KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Montana Rob on April 13, 2009, 02:18:00 PM
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Well, here goes.
I joined up on Friday and finally got back to the computer to be able to post. Read Chewie's welcome message and went right over to Roll Call. Here I am, July 2009 - see ya in 100 days!
Oh yeah, I was lurking around this site since Monday, a week before I joined. Just to make sure it was somewhere that I wanted to be. So far so good!
So the story - I started out in rural Montana like most ranch kids, tempting fate from an early age with anything with wheels or feet. Along come the mysterious can of hawken in the 7th grade. Hmmm, just gotta try it. You can't tell me that the tobacky co's don't market that shit to the kids. Hell, the old man chewed copenhagen, beach nut, levi garret, uncle chewed copenhagen, it can't be all bad! Stayed away from it until high school and found out that skoal was pretty good. Snuck the skoal and hid it from the parents and teachers. Got a job, other than working for the ranch, fighting fire for the Forest Service. Hmmmm. copenhagen became my closest friend. Fighting fire, college, working for the feedlots, sitting horseback, working in the woods, working on the ranch, working for the gov't, ahhhhh, couldn't do it without my bestest friend - copenhagen - UNTIL Tueday, April 7 at 8:00pm when I took my last chew. No More. Had a couple of commit lozenges on Friday to take the edge off the withdrawl. It helped but those are the last of the lozenges I will ever need. So here I am - Day 4. One day at a time.
I am Montana Rob
Addicted to Copenhage for 17 years.
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Welcome Montana!!!!!!! You've made one of the best desicions of your life for your life!!!!!! Read all the information available on this site, It will help you to understand what you are going through and what to expect, post roll daily (this is the most important aspect), take what you need from the rest of the site and ingnore the rest. A lot of what is posted is what we call "dip rage", use this site to vent and rage at us, we have been through the same thign or a re currently going through it with you! Use this site to rage and leave your family members alone, it's not their fault you became a dipper and it's not their fault you are having to go through hell in order to quit. PM me if I can help in any way!!!
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Welcome Rob! We're always glad to have another brother along on the journey.
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Fellas-
I need some help on the whole sleeping thing. I can't seem to get any!!!!! FUCK!!!! I wake up every two hours and lay there for 15-20 minutes. I'm exhausted and still need to function at work. When will I get some sleep or at least consecutive hours of sleep? It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed - early or late, I still wake up. Do the herbal or OTC sleep aids work? Help guys, I desparate.
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Fellas-
I need some help on the whole sleeping thing. I can't seem to get any!!!!! FUCK!!!! I wake up every two hours and lay there for 15-20 minutes. I'm exhausted and still need to function at work. When will I get some sleep or at least consecutive hours of sleep? It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed - early or late, I still wake up. Do the herbal or OTC sleep aids work? Help guys, I desparate.
Rob,
Try Melatonen (not sure if that is spelled correctly) You can get it at any drug store or GNC. It will help, I used it early in my Quit. Just make sure you follow the direction on the bottle. As in devote 8 hours to sleep if you don't plan on sleeping at work or worse while your driving! Hope this Helps you out. Shortly your sleep pattern will return to normal.
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Fellas-
I need some help on the whole sleeping thing. I can't seem to get any!!!!! FUCK!!!! I wake up every two hours and lay there for 15-20 minutes. I'm exhausted and still need to function at work. When will I get some sleep or at least consecutive hours of sleep? It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed - early or late, I still wake up. Do the herbal or OTC sleep aids work? Help guys, I desparate.
My third night I took 2 Advil-PM pills. Powerful little suckers for me. I slept at least 8 hours. Didn't need anymore after that. But I found that excercising during the afternoon (tennis and jogging) helped me sleep.
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The sleep will come, Rob. It's different for everyone. For example, for me, I never fell asleep easier than I did the first week I quit. But like you, I was waking up at odd hours, WIDE AWAKE....like, I'm up and take a jog at 3:30 in the morning.
Nicotine fucks with your brain chemistry. We need to de-fuck it. That's all.
I will tell you, though, to not touch any caffeine after noon. Especially if you do herbal (fake) snuff, which contains guarana (twice the caffeine in coffee).
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And....OYE Brad...you look so goddamn handsome today.
