KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: MikeCO on March 23, 2009, 12:15:00 PM
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Gentlemen and perhaps Ladies,
My name is Mike, I'm 41 years old, I live in Colorado and have been on the Copenhagen snuff train for 26 years. As much as a can a day early on, but for the past 10 or so years it's more like a can every two or three days. I don't believe in the past 26 years that I've gone a full 24 hours without having a dip in at some point. Like so many others, I've lied and cheated to myself and others in the name of the tin-bitch. This is a terrible track record.
Since January 01 of this year, I've really backed off my dipping and have been using a can or two per week in concert with nic-gum....so the nic amount is not changed I'm sure and I'm not doing myself any good thinking "I'm getting somewhere". Did I mention I'm a dumbass?
Last night I found you guys while surfing the internet with a dip in. I read a bunch. I stood up, got pissed off and told my wife "this is fucking it!" I grabbed the new can I bought yesterday and dumped it down the toilet at 8:30pm. I slept well last night (surely to be a rarity in short order).
Though I refuse to use tobacco today, I can't say I'm quit right now since I already had a piece of nic gum today. I will save my official quit until tommorrow (when I WILL NOT use the nic gum as a crutch) when the July 2009 group starts and I will introduce myself to them.
When I joined the site this morning, I thought useage of nic gum would be accepted by the community as an alternative, but I see that it is not. AND I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY. It's the wussy way out.
Fuck, this is going to be tough.
Mike
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Fuck, this is going to be tough.
Mike
Yep. All good things in life are.
Sounds like you're ready. Sounds like you've made a great decision. Now it's just a matter of putting your name on the line tomorrow and doing it... hope to see you then.
I won't wish you luck cause quitting has nothing to do with luck. You can do this. Just a matter of making that decision.
See you tomorrow.
Just a suggestion... quit today! If you do, by tomorrow you'll have doubled your quit days!
chewie
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Mike, congrats on the best decision of your life. It will be hard but WORTH it. Get rid of all dip and All NIC gum and go cold turkey. That way you get it over with in the least amount of time. You CAN do this. This site will save you life. Hang on and Enjoy the suck! Get active in your quit group. A new July HOF group starts tomorrow. PM if I can help.
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Gentlemen and perhaps Ladies,
My name is Mike, I'm 41 years old, I live in Colorado and have been on the Copenhagen snuff train for 26 years. As much as a can a day early on, but for the past 10 or so years it's more like a can every two or three days. I don't believe in the past 26 years that I've gone a full 24 hours without having a dip in at some point. Like so many others, I've lied and cheated to myself and others in the name of the tin-bitch. This is a terrible track record.
Since January 01 of this year, I've really backed off my dipping and have been using a can or two per week in concert with nic-gum....so the nic amount is not changed I'm sure and I'm not doing myself any good thinking "I'm getting somewhere". Did I mention I'm a dumbass?
Last night I found you guys while surfing the internet with a dip in. I read a bunch. I stood up, got pissed off and told my wife "this is fucking it!" I grabbed the new can I bought yesterday and dumped it down the toilet at 8:30pm. I slept well last night (surely to be a rarity in short order).
Though I refuse to use tobacco today, I can't say I'm quit right now since I already had a piece of nic gum today. I will save my official quit until tommorrow (when I WILL NOT use the nic gum as a crutch) when the July 2009 group starts and I will introduce myself to them.
When I joined the site this morning, I thought useage of nic gum would be accepted by the community as an alternative, but I see that it is not. AND I FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY. It's the wussy way out.
Fuck, this is going to be tough.
Mike
Sounds like we're fishin in the same pond bro......i'm 43, dipped cope for 29 years......and yeah, finally got pissed.
I posted roll for day 446 today....and i'm pretty proud of that. couldn't have done it without this place, the accountability to some of the best friends i've never met, support and brotherhood.....
Belly up, drink the kool-aid, post roll, get involved, keep your word and let's get this shit done......
it's time.
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Yeah Mike it is going to be tough!! Real tough...but it is worth it. Post roll...use your buddies...I would start today and get in to June if you still can so that you are in an established group that will help keep you accountable.
Most important...make that decision everyday...that today I am not going to dip snuff. I dipped at least 1 can a day (1 1/2) by the time I quit) everyday for 33 years. I have not dipped Cope now for 35 days.
Get in and get started...email or PM me anytime for help.
