KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: freeTB12 on October 02, 2016, 09:19:00 PM
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I don't know how many nights I've driven home from work and thrown my not empty tin out my driver side window only to buy a new one in the morning. I recently made it 18 hours then caved to the self talk that pouches aren't that bad. I've planned and plotted my exit for months and years. I used chew to quit smoking almost 10 years ago, I had been smoking for 5 so I'm coming up on almost two decades of tobacco use. In 2015 I found out I was having twins, my first children. I told myself I'd quit once I looked into their eyes, almost year later I'm still wasting my money but even worse, gambling my health and ultimately my life. Risking my life to line the pockets of rich men who made their fortune by addicting people to a plant. Spending $2500+ a year on something that doesn't even give me a buzz anymore, purely out of habit and addiction. I've easily spent $25,000 on chewing tobacco over the last decade, easily. I've never done that math until now and that's enough to make me quit right there. 25k in my children's college fund sounds good about now. 25k on an epic vacation for my family. 25k on home upgrades. 25k I've spit into a water bottle. Disgusting and pathetic. I apologize now if profanity is frowned upon but there aren't many words that get this point across. I'm 48 hours into my quit and I'm sure as fuck never going back. Don't be weak we can all quit.
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I don't know how many nights I've driven home from work and thrown my not empty tin out my driver side window only to buy a new one in the morning. I recently made it 18 hours then caved to the self talk that pouches aren't that bad. I've planned and plotted my exit for months and years. I used chew to quit smoking almost 10 years ago, I had been smoking for 5 so I'm coming up on almost two decades of tobacco use. In 2015 I found out I was having twins, my first children. I told myself I'd quit once I looked into their eyes, almost year later I'm still wasting my money but even worse, gambling my health and ultimately my life. Risking my life to line the pockets of rich men who made their fortune by addicting people to a plant. Spending $2500+ a year on something that doesn't even give me a buzz anymore, purely out of habit and addiction. I've easily spent $25,000 on chewing tobacco over the last decade, easily. I've never done that math until now and that's enough to make me quit right there. 25k in my children's college fund sounds good about now. 25k on an epic vacation for my family. 25k on home upgrades. 25k I've spit into a water bottle. Disgusting and pathetic. I apologize now if profanity is frowned upon but there aren't many words that get this point across. I'm 48 hours into my quit and I'm sure as fuck never going back. Don't be weak we can all quit.
You aren't alone brother. Many of us have tossed that can out the window, only to hunt for it in the dark, hours or days later. We've promised ourselves and others we'd quit on births, birthdays, deaths, new-years, or any other symbolic day, only to talk ourselves out of it. Failure is cumulative and after awhile, we live with the weight of being resigned to the can. As time goes on, we've stolen time from our kids and families to feed our addiction. As you pointed out, we've stolen money to feed it as well. Nicotine does NOTHING for us, but delay withdrawal symptoms. That's it. That's what you've wasted $25K and your life for. I see you posted in January. Knock out that post first thing, Every Damn Day, and keep your promise. I encourage you to get in touch with the brothers and sisters in your group. Build a strong brotherhood and hold each other accountable. That's what we do here. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Nicotine doesn't fight fair, so why should you?
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What an introduction. Welcome.
Quitting is hard work. Caving is easy. Choose the hard work. Refuse to give in.
We've all done it, so there's proof it can be done. Trust me, there's nothing special about us. There's no magic or luck to it. Just refuse to cave.
The freedom is worth it.
Proud to quit with you.
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What an introduction. Welcome.
Quitting is hard work. Caving is easy. Choose the hard work. Refuse to give in.
We've all done it, so there's proof it can be done. Trust me, there's nothing special about us. There's no magic or luck to it. Just refuse to cave.
The freedom is worth it.
Proud to quit with you.
^^^ agree 100%!
You have a good start, the right perspective. I don't know how many cans i pitched out the window too-- and thought i was the only idiot ever to have to do that over and over. Crazy thing is, somebody here has done everything you have -- even dumpster diving after the crumbs in a can you threw out earlier. Common actually. You can really make it this time. Keep the determination. That IS what it takes. My best tips:
- Keep logging your experiences here in the intros- it gives you a record to look at later to see what you don't want to repeat any more, it gives you a sense of accomplishment, and it helps other quitters see that they aren't alone.
