KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: aaronep on December 24, 2012, 09:31:00 PM
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I am at the end of day 2 of my Quit. While my head feels like it is going to erupt, I have never felt more proud.
I have been dipping for 23 years (Peach Wolf during the past few years, 2 cans/day) and it has destroyed me. I was completely ashamed of what my life had become, a march to death, alone.
While I am professionally successful, dipping destroyed everything else. And...I let it happen. In order to hide my sins, I opted to prioritize Dip ahead of:
My marriage: You can't lie to someone everyday for 10 years and expect everything to be OK. Late night alone time, etc. I honestly thought it was only me.
My friendships: It required so much planning to spend time with friends, I often didn't do it. Always having to drive my own car so I can immediately pop one in on the way home makes everything awkward.
My work: I always need to plan time away from the team to sneak one in. Fake trips to the bathroom, taking separate flights, etc. I have used every excuse in the book and I am ashamed.
The fear of doctors and dentists was on my mind all day, everyday. If you say the wrong thing to me, I would explode just so I could run off and grab a dip.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done but you guys got me through today and I am ready to face tomorrow. Reading stories from others - JUST LIKE ME - gave me the strength today. I needed to know that I was not alone.
Thank you.
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I am at the end of day 2 of my Quit. While my head feels like it is going to erupt, I have never felt more proud.
I have been dipping for 23 years (Peach Wolf during the past few years, 2 cans/day) and it has destroyed me. I was completely ashamed of what my life had become, a march to death, alone.
While I am professionally successful, dipping destroyed everything else. And...I let it happen. In order to hide my sins, I opted to prioritize Dip ahead of:
My marriage: You can't lie to someone everyday for 10 years and expect everything to be OK. Late night alone time, etc. I honestly thought it was only me.
My friendships: It required so much planning to spend time with friends, I often didn't do it. Always having to drive my own car so I can immediately pop one in on the way home makes everything awkward.
My work: I always need to plan time away from the team to sneak one in. Fake trips to the bathroom, taking separate flights, etc. I have used every excuse in the book and I am ashamed.
The fear of doctors and dentists was on my mind all day, everyday. If you say the wrong thing to me, I would explode just so I could run off and grab a dip.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done but you guys got me through today and I am ready to face tomorrow. Reading stories from others - JUST LIKE ME - gave me the strength today. I needed to know that I was not alone.
Thank you.
Reading what you posted is like reading about me... reading about us. You are not alone. You can do this. Today is all that matters. Taste freedom. You cannot imagine how good it is going to get.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
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I am at the end of day 2 of my Quit. While my head feels like it is going to erupt, I have never felt more proud.
I have been dipping for 23 years (Peach Wolf during the past few years, 2 cans/day) and it has destroyed me. I was completely ashamed of what my life had become, a march to death, alone.
While I am professionally successful, dipping destroyed everything else. And...I let it happen. In order to hide my sins, I opted to prioritize Dip ahead of:
My marriage: You can't lie to someone everyday for 10 years and expect everything to be OK. Late night alone time, etc. I honestly thought it was only me.
My friendships: It required so much planning to spend time with friends, I often didn't do it. Always having to drive my own car so I can immediately pop one in on the way home makes everything awkward.
My work: I always need to plan time away from the team to sneak one in. Fake trips to the bathroom, taking separate flights, etc. I have used every excuse in the book and I am ashamed.
The fear of doctors and dentists was on my mind all day, everyday. If you say the wrong thing to me, I would explode just so I could run off and grab a dip.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done but you guys got me through today and I am ready to face tomorrow. Reading stories from others - JUST LIKE ME - gave me the strength today. I needed to know that I was not alone.
Thank you.
Best Christmas gift ever FREEDOM..Please PM me, or text if you need to chat. I will send you my #. You can do this, the Nic will be out of your system by New Years, and you will have a week under your belt. Stay strong man, you have this.!!!
Waketech Day 105
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I am at the end of day 2 of my Quit. While my head feels like it is going to erupt, I have never felt more proud.
I have been dipping for 23 years (Peach Wolf during the past few years, 2 cans/day) and it has destroyed me. I was completely ashamed of what my life had become, a march to death, alone.
While I am professionally successful, dipping destroyed everything else. And...I let it happen. In order to hide my sins, I opted to prioritize Dip ahead of:
My marriage: You can't lie to someone everyday for 10 years and expect everything to be OK. Late night alone time, etc. I honestly thought it was only me.
My friendships: It required so much planning to spend time with friends, I often didn't do it. Always having to drive my own car so I can immediately pop one in on the way home makes everything awkward.
My work: I always need to plan time away from the team to sneak one in. Fake trips to the bathroom, taking separate flights, etc. I have used every excuse in the book and I am ashamed.
The fear of doctors and dentists was on my mind all day, everyday. If you say the wrong thing to me, I would explode just so I could run off and grab a dip.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done but you guys got me through today and I am ready to face tomorrow. Reading stories from others - JUST LIKE ME - gave me the strength today. I needed to know that I was not alone.
Thank you.
I'm only 11 short days ahead of you. The first 4/5 were tough. After that you're a professional quitter. We all lied about it. I'm no different. We are addicts. The quit rules!!
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Yea, it's amazing the kind of shit you did in order to get the nic fix, huh? And you did it without even thinking about it, you were so well trained. We know the feeling. The next couple of days will suck, but I'm excited for you because you will see a hundred other dumbass routines in your day that were designed solely to support the habit. The fact that you see that kind of stuff for what it is shows that you've taken off the blinders and are ready for freedom.
I'll quit with you today. Congrats.
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I'm just going to add that it was my story for 40 years too! Pm me if you need anything. Today is possible, yesterday is past and we can deal with tomorrow when it is today!
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Welcome!! I'm a newbie too. I'm on day 26 of being quit. I was a can a day for 25 years. No shame in your game here. We have all been through it. Merry Xmas and stay quit.
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I think you have hit the nail on the head with a mirror image of my life as well. proud of you. I am 36 days in. it does get way better ever day quit is a better day alltogether. if you need an extra phone number just pm me i will be more than glad to talk or txt any time. Merry Christmas.
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I am at 5PM of day 3 and thought I would post a reminder of where I am today and where I want to be moving forward.
I hate myself today, I know what I have missed out on. I know that I lived life as a liar. I hate wasted opportunities. I didn't give people the chance to know me. They were meeting someone who didn't exist. I didn't get a chance to know people. My loss. Not going to happen again.
I love myself today. I know today I did not dip. Not dipping is the most amazing feeling. When the cravings come on, KTC members have given me what I need to slap them aside. This is what I think about:
Kissing my girlfriend without having to plan my coverup. I have spent my entire adult life having to worry about kissing and making sure that I didn't get caught with stank mouth. I would make coffee at all hours of the day, eat peanut butter from the jar, etc. If I knew that I had 30 minutes of alone time, I would dip for 15 and have to plan the cover up for the other 15. I am going to kiss my girl whenever I want (and whenever she wants)!
Not being embarrassed when going to the dentist - or not going at all. (I told one dentist that I moved to Asia and they would be cleaning my teeth there for the next few years, that way, they would not call me to come in). I am going to get my teeth cleaned every month!
Smiling during pictures. 20+ years of pictures where I am not smiling. I continue to embarrass myself. I love to smile and laugh, I want everyone to see that. The camera is going to see the real me.
My friends are going to meet the real me for the first time. I can't wait to meet them.
My family is going to meet the real me for the first time. I can't wait to meet them.
I am now living in the real world. It is amazing. I know that 1 dip will undo everything I want...so I quit. I quit 2 days ago, yesterday, this morning, this afternoon, and I will quit again tonight. I will wake up and post my commitment for another day. I will check this post and my inbox and see messages from amazing supporters.
I hope that I will be able to support others as well. I am not there yet, but I will be.
For those who have sent me a PM, I thank you. I may not be ready to write back but your message is the help I need.
Thank you KTC. This is from the real me.
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I am at 5PM of day 3 and thought I would post a reminder of where I am today and where I want to be moving forward.
I hate myself today, I know what I have missed out on. I know that I lived life as a liar. I hate wasted opportunities. I didn't give people the chance to know me. They were meeting someone who didn't exist. I didn't get a chance to know people. My loss. Not going to happen again.
I love myself today. I know today I did not dip. Not dipping is the most amazing feeling. When the cravings come on, KTC members have given me what I need to slap them aside. This is what I think about:
Kissing my girlfriend without having to plan my coverup. I have spent my entire adult life having to worry about kissing and making sure that I didn't get caught with stank mouth. I would make coffee at all hours of the day, eat peanut butter from the jar, etc. If I knew that I had 30 minutes of alone time, I would dip for 15 and have to plan the cover up for the other 15. I am going to kiss my girl whenever I want (and whenever she wants)!
Not being embarrassed when going to the dentist - or not going at all. (I told one dentist that I moved to Asia and they would be cleaning my teeth there for the next few years, that way, they would not call me to come in). I am going to get my teeth cleaned every month!
Smiling during pictures. 20+ years of pictures where I am not smiling. I continue to embarrass myself. I love to smile and laugh, I want everyone to see that. The camera is going to see the real me.
My friends are going to meet the real me for the first time. I can't wait to meet them.
