KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: summit on December 09, 2009, 01:44:00 PM
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Day 6...
So here it is day 6 and today would have been one of those days at the office I loved. Nice and cold outside, nothing really going on at the office, just paying invoices and cleaning up mail and email. Used to love those days... head to the office put in a pinch and let the day pass me bye. The biggest part of the day was figuring out what I wanted to eat for lunch and if I should put in a fresh one or just freshin one up.
Today was tough, but it was the first time that I remember that I didn't get nervous when the door opened and someone would surprise me walking in. No dip- had someone walk in and I never had to look where to hide my spit cup. Kind of nice.
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Day 6...
So here it is day 6 and today would have been one of those days at the office I loved. Nice and cold outside, nothing really going on at the office, just paying invoices and cleaning up mail and email. Used to love those days... head to the office put in a pinch and let the day pass me bye. The biggest part of the day was figuring out what I wanted to eat for lunch and if I should put in a fresh one or just freshin one up.
Today was tough, but it was the first time that I remember that I didn't get nervous when the door opened and someone would surprise me walking in. No dip- had someone walk in and I never had to look where to hide my spit cup. Kind of nice.
Nice not feeling guilty? Good job and keep it up.
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Day 6...
So here it is day 6 and today would have been one of those days at the office I loved. Nice and cold outside, nothing really going on at the office, just paying invoices and cleaning up mail and email. Used to love those days... head to the office put in a pinch and let the day pass me bye. The biggest part of the day was figuring out what I wanted to eat for lunch and if I should put in a fresh one or just freshin one up.
Today was tough, but it was the first time that I remember that I didn't get nervous when the door opened and someone would surprise me walking in. No dip- had someone walk in and I never had to look where to hide my spit cup. Kind of nice.
Nice not feeling guilty? Good job and keep it up.
the little joys of quitting that you never realized...thanks for sharing that
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As I was driving to work this morning, I thought of when I picked my little girls up from school a couple weeks ago, and as I was buckling up my youngest, the oldest leaned between the seats and grabbed my sonic cup and started to put the straw to her lips. I yelled at her not to drink it and I can still see the look of her face as she said "daddy I just wanted to share your dr pepper with you." That was only one of the times I had to tell my little girls not to drink after daddy. Glad not to have those spitters in my truck and will be happy to share dr pepper with the girls now.
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As I was driving to work this morning, I thought of when I picked my little girls up from school a couple weeks ago, and as I was buckling up my youngest, the oldest leaned between the seats and grabbed my sonic cup and started to put the straw to her lips. I yelled at her not to drink it and I can still see the look of her face as she said "daddy I just wanted to share your dr pepper with you." That was only one of the times I had to tell my little girls not to drink after daddy. Glad not to have those spitters in my truck and will be happy to share dr pepper with the girls now.
be very proud of that...you may not realize it yet but those girls have probably noticed a change in their daddy...my 2 boys were so important in my quit and i can never let them down...you are off to a great start and a life without nic!
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so here i am on day 8 and I am trying to figure out what I can do to set some goals for myself and reward myself for my quit. I figure at each milestone I need to be reminded how much money that I am taking out of big tobacco's pockets.
This weekend I celebrate my double digit at $5 a can that's $50- I think I will take my truck to the car wash and get a good cleaning on it. I'll have them clean the carpets and the skoal stains, and will finally get rid of all the flakes that made their way out of the can and under the seats.
at day 25- 25 x 5= $125 December 28th
at day 50- 50 x 5= $250 January 22nd
at day 100- 100x5= $500 March 13th (wife has a birthday next week- spending it on her for putting up with my old habit for the 6 yrs we've been married)
at day 365- for my birthday 365 x 5= $1,825
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so here i am on day 8 and I am trying to figure out what I can do to set some goals for myself and reward myself for my quit. I figure at each milestone I need to be reminded how much money that I am taking out of big tobacco's pockets.
This weekend I celebrate my double digit at $5 a can that's $50- I think I will take my truck to the car wash and get a good cleaning on it. I'll have them clean the carpets and the skoal stains, and will finally get rid of all the flakes that made their way out of the can and under the seats.
at day 25- 25 x 5= $125 December 28th
at day 50- 50 x 5= $250 January 22nd
at day 100- 100x5= $500 March 13th (wife has a birthday next week- spending it on her for putting up with my old habit for the 6 yrs we've been married)
at day 365- for my birthday 365 x 5= $1,825
Way to go!!! Set goals make it happen. The Hall of Fame is a few days off so make a real goal you can hit quick. Rewards are great!!! Steak is always good :D Just no booze for a few more weeks it tends to make you loose focus on your goal.
Congrats and post how you feel even at day 255 for me sounding off helps.
Stay Quit!!!
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So I hit day 11 and still going strong, I guess I need to google and find out it there is a forum that will help me kick sunflower seeds. I don't even like them, but have a bag in my car and guess the habitual motion of spitting got transferred to the seeds. Mouth is sore from it, but as of now i don't think the seeds can cause cancer. So that's a big plus. I tried to convince someone that today was the 11th of December, and tomorrow is the 12th. Guess the days of my quit trump the real dates.