- Learn all you can about the addiction, from the resources here, from reading other quitters' intros, and from outside sources. Learning how it works makes it more predictable what the addiction throws at you, and also motivates you because you learn to HATE, even more, that this is allowed to happen to us all and not be criminal.
- Build a network of other quitters, in your quit-group and others, for accountability and support. This has made all the difference for me. One of the brain circuits that the addiction hijacks is one that encourages us to build friendships- the tobacco becomes our little friend- so building a network is a little foreign for many of us.
Go get it today, Quit HARD for this day. I'm going to do that too.
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What an introduction. Welcome.
Quitting is hard work. Caving is easy. Choose the hard work. Refuse to give in.
We've all done it, so there's proof it can be done. Trust me, there's nothing special about us. There's no magic or luck to it. Just refuse to cave.
The freedom is worth it.
Proud to quit with you.
^^^ agree 100%!
You have a good start, the right perspective. I don't know how many cans i pitched out the window too-- and thought i was the only idiot ever to have to do that over and over. Crazy thing is, somebody here has done everything you have -- even dumpster diving after the crumbs in a can you threw out earlier. Common actually. You can really make it this time. Keep the determination. That IS what it takes. My best tips:
- Keep logging your experiences here in the intros- it gives you a record to look at later to see what you don't want to repeat any more, it gives you a sense of accomplishment, and it helps other quitters see that they aren't alone.
- Learn all you can about the addiction, from the resources here, from reading other quitters' intros, and from outside sources. Learning how it works makes it more predictable what the addiction throws at you, and also motivates you because you learn to HATE, even more, that this is allowed to happen to us all and not be criminal.
- Build a network of other quitters, in your quit-group and others, for accountability and support. This has made all the difference for me. One of the brain circuits that the addiction hijacks is one that encourages us to build friendships- the tobacco becomes our little friend- so building a network is a little foreign for many of us.
Go get it today, Quit HARD for this day. I'm going to do that too.
I can't top these two^^^ Welcome to KTC, own it!
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Thanks for the support everyone. I'm going strong, finding empty tins in weird places. The thought of throwing a pinch makes me nauseous to be honest. I know that will change and I'll be wanting one again. Today my brain is foggy, critical thinking is a joke right now, I'm also super anxious today. Not caving, ever.
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How about today, how you doing? Every uncomfortable moment you make it through is one more piece of rewiring successfully completed- you are showing the addiction that the circuitry doesn't work that way anymore- that particular discomfort it throws your way will not lead you to taking in nicotine anymore. Beat it once, and that one's over! keep it up! keep checking in, you'll have a great victory log in the making!
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How about today, how you doing? Every uncomfortable moment you make it through is one more piece of rewiring successfully completed- you are showing the addiction that the circuitry doesn't work that way anymore- that particular discomfort it throws your way will not lead you to taking in nicotine anymore. Beat it once, and that one's over! keep it up! keep checking in, you'll have a great victory log in the making!
Going strong, played 18 yesterday and would normally go through a tin but had no issue. Today's anxiety has been on and off, tough at times but I'm not giving in it's not worth it. I'm almost through 4 full days and don't want to lose the ground I've gained. I'm not going back.
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Day 5 sounds so much better than days 1, 2, 3, and 4. I don't know what it is about 5 but it feels fucking great however my anxiety has been borderline out of control at times. I don't feel body aches, I don't feel like I'm coding out or anything but I feel like my brain locks up and I'm never going to be successful, I go deep down the rabbit hole only to to come out of it in a daze.
I'm a 32 year old business owner of 6 years with 11 month old twins living in a place that's too expensive on a single income as my wife stays home with the kids in expensive ass Yorba Linda, CA. The anxiety passes and I'm able to think clearly again. So far the thought of dip makes me sick but it's interesting to feel just how gnarly the addiction is. Along with quitting dip I'm not eating grains or sugar. Probably not the best idea but I need a change. I've let self-discipline go by the wayside and I need it back like I had it when I was a single college student getting A's, training hard, and hunting pussy on the weekends.
