KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: CastleHusky on July 29, 2014, 12:45:00 AM
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Good Evening Gents,
I spent the entire day surfing the internet. I woke up for the 7th consecutive day with a sore throat, an ear ache, a stiff neck, and a hopeless feeling that I've been killing myself over the last 7 years. Naturally I went straight to Google and spent literally the entire day researching different types of oral cancers and by then end of it felt more confused and lost than when I started, until I found this place.
I bought my first tin at 18, and for no reason other than I hated cigarettes so I might as well do the other one right? At first it was great, I was eager to find venues where I could chew and loved the buzz I got from it, until it went away. Then, being a sophomore in college I realized the buzz came back when I drank (which let's be honest, was every night) so I started chewing more regularly. Feeling like I was digging myself a hole, I quit and felt pretty good about it.
Until I moved in with 5 heavy dippers. In a setting like that, I feel like anyone would break. I always felt bad for the homeless folks who would raid the dumpster for aluminum cans because all they'd come out with were crumpled up Coors Light cans filled with chew spit. I picked up where I left off with no intention of quitting again until I ran into attempt number 2.
Fall of my senior year of college I studied abroad in an English castle and had no idea that chew was outlawed so I was forced to quit, but luckily I was so busy learning about this new place that I had no established habits and really didn't suffer quitting. But, as any one of you who has been forced to quit not on your own accord surely knows, it isn't real unless you're doing it for yourself. What do you think the first thing I did was when I got home 4 months later? Drove straight to the corner store and picked up some Grizzly Wintergreen. Things went the same as usual for the next 8 months or so until I was offered a position working on the same study abroad program I'd just been on.
This time I was prepared, I brought a number of logs with me and found a Swedish importer, but eventually the hassle wasn't worth it and I spent the better part of that year chew free. Came home, bought a tin.
I've learned a couple things through all of this. One, being what I stated before, that you have to want to quit and another is that when you cave, you fall hard. Each time I've started up again my habit has increased ten-fold. In the beginning I was taking tiny lippers, which grew to fat lippers, and then the occasional horseshoe, followed by an upper and a downer when I was drinking and finally to where I am now. I've been home now for just under 2 years, and I've been dipping the whole time but over the last 6 months or so I began to crave the buzz so badly that I'd go almost the entire day without a dip, maybe a baby one in the morning but then at night I'd throw a full upper in with a horseshoe below. It was about a third of a tin per time and I'd do this back-to-back-to-back until the tin was gone and do it again the next day. I have no idea what that amount of nicotine at one time does to a person's body.
So here I am, 25 years old, gorgeous girlfriend who I refused to quit for, terrified that I may have already killed myself, but ready to quit. Do I have cancer? Maybe, probably not, but maybe. Regardless, when I leave this life I'm going to be damn sure it is without a fucking dip in my mouth. That's a wrap on day 2 of the rest of my life and I could not feel more grateful to have found a community of people in the same boat as me, because it's going to be a long road ahead guys and I'm going to need some help but I know at the end of each day I'll be able to say, I am quit.
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awesome post, CH. i see you posted roll first. that means you have been reading here and understand the process.
post day 3 tomorrow first thing in the morning and keep your word again. keep reading all you can here.
it gets so much better, but you got some tough days ahead. we can help you through it. just shout if you need anything.
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CH,
Great intro welcome to the family. You get what you put in here at KTC. Continue to read everything on this site. Know your enemy. And reach out to us. We've been in your shoes before.
Air Force ADDICT
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Excellent post CastleHusky..
I had a lot of the same feelings when I quit, I had so much anxiety about the damage I had already done to myself, I would drain my iphones battery by turning on the flashlight feature to check every nook and cranny of my mouth looking for signs that something was amiss..
We can't change the fact at this point that we did dip.. thats why we are all here, what we can influence is whether or not we are going to be quit today..
