KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Can_I_Kick_It? on September 26, 2015, 03:42:00 PM
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Today is the day. Just said a prayer, asking God for strength and discipline. Then I threw out my can and spitter. I want to rid myself of this. Can I kick it? Yes, I can.
Started back when I was 15/16 yrs old. I "quit" a few times, but came right back when times got hard.
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Today is the day. Just said a prayer, asking God for strength and discipline. Then I threw out my can and spitter. I want to rid myself of this. Can I kick it? Yes, I can.
Started back when I was 15/16 yrs old. I "quit" a few times, but came right back when times got hard.
Awesome! Just say no one crave at a time. It sucks but think how strong you are for saying no. You take away the mic bitches power everytime you say no.
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And go post roll
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Today is the day. Just said a prayer, asking God for strength and discipline. Then I threw out my can and spitter. I want to rid myself of this. Can I kick it? Yes, I can.
Started back when I was 15/16 yrs old. I "quit" a few times, but came right back when times got hard.
Yes, if we can you can. It's really simple. You post roll -- a promise not to consume nicotine in any form for 24 hours-- first thing each morning. It is a promise to yourself and everyone here that you will say no to nicotine, and be free for a day. Then repeat tomorrow.
For when times get hard, exchange digits with your fellow quitters. Reach out and support eachother. Hard times ore one problem, hard times plus nicotine are two problems.
You will reach 100 days quit in January 2016, so go to that group and join your fellow day 1 quitters .
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*poof
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Well done on the roll post... it will become natural after a few days. 'oh yeah'
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*poof
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Can_I_Kick_It,
Man, congrats on taking this step; even if it's one you've taken before. I just posted on roll call right below you. I am 3 hours in and already doing some internal battle. Good luck.
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Can_I_Kick_It,
Man, congrats on taking this step; even if it's one you've taken before. I just posted on roll call right below you. I am 3 hours in and already doing some internal battle. Good luck.
Excellent quit going on here.
On the ninja with family thing... I hear that a lot. Plenty of quitters have been there done that. Regain trust on day at a time by action of staying quit. The anger and confusion part of quitting should be aimed here. We understand and can take it. Your wife didn't put crap in your lip, that was nicotine trying to seduce you.
I am damn pleased to quit with two day 1s here!
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I left a spitter by the couch. My wife found it early this morning. I had been hiding my chewing from her for some time. I got caught before and quit for a few years. It has created quite a conflict between us. Hard to do this all without her support, but I understand she is going to be mad. I deceived her and I take responsibility for it. It was just hard to tell her and seek support from her because I knew she would react badly. She doesn't exactly greet my struggle with nurturing hugs. More like persistent nags and anger. I love her dearly though. However, I'm going to do this for me, not her.
Bingo! This is about you and you can do this. If I can you can.
Drink plenty of water and read as much as you can in the forum and on main website. Book mark this thread and read your own words back to yourself as often as you can.
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*poof
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You got it brother, sac up and get it done! This is your quit, own it, take control every damn day early by posting roll when your feet hit the floor! Damn proud of you! Quit on!
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*poof
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Still remember the first time I dipped. I threw up, but it gave me such a buzz... I kept chasing that same buzz on and off for 20 years.
I really picked up the habit back then because I was a city boy among country boys. I didn't fit in and most of the guys regularly made me feel like an outsider. So I picked up the habit to get "country cred", I guess. I made the decision though to continue it for years upon years so I am not saying this to blame "them."
This shit isn't even me. It's not who I am. It is the ghost of a 15 year old Detroiter trying to fit in with country folk the wrong way. This dip is a weak lil boy. Time to man up. 'arse'
amazing isn't it... first i dipped (Skoal cherry of all god-awful things) i puked, first time i drank (gin and natural light), i puked... and for some messed up reason i decided to stick with both of those activities...
i mean if i puked after the first time ever eating a certain food, i would NEVER eat the sh!t again... explain that.
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*poof
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I know it. Makes absolutely no funking sense. For me, it was two things...
1) the chew in my lip (visual to others) was a mask to hide behind initially. It was my pass.
2) the feeling of it (to me) was escape and comfort.
One word tells the tale......ADDICT! That's how we all done this disgusting shit!
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I know it. Makes absolutely no funking sense. For me, it was two things...
1) the chew in my lip (visual to others) was a mask to hide behind initially. It was my pass.
2) the feeling of it (to me) was escape and comfort.
One word tells the tale......ADDICT! That's how we all done this disgusting shit!
so true!
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I left a spitter by the couch. My wife found it early this morning. I had been hiding my chewing from her for some time. I got caught before and quit for a few years. It has created quite a conflict between us. Hard to do this all without her support, but I understand she is going to be mad. I deceived her and I take responsibility for it. It was just hard to tell her and seek support from her because I knew she would react badly. She doesn't exactly greet my struggle with nurturing hugs. More like persistent nags and anger. I love her dearly though. However, I'm going to do this for me, not her.
My wife busted me when I left a pouch laying on the nightstand behind a picture frame. Took it out to take a nap one day when she wasn't home and forgot about it.
It sucks. A huge breech of trust that takes a long time to repair. Focus on what you can control. Quit. Do it for you. Be here first thing in the morning to make your promise not to use nic. And do it evry damn day.
Quit with you today!
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*poof
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*poof
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*poof
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My wife is pissed at me. I've had a few beers. This is usually the recipe for a dip. However, until tomorrow I'm 'Finger' to the dip. When tomorrow comes, I'll renew my commitment. This is is for the birds.
I ended up cutting back on alcohol during my quit. I'm sure it varies from person to person. I've read a few articles that say nicotine and alcohol go hand in hand. Using one makes one want to use the other is how it goes. I sort of figure why take the chance of getting drunk and having a chew. I've already read a few "cave" posts here where the member was drunk when they caved.... :P
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*poof
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Drink a lot of water. Exercise until you can't anymore, then exercise some more. Use fake, gum, seeds, whatever it takes not to cave. I quit with you today
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Ready for the next 24 hrs. Had a really rough and stressful night last night. The ghost of that 15 year old boy (myself) was calling me again...
You are in the minute by minute, hour by hour zone right now. Every minute quit is a victory.
Drink water, exercise, read KTC, get on chat, whatever it takes.
You can do this. I quit with you today.
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Trying not to over caffeniate myself during this transition. Gotta pick up more aqua...
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Trying not to over caffeniate myself during this transition. Gotta pick up more aqua...
Good call. Caffeine will have more impact (nicotine countered it before your quit), so half as much as before. Agua es bueno.
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Ready for the next 24 hrs. Had a really rough and stressful night last night. The ghost of that 15 year old boy (myself) was calling me again...
You are in the minute by minute, hour by hour zone right now. Every minute quit is a victory.
Drink water, exercise, read KTC, get on chat, whatever it takes.
You can do this. I quit with you today.
You got this! We're here use us! Damn proud of you! You're doing great! Quit on!
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Funny you mention caffein. My intake has more than doubled since I quit dipping. Probably a bad thing for me considerings my blood pressure and all. I need to slack off of caffein as well.
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*poof
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Trying not to over caffeniate myself during this transition. Gotta pick up more aqua...
Be careful with both caffeine and alcohol this first week or so. You may find caffeine more effective, and both are triggers for craves for many folks. Not to mention if you have been drinking the nic bitch may convince you to grab a can. I was rewarding myself with a couple ipa's before bed though on the rougher days. Find what works, and stick with it.
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Trying not to over caffeniate myself during this transition. Gotta pick up more aqua...
Be careful with both caffeine and alcohol this first week or so. You may find caffeine more effective, and both are triggers for craves for many folks. Not to mention if you have been drinking the nic bitch may convince you to grab a can. I was rewarding myself with a couple ipa's before bed though on the rougher days. Find what works, and stick with it.
What works is investing in your quit. You need to change a lot more than what you drink. You need to focus on making it to the next sun up.
Do not over think it. It is simple, make your promise and then fight like hell to keep it. If your looking for suggestions for drink, I recommend the red KTC kool-aid.
koolaidsplash
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*poof
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Another moment of struggle. Late night before bed. Usually a prime area to pop in a dip.
Time to go to bed...
Yes, you will find triggers everywhere so you will need to stay on guard.
I'm proud to have quit with you today. Get some sleep and thank yourself in the morning for another day nicotine free. B)B
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*poof
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
This is a great intro. Dude, you aren't in this alone.
One day at a time. How you are feeling today is not the new normal. Ever had the stomach flu? You know... The one where both ends are simultaneously exploding? And you think... Omg... I have never been this sick and it is never going to stop!?!
And then it does.
Nicotine withdrawal is the shits. It will get better. Your 30 minutes of dip solitude will become 30 minutes of you time that you will cherish. You've got this.
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
This is a great intro. Dude, you aren't in this alone.
One day at a time. How you are feeling today is not the new normal. Ever had the stomach flu? You know... The one where both ends are simultaneously exploding? And you think... Omg... I have never been this sick and it is never going to stop!?!
And then it does.
Nicotine withdrawal is the shits. It will get better. Your 30 minutes of dip solitude will become 30 minutes of you time that you will cherish. You've got this.
I now take that time to walk my daughter to the bus stop. W2W is 100% right. Embrace the suck and you will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
This is a great intro. Dude, you aren't in this alone.
One day at a time. How you are feeling today is not the new normal. Ever had the stomach flu? You know... The one where both ends are simultaneously exploding? And you think... Omg... I have never been this sick and it is never going to stop!?!
And then it does.
Nicotine withdrawal is the shits. It will get better. Your 30 minutes of dip solitude will become 30 minutes of you time that you will cherish. You've got this.
I now take that time to walk my daughter to the bus stop. W2W is 100% right. Embrace the suck and you will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.
If you can embrace those moments and see what you are becoming rather than the slave you were, those moments become small victories which are small bricks in your quit castle. You can't build that castle in one day, but keep at it, keep adding one to the wall and you'll have a fortress before you know it.
I like your attitude, but stop glorifying those moments. That was also one of the hardest things to do for me in the beginning of my quit as well, but trust me when I tell you that the faster you can get your head around the fact that dip never did a damn thing for you, the sooner you will go from struggling against your addiction to crushing it with little thought.
Sorry about your dad, I can't imagine what that would be like. You're right though, you dipping doesn't bring him back and in fact puts you in front of the locomotive when it comes to your little girl. You can do this brother, we're right here with you.
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
This is a great intro. Dude, you aren't in this alone.
One day at a time. How you are feeling today is not the new normal. Ever had the stomach flu? You know... The one where both ends are simultaneously exploding? And you think... Omg... I have never been this sick and it is never going to stop!?!
And then it does.
Nicotine withdrawal is the shits. It will get better. Your 30 minutes of dip solitude will become 30 minutes of you time that you will cherish. You've got this.
I now take that time to walk my daughter to the bus stop. W2W is 100% right. Embrace the suck and you will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.
If you can embrace those moments and see what you are becoming rather than the slave you were, those moments become small victories which are small bricks in your quit castle. You can't build that castle in one day, but keep at it, keep adding one to the wall and you'll have a fortress before you know it.
I like your attitude, but stop glorifying those moments. That was also one of the hardest things to do for me in the beginning of my quit as well, but trust me when I tell you that the faster you can get your head around the fact that dip never did a damn thing for you, the sooner you will go from struggling against your addiction to crushing it with little thought.
Sorry about your dad, I can't imagine what that would be like. You're right though, you dipping doesn't bring him back and in fact puts you in front of the locomotive when it comes to your little girl. You can do this brother, we're right here with you.
You've got to remember, we've all struggled and myself still struggling at times, but I've learned to deal with it and understand it's just part of being the addict that I am! We can do this, no one ever said it was going to be easy but no one has died from quitting! Look at all the badass supporters you have backing you! That's frigging awesome! Damn proud of you! You're doing great! Quit on my brother!
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*poof
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Wife leaves for work in 30. I got 30 minutes to myself before I leave for work. Used to be a prime opportunity. Not today, no way. The Devil is a lie.
Focus on not what you used to do but what you need to do.
This is a great intro. Dude, you aren't in this alone.
One day at a time. How you are feeling today is not the new normal. Ever had the stomach flu? You know... The one where both ends are simultaneously exploding? And you think... Omg... I have never been this sick and it is never going to stop!?!
And then it does.
Nicotine withdrawal is the shits. It will get better. Your 30 minutes of dip solitude will become 30 minutes of you time that you will cherish. You've got this.
I now take that time to walk my daughter to the bus stop. W2W is 100% right. Embrace the suck and you will come out stronger than you ever thought possible.
If you can embrace those moments and see what you are becoming rather than the slave you were, those moments become small victories which are small bricks in your quit castle. You can't build that castle in one day, but keep at it, keep adding one to the wall and you'll have a fortress before you know it.
I like your attitude, but stop glorifying those moments. That was also one of the hardest things to do for me in the beginning of my quit as well, but trust me when I tell you that the faster you can get your head around the fact that dip never did a damn thing for you, the sooner you will go from struggling against your addiction to crushing it with little thought.
Sorry about your dad, I can't imagine what that would be like. You're right though, you dipping doesn't bring him back and in fact puts you in front of the locomotive when it comes to your little girl. You can do this brother, we're right here with you.
You've got to remember, we've all struggled and myself still struggling at times, but I've learned to deal with it and understand it's just part of being the addict that I am! We can do this, no one ever said it was going to be easy but no one has died from quitting! Look at all the badass supporters you have backing you! That's frigging awesome! Damn proud of you! You're doing great! Quit on my brother!
My serial stopper/pre-quit mind...
I want to leave him, but he makes me feel so good about myself. When I’m going through stress, I don’t even need to think much. I just connect with Nic and he tells me what to do pretty much. He is my brain in times of stress. He thinks for me. It’s like when I am arguing with my wife, Nic sets me straight and says, “Don’t worry about all that shit. You have a covenant with me now. Just get your ass to the park and spend some time with me. Run away with me, run away!” Of course he's going to treat me good. Why? I go out and make money for Nic. He keeps me feeling good and I bring him the cash the only way I know how.
I tried to leave Nic for Jake. Jake is kinda like a fake pimp. He doesnÂ’t beat me the same way as Nic, but then again, he doesnÂ’t have to. I still bring him the money. Jake doesnÂ’t have to raise a fist at all. I just willingly give him my money. Why? At least he treats me better than Nic. Before you know it though, I need some Nic to protect me so I come crawling back.
I can’t help, but be pimped. You might see a “manly” lump in my cheek. I’m a “man’s man,” right? The truth is, I’m a bitch and he’s my pimp. I’m just fooling you and myself.
Keep digging bro. The more layers you can peel off early on, the sooner you get to start building the layers back. We can do nothing about the losers we used to be. We can not be a loser today, and that's all that really matters.
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Day 4- Dodging Nic (Re)Building a Solid Foundation of Support
Doing good really. The worst part of the fog seems to have passed actually. I know that Nic will coming creeping roun' the corner though once I get relaxed. He's a sneaky pimp. He'll try to get in my ear and run game on me. I know it's coming though and can peep game when I see/hear/feel it. Ain't gon' happen though. 'finger point'
Still earning back my wife's trust. I deceived her,running around with Nic. I get it. I'm just focused on posting roll every morning and stick to it until I post the next morning. This is what will rebuild our foundation. However, this time it will be stronger because I ditched the pimp, Nic.
It's been really helpful having brothers like JP Anthony there. We quit on the same day. We text back and forth from time to time just to check in. It's good to have other folk there too though, whether on discussion board or chat room or text/call. I stopped dip in the past with another person and if you become too dependent on that one person's support, when they cave, you can cave. It's not a solid foundation. I truly believe that building bridges with weak foundations are bound to collapse. It's good to have an ace (or go-to brother) like JP, but it's important to broaden out your support base and build a more sustainable foundation. In previous attempts to quit (thatturned into just stops) I always had one person with me through the journey. Usually, this particular buddy of mine. We'd quit together. However, when one caved, the foundation crumbled and we both caved.
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you quit today. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. You can dip all you want tomorrow*, just make sure you quit today. Your brothers depend on you.
Don't want to burst your bubble, but I want you to be aware. This shit will cycle. It will get better and then there will be days and times where you are all fucked up again. Dig in. Post roll. Log on. Chat, post, read, etc.
*tomorrow never comes.
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It's been really helpful having brothers like JP Anthony there. We quit on the same day. We text back and forth from time to time just to check in. It's good to have other folk there too though, whether on discussion board or chat room or text/call. I stopped dip in the past with another person and if you become too dependent on that one person's support, when they cave, you can cave. It's not a solid foundation. I truly believe that building bridges with weak foundations are bound to collapse. It's good to have an ace (or go-to brother) like JP, but it's important to broaden out your support base and build a more sustainable foundation. In previous attempts to quit (thatturned into just stops) I always had one person with me through the journey. Usually, this particular buddy of mine. We'd quit together. However, when one caved, the foundation crumbled and we both caved.
^^^^^
This is a key to success. Expand that brotherhood far and wide both within and beyond your quit group. This plus posting roll EDD are what keep us connected to reality and what protect us from nicotine's advances.
Your post inspired my quit today, thanks!
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you quit today. Not yesterday and not tomorrow. You can dip all you want tomorrow*, just make sure you quit today. Your brothers depend on you.
Don't want to burst your bubble, but I want you to be aware. This shit will cycle. It will get better and then there will be days and times where you are all fucked up again. Dig in. Post roll. Log on. Chat, post, read, etc.
*tomorrow never comes.
Thanks brother. No bubble to burst here. I'm not that naive. Been down this road a few times before. Stopped for 2 years at one time and it came back around. Stopped for a year and it came back around. That's why I said, "I'm just focused on posting roll every morning and stick to it until I post the next morning."
I'm quit w/ you today, my brother.
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Day 4 and 41 posts, and helping other new quitters..........bad ass man! I quit with you today.
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Day 4 and 41 posts, and helping other new quitters..........bad ass man! I quit with you today.
What he said ^^^^×2! Damn strong start on your quit! Don't let up, stay focused and remember you will always be an addict. And just like the rest of us we were all lusting over the whore! Never ever forget how many men and women struggle daily just to hold what's left of there grossly disfigured face up, and why was we spared?
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Had a dream last night that I caved....a dream...a dream.
Bow wow. Ain't gon' happen Nic!
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Had a dream last night that I caved....a dream...a dream.
Bow wow bitches. Ain't gon' happen Nic!
Dip dreams suck, but for me they reassure how awesome it is to be quit once I wake up!
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*poof
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Here I am on Day 5...
It has been nice to get through a variety of daily routines on the weekends and weekday. I was able to really see how many things were effected by my need to step away and dip. It's easier to see more beauty and enjoy it when you're not being pimped by Nic.