I'm not drinking until 10/22 when I go to see NOFX and Bad Religion in San Diego with my wife. I also completely came clean to my wife about ninja dipping a tin+ a day since before we met in 2009. She knew I would dip sometimes but not the extent. I've told everyone, even clients, that in itself is a major weight lifted. It's awesome to not lie anymore. It's also awesome not driving to 3 different places because the other two didn't have my flavor. I will not quit on myself ever again. I am quit forever.
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Day 5 sounds so much better than days 1, 2, 3, and 4. I don't know what it is about 5 but it feels fucking great however my anxiety has been borderline out of control at times. I don't feel body aches, I don't feel like I'm coding out or anything but I feel like my brain locks up and I'm never going to be successful, I go deep down the rabbit hole only to to come out of it in a daze.
I'm a 32 year old business owner of 6 years with 11 month old twins living in a place that's too expensive on a single income as my wife stays home with the kids in expensive ass Yorba Linda, CA. The anxiety passes and I'm able to think clearly again. So far the thought of dip makes me sick but it's interesting to feel just how gnarly the addiction is. Along with quitting dip I'm not eating grains or sugar. Probably not the best idea but I need a change. I've let self-discipline go by the wayside and I need it back like I had it when I was a single college student getting A's, training hard, and hunting pussy on the weekends.
I'm not drinking until 10/22 when I go to see NOFX and Bad Religion in San Diego with my wife. I also completely came clean to my wife about ninja dipping a tin+ a day since before we met in 2009. She knew I would dip sometimes but not the extent. I've told everyone, even clients, that in itself is a major weight lifted. It's awesome to not lie anymore. It's also awesome not driving to 3 different places because the other two didn't have my flavor. I will not quit on myself ever again. I am quit forever.
Don't worry about quitting forever, learn to quit one day at a time. As far as anxiety it sounds more like fog to me. Maybe you will be one of the few who don't get anger issues but chances are you will, so be prepared and walk away from your family and friends. Come on here, bitch, grip whatever we can take but the family don't deserve it! Doing great, right attitude, all positives for making it here. Quit on
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Day 5 sounds so much better than days 1, 2, 3, and 4. I don't know what it is about 5 but it feels fucking great however my anxiety has been borderline out of control at times. I don't feel body aches, I don't feel like I'm coding out or anything but I feel like my brain locks up and I'm never going to be successful, I go deep down the rabbit hole only to to come out of it in a daze.
I'm a 32 year old business owner of 6 years with 11 month old twins living in a place that's too expensive on a single income as my wife stays home with the kids in expensive ass Yorba Linda, CA. The anxiety passes and I'm able to think clearly again. So far the thought of dip makes me sick but it's interesting to feel just how gnarly the addiction is. Along with quitting dip I'm not eating grains or sugar. Probably not the best idea but I need a change. I've let self-discipline go by the wayside and I need it back like I had it when I was a single college student getting A's, training hard, and hunting pussy on the weekends.
I'm not drinking until 10/22 when I go to see NOFX and Bad Religion in San Diego with my wife. I also completely came clean to my wife about ninja dipping a tin+ a day since before we met in 2009. She knew I would dip sometimes but not the extent. I've told everyone, even clients, that in itself is a major weight lifted. It's awesome to not lie anymore. It's also awesome not driving to 3 different places because the other two didn't have my flavor. I will not quit on myself ever again. I am quit forever.
Don't worry about quitting forever, learn to quit one day at a time. As far as anxiety it sounds more like fog to me. Maybe you will be one of the few who don't get anger issues but chances are you will, so be prepared and walk away from your family and friends. Come on here, bitch, grip whatever we can take but the family don't deserve it! Doing great, right attitude, all positives for making it here. Quit on
freeTB - I'm not too far ahead of you (I'm on day 21), so don't take me to be offering sage advice. I'm also unclear on whether you're experiencing anxiety or fog (or both!). What I can tell you is that I had mega anxiety early on. I did actually feel like I was coding a few times (I had my wife and little girls drag me to urgent care). Shaky, jitters, tachycardia, sweats, a general WTF-is-happening-to-me feeling, etc. Anxiety, but not directed toward anything in particular. This scared the hell out of me, because I've never been anxious a day in my life.
