KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Codycode on April 24, 2012, 01:55:00 PM
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Hello One and All,
Today is day 27... I feel like one of the few remaining humans in a world of flesh-eating zombies. The fog, it is upon me. It seems it arrived on day 5 and has been lurking ever since. My friends, they are supportive, if only vocally. I have done a fairly good job of avoiding them over the last month. They are the zombies attacking my desires, trying to "turn" me with their marijuana and cigarette smoking... After all that's how I started chewing in the first place, my lungs simply couldn't take the cannibis/tobacco 1-2 punch any longer.
It's kind of ironic how it all came full circle. Playing varsity baseball as a freshmen in high school, I was certainly one of the more impressionable youths. I started by wrapping my gum around the chew so coach wouldn't notice it. Chew turned into dip, dip turned into cigarettes once baseball season was over... fast forward 20 years and finally I had had enough. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. The doctor said that the niccotine and marijuana consumption were direct factors in reducing my fertility potency.
My wife has been unbelievably amazing. I clearly don't deserve her. All she gets as thanks is my unbridled wrath and fury. I completely and utterly hate the world. I am cyncial, pissed off, angry, upset, depressed, and all I want is to cave and put in a dip... I know if I just do that, everything will be good again and I'll feel great. It's a total lie, of course. I don't want that, my brain makes me think that I want it. My brain has been the devil on my shoulder for a large part of my life. Addiction is nothing new to me. My wife is lucky enough to be along for this ride and she doesn't deserve it. Back in the nineties, I was able to break the cocaine habit in a matter of hours... I just moved away from it. With niccotine, it's everywhere... no escape geographically. Every day is supposed to be easier but it's not. It varies. Some days are easy, some days are very hard. I am very thankful for this website and for the ability to just get some thoughts down on "paper." Thank you for this. I know I will win. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm proud of me, and I'm proud of all of you. I'll be back.
Cheers,
Codycode
"The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
-
Hello One and All,
Today is day 27... I feel like one of the few remaining humans in a world of flesh-eating zombies. The fog, it is upon me. It seems it arrived on day 5 and has been lurking ever since. My friends, they are supportive, if only vocally. I have done a fairly good job of avoiding them over the last month. They are the zombies attacking my desires, trying to "turn" me with their marijuana and cigarette smoking... After all that's how I started chewing in the first place, my lungs simply couldn't take the cannabis/tobacco 1-2 punch any longer.Â
It's kind of ironic how it all came full circle. Playing varsity baseball as a freshmen in high school, I was certainly one of the more impressionable youths. I started by wrapping my gum around the chew so coach wouldn't notice it. Chew turned into dip, dip turned into cigarettes once baseball season was over... fast forward 20 years and finally I had had enough. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. The doctor said that the nicotine and marijuana consumption were direct factors in reducing my fertility potency.
My wife has been unbelievably amazing. I clearly don't deserve her. All she gets as thanks is my unbridled wrath and fury. I completely and utterly hate the world. I am cynical, pissed off, angry, upset, depressed, and all I want is to cave and put in a dip... I know if I just do that, everything will be good again and I'll feel great. It's a total lie, of course. I don't want that, my brain makes me think that I want it. My brain has been the devil on my shoulder for a large part of my life. Addiction is nothing new to me. My wife is lucky enough to be along for this ride and she doesn't deserve it. Back in the nineties, I was able to break the cocaine habit in a matter of hours... I just moved away from it. With nicotine, it's everywhere... no escape geographically. Every day is supposed to be easier but it's not. It varies. Some days are easy, some days are very hard. I am very thankful for this website and for the ability to just get some thoughts down on "paper." Thank you for this. I know I will win. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm proud of me, and I'm proud of all of you. I'll be back.
Cheers,
Codycode
"The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Cody it is great to have a new quitter among us, but until you post roll and commit to quit for the day you are a lurking troll so go to the welcome center read what you need to do to post roll and DO IT NOW :rolleyes:
For the sake of your wife and your marriage take your rage and other shit out on us. She didn't do anything to deserve your shit. You sure as hell wont get her pregnant being a raving ass hole.
-
Hello One and All,
Today is day 27... I feel like one of the few remaining humans in a world of flesh-eating zombies. The fog, it is upon me. It seems it arrived on day 5 and has been lurking ever since. My friends, they are supportive, if only vocally. I have done a fairly good job of avoiding them over the last month. They are the zombies attacking my desires, trying to "turn" me with their marijuana and cigarette smoking... After all that's how I started chewing in the first place, my lungs simply couldn't take the cannabis/tobacco 1-2 punch any longer.Â
It's kind of ironic how it all came full circle. Playing varsity baseball as a freshmen in high school, I was certainly one of the more impressionable youths. I started by wrapping my gum around the chew so coach wouldn't notice it. Chew turned into dip, dip turned into cigarettes once baseball season was over... fast forward 20 years and finally I had had enough. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. The doctor said that the nicotine and marijuana consumption were direct factors in reducing my fertility potency.
