KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Lucky Ned Pepper on June 03, 2016, 12:12:00 AM
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Greetings,
I'm posting here because I need help. I have an addiction to chewing tobacco that is negatively impacting my life. My reasons for wanting to quit tobacco primarily center around three things:
1. Chewing tobacco is drawing me away from my wife and children (I'm more focused on hiding my dip than I am in engaging with them)
2. It interferes with my work (when I have a stinger in it causes a lisp when I'm trying to communicate with customers. Plus I'm usually more concerned about hiding my dip than I am in actually engaging in the conversation)
3. I am concerned for my health
I would love for nothing more than to wake up tomorrow morning addiction free. Obviously that's a pipe dream. The reality is that I'm too afraid to even try to quit today. I've tried to quit before but my anger gets the best of me. When I'm dipping I'm extremely easy going and careful with my words. When I go without a dip I am extremely irritable and hateful. My anger knows no bounds. I get so upset with people (especially my wife) and I focus on everything negative in my life, past and present. It's scary and sad. But as soon as I put a chomper in, boom, I'm back to my regular easy going mood.
I've more or less spent every waking hour for the past five years with a lipper in. I've gotten to be such an expert dipper that I've successfully hidden my use from my wife, children, coworkers and customers. I primarily use Grizzly Wintergreen Longcut but whenever I'm in a situation where I can't reasonably gut it for a prolonged period I switch to Frost Snus. Bottom line is that if I'm without some kind of tobacco for more than an hour I'm feeling lost, irritable and experiencing "the fog."
My main question for the board is this: If I can suffer through the initial shock of being tobacco free, will my anger subside? Or will I be more inclined to be hot headed and bitter from my quit date on out? In other words, will I be able to be the way I am today where my addiction keeps my anger at bay?
I'm also curious to the thought of cutting back versus quitting cold turkey. I'm afraid if I quit cold turkey it'll be such a shock to my system that I'll be a huge mess and will cause irrevocable damage to my family relationships and my job. My concern with cutting back with a plan to eventually quit is that I won't be committed enough to stick to it.
Any help would be appreciated. Like I said, my primary concern is my anger and bitterness when I don't have tobacco in my mouth and if I can reasonably expect these negative attributes to eventually fade if I'm tobacco free.
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Welcome Ned. The answer is complicated. Put very simply, yes you can expect a myriad of things in your life to get unbelievably better. How long the "funk" lasts is anybody's guess, it's different for everyone. I'm 329 days into it and I'm much more patient, collected, and engaged than I ever was dipping, even though I felt the exact same way you described.
The truth is nicotine never did a damn thing for you except keep you addicted to nicotine. It doesn't make you calm, settle your anxiety, better your depression, etc. Your brain currently thinks it needs nicotine to exist, so whenever you rock that boat, you feel out of control. Honestly it will be like that for awhile. However, if you join up and start posting roll, you can rage at all of us. We won't take it personally like your family, and plus we've all been exactly where you are right now.
The bottom line is nicotine has screwed with you too long. You know it and I know it. Be stronger than that worm dirt. Quit actively trying to get cancer. It'll suck until it doesn't. When it doesn't you will wonder what the hell took you so long. We'll walk right alongside you if you follow the plan and give it everything you've got. This place works.
Do it. It's the best decision you will make today.
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Here's where you want to start: Welcome Center (http://forum.killthecan.org/forum/55560/).
Start reading on here, it will help to understand why this place works and what you're up against. Words of Wisdom and Hall of Fame speeches are a great place to start.
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you can do this man! We are all here for you!!
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Once you're out of the fog, you will be happier and more pleasant than you can remember. The problem is, I can't and no one else can tell you how long that will be.
All we can tell you is that it will suck until it doesn't.
Your best chance is to post roll on here every day, and engage with this community. Quit now, cold turkey. Rage on us, we can take it.
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Lucky, Welcome to the site and on thing is certain, you know that you need to quit. Great intro, thanks for sharing and you'll find that your story is like many of ours here.
We all appreciate the questions you have about what it'll be like during the quit but the answers will not change that certainty. You have to quit. And, it needs to be for you. Not your wife and kids, not because of work nor your Customers. We stress this here because there are many more failed cases than successes when folks attempt a quit for other reasons than themselves. You talk of anger and the anger you should have should be directed at nicotine and chew and what it has done to you during your recent lifetime.
It appears to me that you want to and are ready to quit with the right support. Well, you've found the right support in the site here. I, like so many of the vets here will attest, needed the support of this site to navigate successfully through the first few days of my quit. Past that now and will need the help of the big family here to make the next milestone. One day at a time.
Specifically addressing the questions you had: Q) If I can suffer through the initial shock of being tobacco free, will my anger subside? Or will I be more inclined to be hot headed and bitter from my quit date on out? In other words, will I be able to be the way I am today where my addiction keeps my anger at bay? A) As stated by King Nothing above, all of our experiences are different. What we can say is that you are likely to experience some anger, hot headedness, as you make through the initial three days of the physical nicotine withdrawal and some lighter, long term issues as well. Its how we all manage it that makes the difference. Again, as mentioned, you have us here for that. Reach out here to vent, piss, moan, etc. We've been there and get it. Folks are available here on the boards and will also share phone numbers with you so that we all have a net! As you make your way around the site here and read veteran accounts of their quit, you'll learn methods and have tools to handle the anger and frustration that we all go through.
Question regarding cold turkey. It's the only way to do it and the only way we do it here. We are addicted to nicotine and must not use nicotine. That's right, period. At the start, we were all some sort of mess and made it with the support of the family here. That said, if it made sense for you to take a few days off of work to mitigate a bad situation as you fought through the first couple of days of the physical withdrawal, do it. A couple days off of work is a small price to pay to living your life free of nicotine and all the goodness that comes with it. Again, if things are getting funky with you and your gonna lash out at folks, come here and lash out, rant here with us. We'll need your help pat some point too!
We'll help with the commitment to the quit. We post roll every day, early in the day, stating that we will not use nicotine today. Its that easy. And you got it, its that hard too. That's why we are all here quitting together.
I am thinking we've addressed your questions regarding the anger and bitterness we have all experienced and shared some examples of how it can be dealt with.
Come join us and quit. The time is now. It's not a pipedream to be quit today. Quit with us one day at a time, every damned day!
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Be prepared to fight this nasty beast brother. I can tell you that I went through some wicked bouts of anger. It was like day 4 through 14 it seems if I remember correct, which I can't because it all was fogged. But I was borderline psychotic. I was fantasizing about driving my car in to a wall at high speeds. I was fighting with my wife, picking fights with her - bitching, moaning, groaning. just fucking looney tunes.
i discovered later that I'm pretty sure it was my sub-conscious mind trying to force up these feelings of rage and anxiety to get my conscious mind to submit to the cravings and go buy a can. thankfully i fought back. you'll be smooth sailing after 2 weeks man.
don't be ashamed to tell others you're on edge because of your quit. it will strengthen your quit because you don't want to have to admit to everyone you failed right? stay close to forums and other brothers. its the only way.