KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: you can do it on April 09, 2012, 08:53:00 AM
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Just had my last dip this am, fealt as shitty as the last 20 years of dips and for some reason I loved that terrible feeling. I did not know it would be my last as I actually bought two cans- time to go out to the car (which I will do after my post) and through the crap out.
My 100 days will be right before my daughters birthday in August - great motivation.
I will tell myself just give it 15 minutes. I just hope I can be happy and not put my family throught the terrible moodswings. Funny part is I have been putting them through these mood swings all my life.
Can't wait to ask my son to go to Hoome Depot with me - instead of trying to convince him to do something else so daddy can sneak a did.
What an ass - I am done!
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Just had my last dip this am, fealt as shitty as the last 20 years of dips and for some reason I loved that terrible feeling. I did not know it would be my last as I actually bought two cans- time to go out to the car (which I will do after my post) and through the crap out.
My 100 days will be right before my daughters birthday in August - great motivation.
I will tell myself just give it 15 minutes. I just hope I can be happy and not put my family throught the terrible moodswings. Funny part is I have been putting them through these mood swings all my life.
Can't wait to ask my son to go to Hoome Depot with me - instead of trying to convince him to do something else so daddy can sneak a did.
What an ass - I am done!
Good job you can do it yes you can and so can I 1 fricking day at a time. Watch your inbox I'll send ya intro to me
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Congratulations on your decision. It's one you will never regret. But don't be fooled - quitting is not for pussies. It takes balls, determination and a relentless disdain for the nic bitch who's been nagging at you all this time. But if you use the tools you have at your disposal, you can be successful.
Here's everything you need to know about this site:
We quit one day at a time by making a promise each morning that we will not use tobacco IN ANY FORM (dip, cigarettes, cigars, snus or patches/gum) for the day. We stay quit for the day, go to bed and wake up and do the same thing. You make your promise by "posting roll."
The Welcome Center (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) tells you all the basics of how things work around here. WhoDey also has taken the time to develop very informative, step-by-step Instructions for Posting Roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50) to help guide you through posting your promise for the first few days.
Some asides:
1) We don't "try" to quit, or tell others "good luck" in their quits. Again, it's about determination and balls.
2) We don't take kindly to folks who just drop in every couple of days and post. Posting every day is the whole point of why we are here. It's about accountability.
3) Reach out to your brothers via private message and exchange phone numbers. First, this allows you a contact to post roll for you if you can't get to a computer. But more importantly, it allows you a brother to reach out to whenever you get a bad craving or need someone to talk to.
4) Lastly, it is wise to develop a quit plan so you'll know exactly how to handle situations that may arise during your quit.
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Just had my last dip this am, fealt as shitty as the last 20 years of dips and for some reason I loved that terrible feeling. I did not know it would be my last as I actually bought two cans- time to go out to the car (which I will do after my post) and through the crap out.
My 100 days will be right before my daughters birthday in August - great motivation.
I will tell myself just give it 15 minutes. I just hope I can be happy and not put my family throught the terrible moodswings. Funny part is I have been putting them through these mood swings all my life.
Can't wait to ask my son to go to Hoome Depot with me - instead of trying to convince him to do something else so daddy can sneak a did.
What an ass - I am done!
Welcome You!
Congrats on now being quit. Jonathan gave you everything you need, post roll, reach out to other quitters and help them, read. You will get through the pain and fog. Way to go You! I quit with you today brother. Shout if you need anything.
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
Congratulations.
You fucked up and are going to hear it from a lot of dudes over the next few days.
Believe me, I know.
There's a lot of good news buried in this shit though, so listen up and rock it this time.
Plus, check your inbox.
I'm coming at you.
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
Congratulations.
You fucked up and are going to hear it from a lot of dudes over the next few days.
Believe me, I know.
There's a lot of good news buried in this shit though, so listen up and rock it this time.
Plus, check your inbox.
I'm coming at you.
If anyone will understand how tough this is it would be the guys on this site and in these groups!
I can see some guys giving you a mulligan and realizing you must be being honest otherwise why would you come back and own up to it after 1 day and caving!
I can understand how this worked for you and also can understand that you are NOW FULLY COMMITED...... but you will need to show the group that commitment. the way to show that will be to post everyday and really dive into this quit and not cave a second time.....
I am from the May group and I can help you and am here if you need someone to talk you off the ledge so to speak just send me a PM and we can trade the numbers and help you thru what will be the single toughest fight of your life!
Quit on quiter!
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
Congratulations.
You fucked up and are going to hear it from a lot of dudes over the next few days.
Believe me, I know.
There's a lot of good news buried in this shit though, so listen up and rock it this time.
Plus, check your inbox.
I'm coming at you.
If anyone will understand how tough this is it would be the guys on this site and in these groups!
I can see some guys giving you a mulligan and realizing you must be being honest otherwise why would you come back and own up to it after 1 day and caving!
I can understand how this worked for you and also can understand that you are NOW FULLY COMMITED...... but you will need to show the group that commitment. the way to show that will be to post everyday and really dive into this quit and not cave a second time.....
I am from the May group and I can help you and am here if you need someone to talk you off the ledge so to speak just send me a PM and we can trade the numbers and help you thru what will be the single toughest fight of your life!
Quit on quiter!
Yeah - I will post roll call tomorrow - and probably spend the rest of the night just trying to figure out how. tomorrow am is first roll call!
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
You'll post tomorrow? Tomorrow!!?? WTF? Why tomorrow? Is there some super good reason to wait until tomorrow to post roll? If the reason is good enough to keep you from posting today, it will be good enough to keep you from posting a couple of days from now.
POST ROLL NOW!!! KEEP YOUR DAMN WORD!!! REPEAT!!!
On a side note: the deserved beat-down and forthcoming discussion of your commitment that will come after you dragg your ass back to the group is WORTH IT!! It will keep your mind off of dip. It will help you to realize what it will take to quit. It will help you to decide if you are serious about quitting, or just looking to make mom happy.
As your user name suggests, you can do it. But you didn't. Anyone "can" quit. At KTC, we DO quit. Show us you mean it and post roll TODAY.
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
You'll post tomorrow? Tomorrow!!?? WTF? Why tomorrow? Is there some super good reason to wait until tomorrow to post roll? If the reason is good enough to keep you from posting today, it will be good enough to keep you from posting a couple of days from now.
POST ROLL NOW!!! KEEP YOUR DAMN WORD!!! REPEAT!!!
On a side note: the deserved beat-down and forthcoming discussion of your commitment to quitting that will come after you dragging your ass back to the group is WORTH IT!! It will keep your mind of of dip. It will help you to realize what it will take to quit. It will help you to decide if you are serious about quitting.
As your user name suggest, you can do it. But you didn't. Anyone "can" quit. At KTC, we DO quit. Show us you mean it and post roll TODAY.
Fair comments on "you can do it" quote - my take was I was going to post day one when I had really not dipped for over 24 hours - but to your point - do not have to wait -thanks, I can show my commitment today, tomorrow and the next
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Anyone "can" quit. At KTC, we DO quit. Show us you mean it and post roll TODAY.
'clap' absofuckinlutely ... You get it brother ... No Truer Words could be Spoken ...
