KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Snoopy on August 07, 2009, 11:01:00 AM
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Greetings all. Great site, great purpose.
I'm 38, married, 2 young kids, and kicking the habit again!
Picked up Kodiak in the early 90's when I went through basic training and couldn't get away with smoking. Kicked the habit in 2005 when my soon to be wife finally caught on to my ninja act(new term I found on the site). Knowing our wedding plans could be in jeopardy, I quit cold turkey and used some of the fake mint chew to get through tough times. (like float trips when it was just natural and others around me were chewing.)
Managed to stay off 3 years until had the worst day at work ever in Nov 2007. Went out for a drive with a friend and had one of his smokes. Although I didn't lose my job, it changed significantly and found I had lots of time on my hands which became lot's of smoke breaks. Eventually smoke lead to chew and I was back on.
Changed jobs but found too many excuses (usually stress) to quit, although did manage to drop the smokes.
My wife has repeatedly caught me and it has been a vicious cycle. (Stress keeps me chewing but the chewing is adding to the stress at home)
I've managed to cut back to about 3 cans a week and have been trying the nicotine gum, but still go back to sneaking a chew at work or at night, so that's not been succesful. Finally ordered some of the Mint Snuff this week and it came in yesterday. Tomorrow (Saturday 8/8/09) is my official quit day, that I announced to my wife this morning, but having read through some of the other posts on here, I'm feeling a little better about walking down to the restroom and dumping my "last can" of Kodiak now.
Thanks to those who established the site and all those who have shared their stories, it certainly helps as I get ready to take that long road again.
Thanks
Jack
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Right on man. I am on day 2 , so we are in the same boat. The last 2 days whenever i get to craving, i just look at my daughter whos 5 and think about when she gets married someday i want to be able to walk her down the aisle. If you need anything hit me up. I am always available online or by phone.
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Thanks Tapout, nice to have someone on the same quit schedule. Been here before so that helps a little but lot different in my life too so expect new challenges. Same back at you, happy to make myself available phone or online.
As an update, moved my quit day to today. Headed down to restroom, put one huge last plug in, call it milestone so I could recognize time of last chew, and dumped can down toilet. Last act of the ceremony was to take my own dump on the kodiak I dumped out.
My quit - 10:25 am on 7 August 09
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Thanks Tapout, nice to have someone on the same quit schedule. Been here before so that helps a little but lot different in my life too so expect new challenges. Same back at you, happy to make myself available phone or online.
As an update, moved my quit day to today. Headed down to restroom, put one huge last plug in, call it milestone so I could recognize time of last chew, and dumped can down toilet. Last act of the ceremony was to take my own dump on the kodiak I dumped out.
My quit - 10:25 am on 7 August 09
Fantastic Snoopy. Welcome to the quit. You know how bad the first few days/weeks/months suck so embrace it. Embrace the suck. You got a lot of people here who have your back so give your word every day, and don't chew. It's that simple. Tomorrow, repeat.
Here is your quit group, November 09. Some bad ass quitters in here and some quitters starting over. Post a day 1.
index.php?showtopic=2596 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=2596)
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Great, it's a very powerful feeling knowing I have the strength of others who have been down this path. As I'm sure others can relate, your spouse can support you but they really don't understand.
I'll head over and post day 1.
Thanks!
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Welcome Snoopy look forward to quitting with you. I have been reading everything I can on this site for the past few hours. I waited until my fifth day to join and I am heading into my first weekend without the nicotine in I cant tell you how long. Which I am sure you are in the same boat! Looking forward to posting on Monday with you that we successfuly made it thru the weekend. Good luck and stay busy!
Wayne
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Snoopy have not seen your Monday roll call yet just checking in on you to make sure you are ok!
Wayne
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Thanks for checking in on me Wayne. Made it and just roll called with flying colors. Long weekend and Sunday/Monday especially tough since the in-laws stay over to watch kids. I'm here, rough one yesterday but had my wife sit down and read the spousal support pages and withdrawal pages since she apparently had not. Had a piece of nic gum in my hand but was eventually pitched.
Sorry if this was a repeat, had started typing up to vent last night and don't know that I ever submitted.