I'm also learning to refocus my energy during a disagreement with my wife. In the past, that served as a regular catalyst for me dipping. When stressed, I'd pinch a bullet out that tin and stick it in my mouth and shoot away.
I'm still on guard, but all is well. The higher mountain to climb is earning my wife's trust back. 6 days ago, she caught me in my lie. I was cheating on her with Nic for a while. I left a spitter out and she found it. 5 days ago (and everyday since).... I quit. I stay quit.
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Here I am on Day 5...
It has been nice to get through a variety of daily routines on the weekends and weekday. I was able to really see how many things were effected by my need to step away and dip. It's easier to see more beauty and enjoy it when you're not being pimped by Nic.
I'm also learning to refocus my energy during a disagreement with my wife. In the past, that served as a regular catalyst for me dipping. When stressed, I'd pinch a bullet out that tin and stick it in my mouth and shoot away.
I'm still on guard, but all is well. The higher mountain to climb is earning my wife's trust back. 6 days ago, she caught me in my lie. I was cheating on her with Nic for a while. I left a spitter out and she found it. 5 days ago (and everyday since).... I quit. I stay quit.
Well, maybe not a higher mountain in the long run, but...still a mountain to climb
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Here I am on Day 5...
It has been nice to get through a variety of daily routines on the weekends and weekday. I was able to really see how many things were effected by my need to step away and dip. It's easier to see more beauty and enjoy it when you're not being pimped by Nic.
I'm also learning to refocus my energy during a disagreement with my wife. In the past, that served as a regular catalyst for me dipping. When stressed, I'd pinch a bullet out that tin and stick it in my mouth and shoot away.
I'm still on guard, but all is well. The higher mountain to climb is earning my wife's trust back. 6 days ago, she caught me in my lie. I was cheating on her with Nic for a while. I left a spitter out and she found it. 5 days ago (and everyday since).... I quit. I stay quit.
Well, maybe not a higher mountain in the long run, but...still a mountain to climb
You will earn the trust back when she realizes how much more time you're spending with her instead of the nic hoe! Quit on!
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*poof
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Day 6 - Resisting Codependence
I had another cave dream. Nothing detailed, but just caved. It's all good. Dreams are dreams.
Feeling good today and ready to quit for 24. The dog house is growing. It a beautiful thing to see. As much as I like to see this and take pride in the dog house, I'm also trying to be sure not to get lost in co-dependence. As with other things, sometimes we can get lost in "helping others" in order to escape our own struggle. The danger in doing this in cases like this is that our sobriety from Nic can become dependent on having others to "get lost in."
I'm in the dog house all day, every day.
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Got my first hug from wifie since the ninja in me was exposed. On Day 6...last Friday, I was busted and had a coming to. Time to make a change...
These bullets from Nic can split a family up like no other. My wife and I have Jesus at the center though. This keeps us honest and reconciliatory, even if it takes a while at times.
I'm climbing the mountain slowly.
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Cave dreams happen. I used to have cancer dreams about my teeth falling out and losing my jaw.
This too shall pass.
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Got my first hug from wifie since the ninja in me was exposed. On Day 6...last Friday, I was busted and had a coming to. Time to make a change...
These bullets from Nic can split a family up like no other. My wife and I have Jesus at the center though. This keeps us honest and reconciliatory, even if it takes a while at times.
I'm climbing the mountain slowly.
Good win CIKI. In my intro around day 49 (end of August-ish) I detailed a pretty wicked fallout with the Mrs. that included her asking me to start chewing again. Ultimately, because I am quitting for me first and foremost, I didn't give in. My fight was even more resolute.
As you said, addiction can and often does drive rifts between even the strongest of families. You've chosen to be stronger than your addiction so that your family does not have to suffer in that manner. So long as you continue to make that exact same decision every day, you win.
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Cave dreams happen. I used to have cancer dreams about my teeth falling out and losing my jaw.
This too shall pass.
man.... I had the tooth loss dreams before. Just trying to eat a sandwich and my teeth are just crumbling... scary shit..
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Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?
I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.
Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.
Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!
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Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?
I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.
Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.
Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!
I know it's hard to see now because your wife wants to gouge your eyes for last weekend, but one of the things I noticed right away was how much more time I spent with her. The normal nighttime routine was get dinner on the table, baths for the kids, bedtime routine until about 7:00 p.m. when the kids went to bed. 7-7:30 dump and shower so I could dip. 7:30-8:30 sit and read twitter or espn on my phone while Mrs. watched TV. 8:30ish, escort Mrs. to bed so I could return to the living room by myself and get another dip or two in before bed.
It's a microcosm, but our whole lives were figuring out how to get the next fix for the withdrawals. Now? Kids still go to bed around 7, but from 7-9:30 or so, the wife and I hang out! We watch some terrible shows she DVRs, and while I laugh at the ridiculousness of the content of the shows, we actually talk again now! We are both enjoying the additional quality time together. There's something better out there than a lip full of poison. When we go out for dinner, I'm not in a hurry to get home to indulge in my affair. It's incredibly liberating to go anywhere even an all-day event, and not be consumed by how I'm going to get that fix.
This is a part of the "bigger picture" of quitting dip. You are changing the man inside. You are not just ditching dip. It's hard to explain this and even harder to understand when you're in the suck, foggy and raging. A couple months into it, you start to see all the stuff you were missing for so long just so you could selfishly poison yourself. The complete refusal to ever go back to that kind of slavery will keep me quit all day today.
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Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?
I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.
Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.
Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!
I know it's hard to see now because your wife wants to gouge your eyes for last weekend, but one of the things I noticed right away was how much more time I spent with her. The normal nighttime routine was get dinner on the table, baths for the kids, bedtime routine until about 7:00 p.m. when the kids went to bed. 7-7:30 dump and shower so I could dip. 7:30-8:30 sit and read twitter or espn on my phone while Mrs. watched TV. 8:30ish, escort Mrs. to bed so I could return to the living room by myself and get another dip or two in before bed.
It's a microcosm, but our whole lives were figuring out how to get the next fix for the withdrawals. Now? Kids still go to bed around 7, but from 7-9:30 or so, the wife and I hang out! We watch some terrible shows she DVRs, and while I laugh at the ridiculousness of the content of the shows, we actually talk again now! We are both enjoying the additional quality time together. There's something better out there than a lip full of poison. When we go out for dinner, I'm not in a hurry to get home to indulge in my affair. It's incredibly liberating to go anywhere even an all-day event, and not be consumed by how I'm going to get that fix.
This is a part of the "bigger picture" of quitting dip. You are changing the man inside. You are not just ditching dip. It's hard to explain this and even harder to understand when you're in the suck, foggy and raging. A couple months into it, you start to see all the stuff you were missing for so long just so you could selfishly poison yourself. The complete refusal to ever go back to that kind of slavery will keep me quit all day today.
I think the freedom we gain from quitting is more about this then it is about not having to fear health concerns and other issues. It's about having the freedom to live your life without having to give up precious moments on a crutch. We can never gain back the moments lost in life to this weed but we can take advantage of our regained freedom and enjoy the moments coming. That is freedom! Living life without robbing ourselves and others of who we are.
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Infidelity The Pimp
You've watched the scene in the movies... Husband/wife is laying up in the bed with an extramarital side piece, while talking on the phone to his/her husband or wife. I watch these scenes and think to myself, "now that's some dirty ass, low-down, kind of shit! You're butt naked in the bed with another woman and talking to your wife on the phone...dang!" At the end of the day, if you can't stay monogamous, you shouldn't enter a covenant (or contract, however you see it) with another person to be exclusive.
I never have cheated on my wife with another person. However, there have been many times where I found myself "laid up" with my pimp, Nic. I'd be in the car with a bullet in my cheek, talking to my wife. I spent so much time with Nic. Not only was I cheating on my wife, but I was cheating on my wife with something that was literally killing me slowly. Bullet after bullet stuffed in my cheek, slowly penetrating my head, paying another installment on the down payment for my death.
For 7 days now, I get up and make a promise to myself and my KTC community not to chew or use any form of tobacco for the next 24 hours. I am going to make a conscious effort to renew my covenant with the Lord prior to posting roll. After posting roll, I will then renew my covenant with my wife every morning. I won't make this quit about my wife, but she is connected to it. I don't need to sit her down and tell her, but it will simply be a minute for me to meditate on and reflect on what is important... what is much more important than another bullet to the head.
I stay quit now! Bow wow, Dog house!
-
Here I am.... day 9. I'm good. Can't complain. Went through a cycle of triggers and made it thru. No turning back at all.
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Day 10 - Idolatry Dippin'
I am a Christian. Idolatry is a sin and I have slowly, but surely been trying to rid myself of the multiple forms of idolatry that I've learned to hold through the years. Here, on day 10 as I reflect, I realize that I have held chewing tobacco as an Idol. For years, I've turned to it for comfort, to reduce my anxiety. A tin of dip has served as my savior in times of stress...so I thought. Sometimes, I would even pop a dip in my cheek and then talk to God. I always popped the dip in first though. THEN... I prayed to God.
This shouldn't be the case. This is no longer the case. A dip will no longer take precedence over my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
When I have triggers that tempt me to draw back to a dip, I will draw closer to the Lord in those moments. Just like it was meant to be...
I'm a sucker, Lord. Sorry it took me so long to come around. Then again, You knew that was going to happen, huh?
-
Salty Dog!
It gets better....
When a sheep keeps running away from the Shepard.
Sometimes he will break the sheeps leg.
Not just so he cant run away.
But because then the Sheppard has to carry him on his shoulders all day.
During that time of healing, they develope a new relationship,
so the sheep never wants to run away from his master again.
Your body is healing...
I quit with you today.
Rawls 323
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But because then the Sheppard has to carry him on his shoulders all day.
During that time of healing, they develope a new relationship,
so the sheep never wants to run away from his master again.
It's funny you said this because I have a image tattooed on my right forearm of Jesus doing just that
(commemorating Luke 15:1-7)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?s ... e%2015:1-7 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2015:1-7)
Amen, brother! I quit with you today in the name of Jesus.
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Day 12 - Still Kickin' It
Can I kick it? Yes, ya can! The words of the great Tribe. I didn't need to wait or ask to kick it, I just did. I'm doing good. Standing strong. Staying quit. The world is presenting me with the usual temptations plus quite a bit more. I am facing situations lately that, in the past, i would have chewed off my lip. However, I quit. It is what it is.
(Walks off into the morning sunrise with a cheek full of sunflower seeds.
(Spits outta shell)
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Proud of you Can_I!
Hang in there. You are a tough guy it already shows...
I quit with you today!
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Proud of you Can_I!
Hang in there. You are a tough guy it already shows...
I quit with you today!
Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. I quit with you today.
Keep leading the way cowboy
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Can my brother, we all have are troubles and trials but remember there's always someone out there alot worse off than us! Stop smell the roses and count your blessings and smile! Damn proud of you! Quit on!
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Day 13 - Accountability
I am blessed to have found this community. 13 days ago, when I decided to man up and leave the pimp, I was greeted with open arms by a community of brothers and sisters who were are struggling with the same thing as me. I posted roll and got nothing, but support. I posted an introduction and vets and newbies alike stepped in to tell me to stay strong and stay quit. I read about the struggles and triumphs of others. I read about brothers and sisters braving, craving, caving, saving, and slaving. I learned from people willing to share. I connected with JP Anthony really quick because we quit on the same day. Quickly, we exchanged numbers and began to support one another and hold one another accountable. However, we can't do this shit as a pair so we both connected broadly with others. Our group continued to grow with newbies... that group developed an identity called the DOG House, a collection of bad ass quitters that will experience their Hall of Fame in January 2016.
EDD we take it ODAAT by encouraging one another, bitching at one another, holding each other accountable, sharing our struggles, sharing our glories, making each other laugh. The shit really is beautiful. However, it wouldn't work if it weren't for a collective conscience and a set of established norms, values, and practices in KTC. Some time we might disagree with the rules and we bitch back and forth in open forum or in chat rooms. However, as a community, we respect that which was created. That honor and respect seems to be one of the main components that allows the community to be as strong as it is.
This movement is strong and as people step in and disrespect it... it will mobilize and get stronger. Why? Because KTC is not just a collection of individuals, it is a community. Individuals kick the can. Communities kill that sumbitch!
Stay strong. Stay quit!
Bow wow! Dog House 4 Life.
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Day 13 - Accountability
I am blessed to have found this community. 13 days ago, when I decided to man up and leave the pimp, I was greeted with open arms by a community of brothers and sisters who were are struggling with the same thing as me. I posted roll and got nothing, but support. I posted an introduction and vets and newbies alike stepped in to tell me to stay strong and stay quit. I read about the struggles and triumphs of others. I read about brothers and sisters braving, craving, caving, saving, and slaving. I learned from people willing to share. I connected with JP Anthony really quick because we quit on the same day. Quickly, we exchanged numbers and began to support one another and hold one another accountable. However, we can't do this shit as a pair so we both connected broadly with others. Our group continued to grow with newbies... that group developed an identity called the DOG House, a collection of bad ass quitters that will experience their Hall of Fame in January 2016.
EDD we take it ODAAT by encouraging one another, bitching at one another, holding each other accountable, sharing our struggles, sharing our glories, making each other laugh. The shit really is beautiful. However, it wouldn't work if it weren't for a collective conscience and a set of established norms, values, and practices in KTC. Some time we might disagree with the rules and we bitch back and forth in open forum or in chat rooms. However, as a community, we respect that which was created. That honor and respect seems to be one of the main components that allows the community to be as strong as it is.
This movement is strong and as people step in and disrespect it... it will mobilize and get stronger. Why? Because KTC is not just a collection of individuals, it is a community. Individuals kick the can. Communities kill that sumbitch!
Stay strong. Stay quit!
Bow wow! Dog House 4 Life.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
-
*poof
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Day - 14 - (spits a shell)
Ain't no thang...
Yanking cravings like "jump"
-
Remember that the positives of quitting greatly outweight the negative. The harshest reality is looking though pictures of those who got mouth cancer. Don't become a statistic. Keep the faith strong and post roll. You are stronger than the nic and you won't do this alone!
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Day #14 Day #7 - Nic Al Free
Tonight, my wife and I went out for date night. It was my first real test and craving to drink alcohol. It was Friday. Had a long week of work. We were eating good food. I wanted a drink. A drink would very often lead to a ninja dip later.
I resisted and it felt good. The craving was strong, but it wasn't long-lasting at all. Trust me, just ride it out. Nic and Al got too many people out there to pimp. They won't hang around too long for ya. Just entertain them for a bit and they'll leave ya alone.
Now back to Key Peele.
-
Remember that the positives of quitting greatly outweight the negative. The harshest reality is looking though pictures of those who got mouth cancer. Don't become a statistic. Keep the faith strong and post roll. You are stronger than the nic and you won't do this alone!
Hey N2Q,
You should jump into the DOG House groupme. We been waiting for ya.
Interested?
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What would have been -- Day 2 or Day 17?
17 days ago, I said that Oct. 11 would be my quit day. Why? It is my step-father's birthday. He supported my mother to stop smoking cigarettes some years ago. She was smoking 3 packs/day with asthma. I said that I would never start smoking because my mother quit for me... so I started dipping.
Nonetheless, 17 days ago I was making excuses to extend my quit day another two weeks. If I would have done that, I would be on day 2 feeling the fog today. However, I am not only day 17 quit Nic, but I am on day 10 of sober living now.
There is no better time than now. When you wanted that Nic, you would have went through hell and high water to have it ASAP... digging through the change in your middle council...scrapping the empty tins in your ninja outfits.... running late for work to get that dip in proper... etc.... When Nic wants to pimp you.... he pimps you.
So... why do you give Nic a head's up?
"Hey Nic, I know you're my pimp and you been abusing me for years, but I just wanted to do you a favor and let you know that I am going to be leaving you in two weeks... if that is okay with you, of course.." -- How does that usually work out? Sure, give him time to plan your continued submission to him.
Why a "quit date"?
If you are tired of being pimped, pack your damn bags and take the first out you got! This community is like the Harriet Tubman of dip slavery.
What the hell are you waiting for? Nic is looking the other way now. Flush that shit and come with us!
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What would have been -- Day 2 or Day 17?
17 days ago, I said that Oct. 11 would be my quit day. Why? It is my step-father's birthday. He supported my mother to stop smoking cigarettes some years ago. She was smoking 3 packs/day with asthma. I said that I would never start smoking because my mother quit for me... so I started dipping.
Nonetheless, 17 days ago I was making excuses to extend my quit day another two weeks. If I would have done that, I would be on day 2 feeling the fog today. However, I am not only day 17 quit Nic, but I am on day 10 of sober living now.
There is no better time than now. When you wanted that Nic, you would have went through hell and high water to have it ASAP... digging through the change in your middle council...scrapping the empty tins in your ninja outfits.... running late for work to get that dip in proper... etc.... When Nic wants to pimp you.... he pimps you.
So... why do you give Nic a head's up?
"Hey Nic, I know you're my pimp and you been abusing me for years, but I just wanted to do you a favor and let you know that I am going to be leaving you in two weeks... if that is okay with you, of course.." -- How does that usually work out? Sure, give him time to plan your continued submission to him.
Why a "quit date"?
If you are tired of being pimped, pack your damn bags and take the first out you got! This community is like the Harriet Tubman of dip slavery.
What the hell are you waiting for? Nic is looking the other way now. Flush that shit and come with us!
Awesome stuff CIKI, you have tasted the elusive freedom. For me, the cravings for freedom outweigh the cravings for nicotine. It's that simple.
-
I quitÂ… kinda
Next week, I quit dip
Kick it and keep on
Popped tin and licked it
Slick trick and all gone
Pockets, done checked ‘em
Spring cleaning for death
Tooth sockets? Done wrecked ‘em
Big Nic on my breath
I quit, not today though
Next week, itÂ’s game on
I quit, not this week though
Burn through this last log
I quit, not this month though
He sings the same song
I quit, not this life though
Cuz now this lifeÂ’s gone
He saidÂ…
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Day 18 -- Creating Community
It's an awesome feeling to have people supporting you. Especially people who know exactly what you are going through. For a long time, many of us have went ninja and when we stopped for a bit, we'd do it with a buddy. It never worked.
An individual can kick a can, but a community can kill it.
Once the honeymoon stage of the first couple weeks settled in, I was reminded that life with KTC was more than just posting roll, supporting my DOGs, sharing my journey, and reading of the wisdom of others. We have a responsibility to rope in others who have been pimped by Nic. It's not that we should get lost in a co-dependency of saving others... however, we need to be there to receive others who are willing to help themselves.
This place isn't just a supermarket that you pop into and pick what you need from the shelves. Once you get settled and find your own rhythm, what are you doing to contribute to the acclimation of others???
Stay strong! Stay quit! Kick the pimp!