Then I found KTC and did some reading about nic withdrawal and realized *why* i was anxious. Once I dug around and began to understand more about anxiety, something clicked in my brain. When I felt it coming on, I could focus, tell myself its the nic, that I'm not about to die, etc., and could keep it at bay. The thing about anxiety is that it gets perpetuated and intensifies because of the unknown about what you're experiencing. Once you begin to understand what you are experiencing and why, you can in a very real sense *control* your anxiety.
At any rate, I don't know if that will help you, but it might. I'm a few weeks into my quit and I don't remember the last time I had anxiety. This too shall pass. And even if you feel like complete shit, just get through the rest of the day. Anybody can do that. Then, tomorrow, wake up and do it again. It's not easy, but it's simple.
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Day 5 sounds so much better than days 1, 2, 3, and 4. I don't know what it is about 5 but it feels fucking great however my anxiety has been borderline out of control at times. I don't feel body aches, I don't feel like I'm coding out or anything but I feel like my brain locks up and I'm never going to be successful, I go deep down the rabbit hole only to to come out of it in a daze.
I'm a 32 year old business owner of 6 years with 11 month old twins living in a place that's too expensive on a single income as my wife stays home with the kids in expensive ass Yorba Linda, CA. The anxiety passes and I'm able to think clearly again. So far the thought of dip makes me sick but it's interesting to feel just how gnarly the addiction is. Along with quitting dip I'm not eating grains or sugar. Probably not the best idea but I need a change. I've let self-discipline go by the wayside and I need it back like I had it when I was a single college student getting A's, training hard, and hunting pussy on the weekends.
I'm not drinking until 10/22 when I go to see NOFX and Bad Religion in San Diego with my wife. I also completely came clean to my wife about ninja dipping a tin+ a day since before we met in 2009. She knew I would dip sometimes but not the extent. I've told everyone, even clients, that in itself is a major weight lifted. It's awesome to not lie anymore. It's also awesome not driving to 3 different places because the other two didn't have my flavor. I will not quit on myself ever again. I am quit forever.
Don't worry about quitting forever, learn to quit one day at a time. As far as anxiety it sounds more like fog to me. Maybe you will be one of the few who don't get anger issues but chances are you will, so be prepared and walk away from your family and friends. Come on here, bitch, grip whatever we can take but the family don't deserve it! Doing great, right attitude, all positives for making it here. Quit on
freeTB - I'm not too far ahead of you (I'm on day 21), so don't take me to be offering sage advice. I'm also unclear on whether you're experiencing anxiety or fog (or both!). What I can tell you is that I had mega anxiety early on. I did actually feel like I was coding a few times (I had my wife and little girls drag me to urgent care). Shaky, jitters, tachycardia, sweats, a general WTF-is-happening-to-me feeling, etc. Anxiety, but not directed toward anything in particular. This scared the hell out of me, because I've never been anxious a day in my life.
Then I found KTC and did some reading about nic withdrawal and realized *why* i was anxious. Once I dug around and began to understand more about anxiety, something clicked in my brain. When I felt it coming on, I could focus, tell myself its the nic, that I'm not about to die, etc., and could keep it at bay. The thing about anxiety is that it gets perpetuated and intensifies because of the unknown about what you're experiencing. Once you begin to understand what you are experiencing and why, you can in a very real sense *control* your anxiety.
At any rate, I don't know if that will help you, but it might. I'm a few weeks into my quit and I don't remember the last time I had anxiety. This too shall pass. And even if you feel like complete shit, just get through the rest of the day. Anybody can do that. Then, tomorrow, wake up and do it again. It's not easy, but it's simple.