Anywho, Happy Monday and thanks again for checking in Wayne!
Jack
'na na' - Just seemed appropriate this morning.
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Thanks for checking in on me Wayne. Made it and just roll called with flying colors. Long weekend and Sunday/Monday especially tough since the in-laws stay over to watch kids. I'm here, rough one yesterday but had my wife sit down and read the spousal support pages and withdrawal pages since she apparently had not. Had a piece of nic gum in my hand but was eventually pitched.
Sorry if this was a repeat, had started typing up to vent last night and don't know that I ever submitted.
Anywho, Happy Monday and thanks again for checking in Wayne!
Jack
'na na' - Just seemed appropriate this morning.
Awesome! Glad to see your roll call! Very tough weekend. My wife has given up on my "I'll never dip or smoke again promises"! Cant say I blame her. So I got alot of proving to do.
Congrats on the first weekend. I hear the other weekends get easier. We shall see.
Have a great Monday.
Wayne
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On to Day 5 now. Just ordered some more of the Mint Snuff pouches, like that best of the fakes I've tried and helps keep mind off the oral aspect.
Actually woke up to the alarm this morning at 5 and although snoozed a bit, did manage to get downstairs and exercise for a few minutes, which is a step in the right direction. Reclaim some of that dipping time I no longer need.
Jack
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On to Day 5 now. Just ordered some more of the Mint Snuff pouches, like that best of the fakes I've tried and helps keep mind off the oral aspect.
Actually woke up to the alarm this morning at 5 and although snoozed a bit, did manage to get downstairs and exercise for a few minutes, which is a step in the right direction. Reclaim some of that dipping time I no longer need.
Jack
Sounds like we are feeling about the same! Congrats Jack!
Lets kick this crap for another day! 'boob'
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Unless it's frowned upon, just using my Introduction as a rolling journal of the journey.
Tough night last night. Wife and I fought, not sure how much of that I contributed to because of current state or just other issues that have built up over time. I know my old me is coming back out and sure that contributes because it is like someone new is there suddenly. Either way, couldn't sleep and 2 year old son made sure that even if I could have, I wasn't going to.
I don't have my wife's inate ability to go to sleep even if upset or fighting, I just lay there mulling it over.
Cravings haven't been as hard as I remembered from last time, but of course, I'm substituting the fake mint chew a lot more up front this time, which leads me to believe it's more oral habit for me than the nic, although I know its both.
One thing I have noticed is the extra stimulant is gone. I have a 30+ mile drive to work each way and already caught myself dozing off more than once each day this week. Definitely a concern, even went heavier on coffee this morning with sugar, and that didn't even help. Obviously my chew was filling that void for when I was running on my usual 5 or less hours of sleep.
Should be a fun day, might put mousepad in front of keyboard so my head bounces off it instead of the desk. :)
Ya'll have agreat quit day.
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Unless it's frowned upon, just using my Introduction as a rolling journal of the journey.
Tough night last night. Wife and I fought, not sure how much of that I contributed to because of current state or just other issues that have built up over time. I know my old me is coming back out and sure that contributes because it is like someone new is there suddenly. Either way, couldn't sleep and 2 year old son made sure that even if I could have, I wasn't going to.
I don't have my wife's inate ability to go to sleep even if upset or fighting, I just lay there mulling it over.
Cravings haven't been as hard as I remembered from last time, but of course, I'm substituting the fake mint chew a lot more up front this time, which leads me to believe it's more oral habit for me than the nic, although I know its both.
One thing I have noticed is the extra stimulant is gone. I have a 30+ mile drive to work each way and already caught myself dozing off more than once each day this week. Definitely a concern, even went heavier on coffee this morning with sugar, and that didn't even help. Obviously my chew was filling that void for when I was running on my usual 5 or less hours of sleep.
Should be a fun day, might put mousepad in front of keyboard so my head bounces off it instead of the desk. :)
Ya'll have agreat quit day.
Hang in there Snoop!!!! Went through alot of the same stuff, it will get better, I promise!!
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Unless it's frowned upon, just using my Introduction as a rolling journal of the journey.