My wife has been unbelievably amazing. I clearly don't deserve her. All she gets as thanks is my unbridled wrath and fury. I completely and utterly hate the world. I am cynical, pissed off, angry, upset, depressed, and all I want is to cave and put in a dip... I know if I just do that, everything will be good again and I'll feel great. It's a total lie, of course. I don't want that, my brain makes me think that I want it. My brain has been the devil on my shoulder for a large part of my life. Addiction is nothing new to me. My wife is lucky enough to be along for this ride and she doesn't deserve it. Back in the nineties, I was able to break the cocaine habit in a matter of hours... I just moved away from it. With nicotine, it's everywhere... no escape geographically. Every day is supposed to be easier but it's not. It varies. Some days are easy, some days are very hard. I am very thankful for this website and for the ability to just get some thoughts down on "paper." Thank you for this. I know I will win. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm proud of me, and I'm proud of all of you. I'll be back.
Cheers,
Codycode
"The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Cody it is great to have a new quitter among us, but until you post roll and commit to quit for the day you are a lurking troll so go to the welcome center read what you need to do to post roll and DO IT NOW :rolleyes:
For the sake of your wife and your marriage take your rage and other shit out on us. She didn't do anything to deserve your shit. You sure as hell wont get her pregnant being a raving ass hole.
DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Hello One and All,
Today is day 27... I feel like one of the few remaining humans in a world of flesh-eating zombies. The fog, it is upon me. It seems it arrived on day 5 and has been lurking ever since. My friends, they are supportive, if only vocally. I have done a fairly good job of avoiding them over the last month. They are the zombies attacking my desires, trying to "turn" me with their marijuana and cigarette smoking... After all that's how I started chewing in the first place, my lungs simply couldn't take the cannabis/tobacco 1-2 punch any longer.Â
It's kind of ironic how it all came full circle. Playing varsity baseball as a freshmen in high school, I was certainly one of the more impressionable youths. I started by wrapping my gum around the chew so coach wouldn't notice it. Chew turned into dip, dip turned into cigarettes once baseball season was over... fast forward 20 years and finally I had had enough. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. The doctor said that the nicotine and marijuana consumption were direct factors in reducing my fertility potency.
My wife has been unbelievably amazing. I clearly don't deserve her. All she gets as thanks is my unbridled wrath and fury. I completely and utterly hate the world. I am cynical, pissed off, angry, upset, depressed, and all I want is to cave and put in a dip... I know if I just do that, everything will be good again and I'll feel great. It's a total lie, of course. I don't want that, my brain makes me think that I want it. My brain has been the devil on my shoulder for a large part of my life. Addiction is nothing new to me. My wife is lucky enough to be along for this ride and she doesn't deserve it. Back in the nineties, I was able to break the cocaine habit in a matter of hours... I just moved away from it. With nicotine, it's everywhere... no escape geographically. Every day is supposed to be easier but it's not. It varies. Some days are easy, some days are very hard. I am very thankful for this website and for the ability to just get some thoughts down on "paper." Thank you for this. I know I will win. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm proud of me, and I'm proud of all of you. I'll be back.
Cheers,
Codycode
"The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Cody it is great to have a new quitter among us, but until you post roll and commit to quit for the day you are a lurking troll so go to the welcome center read what you need to do to post roll and DO IT NOW :rolleyes:
For the sake of your wife and your marriage take your rage and other shit out on us. She didn't do anything to deserve your shit. You sure as hell wont get her pregnant being a raving ass hole.
DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT AND I DID IT!! :lol:
-
Hello One and All,
Today is day 27... I feel like one of the few remaining humans in a world of flesh-eating zombies. The fog, it is upon me. It seems it arrived on day 5 and has been lurking ever since. My friends, they are supportive, if only vocally. I have done a fairly good job of avoiding them over the last month. They are the zombies attacking my desires, trying to "turn" me with their marijuana and cigarette smoking... After all that's how I started chewing in the first place, my lungs simply couldn't take the cannabis/tobacco 1-2 punch any longer.Â
It's kind of ironic how it all came full circle. Playing varsity baseball as a freshmen in high school, I was certainly one of the more impressionable youths. I started by wrapping my gum around the chew so coach wouldn't notice it. Chew turned into dip, dip turned into cigarettes once baseball season was over... fast forward 20 years and finally I had had enough. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. The doctor said that the nicotine and marijuana consumption were direct factors in reducing my fertility potency.
My wife has been unbelievably amazing. I clearly don't deserve her. All she gets as thanks is my unbridled wrath and fury. I completely and utterly hate the world. I am cynical, pissed off, angry, upset, depressed, and all I want is to cave and put in a dip... I know if I just do that, everything will be good again and I'll feel great. It's a total lie, of course. I don't want that, my brain makes me think that I want it. My brain has been the devil on my shoulder for a large part of my life. Addiction is nothing new to me. My wife is lucky enough to be along for this ride and she doesn't deserve it. Back in the nineties, I was able to break the cocaine habit in a matter of hours... I just moved away from it. With nicotine, it's everywhere... no escape geographically. Every day is supposed to be easier but it's not. It varies. Some days are easy, some days are very hard. I am very thankful for this website and for the ability to just get some thoughts down on "paper." Thank you for this. I know I will win. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm proud of me, and I'm proud of all of you. I'll be back.
Cheers,
Codycode
"The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Cody it is great to have a new quitter among us, but until you post roll and commit to quit for the day you are a lurking troll so go to the welcome center read what you need to do to post roll and DO IT NOW :rolleyes:
For the sake of your wife and your marriage take your rage and other shit out on us. She didn't do anything to deserve your shit. You sure as hell wont get her pregnant being a raving ass hole.
DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT AND I DID IT!! :lol:
'welcome'