KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: RaliPaul on February 02, 2014, 05:23:00 PM
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When I was raised in New Jersey, I wouldn't have even thought of being a tobacco user (future addict). I looked upon smokers with disgust and didn't really know anything about dip.
Sophomore year at Virginia Tech, my roommate used Grizzly Wintergreen. He was a closet dipper, would never use in public (something I've also come close to) If in public, not around people who knew me. I remember not liking it at all the first time but by the end of college, I would often smoke for a quick buzz and would dip to concentrate during studying. Maybe more often than that as I remember a friend letting me know that I would never be able to quit dip.
After college and living alone, I would dip while reading. Numerous times during a stint working in Dover DE, I would quit dip by smoking the occasional cigarette.
I have never really admitted to being a nicotine addict. My wonderful wife has dealt with me hiding my tobacco use. I've tried to quit so may times and have successfully vacationed from nicotine for one long period (around 2 years) and multiple short periods (4-8 months). Since I was this college student at 19, I've probably only used tobacco 50% of the time - hardly ever on weekends, mostly to and from work. The problem is that I'm now 40.5 and have failed at quitting twice recently when I thought I was fully committed. Once was last fall (2012) - I used a family vacation to Disneyland as a great launch to quit (lasted 3-4 months) and when I turned 40 this summer (lasted 3-4 months). I also tried to quit this past fall with the help of nicotine gum.
I previously read articles on KillTheCan including Jenny Tom's story and identified with so many of the struggles and confessions of fellow dippers quitters. I put up the nasty cancer pictures up for my home page - would quickly click away if I was using.
The time has come for me to quit because of the gigantic guilt and emotional struggles it causes. Plus I have to do bloodwork for medical insurance again - if nicotine shows, then I have to pay more. When I see fellow dippers and smokers on my construction jobsites, I look at them with a large amount of disgust while at the same time knowing that I'll quickly put a large wad in my mouth for the commute home.
Being a closet dipper, I always try to hide it from my wife. So chewing gum to help stop dip work some but I often chewed gum to hide the nasty stink. Also made sure that I had a toothbrush, paste, and water available before I arrived home. I had hiding places in my trucks for the nasty Grizzly to hide - would have to change them after I would tearfully admit to my wife that I was using again. One of the worst parts about dipping was that I would look forward to my Monday morning commute so I could dip again.
My phone won't let me copy all so posting roll has been difficult on the weekend. Should be better on work days on my laptop or maybe I'll finally use this tablet more.
I so much wanted to say to my 3 boys who are 10,9,7 that I quit before I turned 40. NOW I CAN SAY I QUIT WHEN 40 ON Jan 30th, 2014.
I am trying to do this without gaining weight and getting in shape for a ski trip I've got planned with my wife for the first week of March.
I'm really impressed with some of my fellow quitters in the May group - I have a tough time functioning, let alone posting solid statements and encouragements at roll call.
Written at the end of Day 4 - now I can leave for the Super Bowl party - I have so many bad (and good) memories of dip. I can't stand breaking my promises to my wife and myself. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN!!!
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When I was raised in New Jersey, I wouldn't have even thought of being a tobacco user (future addict). I looked upon smokers with disgust and didn't really know anything about dip.
Sophomore year at Virginia Tech, my roommate used Grizzly Wintergreen. He was a closet dipper, would never use in public (something I've also come close to) If in public, not around people who knew me. I remember not liking it at all the first time but by the end of college, I would often smoke for a quick buzz and would dip to concentrate during studying. Maybe more often than that as I remember a friend letting me know that I would never be able to quit dip.
After college and living alone, I would dip while reading. Numerous times during a stint working in Dover DE, I would quit dip by smoking the occasional cigarette.
I have never really admitted to being a nicotine addict. My wonderful wife has dealt with me hiding my tobacco use. I've tried to quit so may times and have successfully vacationed from nicotine for one long period (around 2 years) and multiple short periods (4-8 months). Since I was this college student at 19, I've probably only used tobacco 50% of the time - hardly ever on weekends, mostly to and from work. The problem is that I'm now 40.5 and have failed at quitting twice recently when I thought I was fully committed. Once was last fall (2012) - I used a family vacation to Disneyland as a great launch to quit (lasted 3-4 months) and when I turned 40 this summer (lasted 3-4 months). I also tried to quit this past fall with the help of nicotine gum.
I previously read articles on KillTheCan including Jenny Tom's story and identified with so many of the struggles and confessions of fellow dippers quitters. I put up the nasty cancer pictures up for my home page - would quickly click away if I was using.Â
The time has come for me to quit because of the gigantic guilt and emotional struggles it causes. Plus I have to do bloodwork for medical insurance again - if nicotine shows, then I have to pay more. When I see fellow dippers and smokers on my construction jobsites, I look at them with a large amount of disgust while at the same time knowing that I'll quickly put a large wad in my mouth for the commute home.
Being a closet dipper, I always try to hide it from my wife. So chewing gum to help stop dip work some but I often chewed gum to hide the nasty stink. Also made sure that I had a toothbrush, paste, and water available before I arrived home. I had hiding places in my trucks for the nasty Grizzly to hide - would have to change them after I would tearfully admit to my wife that I was using again. One of the worst parts about dipping was that I would look forward to my Monday morning commute so I could dip again.
My phone won't let me copy all so posting roll has been difficult on the weekend. Should be better on work days on my laptop or maybe I'll finally use this tablet more.
I so much wanted to say to my 3 boys who are 10,9,7 that I quit before I turned 40. NOW I CAN SAY I QUIT WHEN 40 ON Jan 30th, 2014.