Tough night last night. Wife and I fought, not sure how much of that I contributed to because of current state or just other issues that have built up over time. I know my old me is coming back out and sure that contributes because it is like someone new is there suddenly. Either way, couldn't sleep and 2 year old son made sure that even if I could have, I wasn't going to.
I don't have my wife's inate ability to go to sleep even if upset or fighting, I just lay there mulling it over.Â
Cravings haven't been as hard as I remembered from last time, but of course, I'm substituting the fake mint chew a lot more up front this time, which leads me to believe it's more oral habit for me than the nic, although I know its both.
One thing I have noticed is the extra stimulant is gone. I have a 30+ mile drive to work each way and already caught myself dozing off more than once each day this week. Definitely a concern, even went heavier on coffee this morning with sugar, and that didn't even help. Obviously my chew was filling that void for when I was running on my usual 5 or less hours of sleep.
Should be a fun day, might put mousepad in front of keyboard so my head bounces off it instead of the desk. :)
Ya'll have agreat quit day.
Hang in there Snoop!!!! Went through alot of the same stuff, it will get better, I promise!!
Scooter's right, It will get A LOT BETTER!!!. You have to give it time. It takes time for your body to get over all of the abuse you gave it by putting that shit in your lip day after day. Power through this Better days are ahead!!!
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Thanks, looking forward and counting on it getting better. Some of this is the dip, some of this is problems put off and highlighted because of the dip. Seems I have more time and attention to focus on them now, so trying to knock 'em out. Appreciate the support!
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Day 7 - Much better night last night, wife and I made up and I finally got some well needed sleep. Also received my new order of the Mint Pouches. I was down to 3 left and those have really been a nice way to keep the focus on getting past the nic first, then the oral cravings.
Fog has definitely been bad but today seems a little lighter. 'drool'
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Felt left out without an avatar so went and made one. Seemed fitting to my attitude of late. 'Finger'
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Day 14 - not too bad, although I've probably picked up a new mint fake bandit habit. Those have really helped keep my mind off not having chew in the lip. Obviously no high from them but does help replace the habit of when stressed, pop in a pinch.
Glad to see Tapout and Professor Pinch are still on track, as with the rest of the group.
Just adding my 2 cents as I login for my 14th day, 2 weeks down, so many to go and looking forward to living those without the habit.
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Brother, the fatigue will lessen... Granted, it still gets to me rarely, since I used to toss one in when drowsy... However, it will lessen.
Lemme put it to you this way...
Going cold turkey on dip is like running out of energy drinks right before that cram session... You're tired as balls.
It'll pass though.
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Boy that sounds familiar. Every time the eyes would nod, pop in a pinch for a pick me up. Not anymore.
Another milestone today, although not trying to get ahead of myself. First trip back on the road for work, so alone, since I quit. 2 hours in the car after the airport and still quit. 19 Days down!
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Hadn't updated in a while so thought I would just add a page to my journal. 29 days and still going.
Just got back last night from 2nd business trip in past 2 weeks. Still a struggle but leaned on the fake mint stuff when I felt weak and otherwise just tried to keep busy.
Hard to believe 29 days have already flown by. The urge is still there, especially long drives or when I'm dozing but I've managed. Of course, as usual, think I've eaten everything in front of me and put back on a few more pounds, but one problem at a time.
'Popcorn'
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Back today after my 3rd week of travel in a row. Knew that was going to be a difficult time and test for me but happy to say made it through with flying colors. 36 days now. Breath minty fresh after all the mint chew but still consider that the lessor of 2 evils for now. Anywho, keep the quit on.
Jack
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Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.
Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.
Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)
So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.
Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.
Night all.
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Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.
Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.
Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)
So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.
Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.
Night all.
Snoopy,
Don't be so hard on yourself, you made it to the HOF! But what I can tell you is that the journey doesn't end at day 100. This is just the beginning...
Come back every day and post roll with your November brothers and sisters.
Go into December, January and February and post your support there to help out the newbies. If you feel like you should be more involved, do it now.
Don't be afraid! Congrats on the HOF!!!!
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Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.
Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.
Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)
So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.
Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.
Night all.