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Last night was my first night without a dip. It was tough, but I made it. I was sweating in a 69 degree bedroom, shaking. I rolled over and over, but finally I fell asleep. This morning wasn't too bad, but it's all about finding things to take your mind off of it.
You can do it, repeat.
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Is this the NiceGuy person from the chat the other night?
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I am on day one...again - I fell short of 24 hours and gave in to the craving - the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site - and I can anticipate the comments that will probably come from this - but this is what I earned.
To have the feeling of emotional let down, I see the power of what this community has and realize I will need it to quit- I feel like I let down some friends after only one day and a few simple e-mails.
I will post roll call - and I understand that it may take a few days of my real quit before folks believe....but I can do this and I will. I am now about 20 hours since I caved - I will post roll call tomorrow am and officially hit day 1 for the last time.
Congratulations.
You fucked up and are going to hear it from a lot of dudes over the next few days.
Believe me, I know.
There's a lot of good news buried in this shit though, so listen up and rock it this time.
Plus, check your inbox.
I'm coming at you.
**Nice name change there SW**
You better get your shit in order. The is a big difference between Can do and Will do.
Do you have the character and fortitude to do this? You damn sure had it to start stuffing your face.
Show us what you got.
Failure is not an option.
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the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site
Stay quit or haul ass. Your choice. If you fuck up again do not bother posting again. This pisses me off. Upon your request, I will be your quit Sherpa, but I demand 100% full compliance. This is not a game. Shoot me a pm if you wish. We will crush this.
You can do this. It is simply a choice...and you must choose to suffer for some time to regain your freedom. What are you willing to do for freedom?
Read this index.php?showtopic=3861 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3861)
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the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site
Stay quit or haul ass. Your choice. If you fuck up again do not bother posting again. This pisses me off. Upon your request, I will be your quit Sherpa, but I demand 100% full compliance. This is not a game. Shoot me a pm if you wish. We will crush this.
You can do this. It is simply a choice...and you must choose to suffer for some time to regain your freedom. What are you willing to do for freedom?
Read this index.php?showtopic=3861 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3861)
Alright my previous post is harsh. I now see that. That said, this is not a place for failure. I am an addict so i choose to hang around quitters and not cavers. Why? I dont ever want to use again. I will always protect the quit. So, stay and quit or leave. Now, If you want to quit i will help you. I will most definitely.
Start reading the words of wisdom. The section is full of unbelievable nuggets of goodness. As you read, if you connect with someone seek them out. They will help you.
Now, kick some ass 1 day at a time. You can do this.
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the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site
Stay quit or haul ass. Your choice. If you fuck up again do not bother posting again. This pisses me off. Upon your request, I will be your quit Sherpa, but I demand 100% full compliance. This is not a game. Shoot me a pm if you wish. We will crush this.
You can do this. It is simply a choice...and you must choose to suffer for some time to regain your freedom. What are you willing to do for freedom?
Read this index.php?showtopic=3861 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3861)
Alright my previous post is harsh. I now see that. That said, this is not a place for failure. I am an addict so i choose to hang around quitters and not cavers. Why? I dont ever want to use again. I will always protect the quit. So, stay and quit or leave. Now, If you want to quit i will help you. I will most definitely.
Start reading the words of wisdom. The section is full of unbelievable nuggets of goodness. As you read, if you connect with someone seek them out. They will help you.
Now, kick some ass 1 day at a time. You can do this.
OK - day two - lomg car ride today - but no nic. It is great to make that decison up front rather than every fucking mile of 120 mile car trip!
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the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site
Stay quit or haul ass. Your choice. If you fuck up again do not bother posting again. This pisses me off. Upon your request, I will be your quit Sherpa, but I demand 100% full compliance. This is not a game. Shoot me a pm if you wish. We will crush this.
You can do this. It is simply a choice...and you must choose to suffer for some time to regain your freedom. What are you willing to do for freedom?
Read this index.php?showtopic=3861 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3861)
Alright my previous post is harsh. I now see that. That said, this is not a place for failure. I am an addict so i choose to hang around quitters and not cavers. Why? I dont ever want to use again. I will always protect the quit. So, stay and quit or leave. Now, If you want to quit i will help you. I will most definitely.
Start reading the words of wisdom. The section is full of unbelievable nuggets of goodness. As you read, if you connect with someone seek them out. They will help you.
Now, kick some ass 1 day at a time. You can do this.
OK - day two - lomg car ride today - but no nic. It is great to make that decison up front rather than every fucking mile of 120 mile car trip!
Great job. 1 moment at a time.
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the only reason I am posting is because I feel bad about myself and those that reached out to me day 1. Believe me I thought about just not posting and forgetting this site
Stay quit or haul ass. Your choice. If you fuck up again do not bother posting again. This pisses me off. Upon your request, I will be your quit Sherpa, but I demand 100% full compliance. This is not a game. Shoot me a pm if you wish. We will crush this.
You can do this. It is simply a choice...and you must choose to suffer for some time to regain your freedom. What are you willing to do for freedom?
Read this index.php?showtopic=3861 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3861)
Alright my previous post is harsh. I now see that. That said, this is not a place for failure. I am an addict so i choose to hang around quitters and not cavers. Why? I dont ever want to use again. I will always protect the quit. So, stay and quit or leave. Now, If you want to quit i will help you. I will most definitely.
Start reading the words of wisdom. The section is full of unbelievable nuggets of goodness. As you read, if you connect with someone seek them out. They will help you.
Now, kick some ass 1 day at a time. You can do this.
OK - day two - lomg car ride today - but no nic. It is great to make that decison up front rather than every fucking mile of 120 mile car trip!
Great job. 1 moment at a time.
Hey you got my contact info too! No excuses get back in here and remember how f--kn bad it sucks to let your quit buddies down let alone letting yourself down. You can't be that big of a pussy.
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I am :ph43r: and i am proud. Way to quit again. 1 day at a time.
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
Kids are powerful man! My son asked all the time when "was I quitting the gross stuff" and one day I found him spitting in a bottle to be like me. Its been 50 days for me, but the most important peice of advice I can give is post roll and take it one day at a time. Dont think about qutting forever, just quit for today then repeat. Welcome man, let me know if you need anything.
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.Â
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
Kids are powerful man! My son asked all the time when "was I quitting the gross stuff" and one day I found him spitting in a bottle to be like me. Its been 50 days for me, but the most important peice of advice I can give is post roll and take it one day at a time. Dont think about qutting forever, just quit for today then repeat. Welcome man, let me know if you need anything.
I agree don't think further than today it (the bitch) will screw with your mind. Every time you have a crave think how much you love those kids, and want to be with them always.
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
great post! Freedom from addict behavior is the reward we reap for being strong enough to remain quit. Enjoy your freedom, protect your quit.
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Just found this site tonight. Reading some of the titles of the threads and this one caught me. Like the OP, I have chosen to spend some of my free time chewing instead of spending time with my wife (she has no idea that I chew). We have only been married a short while, but we are already having all kinds of problems.