I quit with you today CastleHusky.. and heres to ridding ourselves of anxiety about reading that label on the tin telling us its going to kill us, heres to living a life without being controlled by a weed.. And heres to doing yourself and that beautiful girlfriend of yours proud by honoring your word and staying quit
-Ben
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Welcome in bro...
Don't worry about the long road ahead. Just concentrate on today. You can deal with today right? Moving into day 3 and getting close to that 72 hr mark where nicotine is gone from your body. That's badass man...
You've come to the right place.
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Do yourself a favor and read your intro as often as you can. First because you obviously put a lot of time into it and it was heartfelt. But Second and most important it will remind you where you were. You never want to go back here again. You seem off to a good start, good luck.
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Thanks for the welcome wagon everyone. I appreciate all the support and just knowing that there are thousands who have been successful whipping this thing before gives me that extra boost in confidence to know I can do it too.
On various intro's and other pages a lot of you have recommended reading through the website so I've been reading as much as I can and it's amazing the stuff that is showing up in these posts. Over the last several months when I started to realize that I've got a problem I often found myself thinking, "I'm definitely the only person in the world who has ever done it like this" but the more I read the more of my disgusting habits I'm seeing showing up in what everyone else has to say. It shows you just how sick nicotine is and what it can do to you.
I'm getting to the tail end of day 3 here and it's an awesome feeling knowing my body is going to be rid of this thing for the final time, but I know what comes next can be even harder; the urge to throw in a fat lipper without the effects on your body to remind you what it does to you. Well I'm putting this here as a reminder: it sucks, it's not worth it, you're sweaty enough as it is, your breath smells horrible, and if you ever want to kiss your girl again and have her enjoy it the only way that is going to happen is dip free.
Thanks again for the welcoming and the support everyone.
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Thanks for the welcome wagon everyone. I appreciate all the support and just knowing that there are thousands who have been successful whipping this thing before gives me that extra boost in confidence to know I can do it too.
On various intro's and other pages a lot of you have recommended reading through the website so I've been reading as much as I can and it's amazing the stuff that is showing up in these posts. Over the last several months when I started to realize that I've got a problem I often found myself thinking, "I'm definitely the only person in the world who has ever done it like this" but the more I read the more of my disgusting habits I'm seeing showing up in what everyone else has to say. It shows you just how sick nicotine is and what it can do to you.
I'm getting to the tail end of day 3 here and it's an awesome feeling knowing my body is going to be rid of this thing for the final time, but I know what comes next can be even harder; the urge to throw in a fat lipper without the effects on your body to remind you what it does to you. Well I'm putting this here as a reminder: it sucks, it's not worth it, you're sweaty enough as it is, your breath smells horrible, and if you ever want to kiss your girl again and have her enjoy it the only way that is going to happen is dip free.
Thanks again for the welcoming and the support everyone.
Thank you for making my quit stronger.
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Thanks for the welcome wagon everyone. I appreciate all the support and just knowing that there are thousands who have been successful whipping this thing before gives me that extra boost in confidence to know I can do it too.
On various intro's and other pages a lot of you have recommended reading through the website so I've been reading as much as I can and it's amazing the stuff that is showing up in these posts. Over the last several months when I started to realize that I've got a problem I often found myself thinking, "I'm definitely the only person in the world who has ever done it like this" but the more I read the more of my disgusting habits I'm seeing showing up in what everyone else has to say. It shows you just how sick nicotine is and what it can do to you.
I'm getting to the tail end of day 3 here and it's an awesome feeling knowing my body is going to be rid of this thing for the final time, but I know what comes next can be even harder; the urge to throw in a fat lipper without the effects on your body to remind you what it does to you. Well I'm putting this here as a reminder: it sucks, it's not worth it, you're sweaty enough as it is, your breath smells horrible, and if you ever want to kiss your girl again and have her enjoy it the only way that is going to happen is dip free.
Thanks again for the welcoming and the support everyone.
