KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: JParis6014 on April 28, 2011, 08:22:00 PM
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Josh is the name and I'm a 25 year old dip addict. Welcome to my own personal hell. Welcome to this fucking prison I have enslaved myself in. This flimsy, piece of shit, plastic can with a grizzly bear on it stares me in the face. I hear her calling out. Yes she is calling my name I am sure of it. The nic bitch wanting me for just one last time. Just one pinch thats all I tell myself, thats all I need and then I will quit, just one more can, I swear this will be the last one. I cave, pack my lip with that sweet, wintergreen goodness, I feel it burn, my mind eases, my body relaxes, ahhhh sweet ecstasy. We have all been here in one way or another over the years. For me I have told my sick mind these same bullshit lies for well over 10 years. An addict never thinks or acknowledges they are not in control. I have always told myself that I could stop anytime I wanted to. Well, I am on Day 2 and its a bitch. I stumbled across this site yesterday and I registered for it. I'm looking for help, support, hell just a listening and sympathetic ear even from someone who has done it already. My head hurts, I can't think straight, I am fidgety, irritable, and all I can think about is the nic bitch. Yes even know she taunts me from that plastic can with the grizzly bear on it. I won't give in this time though. Something is different about me. I realize I am an addict. I realize that I can't do it on my own. I am quitting this nasty habit once and for all. I will not fail. I have surveyed the problem, I have come up with the solution, my path is laid before me, my decision stands final. As of 4-27-2011 I am nic free. I am quit.
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JP....welcome to the place where everyone of us are addicts recovering from the nic bitch's hold on us. We've all been where you are....it's hard, but embrace the suck so you will know you never ever want to cave again and never ever have to go through these first days again.
If you haven't already, check out this link on what to expect: http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) It certainly helped me.
Get into the chat room during the day or night....yell scream at us.....we've all done it....we've all been through what you're going through.
If you need a number to call, private message me I'll share. Lean on us to get through this....you will get through this and really enjoy the other side
Rocket
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JParis - I am right there with you man, 29 - been a slave to it for 11 years now. I am on day 3 myself. I look forward to seeing your name on Roll Call everyday - holler at me if you want to talk with someone going through the same shit as you right now because I feel exactly as you in everything that you have said. Stay strong bro - be the quit.
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JP - It's been 3 days for me. I've dealt pretty well with it so far... but I think it's because of this site. There have been a few times each of the past three days where I've said "fuck it - I'm gonna go get a tin." But right before I do, I check the forums. I read some of the HOF speeches. And 20 minutes later, I'm right back in Quitville.
I never thought a social forum would be the impetus to help me quit. But this site really works. If you're on the edge and about to cave, come here - read an HOF speech. The cave will go away. At least it has for me.
Good luck with your quit. See you tomorrow at Roll.
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12:49 AM EST and I'm nic-free for Day 3. This is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. All of my friends either dip or smoke so the nic bitch is always lurking near and tempting. My head is splitting, fidgeting, distractions everywhere, I can't think straight. Damn I feel like shit just straight up shit. I'm moody as hell. Feel like I could rip somebody's head off right now and shit down their neck. Well it could be worse, I could be bowing at the feet of the nic bitch but I'm not. Thank God I'm nic free. I got one thing to say to the nic bitch 'Finger'
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12:49 AM EST and I'm nic-free for Day 3. This is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. All of my friends either dip or smoke so the nic bitch is always lurking near and tempting. My head is splitting, fidgeting, distractions everywhere, I can't think straight. Damn I feel like shit just straight up shit. I'm moody as hell. Feel like I could rip somebody's head off right now and shit down their neck. Well it could be worse, I could be bowing at the feet of the nic bitch but I'm not. Thank God I'm nic free. I got one thing to say to the nic bitch 'Finger'
I know how you feel. We have all been through it.
I offer this for a bit of motivation. All of the dippers and smokers around you may tease you a bit. Just keep going one day at a time. At sometime in the future, you will notice their teasing will shift to admiration. They will think you are a bass ass quitter. Respect. Just wait and see.
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Congrats, Josh. I meant to quit at 25 too, but I kept on going for another 15 years. I'm not only an addict, but a dumbass. But I'm 233 days nic free now and you can do it too.
Post roll, keep your word, and enjoy life nic free (even the fog). Embrace the suck. That is the feeling of healing, bro.
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Well I'm on Day 6 and I have felt really good over the last day or so until this morning. The cravings had started to diminish and it felt like my head was starting to clear. Well not so fast. Had to get up at 4 am to work shift today at the FD and my head is spinning. All of the guys here are dipping and I can already tell its gonna be a shitty ass day 'bang head' Damn it. Well anyways its Day 6 and I am nic free and quit.
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I didn't sleep well at all last night. I got about a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I would doze off and then start back awake every little bit. I feel horrible but I am thankful to be off the nic. Its nice not having raw spots or little bumps in my mouth. My smile looks better :D and my girlfriend is very happy now that I have quit B) I'm just trying to realize that for all of the shit I'm having to go through right now there are a lot more positives. I will never have to go through the suck again because I am quit for today one day at a time.
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I didn't sleep well at all last night. I got about a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I would doze off and then start back awake every little bit. I feel horrible but I am thankful to be off the nic. Its nice not having raw spots or little bumps in my mouth. My smile looks better :D and my girlfriend is very happy now that I have quit B) I'm just trying to realize that for all of the shit I'm having to go through right now there are a lot more positives. I will never have to go through the suck again because I am quit for today one day at a time.
I had several weeks of insomnia as well. It too shall pass.
