KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Atown on January 06, 2017, 11:05:00 PM
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My last dumbass dip for dipshits was Friday Dec 30 2016. I found this site Wednesday Jan 4 2017, never been here before. I have already gotten a'lot out of the speeches and other information here, I get it. I like the concept of hating the bitch can Nic killer whore. How much i lost thru the years by being a fucken slave! I will be 47 this year and I was chewing by the time I was a freshman in High School, DISGUSTING! Too Long a yuck mouth, but thats over now for GOOD! Im in this Bitch to win.
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My last dumbass dip for dipshits was Friday Dec 30 2016. I found this site Wednesday Jan 4 2017, never been here before. I have already gotten a'lot out of the speeches and other information here, I get it. I like the concept of hating the bitch can Nic killer whore. How much i lost thru the years by being a fucken slave! I will be 47 this year and I was chewing by the time I was a freshman in High School, DISGUSTING! Too Long a yuck mouth, but thats over now for GOOD! Im in this Bitch to win.
Welcome 1ACInMth. You've made a great decision to quit! Go to your quit group and post up roll. We take our quit one day at a time here. You will be in the April quit group. I see you've already posted roll today so great job! We post roll every day here. Roll is our promise to not use nicotine in any form for the day. The system here is pretty simple. Wake up, post roll, keep word, repeat. Proud to quit with you today!
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My last dumbass dip for dipshits was Friday Dec 30 2016. I found this site Wednesday Jan 4 2017, never been here before. I have already gotten a'lot out of the speeches and other information here, I get it. I like the concept of hating the bitch can Nic killer whore. How much i lost thru the years by being a fucken slave! I will be 47 this year and I was chewing by the time I was a freshman in High School, DISGUSTING! Too Long a yuck mouth, but thats over now for GOOD! Im in this Bitch to win.
Firstly, let me introduce myself. My name is Jim; nicotine-clean since 11 November 2016.
Secondly, I am compelled to point out that I really like your spirit. It sounds to me as though you've already won your parole from NicoPrison (see my signature for more info on that one). No more yuck mouth for either of us, uh? ;o)
Thirdly, I suggest you find your home group and start posting roll. The reason why posting roll is so important is because it's a promise not to use nicotine that day. Please don't think of it as 'punching in' or answering to a superior officer; we're all equals here. It's us making a pact to each other that we will stay nicotine-free that day.
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Thanks rsnftw, proud to be quit with you today. I read your intro and also a post about a weird dream involving a cousin you tripped up. Weird thing is my older cousins BF gave me my first Skoal dip on the Ortega hwy. It was kind of a manhood challenge i Guess, Big challenge considering that mountain pass and my propensity for car sickness. How could I not take the challenge?, I mean I had to prove my manhood here in this situation... I handled it ok but ,,,,,What a fucked up System! I was a dipper after that day.
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I need to log some things because my memory is crap. Lately I have been buying whatever is in the box. In Ca. my chew of choice (for a total dumbshit of course) was cope long or snuff, your lookin at 7 $. The crap in the box is a trial offer! well whoopti fucken doo , i can get four cans of grizz or cope mint wintergreen for around 8$ more!!! Now im covered for a few days and theres soo many exciting combinations at my fingertips!!! My after coffee fav was a fat snuff upper, with a full lower jaw griizz wintergreen! Boy O Boy, theres nothing like trying to kill yourself every morning to make you really FEEL ALIVE!
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Hey Jim, thanks for reaching out. In the past 30 years i had several years where i was off the shit, like totally done, didn't think about it, wasn't tempted around it, but one little flip moment and i was back worse as ever, every time. Your right on about posting roll every day. Every day remember that Bitch wants to rot out your tongue and kill you slow and gruesome. Any smoke or chew and your the sucker, period!!!
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On day 5 i ordered some fake chew online, the Triumph without any crackhead shit in it. On day 6 I was late to work because I had to find a market that sold some herbal substitute. I bought 3 cans of Hooch. It totally helps, when the O shit moment hits. Thru the years Ive tried some of the herbals and It has definitely gotten better.