I would like to tell you a little bit about how I got here. During college my roomates (3/5) were big chew guys and often went through a can or two a day. I hardly ever did it with them, maybe one or two chews a month when we were drinking. However, in my last year of college my friends introduced me to the camel suns and I started doing that pretty much every time we went out drinking. Well, I graduated college and completly forgot about the snus and went on to medical school. Life here at school is stressful in a way I can't even describe, so what did I do in the first semester of medical school? On a lonely Saturday night I decided to stop at the local gas station a pick up a can of skol wintergreen pouches. The logical thing to do as a medical student right? The sad thing is that I can tell you pretty much everything that nicotine and tobacco do to the human body.
Everything was going great. I had this great new study buddy on my lonely nights in the library. No doubt, tobacco helps me sit there for hours on end and what a great thing to make me want to go study, tobacco. It turned into more than that. I have found myself not spending time with my wife, even the nights I don't have to study. We have grown apart and even talked about divorce.
I have decided now is the time to stop. I have only been chewing for about two years but the days I go without it, it's all I can think about. I have my medical boards coming up this summer, going to be one of the most stressful times of my life, but I need to do it.
Anybody out there with some advice on where to start?
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Just found this site tonight. Reading some of the titles of the threads and this one caught me. Like the OP, I have chosen to spend some of my free time chewing instead of spending time with my wife (she has no idea that I chew). We have only been married a short while, but we are already having all kinds of problems.
I would like to tell you a little bit about how I got here. During college my roomates (3/5) were big chew guys and often went through a can or two a day. I hardly ever did it with them, maybe one or two chews a month when we were drinking. However, in my last year of college my friends introduced me to the camel suns and I started doing that pretty much every time we went out drinking. Well, I graduated college and completly forgot about the snus and went on to medical school. Life here at school is stressful in a way I can't even describe, so what did I do in the first semester of medical school? On a lonely Saturday night I decided to stop at the local gas station a pick up a can of skol wintergreen pouches. The logical thing to do as a medical student right? The sad thing is that I can tell you pretty much everything that nicotine and tobacco do to the human body.
Everything was going great. I had this great new study buddy on my lonely nights in the library. No doubt, tobacco helps me sit there for hours on end and what a great thing to make me want to go study, tobacco. It turned into more than that. I have found myself not spending time with my wife, even the nights I don't have to study. We have grown apart and even talked about divorce.
I have decided now is the time to stop. I have only been chewing for about two years but the days I go without it, it's all I can think about. I have my medical boards coming up this summer, going to be one of the most stressful times of my life, but I need to do it.
Anybody out there with some advice on where to start?
Flake I sent you a pm awhile ago check it out. There is only one time to quit that is today and every day from now on.
Go to the welcome center read how to post roll, you will be in July quitters.
It sucks to shake the bitch but all of us are doing it together. As for your wife can't help but maybe you've been avoiding her to be with the bitch. Hell I kept my secret lid from my wife for years, even when she did find out I promised the relationship was over even though it wasn't the lies never end lies are never good in a marriage.
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
The combination of a trigger or a romantic memory with the idea that they will have just one.
Then the law of addiction is applied. The law of physiological addiction states that administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of the dependence on that substance. I didn't write that law. I don't execute that law. My job is much simpler than that. All I do is interpret the law. This means, by taking a chew, the dipper either goes back to full-fledged dipping or goes through the withdrawal process associated with quitting. Most don't opt for the withdrawal.
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
The combination of a trigger or a romantic memory with the idea that they will have just one.
Then the law of addiction is applied. The law of physiological addiction states that administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of the dependence on that substance. I didn't write that law. I don't execute that law. My job is much simpler than that. All I do is interpret the law. This means, by taking a chew, the dipper either goes back to full-fledged dipping or goes through the withdrawal process associated with quitting. Most don't opt for the withdrawal.
Let me add to the good stuff that Scowick just wrote.
Early in our quits we are vulnerable because of the power of the addiction as Scowick has explained. The addiction will always be there and we need to guard against it although the struggles of the immediacy of quitting diminish.
The word, "guard," is very important. Most quitters who fail, having been off the stuff for a longer period of time, fail because of complacency. They stop guarding their quits; they stop posting roll and quitting is no longer a priority. That's just when the nicBitch pounces.
Keep involved in this site and post roll every day; keep serious about your quit, and you will succeed.
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
You know why? Because they don't shut the door.
I hate to say it - no...wait...no I don't - but your own words illustrate what I mean:
"I am day 8 so I have a way to go."
No, brother. You're looking at it all wrong. You have FOREVER to go. You want to quit? Really quit? You want to BE quit and LIVE quit? That door needs to close, man. You can never have another shred, drag, lick or sniff of tobacco again in your life. Ever. Get that through your head. Never again. Know it. Accept it. Live it. That's the only way. It's a complete change from anything you've done before. And it's sad and shitty and difficult and sometime torture, but also the path to freedom.
You're going to fail. Understand what I'm saying? That's all I can say for sure, after failing myself 100 times and quitting ONCE. Dig me? Am I making sense?
I hope you're getting the sense that I'm not being combative here. Not at all. I'm not fucking with you. I'm not bullying you. I want you to WIN. It's at your grasp. No bullshit. But it's all in your perspective.
And it's hard hard hard work. Forever. Until you get your head around that, you're fucked.
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
The combination of a trigger or a romantic memory with the idea that they will have just one.
Then the law of addiction is applied. The law of physiological addiction states that administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of the dependence on that substance. I didn't write that law. I don't execute that law. My job is much simpler than that. All I do is interpret the law. This means, by taking a chew, the dipper either goes back to full-fledged dipping or goes through the withdrawal process associated with quitting. Most don't opt for the withdrawal.
Let me add to the good stuff that Scowick just wrote.
Early in our quits we are vulnerable because of the power of the addiction as Scowick has explained. The addiction will always be there and we need to guard against it although the struggles of the immediacy of quitting diminish.
The word, "guard," is very important. Most quitters who fail, having been off the stuff for a longer period of time, fail because of complacency. They stop guarding their quits; they stop posting roll and quitting is no longer a priority. That's just when the nicBitch pounces.
Keep involved in this site and post roll every day; keep serious about your quit, and you will succeed.
I'm not by any means an expert here, but I once read about alcoholics that were heavily addicted fall down drunks that came clean for a long period of time and then relapsed. It was noted that they immediately went right back to where they left off and did not gradually return.
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I have personally experienced quitting for months to then break down and start again. I have read about others with the same history.
Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping. I would be curios of anyone's perspective - it may help me and others.
I am day 8 so I have a way to go - but just read another post of someone who quit for 6 months and then when back.
Thanks
You know why? Because they don't shut the door.
I hate to say it - no...wait...no I don't - but your own words illustrate what I mean:
"I am day 8 so I have a way to go."
No, brother. You're looking at it all wrong. You have FOREVER to go. You want to quit? Really quit? You want to BE quit and LIVE quit? That door needs to close, man. You can never have another shred, drag, lick or sniff of tobacco again in your life. Ever. Get that through your head. Never again. Know it. Accept it. Live it. That's the only way. It's a complete change from anything you've done before. And it's sad and shitty and difficult and sometime torture, but also the path to freedom.
You're going to fail. Understand what I'm saying? That's all I can say for sure, after failing myself 100 times and quitting ONCE. Dig me? Am I making sense?
I hope you're getting the sense that I'm not being combative here. Not at all. I'm not fucking with you. I'm not bullying you. I want you to WIN. It's at your grasp. No bullshit. But it's all in your perspective.