I know where you are coming from and it is ok. I've been called out a couple of times for being too negative and I have never posted a HOF because for myself in some way I am not there yet.
The power of KTC is very, very strong and I believe in it, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. It is ok to find your level. We can't all be Flashman or SamCat. Just keep coming back, and just stay quit.
You can do it. And if you need help, people here will help you. Promise.
Vidocq (aka Jack)
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Greetings. My name is Jack, I'm 46 and have been fighting nicotine for years, really since college and the Army. Back in 2008 I quit with the help of this site and the great people on the site and managed to stay clean of any nicotine for 8 years. I have a number of excuses but last year I slipped when my job started having me travel and my marriage was not in the greatest of places. Excuses aside, I slipped and fell off the wagon. Unfortunately, over the past year, I haven't made progress getting off the nicotine and have managed to further ruin my marriage by not addressing it and making good on my promises. Regrettably it may be too late for my marriage now, but I am making the committment to myself, and my family, to beat this monster again.
Today is my Day 1. I'm throwing out the nicotine gum, just threw out the last of my chew and making good on the promises I've failed at miserably, both to myself and to my family, to get clean again.
Thanks
Jack
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Greetings. My name is Jack, I'm 46 and have been fighting nicotine for years, really since college and the Army. Back in 2008 I quit with the help of this site and the great people on the site and managed to stay clean of any nicotine for 8 years. I have a number of excuses but last year I slipped when my job started having me travel and my marriage was not in the greatest of places. Excuses aside, I slipped and fell off the wagon. Unfortunately, over the past year, I haven't made progress getting off the nicotine and have managed to further ruin my marriage by not addressing it and making good on my promises. Regrettably it may be too late for my marriage now, but I am making the committment to myself, and my family, to beat this monster again.
Today is my Day 1. I'm throwing out the nicotine gum, just threw out the last of my chew and making good on the promises I've failed at miserably, both to myself and to my family, to get clean again.
Thanks
Jack
Jack - if you were here before, in 2008, then you will need to talk to an admin and see about locating your old account. Multiple accounts aren't permitted, and are considered a bannable offense.
After that, you will need to answer some questions, both in your old group and in your new (January 18) group:
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What are you going to do differently this time?
You might want to read this post (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9785911&t=11541810) from wildirish317 about answering the three questions... they are intended to help you with self-examination, and the answers will help your group understand if you're serious about your quit.
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Thanks Samrs, certainly not trying to get in trouble or banned, had hoped to get back on the road to being clean again. I'll work on my answers and will see if I can find where I had previously posted to recover my old user name.
Thanks
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Good for you man. Sack up and get back in here. Get yourself clean.
Cautionary tale for you new guys. You think hitting the hall at 100 days means you're free? You think it means you kicked the Nic Bitch's ass? You don't need to be here and post roll? I'm telling you. I say it over and over. You are an addict. You'll always be an addict. You can't give that fucking limp dick addict in you one single fucking shred of an excuse that you can ever "have just one." He Nic Bitch is waiting to lure you back in because she only has one mission. One. To get you addicted, keep you addicted and watch you die.
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Thanks Bulldog. I appreciate the support and hoping to get my account figured out so I don't get myself banned from the site. Tried calling my work EAP for support, that didn't go anywhere, and checked insurance, nothing really there, so other than just adding more frustration to a few hours into my quit, I have quickly realized this is still the best way to quit!
Thanks!
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And back to the 3 questions Samrs posted:
1. What happened?
I've reflected on this every day since I fell back into the can and honestly I do not have a 100% answer. The simple answer is stress became overwhelming and I did not recognize the patterns from before that would trigger it. In hindsight, I recall chewing on straws and should have recognzied the symptoms. I also did not have a support mechanism in place. Due to the challenges in my marriage, going to my wife to ask for help or support didn't seem viable, but I also failed to ask anyone else for help. For example, I quit posting my quit on here and celebrating the success. I should have kept that as a part of my routine, to remind myself that it wasn't easy to quit, but it sure is easy to fall back into.
2. Why did it happen?
I allowed myself to fall back in, to forget the pain and effort the first time I quit and convince myself I could quit again when I wanted.