I am trying to do this without gaining weight and getting in shape for a ski trip I've got planned with my wife for the first week of March.
I'm really impressed with some of my fellow quitters in the May group - I have a tough time functioning, let alone posting solid statements and encouragements at roll call.
Written at the end of Day 4 - now I can leave for the Super Bowl party - I have so many bad (and good) memories of dip. I can't stand breaking my promises to my wife and myself. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN!!!
First off, WELCOME TO KTC
Secondly, all that crap about stopping here and there, and 4-8 months here and nicotine gum to quit, and something about 50% of the time is all garbage, you are and addict, you have never quit before.
Thirdly, I hope that the insurance tobacco test isnt what brought you in here. I truly hope that you woke up on jan 30 and said to yourself "I want to quit, and im going to own this shit like no other" If you are quitting for any reason other than that you are deep down ready to quit, then failure is likely.
Lastly, If you are ready to quit than I will be 100% behind you brother. If you cant post on the weekends then you need to reach out to your may brothers and get some phone numbers, text them your promise to quit and they will post roll for you. but if you can select all with your phone and cut, then you can paste and post. Click on the dick head colored tab near the top left that says "WELCOME CENTER" read read read, figure out how to post roll and do so in may right now.
Quit on you quitter, post roll keep your promise and join the badasses of may!!
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When I was raised in New Jersey, I wouldn't have even thought of being a tobacco user (future addict). I looked upon smokers with disgust and didn't really know anything about dip.
Sophomore year at Virginia Tech, my roommate used Grizzly Wintergreen. He was a closet dipper, would never use in public (something I've also come close to) If in public, not around people who knew me. I remember not liking it at all the first time but by the end of college, I would often smoke for a quick buzz and would dip to concentrate during studying. Maybe more often than that as I remember a friend letting me know that I would never be able to quit dip.
After college and living alone, I would dip while reading. Numerous times during a stint working in Dover DE, I would quit dip by smoking the occasional cigarette.
I have never really admitted to being a nicotine addict. My wonderful wife has dealt with me hiding my tobacco use. I've tried to quit so may times and have successfully vacationed from nicotine for one long period (around 2 years) and multiple short periods (4-8 months). Since I was this college student at 19, I've probably only used tobacco 50% of the time - hardly ever on weekends, mostly to and from work. The problem is that I'm now 40.5 and have failed at quitting twice recently when I thought I was fully committed. Once was last fall (2012) - I used a family vacation to Disneyland as a great launch to quit (lasted 3-4 months) and when I turned 40 this summer (lasted 3-4 months). I also tried to quit this past fall with the help of nicotine gum.
I previously read articles on KillTheCan including Jenny Tom's story and identified with so many of the struggles and confessions of fellow dippers quitters. I put up the nasty cancer pictures up for my home page - would quickly click away if I was using.Â
The time has come for me to quit because of the gigantic guilt and emotional struggles it causes. Plus I have to do bloodwork for medical insurance again - if nicotine shows, then I have to pay more. When I see fellow dippers and smokers on my construction jobsites, I look at them with a large amount of disgust while at the same time knowing that I'll quickly put a large wad in my mouth for the commute home.
Being a closet dipper, I always try to hide it from my wife. So chewing gum to help stop dip work some but I often chewed gum to hide the nasty stink. Also made sure that I had a toothbrush, paste, and water available before I arrived home. I had hiding places in my trucks for the nasty Grizzly to hide - would have to change them after I would tearfully admit to my wife that I was using again. One of the worst parts about dipping was that I would look forward to my Monday morning commute so I could dip again.
My phone won't let me copy all so posting roll has been difficult on the weekend. Should be better on work days on my laptop or maybe I'll finally use this tablet more.
I so much wanted to say to my 3 boys who are 10,9,7 that I quit before I turned 40. NOW I CAN SAY I QUIT WHEN 40 ON Jan 30th, 2014.
I am trying to do this without gaining weight and getting in shape for a ski trip I've got planned with my wife for the first week of March.
I'm really impressed with some of my fellow quitters in the May group - I have a tough time functioning, let alone posting solid statements and encouragements at roll call.
Written at the end of Day 4 - now I can leave for the Super Bowl party - I have so many bad (and good) memories of dip. I can't stand breaking my promises to my wife and myself. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN!!!
First off, WELCOME TO KTC
Secondly, all that crap about stopping here and there, and 4-8 months here and nicotine gum to quit, and something about 50% of the time is all garbage, you are and addict, you have never quit before.
Thirdly, I hope that the insurance tobacco test isnt what brought you in here. I truly hope that you woke up on jan 30 and said to yourself "I want to quit, and im going to own this shit like no other" If you are quitting for any reason other than that you are deep down ready to quit, then failure is likely.
Lastly, If you are ready to quit than I will be 100% behind you brother. If you cant post on the weekends then you need to reach out to your may brothers and get some phone numbers, text them your promise to quit and they will post roll for you. but if you can select all with your phone and cut, then you can paste and post. Click on the dick head colored tab near the top left that says "WELCOME CENTER" read read read, figure out how to post roll and do so in may right now.
Quit on you quitter, post roll keep your promise and join the badasses of may!!
Winter green is spot on. If you want to quit then you will quit. The key to success is you taking 2 minutes a day to post roll, and then all you have to do is honor your word for that day. Wake up the next day and repeat. It's a simple recipe.
Save your own life brother, for yourself.
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Wintergreen has some serious words for you and we back him up. If you want it, it is yours to take. POst roll, get pissed, and make the decision you are done. Grizzclaws, Wintergreen and a hell of a lot more quitters will be here for you. It's your decision. We back your ass and kill the bitch..