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JP -
I, too, was absolutely unable to sleep for the first couple of days - Day 3 I sweat so much during the night I thought I pissed the bed. Still having problems now, but to a lesser extent. I took some Tylenol PM a few nights and found that helped out - give it a try if you are still having problems.
-Wesski
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Make sure you drink plenty of water. When you think you have drank enough have some more. Nothing scientific here but it seems like the water held off the headaches from nic withdrawal.
Plus most people don't drink enough water anyway.
Congrats and keep up the QUIT.
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..... and my girlfriend is very happy now that I have quit ......
Just wait until she realizes what a grumpy sumbitch you become for a while. Oh, and then she'll realize that the nicotine has been reducing your sex drive. :o :o
Seriously, though: it will help both of you if she does some reading on this site. If you haven't already, show her around here some. Let her read the spouses section (maybe that won't scare either of you too bad). My quit got exponentially easier the day I emailed my wife some links to a few tidbits around here. She had no comprehension of what I was actually going through. Just thought I was being a jackass for no reason.
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Last night was hell again. I tossed and turned for forever. Then I would doze off and start back awake again. Same shit, different night. The cravings come and go. Sometimes my thought process is clear as a bell and sometimes the FOG has me all kinds of screwed up. Its Day 7 and I'm free of the nic bitch but it aint been easy. Its all worth it in the end though. Alot of people said I couldn't do it. Well its Day 7 and I'm still quit. Because failure wasn't and isn't an option. Thanks to TCOPE for texting and talking to me on the phone yesterday. Brother you have no idea how much that little talk helped. Also thanks to Radman and Rocketman for texting yesterday. Today is a good day, not because I'm feeling peachy necessarily but because I'm off the nic bitch because I'm quit for today. Stay strong and stay quit today brothers.
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Good work Paris.
The sleep will return in time. At some point in the near future you most likely will be sleeping more than you ever have. It takes awhile to fix that many years of stupid.
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In those early days of quitting, the sleep I lost at night I made up during work; so, it all balances out. :D
Keep pressing on. You'll feel great when what you've written here sounds to you like someone else's story; and that will happen soon enough if you just make your way to that goal one day at a time.
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I used some Tylenol PM early on to get to sleep. Your sleep will return... Keep fighting !!
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Its Day 8 and I'm quit brothers for another day. I actually got some pretty good sleep last night. I only woke up twice throughout the night. The cravings aren't as bad and my head is starting to feel clearer. Today is a great freaking day cause I'm quit and I know that day by day its getting better. Stay strong and stay quit brothers.
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Today is a great freaking day cause I'm quit.
:D
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Way to go, keep up the quit.
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Finally got to a computer today. Many thanks to Rocketman for posting my roll this morning via text cause I aint got a computer and I wasn't working today. Today is Day 9 and its been great. My head has been clear today and I'm not acting like such a grumpy sum bitch. Also cravings have been minimal. Day 9 is a far cry from day 1. Day 1 was like this 'bang head' day 9 has been more like this :D Today is a great freaking day cause I'm quit and nic free. I wish I could have seen myself and how much of a jackass I looked like when I was still doing this dumb shit 'drool' I am glad to be quit. So Nic bitch this middle finger is for you 'Finger'
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Many more good days to come Jparris. Congratulations and keep up the good work!
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Day 10. In the double digits now baby! Its a great freaking day cause I'm nic free and quit. Cravings today are minimal to none, no headaches. I still have been having trouble sleeping real well but I know that sooner or later that will subside. I'm just happy to be off the nasty shit. Also my head has been much clearer :D
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Hour 8. It's already kicking in. From the can gone from my back pocket to the digging in between my teeth to get out pieces of snuff. I'm missing it. But I'm not caving. It's all going to be worth it. Once my Smokey Creek Chew arrives, everything will be fine. I hope. I know the first 48 are going to be rough but I'm going to push through it. With a choice of cancer or headaches and insomnia, I'll go with the latter.
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Day 11. Hell yeah. I slept through the night last night. Only problem is I slept a little too good and I was a few minutes late for work this morning :o Haha its a nice change from the insomnia but I will probably just end up sleeping like shit tonight. Oh well I embrace the suck everyday cause its my fault I ever took that first dip anyways. Damn I was an idiot. Anyway, today is a great fucking day cause I'm quit. Man up fellers, grab yourself by the balls and quit today!
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JP- You are a Bad Ass Quitter. You wrote with more clarity in the middle of your Day 2 Suck than I do now at Day 23. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Today I posted Roll Call and today I am Quit. Peace
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JP,
Sounds like you are at a time in your quit where you feel the first sense of freedom. It is a great feeling.The nic bitch ain't gonna let you go just yet, but it gets better and better. These times will become more and more the normal instead of the exception. Stay vigilant but enjoy these days.
Glad to be quit with you
30
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JP,
Sounds like you are at a time in your quit where you feel the first sense of freedom. It is a great feeling.The nic bitch ain't gonna let you go just yet, but it gets better and better. These times will become more and more the normal instead of the exception. Stay vigilant but enjoy these days.
Glad to be quit with you
30
Thanks 30. I know I got a long road ahead of me but thats why I take it a day at a time. Thanks for all of the support. I won't stop quitting though. I have come way to far and gone through way too much shit to stop now.
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JP- You are a Bad Ass Quitter. You wrote with more clarity in the middle of your Day 2 Suck than I do now at Day 23. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Today I posted Roll Call and today I am Quit. Peace
Thanks bro. I just take it a day at a time. The same offer extends from me to you. If you need anything at all let me know bro. PM me and I will give you my cell number in case you wanna talk or a craving hits and you need someone to holler at.