3. What are you going to do differently this time?
I'm hoping to get my quit on again with help from my fellow quitters on the site and this time, will stay connected to the site instead of thinking I've got it all under control.
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whats up man, glad to see you are quitting again. Don't forget to get a hold of an admin like Samrs mentioned. Let me know if you need anything to help out and make sure you're successful this time around.
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Thanks Big Red. Already heard from someone helping search for my previous account so we can get that all straightened out. Back to the quit!
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Glad to hear you are quitting again and hope you know that you can have my digits anytime if it helps... just send me a PM. I'm quitting with you today!
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Still me, just found my old account thanks to help from Jared. All posts going forward will be on my original account but did not see how I could delete what I had done so far.
Thanks
Jack
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Still me, just found my old account thanks to help from Jared. All posts going forward will be on my original account but did not see how I could delete what I had done so far.
Thanks
Jack
I believe an admin can combine posts into your Snoopy account.
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Thanks Nomore will see if I can request that.
Jack
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Thanks Nomore will see if I can request that.
Jack
Done. Welcome back
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Thanks Rewire, will be sure I don't leave so I don't have to come back.
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And back to the 3 questions Samrs posted:
1. What happened?
I've reflected on this every day since I fell back into the can and honestly I do not have a 100% answer. The simple answer is stress became overwhelming and I did not recognize the patterns from before that would trigger it. In hindsight, I recall chewing on straws and should have recognzied the symptoms. I also did not have a support mechanism in place. Due to the challenges in my marriage, going to my wife to ask for help or support didn't seem viable, but I also failed to ask anyone else for help. For example, I quit posting my quit on here and celebrating the success. I should have kept that as a part of my routine, to remind myself that it wasn't easy to quit, but it sure is easy to fall back into.
2. Why did it happen?
I allowed myself to fall back in, to forget the pain and effort the first time I quit and convince myself I could quit again when I wanted.
3. What are you going to do differently this time?
I'm hoping to get my quit on again with help from my fellow quitters on the site and this time, will stay connected to the site instead of thinking I've got it all under control.
Cavers always fascinate me because I never want to be one and I've only been quit for 2 years now. I'm making up for decades of nicotine use.
Did you get digits and use them the last time you quit? Did you ever trade personal messages with anyone here? Promising to quit on a forum is one thing - promising to quit on a forum where folks can ask you on your phone why you go missing is another thing. That to me is how a quitter "gets control" - by making yourself really accountable.
I quit with you today! Stranger999 - day 753.
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Happy to say that I already have more digits in 24 hours than I collected the entire previous 8 years. That's my fault before, wasn't like folks weren't offering, it was me being an idiot thinking I didn't need that type of support.
They are all excuses, nothing more, as we aren't forced to put that crap in our mouth. So wife or no wife, no more excuses and moving forward without this poison.
Thanks for quitting with me Stranger999.
Jack - Day 2
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Happy to say that I already have more digits in 24 hours than I collected the entire previous 8 years. That's my fault before, wasn't like folks weren't offering, it was me being an idiot thinking I didn't need that type of support.
They are all excuses, nothing more, as we aren't forced to put that crap in our mouth. So wife or no wife, no more excuses and moving forward without this poison.
Thanks for quitting with me Stranger999.
Jack - Day 2
Jack, just the same kind of stuff already posted from all the great BAQs above, but know if you need help, you have my number already. Text me your day count like the other 20+ who do. Text or call if in a tough spot. Use the tools that are here for everyone. Last time you did not use all the tools, just a few, dont make that mistake again. Protect that quit you got going on. Make it real, make it happen, Every Damn Day
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Just using this as a place to keep up and capture my thoughts. Have to admit today, Day 3, is the roughest so far. I was even slow posting to roll because I wasn't sure my head was in it. Happy to say I've posted roll and quit for another day. Thanks to those who have been texting and helping me keep it on track.
I know this is one day at a time but a reality of how my brain works is I worry about the future. Heck I worry about things I have no control over and at 46, I'm not sure that's going to suddenly stop. So instead of trying to change it or pretend like its not problem for me, I'm just going to tackle it head on.