Mogul
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I'm trying hard to be QUIT for good this time.
On day 5 and I'm hurting - sore teeth, neck ache, fuzziness, no motivation, lack of concentration - for sure!
I QUIT with you today.
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I'm trying hard to be QUIT for good this time.
On day 5 and I'm hurting - sore teeth, neck ache, fuzziness, no motivation, lack of concentration - for sure!
I QUIT with you today.
Rali, Rali, Rali, oh how I dont miss those first days. It was my 9th day that the fog lifted, the first 9 days sucked the big one. But you know what?? We did that shit to ourselves. Embrace the suck my friend and log how you feel here in your intro, because this is the last time your going to EVER go through this shit. You are kicking so much ass on day 5 man. And i mean like sea hawks vs the broncos type of ass kickin. Your winning. Stay strong and pm me if you need anything extra to help you through these lovely foggy, tired, headache, stiff body filled days. Most importantly, STAY QUIT
Winter Green
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My name is Paul. The Rali in front is an acronym that I'll explain sometime.
So I'm sitting here thinking where the closest 7-11 is and how nice it would be to then hide away into my truck and put in the poison named Grizzley! :wacko: Those thoughts still come even though that action would flood me with even more guilt than I now feel for not quiting before leaving college, before getting married, before 30, before my first son, second son, third son, before my 10 year anniversary, before turning 40, ....
But I don't want to go through this fog again!!! I don't want to be defeated again! I'll stay quit today. I'll also stay positive and embrace the suck!
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Paul, you got this..you made it through the weekend staring down triggers along the way. Read everything you can on this site and LISTEN to the old-timers. Everyone here has been where you are and almost everyone here is where you want to be. But, you can only quit for today, do it and we'll all do it with you! Post roll, no nic, read, repeat.
It may be hard, but it is simple!
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I'm trying hard to be QUIT for good this time.
On day 5 and I'm hurting - sore teeth, neck ache, fuzziness, no motivation, lack of concentration - for sure!
I QUIT with you today.
Rali, Rali, Rali, oh how I dont miss those first days. It was my 9th day that the fog lifted, the first 9 days sucked the big one. But you know what?? We did that shit to ourselves. Embrace the suck my friend and log how you feel here in your intro, because this is the last time your going to EVER go through this shit. You are kicking so much ass on day 5 man. And i mean like sea hawks vs the broncos type of ass kickin. Your winning. Stay strong and pm me if you need anything extra to help you through these lovely foggy, tired, headache, stiff body filled days. Most importantly, STAY QUIT
Winter Green
Rail, looks like your off to a good start, but let's change a few of your thoughts and set you on a path to a great quit!!
Don't try, just do!!! Sound hard yes, but it is simple, you chose to dip now you "chose" not too.
Don't think about things like forever, or "for good". Worry about today, tomorrow will be what it is, we only control today. If you post roll early tomorrow it will be a quit day too. Again not easy but simple.
You need anything you reach out.
Erussell day 280
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I'm trying hard to be QUIT for good this time.
On day 5 and I'm hurting - sore teeth, neck ache, fuzziness, no motivation, lack of concentration - for sure!
I QUIT with you today.
Rali, Rali, Rali, oh how I dont miss those first days. It was my 9th day that the fog lifted, the first 9 days sucked the big one. But you know what?? We did that shit to ourselves. Embrace the suck my friend and log how you feel here in your intro, because this is the last time your going to EVER go through this shit. You are kicking so much ass on day 5 man. And i mean like sea hawks vs the broncos type of ass kickin. Your winning. Stay strong and pm me if you need anything extra to help you through these lovely foggy, tired, headache, stiff body filled days. Most importantly, STAY QUIT
Winter Green
Rail, looks like your off to a good start, but let's change a few of your thoughts and set you on a path to a great quit!!
Don't try, just do!!! Sound hard yes, but it is simple, you chose to dip now you "chose" not too.
Don't think about things like forever, or "for good". Worry about today, tomorrow will be what it is, we only control today. If you post roll early tomorrow it will be a quit day too. Again not easy but simple.
You need anything you reach out.
Erussell day 280
Eddie already spewed the sage advice about doing not trying. So I will simply state that you are experiencing a great motivation to quit right now. It does get better, but remember these fucked up days as later in your quit you will start to realize that you don't want to experience that again.
Your brain has been rewired and it is trying to tell you that you are incapable of this without your crutch. The aches and pains will go away but for your sake I hope it is not fast or easy because you truly need to experience this SUCK too.
Trudge along, quit strong and surround yourself with quit. PM me is you need someone to talk to or an ear to bend.
P
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I'm trying hard to be QUIT for good this time.
On day 5 and I'm hurting - sore teeth, neck ache, fuzziness, no motivation, lack of concentration - for sure!
I QUIT with you today.
Rali, Rali, Rali, oh how I dont miss those first days. It was my 9th day that the fog lifted, the first 9 days sucked the big one. But you know what?? We did that shit to ourselves. Embrace the suck my friend and log how you feel here in your intro, because this is the last time your going to EVER go through this shit. You are kicking so much ass on day 5 man. And i mean like sea hawks vs the broncos type of ass kickin. Your winning. Stay strong and pm me if you need anything extra to help you through these lovely foggy, tired, headache, stiff body filled days. Most importantly, STAY QUIT
Winter Green
Rail, looks like your off to a good start, but let's change a few of your thoughts and set you on a path to a great quit!!
Don't try, just do!!! Sound hard yes, but it is simple, you chose to dip now you "chose" not too.
Don't think about things like forever, or "for good". Worry about today, tomorrow will be what it is, we only control today. If you post roll early tomorrow it will be a quit day too. Again not easy but simple.