My family is going to meet the real me for the first time. I can't wait to meet them.
I am now living in the real world. It is amazing. I know that 1 dip will undo everything I want...so I quit. I quit 2 days ago, yesterday, this morning, this afternoon, and I will quit again tonight. I will wake up and post my commitment for another day. I will check this post and my inbox and see messages from amazing supporters.
I hope that I will be able to support others as well. I am not there yet, but I will be.
For those who have sent me a PM, I thank you. I may not be ready to write back but your message is the help I need.
Thank you KTC. This is from the real me.
You are gonna be alright bro....
And you are sooooo not alone. There are lots of us. Once liars...cheats...and thieves for nicotine. No longer friend. No longer.
Welcome to the site friend.
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I am at the end of day 2 of my Quit. While my head feels like it is going to erupt, I have never felt more proud.
I have been dipping for 23 years (Peach Wolf during the past few years, 2 cans/day) and it has destroyed me. I was completely ashamed of what my life had become, a march to death, alone.
While I am professionally successful, dipping destroyed everything else. And...I let it happen. In order to hide my sins, I opted to prioritize Dip ahead of:
My marriage: You can't lie to someone everyday for 10 years and expect everything to be OK. Late night alone time, etc. I honestly thought it was only me.
My friendships: It required so much planning to spend time with friends, I often didn't do it. Always having to drive my own car so I can immediately pop one in on the way home makes everything awkward.
My work: I always need to plan time away from the team to sneak one in. Fake trips to the bathroom, taking separate flights, etc. I have used every excuse in the book and I am ashamed.
The fear of doctors and dentists was on my mind all day, everyday. If you say the wrong thing to me, I would explode just so I could run off and grab a dip.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done but you guys got me through today and I am ready to face tomorrow. Reading stories from others - JUST LIKE ME - gave me the strength today. I needed to know that I was not alone.
Thank you.
Damn man, you write that well in the middle of the fog, you will have much to offer. Lots of good stuff in your post. We can all relate to parts of it.
Stay strong brother! We are all quit with you.
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As mentioned in so many of the replies, your story is a mirror image of my story. 32 years enslaved, 209 days of freedom and counting. It gets a lot better!!
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Day 4, 11AM. Another great reason for my quit. The doorbell rang and I just answered it! No scrambling around tossing my dip, hiding my cup, making excuses (meaning lies) and feeling guilty about yet another thing.
Today is a great day my brothers, you have prepared me well. After drinking 10+ gallons of water, 30 miles of running (or walking the dog, who is on the verge of collapse), 12 laxatives (keeping everything firing on all cylinders down below), 6 sleeping pills (10 hours a night), and 5 rambling posts to KTC...I am doing just fine. I love my quit. I want more people to knock on my door!
It is only day 4 and I know that everyday is a fight but I am ready for it. I embrace all that is good about my quit. This morning...it was the FedEx guy. I am not sure he will ever get such a warm reception again.
My head isn't foggy right now and my hair is not standing up at attention, today is going to be a good quit day.
Thanks to my brothers who have helped me along this path. I know it is going to be hard, but it has been proven to work and that takes away the scare. I love reading reading the HOF speeches, for those who have written them, your keystrokes were not wasted.
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Day 4, 11AM. Another great reason for my quit. The doorbell rang and I just answered it! No scrambling around tossing my dip, hiding my cup, making excuses (meaning lies) and feeling guilty about yet another thing.
Today is a great day my brothers, you have prepared me well. After drinking 10+ gallons of water, 30 miles of running (or walking the dog, who is on the verge of collapse), 12 laxatives (keeping everything firing on all cylinders down below), 6 sleeping pills (10 hours a night), and 5 rambling posts to KTC...I am doing just fine. I love my quit. I want more people to knock on my door!
It is only day 4 and I know that everyday is a fight but I am ready for it. I embrace all that is good about my quit. This morning...it was the FedEx guy. I am not sure he will ever get such a warm reception again.
My head isn't foggy right now and my hair is not standing up at attention, today is going to be a good quit day.
Thanks to my brothers who have helped me along this path. I know it is going to be hard, but it has been proven to work and that takes away the scare. I love reading reading the HOF speeches, for those who have written them, your keystrokes were not wasted.
I smell some serious Quit with this one! I recently re-read my intro posts from my first days and you can see the clarity and confidence as the days tick by. You go from counting seconds to minutes to hours to days! Keep doing what you are doing. And dont let down your guard!! I had a severe crave this am!! Near as I can tell, the NIC Bitch never goes away!! Your posts help us to brother!
Welcome!
J
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I guarantee EVERYTHING you have done, I or someoene else on this site has done. Take comfort in not being alone. It helps. Also take conform in knowing that you can change your life, and we will help every step of the way. I'm here for you, pm me anytime if u want my didgits.
Example of how dumb I once was: going 75 mph down the highway when I realize I have no spitter...but I do have a full bottle of windshield washer fluid in my back seat. Reeeeaaach back as I swereve all over the place trying to grab the jug. I finally get it, proceed to roll down my window and pour out a gallon of wiper fluid at 75 mph. The shit was all over the side of my car and SOAKS my nice long sleeved shirt, not to mention the people behind me were honking and pissed because their cars were getting coated. I didn't give a shit...I needed something to spit in. Ever spit into an empty wiper fluid jug? The lip on it is sharpe as hell and you get a taste of fluid every time you spit...it doesn't taste too good.
I look back now and cant believe I was such an asshole. But that's the power of addiction. It makes you do shit a "sane" you would never normally do.
One more thing to take comfort in....when your quit days build up and you start giving advice and helping out new guys...it helps just as much and feels just as good as reading and getting the advice you are getting now. It truly is better to give than receive.
Stick with it my friend. You have many great things to look forward too. We are here to help when the road gets bumpy, use us. When the road starts to smooth out...pay it forward, it will strengthen your quit beyond beliefe
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I guarantee EVERYTHING you have done, I or someoene else on this site has done. Take comfort in not being alone. It helps. Also take conform in knowing that you can change your life, and we will help every step of the way. I'm here for you, pm me anytime if u want my didgits.
Example of how dumb I once was: going 75 mph down the highway when I realize I have no spitter...but I do have a full bottle of windshield washer fluid in my back seat. Reeeeaaach back as I swereve all over the place trying to grab the jug. I finally get it, proceed to roll down my window and pour out a gallon of wiper fluid at 75 mph. The shit was all over the side of my car and SOAKS my nice long sleeved shirt, not to mention the people behind me were honking and pissed because their cars were getting coated. I didn't give a shit...I needed something to spit in. Ever spit into an empty wiper fluid jug? The lip on it is sharpe as hell and you get a taste of fluid every time you spit...it doesn't taste too good.
I look back now and cant believe I was such an asshole. But that's the power of addiction. It makes you do shit a "sane" you would never normally do.
One more thing to take comfort in....when your quit days build up and you start giving advice and helping out new guys...it helps just as much and feels just as good as reading and getting the advice you are getting now. It truly is better to give than receive.
Stick with it my friend. You have many great things to look forward too. We are here to help when the road gets bumpy, use us. When the road starts to smooth out...pay it forward, it will strengthen your quit beyond beliefe
'crackup' Classic.
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Aaron I'm going to pirate some space here in your intro. Taking a little time today relaxing and enjoying my freedom, enjoying the grandkids and not sneaking away from the family for a dip. So I took a minute and read a few posts here. I've realized how little time I've spent keeping my quit in my mind, quitting has just become part of my life. I'm not sure when it happened but somewhere after 225 days I quit needing the constant reminder that I was quit and didn't need nicotine to feel normal. Aaron this happens to people at different times but we all learn and reprogram our lives to live nic free. Reading about answering the door, J and Diesel posts I'm laughing my ass off reminiscing some of the really stupid things I did. (I think that was diesel drinking the antifreeze week one to kill himself. I'm sure all of us who were here when he quit remember his pain and how far he has come). I encourage you to write plenty of your thoughts and struggles during quitting here in your intro it is so inspiring to go back and read where you came from later in your journey. Freedom is fantastic and so worth it and you will be surprised at how fast time goes.
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Aaron I'm going to pirate some space here in your intro. Taking a little time today relaxing and enjoying my freedom, enjoying the grandkids and not sneaking away from the family for a dip. So I took a minute and read a few posts here. I've realized how little time I've spent keeping my quit in my mind, quitting has just become part of my life. I'm not sure when it happened but somewhere after 225 days I quit needing the constant reminder that I was quit and didn't need nicotine to feel normal. Aaron this happens to people at different times but we all learn and reprogram our lives to live nic free. Reading about answering the door, J and Diesel posts I'm laughing my ass off reminiscing some of the really stupid things I did. (I think that was diesel drinking the antifreeze week one to kill himself. I'm sure all of us who were here when he quit remember his pain and how far he has come). I encourage you to write plenty of your thoughts and struggles during quitting here in your intro it is so inspiring to go back and read where you came from later in your journey. Freedom is fantastic and so worth it and you will be surprised at how fast time goes.
Yeah...I was a God damn mess, one of the biggest candy asses ktc has ever seen, read my intro if you dare. If a pussy like me can turn it around, anyone can.