Thanks to Luv2ski for the congrats on the double digits. Makes me smile to know that someone just like me is out there struggling this through with me and cares enough to text to say congrats. And the same for the rest of you out there, whether through rebuke, encouragement, or just the post of "pm me if you need anything." Thanks to all of you for fighting this together.
I know that I can't promise to be dip free forever, but I can promise to be dip free today. And I will make that promise again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after. One day at a time right? Got today covered.
Reading through some of the conversations on the forum makes me realize what lengths I went through to hide my spitters, cans, and fattys. I too have had the appearance of drinking coffee all day and using the mug for a spitter, cleaned out the truck and found more spit bottles than I knew could fit under the seats, taking aimless drives and bathroom breaks just to sneak my pinch, and avoided people because I was more concerned about taking a dip then spending time with a friend. I laugh at the stories just thinking how childish and selfish the can made me.
Tomorrow is a new day and I will be posting 12, my little Skoal friend is no longer my friend, and i bid him farewell.
As for my prior post about getting the truck washed- weather wasn't good for it, maybe tomorrow.
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I guess I need to google and find out it there is a forum that will help me kick sunflower seeds.
I thought the same thing the first couple of weeks, damn my mouth hurt, but eventually the need for them went away. Now I rarely eat them, only when I have extreme craves.
If the seeds help with the craves I wouldnt be in too big of a hurry to get rid of them, beat the nic addiction first then go after the oral habit.
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So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream. Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me. Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in. I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor... what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again. Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not. Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you. Day 14! and keeping the quit.
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So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream. Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me. Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in. I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor... what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again. Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not. Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you. Day 14! and keeping the quit.
Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.
Here's an article on "Using Dreams" (http://ezinearticles.com/?Addiction-and-Recovery---Drinking-Or-Using-Dreams-as-a-Normal-Part-of-Recovery&id=2682418)
When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.
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So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream. Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me. Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in. I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor... what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again. Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not. Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you. Day 14! and keeping the quit.
Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.
Here's an article on "Using Dreams" (http://ezinearticles.com/?Addiction-and-Recovery---Drinking-Or-Using-Dreams-as-a-Normal-Part-of-Recovery&id=2682418)
When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.
Thanks for the info Helios! Good article. And was glad to see another one of my Marchies had a spitting dream last night.
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So I've read in here on other posts about the dip dream. Couldn't understand what that was all about, who would have a dream like that, and never thought that it would happen to me. Well last night I somehow found a can and and before I knew it I had a big fatty in. I remember thinking this should be a lot better than this, and it doesnt have any flavor... what am I doing, I am going to get kicked out, how am I going to post day 1 again. Glad it was just a dream, but even when I woke up I couldn't remember if it was a dream or not. Funny thing is my throat was all scratchy and my mouth was sore when I got up, its amazing what your brain will do to you. Day 14! and keeping the quit.
Dip dreams really screw with you. I've had a few, but they are normal.
Here's an article on "Using Dreams" (http://ezinearticles.com/?Addiction-and-Recovery---Drinking-Or-Using-Dreams-as-a-Normal-Part-of-Recovery&id=2682418)
When you get one of these it's a positive sign that you are recovering.
Thanks for the info Helios! Good article. And was glad to see another one of my Marchies had a spitting dream last night.
LOL, oh yes, everyone gets them. they do fuck with you don't they? haven't had one in a while and can't say i miss them.
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day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.
On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.
Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!
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day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.
On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.
Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!
Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.
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day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.
On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.
Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!
Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
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day 33...
survived the holidays without killing anyone or anyone killing me, and without sneaking off to buy a can. Also made it through several major triggers. The day after Christmas, I made the 5 hour drive to deer camp. Can't say that I have ever done that without a dip. Passed the tobacco outlet as i pulled through town saying if I could make it without stopping I should be home free. Did you know you can actually sit in a deer stand without a pinch in???? Apparently you can, and so can I. People actually hunt without dip... amazing. Luckily i was one of the only ones there, most of the members are dippers, but they werent there so the temptation wasnt presented. I was ready just in case. Didn't kill anything, but didn't slowly kill myself either. VICTORY! 2 Triggers down. Trigger 3 Fishing.... went flyfishing last week, no dip. Can you believe that people can catch fish without dipping. I never knew that. Can't remember the last time that i was standing in the water without a dip in, and the fish didnt care that I wasnt dipping. They still let me catch them.
On the negative side, my mind still drifts and drifting more. Several times through the past 2 weeks of family events, 5 Christmases, Bowl games, long drives, frustrating situations, disagreements, things messing up at work due to 2 weeks off, and every little thing that can happen, my mind dwindles and says "a dip would have made this situation right...," "If i had a dip in right now this wouldn't have happened..." "If I would have had a can in the car I could have done...." and the list goes on and on. Even just a few minutes ago I am in the office and thought, "If I just had a pinch, I could get this project finished a lot quicker." Are you kidding me? I Don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive.
Done with the dip it will no longer run me!!!