You need anything you reach out.
Erussell day 280
Eddie already spewed the sage advice about doing not trying. So I will simply state that you are experiencing a great motivation to quit right now. It does get better, but remember these fucked up days as later in your quit you will start to realize that you don't want to experience that again.
Your brain has been rewired and it is trying to tell you that you are incapable of this without your crutch. The aches and pains will go away but for your sake I hope it is not fast or easy because you truly need to experience this SUCK too.
Trudge along, quit strong and surround yourself with quit. PM me is you need someone to talk to or an ear to bend.
P
Paul, the fact that you have posted on your introduction for a second day is very encouraging! That signals that you are committed. What worked for me was coming here, posting roll, post my thoughts about how shitty I felt and then reading on some other intro's. As your day progresses and you have craves, come to the site and read!
It really worked for me and I hope it will for you. Don't buy that can because I'm quitting with you today!
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Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :( This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco". I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :( This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco". I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Your doing the right things. It's going to improve in time, believe it. The emotional rollercoaster that takes place is rough. I remember thinking, how long must i endure.
The answer,, as long as it takes. You make your decision every morning to post roll and keep your word no matter what the day brings. Your reward for the time being is your dignity and freedom.
After time the new you will begin emerging. Trusty me, you want to meet this guy. He is sure of himself, healthier and feels good about what he has accomplished. This guy has learned that he can accomplish way more than he ever thought he could when the poison was in control. Keep your head pointed forward, nothing back there.
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Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :( This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco". I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :( This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco". I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
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Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
One day at a time...at the most. ODAAT/ATM
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
You guys are both doing great! Hang tough right now as your brain is healing and rewiring, it will take some time. Many of us fought through the fog for a good 30 days. The thing to remember right now is that the battle is now 100% mental, you have rid your body of nicotine but you now are left with learning how to function without the crutch we all had for so many years. The nic bitch will claw and lie to try and just "one more" fix. Stay close to KTC and your contacts, better days are ahead I promise!
I quit with you today!
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
Rali -- I think it's safe to assume that we'd much rather have a temporarily embittered brother in Mayhem that grinds through the technological hassles required of KTC, than a guy who pounds his chest proclaiming victory on day 1 and is never heard from again. Like it or not, you've invested time and shared personal info with us, and we with you. Not gonna let you suffer in solitude when you've made this much progress. Stay strong, quit on.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
Rali -- I think it's safe to assume that we'd much rather have a temporarily embittered brother in Mayhem that grinds through the technological hassles required of KTC, than a guy who pounds his chest proclaiming victory on day 1 and is never heard from again. Like it or not, you've invested time and shared personal info with us, and we with you. Not gonna let you suffer in solitude when you've made this much progress. Stay strong, quit on.
I appreciate it Krusty, and I'm definately in this for the long term. I'm Quiting hard.
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
Rali -- I think it's safe to assume that we'd much rather have a temporarily embittered brother in Mayhem that grinds through the technological hassles required of KTC, than a guy who pounds his chest proclaiming victory on day 1 and is never heard from again. Like it or not, you've invested time and shared personal info with us, and we with you. Not gonna let you suffer in solitude when you've made this much progress. Stay strong, quit on.
I appreciate it Krusty, and I'm definately in this for the long term. I'm Quiting hard.
Being here for the long term is good but never forget you are an addict. The addicted mind will trick you into thinking you can't do this forever. Sometime you will think, "Somewhere, someday, I will be too weak to beat this."
KTC teaches you how to trick your mind back.
Fact: Nicotine is a poison and not intended for our body. Our body never needed it and should never crave it. You can live without it.
The trick - You never quit long term. Only today. Yesterday is over and cannot be changed. Tomorrow, you don't know what lies ahead. But Today: You can make a promise to not use for 24hrs.
If you win today, and wake to another "Today" you post roll and keep your word.
Never think you are quit forever. Just worry about Today's quit.
-
You are getting some great advice and people are rallying behind you here. Hang in there, you have to beat the poison's grip on your brain- but for today only. Worry about tomorrow then. Get through today. Each quit is unique, but others have gone through what you are going through. Read the intro threads of other quitters, further along than you, and you'll see many similarities. Keep logging your quit here like you are doing- that will give you a written record of the suck so you can be reminded why you don't want to go back to addiction. And it will let others know when you need support.
I found that it helped me to learn all I could about the addiction, in addition to learning about how others' quits went. A page that has some good info, in addition to the Welcome Center here, is at Nicotine Addiction 101 (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html)
Finally, nice job building and using your network of quit bros to help you out. That will carry you a long ways, as you have started to discover already.
Keep quitting strong, and I'll be glad to quit with you!
-
Quick up date at Day 19 :
Last two weeks have been torturous - trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of worthlessness...wondering (once again) if tobacco withdraw can really screw with my brain so much that I can barely function at all. I have a history of short periods of depression (4-6 weeks) that have been triggered by either guilt of hiding my tobacco use (lying to my wife), withdraw symptoms from stopping dip/tobacco use, or maybe some other mental illness that I don't like to admit as a possibility. So I get so low that I have trouble taking steps that I know are healthy for me - eating correctly, exercising, expressing my emotions to friends. :(  This time it hasn't helped that I got placed on a new project at work that really tests my patience and skillsets (especially in my funk).
But good news, I'm committed to my QUIT and I am starting to feel better. This makes me excited that I'm coming out of my haze but it is also scary. I have very quickly, in the past, felt that I've gotten tobacco whipped once I get feeling back to "normal" and have then let my guard down and started again within 6 months. Then each next "final quit" defeats me as a person even more. Both during the quitting, and of course, about 1 month in to reusing when the guilt starts again.
