will be away attending some training for the next two weeks. This type of training was usually very much associated with dipping in my recent past. Here' my plan:

1) Post roll early via the quithead text network or from my phone which I just discovered updated its OS and can now do that. That is my word and it means everything to me, and I will not cave. But...just in case the craves get out of control...

2) I have numbers of a ton of quit brothers and sisters to use as needed.

3) I have two unopened cans of smokey mountain with me, which I intend to return with...still unopened.

4) I will be seeking out a computer in the evening to jump on chat.

I will be successful because I AM quit. Stay quit everyone!
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Souliman on July 17, 2011, 09:29:00 AM
Dante I applaud you. You are a man of your word and a man of conviction.

I had thought this prior to your last post as well.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: Scowick65 on July 17, 2011, 10:00:00 AM
All things are created twice. Meaning, before there is a cave, there is a plan to cave. In Dante's world, before there is quit, there is a plan. Cookie for Dante. Very, very well done. Very cool. I quit with you brother.
Title: Re: Quit 3 weeks ago, just found you guys
Post by: dante on July 30, 2011, 08:59:00 AM
Quote from: Dante
All:

I will be away attending some training for the next two weeks.  This type of training was usually very much associated with dipping in my recent past.  Here' my plan:

1) Post roll early via the quithead text network or from my phone which I just discovered updated its OS and can now do that.  That is my word and it means everything to me, and I will not cave.  But...just in case the craves get out of control...

2) I have numbers of a ton of quit brothers and sisters to use as needed.

3) I have two unopened cans of smokey mountain with me, which I intend to return with...still unopened.

4) I will be seeking out a computer in the evening to jump on chat.

I will be successful because I AM quit.  Stay quit everyone!
Update...Day 82

Returning from training...and I followed my plan successfully. It was a good thing that I brought that Smokey Mountain with me. Turns out that the 70-80s funk hit me pretty hard and everyone in training was a dipper, including the instructors.

Nevertheless, I am quit today, thanks to this site, HAVING A PLAN in place before the craves, and all of you. Looking forward to getting back home and back involved on the site. See you all bright and early tomorrow.

Stay Quit,

-Dante