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Well, guys (and gals- where ever you hide on this site ;) ) -
Its been 12 days without a bit of nic in my system and 14 days without Copenhagen. The days are starting to get a lot better. Fortunately/Unforturnately the craves are less often but WAY more intense. The Smokey Mountain herbal helps me a bunch. Just the oral fixation thing, I guess, but it helps. I used to throw in a chew in the morning, adding top soil until it was time to eat at noon, and finally throw it out. and repeat after every meal. Pretty much had a chew in my mouth for 95% of my waking hours. Therefore, the need to have something in my lip is really strong.
Sleep, when is it ever going to come again? I posted below about my sleep issues. I guess its getting a little better. I've been taking melatonin at night and it helps get me through to about 4 am and then I should probably just get up, rather than fight for a couple more hours. Still feel exhausted but hoping it gets better. 'bang head'
Its supposed to be 79 degrees in SW Montana today. I'm stuck in the office for awhile but hopefully get outside and do some meaningful work - dip free, of course.
I guess I just needed to post something to help journal my quit. Stay strong, stay quit.
Montana Rob
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And....OYE Brad...you look so goddamn handsome today.
Stop it you sweet talker! :D
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Day 18 without nic, day 20 without Copenhagen.
Not really sure who cares to read this, but I'm going to journal my quit on my page. More or less for me but if it helps somebody - GREAT.
Had my first cave dream last night. Helped some friends move into their new apartment yesterday. One of the guys helping had a big fatty in all day. I had plenty of fake snuff and lifesavers so the craves were taken care of. However, last night, I dreamnt that I bummed one from the guy as we were moving stuff. I could smell it, taste it, loved it. I woke up thinking that I had caved and I actually had bummed a pinch. Took a minute or two to realize it was just a dream and that I was still QUIT.
Today is a little different. After the dream, it seems like the triggers and craves are REALLY strong. Its a good think I bought a big bag of livesavers at Wallyworld as well as a few cans of Smokey Mountain Herbal.
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Disclaimer - I'm writing this to journal my quit. If you enjoy reading it, great. If not, too bad, this is for me and MY quit.
Day 25 w/o nic, Day 27 w/o copenhagen
Its kind of funny. I spent Saturday branding calves at a neighbors place. Most the guys there are long time chewers of Copenhagen. I mean 40-50 years worth. I had some really intense craving going on, as I don't remember a branding without Copenhagen and then to have all of the others still chewing. A couple guys offers me a chew and I told them that I had quit. They thought it was pretty good idea, wished that they could and wished me good luck. I have to say that it was pretty cool of them to not push the subject. I guess the key is, I made it through a branding without a chew - a first in 17 years. Yesterday wasn't too bad, the craves have slacked off.
Everybody said, I would eventually start sleeping again, and I have to say that the last couple of nights, I actually have slept for a solid 6-7 hours. Its great!! And the funny thing about this morning was - I didn't even think about a chew until I was driving to work!!! That's a long way from popping in a fatty as soon as I got up - 25 days ago.
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Just my journal of my quit. I write this for me, if you don't like it, too bad.
Day 50-
Hard to believe I made it to 50 days without Copenhagen. If I even tried to imagine 50 days on day one, I probably would have caved. One day at a time - one day at a time.
Yesterday was the first day I went without the fake stuff. It was kinda funny because I thought about the nic first thing in the morning and then didn't even think about it again until lunch time. Never wanted to put something in my mouth at all. Damn, if that isn't a good feeling. Made it through today, or most of it - so far, without the fake stuff either. Still chomping on a lot of wintergreen lifesavers. I've cut back on the seeds as well. Still like the dill pickle and bbq spitz. Always have.
The nic rage is leveling off. Seems like everyday, it gets better and I have more and more patience for people. Somedays, however, they just piss me off. Just for existing in life. Hmmm. Today was trying but I made it through. Seems like if I can get outside and get some "meaningful" work done, I feel a lot better.
SLEEP! Its so wonderful. I'm actually sleeping all night again. The melatonin really helped for awhile. I think around 30-35 I starting to get full sleep again. Strange side affect of my quit. I wake up a lot earlier but ready to get up and start the day. Before I quit, I couldn't get enough sleep. Kinda nice to wake up and want to get up.
Going to have to start a diet after my HOF, gained about 8-10 pounds since I quit. I think that the weight will come off easier than maintaining my quit.
STAY QUIT.
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I totally agree with your point of waking up and actually feeling like starting the day. It was a nice change for me.
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I appreciate your journal. Helps me remember that my exact experience is replicated in a whole bunch of my brothers here. We're all of the same mold.
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Your quit is sounding good! I can really relate to a lot of this.
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To each his own Brother, do what you gotta do. 'Crazy'