By the way, I can't stand KTC - posting each day, texting, blogging, or even reading KTC stuff online (any technology outside of work pisses me off - rather be doing other stuff). But, you know what, what I can't stand even more is that I can't quit on my own and I've always failed to go to Celebrate Recovery or another addiction recovering group because it's "only tobacco".  I've tried plenty of my own ways to quit and have failed - with all you solid quitters at KTC - I'm STAYING QUIT one day at a time forever.
Thanks to my May brothers in my texting group for putting up with my inability to continue group texts (have to sent individually for some reason - anyone know how to continue a group text with an HTC sensation 4G) and others at KTC who have reached out to me and taken my phone calls. Thanks to many others who have posted so many good articles that I've read here. Many of you have gone through same struggles that I have through my 20 some years of ninja dipping...like being bummed that the public toilet you chose to sit on and dip into was not oversized, therefore, brown juice on your wiener.
Stay strong. We've all been there, in the suck, hating life and just wishing it would all go away. Stay with us here on the KTC. Not only are you healthier, you're wealthier, and you'll find in the end you will gain more patience and resilience. The addiction is forever, but that doesnt mean you have to suffer forever, you're winning. keep it that way.
Keep fighting today. I was luggage at work for about 30 days. I was totally focused on quitting. Keep your quit at the top of your "to do" list. Let nothing interfere with it.
You can do this. In time it will get better, but for now... embrace the suck stay quit!
Fuck the job. Who cares if your work suffers for a few months. Everything else is bullshit. This is your life Rali. You are reclaiming it. You're here and this IS your FINAL quit. Keep the focus and keep the quit.
This is what I've had to come to grips with. I just can't focus, I've got to focus on my quit. The moment I start letting my intensity on quitting slip, the quicker I'll be at the convenience store across the street from my office buying another can. I've got to let my years of good work ethic pay off for a little while now. This is for me, the roads will get designed a little slower.
Rali -- I think it's safe to assume that we'd much rather have a temporarily embittered brother in Mayhem that grinds through the technological hassles required of KTC, than a guy who pounds his chest proclaiming victory on day 1 and is never heard from again. Like it or not, you've invested time and shared personal info with us, and we with you. Not gonna let you suffer in solitude when you've made this much progress. Stay strong, quit on.
I appreciate it Krusty, and I'm definately in this for the long term. I'm Quiting hard.
Being here for the long term is good but never forget you are an addict. The addicted mind will trick you into thinking you can't do this forever. Sometime you will think, "Somewhere, someday, I will be too weak to beat this."
KTC teaches you how to trick your mind back.
Fact: Nicotine is a poison and not intended for our body. Our body never needed it and should never crave it. You can live without it.
The trick - You never quit long term. Only today. Yesterday is over and cannot be changed. Tomorrow, you don't know what lies ahead. But Today: You can make a promise to not use for 24hrs.
If you win today, and wake to another "Today" you post roll and keep your word.
Never think you are quit forever. Just worry about Today's quit.
Wow, great Intro page! Keep going, man, it gets easier and exponentially better. What can you do to strengthen your quit today? Add a layer of accountability to your quit by telling someone new about KTC, what day you're on, what the HOF is, etc. Is the Contract to Cave in your wallet? It's in mine.
I give up my quit. Quitting is impossible and I cannot do it. I love dipping more than I love myself. I care about dipping more than I care about my personal health. I love dipping more than I love my family. I know this addiction will kill me, and I ACCEPT that fact. I enjoy spending time alone with my can more than I enjoy spending time with anyone else on the planet. I look forward to losing my jaw, my tongue, my throat, my life – it’s worth it. When I am lying in my hospital bed fighting a losing battle against cancer I will feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that this is the path I CHOSE. My only regret will be that I didn’t start dipping earlier in life. I will feel sorrow for my family’s heartbreak and suffer untold pain, but I know you must sacrifice for the things you truly love.
I know ALL the consequences of my actions and I accept them fully and without regret. I hereby choose to give my life to this addiction – I do so with a smile on face.
Signature: ____________________
Date: ____________________
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral. I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times. I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral. I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times. I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
Hopefully he takes your cue.
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral. I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.Â
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times. I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
Hopefully he takes your cue.
You're a good man and friend. The fog will lift, you're stronger than your addiction.
Your energy will come back, I'm only a week ahead of you and feel great. Proud to be in May with you!
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral. I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.Â
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times. I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
Great job on your quit paul. One question? When are you going to feel your 100% free? I would say 22 days of solid quit put you 100% free. If there is a magical number your after what is it? How about today brother.
START believing in yourself. 22 days brother. No reason you can't make it tomorrow. Glad to be quit with you.
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral.  I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.Â
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times.  I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
Great job on your quit paul. One question? When are you going to feel your 100% free? I would say 22 days of solid quit put you 100% free. If there is a magical number your after what is it? How about today brother.
START believing in yourself. 22 days brother. No reason you can't make it tomorrow. Glad to be quit with you.
Good post brother. You'll start feeling better soon. Think how hard it'd be to do that build out with a feeding tube in your nose and a tongue replaced with part of your calf muscle, all while being given 10% chance of living longer than the next 16 months. You simply have no alternative other than to suffer through this shit. I swear it will get better.
You got this shit. I quit with you.
I need I buy you lunch too, because I need to know who is taking over those floors in Tyson's tower.
