KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: jeff24 on July 08, 2013, 11:12:00 AM
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11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother - who introduced me to the board), decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint (adam1974, keep up the good fighter, brother). He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of a close friend's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
-
Welcome to KTC. First things first. Adam is a badass so listen to him.
Now, when you have a crave come here and read Intros and HOF speeches to get yourself thinking straight. Make a promise to Adam that before you ingest nicotine in ANY way, shape, or form, that you must get his approval.
You can't quit an addiction by feeding it the same drug though a different delivery method. Cold turkey is the only way. It sucks for a long time but if you want to quit to have to fight through the sucky part.
Post roll early, giving your word to be clean for today only, to yourself, your group, Adam, and the rest of us each morning. If you post roll and keep your word each day failure is not possible. Sounds too simple, right?
-
11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother), adam1974, decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint. He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of adam1974's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
Great job making it to Day 12 on your quit. Now post go roll and do it every day and commit to your quit. This is a fundamental shift in thinking and a fundamental change in your way of life. Shut the door on nicotine...physically and mentally, and NEVER EVER OPEN IT AGAIN. Turn away from it and move forward. Commit to that mentally, and the rest will come. Post roll every day. Get phone numbers of guys in your quit group and text and call daily. Hold somebody else accountable, and they will hold you accountable. All this will help.
Drink water.
Welcome.
-
11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother), adam1974, decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint. He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of adam1974's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
Great job making it to Day 12 on your quit. Now post go roll and do it every day and commit to your quit. This is a fundamental shift in thinking and a fundamental change in your way of life. Shut the door on nicotine...physically and mentally, and NEVER EVER OPEN IT AGAIN. Turn away from it and move forward. Commit to that mentally, and the rest will come. Post roll every day. Get phone numbers of guys in your quit group and text and call daily. Hold somebody else accountable, and they will hold you accountable. All this will help.
Drink water.
Welcome.
If I were you I would get rid of that Ecig and any other thing you have in the house that you can get nicotine out of. I dont know how much they cost dont really care its pennies compared to the rest of your life. You have to burn the bridge and the piers too. Keeping that Ecig around is nothing more than tempting fate and puts you in the cross hairs.
Make sure you stay hydrated to flush out your system. I used cranberry juice I seemed to be sharper on days I was drinking cranberry juice.
PM me if you need a number
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11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother), adam1974, decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint. He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of adam1974's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
This is awesome man. I almost cried reading your post. See bro, I battle with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. The Nic Bitch was my medication. I used it for years not fully understanding the medical benefit I was getting that made my addiction so much stronger. The things is that it was killing me at the same time.
I stopped for a little over 3 years. I started back in 2009 around April. My second son was being born and I was kicking strong in my Master's program just like you. Plus working the fulltime gig as well. Stressed out was an understatement. I crumbled to the bullshit lies, "all you need is a dip," "it will cure it all." I am not much of a fowl mouth person but when I think about this and the fucking perverse twisted thinking involved it is hard for me to not let all the rage out. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK YOU NICOTINE!!!!!!!!!!!
I bought into NIC being the fix and broke my quit. I then lived this shit as lie that it is okay each day for the next 3 1/2 years until 13 days ago. No more of that shit!
I didn't realize how clear my thinking was compared to when I am using nicotine. I forgot at the least. When you give into this one things (NIC BITCH) it pollutes the rest of your life. It bleeds into everything pure and wholesome because it is how the addiction works. It has to torment all areas or it leaves an opportunity for you to realize how FUCKED UP it is to be controlled by the shit! 'bang head'
Anyway, enough of my rant.
I love this statement, [But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."]
So true and powerful! I may even add this as a signature.
Kickin the Nic BItch Out together bro. Outting with you today!
Thanks for your post.
-
11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother), adam1974, decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint. He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of adam1974's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
This is awesome man. I almost cried reading your post. See bro, I battle with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. The Nic Bitch was my medication. I used it for years not fully understanding the medical benefit I was getting that made my addiction so much stronger. The things is that it was killing me at the same time.
I stopped for a little over 3 years. I started back in 2009 around April. My second son was being born and I was kicking strong in my Master's program just like you. Plus working the fulltime gig as well. Stressed out was an understatement. I crumbled to the bullshit lies, "all you need is a dip," "it will cure it all." I am not much of a fowl mouth person but when I think about this and the fucking perverse twisted thinking involved it is hard for me to not let all the rage out. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK YOU NICOTINE!!!!!!!!!!!