Thank you for making my quit stronger.
welcome EH - post everyday and express how you feel on your intro page. Keep your quit strong, express your feelings when you need to. I could do 7 years of dip with my eyes closed...I'm @ day 44 after 34 years and feel with a new person. This will be so worth it pal. Quit game on - Old ES
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Thanks for the welcome wagon everyone. I appreciate all the support and just knowing that there are thousands who have been successful whipping this thing before gives me that extra boost in confidence to know I can do it too.
On various intro's and other pages a lot of you have recommended reading through the website so I've been reading as much as I can and it's amazing the stuff that is showing up in these posts. Over the last several months when I started to realize that I've got a problem I often found myself thinking, "I'm definitely the only person in the world who has ever done it like this" but the more I read the more of my disgusting habits I'm seeing showing up in what everyone else has to say. It shows you just how sick nicotine is and what it can do to you.
I'm getting to the tail end of day 3 here and it's an awesome feeling knowing my body is going to be rid of this thing for the final time, but I know what comes next can be even harder; the urge to throw in a fat lipper without the effects on your body to remind you what it does to you. Well I'm putting this here as a reminder: it sucks, it's not worth it, you're sweaty enough as it is, your breath smells horrible, and if you ever want to kiss your girl again and have her enjoy it the only way that is going to happen is dip free.
Thanks again for the welcoming and the support everyone.
Thank you for making my quit stronger.
welcome EH - post everyday and express how you feel on your intro page. Keep your quit strong, express your feelings when you need to. I could do 7 years of dip with my eyes closed...I'm @ day 44 after 34 years and feel with a new person. This will be so worth it pal. Quit game on - Old ES
That's amazing partner. Your on your way. Way to go. Your strong and you can do it I beleive in u.
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Thanks for the welcome wagon everyone. I appreciate all the support and just knowing that there are thousands who have been successful whipping this thing before gives me that extra boost in confidence to know I can do it too.
On various intro's and other pages a lot of you have recommended reading through the website so I've been reading as much as I can and it's amazing the stuff that is showing up in these posts. Over the last several months when I started to realize that I've got a problem I often found myself thinking, "I'm definitely the only person in the world who has ever done it like this" but the more I read the more of my disgusting habits I'm seeing showing up in what everyone else has to say. It shows you just how sick nicotine is and what it can do to you.
I'm getting to the tail end of day 3 here and it's an awesome feeling knowing my body is going to be rid of this thing for the final time, but I know what comes next can be even harder; the urge to throw in a fat lipper without the effects on your body to remind you what it does to you. Well I'm putting this here as a reminder: it sucks, it's not worth it, you're sweaty enough as it is, your breath smells horrible, and if you ever want to kiss your girl again and have her enjoy it the only way that is going to happen is dip free.
Thanks again for the welcoming and the support everyone.
Thank you for making my quit stronger.
welcome EH - post everyday and express how you feel on your intro page. Keep your quit strong, express your feelings when you need to. I could do 7 years of dip with my eyes closed...I'm @ day 44 after 34 years and feel with a new person. This will be so worth it pal. Quit game on - Old ES
That's amazing partner. Your on your way. Way to go. Your strong and you can do it I beleive in u.
Congrats on your Quit, castle!
you remind me of... me. Very early in my quit I was fearful about becoming complacent. That fear has served me well... embrace it, remember it... because you must never forget you are an addict. The nic bitch will try to convince you that putting the can down after just one is possible. I listened to that voice several times over the many years of active addiction... and every time just 1 led to - just until this can is done, which led to - until can #2 was done.... right on back to where I started. For you and I there is no just one. For you and I there is quit and not quit. black and white, quit on/quit off.
The secret to staying quit is in the quote: "Those that forget history are doomed to repeat it". Stick around, keep posting roll/honoring your promise/repeating EVERY DAY. Stay active on this site, help a few others along the way... watching them start in their own quit will remind you of the battles you fought and won to get to where you are.
Proud to be quit with you,
30
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Welcome CastleHusky! Do this now and hit your future nic free. I wish I would have quit when I was your age. I'll quit with you today!
mb289
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Welcome CastleHusky! Do this now and hit your future nic free. I wish I would have quit when I was your age. I'll quit with you today!
mb289
This is an awesome intro. 25 years old and wise. Don't fuck it up castle. I quit with ya.