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So a friend of mine from church work asked me how I was doing by email when I asked him to help set up chairs for a funeral.  I'm working late alone (freakin perfect time for a dip THAT I CAN'T HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!) This was my reply - So I'm dishing out the KTC coolaide. He would have never imagined that I dipped and he didn't know I noticed him with a dip or two in.Â
"I’m not exactly doing well. Construction Superintendent – why did I chose this path? I’m at Tysons Tower – High end, high tech 7 story (14th-20th floors) tenant fit out. Base building is not complete yet – only one freight elevator, 2 other building going up around us. Client xxxxxx (Dominion has Mech contract – they are insulating their own plumbing thus far, not sure about Mech pipe and ductwork) Working with a Sr. Super who is great – been at xxxxx since 1990…but the thing is he is still working his butt off and told me this is his toughest project. I’m coming in late and feel way behind the 8 ball after just 1.5 wks here. Once of these days my adrenaline will kick in an I’ll start my driven Superintendent mode… It doesn’t help that I am on day 22 of quitting dip. Not sure how many times you’ve tried to quit but this is about my 10th solid attempt. Been using since soph year of college – probably used less than a can per week for about half of my last 20 years (2 years on…2 months off…6 mo on…3 years off…2 years on… off/on/off/on – you get the picture). This last AND FINAL quit of mine is with the help of http://www.killthecan.org/ (http://www.killthecan.org/) - online accountability group. I’ve noticed you dipping a couple times.  I can remember putting together my first son’s crib promising myself that I would quit for my health and to stop lying to my wife – never wanted my child to see me dip. So about 4 weeks ago, I really pushed it and dipped on the same chairlift as my son (10yrs old) – it was dark (nightskiing) and my mouth could be covered by my turtleneck – but pretty poor huh? But I’m excited about my Quit – looking forward to feeling 100% free. D o you still dip? If yes…you’re a weak idiot (but you already know that)….Just like me for the last many years.
Great job on your quit paul. One question? When are you going to feel your 100% free? I would say 22 days of solid quit put you 100% free. If there is a magical number your after what is it? How about today brother.
START believing in yourself. 22 days brother. No reason you can't make it tomorrow. Glad to be quit with you.
Good post brother. You'll start feeling better soon. Think how hard it'd be to do that build out with a feeding tube in your nose and a tongue replaced with part of your calf muscle, all while being given 10% chance of living longer than the next 16 months. You simply have no alternative other than to suffer through this shit. I swear it will get better.
You got this shit. I quit with you.
I need I buy you lunch too, because I need to know who is taking over those floors in Tyson's tower.
You're kickin' ass and I love the updates on your Intro. You are 22 days in and that is GREAT. It's time to eliminate words like "attempt" from your vocabulary.
Attempt: an act of trying to achieve something, typically one that is unsuccessful or not certain to succeed.
There is only one thing that can lead to you putting a dip in your lip today: you choosing to do so.
Proud to be quit with you!
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip.
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip.
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
I agree with rdad. It's not stupid to tell your loved ones that you've been stupid. It's a gesture of trust and respect that they will appreciate always.
I tried to hide dipping from my kids for years. What I found out when I "confessed" was that they already knew, and never said anything.
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Another ninja here that was almost caught a few times by my son. He however never sees his dad without a fatty. Kind of a shitty place for him to be. His father always dips and he doesn't know that I did at all. I have always told him to never ever even try that crap, but whoa...what a hypocrite I will be. What does more damage? Telling him or keeping it from him? Is it the damage to what he thinks of me that I am afraid of? Is that part of "healing" and staying quit? Do I have to go through that stage as well and live that "suck"? Damn nicotine messes everything up. As for now, I am not telling him. I don't know if that is right. Time will tell as I figure it out.
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
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Good job on you quit Ralipaul. I also wasn't sure if I should tell my daughter. However, I decided to tell her and when I did, she told me she already knew. She told me she was very happy that I was quitting. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Quit on.
mb289
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It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
Rali - Noting that I'm obviously no veteran but just a guy that has vowed to get the back of a handful of quality, fellow quitters in Mayhem (like you), I couldn't agree more with derk40's perspective. I'm virtually identical to him (and, presumably, a lot of others on KTC) in terms of having a father who smoked well into my formative years before quitting -- as well as being the kid who said he'd never take up that "habit", only to become haplessly addicted to one just as lethal and even more powerful. I've got a son, and, while he's still pretty young, I'm already having the conversation in my head that I think will ultimately be had with him.
I'm sure there are plenty that will disagree, but I put a fair amount of stock in the notion that there's a hereditary tendency to addictive behaviors. Acknowledging that nicotine is an addictive chemical if anyone sticks with it long enough, it becomes a pretty damning indictment when someone who needs some element of routine starts incorporating the chemical into their life, even if it just starts off as a fun, sneaky thing to do with friends.
My own view is that I owe it to my kid(s) to give them the most complete picture on a topic that can kill them. Personally being able to (eventually) tell my son about several generations of nicotine addiction would hopefully resonate more than a health teacher droning on about the dangers of all forms of chemical addictions. Again, just one guy's view, but refreshing to know there's a lot of other admirable people thinking about the same thing.
-
I passed my nicotine test at work this past week,
Feels good don't it. My job went tobacco free about two, three years ago. Didn't stop me either. I just hid it and went about my business. I didn't realize how good it would feel not to hide this addiction anymore. Now I watch others with the same a problem and appreciate my freedom. I don't mind saying that being quit puts tears in my eyes sometimes. Quit with you today.