Awesome intro. Your story is so much like most of us here, but what really hit home for me was your last statement about coming clean. I did the same thing and told my wife, family, and friends. I also needed to chalk up a couple of weeks of quit and show this site to my wife because I needed some hard evidence that I was actually doing this for real - I tried, failed, and lied so many times before. But the reason I told everyone was for the accountability. The bigger the shame, the harder it would be to fail again. Also, having that many more people in your corner supporting you can really fuel your quit. So, my advice - keep fueling that quit. Post roll, continue getting involved, build some bonds here, and make that castle of quit impenetrable.
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Thanks for the support. Today is a big day. I'm out with friends all day. Playing 18 this afternoon then going to Thrice tonight. Today would be a close to 2 tin day, not gonna happen and I'm stoked to experience all the shit I miss out while spitting my money away. I know it's one day at a time but I'm fired up to get to post roll tomorrow for day 7.
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I just remembered something that happened yesterday. I lost control of my tongue for about 1 minute, I could only talk with a lisp and it felt like my tongue was curling into a ball like a leg cramp in the middle of the night then it just released. Has anyone experienced this?
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Day 5 sounds so much better than days 1, 2, 3, and 4. I don't know what it is about 5 but it feels fucking great however my anxiety has been borderline out of control at times. I don't feel body aches, I don't feel like I'm coding out or anything but I feel like my brain locks up and I'm never going to be successful, I go deep down the rabbit hole only to to come out of it in a daze.
I'm a 32 year old business owner of 6 years with 11 month old twins living in a place that's too expensive on a single income as my wife stays home with the kids in expensive ass Yorba Linda, CA. The anxiety passes and I'm able to think clearly again. So far the thought of dip makes me sick but it's interesting to feel just how gnarly the addiction is. Along with quitting dip I'm not eating grains or sugar. Probably not the best idea but I need a change. I've let self-discipline go by the wayside and I need it back like I had it when I was a single college student getting A's, training hard, and hunting pussy on the weekends.
I'm not drinking until 10/22 when I go to see NOFX and Bad Religion in San Diego with my wife. I also completely came clean to my wife about ninja dipping a tin+ a day since before we met in 2009. She knew I would dip sometimes but not the extent. I've told everyone, even clients, that in itself is a major weight lifted. It's awesome to not lie anymore. It's also awesome not driving to 3 different places because the other two didn't have my flavor. I will not quit on myself ever again. I am quit forever.
Congrats on quitting, my friend! You've come to the right place, KTC is full of awesome people who only want to see you succeed! You HAVE got this!
I'm only on day 116, still fighting the fight, though it is easier now. I can relate to many things you said. I run the family biz with my pops and also live in way-too-expensive SoCal. And we have 3 littles. So I KNOW your stress. :) That was always my biggest trigger, so just know that nic's bullshit is coming... she's gonna tell you "you deserve it" so many times. Just be ready to physically distract yourself any way you can: go on a walk, pushups, run in a circle screaming... whatever you can do. (The guys here will tell you to slam your nuts in a drawer, though I can't attest to that working or not as I don't have a pair haha.) I've found daily HARD gym sessions to be extremely helpful for me, to relieve stress. I also took natural L-theanine, 100mg morning and night. (I found that the NOW brand is most effective for me.) Whatever you do, don't cave. The knowledgeable folks here will tell you that "problem (stress, sadness, etc) + nic = 2 problems." That's the damn truth.
You also sound like you're very hard on yourself, very self-disciplined. I completely relate here, the lack of self-discipline I felt made me so angry. BUT I do warn you against trying to conquer Rome in a day. (I try to do this often myself... never works.) Quitting dip might be the hardest thing you've ever done (it was for me, and for many of us). So I recommend focusing on quitting only, for now. Put the rest off till later, when you're more concrete in your quit. Many of us here gained 10lbs over the first few months. That KILLED me, but you literally start going insane during the worst craves, and munching on things helps. Losing weight down the road is a good thing, losing your jaw to oral cancer is not. This is an excellent time to "pick your battle", in my opinion. Plus, cutting grains can lesson your fiber intake, and fiber is dearly needed, especially early in the quit when GI functions go crazy.
