KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: greg2011 on January 01, 2011, 06:57:00 PM
-
I've been trying to quit for a while and set today as the. At 11:00 pm CST it will be 24 hours since my last dip. I feel INSANE right now. I want to eat, fight, and that other F-word. I'm blaring death metal, dipping that mint stuff that's supposed to make me feel better, and just feel absolutely, inconsolably crazy.
I'm quitting because I've been dipping since I was sixteen and I'm now 27. I began practicing law in October and dipping is not something people really want to see their attorney doing, and my coworkers have made comments. I've been sneaking in my office and shutting the door because I can't go three hours without one. The times I'm in court are awful, especially when I don't get a lunch break to sneak around the corner and get a quick one in. Further, my wife and I are planning to get pregnant this year and I really don't want to have a kid and then get mouth cancer.
Frankly, I have no idea how I'm going to get through these next few days. I've been dipping a can a day since I started law school and now I'm rolling cold turkey.
-
I understand.
Welcome. Check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen.
-
I understand.
Welcome. Check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen.
been right where you are.....walked the same path.
Read, read read....you will survive. we have all walked the path you have before you. One foot in front of the other. Crave by crave, day by day, battle by battle.
Celebrate your decision and each victory....they all matter.
-
You are going to get through this by following Ready's links, posting roll early everyday, keeping that promise for 24 hours, then repeating. Don't worry about tomorrow or the next few days, just concentrate on right now.
Read everything you can here, HOF speeches, Words of Wisdom, the old quit groups......everything. Most of all, shout if you need anything....you will get more help than you imagine.
-
You are doing great. Look at it this way, you made it through law school, passed the Bar, and you are now an attorney. You've got the will to quit, just like all those other great accomplishments. Just post roll today, and then keep your promise today, and then do it over again tomorrow. PM if you need anything.
-
You are going to be ok man trust me. Something that helps me is everytime I have a cravings I make myself take 5 minutes and I come to this site, read some stories, check out the mouth cancer photos this helps me very much I always end up calming down after that. Stay strong it will get better.
-
You will be fine. We have all been where you are. That is the magic of this place. Everything you will go through has been documented and people will fall over themselves to help you if you ask.
And.... you have a GREAT name.
-
I screwed up eleven months into my quit last time. Threw away eleven months and went back to a can a day almost immediately. Today's day one and I won't cave this time.
-
I screwed up eleven months into my quit last time. Threw away eleven months and went back to a can a day almost immediately. Today's day one and I won't cave this time.
Oh really?
And we believe you because....
1. How did you fail?
2. Why did you fail?
3. What are you going to do to keep from failing again? (hint: 42 posts is not a good number)
-
I screwed up eleven months into my quit last time. Threw away eleven months and went back to a can a day almost immediately. Today's day one and I won't cave this time.
Oh really?
And we believe you because....
1. How did you fail?
2. Why did you fail?
3. What are you going to do to keep from failing again? (hint: 42 posts is not a good number)
It's been 15 min, you haven't posted roll yet in December. That would be a good first start.
-
I screwed up eleven months into my quit last time. Threw away eleven months and went back to a can a day almost immediately. Today's day one and I won't cave this time.
Oh really?
And we believe you because....
1. How did you fail?
2. Why did you fail?
3. What are you going to do to keep from failing again? (hint: 42 posts is not a good number)
It's been 15 min, you haven't posted roll yet in December. That would be a good first start.
Greg posted roll but got bumped, i saw the bump but got sidetracked with my day job.
-
I screwed up eleven months into my quit last time. Threw away eleven months and went back to a can a day almost immediately. Today's day one and I won't cave this time.
I'm guessing you failed because you quit posting roll. So get back in there, post roll, swap numbers or whatever you have to do. Read the Tom Jenny Kern story again. There is no way you could have failed if you had taken this seriously. C'mon, bro. You're better than that.
-
Sorry for the delay. As for the reason I screwed up, it's an excuse, but I was waiting on a jury where my guy was looking at life on something he was not guilty of. Hours passed and I pussed out and sent my investigator to get me a can. I thought I could just have one or two while I waited but the next day I finished the can and it went from there. It was a total cop out and eleven months in I shouldn't have done it.
This place got me through last time and I'll be in here a lot. I'm writing this sitting in court with my head on fire and feel like I'm going crazy.
