KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Dyno on January 06, 2014, 02:29:00 PM
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Hello - I guess some background is appropriate. I'm 42 years old. I started chewing leaf tobacco when I was 12 (I read an "uncle" story on here that is all too familiar) and started dipping Hawken and Gold River (anyone remember that crap?) shortly after that. It wasn't long before I was playing with the big boys because at that age "real men dipped skoal/copenhagen." I was raised in the mid-west, worked at a livestock salebarn for a few years in my early youth, and almost all the men that we boys looked up to smoked or dipped or both ... not to lay blame on them, but is it any wonder that it was so easy to pick up and keep a bad habit? Tobacco laws either did not exist or were not enforced because I can remember buying my own dip at the neighborhood corner store (for about a buck per can) ... while I was picking up a pack of smokes for my mom.
I dipped for 23 years and finally managed to quit in 2005 with surprisingly little problem. I had gotten sick with the flu or some other bug, and of course it was hard to dip with a throat full of sandpaper. My gums hurt, my inner lip looked very similar to shredded beef, and every dip burned. I found that while I only went through a tin every 2 days, I felt like I constantly had a dip in my mouth. With the flu, I finally decided that the pain from dipping was worse than the cravings ... so I threw my last 1/2 can of copenstinkin in the trash and went cold turkey for 5 years (with a fair amount of help from God I'm certain.) The first few days were a bit miserable, but after that I really never considered buying another can.
Fast-forward to 2010 after a nasty little fight with my wife. I was pissed, I stopped to get some gas and a soda, and out of the blue bought a can because "I just needed something quick to take the edge off." Almost ZERO consideration for the 5 years of sobriety I had just enjoyed. So putting all the minor gradations aside, I am once again pretty much a full-time user ... here, in fact, I sit now wanting to pack a wad into my BHHL (that's burning-hamburger-helper-lip for the curious.)
I want to quit and I know I need to quit for any of a hundred good reasons but I can't help but feel like I'm not going to get off so easy this time. I came across this site after an internet search ... and here I am. Good to meet you!
-Dyno
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Welcome Dino. Click on the salmony "Welcome Center" up above and learn a little about what we do here. Those fucking sale barns....nothing like a greasy burger, a coke, and lip full of cancer. I was 17 when I was at the sale barns.
Few pointers
1. Post Roll Every Day. You are in April 2014. April is always the baddestmotherfuckingest group on this site. Ask anyone...
2. Keep your word. Don't put cancer dirt or Nic Candy in your hamburger helper lip that day. Period.
3. Interact. Get involved. Make some friends. Quitting is frightening and fantastical at the same time.
4. Repeat. Every Day. Without Fail. No Excuses.
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I know a little about your story. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5715)
When i came back in 2011, I was a fucking mess. My friend passed away the first week of my quit. My wife rolled her eyes and sarcastically told people I was quit again. Physically, I was a mess. But the first time I stopped, I was numb to the world at the time.
Here's the thing: You've tasted freedom more than most people here. You know how good it can be, and how easy it is to go from freedom to slave "with just one". Many people think they're stronger as time goes on, but we're still that same damn addict once we reintroduce the stuff.
Stick to the site. Surround yourself with quitters that will reel you back in if you should think about straying. Make some friends, and stay in touch with them. If you want to be quit...be quit.
You can do this.
I know because I am. (922 days and haven't missed a roll yet.)
Questions?
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Well... you came to the right place m'man. I won't rail at you for pissing away 5 years. It's been said that we are all $5 and a bad decision away from the same fate! Get yourself on up to the Welcome Center link at the top of the page. It's explains how and why we do things here. You will belong to the April quit group... you will hit your 100 day milestone in that month. Welcome in bro...
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I know a little about your story. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5715)
When i came back in 2011, I was a fucking mess. My friend passed away the first week of my quit. My wife rolled her eyes and sarcastically told people I was quit again. Physically, I was a mess. But the first time I stopped, I was numb to the world at the time.
Here's the thing: You've tasted freedom more than most people here. You know how good it can be, and how easy it is to go from freedom to slave "with just one". Many people think they're stronger as time goes on, but we're still that same damn addict once we reintroduce the stuff.
Stick to the site. Surround yourself with quitters that will reel you back in if you should think about straying. Make some friends, and stay in touch with them. If you want to be quit...be quit.
You can do this.
I know because I am. (922 days and haven't missed a roll yet.)
Questions?
Thanks for the welcome. What is H.O.F.?
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I know a little about your story. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5715)
When i came back in 2011, I was a fucking mess. My friend passed away the first week of my quit. My wife rolled her eyes and sarcastically told people I was quit again. Physically, I was a mess. But the first time I stopped, I was numb to the world at the time.
Here's the thing: You've tasted freedom more than most people here. You know how good it can be, and how easy it is to go from freedom to slave "with just one". Many people think they're stronger as time goes on, but we're still that same damn addict once we reintroduce the stuff.
Stick to the site. Surround yourself with quitters that will reel you back in if you should think about straying. Make some friends, and stay in touch with them. If you want to be quit...be quit.
You can do this.
I know because I am. (922 days and haven't missed a roll yet.)
Questions?
Thanks for the welcome. What is H.O.F.?
HOF = Hall of Fame. It is when you hit 100 days consecutive quit.
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I know a little about your story. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5715)
When i came back in 2011, I was a fucking mess. My friend passed away the first week of my quit. My wife rolled her eyes and sarcastically told people I was quit again. Physically, I was a mess. But the first time I stopped, I was numb to the world at the time.
Here's the thing: You've tasted freedom more than most people here. You know how good it can be, and how easy it is to go from freedom to slave "with just one". Many people think they're stronger as time goes on, but we're still that same damn addict once we reintroduce the stuff.
Stick to the site. Surround yourself with quitters that will reel you back in if you should think about straying. Make some friends, and stay in touch with them. If you want to be quit...be quit.
You can do this.
I know because I am. (922 days and haven't missed a roll yet.)
Questions?
Thanks for the welcome. What is H.O.F.?
HOF=Hall of Fame
We celebrate 100 days clean by posting a speech about our journey to that point. It's usually a thank you as well to our supporters and inspirations. We call it the Hall of Fame (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=9). (100 days is an arbitrary amount of days. It's pretty badass to get to it, but it doesn't mean crap if you have to post day 1 again later.)