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Thinking about Diesel getting out of his car with his shirt soaked from windshield washer fluid, his lip cut from the bottle, and a bunch of people with wet cars wanting to kill him has had me laughing all day long. I can only imagine what he said to the first person he ran into.
This has been a great day. I have made a point to slowly introduce myself to the world and this was my first time getting out of the house and driving by the stores where I would stock up. I travel with work so I was someone that required inventory and have a large supply channel.
I didn't cave, not even close. I know better. I don't want that life anymore, the new life is so much better.
Thoughts of cheating come to me a few times during the day. The most frequent is, "I can have a dip after the dentist in 30 days". When I hear that in my thought, I say it out loud and I know how stupid that sounds. It is as stupid as me not answering the door because I didn't want to pull out my dip. It is actually more stupid than Diesel emptying the washer fluid while driving on the highway!
I can't wait for tomorrow. You guys are amazing.
Wt - you are living my dream and you are providing proof to all of us that it exists. It doesn't sound like normal to me, at this stage, it seems like you are in wonderland.
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Day 5 - note to self..."Self, you don't feel physical withdrawal symptoms any more, so start living life."
I am scared. I am not putting myself in postion to be tempted while I quit in my bubble. I eat all meals at home and exercise immediately afterward. I am limiting how much work I do. I limit my time in the car to 5 minutes. I am reading in the forum all day and night. I don't like this feeling. One of the most used and most powerful terms that I find in other posts is "freedom". The freedom I am experiencing now from day 1 to day 5 has been life changing. I know I have an addictive personality and that is why I want more.
Most importantly, I don't want to feel this again. I know I am only supposed to think about the commitment I made to stay clean today but it is hard.
I have lots of temptations but they don't bother me in my bubble. Everything I do is a trigger, I have had shit in my lip for 23 years doing everything. When I leave my bubble, I am prepared. I have started to prove that to myself a little at a time, one task at a time.
I will not dip today. Not dipping is better than dipping, that is the simple math for me. The little freedom I have now is still so much better than the no-freedom life I was living in before.
I support my brothers who are living outside my bubble. Your strength is awesome. I read stories of long car rides in the snow on day 1 and it makes me cry. That is torture and you pulled through. I am a pussy by comparison.
Lot's of rambling today, lack of sleep (first time the sleeping pills didn't give me the knock-out blow) causing lack of concentration.
I am starting to see new folks join. I encourage you to read complete posts (day 1 to current) from others in the introduction section. They make me believe that I will be successful today, today's hurdle can't be too hard, look at all the others who have passed it.
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Day 5 - note to self..."Self, you don't feel physical withdrawal symptoms any more, so start living life."
I am scared. I am not putting myself in postion to be tempted while I quit in my bubble. I eat all meals at home and exercise immediately afterward. I am limiting how much work I do. I limit my time in the car to 5 minutes. I am reading in the forum all day and night. I don't like this feeling. One of the most used and most powerful terms that I find in other posts is "freedom". The freedom I am experiencing now from day 1 to day 5 has been life changing. I know I have an addictive personality and that is why I want more.
Most importantly, I don't want to feel this again. I know I am only supposed to think about the commitment I made to stay clean today but it is hard.
I have lots of temptations but they don't bother me in my bubble. Everything I do is a trigger, I have had shit in my lip for 23 years doing everything. When I leave my bubble, I am prepared. I have started to prove that to myself a little at a time, one task at a time.
I will not dip today. Not dipping is better than dipping, that is the simple math for me. The little freedom I have now is still so much better than the no-freedom life I was living in before.
I support my brothers who are living outside my bubble. Your strength is awesome. I read stories of long car rides in the snow on day 1 and it makes me cry. That is torture and you pulled through. I am a pussy by comparison.
Lot's of rambling today, lack of sleep (first time the sleeping pills didn't give me the knock-out blow) causing lack of concentration.
I am starting to see new folks join. I encourage you to read complete posts (day 1 to current) from others in the introduction section. They make me believe that I will be successful today, today's hurdle can't be too hard, look at all the others who have passed it.
I love reading your posts aaronep. Brings back a lot of memories that I don't want to relive but reminds me why I'm here.
Beat those triggers one at a time. Beat 'em good. Every time you do, it adds a little more freedom and a little less bubble. You are wise to take your time.
For me the withdrawls were painful and unpleasant but the temptations that came after the pain left were much more insidious. Its a mind game now. Stay vigilant brother.
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Day 5 - note to self..."Self, you don't feel physical withdrawal symptoms any more, so start living life."
I am scared. I am not putting myself in postion to be tempted while I quit in my bubble. I eat all meals at home and exercise immediately afterward. I am limiting how much work I do. I limit my time in the car to 5 minutes. I am reading in the forum all day and night. I don't like this feeling. One of the most used and most powerful terms that I find in other posts is "freedom". The freedom I am experiencing now from day 1 to day 5 has been life changing. I know I have an addictive personality and that is why I want more.
Most importantly, I don't want to feel this again. I know I am only supposed to think about the commitment I made to stay clean today but it is hard.
I have lots of temptations but they don't bother me in my bubble. Everything I do is a trigger, I have had shit in my lip for 23 years doing everything. When I leave my bubble, I am prepared. I have started to prove that to myself a little at a time, one task at a time.
I will not dip today. Not dipping is better than dipping, that is the simple math for me. The little freedom I have now is still so much better than the no-freedom life I was living in before.
I support my brothers who are living outside my bubble. Your strength is awesome. I read stories of long car rides in the snow on day 1 and it makes me cry. That is torture and you pulled through. I am a pussy by comparison.
Lot's of rambling today, lack of sleep (first time the sleeping pills didn't give me the knock-out blow) causing lack of concentration.
I am starting to see new folks join. I encourage you to read complete posts (day 1 to current) from others in the introduction section. They make me believe that I will be successful today, today's hurdle can't be too hard, look at all the others who have passed it.
I love reading your posts aaronep. Brings back a lot of memories that I don't want to relive but reminds me why I'm here.
Beat those triggers one at a time. Beat 'em good. Every time you do, it adds a little more freedom and a little less bubble. You are wise to take your time.
For me the withdrawls were painful and unpleasant but the temptations that came after the pain left were much more insidious. Its a mind game now. Stay vigilant brother.
Once you've decided that you're done, there's nothing that can get in your way. Keep fighting man... you've won every battle everyday so far and there's no reason it shouldn't continue. You aren't alone, reach out if you need to.
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Aaronrep,
5 days is huge! Congrats, brother. The nicotine is gone from your system now. Just think, you're living nic free now. Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I know you still have withdrawal symptoms. But here's the trick...embrace the suck. Turn the tables on the Nic Bitch. DECIDED that you will ENJOY the feeling of your recovery. Every minute of every day your brain is re-wiring itself to live without nic.
Stay strong and stay quit.
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You're "getting small" which isn't a bad idea when you first quit. Life in the bubble is good at first. Keeps you away from a lot of temptations but eventually you have to venture out of the bubble and tackle things head on. Once you realize you can do things that you would normally do 100 out of 100 times with a lip full, is when you really start to build confidence and your quit takes off.
No need to rush it if you're not comfortabld though. Slow and steady wins the race. Keep it up.
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Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
-
Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
-
Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.Â
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
-
Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.Â
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.
-
Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.Â
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.
yes the triggers will fade, the sun will rise, and then you'll see dumb people doing dumb things. take a deep breath and thank god that you made a powerful decision to take your life back. in the beginning it's a struggle, but as all these fine gents say it get's better, alot better. quit with you
-
Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection. Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time). Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.
Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming. As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged. Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come. When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit. That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn.Â
KTC has prepared me well. My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip. I am OK with that. I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer. My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping. I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.
Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.
I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today. That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades. In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on. Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.
I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight. That was the first time I ever spoke those words. I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.
It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number. I have never done 5 days straight without dipping. I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)! I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.
Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother". I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post. It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective. I know what I am doing is hard, the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO. For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do. It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.
I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time. I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow. When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it. I am looking forward to it. That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".
Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)
Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.
Proud to be quit with you,
Dale
Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.
yes the triggers will fade, the sun will rise, and then you'll see dumb people doing dumb things. take a deep breath and thank god that you made a powerful decision to take your life back. in the beginning it's a struggle, but as all these fine gents say it get's better, alot better. quit with you
Awesome post! I knew I was moving in the right direction the first time I was around a person who was chewing and I could smell it from 10ft away and it made me sick. I immediately knew how much of a fool I was for thinking that I was "sneaking" one. What a joke. Non-Chewer can smell a chewer from across the room. I never noticed it because I usually had one in myself. I am proud to be quit with you!! Justin
-
Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:
* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.
* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.
* My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.
Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!
-
Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:
* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.
* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.
* My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.
Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!
awesome brother! one week is huge...
-
Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:
* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.
* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.
*Â My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.
Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!
awesome brother! one week is huge...
nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..
-
Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:
* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.
* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.
*Â My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.
Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!
awesome brother! one week is huge...
nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..
Congratulations on a week aaron, stay strong and keep posting, your insights are great to read. We have each others backs, it is a good feeling to know that!
-
Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:
* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.
* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.
*Â My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.
Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!
awesome brother! one week is huge...
nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..
Congratulations on a week aaron, stay strong and keep posting, your insights are great to read. We have each others backs, it is a good feeling to know that!