-
Day 18 -- Creating Community
It's an awesome feeling to have people supporting you. Especially people who know exactly what you are going through. For a long time, many of us have went ninja and when we stopped for a bit, we'd do it with a buddy. It never worked.
An individual can kick a can, but a community can kill it.
Once the honeymoon stage of the first couple weeks settled in, I was reminded that life with KTC was more than just posting roll, supporting my DOGs, sharing my journey, and reading of the wisdom of others. We have a responsibility to rope in others who have been pimped by Nic. It's not that we should get lost in a co-dependency of saving others... however, we need to be there to receive others who are willing to help themselves.
This place isn't just a supermarket that you pop into and pick what you need from the shelves. Once you get settled and find your own rhythm, what are you doing to contribute to the acclimation of others???
Stay strong! Stay quit! Kick the pimp!
Right on! Right on! You go you badass quitter! Well said. Keep paying it forward, it only gets better! Damn proud to be quit with you!
-
Tres semanas sin Tabaco - estallar la burbuja
Three weeks without tobacco - pop the bubble
It's been 21 days without dip. Life is good. I have the fog from time to time, but I fight through it. Most of the time, those cravings or that fog, only lasts for a short while. The trick is to not get yourself stuck in a bubble of that particular emotion at that time. It's easy to have anxiety or a panic attack if you allow the devil to suck you into that bubble of that moment for too long... it can get ugly, if you let it.
What is the bubble? The bubble is that moment when you have a craving, when you have the fog, or when you almost feel outside of your body. It can be like driving on the highway and suddenly becoming increasingly conscious that you are driving 75 miles per hour. You can come consumed for the moment of that idea and think of the negative possibilities. Oh my God!!! I want to dip! Oh my God!! I feel weird! Oh my God!!! I don't feel myself! Oh my God!!! I could die if I crashed right now! So... just calm your ass down.
Be conscious of the bubble and what it means. Poke around it a little to get comfortable with it. I am suggesting that you simply get acquainted with the feeling. It will happen again. If you know what it is when it comes, you will know that it won't last if you don't let it. If you know it won't last, you'll be less likely to be sucked into that bubble for a longer period of time. It will eventually pop just like a soap bubble.
Just remember... when the bubble comes... you are the one that controls how long it lasts. Don't extend it's life by freaking out... just enjoy the ride, smirk at Nic, at let it ride out.
'oh yeah'
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ODAAT Day #1 is Always Lurking
Accountability is important. Accountability is vital. This is especially true when you are trying to kill a can before it kills you. Sometimes though, we can have a distorted perspective of what accountability is. Accountability is "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions."
Accountability is not just lurking around the corner every other minute to point out a perceived mistake. Of course, this may be PART of it, but this is not accountability in and of itself. If accountability is about having an obligation to accept your responsibility, we first have to consider what is our responsibility in this community.
Here are a few things of what I've been able to make of responsibilities in this community in my first month:
1) Post roll EDD
2) Connect w/ your quit group
3) Stay engaged w/ your quit group to keep one another accountable
4) Connect with vets and stay engaged with them
5) Share your journey -- this is for you and the community -- iron sharpens iron, now whip out your sword (awkward moment)
6) Read the trials, tribulations, and successes of those who came, conquered and even those who stumbled before you. WOW's, HOF's, HOL's, etc...
7) Support others by posting support in other groups, old and newbies. The closer you are to posting an average of 1.0 posts/day, the more likely you are that guy/gal who posts roll and goes ghost. Take the time to support others!
We can learn a lot from one another, old and new. I respect those who have quit long before me and have stuck to it. Stay strong and stay quit! However, this accolade only gets us so far. I know what it is like to quit solo for an extended period of time (even up to 2 years) and cave. It doesn't matter if you are on day 25 or received a comma (1,000 days)... we are all in the same boat and any one of us can slip and fall off with JUST ONE MISTAKE. We are all one mistake away from day #1. Therefore, stay accountable, keep others accountable, but also... stay humble because it doesn't matter how far down this road you are, one mistake and it is day #1.
Romans 12:16 says, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
-
ODAAT Day #1 is Always Lurking
Accountability is important. Accountability is vital. This is especially true when you are trying to kill a can before it kills you. Sometimes though, we can have a distorted perspective of what accountability is. Accountability is "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions."
Accountability is not just lurking around the corner every other minute to point out a perceived mistake. Of course, this may be PART of it, but this is not accountability in and of itself. If accountability is about having an obligation to accept your responsibility, we first have to consider what is our responsibility in this community.
Here are a few things of what I've been able to make of responsibilities in this community in my first month:
1) Post roll EDD
2) Connect w/ your quit group
3) Stay engaged w/ your quit group to keep one another accountable
4) Connect with vets and stay engaged with them
5) Share your journey -- this is for you and the community -- iron sharpens iron, now whip out your sword (awkward moment)
6) Read the trials, tribulations, and successes of those who came, conquered and even those who stumbled before you. WOW's, HOF's, HOL's, etc...
7) Support others by posting support in other groups, old and newbies. The closer you are to posting an average of 1.0 posts/day, the more likely you are that guy/gal who posts roll and goes ghost. Take the time to support others!
We can learn a lot from one another, old and new. I respect those who have quit long before me and have stuck to it. Stay strong and stay quit! However, this accolade only gets us so far. I know what it is like to quit solo for an extended period of time (even up to 2 years) and cave. It doesn't matter if you are on day 25 or received a comma (1,000 days)... we are all in the same boat and any one of us can slip and fall off with JUST ONE MISTAKE. We are all one mistake away from day #1. Therefore, stay accountable, keep others accountable, but also... stay humble because it doesn't matter how far down this road you are, one mistake and it is day #1.
Romans 12:16 says, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
Don't ever forget that you typed this.
A dude that would be celebrating a comma this month caved last month. 900+ days. He posted the same nonsense all cavers post initially when pressed for why he caved. After pressuring him a bit, he admitted that he had gotten lax in posting daily and didn't have a phone full of connections that he stayed in contact with.
The only people who cave after HOF are those who don't post daily.
Worktowin 1,031 (haven't missed a day yet)
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ODAAT Day #1 is Always Lurking
Accountability is important. Accountability is vital. This is especially true when you are trying to kill a can before it kills you. Sometimes though, we can have a distorted perspective of what accountability is. Accountability is "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions."
Accountability is not just lurking around the corner every other minute to point out a perceived mistake. Of course, this may be PART of it, but this is not accountability in and of itself. If accountability is about having an obligation to accept your responsibility, we first have to consider what is our responsibility in this community.
Here are a few things of what I've been able to make of responsibilities in this community in my first month:
1) Post roll EDD
2) Connect w/ your quit group
3) Stay engaged w/ your quit group to keep one another accountable
4) Connect with vets and stay engaged with them
5) Share your journey -- this is for you and the community -- iron sharpens iron, now whip out your sword (awkward moment)
6) Read the trials, tribulations, and successes of those who came, conquered and even those who stumbled before you. WOW's, HOF's, HOL's, etc...
7) Support others by posting support in other groups, old and newbies. The closer you are to posting an average of 1.0 posts/day, the more likely you are that guy/gal who posts roll and goes ghost. Take the time to support others!
We can learn a lot from one another, old and new. I respect those who have quit long before me and have stuck to it. Stay strong and stay quit! However, this accolade only gets us so far. I know what it is like to quit solo for an extended period of time (even up to 2 years) and cave. It doesn't matter if you are on day 25 or received a comma (1,000 days)... we are all in the same boat and any one of us can slip and fall off with JUST ONE MISTAKE. We are all one mistake away from day #1. Therefore, stay accountable, keep others accountable, but also... stay humble because it doesn't matter how far down this road you are, one mistake and it is day #1.
Romans 12:16 says, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
Don't ever forget that you typed this.
A dude that would be celebrating a comma this month caved last month. 900+ days. He posted the same nonsense all cavers post initially when pressed for why he caved. After pressuring him a bit, he admitted that he had gotten lax in posting daily and didn't have a phone full of connections that he stayed in contact with.
The only people who cave after HOF are those who don't post daily.
Worktowin 1,031 (haven't missed a day yet)
This makes me want to QLF all day today. This is awesome stuff CIKI, and I'm damn proud to post my promise with you every single day. Keep cataloguing these thoughts and concerns, it helps newbies and vets alike. Keep killing it, you're one bad ass quitter.
-
ODAAT Day #1 is Always Lurking
Accountability is important. Accountability is vital. This is especially true when you are trying to kill a can before it kills you. Sometimes though, we can have a distorted perspective of what accountability is. Accountability is "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions."
Accountability is not just lurking around the corner every other minute to point out a perceived mistake. Of course, this may be PART of it, but this is not accountability in and of itself. If accountability is about having an obligation to accept your responsibility, we first have to consider what is our responsibility in this community.
Here are a few things of what I've been able to make of responsibilities in this community in my first month:
1) Post roll EDD
2) Connect w/ your quit group
3) Stay engaged w/ your quit group to keep one another accountable
4) Connect with vets and stay engaged with them
5) Share your journey -- this is for you and the community -- iron sharpens iron, now whip out your sword (awkward moment)
6) Read the trials, tribulations, and successes of those who came, conquered and even those who stumbled before you. WOW's, HOF's, HOL's, etc...
7) Support others by posting support in other groups, old and newbies. The closer you are to posting an average of 1.0 posts/day, the more likely you are that guy/gal who posts roll and goes ghost. Take the time to support others!
We can learn a lot from one another, old and new. I respect those who have quit long before me and have stuck to it. Stay strong and stay quit! However, this accolade only gets us so far. I know what it is like to quit solo for an extended period of time (even up to 2 years) and cave. It doesn't matter if you are on day 25 or received a comma (1,000 days)... we are all in the same boat and any one of us can slip and fall off with JUST ONE MISTAKE. We are all one mistake away from day #1. Therefore, stay accountable, keep others accountable, but also... stay humble because it doesn't matter how far down this road you are, one mistake and it is day #1.
Romans 12:16 says, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
Don't ever forget that you typed this.
A dude that would be celebrating a comma this month caved last month. 900+ days. He posted the same nonsense all cavers post initially when pressed for why he caved. After pressuring him a bit, he admitted that he had gotten lax in posting daily and didn't have a phone full of connections that he stayed in contact with.
The only people who cave after HOF are those who don't post daily.
Worktowin 1,031 (haven't missed a day yet)
This makes me want to QLF all day today. This is awesome stuff CIKI, and I'm damn proud to post my promise with you every single day. Keep cataloguing these thoughts and concerns, it helps newbies and vets alike. Keep killing it, you're one bad ass quitter.
Thanks, brother! I quit with you today. Thanks for your support and helping out so many people.
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Can_I_Kick_It:
Solid thread here. Great quit advice and you've got me pumped up about my quit (and yours haha) today.
Saw the post at the top of your page about date night. Reminded me of something Tuco wrote a while back, not sure if you've seen it (topic/11175821/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11175821/1/#new))
Also, "estallar la burbuja", hablas español mae? Estoy aquà en Costa Rica por si quieres un QUITTER que habla español. (No sé una traducción perfecta de quitter, el diccionario dice derrotista pero eso significa alguna persona que abandona fácilmente una cosa, y rechazo la definición!)
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Can_I_Kick_It:
Solid thread here. Great quit advice and you've got me pumped up about my quit (and yours haha) today.
Saw the post at the top of your page about date night. Reminded me of something Tuco wrote a while back, not sure if you've seen it (topic/11175821/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11175821/1/#new))
Also, "estallar la burbuja", hablas español mae? Estoy aquà en Costa Rica por si quieres un QUITTER que habla español. (No sé una traducción perfecta de quitter, el diccionario dice derrotista pero eso significa alguna persona que abandona fácilmente una cosa, y rechazo la definición!)
Thanks for the support, my brother.
I will have to translate your Spanish. I know VERY LIMITED.
Yeah, I read that Truco post at some point over the last 25 days. Good stuff.
I quit with you today brother.
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Can_I_Kick_It:
Solid thread here. Great quit advice and you've got me pumped up about my quit (and yours haha) today.
Saw the post at the top of your page about date night. Reminded me of something Tuco wrote a while back, not sure if you've seen it (topic/11175821/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11175821/1/#new))
Also, "estallar la burbuja", hablas español mae? Estoy aquà en Costa Rica por si quieres un QUITTER que habla español. (No sé una traducción perfecta de quitter, el diccionario dice derrotista pero eso significa alguna persona que abandona fácilmente una cosa, y rechazo la definición!)
Thanks for the support, my brother.
I will have to translate your Spanish. I know VERY LIMITED.
Yeah, I read that Truco post at some point over the last 25 days. Good stuff.
I quit with you today brother.
¿Costa Rica? Apuesto a que el clima es más cálido que aquà en Michigan ahora.
Está bien si no tenemos traducción para " desertor ". Tal vez se nos llama " dejar de fumar tabaco? "
Por cierto, yo no hablo español . Estoy usando el traductor de Google . Acabo de tener el impulso de escribir ese tÃtulo en español . No sé por qué ...
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Nobody is Special or Everybody is - Day 26 Reflection
I started dipping back when I was about 15 years old. Since then, I've stopped on 3 major occasions that I can think of. This is my first quit though.
Of the three other occasions, the most recent was just a couple years ago. I had stopped for 2 years. Then, one day... I was at a conference in NY. I had a hotel room all to myself. It was a long conference day and I was stressed out. It was then and there, just me and Nic... I caved. Nobody was watching. Then the madness came in like flood waters. I was avoiding people for the rest of the conference, convincing myself that I needed "time to myself." I was losing out on valuable time to network and fellowship with colleagues across the country. Why? So I could get back to my hotel room and stick those little bullets in my cheek.
Before, I tried to do it alone... well, with God watching, but that was it. Obviously, I rebelled against His desire for me and broke my promise to Him or I wouldn't be here on Day 26. That's who I am ultimately accountable with this quit. Not my wife, not even myself... this is about honoring God. I come from a belief that God is in me. If God is in me, why am I stuffing toxins inside of me with Him? Am I trying to poison my creator? Can't happen. No more.
I appreciate the support from "the vets" on here. I respect anyone who has quit and maintained that quit for an extended period. However, no one in here is special or everybody is. Sometimes in the process of "holding people accountable" we can become overzealous with a need to play teacher. You know the people. No matter what you say and do, they have a desire to feel needed and/or to be in the lead so they will give you advice no matter what you say. They are not even listening to you. They are thinking about how to respond to you and lead you. However, as someone who has been in many positions of leadership, I can tell you that the most pragmatic forms of mentorship are not always advising and directing someone... sometimes, people just need support and fellowship. Sometimes they don't need words... they need someone and something to watch.
This is especially true for us men. We have been nurtured in many ways to believe we always have to take the lead and that leadership looks a certain way. Sometimes the best leadership is to practice followership. That's difficult for ego-driven men though. When we are in a position as an elder or a more experienced person or "a vet", sometimes it's worth it to take a step back and ask ourselves:
"Why am I trying to lead this person? Is this for them or is this fulfilling an internal desire of my own?"
Sometimes we think that our experience and age alone should afford us favor amongst our peers. This experience and age serves almost as a form of currency. Maybe our badge of honor aka the "fine clothes" we wear comes in the form of a big number after our handle when we post roll. However, if we are humbly approaching our service to one another, wisdom will naturally come. It will be that wisdom that actually takes lead and it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to verbalize our leadership all the time.
A little scripture to consider (James 2:1-13)... none of us are special or everybody is
My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?
8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.
12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
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Hopscotch Addiction
Most of us, I would imagine, started dipping for childish reasons or for reasons that we don't even know. However, many of us maintained the habit partly because it provided comfort. Sometimes that comfort was sought after to avoid something.
For example, I often think of my addiction to dipping as the ghost of a 15 yr old boy trying to fit in. This was a little boy that was plopped in the middle of a community that he didn't fit in well with. To make a long story, short... the boy began dipping and drinking hard liquor out the bottle because that is what got him cred in said community. For that boy, the dipping was a mask to wear.
Obviously, I was that 15 year old boy. Dipping brought me comfort and security in that environment. I was seeking protection from a group of boys who had obviously been lead astray during their youth. They didn't like "my kind." So it was the old "can't beat 'em, join 'em." Man how I wish I had Jesus Christ in my life at that time. It would have completely changed the game for me. Instead, I found comfort in Nic and Liq and a few other masks...
So what is it that you were hiding from? Now that you are quit, is it just about shedding the nicotine and oral fixation? Or is there something deeper there that needs to be addressed? Maybe it's not just about the Nic... if it is something deeper, don't just play hopscotch like I did from addiction to addiction. Confront the issue that your distracting yourself from. Seek God for answers.
Stay strong! Stay quit!
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Day 28 - Caving - Spreading Strife Among Brothers Sisters
I was in chat in recent days and had a good conversation with a brother in quit. We were in disagreement about what someone said recently in the forum. I had expressed discontent with a moment of venting that someone had. I felt that their outburst in the forum created discord and was uncalled for. In the midst of our disagreement, this brother expressed to me that he hadn't liked me for a while, ever since I spun his words out of context. I asked him what it was regarding. He retrieved the post and sent the link. I read it and I agreed, I was a jerk. I basically translated a heart to heart this brother was having with a new quitter by saying, "fuck yourself and jump in the water." I didn't mean this in a bad way. I was basically saying that this brother needs to get real with himself and ditch the dip right here, right now. This is not my normal approach in life. It is not me. I was new to KTC and quickly got swept into the river of militancy that some cultivate around here. It was in my control though whether I wanted to jump in the river with them so I take blame. I did in this moment and it was a bad idea. I apologized to my brother for trying to pull him in the river as well. It was stupid of me.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
1) Haughty eyes, (Haughty means "arrogantly superior")
2) A lying tongue,
3) And hands that shed innocent blood,
4) A heart that devises wicked plans,
5) Feet that run rapidly to evil,
6) A false witness who utters lies,
7) And one who spreads strife among brothers.
We have rules here in KTC. However, sometimes, how some people apply them go directly against what I am called to do as a Christian. I can't participate in the same way. This doesn't mean that I have to maintain a gentle hand with everything, void of accountability. However, I see a variety of things unfold in moments when a reluctant quitter steps in and/or a caver reenters the world of KTC.
Some in KTC carry haughty eyes with them as that number to the right of their handle increases. However, as we've seen from even the post that my fellow DOG, FWLPLAY shared today, you can be on day #900 one day and day #1 on the next.
Also, lying tongues fly around and false witnesses come out of the woodwork in the forums when holding cavers accountable. People come in to stir the pot so that someone can "feel the burn" of reentering KTC after caving on yourself and brothers/sisters. I have come to see people stretch the truth in order to bring shock and attention to someone's failure to uphold their oath.