You're doing a great job, checking in here every day! That, posting roll EDD, giving your number to EVERYONE, and getting to know your fellow quitters will help your quit tremendously. Keep up the great work, proud to be quit with you!! Check your inbox too!
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welcome TB. i'm 32 myself. had been 17 years of skoal straight. I'm 206 days quit now. It WILL get better, I can promise you that. But no joke, this is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. Even more so than running a marathon, which also sort of sucked bad.
I commend you for going no grains and sugars - they are a deadly concoction. albeit a very slow and nowhere near a fraction of severity as chew is deadly. like Sooverit said, do not try to go overboard with whirlwind of life changes at once. I gained 10 lbs. I lost 10 lbs. I'm still losing weight, trying to get back to where I was when I used to run.
I had used chewing as an excuse for the last couple years... "If I quit, I'll get Fat(ter). every excuse in the book. we all used them to justify, but the smart ones of us eventually come to terms. It's time to be done.
welcome to the club. quit with you today
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also - NOFX is tight. The Decline is still one of my favorite compositions, even though Im much more of a Jamband guy today
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Keep it going, you're doing great! Lots of good advice, and see all the support you're building? These are some all-star quitters gathering in your corner!
re your mouth issue- i had a terrible sloughing off of the skin in my mouth, and numbness, and buzzing feeling in my tongue for a long time, and some strange twitches in the tongue too. So much weird stuff happens. But when you learn about all the chemicals in chew, it makes sense that there's gonna be some strange withdrawal reactions- it's not just nicotine you're kicking, it's a whole toxic soup of unregulated additives to heighten the experience of addiction and likely also economize production.
Keep quitting strong!
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Golfed 18 while my bro puffed on black n milds no issues it actually just smelled good. Just got back from Thrice and completed my 6th day. I'll be a full week quit tomorrow. Everyone's support is much appreciated.
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Golfed 18 while my bro puffed on black n milds no issues it actually just smelled good. Just got back from Thrice and completed my 6th day. I'll be a full week quit tomorrow. Everyone's support is much appreciated.
They'll be a point where the smell will make you nauseous ...and angry. F nicotine and every ounce of its being. Awesome accomplishment and display of badassery by staying quit through all that. Huge. Simply, huge win.
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To anyone thinking about quitting:
The best part of quitting is not hiding anything from my wife and family. I have an office/studio at home and work on video editing at night once the kids are asleep. I'll usually have head phones on to capture all the sound that would be lost in the room through my monitors but would either have an ear off or constantly looking over my shoulder in case the wife came in to chat. Sometimes I wouldn't have any work that I HAD to do but would just spend time looking through old footage to see if I could put a quick Instagram video together just so I could dip a little longer before bed. All of that would raise my adrenaline so that when I would finally call it a night I'd go to bed and have to put something on the tv to fall asleep.
It's insane what a difference 7 days makes. 7 days is no time at all, the first 3 were tough but I'm still breathing. I stocked my fridge Friday afternoon and then bunkered down for the weekend and didn't leave the house so that I didn't have to drive by the 711 that is at the bottom of the hill that I have to pass every single day. Monday and Tuesday I made phone calls so that I had to pass the 711 and stay on the phone. Wednesday I woke up a little late and had to get to work quick so I had no time to stop. Yesterday and today I had zero urge to stop in the morning though I had short craves lasting literally 2 seconds a couple times then it was instantly gone. Any time I crave I tell myself that I don't use tobacco, I never have, and the crave is gone.
It's important to not drink alcohol during this first week, alcohol ruins your self control, it's the worst. I'm a regular MJ user but I hate chewing after smoking due to the cottonmouth so thats always been a way for me to let the burn subside, just fire a bowl up. MJ should be introspective, I get hyper focused and am able to almost slow down time and take a good look inside. All of the times that I tossed full tins away was when I was stoned, I've always known how terrible it was.