I bought into NIC being the fix and broke my quit. I then lived this shit as lie that it is okay each day for the next 3 1/2 years until 13 days ago. No more of that shit!
I didn't realize how clear my thinking was compared to when I am using nicotine. I forgot at the least. When you give into this one things (NIC BITCH) it pollutes the rest of your life. It bleeds into everything pure and wholesome because it is how the addiction works. It has to torment all areas or it leaves an opportunity for you to realize how FUCKED UP it is to be controlled by the shit! 'bang head'
Anyway, enough of my rant.
I love this statement, [But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."]
So true and powerful! I may even add this as a signature.
Kickin the Nic BItch Out together bro. Outting with you today!
Thanks for your post.
Thanks so much for your reply man! I can't tell you what it meant to me to read your words - especially about the ADHD/mental health part. I've had trouble with that as well, and nicotine always seemed to make me feel more focused, in control. You're absolutely right: it makes the addiction piece that much harder.
It blows my mind to hear about all the things you had going on in your life, and were still able to overcome the addiction. That is so inspirational.
I'm quit you today my friend! Thanks so much for your support.
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Just to clarify bro, I gave into the addiction when I had all that shit going on. I am quit now for 13days. Unless you were referring to the ADHD, depression, and anxiety stuff. I did stop for 3 years while dealing with that crap. During those three years is actually when I found out I struggled with those things. Before this I simply was just trying to survive. Kickin the bitch helped clear my mind to actually see through the fog.
I have noticed the sure will of many people in this brotherhood. I love to read their thoughts. Jeff, it is a way of thinking that must overtake our lives and become our lives itself.
That is why I liked your statement I mentioned. It is about having the balls to tell the Nic Bitch to FUCK OFF but not being so arrogant to ignore we need help in this battle. Today it may be easy but day 900 may be the one where we need a huge life jacket. :D
Keep Kickin the can bro!
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Welcome jeff. Adam was in my hof class. Any friend of his is a friend of mine. You made a good decision when you began to listen to him. If i was you i would listen, pay attention and act on what he says about nicotine. He has proven that he has what it takes to quit one of the most addictive drugs known to man.
Just want to clear up one thing you stated in your intro. Part of successfully quitting is getting your mind right.
Make no mistake, no matter how you put nicotine in your body,,,,,, IT'S POISON!!!! Ecig, patch, butplug,,, don't Matter. Nicotine,, drop for drop is more poisonous than arsenic, cobra venom and the list goes on.. Nicotine is a poison that belongs on a plant not in your body. Don't listen to big tobacco with their lies and deception anymore.
Post roll and take it one day at a time bro. It sounds like Adam has you started in the right direction. I will Leave my number in your inbox. Glad to be quit with you.
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Hullo Jeff and welcome to the site
Some questions and thoughts for you.
Are you quitting for yourself ? I'm not 100% sure, are you?
How are you managing the anxiety? What is your plan around this? When the stress builds up and the anxiety builds up you will handle it how?
Your addiction is to nicotine. The e cig, a regular cig, dip, snus, gum, patch, it's all the same. A delivery method for your drug of choice.
The Relief you believe you got from dip is a illusion. Dip + 1 problem = 2 problems.
Keep quitting one day at a time, one minute if need be, get little and protect your quit. If I can do it so can you.
sM
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You're doing it right Jeff, posting roll and quitting every day. Chat at night helps too.
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Also, I would like to add to the new class, that you can feel free to rage here instead of to your friends and family. We can take it. I think every single quitter has wanted to tell people to fuck off regularly while going through the first 100 days.
You will look back and laugh, and we will laugh with you.
Rage on, my friends.
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Hullo Jeff and welcome to the site
Some questions and thoughts for you.
Are you quitting for yourself ? I'm not 100% sure, are you?
How are you managing the anxiety? What is your plan around this? When the stress builds up and the anxiety builds up you will handle it how?
Your addiction is to nicotine. The e cig, a regular cig, dip, snus, gum, patch, it's all the same. A delivery method for your drug of choice.
The Relief you believe you got from dip is a illusion. Dip + 1 problem = 2 problems.
Keep quitting one day at a time, one minute if need be, get little and protect your quit. If I can do it so can you.
sM
All fair questions, Skoal Monster. Thanks for asking. Let me see if I can help to address some of your concerns.
1) Everything we do, we do for ourselves. But sometimes it takes others to see outside of ourselves. My mentioning of important people in my life who encouraged me was a reflection of that thinking - an acknowledgement of that influence. I'd encourage you to re-read my intro.