And it's hard hard hard work. Forever. Until you get your head around that, you're fucked.
Just gonna follow up here. Couldn't agree more with deanthecoot. Quitters gotta shut the door.
And if this doesn't make the quitter really sad to do so, then they are probably leaving the door propped open a little bit just so they can peek back inside addiction. When you close the door, all the fond memories you have of tobacco use and how cool it was and all that romanticized bull shit are gonna come flying at you 100 miles an hour.
Everyone responds differently, but if the quitter isn't undergoing some emotional stuff that is significantly different than before (i.e if this quit feels like all the other failed ones), then I'm betting the door is still propped open.
Again, not accusing you of leaving the door open or anything, I just really relate to the whole "close the door" idea. The moment in time that I closed the door will forever be etched in my brain. It still makes me misty eyed. It really really hurt my feelings. But as deanthecoot says, it is the true path to freedom.
Stay quit. PM me if I can help you.
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Great question. I agree with Dean and Rangy and want to add to it. Youcandoit is exactly right...understanding shit like this will help everyone avoid mistakes.
Shutting the door is the key. I made nicotine part of my life. I made myself an addict. Addicts are excellent liars...very similar to con artists. The first person a conman fools is himself. I can never escape addiction because I made it part of me. I made it a part of things that I don't want to forget...baseball, camp, college, hunting trips, good times with friends, etc. I added nicotine to everything in my life from age 15 to 40...like mixing in a big fucking turd in my ice cream and trying to eat around it.
I conned myself for all those years this way. I could rationalize anything. I'd set future quit dates, lie to my family (parents first, then wife and kids more recently)...real shithead stuff, you know? I always knew it was bad for me, that I had to quit, that it would kill me, etc. But I had made it part of my life...part of me. Now, my challenge is ignore the nic bitch and focus on the part of me that I do like...or eat around the turd, so to speak.
The key for me was finding my motivation to keep the door shut. I had already lied to everyone and everything in my life. What was going to be different this time? One thing...I was quitting for the part of me that I like, that I'm proud of. I can keep the door shut because it makes me a better person...better for my wife and kids, better son to my parents, a better brother, a better uncle for my nieces and nephews, a better example for my kids' and their friends...a better me in every fucking measureable way.
I have fought for 586 days. Tomorrow, I will fight again. It has become easier and easier with each day as I put more ice cream in my bowl. I just have to remember that the turd is always in there, too.
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Great question. I agree with Dean and Rangy and want to add to it. Youcandoit is exactly right...understanding shit like this will help everyone avoid mistakes.Â
Shutting the door is the key. I made nicotine part of my life. I made myself an addict. Addicts are excellent liars...very similar to con artists. The first person a conman fools is himself. I can never escape addiction because I made it part of me. I made it a part of things that I don't want to forget...baseball, camp, college, hunting trips, good times with friends, etc. I added nicotine to everything in my life from age 15 to 40...like mixing in a big fucking turd in my ice cream and trying to eat around it.
I conned myself for all those years this way. I could rationalize anything. I'd set future quit dates, lie to my family (parents first, then wife and kids more recently)...real shithead stuff, you know? I always knew it was bad for me, that I had to quit, that it would kill me, etc. But I had made it part of my life...part of me. Now, my challenge is ignore the nic bitch and focus on the part of me that I do like...or eat around the turd, so to speak.Â
The key for me was finding my motivation to keep the door shut. I had already lied to everyone and everything in my life. What was going to be different this time? One thing...I was quitting for the part of me that I like, that I'm proud of.  I can keep the door shut because it makes me a better person...better for my wife and kids, better son to my parents, a better brother, a better uncle for my nieces and nephews, a better example for my kids' and their friends...a better me in every fucking measureable way.  Â
I have fought for 586 days. Tomorrow, I will fight again. It has become easier and easier with each day as I put more ice cream in my bowl. I just have to remember that the turd is always in there, too.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Bean: I love this. I am printing it. Thanks good stuff!!!!
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This is a really great thread. The shut door vs 1 day at a time. I agree with the door shut.
I could not shut my door until my head was clear. My first 4 months were 1 day at a time. Then I got pissed at the nic bitch. At some point I was simply done. I acknowledged, then accepted, then embraced being an addict. Then I shut the door.
You can do it, right now bring your quit today. 1 day at a time. You must promise to reread this though. Sage advice.
Quit 1 day at a time...admit and accept you are an addict lifelong...shut the door.
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This is a really great thread. The shut door vs 1 day at a time. I agree with the door shut.
I could not shut my door until my head was clear. My first 4 months were 1 day at a time. Then I got pissed at the nic bitch. At some point I was simply done. I acknowledged, then accepted, then embraced being an addict. Then I shut the door.
You can do it, right now bring your quit today. 1 day at a time. You must promise to reread this though. Sage advice.
Quit 1 day at a time...admit and accept you are an addict lifelong...shut the door.
I can see that. My door isn't closed either, but only in my 30s. So yea, for me it is one day at a time.....and I struggle with that concept.
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Shutting the door one day at a time? Quitting is done one day at a time, no doubt. But "burn the boats" and "shutting the door" describes the determination you need. Maybe I'm getting off point...but I love being quit and discussing shit on KTC. I owe everything to this site. And I'll be here tomorrow because I shut the door on that shit.
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Shutting the door one day at a time? Quitting is done one day at a time, no doubt. But "burn the boats" and "shutting the door" describes the determination you need. Maybe I'm getting off point...but I love being quit and discussing shit on KTC. I owe everything to this site. And I'll be here tomorrow because I shut the door on that shit.
That is a great thing that you knew with 100% certainty that you would always be quit.
I am too old and have seen too many things in my life to believe in that concept. There is not one thing in my life that I can say with 100% certainty or guarantee.
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Shutting the door one day at a time? Quitting is done one day at a time, no doubt. But "burn the boats" and "shutting the door" describes the determination you need. Maybe I'm getting off point...but I love being quit and discussing shit on KTC. I owe everything to this site. And I'll be here tomorrow because I shut the door on that shit.
That is a great thing that you knew with 100% certainty that you would always be quit.
I am too old and have seen too many things in my life to believe in that concept. There is not one thing in my life that I can say with 100% certainty or guarantee.
I can Guarantee with 100% certainty that if you don't put any nicotine in your body that you will be quit!
Just don't do it. Ban the shit. Eliminate the choice. Be willing to fight to the death to keep it out of your body. Never forget that you are a drug addict.
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The shut door vs 1 day at a time.
I've learned that you need both. You need to shut the door, as well as go one day at a time. One MINUTE at a time, if necessary. (That was me, for sure. Mister Freak The Fuck Out.)
These concepts are NOT in opposition to one another. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
Hell, there was a time early in my quit where I *planned* a cave date (and talked about it at KTC) in an effort to trick my mind into believing I'd go back to the can. The idea was that this planned cave was a far-off reward for working so hard one day at a time for so long. Then, when I hit that date, I'd post roll, keep my promise, and reset my cave date.
This plan was stupid, if only because I soon learned that coming to terms with being done FOREVER was a better quit tool.
It's both: one millisecond at a time AND knowing you're done. Forever. With 100% certainty.