Very Good! I have also learned fish could care less if I have a dip in. They still don't bite, but I can still try and catch them without dip. You will also see that everything else you do can be done without poisoning yourself in the process. Give it time and your mind will clear and things will be easier. You are on the right path. Keep up the good fight.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Hey Summit... Thanks, Bro... Needed to see this tonight!
I drove past one of my ex-favorite convenience stores this evening. I thought about the cashiers that used to laugh at me when I told them I was going to quit. When I drove past tonight I thought about stopping... just to go in and shoot a 'Finger' to the Cancer Wall.
Maybe I will tomorrow. Drive by. See the ol' fella's that sold me the poison, tell 'em I've got a month tallied in my quit history, and wish them all a happy new year.
"I don't need that crap in my lip to make life easier, or faster, or more productive."
Sounds like the mantra I needed to pass the next trigger test that will no doubt come who knows when.
Cheers! Good stuff, man!
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I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week. before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day. and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!
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I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week. before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day. and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!
Yep... it certainly adds up!
If you haven't seen it yet, there is a quit tracker at the bottom of the homepage that will keep track of your days quit as well as how much you're saving: http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/)
chewie
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I just looked in my wallet, and I still have a $20 bill in it from last week. before the quit, that thing wouldn't have lasted 1 day. and its amazing how many $20 atm trips i had in my check register before the quit, and now how gas is between $4.98-5.49 a tank less and how many less tanks I have had in the last 35 days.
Not only is the quit saving my life, but saving my wallet.
Take that big tobacco, i am keeping my money instead of fattening yours!
Yep... it certainly adds up!
If you haven't seen it yet, there is a quit tracker at the bottom of the homepage that will keep track of your days quit as well as how much you're saving: http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/)
chewie
I missed yesterdays big savings Wednesday, thought about it too late, but I love to see what we are pulling away from Big Tobacco. I have a long way to catch up for what I gave them, but I have the rest of my life to stick it to them!
thanks Chewie
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Along the same lines about money and quitting - I thought I would share these experiences from our March group - I'm sure everyone can relate - but maybe it will show others how sick we really are - here is some banter from our group - and my story about how sick I am....
QUOTE (daniel-san @ Jan 7, 2010, 6:25 pm) daniel-san wrote:
"Without a doubt, my 3 hour layover at DFW right now is the strongest urge/trigger I've had to endure....
I always dipped on the plane and in terminal with my handy dandy 007 water bottle neatly tucked into the front flap of my travel bag never far away. Of course I had to spend $4 for the water after I got through security (because you can't bring your own anymore) and then promptly headed to the mens room to dump the water out. Idiot."
donewithapinch replied:
"hahahah - I'll do you one better RE: the airport - how about quitting the morning you get on the plane, but then deciding in the air that you are not quitting, and then walking around the airport between flights hoping you can find some other loser that has a ring in his back pocket or a lip full of crap...then bumming a dip from a stranger taht probably has re-dip in his can....then buying the $4 water bottle to have a place to spit - then buying the $3 Tums to combat the heartburn.....dallas was the only airport where I ever found Skoal for sale....actually considered carrying it with me to sell to others...one last thing...on a trip to the Bahamas I promised my wife I would quit - and the entire cruise I tried to find someone/somewhere to bum a dip....found cans for sale in the newsstand at the Atlantis resort...$17/can !!!! I didnt buy any..but thats just because my wife was watching...what a pathetic addict....I'm so glad to be quitting this drug!!! Good luck March fellows. Sorry to take up so much space with this post....just thought I'd share..Thanks "
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here we are day 40... This time last year i was looking forward to a weekend at the house by myself with my kiddos, trip to the bass pro shop, long drives, late nights, and 3 days of 24 hour dip fests. So here the week comes again this year, while my wife is out for the weekend at a conference and all i can think about is a weekend with my kiddos, trip to the bass pro shop, and keeping the quit. Its kind of exciting to think that I have the whole weekend that its daddy dates and I don't have to worry about the girls taking a swig of my spitter, saying "daddy can I have some of that stuff that you are eating," or finding trash cans or carrying a spitter through the store.
The cravings are fewer and farther between, and I can spend time with the family without making up an excuse to go to the office or run an errand just so I could put a dip in.
I used to make jokes about quitting "Momma didn't raise no quitter," tried to see how good of a dip ninja I could be (close to invisible), and revolved everything around a pinch.
I also made fun of the smokers- couldn't understand why at every chance they could, would go outside and smoke. They would run out of restaurants the second the bill was paid just so they could smoke. Meanwhile from my high horse, shaking my head at them on my walk to the truck thinking how pathetic they were, the second I got to the truck would put a pinch in. I was just as bad, just not as noticeable.
So welcome day 40 to another day of the rest of my dip free life. Glad to see you.
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56 and counting...
So the other night I was playing the song "Love your love the most" by Eric Church, good country song, for my wife and I was telling her that it was a song like I would write. Song tells all the things I love: 8 pt bucks, songs by George Strait, my truck, my dog, Jack D in my coke... anyway one of the lines in the song- "Man I love how Red man tastes..." When she heard that line she looked at me and said "well maybe not Red Man, but some other brand huh?" It was the first time that I got to tell her without skirting the subject that I was quiting, and actually meant it. That was a good feeling.