Certainly, wicked plans are devised once a caver steps back in. Backdoor conversations start and "shitnados" are planned.
Of course, once the "shitnado" starts... many feet run rapidly to the evil, jump in, and contribute to the fire that was started. Some from people who don't do anything else, but post roll.
Most noticeably, what happens is that people intentionally spread strife among brothers/sisters because it "brings that group together." Well... it doesn't really work and this has been proven time and time again. It only works temporarily. If a group's bonding is dependent on an "outside threat", then it will have to seek (and often create) an "outside threat" regularly in order to stay bonded. Otherwise, that group won't be consistently bonded. That is not a solid foundation. It is a foundation built on strife. Let's think about that.
I'm not perfect. As I mentioned, I've played into this myself. I've contributed to it in just 28 days in this community.
Yes, we have rules here. However, my primary rule book is God's word and my primary reason for this quit has to do with my faith in Jesus and devotion to God. As a Christian, I believe in Colossians 1:27 which tells me that Christ is in me, the hope of glory. I also believe in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirt who is in me, whom I have from God, and that I am not my own.
If Jesus is in me, why in the heck would I stick toxins in my body? Why would I poison my creator and myself? Additionally, it would be hypocritical of me to have this as my reason for quitting and maintain a separate set of rules to stay quit. I have to honor God no matter the scenario. It's hard to stay obedient to that though, especially when the current of the river can be so strong. Luckily, I can always ignore that which hinders me.
Stay quit today, good people. Not to avoid the "shitnado" though because they will always be created for those who lust for them. Stay quit for something much more constant.
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Dipping w/ Jesus? - Carrying the Cross - Ultimate Accountability
1 Peter 4:1-5 says,
"So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin. 2 You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. 3 You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.
4 Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. 5 But remember that they will have to face God, who stands ready to judge everyone, both the living and the dead."
Turning away from dipping can be a struggle. For me, as a Christian, it wasn't about me. It was about honoring God and being obedient to Him. I won't lie, it was catalyzed by me getting caught by my wife in my ninja ways, however, this alone would not push me to quit and certainly would sustain my quit. If I was doing it for her, the moment she upset me, I'd dip again just in spite of her. The primary reasons all lead back to discipline and obedience to God.
I've shared in recent posts that, as a Christian, my body is a Holy temple and God dwells within it. Therefore, I feel it an obligation to begin ridding my body of toxins such as those found in dip. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing involved in dipping that serves to honor God for me. Next, scripture says, regarding my marriage, what God has brought together, let no man separate. Well... dipping has served as a point of division in my marriage and my idolization of it places me on the hot seat of creating separation in my own marriage. When God says "let no man separate" that certainly is including me.
With this (plus more) in consideration, I stepped away from Nic 31 days ago. The struggle that I've faced in the midst of this serves to honor God. It hasn't been easy. However, every time I have a crave, which is usually in the midst of stress, I remind myself that I have taken up the cross and am in this struggle to honor God. Shedding this idol is drawing me closer to God. The struggles faced as a Christian will be much greater than quitting Nic. This is really a small sacrifice compared to what I assume God has in store for me sacrificially. Just imagine what Jesus encountered. I won't run through it here. Go read the Gospels of John, Mark, Luke and Matthew to find that out. As you read them, you'll see that Jesus was presented with many stressful situations. I can only imagine being in his shoes (or sandals.) However, I couldn't imagine Jesus taking a step away from His stressful God-willed sacrificial life to throw in a dip. No, he was greater than this. When He was reaching His breaking point in the flesh, He retreated to a place alone and talked to His Father. He pleaded with His Father to end the pain, the burden. He didn't throw in a fat dip. He provided us an example of what to do when under stress.
As we turn away from dipping, it is possible that old friends might poke fun at us or tempt us. There is a strange "manliness" to daring to kill yourself slowly. There are a lot of strange things related to present day perceptions of masculinity, but that's for another post.
If you are Christian and you are quitting dip... you have a perfect example of who to follow during this journey (Jesus.) At the core of it with all the fog, moodiness, withdrawals, etc... you are fighting the flesh. Keep fighting the good fight and stick in there to honor God. Don't let the devil tempt you in the desert. It's not about your wife, your family, or even yourself... it's about God.
Some people do not want to step into this particular spiritual realm that we walk in. Remember that it is worth it though and there is an abundance of accountability and great wisdom to help you navigate this strange land void of Nic.
As I've been working to suppress my desires to chase this poison around, God's will for my life is being revealed more and more. For that, I'm thankful.
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Amen brother. My addiction drove me from God and I am working on fighting the mindset that drove me away. I have enjoyed reading your posts and am a bit jealous because I let the Devil us my addiction and a bad pastor to drive me from the church.
I am slowly working my way back into the light but overcoming the guilt is killing me. I stopped chewing for 3 days for lent 2 years ago and couldn't do it. I tried on my own and failed. Now I have a brotherhood of support and have started my journey with Christ again.
I am proud to quit with
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11
you today.
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Amen brother. My addiction drove me from God and I am working on fighting the mindset that drove me away. I have enjoyed reading your posts and am a bit jealous because I let the Devil us my addiction and a bad pastor to drive me from the church.
I am slowly working my way back into the light but overcoming the guilt is killing me. I stopped chewing for 3 days for lent 2 years ago and couldn't do it. I tried on my own and failed. Now I have a brotherhood of support and have started my journey with Christ again.
I am proud to quit with
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11
you today.
That's awesome, Wild!
I'm glad you are reconnecting with Him. I know how it is to be hurt by the church.
Man... I had a hard time reconciling all the fasting I was able to do, but I was dipping and drinking (to get drunk) through it all. It didn't make any sense at all. I can abstain from all this other stuff, but then put the poison in my mouth and liver.
I think that is absolutely amazing though that this process of purification has lead you back to your creator.
God bless you, brother! I quit with you in His name today.
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Money, Dipping, and the Christian Way
Jesus told His followers, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).
As a Christian, I am called to tithe 10% of my earnings to the church. We believe that the money we receive is not of our own, but it is a blessing from God. We are not giving OUR money away. We are giving back what God has provided to us, to the church, which is a part of the body of Christ. With this money, the church will handle the corporate approach to doing God's work.
How many times did I fail to tithe? Maybe an easier and less time-consuming question to answer would be, how many times was I actually obedient to this? To say the least, it was more the exception then the rule for me.
However... no matter how broke I was. No matter how broke my wife and I were, if the craving came about...I'd find the money to dip. I would go through hell and high water to come up with the treasure to store with my pimp. I never did the same to provide back to the Lord. I was honoring two Gods. However, I was giving preference to the Nic god. What a shame. However, I am a new man in many ways and have turned away from this idol.
Between quitting dip and quitting drinking (33 days and 26 days respectfully), I have saved a good amount of "my money." However, instead of seeing this as "saving my money" and then spending it on something else that really is not needed, I'm going to use this opportunity to restore it to it's proper place and take it as an opportunity to lead my family down the road of properly tithing.
This journey, once again, is bringing me closer to the Lord.
I quit today in His name.
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Money, Dipping, and the Christian Way
Jesus told His followers, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).
As a Christian, I am called to tithe 10% of my earnings to the church. We believe that the money we receive is not of our own, but it is a blessing from God. We are not giving OUR money away. We are giving back what God has provided to us, to the church, which is a part of the body of Christ. With this money, the church will handle the corporate approach to doing God's work.
How many times did I fail to tithe? Maybe an easier and less time-consuming question to answer would be, how many times was I actually obedient to this? To say the least, it was more the exception then the rule for me.
However... no matter how broke I was. No matter how broke my wife and I were, if the craving came about...I'd find the money to dip. I would go through hell and high water to come up with the treasure to store with my pimp. I never did the same to provide back to the Lord. I was honoring two Gods. However, I was giving preference to the Nic god. What a shame. However, I am a new man in many ways and have turned away from this idol.
Between quitting dip and quitting drinking (33 days and 26 days respectfully), I have saved a good amount of "my money." However, instead of seeing this as "saving my money" and then spending it on something else that really is not needed, I'm going to use this opportunity to restore it to it's proper place and take it as an opportunity to lead my family down the road of properly tithing.
This journey, once again, is bringing me closer to the Lord.
I quit today in His name.
Wow CIKI, I did not know you kicked alcohol and nicotene. Can't imagine the hell you have been through!! It is awesome to see other people walking closer to the lord through their quit. There is no way I would be where I'm at now considering where I was only 17 days ago without his help! He is truly an amazing God!
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Money, Dipping, and the Christian Way
Jesus told His followers, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).
As a Christian, I am called to tithe 10% of my earnings to the church. We believe that the money we receive is not of our own, but it is a blessing from God. We are not giving OUR money away. We are giving back what God has provided to us, to the church, which is a part of the body of Christ. With this money, the church will handle the corporate approach to doing God's work.
How many times did I fail to tithe? Maybe an easier and less time-consuming question to answer would be, how many times was I actually obedient to this? To say the least, it was more the exception then the rule for me.
However... no matter how broke I was. No matter how broke my wife and I were, if the craving came about...I'd find the money to dip. I would go through hell and high water to come up with the treasure to store with my pimp. I never did the same to provide back to the Lord. I was honoring two Gods. However, I was giving preference to the Nic god. What a shame. However, I am a new man in many ways and have turned away from this idol.
Between quitting dip and quitting drinking (33 days and 26 days respectfully), I have saved a good amount of "my money." However, instead of seeing this as "saving my money" and then spending it on something else that really is not needed, I'm going to use this opportunity to restore it to it's proper place and take it as an opportunity to lead my family down the road of properly tithing.
This journey, once again, is bringing me closer to the Lord.
I quit today in His name.
Wow CIKI, I did not know you kicked alcohol and nicotene. Can't imagine the hell you have been through!! It is awesome to see other people walking closer to the lord through their quit. There is no way I would be where I'm at now considering where I was only 17 days ago without his help! He is truly an amazing God!
Amen, brother....amen.
God is good all the time.
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Money, Dipping, and the Christian Way
Jesus told His followers, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).
As a Christian, I am called to tithe 10% of my earnings to the church. We believe that the money we receive is not of our own, but it is a blessing from God. We are not giving OUR money away. We are giving back what God has provided to us, to the church, which is a part of the body of Christ. With this money, the church will handle the corporate approach to doing God's work.
How many times did I fail to tithe? Maybe an easier and less time-consuming question to answer would be, how many times was I actually obedient to this? To say the least, it was more the exception then the rule for me.
However... no matter how broke I was. No matter how broke my wife and I were, if the craving came about...I'd find the money to dip. I would go through hell and high water to come up with the treasure to store with my pimp. I never did the same to provide back to the Lord. I was honoring two Gods. However, I was giving preference to the Nic god. What a shame. However, I am a new man in many ways and have turned away from this idol.
Between quitting dip and quitting drinking (33 days and 26 days respectfully), I have saved a good amount of "my money." However, instead of seeing this as "saving my money" and then spending it on something else that really is not needed, I'm going to use this opportunity to restore it to it's proper place and take it as an opportunity to lead my family down the road of properly tithing.
This journey, once again, is bringing me closer to the Lord.
I quit today in His name.
Wow CIKI, I did not know you kicked alcohol and nicotene. Can't imagine the hell you have been through!! It is awesome to see other people walking closer to the lord through their quit. There is no way I would be where I'm at now considering where I was only 17 days ago without his help! He is truly an amazing God!
Amen, brother....amen.
God is good all the time.
Surprisingly, it hasn't been too bad. There have been moments though.
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Navigating the Fog w/ Jesus - Day 35 Reflection
Mark 4:38-41 says,
38 Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”
39 When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. 40 Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
41 The disciples were absolutely terrified. “Who is this man?” they asked each other. “Even the wind and waves obey him!”
Quitting dip can be quite a storm. Especially in the early days. The nicotine withdrawal, mental adjustments, behavioral adjustments, social adjustments, etc... it can be a lot of moving pieces. We can feel like Jesus' disciples in the boat above. You will hear a lot of people talk about leaning on KTC, leaning on your quit group, leaning on vets, exchanging numbers, posting roll, engaging in forums, engaging in the chat room, etc... These are all good ideas. However, these people and this site alone are not reliable sources to sustain your quit.
I believe that if you are a Christian, your quit can't be just about your kids. It can't just be about your spouse or family. It can't be about your quit group. It can't just be about KTC even. It can't even just be about yourself. It can't even be just about yourself. Life is not all about YOU YOU YOU. Before, during and after this storm, the only reliable source to fully depend on is Jesus. Seek Him first, walk the narrow path, and then work out from there. You'll see that it will naturally flow to those other commitments. Nobody else can be fully relied upon, not even yourself. Only Him. Do this to honor your creator. You can fool others and you can even fool yourself, but you can't fool Him.
I respect a lot about the perspectives I get here in KTC. We have many "vets" who are more than willing to chime in and give good advice. I used quotations around vets because they are just as close to day #1 as the rest of us. However, my quit is not guided by the rules of this community or the advice I get from "vets." I respect the rules of KTC and many (if not most) are consistent with Christian values. I think we can find some parallels in many practices. However, I will be guided by principles that are biblically consistent as a Christian.
In just 35 days, I've seen "vets" turn into Day #1 over night. For years, I'm sure, the same approach has been taken. Someone caves and a storm is created for them to enter so that they learn their lesson and they are made an example of. It happens over and over... Yet.... people continue to cave. People give into their fleshly desires. As a Christian, it seems to me, that caving is just that, giving into your fleshly desires. Galatians 5:17 tells us that "the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please."
Therefore, the more that I am in the Spirit, the easier it will be for me to resist the desires of the flesh such as caving. With that being said, unless you give me advice that is intended on drawing me closer to the Holy Spirit, I will listen, but it won't stick very much. This is not out of disrespect for you. We simply have different guiding principles and I'm not interested in traveling your path.
I'm not afraid of caving. I'm not afraid about you or anybody else caving. I have faith in Jesus and am drawing closer to the Holy Spirit daily. THIS will sustain my cave if I am actively seeking God. Why? Because putting that garbage in my lip was doing nothing to advance my relationship with Him or carry out His will in my life. When someone caves or someone misses roll or posts late, I'm not going to worry that they are going to drown. If they are walking with Jesus, they'll learn to weather the storm with grace. I'm more concerned for you if you don't find Him, even if you've received a comma.
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First off, I don't know where to post this so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. Tuesday October 27, 2015 was my quit day. To help my quit, I've stopped drinking alcohol for the mean time (alcohol makes the temptations almost impossible to resist for me) and am just grinding it out.
One thing I have noticed immediately after quitting was that I've got a sore throat/lump in the back of my throat.. Is this normal? I went to the doctor today and got blood work done and was given a clean bill of health but figured I'd get yalls insight.
Finally, I am thrilled to have found a resource like this to help me quit. I'd bet that this forum has had a major impact so I'd also like to say THANK YOU for giving me a spot to help me quit and stick to quitting!!
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First off, I don't know where to post this so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. Tuesday October 27, 2015 was my quit day. To help my quit, I've stopped drinking alcohol for the mean time (alcohol makes the temptations almost impossible to resist for me) and am just grinding it out.
One thing I have noticed immediately after quitting was that I've got a sore throat/lump in the back of my throat.. Is this normal? I went to the doctor today and got blood work done and was given a clean bill of health but figured I'd get yalls insight.
Finally, I am thrilled to have found a resource like this to help me quit. I'd bet that this forum has had a major impact so I'd also like to say THANK YOU for giving me a spot to help me quit and stick to quitting!!
Hey Long Time Coming,
This is great to hear! Good choice. I am going to suggest that you post this to the February 2016 quit group. This would be the group you would be a part of.
I will be right back. I'll post the link in here for you.
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First off, I don't know where to post this so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. Tuesday October 27, 2015 was my quit day. To help my quit, I've stopped drinking alcohol for the mean time (alcohol makes the temptations almost impossible to resist for me) and am just grinding it out.
One thing I have noticed immediately after quitting was that I've got a sore throat/lump in the back of my throat.. Is this normal? I went to the doctor today and got blood work done and was given a clean bill of health but figured I'd get yalls insight.
Finally, I am thrilled to have found a resource like this to help me quit. I'd bet that this forum has had a major impact so I'd also like to say THANK YOU for giving me a spot to help me quit and stick to quitting!!
Hey Long Time Coming,
This is great to hear! Good choice. I am going to suggest that you post this to the February 2016 quit group. This would be the group you would be a part of.
I will be right back. I'll post the link in here for you.
Actually, I'm going to emai it to you as well because you might not see it here. Just in case though, here it is:
topic/11383298/35/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11383298/35/#new)
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First off, I don't know where to post this so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. Tuesday October 27, 2015 was my quit day. To help my quit, I've stopped drinking alcohol for the mean time (alcohol makes the temptations almost impossible to resist for me) and am just grinding it out.
One thing I have noticed immediately after quitting was that I've got a sore throat/lump in the back of my throat.. Is this normal? I went to the doctor today and got blood work done and was given a clean bill of health but figured I'd get yalls insight.
Finally, I am thrilled to have found a resource like this to help me quit. I'd bet that this forum has had a major impact so I'd also like to say THANK YOU for giving me a spot to help me quit and stick to quitting!!
Hey Long Time Coming,
This is great to hear! Good choice. I am going to suggest that you post this to the February 2016 quit group. This would be the group you would be a part of.
I will be right back. I'll post the link in here for you.
Actually, I'm going to emai it to you as well because you might not see it here. Just in case though, here it is:
topic/11383298/35/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11383298/35/#new)
Thanks!! Thats a huge help. Appreciate the quick help and assistance.
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First off, I don't know where to post this so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. Tuesday October 27, 2015 was my quit day. To help my quit, I've stopped drinking alcohol for the mean time (alcohol makes the temptations almost impossible to resist for me) and am just grinding it out.
One thing I have noticed immediately after quitting was that I've got a sore throat/lump in the back of my throat.. Is this normal? I went to the doctor today and got blood work done and was given a clean bill of health but figured I'd get yalls insight.
Finally, I am thrilled to have found a resource like this to help me quit. I'd bet that this forum has had a major impact so I'd also like to say THANK YOU for giving me a spot to help me quit and stick to quitting!!
Hey Long Time Coming,
This is great to hear! Good choice. I am going to suggest that you post this to the February 2016 quit group. This would be the group you would be a part of.
I will be right back. I'll post the link in here for you.
Actually, I'm going to emai it to you as well because you might not see it here. Just in case though, here it is:
topic/11383298/35/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11383298/35/#new)
Thanks!! Thats a huge help. Appreciate the quick help and assistance.
My pleasure...feel free to lean on me if ya need help.