I know what you're saying, carumba, but this is not a time for being what you believe is "realistic." Get me? Being realistic is going to put your fingers back in that can, brother.
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... Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping...
I'm surprised that nobody picked up and commented on this part of your question...
The emotional piece of this is the strongest part - the emotional/psychological addiction FAR outweighs the physical addiction, as I am sure all of you know.
This is the reason people can be 785 days into their quit and have a sudden urge to pull into a gas station and buy a can...the question is, do they or not?
Most of us - wrongly so - associated dipping with a comforting/coping tool. The whole nurture portion of the nature vs nurture debate. Repeat the stress that you want comfort from, the desire to be "comforted" returns.
Closing the door means re-wiring the mind to associate new, healthier coping mechanisms with the triggers you personally have. Posting roll, feeling the success of being yet another day quit, texting brothers when things are going downhill...
Taking control of your own behavior and OWNING the decisions YOU make...and knowing that being QUIT is the decision you WANT more than anything else, that is how you close the door on nic...
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... Why do you think a person would go back after pretty much beating the physical and emotional habit of dipping...
I'm surprised that nobody picked up and commented on this part of your question...
The emotional piece of this is the strongest part - the emotional/psychological addiction FAR outweighs the physical addiction, as I am sure all of you know.
This is the reason people can be 785 days into their quit and have a sudden urge to pull into a gas station and buy a can...the question is, do they or not?
Most of us - wrongly so - associated dipping with a comforting/coping tool. The whole nurture portion of the nature vs nurture debate. Repeat the stress that you want comfort from, the desire to be "comforted" returns.
Closing the door means re-wiring the mind to associate new, healthier coping mechanisms with the triggers you personally have. Posting roll, feeling the success of being yet another day quit, texting brothers when things are going downhill...
Taking control of your own behavior and OWNING the decisions YOU make...and knowing that being QUIT is the decision you WANT more than anything else, that is how you close the door on nic...
I also imagine a lot of started dipping when we were in our teens - 14-16. That's when I started. I thought I was pretty badass and knew everything back then, but now I know I was in fact a complete dumbass and still a kid. I'm not sure what nicotine does to a still developing brain, but the majority of my life during those formative years and beyond until just a few weeks ago was spent feeding that nicotine addiction.
As I think about that, most of my major life moments were experienced on nicotine, whether good or bad, that shit was always in my body and as I'm realizing, it does mess with your brain and being quit can be very hard to deal with when your brain is 20+ years used to having its nic fix. Well, I don't want to be that person anymore, that's why I'm here and why I quit with all of you today.
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The shut door vs 1 day at a time.
I've learned that you need both. You need to shut the door, as well as go one day at a time. One MINUTE at a time, if necessary. (That was me, for sure. Mister Freak The Fuck Out.)
These concepts are NOT in opposition to one another. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
It's both: one millisecond at a time AND knowing you're done. Forever. With 100% certainty.
I know what you're saying, carumba, but this is not a time for being what you believe is "realistic." Get me? Being realistic is going to put your fingers back in that can, brother.
I am trying to "get you" ...and others, but I am in a bit of a catch 22. The more I think about it, the worse the craves are. I am better off acting like a 5 year old with my fingers in my ear singing lalala I can't hear you. Just deal with today with "No Mind" (quote from Last Samurai). Be quit today and don't worry or think about tomorrow. (the advice 'everyone' gives me when I am having a bad day)
It crushes me when I read on the forums that some people are craving at day 150....300 etc. That scares the living hell out of me and definitely weakens my resolve. It won't hurt my quit today, since I promised.
I can't wrap my mind around one day at a time and at the same time close the door forever. Seems contradictory....but I will keep trying to understand !
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The shut door vs 1 day at a time.
I've learned that you need both. You need to shut the door, as well as go one day at a time. One MINUTE at a time, if necessary. (That was me, for sure. Mister Freak The Fuck Out.)
These concepts are NOT in opposition to one another. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
It's both: one millisecond at a time AND knowing you're done. Forever. With 100% certainty.
I know what you're saying, carumba, but this is not a time for being what you believe is "realistic." Get me? Being realistic is going to put your fingers back in that can, brother.
I am trying to "get you" ...and others, but I am in a bit of a catch 22. The more I think about it, the worse the craves are. I am better off acting like a 5 year old with my fingers in my ear singing lalala I can't hear you. Just deal with today with "No Mind" (quote from Last Samurai). Be quit today and don't worry or think about tomorrow. (the advice 'everyone' gives me when I am having a bad day)
It crushes me when I read on the forums that some people are craving at day 150....300 etc. That scares the living hell out of me and definitely weakens my resolve. It won't hurt my quit today, since I promised.
I can't wrap my mind around one day at a time and at the same time close the door forever. Seems contradictory....but I will keep trying to understand !
I'm in no position to help when it comes to closing the door, at least for the long term. But I have learned to deal much better with the craves. . Like you, I had days where I would obsess about the craves, and the craves would seem to multiply and pile up. It was sort of self-fulfilling. But my big break-through was the when I mentally sat myself down, and my mind and me had a little talk.
Basically, I seriously considered how far I was going to take the promise I made earlier that morning. The answer was very calming to me - I decided that if I calmly thought about it, I came to the conclusion that there was just no realistic way that I was going to dip today. For me, I think a lot of the anxiety had to do with me subconsciously trying to figure out a way to dip AND keep my word AND stay quit. Rationally seeing that this was not possible sort of made my mind surrender and say "ok, fuck it. I won't bother you for a while. But later we are gonna talk about this shit again."
And later me and myself do talk about it again. After 80-something days of this, I (1) always come to the same conclusion, (2) that conclusion comes much more quickly, and best of all (3) the need to even have that inner conversation comes MUCH less often.
Yes, I'm a psycho who apparently talks to himself, but I'm QUIT psycho.
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The shut door vs 1 day at a time.
I've learned that you need both. You need to shut the door, as well as go one day at a time. One MINUTE at a time, if necessary. (That was me, for sure. Mister Freak The Fuck Out.)
These concepts are NOT in opposition to one another. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
It's both: one millisecond at a time AND knowing you're done. Forever. With 100% certainty.
I know what you're saying, carumba, but this is not a time for being what you believe is "realistic." Get me? Being realistic is going to put your fingers back in that can, brother.
I am trying to "get you" ...and others, but I am in a bit of a catch 22. The more I think about it, the worse the craves are. I am better off acting like a 5 year old with my fingers in my ear singing lalala I can't hear you. Just deal with today with "No Mind" (quote from Last Samurai). Be quit today and don't worry or think about tomorrow. (the advice 'everyone' gives me when I am having a bad day)
It crushes me when I read on the forums that some people are craving at day 150....300 etc. That scares the living hell out of me and definitely weakens my resolve. It won't hurt my quit today, since I promised.
I can't wrap my mind around one day at a time and at the same time close the door forever. Seems contradictory....but I will keep trying to understand !
I'm in no position to help when it comes to closing the door, at least for the long term. But I have learned to deal much better with the craves. . Like you, I had days where I would obsess about the craves, and the craves would seem to multiply and pile up. It was sort of self-fulfilling. But my big break-through was the when I mentally sat myself down, and my mind and me had a little talk.