I put myself into situations on purpose all week where I would normally chew (except for drinking alcohol). I golfed twice which would normally be a tin+, I drove 100 miles twice which I normally would have had a lip in the whole drive, I went to Thrice last night and would have dipped the whole time. It's important to me to go out and enjoy what I enjoy without being a slave anymore. I took the first two days to lock myself indoors, went through insane anxiety the next three days and came out day 6 feeling pretty good. Today, day 7, I feel pretty fucking great and ready to take the wife out for a fun night tonight. Each day is a battle but like everyone is saying, one day at a time. It's the same with anything you do just take it one day at a time and before you know it (especially if you have kids) a shit fuck ton of time has passed and you're living how you want to live.
Don't wait another moment, I spit out my last chew at 7:46pm Friday. Every day at 8pm I complete another day. The last thing I get to think about before I fall asleep is that I just made it another day.
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Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.
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Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.
He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.
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Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.
He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.
Thing that gets me is he was still awake after 3 Ruination IPA's!!!! :D
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Had 3 22oz Ruination IPA's last night at the Blink show, it made me hate dip even more. I'm focused and strong.
He finally is free!! Congrats on your quit. It gets better and a little easier as you go along with a few periods of worse and harder in between. Coming up on 2 months free myself and it is a GREAT FEELING! Stay focused, stay committed, and keep drinking good beer. Go Pats and keep on the drive for 5.
Thing that gets me is he was still awake after 3 Ruination IPA's!!!! :D
I could have kept going. I LOVE beer.
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Nice to know I'm not the only 1 to throw half empty cans out the window. I drive the Brown Truck for a living and there are many rural route drive ways and roads that have those half cans in them.
Sure as hell I can remember where they are too, but I made the promise to stay quit for that day that morning so I do not get out and look in the grass or trees for them.
1 day at a time I'm going to win.
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Nice to know I'm not the only 1 to throw half empty cans out the window. I drive the Brown Truck for a living and there are many rural route drive ways and roads that have those half cans in them.
Sure as hell I can remember where they are too, but I made the promise to stay quit for that day that morning so I do not get out and look in the grass or trees for them.
1 day at a time I'm going to win.
Dude, good job. Don't go back. I'm on 10 days and never made it more than 24 hours in 10 years. It's a brutal first week, drink a shit ton of water and don't cave to the nic bitch. Food is already tasting better and I'm happier. I've saved $60 so far in 10 days too. I started a separate savings account that I transfer $6 per day in, I plan on doing this and using it for a family vacation each year.
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As I approach my two week mark I feel in total control of my quit. My mindset is to kill or be killed and is starting to bleed over into other bad habits I have. I have 2 or 3 small craves a day but they pass quickly. I haven't come close to pulling into a 711 parking lot and have only been filling up my truck at gas stations I already know don't carry my flavor. In 10 full quit days I've learned a lot and know I'm in control, I will not let flavored tobacco control me. Fuck big tobacco and fuck the people in power that allow them to thrive on us.
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Days 11 and 12 have easily been the most crave moments I've had since quitting. Wanted to throw a lip more than I have so far during the last 24 hours. Obviously I'm quit and don't use tobacco or those gay vape pens (unless it's THC).
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Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.
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Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.
One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.
The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.
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Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.
One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.
The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.
FreeTB,
Do you mean Tibet or Tuberculosis? I've been wondering.
Something you may have seen on here is important: one problem + nicotine = two problems. Whenever the shit hits the fan, with moving work, with growing business, with home and family life, never let that thought escape your mind. Most of us have addict brains that tell us a dip will make any given situation better, but that is horse shit. I can relate to your story (biz owner/ two little girls), and I'm only a few weeks ahead of you, but dear god I would never want to return to day 15. Keep plowing through and focus on just today. Anyone can quit for a day.