Mogul
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Your amazing castle dude
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Keep it up, Castle. It's worth it.
Proud to be quit with you.
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Bad ass man. You definitely made my quit stronger. Stay active, drink a lot of water. I am 26 and quit, and it is tough as hell. But it is so worth it. PM me if you need digits or support. Quit with you today.
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Bad ass man. You definitely made my quit stronger. Stay active, drink a lot of water. I am 26 and quit, and it is tough as hell. But it is so worth it. PM me if you need digits or support. Quit with you today.
So few words, and yet so powerful...Nice post JT
Castle...you're doing this. Keep doing this.
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Just wanted to throw my support to Castle as a former Husky myself. CH keep it going......Quit with you today!
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Fucking love your passion Castle, you have "leader" written all over you. Keep posting the +1's, keep speaking your mind, and keep quitting.
But I also advise on listening to the vets, one theory here is that we need to see day 365 to experience one trip around the sun before we might fully understand this. Every quitter is different, and every cave is different. 40% of your HoF month will make it to 100 days, and you'll have days like this many times until then.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that this thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits along with career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in, only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
This is a great great thread.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
This is a great great thread.
Just swell.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
This is a great great thread.
Just swell.
Great post, Great quit, great quitter..
Keep rockin it Castle, I am loving the way you "hang it out there" and I love this post.. Proud to be quit with you bud.
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
This is a great great thread.
Just swell.
Great post, Great quit, great quitter..
Keep rockin it Castle, I am loving the way you "hang it out there" and I love this post.. Proud to be quit with you bud.
Hot Damn. That's some good bread right there. Think I might have popped a boner.
Quit on...
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Just over two weeks into this thing and it has been a whirlwind. It truly gets harder each time you give this evil thing up, and I think that is a testament to now being the right time and the last time, for all of us. In the past, I've been in transitional periods in life so I've been too busy to really notice the physical toll that thing takes, but over the last two weeks I've been in the middle of finishing up my last college credits and career searching and it has left my day completely open to feeling like a sorry sack of shit. Being static like that is dangerous and the void has got to be filled with something. Fuck, ever going through that again.
It's kind of funny looking at the intro's from some of the hardened vets barking advice at the sick babies because you get to read that they too felt awful, were terrified of caving, and soaked up any tips that came in only to have risen to a point where all of that has been converted into quit fuel. It's nice to be able to (I realize we're all different) have a timeline for the things I'm going through and where it's going to wind up. At just two weeks, I already feel like I probably possess some useful advice for guys who haven't dumped their last tin yet, and just caring about the quit of someone else is a powerful tool. There is no way I could talk someone into forgoing their future quit plans to quit now, and then be a big enough hypocrite to go and cave. What kind of person would that make me? That's probably why so many of us have so much animosity when someone caves, we heard the same poisonous sales pitch from nicotine, we fought tooth and nail to ignore it, and you deserve to suffer through it too; you haven't earned the right to give up.
Here we are, barely started and the urges are already beginning to drastically diminish. Kind of makes you feel like an idiot for putting quitting off for so long for the fear of how hard it will be. Right away I avoided triggers because I didn't think I could handle it, but lately I have been trying attack every trigger I can head on as often as I can, because it feels great to continuously watch nicotine's lumpy ass sit back down every time I deny her and because the more I face these things the quicker my body will rewire and forget all about mowing the lawn with a fat lip.
Fueled by hatred, not letting my guard down, and going to keep fighting this thing every damn day.
Fantastic post.
That it is.
This is a great great thread.
Just swell.
Great post, Great quit, great quitter..
Keep rockin it Castle, I am loving the way you "hang it out there" and I love this post.. Proud to be quit with you bud.
Hot Damn. That's some good bread right there. Think I might have popped a boner.