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Hey Jim, thanks for reaching out. In the past 30 years i had several years where i was off the shit, like totally done, didn't think about it, wasn't tempted around it, but one little flip moment and i was back worse as ever, every time. Your right on about posting roll every day. Every day remember that Bitch wants to rot out your tongue and kill you slow and gruesome. Any smoke or chew and your the sucker, period!!!
It is always my pleasure to reach out to another recent parolee from NicoPrison. ;o)
At any rate, I hope you got the posting roll thing down. It will help your quit more than you can know.
That said, I should point out that nicotine is only a chemical with an IQ of zero. It is incapable of thinking, plotting, or planning. Retaining parole from NicoPrison is a matter of being smarter, not stronger. Good thing for us that we have something nicotine doesn't - a brain - and we can use that brain to reason things out.
The mantra I use for handling a crave is 'I never use nicotine now'. See, it's always now, right? It was now when I wrote this; it'll be now when you read this. So...I never use nicotine now. Later is in the Deity's hands, but for now...no nicotine in any form.
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Wrapping up Day 11. I have about 1 can of hooch left. Its definitely making things easier for me at this point. The mental game is really cranking up now, and it just helps to throw some fake chew in when I normally would be really craving, after coffee , after meals , etc. I havent received my order of the Victory stuff yet but i'm hoping its soon and its good. The fake stuff is really helping me to not panic and obsess about a dip. Im not to the romantical stage yet, when your forget about how nasty and unhealthy Chew is. Im pretty sure I have chronic Hypertension now from being in a vasoconstricted nicotine state all the damn time. How badass is that? Im staying pissed and staying quit.
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Wrapping up Day 11. I have about 1 can of hooch left. Its definitely making things easier for me at this point. The mental game is really cranking up now, and it just helps to throw some fake chew in when I normally would be really craving, after coffee , after meals , etc. I havent received my order of the Victory stuff yet but i'm hoping its soon and its good. The fake stuff is really helping me to not panic and obsess about a dip. Im not to the romantical stage yet, when your forget about how nasty and unhealthy Chew is. Im pretty sure I have chronic Hypertension now from being in a vasoconstricted nicotine state all the damn time. How badass is that? Im staying pissed and staying quit.
how does this work...
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My freaking nic deprived mind is really twisted thats all i can say. My addicted alter ego is already plotting against me I can just sense it.
Im right where I belong. Ain't happening tobacco 'finger point'
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My freaking nic deprived mind is really twisted thats all i can say. My addicted alter ego is already plotting against me I can just sense it.
Im right where I belong. Ain't happening tobacco 'finger point'
Stay focused brother! Just stay quit for the rest of the day and worry about tmrw, tmrw! It gets better. Go chug a water and go for a walk!
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My freaking nic deprived mind is really twisted thats all i can say. My addicted alter ego is already plotting against me I can just sense it.
Im right where I belong. Ain't happening tobacco 'finger point'
You're winning. Especially when you realize that this is more than "not using," you'll be way ahead. Quitting rules. Using sucks. Simple as that. Keep it up bud!
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My freaking nic deprived mind is really twisted thats all i can say. My addicted alter ego is already plotting against me I can just sense it.
Im right where I belong. Ain't happening tobacco 'finger point'
You're working it buddy....keep on quitting. I can tell you a little about the things to come. The initial mind games and rage and fog were definitely hard. However, for me, the hardest pat thus far has been what's came after 20-25 days. For me, it's been intense cravings and a damn near constant romantic state when thinking about dip. I'm 72 days in and still at times finding myself thinking...oh hey this situation was so much better when I dipped. I seen a guy at the gas station a couple weeks back buy a can of dip...two actually...and I was a little jealous. Got the butterflies in my stomach since I was next in line. Didn't cave, but driving away I got to thinking about how I romanticize the shit. It's a mental game for sure. It's persisted longer than I expected. However, my father, who quit Levi Garrett pouch tobacco cold turkey about 15 years ago, said he still gets the occasional craving that can be pretty intense. He's used gum for all these years and still pops a piece when the nic bitch gets in his head. You're off to a good start man, stay strong!
