KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Smith686 on March 10, 2016, 10:43:00 PM
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How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
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How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
its real simple.....your quit group will be June pre hof.....post roll every morning( its your promise not to use nicotine for that day)...read all the stories on this site especially when the craves are strong......get peoples contact info from your group.....don't dwell on the suck....dwell on all the great reasons not to dip.....lean on the people in your group......if you truly want to quit you will its as simple as that......
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How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
Hey man, warm welcome and support for you in June. Lean into the suck, keep your word, reach out, be hilarious, exercise daily, keep a journal....
Or. Post roll, stay quit. ????
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Smith, I can't tell if you know this or not, but you are an addict. If you don't think you are, if you think you just need to break this habit, then hang on and spend a lot of time on this forum, in the pre-HOF June 2016 thread, during the next 3-5 days.
Don't make this quit bigger than it is. You only have to quit for today. You can do this. Tomorrow, go to roll and promise that you will quit for today. One day bro, it's just one day. You can do this.
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How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
How do I begin?
That's a bunch of B.S.
How's that for an answer!
Your an Addict!
So am I.
We have a defeated enemy.
We beat him down with the Truth.
Learn what addiction is.
Learn about nicotine.
Learn how thousands have been set free.
You are no different than us.
We just work at it today.
Well done posting roll.
Do it again tomorrow.
Eat anything slower than you.
Get on chat...
Read read read.
Drink water.
Hang with your family.
Your new life without lies starts now.
EDD ODAAT.
I quit with you today Smith.
See you here in the morning.
Pm if you need to talk through a craving.
Rawls 479
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Posting roll each day, keeping your word and turning the corner in the POS dept is a game changer. Each day widens the gap between that guy and this one. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Eventually every facet of your life will get better, no bs. You're stacking the deck daily.
Once you get through the suck, it's just another day at the beach.
'Sno'
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How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
Fellow ninja dipper here. Wife still to this day has no idea I did for years while we have been married.
First - good for you to make a decision to improve your life. The Nic bitch is gonna kick and scream but you know the harm its caused. I'm no veteran here but I'll tell you that in every one of my 50 days I've felt happier and better about myself, and I feel that ninja guilt lessening. Not having the stress of making sure you threw out your spitter, brushed your teeth, chewed your gum. It's been liberating for me.
Like the smarter guys posted before me, get involved, quit one day at a time and keep your head held high.
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I cannot add much more but we are similar in our quits (hide it from everyone but I got caught a lot).
I am excited for you!
The freedom from chew is very liberating; the worry, the remembering to hide spitters and cans, rinse your mouth. Thinking about next time you can chew...
There is tons of great advice, support and tools here. But it is what you do with it that matters.
Idaho Spuds 672
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Thanks everyone for the welcomes. This forum appears to be a great group of folks.
Just to be clear. I don't expect to be treated with kid gloves here. It is how it is and sometimes a swift kick in the posterior is what's needed. The biggest thing I need is support.... even if it's tough love.
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Thanks everyone for the welcomes. This forum appears to be a great group of folks.
Just to be clear. I don't expect to be treated with kid gloves here. It is how it is and sometimes a swift kick in the posterior is what's needed. The biggest thing I need is support.... even if it's tough love.
Smith you can do this. Your story isn't unique here.
I told my wife the whole truth on day 100. So glad to have that off my chest. Dude if I can help let me know. You are msking a decision with great rewards.
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Thanks everyone for the welcomes. This forum appears to be a great group of folks.
Just to be clear. I don't expect to be treated with kid gloves here. It is how it is and sometimes a swift kick in the posterior is what's needed. The biggest thing I need is support.... even if it's tough love.
Smith you can do this. Your story isn't unique here.
I told my wife the whole truth on day 100. So glad to have that off my chest. Dude if I can help let me know. You are msking a decision with great rewards.
I never hid from anyone. I was damn proud to be a disgusting addict right in front of my parents, wife, kids whoever I didn't give a shit, I was a selfish pig! I say come clean with your wife because you're gonna be a prick for awhile and she's gonna need to know why. We're all here for you, as long as you're doing your part by posting roll, early every damn day! I quit with you today! ODAAT! PM away if you need anything.
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Thanks everyone for the welcomes. This forum appears to be a great group of folks.