Awesome job on making a week!! Just one milestone on the way to many! I am Quit with you Everyday!!
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.Â
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
+1 nice job, congrats on the week
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.Â
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
+1 nice job, congrats on the week
I agree.
These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.
Very proud of you man.
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.Â
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
+1 nice job, congrats on the week
I agree.
These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.
Very proud of you man.
Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.Â
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
+1 nice job, congrats on the week
I agree.
These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.
Very proud of you man.
Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.
I like this guy, nice week bro!
-
Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.
1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.
The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.
These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.
The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.
I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.Â
Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.
Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.
Good on you bro.
+1 nice job, congrats on the week
I agree.
These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.
Very proud of you man.
Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.
I like this guy, nice week bro!
Nice week aaron, keep it going!
-
Day 8 at Noon. Week 1 is down I am starting week 2 feeling great. I just re-read WakeTech's HOF post (index.php?showtopic=7604hl= (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7604&hl=)) for the 50th time.
100 days is just a number and I am not waiting that long to feel wonderful. I am riding a roller coaster, but no doubt about it, as time marches on, it is much more downhill than climbing. Moments happen throughout the day where I get an urge or the anxiety spikes but they don't scare me anymore after a week. It is unpleasant for a bit but I know it will go away. If I need to move it along, exercise, grab the phone or hit the forum. The big change is that I am no longer surprised.
Wake talks about how everything is better without dip and that is what resonates with me. I used to have to plan dip into my activities - when can I sneak away? how long will I be without dip? what excuse will I have to use? will I get caught?.
That is no way to do anything, it is impossible to enjoy anything with those questions lingering over my head.
Living dip free is a new life. I am much more spontaneous as a result and have the opportunity to do so much more livin, - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4%29).
Roller-coaster is pointing straight downhill today: my laugh is louder, my smile is bigger, and my crew (dog, girl, family, friends, and KTC brothers) is helping me enjoy a cold Georgia morning (under 30 degrees) dip free for the very first time.
-
Day 8 at Noon. Week 1 is down I am starting week 2 feeling great. I just re-read WakeTech's HOF post (index.php?showtopic=7604hl= (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7604&hl=)) for the 50th time.
100 days is just a number and I am not waiting that long to feel wonderful. I am riding a roller coaster, but no doubt about it, as time marches on, it is much more downhill than climbing. Moments happen throughout the day where I get an urge or the anxiety spikes but they don't scare me anymore after a week. It is unpleasant for a bit but I know it will go away. If I need to move it along, exercise, grab the phone or hit the forum. The big change is that I am no longer surprised.
Wake talks about how everything is better without dip and that is what resonates with me. I used to have to plan dip into my activities - when can I sneak away? how long will I be without dip? what excuse will I have to use? will I get caught?.
That is no way to do anything, it is impossible to enjoy anything with those questions lingering over my head.
Living dip free is a new life. I am much more spontaneous as a result and have the opportunity to do so much more livin, - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4%29).
Roller-coaster is pointing straight downhill today: my laugh is louder, my smile is bigger, and my crew (dog, girl, family, friends, and KTC brothers) is helping me enjoy a cold Georgia morning (under 30 degrees) dip free for the very first time.
And you don't have to spend time hiding!!!! Quitting with you again today brother.
-
Day 8 at Noon. Week 1 is down I am starting week 2 feeling great. I just re-read WakeTech's HOF post (index.php?showtopic=7604hl= (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7604&hl=)) for the 50th time.
100 days is just a number and I am not waiting that long to feel wonderful. I am riding a roller coaster, but no doubt about it, as time marches on, it is much more downhill than climbing. Moments happen throughout the day where I get an urge or the anxiety spikes but they don't scare me anymore after a week. It is unpleasant for a bit but I know it will go away. If I need to move it along, exercise, grab the phone or hit the forum. The big change is that I am no longer surprised.
Wake talks about how everything is better without dip and that is what resonates with me. I used to have to plan dip into my activities - when can I sneak away? how long will I be without dip? what excuse will I have to use? will I get caught?.Â
That is no way to do anything, it is impossible to enjoy anything with those questions lingering over my head.
Living dip free is a new life. I am much more spontaneous as a result and have the opportunity to do so much more livin, - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4%29).
Roller-coaster is pointing straight downhill today: my laugh is louder, my smile is bigger, and my crew (dog, girl, family, friends, and KTC brothers) is helping me enjoy a cold Georgia morning (under 30 degrees) dip free for the very first time.
Hey man you have that right to feel wonderful everyday you are quit...Is there "good days" and "bad days"? WHO CARES, even a combination of all your "bad days" quit is better than your best day chewing. Have a plan for tonight? You have my number, I quit with you
Waketech 112
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Day 8 at Noon. Week 1 is down I am starting week 2 feeling great. I just re-read WakeTech's HOF post (index.php?showtopic=7604hl= (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7604&hl=)) for the 50th time.
100 days is just a number and I am not waiting that long to feel wonderful. I am riding a roller coaster, but no doubt about it, as time marches on, it is much more downhill than climbing. Moments happen throughout the day where I get an urge or the anxiety spikes but they don't scare me anymore after a week. It is unpleasant for a bit but I know it will go away. If I need to move it along, exercise, grab the phone or hit the forum. The big change is that I am no longer surprised.
Wake talks about how everything is better without dip and that is what resonates with me. I used to have to plan dip into my activities - when can I sneak away? how long will I be without dip? what excuse will I have to use? will I get caught?.Â
That is no way to do anything, it is impossible to enjoy anything with those questions lingering over my head.
Living dip free is a new life. I am much more spontaneous as a result and have the opportunity to do so much more livin, - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls_8cFgBUj4%29).
Roller-coaster is pointing straight downhill today: my laugh is louder, my smile is bigger, and my crew (dog, girl, family, friends, and KTC brothers) is helping me enjoy a cold Georgia morning (under 30 degrees) dip free for the very first time.
Hey man you have that right to feel wonderful everyday you are quit...Is there "good days" and "bad days"? WHO CARES, even a combination of all your "bad days" quit is better than your best day chewing. Have a plan for tonight? You have my number, I quit with you
Waketech 112
When times are good, we practice for the bad.
When the bad times roll around, we lean on what we learned. We do this by habit without thought.
Post roll.
Keep your word.
Repeat.
-
Day 10, 5:30PM. I didn't have time to write the past few days, I was living to quit. I spent my first week quitting to live. I have the program in place to be successful and just as my brothers told me about what would happen, I no longer think about quit all day. I am quit and I think about living my new life all day.
I still have craves. Finish a good meal or get some unexpected alone time and I will be thinking about a long and tasty dip. I don't do it and the thoughts go away in seconds. I feel my clean teeth or look at my clean nails and I have an immediate trigger to say no. I used to only focus on the triggers to say yes. Quite a reversal.
I think about my brothers throughout the day. I like the getting a text message or checking someones post. I like checking in, sending a text, and writing a post. KTC is a part of my life and I am so happy as a result. I was told early on that receiving help from KTC makes the quit easier but I will find that giving others help will have major rewards. Again, my brothers were right.
I don't just owe my life to KTC, that isn't enough. My old life was worthless, filled with lying, cheating, worrying, and disappointing others. I owe my new life to KTC. This is where the days are long and wonderful and my relationships are strong and not mired in deception.
I quit with my brothers today. Tomorrow, I plan to do the same.
-
Day 16 at 9PM (Roll Tide? Why not, I live in the South)
Time is flying by and the transformation is happening. I haven't missed a roll call but I am no longer waking up with quit being the first thing on my mind. The random triggers no longer exist but a post meal crave is still around. I also get a sharp reminder when I am left alone or have to get a pile of computer work done.
KTC gets me through the hard times. I have made a commitment each day to myself and to my brothers to not dip. We are fighting the fight together and looking at the March spreadsheet, I think we are doing pretty good.
At this stage of my quit, I can finally acknowledge my addiction. I am always going to have an addiction and I am always going to have to fight it daily. I am OK with that, it means that each day I will have a chance to win and feel good about myself.
Today was the first time I went inside a convenience store. I saw the Peach Wolf rolls stacked up on the shelf knowing that it was purchased for me (I would always buy 3 rolls per week to get 2 a day plus one for just in case). I proudly announced that I am at day 16 of my quit and wouldn't be buying today. That felt good. Today is another good day and I am looking forward to tomorrow.
I quit with Taz, JW, Grover and the rest of my brothers...I couldn't do it without you.
-
Enjoy the easy times bro. Your addiction aint quite done with you yet.
Awesome reading. Thanks for sharing.
-
I'm on day 7, and I just wanted to say that reading through your intro thread has been the peak of a day full of highs (reading on here and texting fellow KTC members, crushing work and taking my mind of things, planning a getaway with the gf) and lows (headaches, a friend caving, a BCS game aka a trigger). You have a way of capturing exactly what I'm going through and I got goosebumps a couple times seeing you detail how you fought the urge. PM me if you ever want to talk, and I honestly hope I can do the same with you.
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Day 21, 7:30AM
Finishing up week 3 today. I was excited to wake up today and get 3 weeks under my belt. It doesn't feel any different. I had my morning crave as I finished up the last bite of my breakfast just like every other morning since my quit started.