U might wanna venture over to the live chat...there is always someone there to help
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Bringing Clarity to "the Fog" - Day 40 Reflection
Trying to understand what the hell "the fog" is and how to make it better can be confusing for many people. In my experience, it is more about being self-aware than anything. You don't have more fog during days 20-30, around HOF, or even right before your comma... I'm not convinced there is a timeline for all this. Sure, there is a estimated time that the nicotine actually is leaving your system and your body is ridding itself from a physical addiction. However, there are a variety of things to keep on your radar as you uncover the mental, emotional, and behavioral addictions. These aspects (and maybe other aspects) have quite a domino effect as you peel back the layers. Here are a few that I noticed about myself.
Fog at work - When I was dipping, I developed a habit of drinking a lot of water and eating more, smaller meals. I picked up the habit of drinking water often because I was usually dipping on my way to work. I always had water with me. The dipping dehydrated me a little and my body was continuously asking me to restore the fluid. Additionally, I developed the habit of eating throughout the day. Why? If I split up my lunch, this gave me more time during my actual lunch to step away and dip. Of course, I did more than just dip. I usually read scripture and/or talked to the Lord during that time. However, the dipping was primary. When I stopped dipping, I changed both of these habits. I would begin drinking more coffee, instead of water. I didn't feel the need to break up my meals to make room for dipping at lunch. Therefore, I notice that I've bee dehydrating myself and have created longer gaps between my meals. Due to the hunger and thirst, I would begin to lose concentration and enter into a certain fogginess... This was most prominent in the afternoon when the caffeine from the coffee was beginning to wear down and out.
I wish I could share more right now... I might add a little later...
However, I will say this... be in tune with your behaviors as you quit dip. What are you doing differently? Are you drinking more alcohol? Are you drinking more coffee? Are you eating more, less, or different? How's your water intake? Are you stepping away to clear your head like you used to do while dipping? Now that you can't run to dipping when stressed, what do you run to? If you don't run to anything, what impact is that having on you?
More to come...
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This is really good stuff, Ciki! REALLY good stuff. And for anyone else reading this, please do what Ciki is doing. You WILL acquire wisdom during your quit, and that wisdom is extremely valuable. PLEASE share it with others. We are quite literally are in the business of saving people's lives on this website. At 239 days quit, what Ciki wrote has given me something to think about and something that has strengthened my quit.
Thanks, Ciki! Quit with you!
- Invader
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Day 52 -- As the Honeymoon of KTC Fades...
Here I am on day #52... might as well be day #1 for all I care. We're all one hiccup away from day #1 anyway. I remember coming into this community. I was initially a little unsure and wasn't sure how to navigate it. However, I really appreciated the quickness in which some people were able to rope me in as if I were another brother of theirs. It felt good to connect with people who were bonded in a common struggle.
I caught on really quick and went to work to assist my cohort in establishing a sense of community. I worked with other guys to establish organization, communication, accountability, try to set a system of equitable duties, etc... that system is in place and it is working it's magic. I'm proud to say that I was a vital part in establishing it. There are many other newbies and vets who played important roles in that coming together.
However, over the last 50+ days as that organizational network came into formation, I've noticed something different about the brotherhood that I once enjoyed. I've observed just how shallow it can be at times. We are connected in that we are quit from Nic EDD and work on it ODAAT. However, that alone does not sustain a brotherhood and the community often enables a culture to persist that excludes some or at least makes it difficult for those "outsiders" to feel comfortable being here. It appears that some people have more loyalty for their hate than they do for this brotherhood. They just don't care. They have a right not to care. That's fine. What's most troubling is not so much the loud few who might rattle things that would chase some quitters away if they were gay or a woman or black or an immigrant or a Muslim or etc....it's the people who choose to remain silent. That's what is most deafening.... the silence... the enabling... Now this isn't some "PC police" rant as I can't really stand that stuff either. However, if we are in the business of actually helping support people to escape this can and kill it, you'd think more people would tell these loudmouths to shut up. Instead I've found that actually speaking out against it get's even more of a reaction out of people then the comments at first. People mobilize to defend it. The people who disagree, they stay silent.
It just reinforces the fact that we can not rely heavily on our family, our friends, or even this community... because the brotherhood can be shallow and can turn on you quickly... depending on what you believe in and where your convictions are outside of quitting dip.
That's why I continue to quit in honor of God. My God, Jesus Christ, sees all this foolishness and he sees the people who spread strife amongst others...he sees the prideful arrogance... he see the hurt people who hurt people... I don't quit for anybody else and I am not accountable to anybody else, not even in here... I am only accountable to Jesus.
This community has been helpful and I'm not going anywhere, but it certainly has it's limitations.
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Day 52 -- As the Honeymoon of KTC Fades...
Here I am on day #52... might as well be day #1 for all I care. We're all one hiccup away from day #1 anyway. I remember coming into this community. I was initially a little unsure and wasn't sure how to navigate it. However, I really appreciated the quickness in which some people were able to rope me in as if I were another brother of theirs. It felt good to connect with people who were bonded in a common struggle.
I caught on really quick and went to work to assist my cohort in establishing a sense of community. I worked with other guys to establish organization, communication, accountability, try to set a system of equitable duties, etc... that system is in place and it is working it's magic. I'm proud to say that I was a vital part in establishing it. There are many other newbies and vets who played important roles in that coming together.
However, over the last 50+ days as that organizational network came into formation, I've noticed something different about the brotherhood that I once enjoyed. I've observed just how shallow it can be at times. We are connected in that we are quit from Nic EDD and work on it ODAAT. However, that alone does not sustain a brotherhood and the community often enables a culture to persist that excludes some or at least makes it difficult for those "outsiders" to feel comfortable being here. It appears that some people have more loyalty for their hate than they do for this brotherhood. They just don't care. They have a right not to care. That's fine. What's most troubling is not so much the loud few who might rattle things that would chase some quitters away if they were gay or a woman or black or an immigrant or a Muslim or etc....it's the people who choose to remain silent. That's what is most deafening.... the silence... the enabling... Now this isn't some "PC police" rant as I can't really stand that stuff either. However, if we are in the business of actually helping support people to escape this can and kill it, you'd think more people would tell these loudmouths to shut up. Instead I've found that actually speaking out against it get's even more of a reaction out of people then the comments at first. People mobilize to defend it. The people who disagree, they stay silent.
It just reinforces the fact that we can not rely heavily on our family, our friends, or even this community... because the brotherhood can be shallow and can turn on you quickly... depending on what you believe in and where your convictions are outside of quitting dip.
That's why I continue to quit in honor of God. My God, Jesus Christ, sees all this foolishness and he sees the people who spread strife amongst others...he sees the prideful arrogance... he see the hurt people who hurt people... I don't quit for anybody else and I am not accountable to anybody else, not even in here... I am only accountable to Jesus.
This community has been helpful and I'm not going anywhere, but it certainly has it's limitations.
I'm sorry to hear this stuff CIKI. Let me start this post with saying that day 49-59 for me were a really tough stretch, to the point that I thought about post/ghosting and that be the extent of my involvement here. So I absolutely get what you're saying.
However, I think you're turning your back on what got you to where you are. I don't want this to turn into a religious debate. I, like you am God-fearing and put my faith and trust that He and His Son will save me in the end. However, my nicotine addiction has nothing to do with God. I didn't dip for Him, in spite of Him, or anything else. My nicotine addiction is centered in my animalistic selfish desire for pleasure, as is yours. God does not limit your ability to dip. You were given free will. You make the choice to If you aren't accountable to your brothers and sisters on this site, and they don't do the same for you, then this is just a very fancy calendar. When you were all piss and vinegar the first few weeks of your quit, it was great to see the fire that some of us have let wane during our quits.
That being said, this is your quit. I'm sure you've heard this before, but take what you need and leave the rest. That doesn't mean post and ghost, but it does mean you are well within your rights here to ignore some dickhead that wants nothing else than to mess with you. I, for one, rarely see that kind of thing. Oftentimes, it's coming from a good place disguised in dickheadishness to be funny, persuasive, etc.
I have come out of the day 49-59 "fuckits" a better quitter. I am more resolute than ever that I need to shove my addiction down nicotine's throat. I do it for me, first and foremost, and for my family next, but I could never have gotten it done without the people I've met on KTC. I still read hundreds if not a thousand posts a day because it reinforces all the reasons that I need and want to be quit.
You will do what is best for you CIKI, and you will absorb the material on KTC that you choose to absorb, but I would encourage you to open your mind a little to what is going on around here. It's not as doom and gloom as you might think, and it's certainly no reason to go into a shell where you only answer to God. He won't be posting on the forums today, and likely not tomorrow. We can hold each other accountable because we are all intimately familiar with nicotine addiction and its effects. As such, I can't thing of a better group of people to hold me accountable.
Just something to think about.
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Day 56 - Desires Within
James 4:1-2 tells us, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? DonÂ’t they come from your desires that battle within you?"
I got upset. I really didn't care for how some people would go off on rants in the KTC community from time to time. Whether in chat, forum, groupme, etc... I observed it with people in my quit group and people out of my quit group. Generalizations about other religions, comments with racial undertones, questioning another person's manhood or sexuality, the idea that foreign is bad, etc... Why does it upset me? It touches close to home. There is a lot of misplaced anger wrapped up in the comments. This misplaced anger impacts me and people who I love dearly. So... I stepped away from the level of engagement that I usually engaged in for about 3-4 days. I needed to remove myself from an environment that was triggering the same kind of stress that used to lead me to dipping. Imagine that... a community to help me quit dipping, is triggering me to dip. But is it really??? I know there is a deeper desire that is not being unmet inside of me.
With that being said though... maybe the comments coming from people making generalizations about groups of people are about their desires left unmet within them. After all, most of the things they say are not grounded in much logic or fact when you peel back the layers. They are usually grounded in a collection of anecdotal examples, lack of exposure, and misguided information. There is a reason why these people avoid thoroughly thinking their thoughts though. It could be stress that comes from simply thinking about the situation. Life is complex after all. It could be fear of what it would uncover about themselves. It could be shame in how they drank the Kool-Aid they drank. It could bring up bad childhood memories. After all, a lot of it starts in the family. There could be many reasons why people avoid dealing with the roots of their discomfort. There are many escapes to avoid it. Dip is was one of them.
Those of us in here started dipping for a variety of reasons. I would imagine that most of us did not start dipping because it comforted us. However, I would imagine that a large portion of us grew to find comfort in dipping and this helped sustain the addiction. We would get stressed out, so we would dip. We would get frustrated, we'd dip. We'd ................, we'd dip. We'd often use dip as an escape from our problems. What happens when we quit though? Does it make the root of the problems go away? Even if you find a healthy alternative like exercise. Does it go away?
It doesn't make the problem go away. It just helps you maintain while dealing with it. It's like a Band-Aid. The Band-Aid doesn't fix the problem that caused the cut. It just helps ease it. When we go off on tangents about different groups of people, it doesn't solve it either. It just gives that person temporary gratification and makes them feel like their testicles are large. It just plays into a paintjob we create for a car with a broken down engine.
There are usually desires that battle within us that create fights internally and externally with others. We run away in a lot of ways. I literally used to leave an argument and go straight to dip. It's good to quit dipping. It won't help you any. However, is dip really at the root of your problem or was it simply one of many escapes that you use? Are you using other groups of people to escape and displace your problems too?
I quit with you all today. Let's keep peeling back the layers though... dip is only the surface.
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Day 60 - Who are you quitting for?
From time to time, I can ruffle feathers in here. Why? If you ask me, it's because I speak my mind and don't really let the opinion of others bother me too much. I don't bow down to the "elders of KTC." I don't resist the current for the sake of resisting the current, but I actually assess the current and then decide if I want to jump in. That's pretty much it. Sometimes, with some ideas, I don't like to jump in the water because I don't like where it is flowing. I simply have respect for those who have respect for others and me. I don't care how old you are and how long you've been quit. I quit w/ you today... that's the point! ODAAT! As in life, I know a lot of older and experienced people who have no sense. If you have something constructive to contribute, contribute it. However, all too often we hear in here "good luck w/ that" or we're called a "know-it-all" for dissenting with a popular opinion (or simply a LOUDER opinion.)
Which brings me to my next reflection... who are you quitting for?
I'm sorry for those who might not understand this, but I don't quit for anyone in here. I don't quit for my family. I don't quit for my wife. I don't quit for my future children. I don't quit for myself. This life is more than about ME. I quit to restore my temple in honor of God who is in me. Some people may not understand that. That is okay. I am not trying to push it on anyone. However, whenever I bring it up... there are people who are going to reject the notion, passively and more overtly. They swear up and down that we should not quit for anyone or anything else, but ourselves. However, to me, this is very self-centered. It is not God-centered. It is not surprising to get this reaction though. I've been told time and time again there is a great cost associated with following Jesus. I will experience rejection and resistance. It does not bother me. It is expected and welcomed. After all, the birthing process can be painful... It is okay to not understand what I am saying. I don't take offense to the rejection and resistance. Why? Most who are resisting don't truly understand what it is that they are resisting. That's like me being upset that you don't like who YOU THINK I am. I can not be upset if you haven't truly met me and understand me. You are not rejecting me. You are rejecting your image of me. It's the same thing here. People reject what they don't understand. You don't just read the Christian bible and understand what I am saying. It's not about the understanding tickling your brain, it's about it piercing your heart and soul. Until it has, you really can not understand.
Next, I am not ultimately accountable to anyone in here. I am accountable to Jesus. This is often misinterpreted in here as if I don't support anyone. That is false. The truth is, I've made a commitment to Jesus to restore my temple because He dwells there. Again, this might be a level of accountability that is hard for some to understand. Why? Because they may not have a relationship with Christ or they know Him, but haven't truly followed Him, uncovering His will for their life. They just read the bible and/or go to church. It's okay if they don't understand. I'm not going to beat them over the head until they accept Him. That's not what God would want. If God wanted us all to be Christian, I believe Him to be powerful enough to snap His finger and make it happen. However, if He wanted this, He would have never allowed Adam and Eve to be disobedient in the garden. He wants us to come to Him. He doesn't want to have to pull us to Him.
A few people in here have rejected this and refuse to respect it as simply a difference. They say that there is the KTC way and this is not it. We quit for ourselves and only ourselves. Some people have a differing interpretation of free will than I do. They use the idea of free will to suggest that God has nothing to do with my quit. I disagree. We have differing perspectives.
God has everything to do with my existence and my quit. I quit in His name and am accountable to Him. Plain and simple. I will serve Him first and foremost. In serving Him, I'll help my brothers in here. However, understand that my reasoning... is very different from some of yours. I respect yours. Please respect mine.
I quit in His name today.
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Day 60 - Who are you quitting for?
From time to time, I can ruffle feathers in here. Why? If you ask me, it's because I speak my mind and don't really let the opinion of others bother me too much. I don't bow down to the "elders of KTC." I don't resist the current for the sake of resisting the current, but I actually assess the current and then decide if I want to jump in. That's pretty much it. Sometimes, with some ideas, I don't like to jump in the water because I don't like where it is flowing. I simply have respect for those who have respect for others and me. I don't care how old you are and how long you've been quit. I quit w/ you today... that's the point! ODAAT! As in life, I know a lot of older and experienced people who have no sense. If you have something constructive to contribute, contribute it. However, all too often we hear in here "good luck w/ that" or we're called a "know-it-all" for dissenting with a popular opinion (or simply a LOUDER opinion.)
Which brings me to my next reflection... who are you quitting for?
I'm sorry for those who might not understand this, but I don't quit for anyone in here. I don't quit for my family. I don't quit for my wife. I don't quit for my future children. I don't quit for myself. This life is more than about ME. I quit to restore my temple in honor of God who is in me. Some people may not understand that. That is okay. I am not trying to push it on anyone. However, whenever I bring it up... there are people who are going to reject the notion, passively and more overtly. They swear up and down that we should not quit for anyone or anything else, but ourselves. However, to me, this is very self-centered. It is not God-centered. It is not surprising to get this reaction though. I've been told time and time again there is a great cost associated with following Jesus. I will experience rejection and resistance. It does not bother me. It is expected and welcomed. After all, the birthing process can be painful... It is okay to not understand what I am saying. I don't take offense to the rejection and resistance. Why? Most who are resisting don't truly understand what it is that they are resisting. That's like me being upset that you don't like who YOU THINK I am. I can not be upset if you haven't truly met me and understand me. You are not rejecting me. You are rejecting your image of me. It's the same thing here. People reject what they don't understand. You don't just read the Christian bible and understand what I am saying. It's not about the understanding tickling your brain, it's about it piercing your heart and soul. Until it has, you really can not understand.
Next, I am not ultimately accountable to anyone in here. I am accountable to Jesus. This is often misinterpreted in here as if I don't support anyone. That is false. The truth is, I've made a commitment to Jesus to restore my temple because He dwells there. Again, this might be a level of accountability that is hard for some to understand. Why? Because they may not have a relationship with Christ or they know Him, but haven't truly followed Him, uncovering His will for their life. They just read the bible and/or go to church. It's okay if they don't understand. I'm not going to beat them over the head until they accept Him. That's not what God would want. If God wanted us all to be Christian, I believe Him to be powerful enough to snap His finger and make it happen. However, if He wanted this, He would have never allowed Adam and Eve to be disobedient in the garden. He wants us to come to Him. He doesn't want to have to pull us to Him.
A few people in here have rejected this and refuse to respect it as simply a difference. They say that there is the KTC way and this is not it. We quit for ourselves and only ourselves. Some people have a differing interpretation of free will than I do. They use the idea of free will to suggest that God has nothing to do with my quit. I disagree. We have differing perspectives.
God has everything to do with my existence and my quit. I quit in His name and am accountable to Him. Plain and simple. I will serve Him first and foremost. In serving Him, I'll help my brothers in here. However, understand that my reasoning... is very different from some of yours. I respect yours. Please respect mine.
I quit in His name today.
Hi CIKI. Nice post. You know, ruffling feathers is ok. Constant change is the only path to constant improvement. Change Ruffles feathers. Bring it on.
Religion and addiction are interesting bedfellows. I finally came to the conclusion that I am quitting for me. I'm very active on the intros and feel like that time benefits others - but also me. Jesus is important in my life, but I believe there are plenty of tobacco farmers and Phillip Morris employees that are believers too. The decisions we make seal our fate. We own what we choose to do, be it good or bad.
I'm proud to quit with you today sir. You have some great days ahead.
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Day 60 - Who are you quitting for?
From time to time, I can ruffle feathers in here. Why? If you ask me, it's because I speak my mind and don't really let the opinion of others bother me too much. I don't bow down to the "elders of KTC." I don't resist the current for the sake of resisting the current, but I actually assess the current and then decide if I want to jump in. That's pretty much it. Sometimes, with some ideas, I don't like to jump in the water because I don't like where it is flowing. I simply have respect for those who have respect for others and me. I don't care how old you are and how long you've been quit. I quit w/ you today... that's the point! ODAAT! As in life, I know a lot of older and experienced people who have no sense. If you have something constructive to contribute, contribute it. However, all too often we hear in here "good luck w/ that" or we're called a "know-it-all" for dissenting with a popular opinion (or simply a LOUDER opinion.)