-
Sorry for the delay. As for the reason I screwed up, it's an excuse, but I was waiting on a jury where my guy was looking at life on something he was not guilty of. Hours passed and I pussed out and sent my investigator to get me a can. I thought I could just have one or two while I waited but the next day I finished the can and it went from there. It was a total cop out and eleven months in I shouldn't have done it.
This place got me through last time and I'll be in here a lot. I'm writing this sitting in court with my head on fire and feel like I'm going crazy.
Wait a second - you know your cave started when you sent the stooge out for your drug of choice, right? Not the next day, when the can is empty. That is crystal clear to you? You could have called him back and said forget it, chucked that can when he handed it to you, or even thrown that first dip in the trash instead of in your lip. And at any point here while "hours passed", you could have tried calling or texting someone here, or at the very least reading your cave plan or introduction (print it out!).
"But Your Honor, I am not guilty of this murder. I only broke in and tied his hands together, Tex was the one that stabbed him!"
'chain'
Also, Wedge asked you three questions, and I do not believe you answered all three. Maybe you are busy right this minute. It is day 1. Think it through, and please answer each of the questions seriously, and you might be taken seriously. Thanks.
-
Sorry for the delay. As for the reason I screwed up, it's an excuse, but I was waiting on a jury where my guy was looking at life on something he was not guilty of. Hours passed and I pussed out and sent my investigator to get me a can. I thought I could just have one or two while I waited but the next day I finished the can and it went from there. It was a total cop out and eleven months in I shouldn't have done it.
This place got me through last time and I'll be in here a lot. I'm writing this sitting in court with my head on fire and feel like I'm going crazy.
Nicotine will never make any situation better. It will only make you a slave.
-
Thought Ianswered all three but here it is. I failed because in a moment of stress I decided on the easy path, rationalizing that it had been so long that a few wouldn't matter, rather than checking in here. The how it happened is clear. The plan going forward is to check in here more than ladt time and for longer rather than spacing when the quit got easy.
-
Thought Ianswered all three but here it is. I failed because in a moment of stress I decided on the easy path, rationalizing that it had been so long that a few wouldn't matter, rather than checking in here. The how it happened is clear. The plan going forward is to check in here more than ladt time and for longer rather than spacing when the quit got easy.
How about posting roll and promising everyday instead of "checking in" every now and then to let us know how good you've been doing on your own? Maybe some accountability thrown in there? Just a thought. Because I really don't give a shit about people that "check in."
-
There is no justification for caving...none. Greg knows that. The important thing is that he is back here posting roll. I'm not apologizing for him...he was an arrogant dumbass for not posting roll and thinking that he could go it alone. But Greg knows that, too.
I'm not saying to take it light on him. But, in my opnion, he gave us his justification/excuse. Excuses are like assholes...everyone's got one and they all stink. No bones about it...he failed. He knows it. Maybe he'll buy into the whole program this time instead of foolishly thinking that he can be a checker-inner and not have to post roll each day. Maybe he learned from this? If he didn't, he can go finger-fuck himself in the mouth. But now it is time for him to become a daily roll poster and take this shit a little more seriously. I think we can help him do that if he meets us half way and posts roll every day.
-
I don't think you have this.
You know why?
Because I don't have this. It's why i've come here everyday for the last 435 days. When left to our own devices, we will fail. I had a comma once and I didn't know it.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".
In order to be quit, you have to want this more than anything else in your life. You need to remember what you are in times of good and bad, and you need to embrace it.
Want this. Own this.
-
I don't think you have this.
You know why?
Because I don't have this. It's why i've come here everyday for the last 435 days. When left to our own devices, we will fail. I had a comma once and I didn't know it.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".
In order to be quit, you have to want this more than anything else in your life. You need to remember what you are in times of good and bad, and you need to embrace it.
Want this. Own this.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".
This is why I'm back. I'm not trying to sound casual, because I'm miserable right now. My head's on fire, I've got the fog as bad as ever and that's not a good thing for me to have at work. I just know that I can get through this really shit part, because I've done it before (with the support here). I got feeling good after a miserable couple of weeks and stopped thinking I need the daily accountability. Nearly a year later I think I'm fine to handle a couple and I'm not. I can't tolerate any level of tobacco usage or I'm going to be back hooked immediately.