I continue to live my life on a roller-coaster. I am frustrated and pissed when I have a crave. I can't believe I did this to myself. I also have times where euphoria sets in because of my quit. I can't stop looking at my white teeth and clean nails. Not worrying about my next dip or where did I leave my spitter has made my life so much better.
This has been incredibly hard but so worth it.
I don't want to ever start over.
It is getting better everyday.
I couldn't do it without this site or the accountability to my brothers.
I no longer write everyday, but I always read. Lot's of power and strength derived from not feeling alone. I need it today, even after 3 weeks of quit.
-
Day 21, 7:30AM
Finishing up week 3 today. I was excited to wake up today and get 3 weeks under my belt. It doesn't feel any different. I had my morning crave as I finished up the last bite of my breakfast just like every other morning since my quit started.
I continue to live my life on a roller-coaster. I am frustrated and pissed when I have a crave. I can't believe I did this to myself. I also have times where euphoria sets in because of my quit. I can't stop looking at my white teeth and clean nails. Not worrying about my next dip or where did I leave my spitter has made my life so much better.
This has been incredibly hard but so worth it.
I don't want to ever start over.
It is getting better everyday.
I couldn't do it without this site or the accountability to my brothers.
I no longer write everyday, but I always read. Lot's of power and strength derived from not feeling alone. I need it today, even after 3 weeks of quit.
One day at a time.. when the crave comes just throw in a toothpick or gum.. the craves will start to go away. (Really) be sure and exercise when you feel the emptiness. You're past the toughest part, but need to stay vigilant.. you don't dip anymore it's that simple... quit with you
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Day 21, 7:30AM
Finishing up week 3 today. I was excited to wake up today and get 3 weeks under my belt. It doesn't feel any different. I had my morning crave as I finished up the last bite of my breakfast just like every other morning since my quit started.
I continue to live my life on a roller-coaster. I am frustrated and pissed when I have a crave. I can't believe I did this to myself. I also have times where euphoria sets in because of my quit. I can't stop looking at my white teeth and clean nails. Not worrying about my next dip or where did I leave my spitter has made my life so much better.
This has been incredibly hard but so worth it.
I don't want to ever start over.
It is getting better everyday.
I couldn't do it without this site or the accountability to my brothers.
I no longer write everyday, but I always read. Lot's of power and strength derived from not feeling alone. I need it today, even after 3 weeks of quit.
One day at a time.. when the crave comes just throw in a toothpick or gum.. the craves will start to go away. (Really) be sure and exercise when you feel the emptiness. You're past the toughest part, but need to stay vigilant.. you don't dip anymore it's that simple... quit with you
'clap'
-
I have taken a lot of things from my time here on the KTC. Aaronp seems to personify one thing. That no matter whether you are on day one or day 1000 we all help each other. The KTC feeds itself. New peeps come on here for support and we strengthen our quits by supporting them. I know I got thru day 1 thru 5 because of people reaching out to me and giving me advice. I got thru Days 6 to now by reading intro's and reaching out to the newbie's. We all strengthen our Quits by either reaching out for help or offering that help and support. I have been blown away by the impact that a bunch of faceless strangers on the internet can do for each other. I know that we all feel this but Aaron just has a way of putting it too words that inspire and allow others to relate. Keep doing what you are doing my brother! I read your stuff everytime you post!! I quit with you my friend!
J
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Day 21, 7:30AM
Finishing up week 3 today. I was excited to wake up today and get 3 weeks under my belt. It doesn't feel any different. I had my morning crave as I finished up the last bite of my breakfast just like every other morning since my quit started.
I continue to live my life on a roller-coaster. I am frustrated and pissed when I have a crave. I can't believe I did this to myself. I also have times where euphoria sets in because of my quit. I can't stop looking at my white teeth and clean nails. Not worrying about my next dip or where did I leave my spitter has made my life so much better.
This has been incredibly hard but so worth it.
I don't want to ever start over.
It is getting better everyday.
I couldn't do it without this site or the accountability to my brothers.
I no longer write everyday, but I always read. Lot's of power and strength derived from not feeling alone. I need it today, even after 3 weeks of quit.
One day at a time.. when the crave comes just throw in a toothpick or gum.. the craves will start to go away. (Really) be sure and exercise when you feel the emptiness. You're past the toughest part, but need to stay vigilant.. you don't dip anymore it's that simple... quit with you
'clap'
That roller coaster with flatten out real soon friend. Just keep at it.
This is shaping up to be one hell of an intro thread, good work and thanks for posting your thoughts.
-
I have taken a lot of things from my time here on the KTC. Aaronp seems to personify one thing. That no matter whether you are on day one or day 1000 we all help each other. The KTC feeds itself. New peeps come on here for support and we strengthen our quits by supporting them. I know I got thru day 1 thru 5 because of people reaching out to me and giving me advice. I got thru Days 6 to now by reading intro's and reaching out to the newbie's. We all strengthen our Quits by either reaching out for help or offering that help and support. I have been blown away by the impact that a bunch of faceless strangers on the internet can do for each other. I know that we all feel this but Aaron just has a way of putting it too words that inspire and allow others to relate. Keep doing what you are doing my brother! I read your stuff everytime you post!! I quit with you my friend!
J
Werd
B)
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Day 38, 10:30PM
"Lately it occurs to me: What a long, strange trip it's been."
I haven't updated my thread in a few weeks but I have posted roll each day. The fog has lifted and I am seeing behind the curtain a bit these days. Still not exactly sure what I am looking at. I started dipping at 19 and I am on the verge of 42 next month which means that I spent more of my lifetime dipping than not dipping. (I am not unique, lots of folks at KTC are in the same boat.)
I am learning how to live a life without dip and that is really strange. All my relationships have changed. I look at people differently and I am sure that I act different around them. I am not the same person.
I am traveling for work again these days (I took time off for the early stages of quit) and I take isle seats on the plane. Always had a window when I was dipping, not anymore. I find myself talking to strangers, flight attendants, etc. I never did that before. On my last flight, some guy had the window next to me and put in a dip after his co-worker in the other row started reading a book. It was funny to watch, he was probably sweating it out waiting for her eyes to look the other way and stop talking to him. I used to be that douche. I felt pretty good about my quit during that flight.
I join the folks who work for me at lunch or out for coffee. I never did that before. I like the people I work with. I like people and they seem to like me. This new life is a little awkward at times, like I don't know what to do all the time. I maybe weird but I am free. I am not thinking about running away and having a dip. I am now running toward life, it is really cool.
I enjoy everything in life a bit more without dip. I am not in a rush to be by myself. The people I am with get my undivided attention, without dip, I can't multi-task or stay up late. It spooks some of them because they don't know what I am going through.
My days are shorter because I go to sleep earlier. All the worthless crap I used to do after my girl went to bed doesn't get done. I am not missing anything. I just DVR Justified and watch Raylen Givins some other time. I am not in a hurry to do anything these days. I no longer have any anxiety. I realize that the anxiety came from panic about my next dip or lost spitter. Everything is different.
I have lost some friends during this rebirth. I believe that life is short because I lost out on so much while dipping. I want to prioritize the time I have left in my life with the most important people. I used to have some friends and co-workers that I spent lots of time on the phone with. Looking back, that was just an excuse to have a dip while shooting the breeze. I don't want to be on the phone having a dip, I want to be outside, enjoying my life with the folks I truly want to be with.
I am an addict. I have thought about having a dip every day since my quit started. I probably always will. One of the best KTC reminders is "1 problem + 1 dip = 2 problems". Another thing that stays top of mind from KTC is that everything I am thinking or feeling isn't new. Someone at KTC faced the same thing before me and lived to tell. I like keeping the legacy going.
It feels like I have been quit for years. I can't remember when I started but it feels like forever ago. I just passed the 5 week mark. I am the runt of my quit group and I will be the last to the HOF - bringing up the rear. That is my role in this family. I take that responsibility very seriously. I am counting on the early guys to cross the HOF line first, I want to celebrate with Taz at his 100 days. When Grover hits a 100, I am expecting a really nasty, dirty HOF speech. I can't wait. You guys are counting on me to do my job as well - the ass end of the mad men of quit. I quit with my brothers today tomorrow I will do the same. I look forward to it.
KTC works. Go figure.
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Day 38, 10:30PM
"Lately it occurs to me: What a long, strange trip it's been."
I haven't updated my thread in a few weeks but I have posted roll each day. The fog has lifted and I am seeing behind the curtain a bit these days. Still not exactly sure what I am looking at. I started dipping at 19 and I am on the verge of 42 next month which means that I spent more of my lifetime dipping than not dipping. (I am not unique, lots of folks at KTC are in the same boat.)
I am learning how to live a life without dip and that is really strange. All my relationships have changed. I look at people differently and I am sure that I act different around them. I am not the same person.
I am traveling for work again these days (I took time off for the early stages of quit) and I take isle seats on the plane. Always had a window when I was dipping, not anymore. I find myself talking to strangers, flight attendants, etc. I never did that before. On my last flight, some guy had the window next to me and put in a dip after his co-worker in the other row started reading a book. It was funny to watch, he was probably sweating it out waiting for her eyes to look the other way and stop talking to him. I used to be that douche. I felt pretty good about my quit during that flight.