Worries for the foreseeable future:
Have my next business trip coming up, first since quitting and know its going to be rough
Marriage not improving, don't want to post too much on here but suspect I'll be scheduling counseling for myself and kids, probably lawyer next
I have another surgery next month that will probably have me down a day or two - will have to share the story of surgery earlier this year
Job in the air currently, contract ends in 2 weeks and still do not have full time work after that
Yeah, I know, list is nothing special and know people have it way worse, but its just my attempt to put it all out there and address it versus letting it bottle up.
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Just using this as a place to keep up and capture my thoughts. Have to admit today, Day 3, is the roughest so far. I was even slow posting to roll because I wasn't sure my head was in it. Happy to say I've posted roll and quit for another day. Thanks to those who have been texting and helping me keep it on track.
I know this is one day at a time but a reality of how my brain works is I worry about the future. Heck I worry about things I have no control over and at 46, I'm not sure that's going to suddenly stop. So instead of trying to change it or pretend like its not problem for me, I'm just going to tackle it head on.
Worries for the foreseeable future:
Have my next business trip coming up, first since quitting and know its going to be rough
Marriage not improving, don't want to post too much on here but suspect I'll be scheduling counseling for myself and kids, probably lawyer next
I have another surgery next month that will probably have me down a day or two - will have to share the story of surgery earlier this year
Job in the air currently, contract ends in 2 weeks and still do not have full time work after that
Yeah, I know, list is nothing special and know people have it way worse, but its just my attempt to put it all out there and address it versus letting it bottle up.
Snoop, great job on jotting things down. It really is therapeutic to vent and that's what we are here for. You've got a lot going on and I'm sure the stress level is through the roof. Two bits of advice that I can give: 1. Take care of yourself first. If you are healthy then you can work on mending the fences with family. 2. Nicotine is not a solution to any of your problems. Nicotine is another problem to compound the stress level. While you may not be able to control your job situation, marriage, etc.....the good news is YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR NICOTINE CONSUMPTION!. So take this bitch head on and you win this battle today, then tomorrow, then the next after! Winning feels good!
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Just using this as a place to keep up and capture my thoughts. Have to admit today, Day 3, is the roughest so far. I was even slow posting to roll because I wasn't sure my head was in it. Happy to say I've posted roll and quit for another day. Thanks to those who have been texting and helping me keep it on track.
I know this is one day at a time but a reality of how my brain works is I worry about the future. Heck I worry about things I have no control over and at 46, I'm not sure that's going to suddenly stop. So instead of trying to change it or pretend like its not problem for me, I'm just going to tackle it head on.
Worries for the foreseeable future:
Have my next business trip coming up, first since quitting and know its going to be rough
Marriage not improving, don't want to post too much on here but suspect I'll be scheduling counseling for myself and kids, probably lawyer next
I have another surgery next month that will probably have me down a day or two - will have to share the story of surgery earlier this year
Job in the air currently, contract ends in 2 weeks and still do not have full time work after that
Yeah, I know, list is nothing special and know people have it way worse, but its just my attempt to put it all out there and address it versus letting it bottle up.
Snoop, great job on jotting things down. It really is therapeutic to vent and that's what we are here for. You've got a lot going on and I'm sure the stress level is through the roof. Two bits of advice that I can give: 1. Take care of yourself first. If you are healthy then you can work on mending the fences with family. 2. Nicotine is not a solution to any of your problems. Nicotine is another problem to compound the stress level. While you may not be able to control your job situation, marriage, etc.....the good news is YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR NICOTINE CONSUMPTION!. So take this bitch head on and you win this battle today, then tomorrow, then the next after! Winning feels good!
Thanks Jeff, excellent points and guidance!!
Jack
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Good morning all. Just a little rant for the day. It's been 7 days. Been here before and honestly, in some respects I think it was easier this time, in other respects more difficult.
Because it looks like divorce is just around the corner, I think it would be in my best interest to curb what I post on here. That being said, that means i lose a major tool in my quit arsenal but is what it is.
Anyone already down the road of quit who managed to quit while going through a divorce with kids involved? Would love to hear your suggestions on how you stayed quit.
Thanks all!
Jack aka Snoopy