Anyway, people can be pissed if they want, but I'm only here when I'm serious. I didn't make excuses last time and kept my word while I was here. And when I screwed up, I stayed away.
-
I don't think you have this.
You know why?
Because I don't have this. It's why i've come here everyday for the last 435 days. When left to our own devices, we will fail. I had a comma once and I didn't know it.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".Â
In order to be quit, you have to want this more than anything else in your life. You need to remember what you are in times of good and bad, and you need to embrace it.Â
Want this. Own this.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".
This is why I'm back. I'm not trying to sound casual, because I'm miserable right now. My head's on fire, I've got the fog as bad as ever and that's not a good thing for me to have at work. I just know that I can get through this really shit part, because I've done it before (with the support here). I got feeling good after a miserable couple of weeks and stopped thinking I need the daily accountability. Nearly a year later I think I'm fine to handle a couple and I'm not. I can't tolerate any level of tobacco usage or I'm going to be back hooked immediately.
Anyway, people can be pissed if they want, but I'm only here when I'm serious. I didn't make excuses last time and kept my word while I was here. And when I screwed up, I stayed away.
So....you don't plan on staying here full time? You have times when you AREN'T serious about quitting? If you aren't planning on sticking around and posting roll everyday, stop wasting our time and go litigate somewhere else.
-
Thought Ianswered all three but here it is. I failed because in a moment of stress I decided on the easy path, rationalizing that it had been so long that a few wouldn't matter, rather than checking in here. The how it happened is clear. The plan going forward is to check in here more than ladt time and for longer rather than spacing when the quit got easy.
Yes, this is a succinct answer that avoids telling the reader very much, and allows them to infer what they might want to or need to from it.
I expect, for myself at least, some particulars here, especially about the new quit plan. I am not sure what your quit plan was the last time, so comparing your new one to it isn't very useful to me, but in any case I know it did not work for you, so maybe you can just explain the details of a new one.
"The plan going forward is to check in here more than ladt time and for longer rather than spacing when the quit got easy."
That could mean you are going to post roll every morning, putting your quit first a day at a time, every day. If that is the case, you might keep that promise throughout the day, and you might understand what kind of loss it is if you do not.
It might also mean you have this KTC thing going on, and you feel you can post on it when it is convenient for you. Maybe that makes you feel better: you are doing something about tobacco addiction.
Trouble is, doing something might not be a thing that works. It might even be in the way of doing something that does work, for a lot of people. That something, is pretty much laid out in each of these 7 threads. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13)
The last part is kinda strange - "...more often and longer"? The periodicity that seems to work is pretty constant: daily. The duration is not fixed, but most people go for a minimum of 100 consecutive days. Sorry if my brain is spongy, but can clear up what you meant?
Sorry if I am coming across as a hardass, I just want to see you do what you said today you wanted to do, and if there is a kinder gentler way you have discovered, I would like to learn that myself.
-
I don't think you have this.
You know why?
Because I don't have this. It's why i've come here everyday for the last 435 days. When left to our own devices, we will fail. I had a comma once and I didn't know it.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".Â
In order to be quit, you have to want this more than anything else in your life. You need to remember what you are in times of good and bad, and you need to embrace it.Â
Want this. Own this.
This happened because you are an addict that still thinks he "has this".
This is why I'm back. I'm not trying to sound casual, because I'm miserable right now. My head's on fire, I've got the fog as bad as ever and that's not a good thing for me to have at work. I just know that I can get through this really shit part, because I've done it before (with the support here). I got feeling good after a miserable couple of weeks and stopped thinking I need the daily accountability. Nearly a year later I think I'm fine to handle a couple and I'm not. I can't tolerate any level of tobacco usage or I'm going to be back hooked immediately.
Anyway, people can be pissed if they want, but I'm only here when I'm serious. I didn't make excuses last time and kept my word while I was here. And when I screwed up, I stayed away.
So....you don't plan on staying here full time? You have times when you AREN'T serious about quitting? If you aren't planning on sticking around and posting roll everyday, stop wasting our time and go litigate somewhere else.
Proof is in the pudding. How many times does it have to be laid out here, there is no just one, not for an addict.
None is the key to the life you desire. One is the key to addiction and death. Don't tempt it. Sorry, I just don't get retread talk when they make no concerted effort to do above and beyond what they attempted to do before.