I join the folks who work for me at lunch or out for coffee. I never did that before. I like the people I work with. I like people and they seem to like me. This new life is a little awkward at times, like I don't know what to do all the time. I maybe weird but I am free. I am not thinking about running away and having a dip. I am now running toward life, it is really cool.
I enjoy everything in life a bit more without dip. I am not in a rush to be by myself. The people I am with get my undivided attention, without dip, I can't multi-task or stay up late. It spooks some of them because they don't know what I am going through.
My days are shorter because I go to sleep earlier. All the worthless crap I used to do after my girl went to bed doesn't get done. I am not missing anything. I just DVR Justified and watch Raylen Givins some other time. I am not in a hurry to do anything these days. I no longer have any anxiety. I realize that the anxiety came from panic about my next dip or lost spitter. Everything is different.
I have lost some friends during this rebirth. I believe that life is short because I lost out on so much while dipping. I want to prioritize the time I have left in my life with the most important people. I used to have some friends and co-workers that I spent lots of time on the phone with. Looking back, that was just an excuse to have a dip while shooting the breeze. I don't want to be on the phone having a dip, I want to be outside, enjoying my life with the folks I truly want to be with.
I am an addict. I have thought about having a dip every day since my quit started. I probably always will. One of the best KTC reminders is "1 problem + 1 dip = 2 problems". Another thing that stays top of mind from KTC is that everything I am thinking or feeling isn't new. Someone at KTC faced the same thing before me and lived to tell. I like keeping the legacy going.
It feels like I have been quit for years. I can't remember when I started but it feels like forever ago. I just passed the 5 week mark. I am the runt of my quit group and I will be the last to the HOF - bringing up the rear. That is my role in this family. I take that responsibility very seriously. I am counting on the early guys to cross the HOF line first, I want to celebrate with Taz at his 100 days. When Grover hits a 100, I am expecting a really nasty, dirty HOF speech. I can't wait. You guys are counting on me to do my job as well - the ass end of the mad men of quit. I quit with my brothers today tomorrow I will do the same. I look forward to it.
KTC works. Go figure.
Amen Brother!!
'clap'
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Day 55, Noon.
Formally Ninja Dipper, I am now Ninja Quitter!
Doubt this is the best way to go, but one of the things that I have learned during the early stages of quit, is 'don't take on more than you can handle'. Multi-tasking is a nightmare, even after 55 days, so I just don't do it. My quit is the most important thing to me. Work can wait, obviously. Family can wait, they don't notice, Exercise and water CAN'T wait, that has been a staple since day 1 and continues to make life better. Friends are a different story for me.
As quit, you have so many more productive hours a day but when you remove multi-tasking or late night alone time, the day is short. I make lists and get the important stuff done - core relationships, essential work, and exercise. The other stuff just doesn't get done. I don't always return calls or make plans with friends on the fringe, I want to, but I don't have the time. When the anxiety of keeping the friendship alive gets to be too much for me, I drop the friend.
If I wasn't a ninja quitter, I could probably disclose what I am going through, and likely get lots of support. However, I kinda of like this trimming out process. Quit gives me such a different perspective about everything, especially identifying what is really important.
It is not a completely perfect plan. I have to post roll really fast in the AM. I make sure to delete the emails/texts from my KTC brothers after I read/reply so I don't get caught. I am missing out on some get-togethers (virtual, in-person, facebook, etc.) because of my ninja style.
I don't tell folks because in addition to being embarrassed, I don't think that I am up for the repercussions. Coming out as a quit 20+ year dipper to friends/family is going to lead to lots of questions and long conversations. My fragile quit brain just isn't ready yet.
Maybe later, maybe not. Not really sure and not going to think about it. It isn't that important to me just yet. Let me continue to trim the fat that has accumulated in my life and see what comes out the other side. I still don't really know who I am going to be in the long run...except for a guy with a strong quit going everyday.
I should be jumping in to help out the newbies but my ninja style limits me. That makes me a little sad but I am going to try to post a bit more. Reading others continues to help me so I will try to return the favor.
Almost 8 weeks in the can, love my quit, love my brothers.
Aaron
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Aaron like you I am a ninja quitter. Other than KTC my wife is the only person I've shared my quit with. We are not alone. I on the other hand have filled my time with time online, like now I'm setting in my pickup typing rather than working on the task I started. I've filled those many hours of former dipping with KTC reading and sharing experiences. I know that letting go and unloading our burden can be good but somethings are our own burden to carry and telling others will serve no real purpose. If you ever need to unload just pm me.
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Day 55, Noon.
Formally Ninja Dipper, I am now Ninja Quitter!
Doubt this is the best way to go, but one of the things that I have learned during the early stages of quit, is 'don't take on more than you can handle'. Multi-tasking is a nightmare, even after 55 days, so I just don't do it. My quit is the most important thing to me. Work can wait, obviously. Family can wait, they don't notice, Exercise and water CAN'T wait, that has been a staple since day 1 and continues to make life better. Friends are a different story for me.
As quit, you have so many more productive hours a day but when you remove multi-tasking or late night alone time, the day is short. I make lists and get the important stuff done - core relationships, essential work, and exercise. The other stuff just doesn't get done. I don't always return calls or make plans with friends on the fringe, I want to, but I don't have the time. When the anxiety of keeping the friendship alive gets to be too much for me, I drop the friend.
If I wasn't a ninja quitter, I could probably disclose what I am going through, and likely get lots of support. However, I kinda of like this trimming out process. Quit gives me such a different perspective about everything, especially identifying what is really important.
It is not a completely perfect plan. I have to post roll really fast in the AM. I make sure to delete the emails/texts from my KTC brothers after I read/reply so I don't get caught. I am missing out on some get-togethers (virtual, in-person, facebook, etc.) because of my ninja style.
I don't tell folks because in addition to being embarrassed, I don't think that I am up for the repercussions. Coming out as a quit 20+ year dipper to friends/family is going to lead to lots of questions and long conversations. My fragile quit brain just isn't ready yet.
Maybe later, maybe not. Not really sure and not going to think about it. It isn't that important to me just yet. Let me continue to trim the fat that has accumulated in my life and see what comes out the other side. I still don't really know who I am going to be in the long run...except for a guy with a strong quit going everyday.
I should be jumping in to help out the newbies but my ninja style limits me. That makes me a little sad but I am going to try to post a bit more. Reading others continues to help me so I will try to return the favor.
Almost 8 weeks in the can, love my quit, love my brothers.
Aaron
How you treat your Quit is your business and your business alone. I on the other hand, was an open dipper for the most part. So I told key people in my life when I first quit to basically screw myself. They knew I quit. They had quit themselves and would hold me to it. Add in the KTC and you have a HOF quit to this point. There is nothing that says you have to get involved with the newbies. I pulled back from doing it for awhile because there were so many ups and downs that it was affecting my quit. I would get way to vested in some peeps quits and they would cave. It killed me!!!! So pick your spots. Read the intro's etc etc and when you feel inspired to reach out.....do so!! If your fam and friends were not aware of your habit....then there is no reason to talk abou your quit unless you need the support. Proud to be quit with you bro!
J
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Day 67, 7:30PM
Still winning the fights for quit. I haven't had an easy day in my 2+ months of quit. I guess that it takes longer than 2+ months to erase 20+ years of dipping.
After 67 days, I know how to say no. I know how much suck is involved with starting over and I know that adding dip to any problem makes more problems.
I remind myself to stay positive, I am now living without lies and that has been the greatest gift from KTC. My brothers are HOF bound in the next few days and I am looking forward to joining them. Lots of good in my life these days, I owe it all to KTC, very grateful, very proud of my 67 days.
My girl just spent a weekend with me in Toronto. I really liked my first vacation without dip. I am experiencing so many things for the first time and each one is amazing. Doing anything without the pressure of sneaking in a dip is a different experience and so much better. It's pretty easy to be positive with so many reminders of dip-free living benefits.
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Some good poo poo right there.
The easy days will come bro...promise.
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Day 73, Noon.
Here is a post that might help some of the new guys.
I have spent lots of time trying to understand how my fucked up my brain works during these 10+ weeks of quit and you guys might be able to relate. One of the most powerful aspects of this community is that you will never be the "first" to experience something related to dip or quit. Your KTC brothers, as a whole, have been where you are...and most importantly, they survived and are still quit. No matter what crave you face, others have felt it, and moved passed it without quitting. You can win the battle with nic and stay quit, it has been proven, that is why this community works for me.
My battles with craves come in these areas and they are very different from each other and require a different strategy to fight them off.