Just to be clear. I don't expect to be treated with kid gloves here. It is how it is and sometimes a swift kick in the posterior is what's needed. The biggest thing I need is support.... even if it's tough love.
Smith you can do this. Your story isn't unique here.
I told my wife the whole truth on day 100. So glad to have that off my chest. Dude if I can help let me know. You are msking a decision with great rewards.
I never hid from anyone. I was damn proud to be a disgusting addict right in front of my parents, wife, kids whoever I didn't give a shit, I was a selfish pig! I say come clean with your wife because you're gonna be a prick for awhile and she's gonna need to know why. We're all here for you, as long as you're doing your part by posting roll, early every damn day! I quit with you today! ODAAT! PM away if you need anything.
I agree with the elephant..... BA!
At first we're scared to tell people we are quit, because we may fail.
But if your here posting roll every morning, you wont fail!
Over time, you realize you dont "HAVE TO" but you "GET TO".
Dont quit for your wife....
Quit for you... Then tell your wife.
And....... Truth is what sets us free pard.
Rawls 482
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I sense some real quit in here. It's not often that we get honesty from a new poster but I detect it in Smith. Rawls is raw but correct. The first step is admitting to yourself that you are an addict. I'm an addict that has quit the substance of nicotine but I'm still an addict. Sometimes that is hard for a professional anything to admit, to me its liberating. Next step is to look at your past, you have already admitted that you can't quit for kids, marriage, new year, etc. etc. You must quit for YOU. It is the only way that this works, because everything else will fail you at some point and you will be right back dipping. Look man, you have it within your reach, just quit. Make the decision once and for all and just say NO More. Then come to this place every morning, type your name and your +1 and in a year you will be amazed at what can happen. It's a whole new life. Welcome to it.
Mogul
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Smith you can do this. Your story isn't unique here.
I told my wife the whole truth on day 100. So glad to have that off my chest. Dude if I can help let me know. You are msking a decision with great rewards.
How did that work out for you? I'm scared sh!tless of this...
More so, I'm scared of what I may have done for myself over the past 16 years! Lots of close family have been diagnosed with the big "C" (non-nicotine users) over the past few years. Several in the past 2 yrs. I have an aunt whose not going to make it, and hell, even my dog got diagnosed with mouth cancer a couple months ago. After seeing her having to have several teeth and part of her jaw removed was a real eye opener. I think "someone" has been shoving signs in my face that I HAVE to quit... NOW! These past few days have been a bitch! And I've caved a couple times. Not to the normal extent, but I realize that doesn't make it right.
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Are you posting roll in your quit group?
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Are you posting roll in your quit group?
I did for the first couple days, but I fell off the wagon. No worries, I'm back! Just posted roll. Doing it in the morning is key.
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No worries? whatever Smith... you have some questions to answer to your quit group. I don't think you quite understand what KTC is all about. You don't give your word here and go back on it without some recourse. posting in the morninig is key???? You have no fucking idea what the key is if you caved already. Perhaps you should listen to those who have blazed the trail before you. You need to man up to your group, admit you caved, answer the questions, post roll daily and keep your word. If your word is no good, get lost. Just saying
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These past few days have been a bitch! And I've caved a couple times. Not to the normal extent, but I realize that doesn't make it right.
WTF!?!
You pop this off nonchalantly?
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Curious what caving to the "normal extent" means? If your mindset is that caving is normal, sorry but you are not remotely ready to quit.
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No worries? whatever Smith... you have some questions to answer to your quit group. I don't think you quite understand what KTC is all about. You don't give your word here and go back on it without some recourse. posting in the morninig is key???? You have no fucking idea what the key is if you caved already. Perhaps you should listen to those who have blazed the trail before you. You need to man up to your group, admit you caved, answer the questions, post roll daily and keep your word. If your word is no good, get lost. Just saying
Your right! I F*cked up big here. I'm heading over to the group to man up to the questions posted.
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No worries? whatever Smith... you have some questions to answer to your quit group. I don't think you quite understand what KTC is all about. You don't give your word here and go back on it without some recourse. posting in the morninig is key???? You have no fucking idea what the key is if you caved already. Perhaps you should listen to those who have blazed the trail before you. You need to man up to your group, admit you caved, answer the questions, post roll daily and keep your word. If your word is no good, get lost. Just saying
Your right! I F*cked up big here. I'm heading over to the group to man up to the questions posted.
that's ownership and manning up. Way to be brother Smith. Get involved and take your quit seriously, because quite honestly, it is very serious on many levels. Glad to have you here.