-
Today is very difficult. I am having a very difficult time and can feel the urge in my brain and face and lips. I went in to work for five hours and had some bullshit to deal with. More bullshit came up and just wanted my can to be in that drawer. Just wanted to put music on, put my fucking bare feet on the desk, put a dip in, and tell every client and supervisor in a fifty mile radius to kick rocks and suck cocks. I swear it feels like second dayagain. WTF? I remember this getting easier!
-
Today is very difficult. I am having a very difficult time and can feel the urge in my brain and face and lips. I went in to work for five hours and had some bullshit to deal with. More bullshit came up and just wanted my can to be in that drawer. Just wanted to put music on, put my fucking bare feet on the desk, put a dip in, and tell every client and supervisor in a fifty mile radius to kick rocks and suck cocks. I swear it feels like second dayagain. WTF? I remember this getting easier!
Dude. Eat a dick. You do NOT want a dip. You want assholes to NOT be assholes.
Dip fixes...NOTHING
You will never regret Quitting. You will ALWAYS regret caving.
Don't be a pussy.
-
Today is very difficult. I am having a very difficult time and can feel the urge in my brain and face and lips. I went in to work for five hours and had some bullshit to deal with. More bullshit came up and just wanted my can to be in that drawer. Just wanted to put music on, put my fucking bare feet on the desk, put a dip in, and tell every client and supervisor in a fifty mile radius to kick rocks and suck cocks. I swear it feels like second dayagain. WTF? I remember this getting easier!
Dude. Eat a dick. You do NOT want a dip. You want assholes to NOT be assholes.
Dip fixes...NOTHING
You will never regret Quitting. You will ALWAYS regret caving.
Don't be a pussy.
Do that, and you'll be dealing with those motherfuckers in the morning, and you will not be quit.
My wife and kids were going out shopping yesterday with me home alone with college football. I got that familiar tingle of being able to dip wide open. At 489 days. Shit happens, and you need to be strong.
You cave once, it can be a mistake; do it twice, and it is a pattern.
You know better. Suck it up. Be a man. Stay quit.
-
I appreciate the encouragement. I'm starting to see a pattern as was pointed out. Everytime I get stressed at work I want to put one in. I see the obvious error of that thinking but it appears it's something I'm going to have to be on guard for. Thanks y'all.
-
I appreciate the encouragement. I'm starting to see a pattern as was pointed out. Everytime I get stressed at work I want to put one in. I see the obvious error of that thinking but it appears it's something I'm going to have to be on guard for. Thanks y'all.
Do some reading and learn to control the impulsive nature of your brain. You had it wired that when stress occurred it triggered a reaction to grab a chew. This has to be re-learned by your brain. Instead of reacting to stress in a hurtful way (dip), you need to train your brain to react in a positive manner. You don't keep your hand on an open flame, you do something positive to relieve the stress of a burn. So you must do with this as well.
-
I appreciate the encouragement. I'm starting to see a pattern as was pointed out. Everytime I get stressed at work I want to put one in. I see the obvious error of that thinking but it appears it's something I'm going to have to be on guard for. Thanks y'all.
Stop believing that chew is your courage and helps you deal with stress, it does not fill the void, it creates it. Non nic users do not feel this way. Nic is a powerful posion that over time destroys your nerves. One of the greatest benefits of kicking nicotine is the return of your confidence and self assurance. Just have to give it time and stick with it. I know that sounds easier said then done but its the truth. You can do this and we are all here to help you do it!!!
-
I appreciate the encouragement. I'm starting to see a pattern as was pointed out. Everytime I get stressed at work I want to put one in. I see the obvious error of that thinking but it appears it's something I'm going to have to be on guard for. Thanks y'all.
Stop believing that chew is your courage and helps you deal with stress, it does not fill the void, it creates it. Non nic users do not feel this way. Nic is a powerful posion that over time destroys your nerves. One of the greatest benefits of kicking nicotine is the return of your confidence and self assurance. Just have to give it time and stick with it. I know that sounds easier said then done but its the truth. You can do this and we are all here to help you do it!!!
I have to agree with Diesel there as to a return of feeling strong for yourself as just had a nice situation the other day that I posted in my intro.
Therefore it my have been a pattern, but that pattern has been cut, ripped, torn, burned never to be used again. The mold is broken and you are forming a new one with your quit
stay strong
-
Well, what was the verdict? On your client facing life? Did he walk or is he doin' time???