1. Anxiety. This is the most frequent. Being without dip has me on "high alert" for everything. In the beginning, this contributed to major outbursts. Definitely the girlfriend got hit with this one the hardest. I have lost friends. I no longer have tolerance for things that used to just bounce off me. If something bothers me while quit, I drop it. Quit is that important to me. My biggest contributor to anxiety was the change in my ability to multi-task when quit. With a dip in place, I used to be on a conference call, working on the computer, watching tv, and having lunch at the same time. I just can't do that anymore. If I am walking the dog and I hear my phone ring (call, email, text, etc.), I can feel the anxiety coming on. My brain immediately tells me that if I had a dip in, I would immediately calm down and be able to handle this. So, this is what I do in my quit world: I ignore it. One task at a time. Life isn't going to end if I just prioritize and do things in order. I make lists and cross things off. I used to be embarrassed about my new life process but I realized pretty early on that my quit is most important and all else be dammed. In the beginning, around day 5, I didn't know about this trigger and while I was walking the dog, my phone started blowing up. Phone calls, emails, texts, I need this now, can you do it tonight, call me back, etc. It wouldn't stop. I was freaking out! I reached out to my brothers and Taz answered the phone. I spoke with him for 90 seconds, realized that life wasn't going to end, I could do this without a dip, and moved on. Crave gone, no cave, and back to the business of quit. Keep your numbers with you. Taz didn't save my quit but he sure made my quit easier.
2. Boredom. If I have free time and I am alone, a crave is coming. Just knowing that I am going to have free time, alone, later...the thought of a crave starts to enter into my head. This one is the hardest. This is where KTC helps me and lots of others. Getting on the site, reading, posting, chat, etc. really works. Coming home and turning on the TV and surfing doesn't exist in my quit life. That is just an invitation for a crave. In short, don't do it. Make plans, exercise, call your mother, get on the site, write a long post (i.e. what I am doing now)...don't sit at home with your remote. One of my brothers suggested jerking-off. Do anything to keep active!
3. Familiarity. This one is the hardest crave to overcome but goes away first, thankfully. In the beginning, post meal dips invite the biggest crave. That actually went away quickly. Your brain starts to learn that you are not going to dip after a meal and eventually stops asking. From what I read on the site, if you cook up a monster steak, you might be thinking about a fat lip afterward. For me, this goes along with drinking. You do these things, no matter how long you are quit, you are inviting a crave.
In summary, you are not alone. Someone at KTC has felt what you are feeling on your darkest, hardest day...and they are still quit. It can be done, KTC provides proof.
PM if you need help. My time to pay it forward.
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Day 81, 1:30PM
The numbers are staggering. I will come back to this at the end.
As my month started entering the HOF, I just started looking at the other quit groups and the spreadsheets. I have not done much for others in KTC since I joined. I made connections within my month that have helped me stay strong in my quit but I haven't stepped outside the group.
When I started, I only looked at the introductions from folks in my month or the vets that reached out to me. I created a pretty tight circle of folks that I monitored. I kept an eye on their posts, their comments, and their HOF speeches. I didn't spend much time in the chat room so this was how I created my sense of accountability beyond strangers. I made sure I knew the back stories (for those who shared) and while I didn't know what someone looked like, I knew where they lived, marital status, children or not, job, etc. It was my way of making these people real.
The numbers in my group started shrinking. Grover told me a week ago that typically only a third of a group will make the HOF. That lets me know how powerful this drug really is. For most of the folks in my circle, we were all 20+ year dippers and making the HOF is good but less than a third of a year quit compared to 20 years of not quit isn't much.
The month after mine has already lost more than half and the month after that one has lost a higher percentage in a shorter period of time.
The really scary part is that the total number of quit + 'quit and fail' keeps growing month after month. More and more are addicted. I would like to think we are making an impact based on how much the site and people on it are changing my life for the better. I think I will choose to believe that for today as I try to find ways to help others as others have helped me.
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Day 81, 1:30PM
The numbers are staggering. I will come back to this at the end.
As my month started entering the HOF, I just started looking at the other quit groups and the spreadsheets. I have not done much for others in KTC since I joined. I made connections within my month that have helped me stay strong in my quit but I haven't stepped outside the group.
When I started, I only looked at the introductions from folks in my month or the vets that reached out to me. I created a pretty tight circle of folks that I monitored. I kept an eye on their posts, their comments, and their HOF speeches. I didn't spend much time in the chat room so this was how I created my sense of accountability beyond strangers. I made sure I knew the back stories (for those who shared) and while I didn't know what someone looked like, I knew where they lived, marital status, children or not, job, etc. It was my way of making these people real.
The numbers in my group started shrinking. Grover told me a week ago that typically only a third of a group will make the HOF. That lets me know how powerful this drug really is. For most of the folks in my circle, we were all 20+ year dippers and making the HOF is good but less than a third of a year quit compared to 20 years of not quit isn't much.
The month after mine has already lost more than half and the month after that one has lost a higher percentage in a shorter period of time.
The really scary part is that the total number of quit + 'quit and fail' keeps growing month after month. More and more are addicted. I would like to think we are making an impact based on how much the site and people on it are changing my life for the better. I think I will choose to believe that for today as I try to find ways to help others as others have helped me.
Percentages mean shit to you personally. No percentage is going to dictate your success or failure in this. Don't think that we are just feathers in the wind here. Percentages are statistical representations of a large group of people, and you are you.
The fall off occurs because people are not as diligent post-HOF as they were before. The vets don't watch as closely. The spotlight is off. Those that left the door open (and viewed this as a 100 day challenge) are left wondering what to strive for when in reality they are already doing it.
That's what really pisses me off.
I'm day 623 today. I'm fighting the exact same battle as you. No differences. We walk the same path. I walk this path with you, and you with me. I offer you no excuses. I accept no failure.
You know why?
We choose to walk this path together.
Those that "fall off" choose to lag behind. They sniff the daisies. They wander off alone. When they see danger, they are either too frightened to scream or choose suicide. They don't polish the weapons that help them survive. Hell, they sometimes carry new unproven weapons. Sometimes, they work. Sometimes, they're duds.
I have been successful for 623 days because I don't walk this alone. I choose to quit, and it hasn't always been easy. Sometimes, it downright sucks.
I do this because I choose to do it.
You can too, and you are. Keep up the great work, and I'm very proud of you.
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Day 81, 1:30PM
The numbers are staggering. I will come back to this at the end.
As my month started entering the HOF, I just started looking at the other quit groups and the spreadsheets. I have not done much for others in KTC since I joined. I made connections within my month that have helped me stay strong in my quit but I haven't stepped outside the group.Â
When I started, I only looked at the introductions from folks in my month or the vets that reached out to me. I created a pretty tight circle of folks that I monitored. I kept an eye on their posts, their comments, and their HOF speeches. I didn't spend much time in the chat room so this was how I created my sense of accountability beyond strangers. I made sure I knew the back stories (for those who shared) and while I didn't know what someone looked like, I knew where they lived, marital status, children or not, job, etc. It was my way of making these people real.
The numbers in my group started shrinking. Grover told me a week ago that typically only a third of a group will make the HOF. That lets me know how powerful this drug really is. For most of the folks in my circle, we were all 20+ year dippers and making the HOF is good but less than a third of a year quit compared to 20 years of not quit isn't much.
The month after mine has already lost more than half and the month after that one has lost a higher percentage in a shorter period of time.
The really scary part is that the total number of quit + 'quit and fail' keeps growing month after month. More and more are addicted. I would like to think we are making an impact based on how much the site and people on it are changing my life for the better. I think I will choose to believe that for today as I try to find ways to help others as others have helped me.
Percentages mean shit to you personally. No percentage is going to dictate your success or failure in this. Don't think that we are just feathers in the wind here. Percentages are statistical representations of a large group of people, and you are you.
The fall off occurs because people are not as diligent post-HOF as they were before. The vets don't watch as closely. The spotlight is off. Those that left the door open (and viewed this as a 100 day challenge) are left wondering what to strive for when in reality they are already doing it.
That's what really pisses me off.
I'm day 623 today. I'm fighting the exact same battle as you. No differences. We walk the same path. I walk this path with you, and you with me. I offer you no excuses. I accept no failure.
You know why?
We choose to walk this path together.
Those that "fall off" choose to lag behind. They sniff the daisies. They wander off alone. When they see danger, they are either too frightened to scream or choose suicide. They don't polish the weapons that help them survive. Hell, they sometimes carry new unproven weapons. Sometimes, they work. Sometimes, they're duds.
I have been successful for 623 days because I don't walk this alone. I choose to quit, and it hasn't always been easy. Sometimes, it downright sucks.
I do this because I choose to do it.
You can too, and you are. Keep up the great work, and I'm very proud of you.
Here is the percentage that is personally meaningful. That is 100%. To a person you are either quit (100%) or not quit (0%).
I am glad to have ridden the wave from KTC to make that 100%. It is true that the 35% ish per quit group is the number on the average that make the 100 days.
But again look at that 100%. We are taught lessons on this site, We quit one day at a time. We lean on our brothers when we need it and are there for them when they need it. It all goes to that 100% of ourselves being quit.
It is a little scary to watch some dirft away, and even hate to see them return with a Day 1, but I know for me (and think for you now too) that we keep that 100% close, that we use what we learned here (giving our word daily).
And I will stay that 100%, and will give my word tomorrow of the same
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Day 81, 1:30PM
The numbers are staggering. I will come back to this at the end.
As my month started entering the HOF, I just started looking at the other quit groups and the spreadsheets. I have not done much for others in KTC since I joined. I made connections within my month that have helped me stay strong in my quit but I haven't stepped outside the group.Â
When I started, I only looked at the introductions from folks in my month or the vets that reached out to me. I created a pretty tight circle of folks that I monitored. I kept an eye on their posts, their comments, and their HOF speeches. I didn't spend much time in the chat room so this was how I created my sense of accountability beyond strangers. I made sure I knew the back stories (for those who shared) and while I didn't know what someone looked like, I knew where they lived, marital status, children or not, job, etc. It was my way of making these people real.