Be strong and quit
Brian
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Mike,
Welcome bro, you've made a wise choice. I commend you for having the courage to stand up to that tin and then just flushing the contents. Tough, yes, but also very rewarding because you're about to embark on a journey that will test the very fiber of your being and you are the ultimate winner in the end.
The nic bitch is going to test your will, she'll play tricks on you, tease you, she doesn't play fair at all. However, you've got an ace in the hole...this site and all of us. We're here for you, we'll help you with whatever it is you need. It's one hell of a support system here, it works.
Fuck, this is going to be tough.
Yes, it is going to be tough, however, the rewards are even better my friend. You get your life back and you're not a slave to the nicotine any longer.
Welcome aboard.
Stay Strong-Stay Quit!
MF
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Thank you guys for the kind words of encouragement.
I just threw the gum out here at work and the journey begins......screw it, procrastinating is for sucks.
Mike
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Thank you guys for the kind words of encouragement.
I just threw the gum out here at work and the journey begins......screw it, procrastinating is for sucks.
Mike
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
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Just starting the fog here on my day #2. After reading about this thing from a few other posters yesterday and the night before, I now understand why some people may give you strange looks when you're standing there staring into space.
I just caught my dumbass doing it whilw sitting on the toilet, looked up and see that my eyes are freaking HUGE....huge whites, looks goofy as all hell! LOL.
Mike
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Mike,
Kinda funny how that shit works huh? One minute you're normal, next minute, it's like you just took a little vacation or something. I still get foggy from time to time, it does get better though. It does make for some good stories.
Stay Strong-Stay quit!
MF
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Oh man, that's exactly how I feel. I go from being wired to being in another dimension. It's so damn hard to concentrate on anything. I just stared at a yellow highlight marker like it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Then I forgot what the hell I was gonna use it for.
Hang in there MikeCO. I'm on day 2 also. We're gonna get through this bullshit this time.
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Right on guys! Brad, yep I think we both have a good feeling about it this time! Hang in there man.......
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It took all of my concentration just to do the minimal things the first two days. Today, I'm finally seeing a few breaks in the fog. More fog than not, but certainly welcome breaks where I feel like I can relax my brain for a moment or two, or relax the scowl on my face so everybody stops asking me if something is wrong.
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Keep it up guys!!!! You are doing great!!!! However, remember how every moment of this first week feels, burn it into your brain, so that when a bad craves comes later own, you can think back on how bad the first week felt and tell the bitch to Fuck Off!!!!!
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I just married a bowl of clam chowder.
My wife's really gonna be really ticked off.
Eating seems to be the one enjoyable thing right now.
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Here's an article from KillTheCan.org that talks about the "fog": http://www.killthecan.org/facts/thefog.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/thefog.asp)
Thought it may be appropriate.
chewie
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I love to freaking sleep now!....can't get enough of it lately since my quit started.
For 26 years I found myself staying up all hours of the night to dip that one last dip before retiring to sleep.....now I find myself gravitating to the bedroom around 8:30pm and nodding off around 10:00pm (at the latest if I watch some toob).
8 to 9 full hours of sleep each night feels spectacular!!!!!!
Mike
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Funny how that shit works, found myself doing the same thing. I'll take a few z's over a fatty anytime. What the hell were we thinking for all those years?
Another plus is the fact that the taste buds seem to be coming back, food is starting to taste better each day. Teeth seem to be a shade or two brighter as well.
A whole lot of positives associated with quitting, funny, I don't remember a lot of positives when I was dipping.
Keep up the great work Mike!
Stay Strong-Stay Quit!
MF
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Funny how that shit works, found myself doing the same thing. I'll take a few z's over a fatty anytime. What the hell were we thinking for all those years?
Another plus is the fact that the taste buds seem to be coming back, food is starting to taste better each day. Teeth seem to be a shade or two brighter as well.
A whole lot of positives associated with quitting, funny, I don't remember a lot of positives when I was dipping.
Keep up the great work Mike!
Stay Strong-Stay Quit!
MF
Yes! After my gums heal I am treating myself to teeth whitening!
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Good for you! I know exactly what you mean, staying up to get another wad of Cope in...what a waste of time! I am quite the insomniac lately though since I started my quit. Worth it though...
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Your avatar is possibly the best thing I've seen on this site.....just saying....and thank you!!!!