Basically, I seriously considered how far I was going to take the promise I made earlier that morning. The answer was very calming to me - I decided that if I calmly thought about it, I came to the conclusion that there was just no realistic way that I was going to dip today. For me, I think a lot of the anxiety had to do with me subconsciously trying to figure out a way to dip AND keep my word AND stay quit. Rationally seeing that this was not possible sort of made my mind surrender and say "ok, fuck it. I won't bother you for a while. But later we are gonna talk about this shit again."
And later me and myself do talk about it again. After 80-something days of this, I (1) always come to the same conclusion, (2) that conclusion comes much more quickly, and best of all (3) the need to even have that inner conversation comes MUCH less often.
Yes, I'm a psycho who apparently talks to himself, but I'm QUIT psycho.
Ditto. What Zam said.
Despite having run my yapper about closing the door earlier, I still think one day at a time is extremely important. Don't fret about the future, just today. Earlier in my quit, I wrote some stuff that said the only way I could even come close to functioning each minute was to relax and just deal with today. I knew somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain the door was closed, but it certainly didn't feel like it in the middle of a mind boggling crave.
Bottom line, don't worry. If all this analyzing makes you freak out, then stop it and just worry about today. It's the only day that matters anyway.
Stay Quit Brother.
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The shut door vs 1 day at a time.
I've learned that you need both. You need to shut the door, as well as go one day at a time. One MINUTE at a time, if necessary. (That was me, for sure. Mister Freak The Fuck Out.)
These concepts are NOT in opposition to one another. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
It's both: one millisecond at a time AND knowing you're done. Forever. With 100% certainty.
I know what you're saying, carumba, but this is not a time for being what you believe is "realistic." Get me? Being realistic is going to put your fingers back in that can, brother.
I am trying to "get you" ...and others, but I am in a bit of a catch 22. The more I think about it, the worse the craves are. I am better off acting like a 5 year old with my fingers in my ear singing lalala I can't hear you. Just deal with today with "No Mind" (quote from Last Samurai). Be quit today and don't worry or think about tomorrow. (the advice 'everyone' gives me when I am having a bad day)
It crushes me when I read on the forums that some people are craving at day 150....300 etc. That scares the living hell out of me and definitely weakens my resolve. It won't hurt my quit today, since I promised.
I can't wrap my mind around one day at a time and at the same time close the door forever. Seems contradictory....but I will keep trying to understand !
I think I wrote a long metaphor once about quitting being a lot like a huge, deep laceration.
When you first quit, it's ghastly. It's a bloody fucking mess. It's all you can pay attention to. It's painful beyond words.
But it starts to heal. In a week, it's better than it was on day one. In a month, you're still fucked up, but not bleeding profusely. In a year, it hurts every once in a while, but you tend to not even notice it unless you look at it. Sometimes, though, a stinging pain strikes you, one year, two years or more after you got cut.
Catching my drift, brother?
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
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Â
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
Catching my drift, brother?
I am going to invoke the 24 hour rule and not respond the way I would really like to respond.
I will say this though. Is this supposed to fucking inspire me to stay quit ?
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Â
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
Catching my drift, brother?
I am going to invoke the 24 hour rule and not respond the way I would really like to respond.
I will say this though. Is this supposed to fucking inspire me to stay quit ?
Yo, Carumba,
IT GETS FUCKING BETTER BRO. I PROMISE.
You will look back at this and chuckle. Stay strong. Don't worry about that other shit down the road, it ain't shit. You're in a serious fucking funk right now. Keep scratching, you'll see the light soon.
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Â
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
Catching my drift, brother?
I am going to invoke the 24 hour rule and not respond the way I would really like to respond.
I will say this though. Is this supposed to fucking inspire me to stay quit ?
I'm replying directly to you, but a lot of new quitters are reading this thread, so the response isn't *entirely* for you:
Yes. It's supposed to inspire you to stay quit. You're not hearing what I'm saying at all. You are always going to crave, whether once a day for seventy minutes straight (with a seven-second break to think about how fucking constipated you are) or once a year for seven seconds. You will GET to that point and WIN. No doubt. That's guaranteed. But you need to have a realistic perspective on what you are facing, or you are much more likely to fail. No one wants that.
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I don't mean to make anyone upset. I swear, if we were all sitting here just rapping, you'd hear that I'm not being at all combative. I just want every one of you guys to own this shit.
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Â
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
Catching my drift, brother?
I am going to invoke the 24 hour rule and not respond the way I would really like to respond.
I will say this though. Is this supposed to fucking inspire me to stay quit ?
I'm replying directly to you, but a lot of new quitters are reading this thread, so the response isn't *entirely* for you:
Yes. It's supposed to inspire you to stay quit. You're not hearing what I'm saying at all. You are always going to crave, whether once a day for seventy minutes straight (with a seven-second break to think about how fucking constipated you are) or once a year for seven seconds. You will GET to that point and WIN. No doubt. That's guaranteed. But you need to have a realistic perspective on what you are facing, or you are much more likely to fail. No one wants that.
Dean is right. That said I get where a new quitter's head is. Dean does to. We were both in your shoes. We are addicts. We get it. Damn do we get it.
If you read my HOF speach you will see that I stopped once for a year and a half and started back. Believe me when I tell you this, it was MY plan all along. I had no intentions to stop forever. And alas, I followed though with MY own plan. Believe me when I tell you this. I will NEVER dip again. Period. I have shut the door. I shall follow through.
Focus on 1 day at a time if that is where you are right now. At some point you will have your shit together. At that point you best shut the door. Trust me, the nic bitch is on the other side...shut or not shut....
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Carumba:
There is some solid quit gold advice here. I pay attention whenever the Cunt and scow through out this kind of inspiration. I am 3 days from HOF, but was in a serious funk like you around day 30. I am posting a PM from a brother that I hold in high regard. I have kept this and i reference it frequently. Disregard the first paragraph though, that is for another time. ;)
Vadge
Hey Vadge-
Nice to hear from you buddy. Hope you had a good weekend. Yes I do remember the cuckoldry talk hah. And Tex's online lady conquests.
Sorry to hear about the insomnia, but not at all surprised. This is a very normal thing. You're doing a great job by staying on the site and just letting that time pass. Such a huge part of the quit at this stage will be to just keep yourself occupied and avoid any 'boredom'-y free-time.
And I'm really glad you asked this question - it's a very important one. You've probably heard a lot of the catch phrases around here by now. It's one of those things where you hear them all the time and they just kind of become jaded.
But for today, I want you to really consider the implications of "one day at a time". Vadge, there is an immense power therein. I will advise you against thinking *at all* about 'for the rest of my life'. That's something you can consider at a later date. Wont' do you any good right now.
So, let me cut you some truth from some different sides.
1) No, you're not going to have to make the FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE every day for the rest of your life. The acute, intense battles, are what you are doing right now. Those can show up after HOF as well, but often they don't. And when they do, the severity is usually never anywhere near close to, say, the things we can experience only a couple of weeks in.
2) You absolutely will have to stay reminded of the danger. In other words, keeping your guard up. But don't think about that for now. It's not that you're going to have to orient your whole life around spending 2 hours a day on this site or you're going to be back to chewing. It's more like you're going to learn to watch your brain and just make necessary adjustments. Do you remember learning to drive? How stressful that was and how many things to do at once... How much concentrated effort is it now to drive a few blocks away?