Which brings me to my next reflection... who are you quitting for?
I'm sorry for those who might not understand this, but I don't quit for anyone in here. I don't quit for my family. I don't quit for my wife. I don't quit for my future children. I don't quit for myself. This life is more than about ME. I quit to restore my temple in honor of God who is in me. Some people may not understand that. That is okay. I am not trying to push it on anyone. However, whenever I bring it up... there are people who are going to reject the notion, passively and more overtly. They swear up and down that we should not quit for anyone or anything else, but ourselves. However, to me, this is very self-centered. It is not God-centered. It is not surprising to get this reaction though. I've been told time and time again there is a great cost associated with following Jesus. I will experience rejection and resistance. It does not bother me. It is expected and welcomed. After all, the birthing process can be painful... It is okay to not understand what I am saying. I don't take offense to the rejection and resistance. Why? Most who are resisting don't truly understand what it is that they are resisting. That's like me being upset that you don't like who YOU THINK I am. I can not be upset if you haven't truly met me and understand me. You are not rejecting me. You are rejecting your image of me. It's the same thing here. People reject what they don't understand. You don't just read the Christian bible and understand what I am saying. It's not about the understanding tickling your brain, it's about it piercing your heart and soul. Until it has, you really can not understand.
Next, I am not ultimately accountable to anyone in here. I am accountable to Jesus. This is often misinterpreted in here as if I don't support anyone. That is false. The truth is, I've made a commitment to Jesus to restore my temple because He dwells there. Again, this might be a level of accountability that is hard for some to understand. Why? Because they may not have a relationship with Christ or they know Him, but haven't truly followed Him, uncovering His will for their life. They just read the bible and/or go to church. It's okay if they don't understand. I'm not going to beat them over the head until they accept Him. That's not what God would want. If God wanted us all to be Christian, I believe Him to be powerful enough to snap His finger and make it happen. However, if He wanted this, He would have never allowed Adam and Eve to be disobedient in the garden. He wants us to come to Him. He doesn't want to have to pull us to Him.
A few people in here have rejected this and refuse to respect it as simply a difference. They say that there is the KTC way and this is not it. We quit for ourselves and only ourselves. Some people have a differing interpretation of free will than I do. They use the idea of free will to suggest that God has nothing to do with my quit. I disagree. We have differing perspectives.
God has everything to do with my existence and my quit. I quit in His name and am accountable to Him. Plain and simple. I will serve Him first and foremost. In serving Him, I'll help my brothers in here. However, understand that my reasoning... is very different from some of yours. I respect yours. Please respect mine.
I quit in His name today.
Hi CIKI. Nice post. You know, ruffling feathers is ok. Constant change is the only path to constant improvement. Change Ruffles feathers. Bring it on.
Religion and addiction are interesting bedfellows. I finally came to the conclusion that I am quitting for me. I'm very active on the intros and feel like that time benefits others - but also me. Jesus is important in my life, but I believe there are plenty of tobacco farmers and Phillip Morris employees that are believers too. The decisions we make seal our fate. We own what we choose to do, be it good or bad.
I'm proud to quit with you today sir. You have some great days ahead.
I respect your decision to quit for you. That is your journey brother.
Mine might be a little different and a little the same. I'm okay with that and quit with you.
Not judging your tobacco farming friends. It is not my job to do so.
Quit w/ you today. As usual, I appreciate your comments and support.
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Day 62 - Thanksgiving, Jesus, and KTC
I've been reading through a study guide/devotional on Paul's Letter to the Ephesians. Parallel to while I've been reading through this, I've had some conflict with a small, handful of KTC vets about my approach to quitting here in KTC. A few people feel like I'm trying to change the KTC way. Today, as I was reading the devotional, there was something that I read that I believe helps connect the dots fairly concisely. Here is what I read,
"I've met many Christians who hesitate to share their faith because they don't understand the power they possess in Christ. They think they need to lead people to Christ in their own strength, their own wisdom -- and they feel inadequate to the task. And they are! No one can lead anyone to Christ in their own strength. Let's stop trying to do God's job. Let's simply be obedient to do what God called us to do, and then let God energize our witness with his Spirit, his power, his dunamis."
Now this excerpt is talking about how we cannot bring people to Christ simply by our own power. It is not suggesting that we don't try or that we don't connect to a community that will help us do God's work. However, it is saying that ultimately, we need to lean on the Lord in order to carry out this mission. He and He alone will guide us. He may use other's as vessels, but all honor and glory are to Him. We can not do this on our own strength. This is God's job. However, we do have to do work as well. However, in simply being obedient and recognizing God's power, He will empower us to do His will. He will give us the tools we need to carry out His work. He, in and of Himself, is not a tool to be used. He is the one who creates and provides the tools to be used. He is first.
This is exactly what I am saying about not being ultimately accountable to the KTC community and not doing this just for myself or by myself. Ultimately, I am accountable to God and ultimately, He is my strength in my quit. All else bows to and is second to Him. Does it mean that I don't find value in the KTC community? No. It does not mean this. Just as I don't take the above truth as an excuse to disconnect from the body of Christ (ie. the worldly church.)
I am ultimately leaning on the Lord. I am ultimately accountable to Him. I quit to honor God by restoring my temple. That is first and foremost for me. This isn't a zero-sum game though. Just because I put God first, doesn't mean that I don't find any value in other things. However, my cornerstone for my quit cannot be this community or the people within it. It/they are valuable and I appreciate (and contribute to) them very much. However, they are not the reason that sustains my quit. We are with fault and should not try to expect to be a rock for someone. We can assist and support though. Some people have a hard time hearing that for some reason. Some people then frame my perspective as if it is God v. KTC. This is unfortunate. Why? In my mind, there is no such "match-up." KTC would not exist if it weren't for God. He is first. That is all I've said.
I am thankful for KTC and the many people who have created this community. I am happy to be a part of its continuance as well. I've reached out personally some time ago to a few people who started this and thanked them for doing just that. This isn't CIKI v. "the vets" and this surely isn't God v. KTC. There are a few people who do not understand what I mean. There are a few people who do understand, but simply disagree. I am fine with both. Despite the spin doctors perspectives, I don't believe in "my way or the highway." The real issue is that I won't follow "their way or the highway." If you don't understand something I am saying, just ask me. If you do understand, but disagree, keep doing it your own way. Me providing one of many Christian perspectives on how to quit Nic will do nothing, but enrich this community. Why? Because I am standing firm on God's word. It cannot fail. It just can't.
I am thankful for you all. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am excited about the time between now and Christmas as we commemorate the arrival of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ in human form. It's the most, wonderful time of the year!
God bless you all.
Ephesians 1:22-23 -- "And God placed all things under His feet and appointed Him to be head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills everything in every way."
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One thing I may add God gives people the knowledge to heal, create, preach,etc. My thinking is and this is my opinion I honestly feel that God definitely helped to build ktc to save countless life's. I will also like to add if you feel that strong in your beliefs maybe you should consider going into ministry. I'm not against I'm just trying to help, because when I was early in my quit someone or I should say several people saved my hardheaded ass from disaster! Quit on!
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One thing I may add God gives people the knowledge to heal, create, preach,etc. My thinking is and this is my opinion I honestly feel that God definitely helped to build ktc to save countless life's. I will also like to add if you feel that strong in your beliefs maybe you should consider going into ministry. I'm not against I'm just trying to help, because when I was early in my quit someone or I should say several people saved my hardheaded ass from disaster! Quit on!
Pab,
I do want you to know that I do like you. I appreciate your support. I don't have an issue with you. I quit with you today. I just had an issue with that particular situation...not your character.
I almost quit my current occupation to go into ministry full-time. In considering that, I consulted with a few spiritual fathers. They opened my eyes to the idea that I can minister in my current profession. It made sense. We need Christian ministers in Higher Ed. A lot of youth sway from God when they step into college. Their is definitely a counter-culture to Christ in some ways. Maybe not intentionally always, but...there nonetheless.
I think KTC does God's work for sure.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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Day 67 - Who Am I Ultimately Accountable To?
I was having a good conversation with a vet in here. I appreciated him raising this issue. I started to respond to him, but thought it might be even better to post this for others to see because he raised an issue that is not his alone.
There are a few people who believe that I think that I am only accountable to myself and God as it relates to my quit. As IÂ’ve said before, Turning away from dipping can be a struggle. For me as a Christian, it wasn't about me. It was about honoring God and being obedient to Him." (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9388791&t=11345303) People are putting their own spin/interpretation to words like that though. I understand that is going to happen. No one has really asked me to expand on much of it though. They have taken the time to attempt to expand on it for me and have misled themselves in the process. Most (which is a small group) talk indirectly about it or passive aggressively about it when they are angry at me. Sometimes, I stumble and get sucked into that back-and-forth garbage. Well today, a vet was the first person to bring it up to me more directly and specifically. I appreciate that. I don't mean for this to sound confrontational (because itÂ’s not), but I never said that I was ONLY accountable to myself and God. I donÂ’t recall talking about being accountable ONLY to myself. However, I did say (and stand by the notion) I am ULTIMATELY (not exclusively) accountable to God. Somehow people have interpreted that as if I think I am better than others (including other Christians) or that I donÂ’t need them or I donÂ’t support them. In actuality, I am simply submitting to God. I am putting Him first and above all. IÂ’m willing to take what comes with that.
Basically, I believe that we should lean MOSTLY (not exclusively) on a more reliable source and for me, that is God. It doesn't mean that KTC is bad or not useful. It is just acknowledging the limitations of being dependent on man. We are with fault and should not be anyoneÂ’s cornerstone. We can be shallow, prideful, and selfish at times. It's like my commitment to my church. God is ultimately my judge. Does that mean that I am in no way accountable to the body of Christ (my church and other Christians)? Absolutely not. However, I am ultimately accountable to God. The difference in the example of my church and KTC is that my church, ideally, is guided by God's word. My church is a group of people who are followers of Christ. They are more in alignment with my core responsibilities, values, beliefs that are grounded in being a follower of Christ. I am ultimately in existence to be a disciple of Christ and follow Him. Therefore, in the hypothetical case where my church is deviating from God's word, I will actually catch it and dissent. Why? Because I am ULTIMATELY guided and accountable to God's word and not the word of my church. I will always cross reference what I am being told with GodÂ’s word. My church is valuable as KTC is valuable. However, I am ultimately (not exclusively) accountable to God and His word.
At the end of the day, KTC does God’s work in many ways. I appreciate that. That is why I am here and contribute to maintaining and building this community. Additionally, it has been a great tool in helping me follow Christ more authentically. One way it has done this is that It has helped me “restore my temple.” Another way it has done this is by pushing me to be a better steward of the money, resources, and time that God has blessed me with (otherwise spent on dipping.) However, at one time, considering this community’s connect to my walk with Christ was an afterthought rather than a forethought. As a follower of Christ, I’m not supposed to follow KTC ways and then use my faith as a “lens to understand” what we do here. I am called to follow Christ and have that guide my actions and understanding of KTC. You see, it’s a fundamental difference in alignment. God is not the tool, KTC is.
Early on in my quit here, I’ve had to actually check myself and say, “Hey, you are being more disciplined about this quit then you are to the Lord on a daily basis. That needs to be realigned. He should come first. Make the change.” You’ll see this realignment reflected in my intro/journal. God didn’t REPLACE the community, but had to come before it.
HereÂ’s a fundamental difference between myself, as a follower of Christ, and those in here who are not. This is not a better/worse comparison, but a simple difference.
Some have said my Christian faith is one of many useful tools to quit. I respect the opinion. However, it is fundamentally off key from what I believe. My belief is not about religion. My belief is that I am a follower of Christ, not a “religious person.” With that being said, following Christ is not a tool used to quit chewing tobacco.
In fact, KTC is actually the tool. It is one of many tools that I’ve been blessed with that has strengthened my resolve in being a follower of Christ. It has been an amazing journey thus far and will continue to be. I don’t come here to “push my beliefs” on anyone, but when I’m asked how my quit is doing or what has worked for me or what I am struggling with… it will be intimately tied to my journey of being a better follower of Christ, he who I am ultimately accountable to. That is what this is all about for me. Quitting dip is only one of many sinful desires that I have and continue to shed to be a better follower.
I have each and everybodyÂ’s back in here. My actions have shown that more than anything i could say. This isnÂ’t you v. God, but he will always be first and foremost to me.
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Day 74 - Living Life, but Staying Diligent
Life has been throwing me curve balls left and right lately. I've had numerous moments where I am stressed and this is when I would normally turn to dip. Don't get me wrong, I'm not Chicken Little, the sky is not falling. I've just had some circumstances to navigate lately. Nonetheless, in these moments, as a follower of Christ, I am frequently reminded of what Jesus did in these moments and replicate that. He stepped away and turned to His father for guidance. Therefore, I spend a lot of time during moments of stress and anxiety in my prayer room. The way that I used to respond to stress and anxiety helped maintain my addiction, it added a habitual layer to my physical addiction. Feeling stressed? Got dip?
Now.... I pray, I read the word, listen to worship music, read different study guides (latest is on Ephesians), or sometimes I just sit in silence and listen to God. This is how I am supposed to be aligned as a follower of Christ. I am supposed to seek God first in these moments. I was seeking Nic though. That is why I've uncovered it as a form of idolatry for me.
I don't have craves much at all anymore. I think about dip, but honestly, it doesn't really stick much. There are times that I have cave dreams and wake up momentarily thinking that I caved. Other than that, I've been so much focused on being a better follower of Christ that I've been quite on point. However, by posting roll, I still remind myself every morning that the temptations of the devil are lurking. I acknowledge this by posting a 24 hour commitment. This is one of many things that I do in the morning to reaffirm my commitment to God. Now... I just have start working out instead of just thinking about it...
Life is good. God is good.
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Happy Birthday! Enjoy your first of many to come without tobacco! From your post above, your regaining your freedom and controlling temptation. That is awesome.
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Happy Birthday! Enjoy your first of many to come without tobacco! From your post above, your regaining your freedom and controlling temptation. That is awesome.
Times 2!
Happy birthday man, and keep up the great work!
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Day 28 - Caving - Spreading Strife Among Brothers Sisters
I was in chat in recent days and had a good conversation with a brother in quit. We were in disagreement about what someone said recently in the forum. I had expressed discontent with a moment of venting that someone had. I felt that their outburst in the forum created discord and was uncalled for. In the midst of our disagreement, this brother expressed to me that he hadn't liked me for a while, ever since I spun his words out of context. I asked him what it was regarding. He retrieved the post and sent the link. I read it and I agreed, I was a jerk. I basically translated a heart to heart this brother was having with a new quitter by saying, "fuck yourself and jump in the water." I didn't mean this in a bad way. I was basically saying that this brother needs to get real with himself and ditch the dip right here, right now. This is not my normal approach in life. It is not me. I was new to KTC and quickly got swept into the river of militancy that some cultivate around here. It was in my control though whether I wanted to jump in the river with them so I take blame. I did in this moment and it was a bad idea. I apologized to my brother for trying to pull him in the river as well. It was stupid of me.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
1) Haughty eyes, (Haughty means "arrogantly superior")
2) A lying tongue,
3) And hands that shed innocent blood,
4) A heart that devises wicked plans,
5) Feet that run rapidly to evil,
6) A false witness who utters lies,
7) And one who spreads strife among brothers.
We have rules here in KTC. However, sometimes, how some people apply them go directly against what I am called to do as a Christian. I can't participate in the same way. This doesn't mean that I have to maintain a gentle hand with everything, void of accountability. However, I see a variety of things unfold in moments when a reluctant quitter steps in and/or a caver reenters the world of KTC.
Some in KTC carry haughty eyes with them as that number to the right of their handle increases. However, as we've seen from even the post that my fellow DOG, FWLPLAY shared today, you can be on day #900 one day and day #1 on the next.
Also, lying tongues fly around and false witnesses come out of the woodwork in the forums when holding cavers accountable. People come in to stir the pot so that someone can "feel the burn" of reentering KTC after caving on yourself and brothers/sisters. I have come to see people stretch the truth in order to bring shock and attention to someone's failure to uphold their oath.
Certainly, wicked plans are devised once a caver steps back in. Backdoor conversations start and "shitnados" are planned.
Of course, once the "shitnado" starts... many feet run rapidly to the evil, jump in, and contribute to the fire that was started. Some from people who don't do anything else, but post roll.
Most noticeably, what happens is that people intentionally spread strife among brothers/sisters because it "brings that group together." Well... it doesn't really work and this has been proven time and time again. It only works temporarily. If a group's bonding is dependent on an "outside threat", then it will have to seek (and often create) an "outside threat" regularly in order to stay bonded. Otherwise, that group won't be consistently bonded. That is not a solid foundation. It is a foundation built on strife. Let's think about that.
I'm not perfect. As I mentioned, I've played into this myself. I've contributed to it in just 28 days in this community.
Yes, we have rules here. However, my primary rule book is God's word and my primary reason for this quit has to do with my faith in Jesus and devotion to God. As a Christian, I believe in Colossians 1:27 which tells me that Christ is in me, the hope of glory. I also believe in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirt who is in me, whom I have from God, and that I am not my own.
If Jesus is in me, why in the heck would I stick toxins in my body? Why would I poison my creator and myself? Additionally, it would be hypocritical of me to have this as my reason for quitting and maintain a separate set of rules to stay quit. I have to honor God no matter the scenario. It's hard to stay obedient to that though, especially when the current of the river can be so strong. Luckily, I can always ignore that which hinders me.
Stay quit today, good people. Not to avoid the "shitnado" though because they will always be created for those who lust for them. Stay quit for something much more constant.
Glad I ran into this post, I needed to read it to see where I've been wrong!
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Day 28 - Caving - Spreading Strife Among Brothers Sisters
I was in chat in recent days and had a good conversation with a brother in quit. We were in disagreement about what someone said recently in the forum. I had expressed discontent with a moment of venting that someone had. I felt that their outburst in the forum created discord and was uncalled for. In the midst of our disagreement, this brother expressed to me that he hadn't liked me for a while, ever since I spun his words out of context. I asked him what it was regarding. He retrieved the post and sent the link. I read it and I agreed, I was a jerk. I basically translated a heart to heart this brother was having with a new quitter by saying, "fuck yourself and jump in the water." I didn't mean this in a bad way. I was basically saying that this brother needs to get real with himself and ditch the dip right here, right now. This is not my normal approach in life. It is not me. I was new to KTC and quickly got swept into the river of militancy that some cultivate around here. It was in my control though whether I wanted to jump in the river with them so I take blame. I did in this moment and it was a bad idea. I apologized to my brother for trying to pull him in the river as well. It was stupid of me.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
1) Haughty eyes, (Haughty means "arrogantly superior")
2) A lying tongue,
3) And hands that shed innocent blood,
4) A heart that devises wicked plans,
5) Feet that run rapidly to evil,
6) A false witness who utters lies,
7) And one who spreads strife among brothers.