Quit on...
really nice work man! Keep on quitting on. One day at a time adds up in a hurry. Ups and downs, but each day of freedom is awesome.
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Today has been and will remain to be the hardest day of my quit. In fact, while I still had a dirt turd in my mouth, I knew that this would be the hardest day for me. Throughout my entire life I've had throat problems, strep more times than I can count, tonsillitis constantly, random colds, etc. As such, the most recent spell has lasted a good 6 months or so and after a negative strep test I remained unconcerned until the two dreaded symptoms showed up; an earache and difficulty swallowing. There are very few medical conditions that include those two symptoms, with one of them being cancer, so being a chewer naturally I was concerned.
At the core of the problem, I knew I didn't have cancer. I'm too rational, the odds are too low, and I didn't chew enough, but anybody who has those things going on knows that if it has gotten to that point where those specific symptoms arise and it does happen to be cancer, you have likely killed yourself. So I had to get it checked, I knew it would be negative, but I couldn't handle not knowing.
Today I got it checked. I had some awful shit sprayed up my nose, a camera shoved down my throat, received a clean bill of health, and could not be happier. This means I can chew again. I'm perfectly fine so why not?
That was my mindset for a microsecond. You're healthy, have one so you can remember what it's like. But I prepared for this, I knew I was fine and just needed a reason to quit, now I know that reason is that I want to live and having a dip can only result in shortening the amount of time I do so. So regardless of your reason, or its permanence, know that it's worth it because the outcome will always be the extension of your life.
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Today has been and will remain to be the hardest day of my quit. In fact, while I still had a dirt turd in my mouth, I knew that this would be the hardest day for me. Throughout my entire life I've had throat problems, strep more times than I can count, tonsillitis constantly, random colds, etc. As such, the most recent spell has lasted a good 6 months or so and after a negative strep test I remained unconcerned until the two dreaded symptoms showed up; an earache and difficulty swallowing. There are very few medical conditions that include those two symptoms, with one of them being cancer, so being a chewer naturally I was concerned.
At the core of the problem, I knew I didn't have cancer. I'm too rational, the odds are too low, and I didn't chew enough, but anybody who has those things going on knows that if it has gotten to that point where those specific symptoms arise and it does happen to be cancer, you have likely killed yourself. So I had to get it checked, I knew it would be negative, but I couldn't handle not knowing.
Today I got it checked. I had some awful shit sprayed up my nose, a camera shoved down my throat, received a clean bill of health, and could not be happier. This means I can chew again. I'm perfectly fine so why not?
That was my mindset for a microsecond. You're healthy, have one so you can remember what it's like. But I prepared for this, I knew I was fine and just needed a reason to quit, now I know that reason is that I want to live and having a dip can only result in shortening the amount of time I do so. So regardless of your reason, or its permanence, know that it's worth it because the outcome will always be the extension of your life.
Wow. First, I'm glad you got that checked. Second, I love that resolve in the face of NB trying to throw down on you. This addiction is so messed up like that. "Clean bill of health from the doctor? Great! Let's 'reward' ourselves with a dip!"
Keep on fighting, brother, and be sure to underline this day as you add it to the win column.
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Today has been and will remain to be the hardest day of my quit. In fact, while I still had a dirt turd in my mouth, I knew that this would be the hardest day for me. Throughout my entire life I've had throat problems, strep more times than I can count, tonsillitis constantly, random colds, etc. As such, the most recent spell has lasted a good 6 months or so and after a negative strep test I remained unconcerned until the two dreaded symptoms showed up; an earache and difficulty swallowing. There are very few medical conditions that include those two symptoms, with one of them being cancer, so being a chewer naturally I was concerned.
At the core of the problem, I knew I didn't have cancer. I'm too rational, the odds are too low, and I didn't chew enough, but anybody who has those things going on knows that if it has gotten to that point where those specific symptoms arise and it does happen to be cancer, you have likely killed yourself. So I had to get it checked, I knew it would be negative, but I couldn't handle not knowing.