3) The men here are TRUSTABLE men. People are looking out for you and all you ever need to do is reach up your hand and people can hold you up through anything. I see you put up a 30 yesterday. You're doing great man. There are a lot of ups and downs in this process. It wasn't *that* long ago that I was exactly in your shoes. Distilling my experience and the perspective I have now (AND the inexplicable degree to which my life has become better):
The only thing that matters right now is that you don't chew. Trust in the men (and women) around you. Keep your mind open. Ask for all the help you need. But, Vadge, most of all, just
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE doing. This is the hardest part because you don't get the opportunity to see the changes coming. And it's hard to be patient. But I assure you that, at the stage you are at right now, your work is to just pay attention to when/why/where/how the craves come up, and deal accordingly. I personally give you permission to not even CARE about anything else, within reason.
So, a wrap up, don't be thinking about *tomorrow* let alone any days beyond. You can do this today, you are going to do this TODAY, and that's the only thing we give a shit about right now.
It's only to ease any anxiety that I tell you, no, it's not going to be this outrageous burden that you are now stuck with forever. If you get a chance to ever talk with a vet with 1000 or 2000 days, ask them about this. Every one I've talked to never ever ever really thinks about chew anymore.
But we can have correspondence or discussions about that later on when appropriate. The game changes at different stages. Right now, you are doing exactly what you need to do. The only relevant thing is growing your number and starting to watch how your addiction works.
I'll quit with you all damn day today Vadge
The insomnia doesn't last forever either. Just know that your body is healing itself in ways you aren't even aware. Don't stress too much over being a little short on the sleep.
Quitting with you
ToeTag
-
Â
KNOW THIS: You will never be "normal" again. You're going to crave on Day 56, Day 181, Day 304, Day 772.... But you'll deal with it. The scar will always be there.
You need to come to terms with that, or you're going to cave. You're going to rip that wound wide open again.
And sooner or later, it's going to kill you.
The only option, then, is to let it heal. Right? Or do you want to die?
Catching my drift, brother?
I am going to invoke the 24 hour rule and not respond the way I would really like to respond.
I will say this though. Is this supposed to fucking inspire me to stay quit ?
I'm replying directly to you, but a lot of new quitters are reading this thread, so the response isn't *entirely* for you:
Yes. It's supposed to inspire you to stay quit. You're not hearing what I'm saying at all. You are always going to crave, whether once a day for seventy minutes straight (with a seven-second break to think about how fucking constipated you are) or once a year for seven seconds. You will GET to that point and WIN. No doubt. That's guaranteed. But you need to have a realistic perspective on what you are facing, or you are much more likely to fail. No one wants that.
Dean is right. That said I get where a new quitter's head is. Dean does to. We were both in your shoes. We are addicts. We get it. Damn do we get it.
If you read my HOF speach you will see that I stopped once for a year and a half and started back. Believe me when I tell you this, it was MY plan all along. I had no intentions to stop forever. And alas, I followed though with MY own plan. Believe me when I tell you this. I will NEVER dip again. Period. I have shut the door. I shall follow through.
Focus on 1 day at a time if that is where you are right now. At some point you will have your shit together. At that point you best shut the door. Trust me, the nic bitch is on the other side...shut or not shut....
This is an awesome thread guys. I couldn't agree more with Dean and Scowick on this one. Some leave the door cracked well into their quit. It is sometimes obvious to other addicts, sometimes it is not (addicts can be pretty sneaky).
I've thought of this more as stopping vs quitting. Stopping leaves the possibility of a cave (or even a planned cave as Scowick describes). Quitting is shutting that door permanently, even though that does play out one day at a time.
I chewed for ~38 yrs, and I honestly don't know why I wasn't ready to be quit before, nor why Feb 10 was the quit day for me other than on that day I was ready to shut the door. I still had all the same reasons to quit before Feb 10, I just wasn't ready to shut that door forever.
I will never go back to it, but in order to keep that promise to myself I need to not kid myself ever. I am an addict, I will always be an addict. The nic bitch will continue to check on me, even many years into my quit. Failing to understand that is failing to protect your quit and keeping your word to yourself.
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Carumba:
There is some solid quit gold advice here. I pay attention whenever the Cunt and scow through out this kind of inspiration. I am 3 days from HOF, but was in a serious funk like you around day 30. I am posting a PM from a brother that I hold in high regard. I have kept this and i reference it frequently. Disregard the first paragraph though, that is for another time. ;)
Vadge
Hey Vadge-
Nice to hear from you buddy. Hope you had a good weekend. Yes I do remember the cuckoldry talk hah. And Tex's online lady conquests.
Sorry to hear about the insomnia, but not at all surprised. This is a very normal thing. You're doing a great job by staying on the site and just letting that time pass. Such a huge part of the quit at this stage will be to just keep yourself occupied and avoid any 'boredom'-y free-time.
And I'm really glad you asked this question - it's a very important one. You've probably heard a lot of the catch phrases around here by now. It's one of those things where you hear them all the time and they just kind of become jaded.
But for today, I want you to really consider the implications of "one day at a time". Vadge, there is an immense power therein. I will advise you against thinking *at all* about 'for the rest of my life'. That's something you can consider at a later date. Wont' do you any good right now.
So, let me cut you some truth from some different sides.
1) No, you're not going to have to make the FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE every day for the rest of your life. The acute, intense battles, are what you are doing right now. Those can show up after HOF as well, but often they don't. And when they do, the severity is usually never anywhere near close to, say, the things we can experience only a couple of weeks in.
2) You absolutely will have to stay reminded of the danger. In other words, keeping your guard up. But don't think about that for now. It's not that you're going to have to orient your whole life around spending 2 hours a day on this site or you're going to be back to chewing. It's more like you're going to learn to watch your brain and just make necessary adjustments. Do you remember learning to drive? How stressful that was and how many things to do at once... How much concentrated effort is it now to drive a few blocks away?
3) The men here are TRUSTABLE men. People are looking out for you and all you ever need to do is reach up your hand and people can hold you up through anything. I see you put up a 30 yesterday. You're doing great man. There are a lot of ups and downs in this process. It wasn't *that* long ago that I was exactly in your shoes. Distilling my experience and the perspective I have now (AND the inexplicable degree to which my life has become better):
The only thing that matters right now is that you don't chew. Trust in the men (and women) around you. Keep your mind open. Ask for all the help you need. But, Vadge, most of all, just
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE doing. This is the hardest part because you don't get the opportunity to see the changes coming. And it's hard to be patient. But I assure you that, at the stage you are at right now, your work is to just pay attention to when/why/where/how the craves come up, and deal accordingly. I personally give you permission to not even CARE about anything else, within reason.
So, a wrap up, don't be thinking about *tomorrow* let alone any days beyond. You can do this today, you are going to do this TODAY, and that's the only thing we give a shit about right now.
It's only to ease any anxiety that I tell you, no, it's not going to be this outrageous burden that you are now stuck with forever. If you get a chance to ever talk with a vet with 1000 or 2000 days, ask them about this. Every one I've talked to never ever ever really thinks about chew anymore.
But we can have correspondence or discussions about that later on when appropriate. The game changes at different stages. Right now, you are doing exactly what you need to do. The only relevant thing is growing your number and starting to watch how your addiction works.