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Nic is a cunt. There's no other way to put it. The first 5 days were actually pretty brutal. I have a weird extreme way of looking at things, if I didn't almost die then how bad could it have been? I didn't come close to dying, I survived so was it really that bad? Days 1-5 I felt sick when I thought of dipping, that feeling went away closer to day 10. I'd say days 5-11 I would want to dip out of habit, I'd get the urge then remind myself that I don't do that anymore. Days 12-15 I've wanted to dip more so than in the first week. I attribute that to not being as present on KTC as I was the first 10 days or so. This week was gnarly for me. My twins first bday party is tomorrow so I've been helping the wife get everything in order for the 30 or so people coming over, luckily it's at 2pm and the Pats play at 10. I've had my own business for 6 years now, I'm an owner/operator and haven't wanted to step back and let other people run it yet. When the girls were born I moved my whole office home so that I could help my wife and be there to see my girls. I'm normally working 12-15 hour days at the office so it would be tough to actually see them. It's been great seeing them develop into actual people but my work has declined drastically and I've gotten to the point where I have to be more present in my business if I want it to keep growing. I picked this week to move my office back from home and it's been a total shit show. My cravings have been insane and it's been very hard to get on here and write. I'm writing now because I had a gnarly craving, the kind where nic whispers to you to just get pouches because they're not as bad. I'll NEVER cave but I knew I needed to get online and start writing until the craving subsides and wouldn't you know it, it worked and it's gone. I'm literally only writing what comes to my head and won't proof read this before I post. Maybe I'm on to something, any time a craving hits I need to write or voice memo to get through it. What a shitty reality that a fucking plant had this much control over me. I'm stoked I'm 1/2 way to a month and can't wait to hit the first personal 30 day milestone and then the 100 day. If you're reading this and are on days 1-14, keep going, stay quit today then quit again tomorrow otherwise you'll have 1/2 a face best case scenario. No one wants half a face or worse so don't be a pussy, stay quit.
One day, in the not too distant future, you will come back and read this and be so glad you wrote it. You will feel so much better then, and time has a tendency to heal wounds. This post will remind you of the bullshit that nicotine really is.
The intros are one of the best tools on this site. I like your idea of using it as a journal. You'll be glad you did.
FreeTB,
Do you mean Tibet or Tuberculosis? I've been wondering.
Something you may have seen on here is important: one problem + nicotine = two problems. Whenever the shit hits the fan, with moving work, with growing business, with home and family life, never let that thought escape your mind. Most of us have addict brains that tell us a dip will make any given situation better, but that is horse shit. I can relate to your story (biz owner/ two little girls), and I'm only a few weeks ahead of you, but dear god I would never want to return to day 15. Keep plowing through and focus on just today. Anyone can quit for a day.
Tom Brady (#12, greatest of al time)
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I understand and appreciate the support that's available here. I'm only 20 days quit and this site got me though the thick of it in the beginning so wtf do I know. I never made it more than 24 hours without nic since 2002 and I'm 20 days deep. I can say with extreme confidence that I'll never use again, there's too much to lose and now that I've made it out I won't ever need to start over. Yeah I'll get craves, who doesn't, but I know I'll never go back, I've already won in my mind. I'll still post roll because I'm a numbers guy and want to see that number keep ticking up but I can't guarantee that it will be first thing in the morning, it may actually be the last thing I do before bed, get over it. Like I said, I appreciate the support, I really appreciate those who have messaged and emailed me check in, that's rad. I don't get motivated by shit talking, I get motivate by kindness. Reading shit like "you didn't post roll this morning so you're gonna cave" is bullshit, seriously eat a dick man. I wake up at 4am every day to shit, shower and sprint to my truck to get to work on time. I own my own business. I work non stop on my feet away from a computer from 5-10am, then I'm in meetings till noon, work away from my computer off and on. If I'm on my computer I'm responding to the dozens of emails I get a day. If I'm lucky I get home by 9pm just in time to put my daughters down to bed then I do it all over again the next day, 16 hour days 5 days a week. On weekends I spend every waking moment with my family being that I don't see them during the week. It's probably the nic and the recent realization that I hate where I live and want to sell my business and move my family the fuck out of California but I'm fucking pissed, like all day every day. Serious, serious anger running through me every day. I post roll and read the shit that people write and while I understand what you're trying to do I just don't agree with it. Like I said, I'll continue to come on, log my thoughts and post roll but I'm not going to engage, sorry. Hopefully someone else will read what I write as motivation, that's what I have to contribute, I just have too much going on. You can call me a "ghost poster", it doesn't hurt my feelings but I'm still quit and still haven't missed a day of posting roll.