-
It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
Rali - Noting that I'm obviously no veteran but just a guy that has vowed to get the back of a handful of quality, fellow quitters in Mayhem (like you), I couldn't agree more with derk40's perspective. I'm virtually identical to him (and, presumably, a lot of others on KTC) in terms of having a father who smoked well into my formative years before quitting -- as well as being the kid who said he'd never take up that "habit", only to become haplessly addicted to one just as lethal and even more powerful. I've got a son, and, while he's still pretty young, I'm already having the conversation in my head that I think will ultimately be had with him.
I'm sure there are plenty that will disagree, but I put a fair amount of stock in the notion that there's a hereditary tendency to addictive behaviors. Acknowledging that nicotine is an addictive chemical if anyone sticks with it long enough, it becomes a pretty damning indictment when someone who needs some element of routine starts incorporating the chemical into their life, even if it just starts off as a fun, sneaky thing to do with friends.
My own view is that I owe it to my kid(s) to give them the most complete picture on a topic that can kill them. Personally being able to (eventually) tell my son about several generations of nicotine addiction would hopefully resonate more than a health teacher droning on about the dangers of all forms of chemical addictions. Again, just one guy's view, but refreshing to know there's a lot of other admirable people thinking about the same thing.
Rali - I don't have any kids. Read my intro, my grandfather got me started on the shit. My Dad never chewed to my knowledge. He also never talked to me about nicotine addiction. Even when he saw me take a swig of coke and spit it out to be like Pa Pa. I can't say that I never would have started if my Dad talked to me about nicotine...but I might not. If it keeps one of your boys from starting, do it. You will feel responsible if they ever start and you did nothing to help...
-
It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
Rali - Noting that I'm obviously no veteran but just a guy that has vowed to get the back of a handful of quality, fellow quitters in Mayhem (like you), I couldn't agree more with derk40's perspective. I'm virtually identical to him (and, presumably, a lot of others on KTC) in terms of having a father who smoked well into my formative years before quitting -- as well as being the kid who said he'd never take up that "habit", only to become haplessly addicted to one just as lethal and even more powerful. I've got a son, and, while he's still pretty young, I'm already having the conversation in my head that I think will ultimately be had with him.
I'm sure there are plenty that will disagree, but I put a fair amount of stock in the notion that there's a hereditary tendency to addictive behaviors. Acknowledging that nicotine is an addictive chemical if anyone sticks with it long enough, it becomes a pretty damning indictment when someone who needs some element of routine starts incorporating the chemical into their life, even if it just starts off as a fun, sneaky thing to do with friends.
My own view is that I owe it to my kid(s) to give them the most complete picture on a topic that can kill them. Personally being able to (eventually) tell my son about several generations of nicotine addiction would hopefully resonate more than a health teacher droning on about the dangers of all forms of chemical addictions. Again, just one guy's view, but refreshing to know there's a lot of other admirable people thinking about the same thing.
Rali - I don't have any kids. Read my intro, my grandfather got me started on the shit. My Dad never chewed to my knowledge. He also never talked to me about nicotine addiction. Even when he saw me take a swig of coke and spit it out to be like Pa Pa. I can't say that I never would have started if my Dad talked to me about nicotine...but I might not. If it keeps one of your boys from starting, do it. You will feel responsible if they ever start and you did nothing to help...
You'll know when the time is right to talk to your kids. Just focus on quitting for now.
The fog, lack of concentration and ambition is still pretty normal at this point. You'll break out of it, just keep plugging away. The positive thoughts will come back.
Constipation....water water and more water. Seems like your body would have figured it out by now, but it hasn't....it's still adjusting.
I don't know how long you dipped, but you can't fix many years of stupid in 45 days. Just keep plugging away and you will be amazed at the freedom you will find.
-
It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
Rali - Noting that I'm obviously no veteran but just a guy that has vowed to get the back of a handful of quality, fellow quitters in Mayhem (like you), I couldn't agree more with derk40's perspective. I'm virtually identical to him (and, presumably, a lot of others on KTC) in terms of having a father who smoked well into my formative years before quitting -- as well as being the kid who said he'd never take up that "habit", only to become haplessly addicted to one just as lethal and even more powerful. I've got a son, and, while he's still pretty young, I'm already having the conversation in my head that I think will ultimately be had with him.
I'm sure there are plenty that will disagree, but I put a fair amount of stock in the notion that there's a hereditary tendency to addictive behaviors. Acknowledging that nicotine is an addictive chemical if anyone sticks with it long enough, it becomes a pretty damning indictment when someone who needs some element of routine starts incorporating the chemical into their life, even if it just starts off as a fun, sneaky thing to do with friends.
My own view is that I owe it to my kid(s) to give them the most complete picture on a topic that can kill them. Personally being able to (eventually) tell my son about several generations of nicotine addiction would hopefully resonate more than a health teacher droning on about the dangers of all forms of chemical addictions. Again, just one guy's view, but refreshing to know there's a lot of other admirable people thinking about the same thing.
Rali - I don't have any kids. Read my intro, my grandfather got me started on the shit. My Dad never chewed to my knowledge. He also never talked to me about nicotine addiction. Even when he saw me take a swig of coke and spit it out to be like Pa Pa. I can't say that I never would have started if my Dad talked to me about nicotine...but I might not. If it keeps one of your boys from starting, do it. You will feel responsible if they ever start and you did nothing to help...
You'll know when the time is right to talk to your kids. Just focus on quitting for now.
The fog, lack of concentration and ambition is still pretty normal at this point. You'll break out of it, just keep plugging away. The positive thoughts will come back.
Constipation....water water and more water. Seems like your body would have figured it out by now, but it hasn't....it's still adjusting.
I don't know how long you dipped, but you can't fix many years of stupid in 45 days. Just keep plugging away and you will be amazed at the freedom you will find.