We have rules here in KTC. However, sometimes, how some people apply them go directly against what I am called to do as a Christian. I can't participate in the same way. This doesn't mean that I have to maintain a gentle hand with everything, void of accountability. However, I see a variety of things unfold in moments when a reluctant quitter steps in and/or a caver reenters the world of KTC.
Some in KTC carry haughty eyes with them as that number to the right of their handle increases. However, as we've seen from even the post that my fellow DOG, FWLPLAY shared today, you can be on day #900 one day and day #1 on the next.
Also, lying tongues fly around and false witnesses come out of the woodwork in the forums when holding cavers accountable. People come in to stir the pot so that someone can "feel the burn" of reentering KTC after caving on yourself and brothers/sisters. I have come to see people stretch the truth in order to bring shock and attention to someone's failure to uphold their oath.
Certainly, wicked plans are devised once a caver steps back in. Backdoor conversations start and "shitnados" are planned.
Of course, once the "shitnado" starts... many feet run rapidly to the evil, jump in, and contribute to the fire that was started. Some from people who don't do anything else, but post roll.
Most noticeably, what happens is that people intentionally spread strife among brothers/sisters because it "brings that group together." Well... it doesn't really work and this has been proven time and time again. It only works temporarily. If a group's bonding is dependent on an "outside threat", then it will have to seek (and often create) an "outside threat" regularly in order to stay bonded. Otherwise, that group won't be consistently bonded. That is not a solid foundation. It is a foundation built on strife. Let's think about that.
I'm not perfect. As I mentioned, I've played into this myself. I've contributed to it in just 28 days in this community.
Yes, we have rules here. However, my primary rule book is God's word and my primary reason for this quit has to do with my faith in Jesus and devotion to God. As a Christian, I believe in Colossians 1:27 which tells me that Christ is in me, the hope of glory. I also believe in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirt who is in me, whom I have from God, and that I am not my own.
If Jesus is in me, why in the heck would I stick toxins in my body? Why would I poison my creator and myself? Additionally, it would be hypocritical of me to have this as my reason for quitting and maintain a separate set of rules to stay quit. I have to honor God no matter the scenario. It's hard to stay obedient to that though, especially when the current of the river can be so strong. Luckily, I can always ignore that which hinders me.
Stay quit today, good people. Not to avoid the "shitnado" though because they will always be created for those who lust for them. Stay quit for something much more constant.
Glad I ran into this post, I needed to read it to see where I've been wrong!
Sorry my friend but how does one curse in the same sentence he uses the Lord's name? Come on now, let's get this right, if you gonna preach try to leave cursing out. I've never been to any Church where the preacher cursed while bringing his "sermon". Not trying to make you upset, just thought maybe you wasn't realizing you were doing that. Preach on
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Day 28 - Caving - Spreading Strife Among Brothers Sisters
I was in chat in recent days and had a good conversation with a brother in quit. We were in disagreement about what someone said recently in the forum. I had expressed discontent with a moment of venting that someone had. I felt that their outburst in the forum created discord and was uncalled for. In the midst of our disagreement, this brother expressed to me that he hadn't liked me for a while, ever since I spun his words out of context. I asked him what it was regarding. He retrieved the post and sent the link. I read it and I agreed, I was a jerk. I basically translated a heart to heart this brother was having with a new quitter by saying, "fuck yourself and jump in the water." I didn't mean this in a bad way. I was basically saying that this brother needs to get real with himself and ditch the dip right here, right now. This is not my normal approach in life. It is not me. I was new to KTC and quickly got swept into the river of militancy that some cultivate around here. It was in my control though whether I wanted to jump in the river with them so I take blame. I did in this moment and it was a bad idea. I apologized to my brother for trying to pull him in the river as well. It was stupid of me.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
1) Haughty eyes, (Haughty means "arrogantly superior")
2) A lying tongue,
3) And hands that shed innocent blood,
4) A heart that devises wicked plans,
5) Feet that run rapidly to evil,
6) A false witness who utters lies,
7) And one who spreads strife among brothers.
We have rules here in KTC. However, sometimes, how some people apply them go directly against what I am called to do as a Christian. I can't participate in the same way. This doesn't mean that I have to maintain a gentle hand with everything, void of accountability. However, I see a variety of things unfold in moments when a reluctant quitter steps in and/or a caver reenters the world of KTC.
Some in KTC carry haughty eyes with them as that number to the right of their handle increases. However, as we've seen from even the post that my fellow DOG, FWLPLAY shared today, you can be on day #900 one day and day #1 on the next.
Also, lying tongues fly around and false witnesses come out of the woodwork in the forums when holding cavers accountable. People come in to stir the pot so that someone can "feel the burn" of reentering KTC after caving on yourself and brothers/sisters. I have come to see people stretch the truth in order to bring shock and attention to someone's failure to uphold their oath.
Certainly, wicked plans are devised once a caver steps back in. Backdoor conversations start and "shitnados" are planned.
Of course, once the "shitnado" starts... many feet run rapidly to the evil, jump in, and contribute to the fire that was started. Some from people who don't do anything else, but post roll.
Most noticeably, what happens is that people intentionally spread strife among brothers/sisters because it "brings that group together." Well... it doesn't really work and this has been proven time and time again. It only works temporarily. If a group's bonding is dependent on an "outside threat", then it will have to seek (and often create) an "outside threat" regularly in order to stay bonded. Otherwise, that group won't be consistently bonded. That is not a solid foundation. It is a foundation built on strife. Let's think about that.
I'm not perfect. As I mentioned, I've played into this myself. I've contributed to it in just 28 days in this community.
Yes, we have rules here. However, my primary rule book is God's word and my primary reason for this quit has to do with my faith in Jesus and devotion to God. As a Christian, I believe in Colossians 1:27 which tells me that Christ is in me, the hope of glory. I also believe in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirt who is in me, whom I have from God, and that I am not my own.
If Jesus is in me, why in the heck would I stick toxins in my body? Why would I poison my creator and myself? Additionally, it would be hypocritical of me to have this as my reason for quitting and maintain a separate set of rules to stay quit. I have to honor God no matter the scenario. It's hard to stay obedient to that though, especially when the current of the river can be so strong. Luckily, I can always ignore that which hinders me.
Stay quit today, good people. Not to avoid the "shitnado" though because they will always be created for those who lust for them. Stay quit for something much more constant.
Glad I ran into this post, I needed to read it to see where I've been wrong!
Sorry my friend but how does one curse in the same sentence he uses the Lord's name? Come on now, let's get this right, if you gonna preach try to leave cursing out. I've never been to any Church where the preacher cursed while bringing his "sermon". Not trying to make you upset, just thought maybe you wasn't realizing you were doing that. Preach on
Pab,
Are you referring to when I was confessing what I said prior? (ie. fuck yourself and jump in the river.")
Or were you referring to when I quoted the use of the term "shitnado?"
In Matthew 5:22 it says the following:
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,' is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
"Raca" is a pejorative term used. Jesus himself used the term in his sermon on the mount to articulate this point. It's all in the context that it is used.
In this case, I was simply reciting what I said and confessing that it was wrong.
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Day 28 - Caving - Spreading Strife Among Brothers Sisters
I was in chat in recent days and had a good conversation with a brother in quit. We were in disagreement about what someone said recently in the forum. I had expressed discontent with a moment of venting that someone had. I felt that their outburst in the forum created discord and was uncalled for. In the midst of our disagreement, this brother expressed to me that he hadn't liked me for a while, ever since I spun his words out of context. I asked him what it was regarding. He retrieved the post and sent the link. I read it and I agreed, I was a jerk. I basically translated a heart to heart this brother was having with a new quitter by saying, "fuck yourself and jump in the water." I didn't mean this in a bad way. I was basically saying that this brother needs to get real with himself and ditch the dip right here, right now. This is not my normal approach in life. It is not me. I was new to KTC and quickly got swept into the river of militancy that some cultivate around here. It was in my control though whether I wanted to jump in the river with them so I take blame. I did in this moment and it was a bad idea. I apologized to my brother for trying to pull him in the river as well. It was stupid of me.
Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
1) Haughty eyes, (Haughty means "arrogantly superior")
2) A lying tongue,
3) And hands that shed innocent blood,
4) A heart that devises wicked plans,
5) Feet that run rapidly to evil,
6) A false witness who utters lies,
7) And one who spreads strife among brothers.
We have rules here in KTC. However, sometimes, how some people apply them go directly against what I am called to do as a Christian. I can't participate in the same way. This doesn't mean that I have to maintain a gentle hand with everything, void of accountability. However, I see a variety of things unfold in moments when a reluctant quitter steps in and/or a caver reenters the world of KTC.
Some in KTC carry haughty eyes with them as that number to the right of their handle increases. However, as we've seen from even the post that my fellow DOG, FWLPLAY shared today, you can be on day #900 one day and day #1 on the next.
Also, lying tongues fly around and false witnesses come out of the woodwork in the forums when holding cavers accountable. People come in to stir the pot so that someone can "feel the burn" of reentering KTC after caving on yourself and brothers/sisters. I have come to see people stretch the truth in order to bring shock and attention to someone's failure to uphold their oath.
Certainly, wicked plans are devised once a caver steps back in. Backdoor conversations start and "shitnados" are planned.
Of course, once the "shitnado" starts... many feet run rapidly to the evil, jump in, and contribute to the fire that was started. Some from people who don't do anything else, but post roll.
Most noticeably, what happens is that people intentionally spread strife among brothers/sisters because it "brings that group together." Well... it doesn't really work and this has been proven time and time again. It only works temporarily. If a group's bonding is dependent on an "outside threat", then it will have to seek (and often create) an "outside threat" regularly in order to stay bonded. Otherwise, that group won't be consistently bonded. That is not a solid foundation. It is a foundation built on strife. Let's think about that.
I'm not perfect. As I mentioned, I've played into this myself. I've contributed to it in just 28 days in this community.
Yes, we have rules here. However, my primary rule book is God's word and my primary reason for this quit has to do with my faith in Jesus and devotion to God. As a Christian, I believe in Colossians 1:27 which tells me that Christ is in me, the hope of glory. I also believe in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirt who is in me, whom I have from God, and that I am not my own.
If Jesus is in me, why in the heck would I stick toxins in my body? Why would I poison my creator and myself? Additionally, it would be hypocritical of me to have this as my reason for quitting and maintain a separate set of rules to stay quit. I have to honor God no matter the scenario. It's hard to stay obedient to that though, especially when the current of the river can be so strong. Luckily, I can always ignore that which hinders me.
Stay quit today, good people. Not to avoid the "shitnado" though because they will always be created for those who lust for them. Stay quit for something much more constant.
Glad I ran into this post, I needed to read it to see where I've been wrong!
hooh8r1206,
I have to revisit it frequently myself to bring me back in order.
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Day 81 - On My Heart
Scripture on my heart tonight...
I used to allow divisive people to provide me an excuse to dip. Instead of dip, I rely on the Lord now.
“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
â€â€Romans‬ â€16:17-18‬ â€NIV‬‬
Another scripture on my heart due to recent ridicule.
“God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.”
â€â€Matthew‬ â€5:10-12‬ â€NLT‬‬
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Day 84 - As our HOF approaches, I'm focused on...
WUPP ODAAT! However, it has a slightly altered meaning to me.
When I wake up every morning I'm focused on living with my mind set on the spirit and not on the flesh. Living in the flesh will only lead me back to dipping, drugging, drunkenness, debauchery, and caving to all kinds of sinful desires and idolatry...
As Romans 8:5-8 says, "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to GodÂ’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God."
Therefore, my diligence and persistence to this quit rests in my devotion to God on a daily basis. I do WUPP, but it is slightly different then the usual acronym. I Wake Up, Pray, and then Post. My first fruits of the morning are given to The Most High and then I post to KTC after having thanked God for me rising and promising to Him to be devoted in my daily walk to Jesus.
ODAAT, that's what I'm focused on. Do I recognize that I'm 16 days away from HOF? Sure. What does it mean? When it comes, it will mean that on day 99, I upheld my commitment to God another day and in extension to that, my quit.
On Day 84, my ride is a smooth one. I've not felt a tremendous crave in a long time. I've felt nothing more than the usual temptations of the flesh. There are numerous temptations that I encounter throughout the day, at times, dipping may be one of them. When these trials of temptation come about, I remember to consider it all joy, when I encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of my faith produces endurance (James 1:2-3). These struggles related to resisting Nic over the last 84 days are simply one of many workouts that are building my spiritual muscles. Also, I am reminded that He comes to my aid when I am tempted (Hebrews 2:18), I just have to open the eyes of my heart and draw close to Him, He's put the key in the lock...I just have to reach out and turn it, opening the door. I can't do this without Him.
Overall, I'm feeling really good. If there was one piece of advice that I would give to other new quitters who are followers of Christ (or considering), it would be to take this time as an opportunity to draw closer to God. Seek Him first and you will find that your quit isn't insurmountable as you may think or once thought. A mustard seed of faith can move mountains.
Just wake up, pray, and post.
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Hey Metzger2134,
How you doing? How's the quit treating ya?
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Day 89 - Let Your Light Shine - Difficult People
I've been in KTC for just under 3 months now. I met a lot of really good people. The overwhelming majority of people that I've connected with have been really pleasant. However, from time to time, you come across people who you really just don't vibe with. It's important to remember that there are thousands of people connected to KTC. Some are more engaged than others. Nonetheless, if you don't want to engage with someone unpleasant, you simply don't have to. All you really have to do is use the ignore function (if you need to know how, PM me.) I really don't ignore many people at all and the very small handful of people I have ignored, was only for a short period of time.
This quit here is about what you make it. You are in control of your bubble and do not have to allow anyone in that bubble. Don't allow one or two people to jump in your bubble and create havoc. Just step away from them and put your energy into people who are worth your time and respect you.
For me, I'm not in KTC to make friends. If I do, that's great! If I don't, I'm not a lost little puppy. Nonetheless, I am a friendly person. I'm here to stay quit and assist others to do that as well. As a Christian, I know very well who I am in Christ and I am 100% comfortable with myself as I learn to walk more in step with God. I don't need to impress anyone in this community. I'm comfortable with who I am to my God. However, not everyone else follows the same walk as I do or as you do.
Just keep walking your walk. WUPP and make a promise EDD, focusing on ODAAT. KTC has a culture and that culture is created by the people within it. Be yourself and let your light shine.
Matthew 5:16 -- In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
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Day 89 - Let Your Light Shine - Difficult People
I've been in KTC for just under 3 months now. I met a lot of really good people. The overwhelming majority of people that I've connected with have been really pleasant. However, from time to time, you come across people who you really just don't vibe with. It's important to remember that there are thousands of people connected to KTC. Some are more engaged than others. Nonetheless, if you don't want to engage with someone unpleasant, you simply don't have to. All you really have to do is use the ignore function (if you need to know how, PM me.) I really don't ignore many people at all and the very small handful of people I have ignored, was only for a short period of time.
This quit here is about what you make it. You are in control of your bubble and do not have to allow anyone in that bubble. Don't allow one or two people to jump in your bubble and create havoc. Just step away from them and put your energy into people who are worth your time and respect you.
For me, I'm not in KTC to make friends. If I do, that's great! If I don't, I'm not a lost little puppy. Nonetheless, I am a friendly person. I'm here to stay quit and assist others to do that as well. As a Christian, I know very well who I am in Christ and I am 100% comfortable with myself as I learn to walk more in step with God. I don't need to impress anyone in this community. I'm comfortable with who I am to my God. However, not everyone else follows the same walk as I do or as you do.
Just keep walking your walk. WUPP and make a promise EDD, focusing on ODAAT. KTC has a culture and that culture is created by the people within it. Be yourself and let your light shine.
Matthew 5:16 -- In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
ODAAT.....Merry Christmas.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 403
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Day 89 - Let Your Light Shine - Difficult People
I've been in KTC for just under 3 months now. I met a lot of really good people. The overwhelming majority of people that I've connected with have been really pleasant. However, from time to time, you come across people who you really just don't vibe with. It's important to remember that there are thousands of people connected to KTC. Some are more engaged than others. Nonetheless, if you don't want to engage with someone unpleasant, you simply don't have to. All you really have to do is use the ignore function (if you need to know how, PM me.) I really don't ignore many people at all and the very small handful of people I have ignored, was only for a short period of time.
This quit here is about what you make it. You are in control of your bubble and do not have to allow anyone in that bubble. Don't allow one or two people to jump in your bubble and create havoc. Just step away from them and put your energy into people who are worth your time and respect you.
For me, I'm not in KTC to make friends. If I do, that's great! If I don't, I'm not a lost little puppy. Nonetheless, I am a friendly person. I'm here to stay quit and assist others to do that as well. As a Christian, I know very well who I am in Christ and I am 100% comfortable with myself as I learn to walk more in step with God. I don't need to impress anyone in this community. I'm comfortable with who I am to my God. However, not everyone else follows the same walk as I do or as you do.
Just keep walking your walk. WUPP and make a promise EDD, focusing on ODAAT. KTC has a culture and that culture is created by the people within it. Be yourself and let your light shine.
Matthew 5:16 -- In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
ODAAT.....Merry Christmas.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 403
Thanks, Rawls. Happy belated Christmas to you. Thanks for your support.
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CIKI, congratulations on your HOF day!
I quit with you today.
Stay strong, be aware.
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CIKI, congratulations on your HOF day!
I quit with you today.
Stay strong, be aware.
Congrats on HOF CIKI! It keeps getting better.
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CIKI, congratulations on your HOF day!
I quit with you today.
Stay strong, be aware.
Congrats on HOF CIKI!!!
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CIKI, congratulations on your HOF day!
I quit with you today.
Stay strong, be aware.
Congrats on HOF CIKI!!!
Hey preacher, you've turned out to be a helluva quitter! Keep paying it forward and remember following helps at times just as much as leading! Congratulations damn proud to call you a brother and a friend!
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Thanks everyone.
You've all been helpful in different ways to me over the last 100. Here's to the next 100.
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CIKI, congratulations on your HOF day!
I quit with you today.
Stay strong, be aware.
Congrats on HOF CIKI! It keeps getting better.
Dang day late.... Congrats on HOV+1
Just another day of doing what you said you would do.