2) My plan for managing my anxiety? Well, aside from sharing personal information with complete strangers on the internet, I enjoy running. That helps. Also, drinking water seems to help a bit.
Lastly, and I can't stress this enough, thank you for being a stand to my quit.
-
11 years old.
That's how old I was the first time my childhood best friend and I stole a Newport cigarette from his mom's purse. I'll never forget that first time out in the woods in our neighbor's shed, lighting up under the hot tin roof.
I just had my 29th birthday. In less than 12 months, I'll be 30.
For nearly 2/3 of my life, nicotine has been there; like an annoying, hungry ghost that needs to be fed. I've had many stretches of smoking, and quitting over the years. (I've dabbled with dip, a few times. rationalizing that would help me stop smoking.) But that familiar hook snag always seems to get it's grip in me when I'm at an emotional low.
The most recent quit, I didn't even make it a year. In September 2011, I started taking post-baccalaureate classes in the evenings while working during the day. Most week nights, I'd leave the house by 7:30, and I wouldn't be home until almost mid-night. Long days, coupled with large amounts of stress created the perfect storm to grab hold of a familiar habit.
In February of 2012, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. After we got settled, it seemed like the perfect time to make some changes. My sister's boyfriend told me about the electronic cigarette (e-cig), and said it really worked for him. I decided to give it a try.
That was in March of last year. Since then, I've been buying these cartridges on the internet at roughly 2 bucks a pop. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, this is great! I can have nicotine, and not get all those harmful chemicals from cigarettes." All the while, my girlfriend would give me a positive, but realistic perspective: "You know, Jeff, it's great that you quit smoking, but eventually I'd like to see you give this thing up too. It's only suppose to an aid to your quit." At first, I would just brush it off, content on puffing on my e-cig until the end of my days. But she stayed persistant. I got mad, but eventually started to think about her words.
Months later, my good friend (practically brother), adam1974, decided it was time for him to give up dip after a 20 year stint. He started telling me about this site. At our weekly game night, he would give me updates on his progress, and insights into the process. Well, needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's well past his 100 day mark (so proud of him), and going strong.
I began to realize this was an addiction that was controlling my life, and started to get upset with myself about the whole deal. I've always prided myself on being self-reliant, and I sure as hell wasn't being that.
But, because of adam1974's persistant voice and support of my girlfriend, I began to realize we can't do it all on our own. And we don't have to.
I think I've failed in the past, because rather than reaching out to someone, to a community that could relate, I would draw back into myself and give into the familiar voice: "Just one will take the edge off." Not this time.
So here I am.
The last 11 days have been tough. My biggest withdrawal battle has been dealing with depression and anxiety - two demons I've fought throughout my life. That voice was strong at first: "You can end all this misery by running out to the store and grabbing an e-cig. Nicotine will cure it all, take the pain away."
But I've started to replace that old voice with a new voice: "It's OK to feel like crap. And it's OK to need help from others. One day at a time. You can do this."
I feel confident that a little friendly support, and self-compassion is the key. I think this is the recipe for success I've been looking for. I have faith in that.
Today is Day 11 without nicotine. Today, I have my life the way I see it, without nicotine. I'll worry about Day 12 tomorrow.
In this moment, I'm quit.
Thanks for reading, and being part of this process!
Great job making it to Day 12 on your quit. Now post go roll and do it every day and commit to your quit. This is a fundamental shift in thinking and a fundamental change in your way of life. Shut the door on nicotine...physically and mentally, and NEVER EVER OPEN IT AGAIN. Turn away from it and move forward. Commit to that mentally, and the rest will come. Post roll every day. Get phone numbers of guys in your quit group and text and call daily. Hold somebody else accountable, and they will hold you accountable. All this will help.
Drink water.
Welcome.
If I were you I would get rid of that Ecig and any other thing you have in the house that you can get nicotine out of. I dont know how much they cost dont really care its pennies compared to the rest of your life. You have to burn the bridge and the piers too. Keeping that Ecig around is nothing more than tempting fate and puts you in the cross hairs.
Make sure you stay hydrated to flush out your system. I used cranberry juice I seemed to be sharper on days I was drinking cranberry juice.
PM me if you need a number
Thanks man! Getting rid of all the e-cig stuff is good advice. I went down to a zero nicotine cartridge, but it's definitely time to kick the thing all together.
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Make no mistake, no matter how you put nicotine in your body,,,,,, IT'S POISON!!!! Ecig, patch, butplug,,, don't Matter.
BUTPLUG
'crackup'