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No problem, I do what I can...
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Well, I guess I made it to 100 days but I'm not close to any kind of celebration for myself, I'll reserve that for the one year mark. I am however, very proud of my accomplishment of 100+ days so don't get me wrong...it's just that I'm still tackling this thing one day at a time and even one 15-minute block at a time some days and can't fathom looking too far out yet. I've been told it continues to get better and it most certainly has since the earliest days, but I can also tell it isn't going to be easy from here out either. I will keep on keeping on just like so many before me.
I'd like to thank my quit brothers and sister in the June 2009 group for welcoming me in at the very end of the month. I knew from the beginning that the June 2009 group was a force to be reckoned with...quiet but strong. Without your assistance and commitment to posting roll every day I know that I would have caved. The fact that everyone consistently posted roll drove me to do likewise. I'm generally not a conformist but in this case I KNEW I HAD TO COMPLY for me and my future health.
In addition to the whole June 2009 group, there a few guys that I'd like to single out and personally thank for the nudging that was needed for me to hang it up, the kind emails, the atta-boys and the just-checking-ins:
Chewie - You nudged me to put down the nic-gum that first day and I did...thanks for kicking me in the ass.
JPCrew, Braden, Move Forward, 20 Years UST25 - each of you welcomed me to June, checked in on me at some time and were each a great inspiration for me to succeed in my quit...thanks for taking the time to contact me. I hope to one day meet up with you Colorado guys and thank you in person!
Brad64 - Brad my quit brother, man I am so thankful for the few times we spoke those early days! Our short but poignant conversations were exactly what I needed those early days man (new guys, DO NOT OMIT the importance of getting some digits!). You had me laughing as we shared the misery, detail and angst of our own quits with each other. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
rkymtnman - Jeff, like Brad, you and I spoke a few times (pm a few times) and I want to thank you for your encouraging words. With you being a few months quit longer than me your words spoke volumes to what I was experiencing and about to experience. So far, you have been spot on, thank you!
Why did I quit?
I used copenhagen for 26 years with perhaps the longest break during that time being maybe 12 hours. I quit because I was growing tired of looking at the clock. I quit because all those little twinges of pain in my mouth started to get worse. I quit because I do not want major surgery on my jaw, face, lips or throat. I quit because I didn't want my family and friends to keep looking at me as weak. I quit because I don't want to lose time with my family and friends. I quit because I started thinking about dying more than I thought about living. Like everyone of us quitters on KTC, I hope and pray that I quit in time to keep my health.
How did I quit?
I am a stubborn muther fucker. My dipping copenhagen regimen was pretty well tuned. I decided back in Sept of 2008 to change things up. I knew that a HUGE part to me ever quitting the dip would be for me to learn new behaviors. So, in Sept I decided to NOT take that crack-my-eyes-get-a-drink-from-the-sink-throw-in-a-fatty first thing in the morning. I always knew that that first dip of the day was the one I always wanted the most....this one I had to break if I were to ever get further. Each day I refrained, knowing that as soon as I got in the car to go to work I'd have my first dip instead. The behavior was changing, but only slightly. I then decided on January 1st to start leaving my can at home during the work day and only chew at night. This was much tougher, but again I was trying to reprogram myself. When the day got too tough to deal...I just found somebody at work that chewed and bum one (which is most of the people I work with). When I found myself bumming too many chews during the day, I decided to try the nic gum. One or two pieces during the day seemed to help me and kept me from bumming a dip.
I got kind of used to this schedule, but you know what?....my mouth still hurt. When I'd hit the weekend and my can was at home like I was, it was getting dipped...a bunch. My mouth hurt more since I was going from light-amount of dipping during the week to binge dipping on the weekend. Fuck this!...I gotta quit.
On Sunday the 22 of March, I had just bought a new can and was feeling my mouth ache that night. I put in a dip and started surfing the web and found KTC. I had never known there was a support group for people quitting the chew. I read several of the intro posts, including "what to expect" and it all made sense. I stood up, told my wife "this is it, I fucking quit!", dumped my can in the toilet and joined KTC the next morning. This is when I visited with a piece of nic gum in my mouth and Chewie encouraged me to spit it out and post day one. I did and have posted each day since, as long as I have access to the internet.
So, that's my long winded storyÂ….thanks again KTC and to June 2009 for all the support.
Sincerely,
Mike