Rawls 413
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HOF Speech - My Road to Redemption - The Story of CIKI the Preacher
topic/11487447/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11487447/1/)
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Thanks for sharing Bro....
He teaches us through our past so we may be better suited to Glorify Him in the Present.
Respect your Quit.
EDD ODAAT.
Rawls 417
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Day 112 - Sowing Seeds in Good Soil
Being in KTC sometimes reminds me about The Parable of the Sower. Jesus was speaking to a crowd by a lake. He told them the following story found in Mark 4:3-8:
3 “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”
We have the opportunity to sow seeds onto various surfaces here in KTC. My primary objective is to serve a purpose of continuing my own successful quit and to play a role in nurturing a community that pulls people out of a life of slavery to nicotine. In doing this, we can have various methods for doing this. Some methods resonate more with some than others. Here are a few ways you can help sow seeds in good soil:
1) Post roll EDD and do it early. Posting roll is not a check-in. Posting roll is not a status update. Posting roll is a promise to you, your quit group, and the KTC community. Setting this example is leading the way by showing people how it is done. If we post for the purpose of making a 24-hour promise, we are planting our seeds in good soil. That post can grow into something strong (ie. Your word is kept and that shows integrity.) However, if you post roll as a status update or just to check in and be seen, that seed is not sown in good soil. ItÂ’s not a solid foundation to your day. Why? ItÂ’s based in just making appearances.
2) Share your experience. You never know who is out there struggling with this addiction. It takes courage to share the vulnerabilities that we have within us. For me, God knows who I am and He gives me courage and knows my intentions for sharing. For you, it might be the same or something else. At times, people can misinterpret your willingness to share as being someone who is seeking attention. However, I remember people sharing their struggles at numerous points in my life and when I heard it, I thought, “Hmm… I’m not alone.” It is for this reason, I share the intimate details of my journey with dip and how it is interconnected to other things. That is THE reason I do it. If you share your experience simply to get attention, that is sowing a seed in bad soil. It will not last. It will not grow. Sow the seed in good soil. The good soil is for someone else to see and learn. You sharing your story might encourage someone to quit or continue quitting.
3) Connect with people in your quit group (and in others new and old) and be very intentional in what your connection is about. It is about quitting this addiction. How many times have we all tried to do it on our own? We canÂ’t do it by ourselves. Very few are successful at doing it this way. However, remember that the connections you make are just as much about supporting the needs of the person you are connecting to as it is about your own desires and needs. You can plant seeds of in good soil just by letting them know you are there to lean on. Your foundation being in a bond of quit holds you together in good soil. However, if our connections in this community are made, maintained, or broken for reasons outside of this (quitting Nic) than, we may have planted them seeds in bad soil. Maybe we were just trying to make friends more than building accountability. Good (as it relates to quit) are probably less likely to grow in this soil. Therefore, at times, you might have to change the soil you are planting your seeds into. This may mean that you refocus your efforts. If you sow your seed in bad soil (build relations primarily on something other than quit) then your connection to this community may have a rocky foundation. Whatever that connection is based on can take you and those new found friends right out of here.
4) Stand strong and stand convicted in your beliefs and values here. Many of us started dipping because he saw someone else doing it and wanted to be like that. Maybe we were navigating our peer groups and our friends dipped and we did it to fit in with that group. Maybe a parent or family member did it and we wanted to be like them. Maybe the TV showed us that dipping was “manly” and we wanted to be like John Wayne or whoever. Whatever the reason, we were not born dipping and often choose to do it because we were trying to be something we are not. Don’t be a follower, be leader and start quitting and stay quit. To that same extent, extend that sternness to other areas of your life too. If there is something you disagree with in here, express it. Don’t just go with the crowd. New ideas and new communities go through birthing pains necessarily. KTC is an ever-changing community because new quitters are coming in each month. There are core tenants that we might be bonded in, but much of the culture is dictated by those within it. Sow the seeds of your values in good soil. It’s not just about standing strong in your quit, it’s about standing strong altogether. Infuse the quit throughout your life.
At the end of the day, revising an old Greek proverb, I would say that “KTC grows great when wise quitters plant seeds to trees whose shade they shall never sit.” Sow seeds in good soil so your work will have a lasting effect and quitters to come will benefit...
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That one day in the DOG house when we talked about a true brotherhood and a true family....
single/?p=9566864t=11341759 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9566864&t=11341759)
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*poof
(forgiveness)
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How do you rationalize this resistance?
I was helping a fellow quitter who I assumed was a fellow Christian because of a signature that included scripture. So, in support of her and also in agreement with other KTC'ers, I posted this and she replied.
single/?p=9566742t=11505241 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9566742&t=11505241)
As you can see, she was receptive of how I explained it. It was helpful in her quit and making since of KTC norms through the Christian culture.
Why does a vet respond to it this way?
single/?p=9567115t=11505241 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9567115&t=11505241)
It's crazy to me. Why can't you just respect differences? Why resist...especially when I wasn't resisting your idea but adding to it...
How do you?
With patience.
Thousands before you.
And Thousands behind you.
Rawls
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DOG days 1
single/?p=9569440t=11341759 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9569440&t=11341759)
Background: Someone started a conversation about a political issue ( minimum wage and government assistance.) A few of us were having a healthy conversation, but fundamental disagreements. We were keeping it respectful though. However, as disagreements mounted, others took it too far when they began to dig up non-relevant information about me from my linkedin profile and share it with others in their groupme so that they could make fun of me. One of the others in the groupme, (who didn't look at the profile) then shared what it said on the forum in our quit group. It had zero to do with anything we were talking about. It was purely shared to try to make fun of me.
I'm a big boy. I can take it. However, these are the moments when I question the depths of a "brotherhood". With some, it doesn't exist. I also question what kind of boundaries are set in here at times.
In the past, these are the moments that would make me want to pop in a dip for comfort and just say forget 'em! There's no going back to that. Instead, if I really get that urge... i'll post in forum or come in here.
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KTC – Building Community
Okay. So you signed into KTC. Some vets told you where and how to post. You posted. Now what? Well, there is a lot of things that you can do from here, but I would recommend that, along with continuing to read the gems that others have left behind in HOF, Words of Wisdom, Intro threads, etcÂ…., to begin building community. Here are a few suggestions to help you begin building a community of support and accountability within your quit group.
1) Start your SSOA - Connect with a previous quit group leader and find out how they developed their spreadsheet of accountability aka the SSOA. Sometimes, you might have a vet reach out and initiative this for you like the DOGs (Jan 2016) did (shot out to ChickDip.) This SSOA helps you very early one begin to take a daily talley of who is in your cohort and who is showing up daily. This helps provide you some direction and accountability each day. Additionally, I would recommend recruiting a crew of people within your cohort to manage the SSOA on a daily basis. DonÂ’t just dump it on one person who is willing to do it, even if they are willing. Give back and support your cohort. You can have a crew delegate days of who is the point person or you can just collectively jump at it each day. IÂ’d recommend trading numbers with this group so you all can keep each other in the loop.
2) Know your cohort - IÂ’d recommend reaching out each day or two to at least one new person in your cohort. When it makes sense, exchange numbers, but donÂ’t be offended when people donÂ’t want to. Give them time and meet them where they are. DonÂ’t overwhelm yourself, but in addition to regularly posting on your forum and engaging everyone, reach out individually and get to know people more deeply. This can help you understand others and develop trust. Trust is something you need after all as you are largely dealing with strangers online. Most of the people I reached out to were proven to be trustworthy, there was a few who were not. You can take this process to assess this on your own.
3) Fun posts -- It helps to post a few fun things in the forum to get people interacting. One time, we borrowed something from another cohort and everyone posted their name, job, and a few other items. Do this at your discretion. Remember, at the end of the day, you donÂ’t know who you are dealing with always so you might want to be reserved at times with what you share. Use your own discretion and donÂ’t be pressured by anyone to share what you donÂ’t want to share. However, it helps to cultivate community by doing some fun things like this.
4) Hunting trips together -- Other group activities can be fun and build solidarity. We used to get hounded by a few vets who only seemed to tell us consistently that we weren’t doing this right and weren’t doing that right. As grown men, quite a few of us expressed getting tired of it. Therefore, a few of my fellow DOGs and I used to even team up and take on some good battles with the vets. I seemed to always take the most heat and backlash though. When times got tough, a few of my fellow DOGs used to hide in their DOG pens and I would be pitted as the “drama guy” although we all engaged in it or planned to. Again, it would have helped to build better trust. Obviously, I let my guard down with them, but I didn’t initially mind because I could handle my own. Nonetheless, these little “hunting trips” were always fun. Sometimes we’d get together and go in the chat room or one of the new quit groups. Sometimes it would be for pure fun and other times it would be for pure support.
5) Buddy system -- I think it is extremely important to build a buddy system or a small group system. We called our system the WMD program. It stands for Watch My Dog aka WMD. Each DOG was paired with another DOG. Each pair were also expected to be the next line of search and rescue. The way this worked is like this, let’s say you have WMD pair #1 between 1A and 1B. Then you have WMD pair #2 with 2A and 2B. If one 1B came up missing on roll, 1A was the first line of responsibility. Therefore, whoever is checking SSOA should reach out to the WMD and say, “your boy/girl is missing!” In a case where let’s say 2A and 2B come up missing, then the WMD pair #1 were the second line of search and rescue.
6) Groupme and limitations -- I still think utilizing groupme or other group text apps are extremely beneficial in cultivating community within your quit group. Some people in here, including many admins, are uncomfortable with the spread of groupme, but I think it is good with some very strict parameters set on the front end. I get their concerns though. They don’t want it to take away from the site. After all, you sharing your journey in the forums is a trail for other quitters to learn from. They can’t do that in the groupme. This is a somewhat fair concern although I would reject it being an “all or nothing” thing. If you do, as I suggested, you should set some ground rules.
First off, no one should ever communicate in the groupme if they have not posted roll that day. This is the same expectation in the chat room.
Secondly, you should limit the groupme to discussions that you donÂ’t feel comfortable sharing with the entire KTC community. The groupme should never take place of discussion in forum. However, there were moments when someone might share something like a marital struggle or issues with flatulence that he/she didnÂ’t feel comfortable to share with other strangers in a forum. In this case, the groupme plays a vital role in establishing community, trust, and developing deeper relationships.
However, for this same reason, it brings me to my third suggestion, the groupme is supposed to be more intimate and people should respect each otherÂ’s privacy. What you share in the groupme should be between those in the groupme unless you collectively decide something else. We ran into issues where there was infighting within the groupme and someone would run their mouth in the forum about it. Often they were doing this because they knew the culture in the forum would actually support them and they were trying to build a case against that person. This is a major breach of trust and makes it difficult to develop a true brotherhood.
7) Be yourself, even if you are resisted – KTC has a culture. Culture is fluid. It is created by those within that community. Many of us started dipping because we were following. We wanted to do what we saw others doing. When you quit Nic, you decided that you’d be a leader in your own life and not let Nic do the leading. Extend that mission to your interactions in this community. Don’t follow just to follow. I encourage you to be yourself, even if being yourself naturally “rocks the boat” because those who oppose you will draw everyone and their Ma in to stand against you. They are often to appealing to the “we” in here because they don’t stand on their own two feet. Be strong and stand your ground, as long as you are being reasonable. Check yourself when you are not. Don’t just fit in because it seems easier in the short run. There are other people like you and they need to see that reflected in this community. Don’t tuck you away in a closet. In that same spirit though, don’t feel like you have to prove yourself to anyone in here. If people don’t appreciate what you contribute to the community, don’t waste your time on them. Put your energy elsewhere. For example, I decided to put a good amount of my energy into things like what I am doing now, just creating something for a struggling dipper to be empowered with and turn away from the Nic Pimp. Learn to connect with people who have common value and beliefs, but don’t limit yourself to that. I’m a Christian so it was important for me to connect to other Christians who are comfortable talking about their walk with Christ and how it relates to quitting and navigating this community.
On a final note, keep up the good work! You are here. ThatÂ’s a great start!
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Resisting that Inner Voice – Kicking Nic
Fair warning: I’m going to talk about being a follower of Christ and how it relates to kicking nicotine. I’m not attempting to be “holier than thou” or “push my faith on you” at all. I say this because some have expressed that in me doing so, they have received it as such in the past. This is my journey and this is how I make sense of it. For me, I cannot do this by myself or for myself. Why? I am more than me. I am in Christ and He is in me. I hope you enjoy this and take it into your heart as Holy Spirit has placed it on mine.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
One thing that IÂ’ve learned about myself since stepping fully in and accepting Jesus Christ into my life was that I was very misaligned in how I made sense of the world and my experience in it. What do I mean by this? I often used the knowledge that the world provided me to make sense of the world. This is not entirely wrong. Worldly knowledge can be very useful. However, I began to see that this needs to be aligned correctly. IÂ’ve been blessed in acquiring much worldly knowledge over the years (as IÂ’m sure you have), but it wasnÂ’t until I truly stepped into obedience to God that He began to show me how to use all that knowledge. IÂ’m still learning. I, like many of us, was not taught how to align that worldly knowledge correctly.
As a man who has been reborn in Christ, IÂ’ve had to go through an entirely new resocialization process (or realignment.) I am called to walk with my mind set on the spirit and not with my mind set on the flesh. This is contrary to my journey before Christ. For 30+ years, I was socialized in a way that was absent of obedience to GodÂ’s word. I was not taught how to hear Holy Spirit. Even during times when I was a self-professed Christian, I wasnÂ’t truly embracing it wholeheartedly and I surely wasnÂ’t walking in the Spirit. You see, I was largely socialized to take in what the world taught me and use that to navigate the world. My values, beliefs, and norms were largely cultivated in me by various aspects of the world. Largely this was my family, peers, education, media, and a few other components. However, my source of learning is much different now.
I have come to realize that God speaks to the Son. The Son (Jesus) speaks to Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit speaks to our spirit. However, we don’t often listen to our spirit. Instead we listen to our head, our brain. Our head is more-often-than-not filled with what the world has put in it. The world has taught me to bask in the things that just feel good to my flesh. These are my fleshly desires. The world largely says, “If it feels good to you then it’s probably okay.” Nicotine is one of those things that “feels good.” You remember those first couple of dips. They made you feel dizzy, almost drunk-like, and you liked it. Even if you didn’t like it, for some reason, you tried it again. I, for one, puked the first time I dipped and then decided, “I WANT MORE!!!!” (Ridiculous, I know.) Nonetheless, I was moving through life with my mind set on the flesh.
The flesh are the things that our body wants, but our spirit knows and tells us are no good for us. The flesh says to lash out in anger because it will be a release and feel good. The flesh says to take the easy route in almost anything. The flesh really basks in a list of things that provide short-term gratification. Our spirit can tell us about the good and bad. If we are in God’s word, reading scripture, talking to God, praising Him, exalting Him, and walking in Him daily… we will begin to operate from our spirit more and more. If you are like me, your head gets in the way of what the spirit is saying often. Remember, our spirit is where we receive God’s word. When we learn to walk with our mind set on the spirit, we will see that we find much longer lasting pleasures than the temporary gratifications that we once found by caving to the temptations of the flesh. One of those “caves”, is caving to nicotine, to dip.
You know that dipping is no good. You know that it does absolutely nothing to honor God. Dipping is something that serves nothing, but feeding the desires of the flesh. Is there a physical addiction? Sure. Does it mess up your brain? Sure. Is there a scientific explanation for the addiction? Yes, to a point. IÂ’m not rejecting science. Science is good. It helps for sure.
However, quitting dip (and the science of it) is only a small battle connected to a larger war. The war we face is about bringing our bodies into full submission to the Lord so that we can fully live out the purpose that He has for us. When you have that crave next time, remember that it is the fleshly desires calling you. Resist that inner voice. That inner voice is not of God. It is of your fleshly desires. Focus on submitting your body as a living sacrifice to God and the rest will fall into place. My cravings have been few and far in between. When they do come, if I am walking with my mind set on the spirit, it’s a breeze. I can swat the craving like a pesky fly. However, when my mind is lost in the flesh, those cravings are much more difficult to navigate. When a craving comes, get your mind set on the spirit. THAT is what can get you through. Of course, God can talk through people in KTC as well so I’m not saying “abandon KTC for God.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
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Three Weeks Away (Feb. 15 - March 6)
Things got a little too personal for me. I just didn't want to have to log in and deal with the childish things being thrown around. Could I take it? No doubt. I just didn't want to deal with it. So I made my peace with a few people and said I was done with KTC. I posted every single day via email, but to a group of KTC people who I grew to trust. Trust was a big factor why I stepped away. Some people simply are dishonest, are not transparent, act conniving, and are simply not forgiving. I talked to numerous DOGs upon my departure and they all understood why I was leaving. Only one person said they didn't agree with me leaving, but he understood why I was. I still stay connected and helped a few newbies. They deserved the support. They asked for the support. They wanted to help others. They are worth the time.
Three weeks went by. I had newbies and a few vets try to contact me to pull me back. Then a few DOGs texted a few days ago and said they wanted me back in the midst. So I came back. Plus there are some good people around I want to be there to support. To those people, the actual brothers and sisters (in action and not just throwing the terms around loosely), I apologize for walking away. People were saying things that got too personal and being the type of person who generally stands up for myself and others, it would have only escalated. It was getting nasty from some people. I know myself and I needed to step away. I'm called to turn away from such things and not walk into that temptation.
This time around... I'll just be using the ignore function a lot more.
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Three Weeks Away (Feb. 15 - March 6)
Things got a little too personal for me. I just didn't want to have to log in and deal with the childish things being thrown around. Could I take it? No doubt. I just didn't want to deal with it. So I made my peace with a few people and said I was done with KTC. I posted every single day via email, but to a group of KTC people who I grew to trust. Trust was a big factor why I stepped away. Some people simply are dishonest, are not transparent, act conniving, and are simply not forgiving. I talked to numerous DOGs upon my departure and they all understood why I was leaving. Only one person said they didn't agree with me leaving, but he understood why I was. I still stay connected and helped a few newbies. They deserved the support. They asked for the support. They wanted to help others. They are worth the time.
Three weeks went by. I had newbies and a few vets try to contact me to pull me back. Then a few DOGs texted a few days ago and said they wanted me back in the midst. So I came back. Plus there are some good people around I want to be there to support. To those people, the actual brothers and sisters (in action and not just throwing the terms around loosely), I apologize for walking away. People were saying things that got too personal and being the type of person who generally stands up for myself and others, it would have only escalated. It was getting nasty from some people. I know myself and I needed to step away. I'm called to turn away from such things and not walk into that temptation.
This time around... I'll just be using the ignore function a lot more.
And... it's an Internet forum, dude.
It's a facade.
It can only affect you in unhealthy fashion if you buy in too much. Don't let it bleed into real life... keep it in perspective.
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