I'll quit with you all damn day today Vadge
The insomnia doesn't last forever either. Just know that your body is healing itself in ways you aren't even aware. Don't stress too much over being a little short on the sleep.
Quitting with you
ToeTag
This fucker has it down.
-
Carumba:
There is some solid quit gold advice here. I pay attention whenever the Cunt and scow through out this kind of inspiration. I am 3 days from HOF, but was in a serious funk like you around day 30. I am posting a PM from a brother that I hold in high regard. I have kept this and i reference it frequently. Disregard the first paragraph though, that is for another time. ;)
Vadge
Hey Vadge-
Nice to hear from you buddy. Hope you had a good weekend. Yes I do remember the cuckoldry talk hah. And Tex's online lady conquests.
Sorry to hear about the insomnia, but not at all surprised. This is a very normal thing. You're doing a great job by staying on the site and just letting that time pass. Such a huge part of the quit at this stage will be to just keep yourself occupied and avoid any 'boredom'-y free-time.
And I'm really glad you asked this question - it's a very important one. You've probably heard a lot of the catch phrases around here by now. It's one of those things where you hear them all the time and they just kind of become jaded.
But for today, I want you to really consider the implications of "one day at a time". Vadge, there is an immense power therein. I will advise you against thinking *at all* about 'for the rest of my life'. That's something you can consider at a later date. Wont' do you any good right now.
So, let me cut you some truth from some different sides.
1) No, you're not going to have to make the FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE every day for the rest of your life. The acute, intense battles, are what you are doing right now. Those can show up after HOF as well, but often they don't. And when they do, the severity is usually never anywhere near close to, say, the things we can experience only a couple of weeks in.
2) You absolutely will have to stay reminded of the danger. In other words, keeping your guard up. But don't think about that for now. It's not that you're going to have to orient your whole life around spending 2 hours a day on this site or you're going to be back to chewing. It's more like you're going to learn to watch your brain and just make necessary adjustments. Do you remember learning to drive? How stressful that was and how many things to do at once... How much concentrated effort is it now to drive a few blocks away?
3) The men here are TRUSTABLE men. People are looking out for you and all you ever need to do is reach up your hand and people can hold you up through anything. I see you put up a 30 yesterday. You're doing great man. There are a lot of ups and downs in this process. It wasn't *that* long ago that I was exactly in your shoes. Distilling my experience and the perspective I have now (AND the inexplicable degree to which my life has become better):
The only thing that matters right now is that you don't chew. Trust in the men (and women) around you. Keep your mind open. Ask for all the help you need. But, Vadge, most of all, just
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE doing. This is the hardest part because you don't get the opportunity to see the changes coming. And it's hard to be patient. But I assure you that, at the stage you are at right now, your work is to just pay attention to when/why/where/how the craves come up, and deal accordingly. I personally give you permission to not even CARE about anything else, within reason.
So, a wrap up, don't be thinking about *tomorrow* let alone any days beyond. You can do this today, you are going to do this TODAY, and that's the only thing we give a shit about right now.
It's only to ease any anxiety that I tell you, no, it's not going to be this outrageous burden that you are now stuck with forever. If you get a chance to ever talk with a vet with 1000 or 2000 days, ask them about this. Every one I've talked to never ever ever really thinks about chew anymore.
But we can have correspondence or discussions about that later on when appropriate. The game changes at different stages. Right now, you are doing exactly what you need to do. The only relevant thing is growing your number and starting to watch how your addiction works.
I'll quit with you all damn day today Vadge
The insomnia doesn't last forever either. Just know that your body is healing itself in ways you aren't even aware. Don't stress too much over being a little short on the sleep.
Quitting with you
ToeTag
This fucker has it down.
This thread today isn't nearly as fast pace and vial as yesterdays drama but it is equally as informative and alot more useful. I take that daily quit to be the most important thing in my life for that moment and that day!! At day 19 I recognize the wisdom that is out there from those that have been around for a while. I recently went through the long term thoughts and started thinking about how far down the road would I make it before a crave got me. Then we saw several day 1 postings after longer quits, I Kicked those nic bitch thoughts out of my head and realized that if looked past today at this point in my quit I would fail, I would give up, I would set myself up to fail again. I know that I can quit today and for me that is all that matters. I think that I got mad when seeing those day 1 postings because it kept bringing the thoughts of long term back into my mind. I had pushed those thought out only a few days earlier and then fuck the scab got pulled off the sore. I'm putting a big fuckin bandaid on my quit to guard it from all of those evil bitch thoughts by reading things like this thread with so much very good advice.
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We Quit Like Fuck.
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
This is exactly what this shit will do to you. You start out young, with "just a pinch between your cheek and gum." Before you know it, the nic bitch has taken control of your life - you lie to your wife, lie to your kids, lie to yourself - all so you can spend that "quality" time alone with the bitch. Yeah, we're not addicts.
It's damn pathetic that we end up alone, stuffed into a car or the shitter or whatever, sucking on cancer candy after running away from our wife and kids. I've done it and I'm betting most people on this board have done it. I don't know how I used to get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror.
And that is exactly why we are here. We're here to regain the trust of our family, to get our honor back, and to get back to being the husbands and fathers that we should be.
-
Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.Â
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
This is exactly what this shit will do to you. You start out young, with "just a pinch between your cheek and gum." Before you know it, the nic bitch has taken control of your life - you lie to your wife, lie to your kids, lie to yourself - all so you can spend that "quality" time alone with the bitch. Yeah, we're not addicts.
It's damn pathetic that we end up alone, stuffed into a car or the shitter or whatever, sucking on cancer candy after running away from our wife and kids. I've done it and I'm betting most people on this board have done it. I don't know how I used to get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror.
And that is exactly why we are here. We're here to regain the trust of our family, to get our honor back, and to get back to being the husbands and fathers that we should be.
Ktb: This sounds like a chapter out of my life book. Always amazes me how similar we all are in this addiction.
Proud to be quit. I hate tobacco! I have a little time left with my kids, its been fun but I do not want to hear, "The cats in the cradle playing".
Great post. I am going to see if my kids want to go to home depot with me now.
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Wanted to share with you the benefit of no more dip. Going to hardware store, grocery store, home depot etc., etc. on the weekends used to be a great reason to dip. In fact, as I am sure many of you have done, I would make up shit that I needed to get at these places, typically go sit in the parking lot play on my phone, listen to the radio and dip my freaken face off.
Also I forgot to mention that my kids would always ask to come with me - but of course that would ruin the whole trip, so I would quickly depart and leave them at home.
Well yesterday - the first Saturday of my quit - I spent the entire morning with my kids, running errands, playing out side, took them to lunch and man did we have a ball. Quitting nicotine sucks - but what really sucks are the 10 years I missed spending time with my kids on weekends- because I was a selfish fool.
Fucking tobacco - you do not realize it but if it lets you live it takes your life away, or it just decides to up and kill you - either way you are dead!
It is a rainy, nasty Sunday outside - I can't wait to have the best Sunday with my kids in 10 years!
I can relate! No kids, but I was always coming up with excuses to run off and be a little bitch with my can all by my loser ass self....
No more, it's called freedom and it's what I am doing today.