Mogul
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Smith 5 days quit is badass, you are now free of nicotine and your body and mind are healing. I'm sure it has felt like a long 5 days, however the more time goes by the quicker the plus ones seem to add up. You're killing it Smith, ODAAT, and I'm quitting right there with you. Keep your intro on page 1 to further strengthen your quit.
Mogul
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Smith 5 days quit is badass, you are now free of nicotine and your body and mind are healing. I'm sure it has felt like a long 5 days, however the more time goes by the quicker the plus ones seem to add up. You're killing it Smith, ODAAT, and I'm quitting right there with you. Keep your intro on page 1 to further strengthen your quit.
Mogul
Thanks Mogul. Yes, it's been a long 5 days. Especially days 1 2. It felt like time stood still! Every day I feel better about this decision. However I do admit that I still think about it. But it is less and less. I find myself thinking about caving and saying "fuck it all"... but then I remember roll, I remember day 1 and how much hell it was, I think of all my family who have suffered from various forms of cancer... I'm in this!
Good news though: I went to the doctor. Confessed my addiction and informed him of my quit and this group. Got a general physical and some blood work. First of all, no worries on the big bad "C" word! Secondly, my cholesterol numbers are significantly improved! I've struggled with bad cholesterol for the bast 7 years. My HDL went from 44 to 62!
Another weird thing: when I get up in the morning my brain is still on auto-pilot mode thinking "I gotta get a dip in." Then I realize, "oh yeah, I quit. I gotta post roll."
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Smith 5 days quit is badass, you are now free of nicotine and your body and mind are healing. I'm sure it has felt like a long 5 days, however the more time goes by the quicker the plus ones seem to add up. You're killing it Smith, ODAAT, and I'm quitting right there with you. Keep your intro on page 1 to further strengthen your quit.
Mogul
Thanks Mogul. Yes, it's been a long 5 days. Especially days 1 2. It felt like time stood still! Every day I feel better about this decision. However I do admit that I still think about it. But it is less and less. I find myself thinking about caving and saying "fuck it all"... but then I remember roll, I remember day 1 and how much hell it was, I think of all my family who have suffered from various forms of cancer... I'm in this!
Good news though: I went to the doctor. Confessed my addiction and informed him of my quit and this group. Got a general physical and some blood work. First of all, no worries on the big bad "C" word! Secondly, my cholesterol numbers are significantly improved! I've struggled with bad cholesterol for the bast 7 years. My HDL went from 44 to 62!
Another weird thing: when I get up in the morning my brain is still on auto-pilot mode thinking "I gotta get a dip in." Then I realize, "oh yeah, I quit. I gotta post roll."
^^^^^^^^^^
This is how we quit folks. We make the decision. Celebrate your good news of your health and don't let that be an excuse to go back finger banging the bitch. If you do, the next checkup might be an Oh Shit moment.
You will heal from being quit, your mind will be more positive and your body more energetic. Feeds on itself after a while. I quit with you Smith.
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I'm bumping this quitter up to some double digits. Keep it up Smith.
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Congrats on 3 weeks Smith. ODAAT brother.
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Hey brother Smith. I just sent you a PM if you check the inbox upper right corner of screen.
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Smith... You have been Mogul..ed!
It's like thunder after the lighting.
You are one lucky #!+%*¿.
Best part.... He wants to save your life.
And can...and knows how.
I quit with you today also.
Those thoughts about nicotine and cancer.... Will fade with every +1
Make a promise. Keep a promise!
Congrats on day 26
ALL DAY LONG.
Rawls 509
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Smith, Have you shared your quit with your wife yet? If she'd like to talk to another wife pm me for my number.
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Cheers brother Smith. Today you reached 100 days of quit. I hope that from time to time you will go back and read your intro and see where you started. Way to be a winner my friend. One day at a time. Keep it up. See ya tomorrow.
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Cheers brother Smith. Today you reached 100 days of quit. I hope that from time to time you will go back and read your intro and see where you started. Way to be a winner my friend. One day at a time. Keep it up. See ya tomorrow.
Thanks Mogul! You've been a GREAT support!