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Thanks for all the feedback Brothers. Im in the fog again, zombie mode, I cant really stay focused on one thing for too long before I catch myself spacing out.
Last night I didn't have my usual few servings of alcohol after work. I decided I need to cut that way back, just been feeling like shit physically and the drinks are not helping. I talked to my wife about that, and I told her I had been using chew , but I quit and that I had also found this site. What a wonderful woman I married last year, she was just happy I opened up to her about it.
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The chew door is SHUT!!!! Every morning I am reaffirming that and promising to keep it that way. For me closing the door helps deal with any craving, because there just is no option, pop in a fake one, and deal with it. Theres no arguing, or bargaining with my self this way, Its just not going to happen, period. 18 days now so yeah, I have some confidence, but thanks to this site and experiences stopping on my own (too many to remember) I have the key ingredient or knowledge I should say. And that is beware of overconfidence, or complacency.
I still have not had a drink so its been 7 days. My wife and I were going to hike to some waterfalls this weekend, I was feeling all good about getting healthy and in shape again and them WHAM, sore throat followed by head cold from Hell!! Isn't life ironic some times, probably just coincidence, but damn I had some good momentum going and needed that weekend out. O well, theres always a lesson to learn, maybe I need patience right now.
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Note to self.
In a few months , or years when your little addict mind comes out of hiding and whispers something like "hey old pal remember me? How bout just one can for old times sake? Its the perfect reunion weekend for us to reminisce on the water, or in the woods on the trails"
Remember this future me, remember that lately since just before you quit you would take a chew out and put a fresh one in, over and over, with no satisfaction just a feeling of being poisoned and in prison. Sometimes soon after putting in a lipper you would start pushing it around in your gums, trying to find a spot that it could settle into, without that feeling you have to spit it out because your body is rejecting it... YOU ARE TOXIC !!!! DUMBASSS!!!!
O yeah don't forget how that morning chew would sometimes make your whole body convulse and shudder, and you would wretch. (not that it would stop you of course) Your body is very smart, and programmed to nurture and serve itself, Its your mind that is sick and deranged whenever it says "you like chew".
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Day 29. I been really gripped with RAGE, till a few days ago. Got me to thinking why does this time seem so much harder? I have stopped dipping for this long many times in the past. Besides the fact that every time you fail it gets harder I came up with the idea that in the past I would try and just forget about the NB. And looking back it was almost like she let me have my break, Damn well knowing she was gonna kick the door in whenever she wanted. I can hear her saying "Awe thats so cute!, you think were over haha well you just take some time then and Ill let you know when your times up" The difference this time is that with KTC you make your promise every day and stare that bitch down the entire time. Instead of just trying to forget about chew, this time I am dealing with the root issue. Who's stalking who now Bitch?
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Day 57. Still rockin the Jedi Mind Trick. For me that means "I don't chew, I don't want to chew, I hate nicotine because its a toxic poison, why would I suck on that shit?"
Theres a saying I have applied several times in my life when my career changed, "FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT". With KTC i'm making the above my true mind set. The kool-aid here is loaded with nutrients, Promising others I quit with them each day works. Dare I say my knuckles are not that white lately....
I don't miss killing myself either. I have been checking my Blood pressure 3,4 times a day, i'm still stage 1 borderline 2, but tonight was the best its been since I quit.
Hallelujah! Quit On and On Brothers and Sisters!
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Day 60, IN the words of William Wallace. FREEDOM!!!! Thats how i"m feeling these days. Just realized I have been at work for 8 hours so far today and I have not used the Fake. I have some, I just haven't even thought of it. PROPS to KTC April Wrecking Fools 'oh yeah'
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EAT THAT BREAD
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