I don't think that telling your kids should make you feel stupid. Everyone here fell victim to the NB. It's not stupidity. It was weakness and then dependence.
You made the SMART decision to quit and you're a stronger person because of it. Focus on that!
-
Hey Paul,
Check out my intro. I told my son about my quit. I think it was important.
PM me if you want to talk bout it.
Quit with you.
Doc
-
It's March 15th - day 45. I want to get some thoughts down :
- I passed my nicotine test at work this past week, two years previous I would quit for the test and then resume using. Glad that I haven't used this as a reason to use this year. Staying QUIT.
- Still quite fuzzy at not functioning normally. My motivation is still severely lacking. Not to many positive thoughts.
- Still quite constipated - even wondering if I gave myself a hernia from pushing so hard.
- I had a great vacation with my wife last week but I'm now 6 days back to work and not very much liking it. The one good thing is that I see some other "idiots" still using dip. I should get back on task now.
- Very much debating if I tell my boys at my Hall of Fame date that I used tobacco and hid it from them for many years. I came so close to getting caught by them - like around 65 days ago when I was dipping next to my 10yr old son on the chairlift while skiing. It was night and cold so the dark and my neck gaiter helped me hide it. I also remember this same son saying "I want a mint" after my can of crap was open on the way to a football game. Two boys in the back seat at that time. I passed them gum instead. I'm having a tough time debating between teaching them (boys 10,9,7) that tobacco is evil versus admitting that their Dad was so stupid for so long.Â
Former Ninja dippers - give me some advice about telling others (loved ones) that you used to dip. Â
Thanks for everyone posing on their introduction pages - it helps to hear others stories.
I'm struggling with virtually this same exact issue, regarding talking to your kids about tobacco. Mine are 11,6,5. So I'm looking forward to responses on this Rali, because I was a ninja dipper too
I'm so glad you guys are quitting while your kids are little. My son, who turns 22 today NEVER saw me without a dip in. Thank God he never wanted to be like me in that regard. I lucked out with him. Good for you guys that aren't leaving it to total chance like I did. I say come clean with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them. It might mean more and hit a little harder coming first hand from their Dads.
Nice 45 days Ralipaul! Keep at it today.
Pretty interesting conversation... I know my dad smoked all his life and I vowed I would not be like him. I never smoked so I did not go there, but I dipped for 25 years and ended up exactly like him. Same poison... different delivery method.
I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids. Figure out when and how to do it, but it is they same as telling them to look both ways before crossing the street. In the end it will be their decision on what they do, but you need to plant the seed to steer them the right way.
Rali - Noting that I'm obviously no veteran but just a guy that has vowed to get the back of a handful of quality, fellow quitters in Mayhem (like you), I couldn't agree more with derk40's perspective. I'm virtually identical to him (and, presumably, a lot of others on KTC) in terms of having a father who smoked well into my formative years before quitting -- as well as being the kid who said he'd never take up that "habit", only to become haplessly addicted to one just as lethal and even more powerful. I've got a son, and, while he's still pretty young, I'm already having the conversation in my head that I think will ultimately be had with him.
I'm sure there are plenty that will disagree, but I put a fair amount of stock in the notion that there's a hereditary tendency to addictive behaviors. Acknowledging that nicotine is an addictive chemical if anyone sticks with it long enough, it becomes a pretty damning indictment when someone who needs some element of routine starts incorporating the chemical into their life, even if it just starts off as a fun, sneaky thing to do with friends.
My own view is that I owe it to my kid(s) to give them the most complete picture on a topic that can kill them. Personally being able to (eventually) tell my son about several generations of nicotine addiction would hopefully resonate more than a health teacher droning on about the dangers of all forms of chemical addictions. Again, just one guy's view, but refreshing to know there's a lot of other admirable people thinking about the same thing.
Rali - I don't have any kids. Read my intro, my grandfather got me started on the shit. My Dad never chewed to my knowledge. He also never talked to me about nicotine addiction. Even when he saw me take a swig of coke and spit it out to be like Pa Pa. I can't say that I never would have started if my Dad talked to me about nicotine...but I might not. If it keeps one of your boys from starting, do it. You will feel responsible if they ever start and you did nothing to help...
You'll know when the time is right to talk to your kids. Just focus on quitting for now.
The fog, lack of concentration and ambition is still pretty normal at this point. You'll break out of it, just keep plugging away. The positive thoughts will come back.
Constipation....water water and more water. Seems like your body would have figured it out by now, but it hasn't....it's still adjusting.
I don't know how long you dipped, but you can't fix many years of stupid in 45 days. Just keep plugging away and you will be amazed at the freedom you will find.
I don't think that telling your kids should make you feel stupid. Everyone here fell victim to the NB. It's not stupidity. It was weakness and then dependence.
You made the SMART decision to quit and you're a stronger person because of it. Focus on that!
Hey Paul,
Did you ever end up telling them? I don't think there's a clear answer, but for what it's worth, I think that telling them about your addiction will do two things: 1) burn the hell out of anything that remains of the bridge back to addiction. Telling your kids that you're QUIT for life is powerful. 2) It might keep them from ever trying the poison. They ARE going to see it around their peers, and soon. You'll have a lot more credibility with them if they know that you struggled. After all, they're getting awfully close to the age of "knowing everything", if they aren't already there.
-
100!!! Congrats!!!
-
100!!! Congrats!!!
Right on, Rali! Congrats!
-
100!!! Congrats!!!
Right on, Rali! Congrats!
Big rally to 2-hundy coming up from May '14's Rali... Congrats keep it up, bro!
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Congrats on 100 and thanks to all the vets for supporting new quitters.