Today I got it checked. I had some awful shit sprayed up my nose, a camera shoved down my throat, received a clean bill of health, and could not be happier. This means I can chew again. I'm perfectly fine so why not?
That was my mindset for a microsecond. You're healthy, have one so you can remember what it's like. But I prepared for this, I knew I was fine and just needed a reason to quit, now I know that reason is that I want to live and having a dip can only result in shortening the amount of time I do so. So regardless of your reason, or its permanence, know that it's worth it because the outcome will always be the extension of your life.
Wow. First, I'm glad you got that checked. Second, I love that resolve in the face of NB trying to throw down on you. This addiction is so messed up like that. "Clean bill of health from the doctor? Great! Let's 'reward' ourselves with a dip!"
Keep on fighting, brother, and be sure to underline this day as you add it to the win column.
Read my intro and you'll see that one of the main reasons I started my quit was because of a persistent throat problem. Sometimes you need to invest in piece of mind, and like yourself, I did this...naso-pharnygeal scope coupled with an MRI to confirm that clean bill. With that piece of mind, hole in my wallet, and memory of said anxiety...my quit is strong as fuck. And day by day I lay more bricks in that foundation to make it stronger.
Be careful however, do not believe the statistics. Odds may be low and your rationality will only go so far. Nicotine doesn't give a fuck about stats and cancer doesn't give a fuck about nicotine, odds, stats, or anything. You keep doing what your doing castle: posting roll, journaling your quit, and dropping your new found knowledge as a quitter.
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Happy Birthday, you damn quitter! 'Sing and Drink' 'band' 'party2' 'Birthday'
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Congrats on the 100 bro. Proud to call you my quit brother! Quit on.
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Congrats on the 100 bro. Proud to call you my quit brother! Quit on.
QUTSTANDING! Now, do it again!
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Congrats on the 100 bro. Proud to call you my quit brother! Quit on.
QUTSTANDING! Now, do it again!
Nice job Castle! Stop, pause, keep trudging along!
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Nice job on the 2nd floor entry bro! Proud of the quit you've got going on ... keep marching!
'party2'
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Castle, congrats on the 2nd floor. I don't believe we've met, but your intro gave me chills in how many striking similarities I experienced with my addiction. And you strengthened my quit, so I thank you for that.
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CONGRATS on 300 days free my friend! Glad to be quit with you Castle!
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Congratulations my brother! ODAAT! EDD! Quit with you today!
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Thanks guys, appreciate it.
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Thanks guys, appreciate it.
Third floor feels nice, doesn't it? Congrats, dude! Let's keep this thing rolling.
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'oh yeah'
Congrats on 1 year castlesass!
Proud to quit with you.
Thx for all your support.
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'oh yeah'
Congrats on 1 year castlesass!
Proud to quit with you.
Thx for all your support.
That's bad ass.
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'oh yeah'
Congrats on 1 year castlesass!
Proud to quit with you.
Thx for all your support.
That's bad ass.
Way to go Castle!
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'oh yeah'
Congrats on 1 year castlesass!
Proud to quit with you.
Thx for all your support.
That's bad ass.
Way to go Castle!
Greatness castle! 1 year, that's awesome my friend! Keep paying it forward! I quit with you every damn day!
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'oh yeah'
Congrats on 1 year castlesass!
Proud to quit with you.
Thx for all your support.
That's bad ass.
Way to go Castle!
Greatness castle! 1 year, that's awesome my friend! Keep paying it forward! I quit with you every damn day!
1 lap is bad ass. Let's make this one even frassier.
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Hey.....Sassy :wub:
Congrats on your 2 years!
Thanks for making my first few months here bareable, by helping me stay distracted in live chat, good times, yeah?!
And in WOD, good to see you somtimes there. :blink:
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Castlesass...Congrats buddy on your comma!
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Castlesass...Congrats buddy on your comma!
Congrats on the Dangle brother!!
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Castlesass...Congrats buddy on your comma!
Congrats on the Dangle brother!!
Way to grab that comma Husky! Well done!