The numbers in my group started shrinking. Grover told me a week ago that typically only a third of a group will make the HOF. That lets me know how powerful this drug really is. For most of the folks in my circle, we were all 20+ year dippers and making the HOF is good but less than a third of a year quit compared to 20 years of not quit isn't much.
The month after mine has already lost more than half and the month after that one has lost a higher percentage in a shorter period of time.
The really scary part is that the total number of quit + 'quit and fail' keeps growing month after month. More and more are addicted. I would like to think we are making an impact based on how much the site and people on it are changing my life for the better. I think I will choose to believe that for today as I try to find ways to help others as others have helped me.
Percentages mean shit to you personally. No percentage is going to dictate your success or failure in this. Don't think that we are just feathers in the wind here. Percentages are statistical representations of a large group of people, and you are you.
The fall off occurs because people are not as diligent post-HOF as they were before. The vets don't watch as closely. The spotlight is off. Those that left the door open (and viewed this as a 100 day challenge) are left wondering what to strive for when in reality they are already doing it.
That's what really pisses me off.
I'm day 623 today. I'm fighting the exact same battle as you. No differences. We walk the same path. I walk this path with you, and you with me. I offer you no excuses. I accept no failure.
You know why?
We choose to walk this path together.
Those that "fall off" choose to lag behind. They sniff the daisies. They wander off alone. When they see danger, they are either too frightened to scream or choose suicide. They don't polish the weapons that help them survive. Hell, they sometimes carry new unproven weapons. Sometimes, they work. Sometimes, they're duds.
I have been successful for 623 days because I don't walk this alone. I choose to quit, and it hasn't always been easy. Sometimes, it downright sucks.
I do this because I choose to do it.
You can too, and you are. Keep up the great work, and I'm very proud of you.
Here is the percentage that is personally meaningful. That is 100%. To a person you are either quit (100%) or not quit (0%).
I am glad to have ridden the wave from KTC to make that 100%. It is true that the 35% ish per quit group is the number on the average that make the 100 days.
But again look at that 100%. We are taught lessons on this site, We quit one day at a time. We lean on our brothers when we need it and are there for them when they need it. It all goes to that 100% of ourselves being quit.
It is a little scary to watch some dirft away, and even hate to see them return with a Day 1, but I know for me (and think for you now too) that we keep that 100% close, that we use what we learned here (giving our word daily).
And I will stay that 100%, and will give my word tomorrow of the same
Awesome posts right here. Thanks guys.
Aaron, congrats on 81. I don't know why we haven't crossed paths but I am in your group and just a few days behind. I have seen your name on roll but I guess we started with a huge group. I suspect it is always like that for Jan. There are probably a lot of "New Years resolution" quitters I guess?
I like the 100 day challenge comment from waste. Nothing could be further from the truth. Any folks that view HOF in that way, (either in theory or practice) are doomed in my opinion. I view the HOF like "an opening ceromony". It marks the very begining of a lifetime of quit.
Proud to be quit with you gentlemen.
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Day 97, 9AM
Riding the roller coaster of quit takes me to the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I have recognized that living without dip continues to surprise me in such a positive way.
I went through a divorce a few years ago and I remember pushing friends and family away so I could enter a dip coma in my never ending desire to "calm down" or "relax" using dip. A few weeks into quit, I think most of us realize that dip doesn't do that for us so I am left with relationships that I was trying to sabotage.
My dog died yesterday. He had 14 years of life and 11 with me. I am surrounded by friends and family to help morn his passing and celebrate his life. This is so much better. I hate that dip robbed me of this support in the past when I could have used the company.
I have used my introduction as my personal quit diary so I am going to tell my dog story and hope others will add theirs.
- In my mid 20's, I accepted a job promotion/transfer and went to live in a big city where I didn't know anyone. After buying a house and getting settled in, I decided that I would volunteer on the weekends to try and meet people (translation = find hot girls and get laid). I wound up at the humaine society and spent a day helping families learn about dogs that they might want to adopt. At the end of my shift, they informed me that on Sunday, they prepare the dogs that will be killed on Monday to make room for the new ones coming in. That freaked me out a bit so I adopted a young dog and got the hell out of there.
- I got lucky, this dog turned out to be amazing, and 8 years later, we moved into my next house in another city. I had a great backyard that fed into some woods but my dog never needed to be tied up and never left my side so he would roam free. One cold night, he took off into the woods. I waited a few hours and around midnight, I started the search without luck. It was around 4AM and below freezing when my dog came back home...with a friend. They were immediate friends and inseparable. On the first night together, I put down 2 dog beds on the opposite sides of the room and in the morning, they had pushed them together so they would be near each other. I tried to find the owner but nobody claimed him.
- I lost my rescue dog a few years ago and had my new dog to help me move forward. Now he has passed and I think I am going to take some time away from dogs. My new dog was amazing. Someone really trained him up because he knew every trick in the book, was an amazing frisbee catcher, and never left my side. He went everywhere with me and I loved the company. I hope I gave him a good life, he sure did make mine better.
Looking forward to reading other stories if you care to share. Just to give some hope to the new quitters. I dipped for over 20 years and have just under 3 months of quit, and I didn't think about the can during a most difficult yesterday. Good times ahead.
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Please accept my condolences for your dog.
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Day 97, 9AM
Riding the roller coaster of quit takes me to the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I have recognized that living without dip continues to surprise me in such a positive way.
I went through a divorce a few years ago and I remember pushing friends and family away so I could enter a dip coma in my never ending desire to "calm down" or "relax" using dip. A few weeks into quit, I think most of us realize that dip doesn't do that for us so I am left with relationships that I was trying to sabotage.
My dog died yesterday. He had 14 years of life and 11 with me. I am surrounded by friends and family to help morn his passing and celebrate his life. This is so much better. I hate that dip robbed me of this support in the past when I could have used the company.
I have used my introduction as my personal quit diary so I am going to tell my dog story and hope others will add theirs.
- In my mid 20's, I accepted a job promotion/transfer and went to live in a big city where I didn't know anyone. After buying a house and getting settled in, I decided that I would volunteer on the weekends to try and meet people (translation = find hot girls and get laid). I wound up at the humaine society and spent a day helping families learn about dogs that they might want to adopt. At the end of my shift, they informed me that on Sunday, they prepare the dogs that will be killed on Monday to make room for the new ones coming in. That freaked me out a bit so I adopted a young dog and got the hell out of there.
- I got lucky, this dog turned out to be amazing, and 8 years later, we moved into my next house in another city. I had a great backyard that fed into some woods but my dog never needed to be tied up and never left my side so he would roam free. One cold night, he took off into the woods. I waited a few hours and around midnight, I started the search without luck. It was around 4AM and below freezing when my dog came back home...with a friend. They were immediate friends and inseparable. On the first night together, I put down 2 dog beds on the opposite sides of the room and in the morning, they had pushed them together so they would be near each other. I tried to find the owner but nobody claimed him.
- I lost my rescue dog a few years ago and had my new dog to help me move forward. Now he has passed and I think I am going to take some time away from dogs. My new dog was amazing. Someone really trained him up because he knew every trick in the book, was an amazing frisbee catcher, and never left my side. He went everywhere with me and I loved the company. I hope I gave him a good life, he sure did make mine better.
Looking forward to reading other stories if you care to share. Just to give some hope to the new quitters. I dipped for over 20 years and have just under 3 months of quit, and I didn't think about the can during a most difficult yesterday. Good times ahead.
Aaronep, I'm prepping for my geriatric dog seemingly daily. I've never lost a dog because this was my first one. She just turned 13 and seems to be losing it daily. She can still climb the stairs to go upstairs, but she has slipped and fallen down the stairs twice in the last month. Her joints suck. She's lost half her teeth. She can't hardly see or hear anymore either. I'll be in the kitchen and she'll walk around the entire downstairs looking for me, even if I'm calling her. Her sniffer still works pretty well, though. If I'm cooking something meaty, she'll come straight to the kitchen.
I'm not sure the positives outweigh the negatives, and I have no idea the kind of stuff your dog left behind, but there are a few really heartless aspects of losing a dog that I try to get out of my head. Regardless, for my dog, at least, they remain. She throws up on the carpet upstairs at least once a week. She's freaking expensive. She barks at nothing sometimes now, almost like she's got dementia or something and gets pissed at her own fur.
But I love that damn mutt, and I'm going to miss everything, even the vomit. My condolences for you today.
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Day 100. 7:30AM
Just wanted to write the bookend entry for my first 100 days. I wanted to say thank you for all my brothers that engaged with me via replies to my posts. It kept me going during the difficult early days and kept me focused after the days added up.
Diesel always says that he was a big pussy in the beginning. I figured that I only needed to be a little less and I could be proud. Hearing his stories is the epitome of KTC. Brothers helping brothers.
For the new quitters, I suggest that you follow a fellow quitter from intro to HOF. Read everything they write, you will see how its done and find remarkable similarities with your situation. It made these people real for me when I needed proof that folks can actually make 100 days.
Proud to be at 100 today. Lots of power in not being alone.